Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 21 Mar 1888, p. 7

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«f Stated Jewrtry irmm • Guwrtmr ud the Snnrd It fUvarpoot Ootetsr.] "The rummieat start I twhaud of," Mad the patriarch*! driver, "wm that tbkb enaed a who is deadnow, to be known as the "resur­ rectionists.' He was a day nan and waa going homo about 11 o'clock with his foar-wheeler Mid stopped for a last drink at a public house, when a man who was at the bur spoke to him. The man said he was In trouble. He had lost a child and, being oat of em­ ployment, he had no means of burying it, and of all things he was anxions to avoid the disgrace of having it bnricd by the pariah. He had man­ aged to buy a coffin, he said, and his idea was to take it at night time to some cemetery and buy it himself in consecrated ground. " 'And If yon are agreeable, to take me and the little box as far as cemetery,' he says, 'I will willingly give you a crown for your trouble. I'd carry it there myself, only it might be awkward if I was stopped with a coffin in my possession.' "It was a queer kind of a job, but the cabman had bad luck ail! day, and it was five shillings easily earhed, and he agreed on 'condition that the coffin was only a little one.' M 'She was only 9 months old when she died, pretty creator,' said the chap, wiping his eyes with his coat cuff, 'and small at that.' "So the cabman stayed at the corner, and presently the chap came back with the little coffin in a black bag, and with a garden spade under his coat They drove to the cemetery and round to the back part of it, and the chap having put th$ coffin over the pailings, climbed over himself. He wasn't very long gone, and when he returned he gave the cabman a crown. " '1 shan't ride back with you,' says he. The job has upset my nerves, and I shall be better for a walk.' "So he went off, and the cabman, be­ ginning by this time to think there was something wrong about the business, took one of his lamps and looked into the cab, and there on the mat was a lady's gold necklace, new and with the shop-ticket still on it, and an odd ear-ring as well, which was also new. He was sure now that there was some­ thing wrong, and, after having a bhort drive round while he thought it over, he came back to the cemetery pailing and got over at the same spot the chap had, taking a lamp with him, and found, as he had expected, that it was easy to trace the footsteps in the soft earth from the place where the lad had jumped, and he traced it on till they came to an end, and then kicked up the loose soil, and hardly a foot deep was the little coffin, buried in the bag. As soon as he lifted it he waa made aware by a clinking sound inside that he was not far out In his suspicion, and with­ out staying to open it he drives with it straight to the police station, and there it was found it contained more than £700 worth of jewelry that had b9en stolen from a shop in the west end a few nights before; and the chap got took on the cabman's description of him and received seven years, and the cabman, who was ever afterward known as the 'resurrectionist,' he got £100 from the jeweler; and there is no doubt that the money was the death of him," said the narrator, the meeting breaking up, and we all rising to take our leave. "It got him into drinking habits and he never got out of 'em till the} settled him.* f*fv; Recent Inventions. Here are a number of inventions which do not need lone* descriptions: A small, round rubber mat with little spikes all over it, on which the oashier drops the silver change, and from which the customer easily picks it A cheese cutter consisting of a swing knife, by which the grocer can, with certainty, cut ten ounces from the oheese whenever the customer orders half a pound. A balloon whieh carries a lightning rod in the air over an oil tank. A cigar selling machine that drops out an all-Havana, clips the end off and exposes a match and a piece of sandpaper whenever a nickel of lead blank is dropped in a slit in the side of the machine. A nose protector (Idaho invention), by which a woolen pad is snugly car­ ried on the end of the nose in cold weather. An electrical boot-blacking machine, in which a brush is rapidly revolved in a non-rotating handle. The whirling brush bringB the shine in one-tenth of the time o| the old vibratory elbow method. A rubber funnel which may be fitted over the head, big end up, so as to in­ close all the hair while the barber shampoos a customer. A tube hangs down behind, so as to carry away the suds, while a hose for brushing out the hair, funnel, and tube is provided. It is an invention of a German barber. A monster bicycle, with places for two men in a basket swung below the axle, who operate the maohine with levers geared to the axle. A decoy duck with a variety of de- ; tachable heads. A - An air pump to force oil from a tank on a ship over a stormy Bea. A fan rotated by the wheels of a baby carriage to keep the flies off the baby. A church pew that looks like a pew, but has comfortable arm-chairs within. A device which will prevent the most restless individual from kicking the clothes off the bed. It is the invention of a Chicago woman. A new gun with a battery In the stock and cartridges which have coils of platinum wire where the cap is. Press­ ing the trigger oonnects the |ooil with a battery. A combined rocking-chair and cradle (indescribable). A combined kitchen ventilator and clock winder, being a device for con- : necting the ventilator wheels commonly ' placed in windows with the family clock. --Chicago Mail. Witchcraft en tfes Cengs. The doctor to this dying chief was pleased to say that the missionaries had traded with him for !>»• soul. People continued to die in that town, and they were sure some one was stealing the souls of the people, so they called the doctor again, and the richest man in town was found to be the witch. Of course the man had to die. He ordered all his slaves out and armed them and declared himself ready to meet the new chief's party. The rich man being the stronger, they ended it after a quarrel. We heard the noise and went over to the town, and the face of the uganga was something fearful. He was dressed and painted until he was quite dis­ guised. That matter did not satisfy the superstitions of the people, as peo­ ple continued to die. The next we knew they had taken to the valley poor helpless woman, a wife of the de chief, and killed her. This Qr lw had dons it, i had not We sent 1 saying such a They oame^np wfcilewswere las lift* he would no# " " would he say fcs down to the state ofllo thing had happened. at onee to arrest the chief." The man could not be found. This gave birth to a oontraot between all the chiefs and state that saoh is not to be thaease again, sad that If such a tiling should happen the chief allowing it is to be arrested by the others and deliv­ ered to the state. There Shall Be Ne Mere Knights. Queer ideas we nineteenth-century people have about names and titles. Take this great organization of work- ingmen, the hard-working, industrious toilers of our land--the Knights of La­ bor. Could inspiration suggest a name more misleading and inappropriate? If there was anything in the world that the plumed knight didn't do, it was work. If there was one thing he con­ sidered degrading, it was honest toil. If there was a creature in all the world for which he had a profound contempt, it was a workingman. He called the honest laborer a hind, a churl, base borne, ignoble, a clown. He believed that the workingman was made of coarser clay than the knight of gentle blood; I think he even doubted if the laborer had a soul. A cowardly, quar­ relsome, hard-drinking, bragging, thieving, "high-born" knave, who bar­ ricaded himself and his horse in a ton of armor plating, and with a lance twenty feet long rode into a mob of half-naked wretches armed with bows and arrows, and called it war. Why the honest, brave, toiling workers of to­ day, free-born men, should want to call themselves "knights," rather than yeo­ men, I don't know. Ah! brethern, the English isn't the only man who "dearly loves a lord." We seem to love even the faded reminiscence of one. Why, out in Emporia, Kan., while I was waiting for a "thunderbolt train" that was six hours late, a voice called into the waiting-room, "Sir Walter 1* and "Sir Walter" said "Hey ?" and got up. I observed "Sir Walter." The grim old knight wore a sword-belt three sizes too small for him, and his rapier hung down between his legs. His boots wore the ruddy hue of boots that shuddered at the scent of blacking; large, roomy, many-wrinkled boots they were, and the soil of the Kansas corn-field clung to them in gouts and patchea His black .pantaloons, scant in the lean pattern of a bygone day, bagged fearfully at the bunched and bony knees, and his black frock-coat was a night-mare. But Sir Walter's hat was the hat of a Plumed Knight, and it lent to his grizzled face and bony figure the genial aspect of a soare- crow that had gone through a nyflkery store. "Sir Walter" looked a ^Haent for a convenient corner, but iKling none, turned his face toward the stove, projected his underlip a scant half- inch, and with one sibilant, well- directed shot put out the fire, tossed his now useless quid in after it, and without pausing to gaze upon the ruin, followed "Sir George" out of the door. They were knights of something-- omniscient Providence only knows wliat--but they were knights, and pos­ sibly, barons. They looked barren.-- Burdeite. A Long Look Ahead. They were sitting together in the warm parlor saying little, but thinking much. But lovers do not need tit say much to be companionable. "There's a language that looks And a silence that speaks t A fomothing that cannot be told." ' The little dock on the mantle for a Considerable time had been the only speaker. Its tick, tick, tick, tick, seemed to the youth to say, kiss her, kiss her, kiss her. To the maiden it said leap year, leap year, leap year, and its reiteration of this phrase moved the maid to break the silence: "How funny some people are?* she said. "Funny?" "Yes, some people who are going to be married." «Oh!" "Yes, some want to be married in balloon, some on the middle arch of a bridge, some in a boat, some in a rail­ road train, some on horseback, some on the edge of a precipice, some down in a coal mine--" "Yes, I have notioed it" i "What is their object I wonder?"' • "Marriage, of course." . "Well, I'll tell you what I think. They get married in this way so that they can tell their .children and their grandchildren they were married uifder peculiar circumstances, as for instance, your mother and me, children, were fnarried in u coal mine, or your grand­ mother and me, children, were married in a balloon." "I'll bet that,s just the reason," said the maiden. "Of course it is the reason." There was a pause. Then the maiden with a glowing cheek said: "I've been thinking, John." "Yes ?" hejsaid, interrogatively. "I've been thinking how funny it would be " (a pause and a deeper blush.) "Well, Bella, you've been thinking what?" "I've been thinking how funny it would be if " X. "Yes." "If when the subject marriage comes up thirty or forty years hence you can point to me and say: 'Why, children, your grandmother proposed to me in leap year and we were married a few weeks after.' " John is very busy these days furnish­ ing a nice little cottage and Bella is superintending the making of her wed­ ding dress.--Boston Courier. The Lady, the Burglar, and the Dog. A dog fiancier declares that a watch dog is of no use to a lady, because if he barks and arouses her she is more frightened than is the burglar; while a dog that will attack without barking is sure not to be a social companion, such as a lady likSs to have in her boudoir. "I once sold a fine bull-terrier to an elderly lady, who, distrusting servants, and living all alone in her house, thought she needed such a protector. Coming down to light the fire one morning, she was horrified to find her dog grimly watching a burly ruffian in the kitchen. ' *If you please, marm,'said the man, touching his cap as she entered, 'I ain't took nothin' yet That 'ere beast o'yourn would a tore me to small bits if I had. He's been a-keepin' his eye on me, marm, and if Pd stirred a step he'd a been at me. I've put in a most uncommon nasty night, marm, and I do hope you won't be hard on me.' "She was not hard upon him. She gave him his breakfast and allowed him to go unmolested. Then she came round to my place with the dog and sold him back to mo at half price, say­ ing that if I had told her he was so re­ morseless brute she would never al­ lowed him in her house at all.*--Kan­ sas City Time*. (Bottom Globe.] i DTOB BOB8&. Little Bertha lives in one of Boston's suburbs, and last summer, when two sad one-half years old, was playing °&e day near her grandpa on the piasza. Seeing a horse pass Whieh was covered with a net, she exclaimed: "Pity sakes. grandpa, there is a horse with a shawl on!" ABC BED POTTLTBT. We are boarding with a lady who saves remnants of food for her washer­ woman's hens. My little girl came lb to my room the other afternoon and with quite a serious look on her face said to me: "Mamma, 1 shouldn't think Ellen's hens would be a bit healthv." "Why not?" I asked. "Why, Miss gives them all her old swill" WHERE THE GOLD FISHES W£NT. A little 3-year-old boy wished to bury his gold fishes that died. His mother gave him a spoon to dig a grave in the garden, and watched him while he buried them and marked the place. The next morning he wished to go out and visit the grave of his fishes, but soon came in saying they were gone, and he thought the devil had got their bodies, but he knew God had got their souls. WOULD TOLERATE KIM. A little niece of mine, agedS, one day at Hull asked of her mother, "is there a president over Hull?" and, on receiving an affirmative reply, sho said, "Well, I should think that God and Jesus Christ could manage Hull with­ out a president" At another time sha said to a lady, "My mother is English and I am En­ glish, and 'Dada' is American, but we are going to keep him just the same." HER IDEA OF PABTY. My little 4-year-old sister, upon seeing the evening star one night not long since, asked: "Mamma, is God u policeman?" "Why?" " 'Cause he's got his star (Hi,* Hearing a discussion regarding a re­ cent election, she said, "she would not be a Demicrank, she would be a Plug- gemot," meaning Democrat and Re­ publican. HARD ON THE V. D.'a. While making a professional call on a child, the grandmother, who has great faith in doctors, as I know from past I experience, was telling of a remedy used | as a poultice by some lady twenty-five ; years ago with success, and then added innocently: "I guess she did not doctor I much any way, for she is alive yetl" I A PRACTICAL TEST. I Johnny, who is 4 years old, was playing in the yard one day, and A lady who lives close by wished to have the , eggs, if any were laid since her last ! visit to the hennery, brought in. She said to the little boy: "Johnny, will you go to the hennery and see if there ; are any eggs there?* Don't bring in the ohina ones; leave them there; but if there be any others bring them in." Johnny started to do the bidding, and soon returned with two or three broken eggs and his pinafore soiled. The lady seeing hii&ooming, exclaimed: "Oh, Johnny; how did you break the •gffs?" "Johnny looked at her in surprise, and said: "How could I tell whether they were china eggs or not if I didn't try them?" ^ Hie Pagodss of Bsmak.^:, One feature of the picturesque, how* ever, was ever wanting--the pagodas. They were always in sight, and oftentimes scores of them would be seen. They were a,ll sizes, from twelve feet up to twenty and more. Some were in ruins, with shrubs and trees growing out of their debris; others were white and well pre­ served, with glided umbrellas in their pinnacles and ornamentations of mirror glass Hashing back the sun's rays, and of late evenings looking like light-houses; sometimes they were on little eleva­ tions in the plain, then were mounted on almost inaccessable hill tops. Some were single, others were in groups. Some had kyoung attach­ ments and were monasteries in the neighborhood of villages; others were miles away from any habitation. At Pagahn, once the capital of the kingdom, on a space along the river oi eight miles, by two miles deep, there are said to be 9,999; many of them of great size and gilded from top to bot­ tom. The gilding, however, is much tarnished. There are several here totally different from the ordinary pat­ tern, having the appearance of noble cruciform cathedrals, with windowsand great halls within, and surmounted with lofty domes and conical spires. Both on our upward and downward voyages we anchored opposite this old town. It was a strange sight to look upon, this city of beautiful buildings in every stage of decay, in which no living people dwelt As the sun dropped down its rays were caught by the mirrors, now on one and then on another lofty spird, aa if the spirits of the long since dead were revisiting the scenes of their pious deeds. After nightfall, when the nearly full moon lighted the whole tip with her pale face,the thing was wonderfully weird and touching. Centuries have gone by since a great population lived close by. Superstitions --not cruel and revolting--superti tions whose aliment was a beautiful and dreamy philosophy, caused this strange profusion of vain offerings. The centuries have been laid by with those of the mighty past, and the de­ scendants of the builders of these edi­ fices are just as their forefathers were, governed by the same blind supersti­ tions. Their faculties, naturally bright and joyous, have bsen numbed, and their energies repressed by a religious philosophy which teaches that a life of dead tranquillity and an eternity ot slothful dreaminess is better than an eternity of active joys aud singing de­ lights. The tradition is that an old prophecy taught that if 10,000 pagodas should be erected at dynasty would be eternal But when new ones were erected and a count was had, it invariably turned out that as many old had crumbled into deoay as new ones had been erected. The ten- thousandth pagoda could never be counted. One of the' kings became alarmed. He thought the demons had conspired against the then capital, and so moved it away. But the pagodas remain, and Pagahn is to the Buddhist as sacred as Jerusalem is to the Christum.--Carter H. Harrison, in the Mandalay, India, Dietetic Piety. Lady Lent (piously)--Waiter, bring me a cup of tea, a cracker, and an egg. Waiter--Dis an't Friday, mum. Lady Lent (recovering )--It is Thurs­ day, isn't it? Well, bring me a beef­ steak, a mutton chop, some liver, and bacon, hot rolls, corn, bread, and a cup of coffee--Washington Critic. sidarad baldness a serious affliction, and JuliaaOiesar WM never quite satisfied with himsrtf beotafce Jus poll was bus. 1!M faea, however, ia the opea book, and ope oaa.readily tesee in ita various expres­ sions, Haas, ohSDgos, and complexion the stats of the aystem. • The eye thai is unusually bright, and yet has a palid brightness, the face upon whose cheeks nature t>aiata arose of eingmatbeauty and flash, more marked in contrast with the alabaster appearance of the forehead -- BOSS and lower part of the face; is one of tko*e whom the skilled physician will tell you Will some day dread the funereal month of March, because it is then that consumption reaps its richest harvest Consumption, they tell us, is caused by thia, that, and the other thing, by microbes in the air, by micro-or- fauiams in the Mood, by deficient nutrition y a thousand aad one but whatever the eaoae, deoay begins with a cough, and the : remedy that will effectually stop the cause of that cough cores the disease of the !St is all there is ot it The ooogh is an evidenss of a wasting, lb stop it effectually, a remedy must be used that will search out the oanse, remove that, and then head the lung and do a way with the oongh. This is the power, special to lteelf, possessed alone by Warner's Log Cabin Cough and Consumption remedy. This is no new-fangled notion of narcotics and poisons, bnt an old-fashioned preparation of bal­ sams, roota, and herbs, audi aa waa used by our ancestors many yean ago, the formula of which has been secured exclusively by the present manufacturers at great trouble and expense. It is not a mere cold dryer. It is a system-ieacher and npbuilder sad a consumpthm expellant. Where others fail, it wins, because it gets at the constitutional cause and removes it from the system. J. W. Ilensaw, of Greensboro, Pa, on Jan. 15, 1888, reported that "he had derived mora real benefit for the length of time, from War. nerVi LOR Cabin Cough and Consumption remedy tun he had for years from the beat State phyrioiana." If you have a oongb, night B wests, "positive assuranos in your own mind that von, oh-- yon., have no consumption," and vet lose fieafa, appetite, courage, as your lungs waste away, you may know that soon the funereal month of March will claim you, unless promptly and faithfully you nse (he article named. If other remedies have failed trv this one thoroughly. If others are offered, insist the more on trying this unequaled prepara­ tion. Some persons are prone to consumption, and they should never allow the diseass to become seated. Hong Kong and lb Coolies. On the mainland shore at Hong Kong are large docks, barracks, an observa­ tory, and other solid evidences of En­ gland's firm grasp and power, and comparative quiet reigns; but at the water's edge of the city the whole din and uproar of a Chinese city assaults the ears, as the same old Chinese smell ! deals the nose a blow. The Praya, that runs along the water's edge, with high stone houses on one side, swarms with barefooted coolies with poles and burdens over their shoulders, and sedan ehairs carried by more coolies spirit an occasional foreigner along above the common heads. The fronts of the high houses have open arcades at each story, and are covered with signs, among which the vermilion paper of the Chi­ nese shows everywhere. The conveyance one rides in is not Italian, nor are the common people by the roadside like the fascinating inhab­ itants of the peninsula. The cheapness of human labor is shown when one can be borne aloft on the shoulders of two men, like an idol in a procession, at the rate of fifteen cents an hour, and the contrast between the leisure and work­ ing classes is most apparent when the ono leans back in h 's ease and the other pants under the poles of the chair. Nearly all the coolies are barefooted, loose, flapping straw sandals being sometimes worn to save the feet from the fine, sharp atones with which the cement roads are set. The slip-slap muffled sound of bare feet being set down flatly and in a steady mechanical beat, as regular as machinery, has a curious effect on one. At first it seems as though the regularity of the tread was enough to soothe one to sleep, but afterward, especially if coming home late in the evening through these still avenues of trees and high stone walls, there is something in this methodical foot-fall that gives one an uncomfort­ able sensation, as of being carried off by sogio unknown power suggestive of evil and the supernatural. The chair coolie wears only the two cotton gar­ ments, unless the weather is chill enough to call for a second coat, or hot enough to remove the first one. The trousers are of the universal Chinese cut for the coolie class, each leg in a flopping petticoat of cotton a yard wide, reaching below the knee. No race of people have designed an uglier dress and stuck to it without change for so many centuries.--Hong Kong correspondent e. Death s Welcome Batoaw. ; J Must it not be to thoae who endure lift-long bodily suffering? From childhood to old age many persons are tormented with rheumatism and neuralgia. Ordinary medication and topi­ cal remedies are of slight, and always of tem­ porary efficacy. To escape the extreme tortures of these agonizing complaints, they ahould be annihilated at the outset with Hoatetter'a EStunach Bitters, which expel* from the ayatem the acrid impurities that beget them. The evidence as to its efficacy as a blood depurent in this particular is very ample, and strongly concurrent and convincing. In violent forms of these diseases the nerves are terribly racked. A wineglassful or two of the Hitters before the boar of retiring usually brings a rospite from pain, and enablea the sufferer to secure much needed repose. For kidney troubles, malarial complaints, indigestion, liver complaint ani constipation, the Bitters ia likewise beneficial. The Finger Kails. The growth of the nails is more rapid in children than in adults, and slowest in the aged. It goes on more rapidly in summer than in winter; so that the same nail that is renewed in 132 days in winter, requires only 116 in summer. The increase for the nails of the right hand is more rapid than for the left; it also differs for the differ­ ent fingers, and in order corresponding with the length of the finger. It js most rapid for the middle finger; nearly equal for two either side, slow­ er for the little finger, and slower $&t the thumb.--Exchange. Tossing with the 014 Man. Til teach you to play pitch-and- toss l" shouted an enraged father. "I'll flog you for an hour, 1 will." "Father," n i. , ,, instantly replied the incorrigible, as he Pagahn ^t and the ruling | h&l&nce'd /penny on his thumb and finger, "I toss you to make it two hours or nothing."--Boston Globe. ACCORDING to an old superstition of the mediaeval church, whenever a cock crows a lie is being told. The reason that cocks crow so persistently in the early morning hours is because the morning papers are being set up.-- American Hebrew. iswardforlt oaM of . oaanot cam The Bemedv k aold «sats. T5Twood«: AllMMdyfcM fi&lsl attained a world-wide rasMstioa. If you have dull, heavy head- adba, obstruction of the nasal paaaagea, dia- charm falling from the head inM^roat snd acrid, at watery and inltamed; if then is ringing i£ IhooairL dMfneaa. hackiag or eougiing to clear wis throat; e*p»ctocahon of offemive matter, together with scabs from nloen; the VAIM Ka(«I« ^haaiaaj ^ Xa&Mhl ~ the bnaft offensive; ~amell and taste im­ paired; eenaatioD of dlzaineee. with mental depression, a hacking cough and general d*. WHty, yon are suffering from nasal oatarrh. TO» more complicated your disease, the gtsattr the number aad diversity of symp- tomsL Thousands of cases annually, without manifesting half of the above symptoms, re­ sult in consumption, aad end in the grava. No disease ia so common, more deceptive and dangerous, or less understood, or more un- suctiSssfnlly treated by physicians. 4 TOBACCO buyer visiting Kentuoky is ons of the politest ef BMn. He says," Boy your leaf, sir?"--Texas Sifting*. WOULD you know the keen delight ..-Of » wholesome appetite, ~: •Unrestrained by colic's dire, , leadaohe'a cane, or lever's flafe ~ iiif --ihta monose, or icv chilli Then uae Dr. Pierce's pills. Dr. Pierce'e Purgative Pellets--the original and only genuine little Liver Pills; 25 coats a vial MAST an old book , has bssa bo sad over to kssp tha place. A Michigan Central Railroad Employe Wins His Case After a Seven Tears* Contest. . ALBION, Jitch., Dec. 90,1887! While employed aa agent of the Michigan Central Railroad Company at Augusta, Mich, about seven years ago, my kidneys became diseased, and I have been a great anffemr ever since. Have consulted the leading phy­ sicians of this city and Ann Arbor, and all pronounoed my case Bright'# disease. After taking every highly recommended remedy that I hail kuowledge of, to no purpose, and while Buffering under a very severe attack in October last, began taking Hibbard'a Rheu­ matic Syrup, and am to-day a well man. It affords me pleasure to render suffering hu­ manity any good that I can, snd in speaking of the remedy, al'ow me to aay that I think it thf greatest medicine ia the world. E. LAKZILEKK, Agent M. C &. B. "CHARITY suffereth long." This is largely owing to the fact that there is so much red tape in doling out assistance.-- Boston Transcript. a . • _ Many People Refuae to Take Cod liver Oil on account of its unpleasant taste. This difficulty has been overcome in Scott's Emulsion of Cod liver Oil with Hvpophoe- phites. It being as palatable as milk', and the most valuable remedy known for the treat­ ment of Consumption, Hcrofula and Bron­ chitis, General Debility, Wasting Diseases of Children, Chronic Coughs and Colds, has caused physicians in all parts of the world to use it Physicians report our little patients take it with pleasure. Try 8oott's Emulsion and be convinced. "WHAT did Addie have on at the cotil­ lon?" "Better ask me what she had off-- quicker work." " Brown's llroncliial Troches" are widely known a» an admirable remedy for Bronchitis, Hoarseness, Coughs, and Throat troubles. Sold only in boxes. So long as female teachers are em­ ployed in the public schools tha "switch* will be found^here. ' Special Lsnd Exfnrsfons. On March IMth, April 3d and 24th, May 8th and 22.1, and June 5th, 1888, the "iiurlington Route," C,, B. and Q. It. 11, will run upoeial Liaud Excursions irom Chicago, Peoria, St. Louis and ail stations on its line to pointa in Nebraska, Kansas, Minnesota and Dakota, and to points m Colorado east of aud includ­ ing Akron aud Sterling on the B. aud M. R lt'y and Sterling on the U. P. R'y. at greatly reduced rates. This will afford home-aeekera, land buyora and others an excellent oppor­ tunity for the inspection of the fertile country of central, northwestern snd southwestern Nebraska aud north western Kansas, reached by the new extension* of the Burlington and Missouri River K R. in Nebraska Also, to visit the rich agricultural districts of Dakota and Minnesota reached by the Burlington lion to. A great reduct on in rates will also be made to Texas, New Mexico, Tennessee, Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana snd Arkan­ sas points on March 20th, April 3d and 24th, May 8th and 32d, aud June oth, 1888. Ticket* good for 30 days to Nebraska, Kansas, Color­ ado, Minaeaota and Dakota points, and to all other States mentioned. 00 days. Liberal stop-over privileges will be accorded passen­ gers beyond terminal points of this line. Fob tickets, .general or further information re­ garding tho above, apply to any ticket agent of its own or connecting lines, or address PAUL MORTON, General Passenger and locket Agent, C., B. and Q. R R., Chicago, Hi LOOK YOUNG, prevent tendency to wrinkles or ageing of the skin by using LEAUKSLLS On* Preserves a youthful, plump,fresh condition of the features A transparent alabaster skin, #1. Druggists or ex p. E. o. Wells, Jersey City, N.J. Consumption Surely Cared. to the Editor: Pleaae inform your readers I have a positive remedy for the above- named diBeasu. By ita timely nse thonaandaof hopeless cases have been permanently cured. I ahall be glad to send two Dottles of my remedy FRBF, to any of your readera who have conauiap- tkm if tney will aend me their Expreas and P. O. addreaa. Respectfully, T. A. SLOCUM. M. C.. 181 Pearl St, M. T. "ROUGH ON ITCH" Ointment cures Skin Hu­ mors, Pim pies. Flesh Worms, Bine Worm, Tetter, Salt Rheum, Frosted Feet, Chilblains, Itch, Ivy Poison,Barbsrt Itch. Scald Head,Eczema. 50a Druggiats or mail K & Wells, Jersey City, N. J. Catarrh Cnnd. A clergyman, after years of suffering from that loathsome disease. Catarrh, and vainly trying overy known remedy, at last found a prescription which completely cured and aaved him from death. Any sufferer from this dreadful disease sending a self-addressed stamped envelops to Prof. J. A. Lawronce, 212 East Ninth street, New York, will receive tho recipe free of charge. •ROUGH ON RATS," for rata mioe, bugs. 15a "ROUGH ON CATABRK. " Only absolute cura 50a "HOUGH ON COBNS. " Hard or soft corna 15a "HOUGH ON TOOTIIACHS." Instant relist 15a WHXK a threatening long diaoste, - Showfl its first proclivity, i : Do not let it croaa the border-*?, Quell it with activity. ft, ' ' Many a patient, young or olde(K " • ^ '* Owea a quick raeovery S. All to Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery. AK utter failure--the inability to make a speech* ROuGH ON PILES. Qnick, complete^ure. Mo. BUCHU-PAIBA, Great Kidney Remedy. WELLS' HEALTH RENKWXK for weak mttL WBLLtf HA1B BALSAM. If gray, gradually reaterss color; elegant toois dressing. 50& Half-Rate Land Excursions Will leave Chicago via the Chioago, Milwau­ kee and St Paul Railway for points in North­ ern Iowa, Minnesota, Dakota, Kansss and Ne­ braska, on April 3d and 24th, May 8th and 22d, June 5th and 19th. Return tickets good for thirty days. I'or further information, circu­ lars, etc., address F. A. Millar, Ass't Gen. Pass. A?ent, 63 Clark street, Chicago, III. Pre­ serve this notice for future reference. THE habit of running over boots or shoes oorreeted with Lyon's Patent Heel Stiffenera 5^obsoU W M^K THE LEADING REMEDY. THE TRADE SAYS SO. The Suffering Class Says 80 To The Tnit. ITS VIRTCKS ARK PHENOMENAL. ITS CUKK8 ARK MAKTSXOU8. dhieala Cases SO Tears' Stand lag Cored Permanently. The 8Mb* DruggiM* and Jkatert Ewryteker*. >e Charles A. VatalarCo.. Bafto.. Md. HMa llmtlnmalailumnmHjwnUagforHlhia lUaat it ANYTHING«UC LA the WORLD Blkir HI CaMIjrMia r*n. IkmamE. Addma, Tula a Co., Atcuua, MUM. HUUK study. Secure aiiusiness Education brmaB from BaXAMT'a Business COLXJCOK, BufTalo, N .X. MENTION THIS rtPIH 1 imn «v uninun. CI OLD is worth S300 per pound, Milt's Eye Salve SSU000, but is aold at SB cents a bo* by dealers. MOO-ION THIS rarsa PBHBXO LAWTKM YMS PARSA PI £ 0 S C 'J R F FOR C 0 N S U M PTI 0 N r.Mleh » aa****# Be sure to get Hood's Sanaaerllla. my child. See tiut they do not give yon anything etae. Ton remem- ber it ia tha medicine which did mamma as much good a year age-so lettable, beneficial, pleeaant to take--my favorite aprtns "medicine. Haiij every­ body needs artUab . _ expel theHapTilWaa wbh* hare stcamufcWi fcN Wood daring tbe winter, to keep ap alw--ihsa l warn weeifeer coatee aa. cnS> aa ass»Sta aad p mote healthy Siaaatlnn. Try Beoge Sanaa artlfa«fc apriag and yaa will be etanfoeed that H does faaaiis superior aad letaBa • aril. A Good Appetite •When I began taking Beodt SuaaSMUa I • diuy ia tbe morning, had a headache, aad ao ap­ petite ; bat now I can hardly to eat." KMVA SmrAan, 1 Coral Street. Worceatet. Mass. "Last spring my whole family took Hood's gates* parilla. The result la that all have scrofula, my little boy betn^ entirely fi and all four of my rhildrett loak 1 aa poaeQdy can be. I parilla good Cor < City, X.J. Hood's Sarsaparilla tsU by droggiats. ft; six for $5. Prepared only hy C. I. HOOD A CO., Apothecaries, Lowell. IOO Doses One Dollar Sold by all droggiata. ft; aixforl bar C. t, HOOD ft CO. Apotheceriee. bnratt, M too Do-- Ono Dollar $300 in Cold wm be titn to the firs* I UMqaeruon: Where ia iaeI correct uuwer will receive it |SI next S. S3 each; neat IS, SS eeefc, aadtbe aaxt 1*5, answer enclose SO eeata and we will eead yea (postage prepaid) year < - following articiee: i box of Fina Stationary, | Lsstaa* took, 1 Pockat Book, 1 Oanfa Sil geelt, 1 Standard Novat, . Binding. (Send for list of books.) To iatredaee oar ceede into eea nou«t u MMMible we make tbe above liberal offer wMck will beidaaed : ,. . .. . .... ,,M«y SO, 188S. Memea and addressee ot tbe Sns ISO panaaa, aadeaaa petd to them, will be mailed to all coaMwtttorv June 5ta. Remit by »o«t»lno»».rtl»erorat^ Address. NATIONAL BOOK AND STATIONARY CO.. flRanMpli St., I The BEST aad NEWEST Chrysanthesrams, GeraaisaM •art tha awst reliable FLOWER & VEGETABLE SEEDS Carefully examine tht« Special eg«r. 1 Das. newest and choicest whereJB3 to |i. 1 Dos. cream of the new CHR YSANTHBMU $§ to 83. 1 Das. newest OK RAN II' MS. novelties of tbe season, and VEGETABLE MKED8, we send one paper each of fancy Pa Aatare, Cockscomb, Papains. Hallyhaeka and S papers or aas< set ot TegeiMia Ganwa weoda. 40 papere for §1. No old aeeds, Illaatrated Catalecae with full inatructlons how to grow Plants i wry thla list far the Beet Plaata, Soede and MBIvAajBI a Bnlbe. AddMee. mentioning this paper, wlal I wflBelals PSUCKER w*m& 1 with Dit FTBOT* fUDl ViRK. »"rti ELY'S CREAM BALM Is the best remedy .for dUUren suffering from COLD in HEAD, SNUFFLES oa CATARRH. Apply Balm into each noatril. KI.Y BROS., nt Orwnwtch St., N. T. $93 SBWins HacMnBFreB! wmat MI P«noa in •v«r? villa**, Uwa townikh, ta fcaapin tbair fcoaaoa A UM of our AKT 0AMVLU; totkoM wb« will kwp aaitimplTahowtluwaaaMplaatetfcoac whoetill, ivt will arnd, vo«7 C-ianuCB. icrrd in tha wortd, wtth all tha attartanoat*. Xhh machine is mads After the Swhich htMlipM. ftafcte the nut Oil!, thl> rtyle BM«Mb*, with the ausrhm«n», aa »..!d for SKI) it now Mils fcr SW. Keedtr, itmavarrm to vou thr meat WONDLBFI'L THING ON K.un tl, but v ..<> on *vurc one at til Me skachisM ABSOLUTBLY FRF.E, |)rovidc4 e| pli.atioB eomw in ant, Asm year IMSI'IV, anU if you will keri> ia vcur home ud «how te thMe wfce call, a act of our t'.efmm and ua- eqmlad art aamplM. Wedenst sak yon to (haw Uma CANCER »lw far mm than two aeatha, awl Ike* (kwlmn year own aroaaity. Tka art aan>plM era sent te yea AMOltmf KRKti efcMi. How can we So all thii? mi IT tneu*fc! W« oAm get a* much aa S3.OS0 or #S,CW> in trade Son «eu a tnall fdace* after oar aHaaaiplM Save remained when they Maid be seen ft>r a Montfc ec two. We need eae penon Is eoeh lecallty.al! erer the eoentry, aad take thla nieeaa of imiiiai than at enre. These whe write te u« at once, will aecan, raaa, the my bcrt Sewing Marhiae manuftirtaml, and the Soaat poeil as»rt- tnerit ef work« ef hifh art e»« ehowe together It America. All particular*FRP.fc by return null. Write at once; a fmtal caid on wliirli to rile to w* will coat TON but one ceut, and aftrr voa know all , nhoiiM you ronrlutla to*o no further, vrby no Ixann ia 4ooa. Wondfrful a* it tetma; you nerd »to ra]»ir.J --nil istvea. AAlrtaaat euca. Till U&iu, Au.i'au, Uaxma. Treated and cured wfthnnt the knife. Book on treatment sent tree. Ad dies* F. L POND, M. U , Aurora, Kane Co.,111. AAI nimC1 all set Penslone. if '» dlsv ^?||| a lip K\ blfri ; OlttrerH' trawl pay, AwbUllallW bounty collcou*); Deserters W relli'vort; pneress or no fop. Idiwi st-nt free. |L> W. XeQormi^Jc ft Boa. Weftbiavto**. D. c. *• i inri«uni.a •mmm aaj% Dr. Wilhams'Indian Pile Ointment • 111 la a sure cure tor blind,bleeding or I'll ^^ltchinR i>il«». (Hire iruarantead. • |hhwPri(¥li(V- ami $1. At dnireiet's or mailed uy WILLIAMS MlXi. CO., ClevelaccL O. EXCURSIONS at oue fare for the round trip will be run iron Ohio, Ind., Mich , IU„ Iowa, Wis., Neb„Itek. aud Minu.to Central and Southwestern Kansas on April 3 and 24. May 8 *inl For infor­ mation, land papers, etc., addrexs M. SOLOMON. 'iSH Bo. Clark 8U Chicago, or J. I. WAKNKK, Ottawa, ill. e t C n O G I V E N A W A Y ! A p k ' g V (i II m Mixed Flower aeeda (,V)u kiude). w b Ba mm W with PASK'K FLOIUI, GUIDE, all Every flower-lover delimited. Tell all O. W. PABK. Fannettabunt. Pa. prompt. Thla offer appears but once more. ' ? ms* MB). v MI a R"M or rahber eoat Ike FISH BUKD HUOKtl M rsoor, and will .keep yea dry ia U>e hardest ahaaa tD" aucaaaand take no other. If year SlljtolHtjaa Do you fp«l tell. lantuM, low^Mritad. Bla. Isss, and indescribably miseimbteToothpiiyal. cally and mentally; expertenoe a asaas ot • "sy^ fullness or bloating after eatuurTor of MC«x>fr- - neat," or emptiness of stomacA fa ua mom> log, tongue coated, bitter or mouth. Irregular appetite, dh ' beadaohea, blurred oyenifht," nefore the eye*, ncrvoua pn haustion, irritability r" * -- alteraatins with oh biting, transient pains feet, drowsiness after i disturbed and unrefreahtng indescribable feeling of * incr calamity t Tf you have aQ, «• any considerable of theae aymptoraa, yoa are sufferir tliat most common of American BinouB Dy^paia. or TorpH Urer, anociatad complicated your preater the number and diversity of torn*. No matter what stare it * Dr. Plerce'a OsiAta Madleal will subdue it, if taken aooorAng to dlNKK tions for a reasonable length of time. If Mi cured, compliootiona multiply and Oc tion of the Lungs, Sido Diaeaaee, Heart DiamaU ' a Hheumatism, Kidney IHarwar. or other e quite ltehle to set in aad,i 'A/J cialadiea ore quite : for 2 Rtamps, your friends. MENTS WANTED MAWS'ffig PAaTERNB. tor makin« Bnaa, Tldlea, Caps. Mittens, etc. Ma­ chine Kent by mall for $1. Send for late reduced prioo-list. E. BOSS & 00.. TOledo. Ohio. DETECTIVES WaaM it ertry SbntlBfi laid «i4erliitr««K«M In oar Soaral Sarrioe. Kxpcri«ai« not IM I--TJ filtUilan frw. Qraaaaa Ostsstlvs Baraaa Co.M ircada.CUsiauU.X Qures-ndprevents Colda, ̂Cougha, •ore Throat, HoarsonoM, •tllf Nook, Bronchitis, Catarrh, Hoadacho, Toothache, Rheumatism, Neuralgia, Asthma, Brulaes, Sprains, thaa wr known remedy, it was the first and is the onlr Pain remedy that insUi.tly stoiis the most excruclatinR pain a. allays inflammation, and ntres Congestions, whether ot the Liiucs. Momacli. Bowel*, or other K'aida or oruaus. No matter how violent or excruciating tlie pain the liheumatic, Bedridden, Infirm. Crippled, Nervous, Neuralgic, or prostrated with diseases may suffer, RADWflY'S READY RELIEF Will Afford Instant Base* < half^ to aje*spoonful in half a tumbler tes cure Cramps, SpsHtna. quicker Internally of water will iu a f w ml Sour Stomach. Nausea, vomiting. JpHsness.^ Sleeplessness, Sick Headache, Colic, Flatulency, and ali internal \ rtburn, NeW Diarrhea, ""ti '••"IREUIJ, BIIU aii internal ptuns. Malaria in its various forms cured and prevented. There is not a remedial agent in tlie world tliatwiU cure foversn<i strue and all other fevers (aided by Badway AI Hlls)I so^uloklyaiiBadwajr's Besdy Keliet „ . Ac.Ht.8 AND P\D8. For liradacbe (whether sick or nervous), toothache, neuralgia, nervousness and Hleei iesanesa. rheuma­ tism. hainbago, pains and weakueaa In th> back, •pine. orlUdneys,jpaiua aroumi the liver, pieurisy, f,?TBL..nK Joints, and pains of all kind*, tlx ai>- ^iuiipn of Badway's Bsa iy Koiief will afford im­ mediate ease, aud ita continued use for a lew days •ff^«P«jm<®eutCtt*a. Prica, 50cents. Soid by JONES n. Sled BemHi lud Inn Be* BeerralteSeale. Fee free price Ita ••sties tkia paper ss4 eiMre<e IMES ar iiiaNSMTti. BINUUAJHTON. M. f. or later, induce a fatal termlnatioa. Dr. #l«rce% Golden He«lei covery seta powerfully upon the [ JJSsI smt through that neat blood-purifyins ornus, cleanses tbe system of all Mood-taints and an-. purities, from whatever cause arfctfar. - It Is. , , . „ equally efflcadous in noting upon the Kid- '.A*,,-' ^-- . . -- neys, and other excretory ornuMk deanataHb strengthening; and healing' thebrAaeiiaes. Am an m>paMriny1 digestion and nutrition, thereby l» both flesh and strength. In ma&ria this wonderful mealalne I restomtire,tonia, it nnmtotes; 1 '/'• rtte oelebrit: Fever, Dumb _ Pr, Flerce*a eovery CURES ALL liim influence. EspedaUy its potency in curing Tel >elas, Boils, Osrbuntdes, SON Tetter, Wfraema .̂ from a common Blotch, or wmat Scrofula. Satt-rheur . Scaly or Rough BUn, in abort, alt , oaused by baa Mood an oaoqoersd by thii * powerful, purifying, and I " ** oine. * Great Eating Ulcers ; its benign tested its , Rrysipelas, Boils, ulous Sores and Swetlii "White Swelllnas," G« snd Enlarged ulandai. -- , stamps for a large Treatise, with plates, on Skin Diseases, or the anna an , . for a Treatise on Scrofulous Afltoctioaa. . . /. "FOR THE BLOOO W TMK UFNE.** Thrtroiighly cleanse it by using Jaw, • 'if". Golden medical Maeoverjr,. and goad.,.. ** dlgeetion, a fair skin, buoyant spirtts, vital) f ̂' strength and bodily health will be eatiSisbed ̂ ' %•,: CONSUMPTION, ,-i' which is scrotal* oftke Iiaaask Is aiieated - and cured by thia remedy, if mken la earlier stages of the jUasase.. BM IIU»,£ ̂ VOIOUH power over this terrttriy fatal MstaiMw ' - vv when first otfering this now worW-famed rem- < edy to the public. Dr. Pieroe thought aerioualjr ., -f . of calling it his " CoasuMTOOK Ccns;" b«* ; - * '• abandoned thst name aa too reetrictire fnr a medicine whksh, from ita wonderful eom» bination of tonie, or strenathening, alterativ% ,, or blood-cleansing, anti-tnlioua, pectoral, an • ' , • nutritive properties, is unequaled. not onlr as H remedy for Conaumption, but for all •, v .̂. Chronic llsiwet of the Liver, Blood, and Lungs. For Weak Lungs, Spitting of Blood, Short­ ness of Breath, Chronic Nasal Catarrh, Bron­ chitis, Asthmn, Severe Coughs, and kindred affections, it is an efficient remedy. Sold by Druggists, st $1.00, or Six Bottles foriSO®. £w~ Send ten cents in stamps for Dr. Pierce's book on Consumption. Address, •Brill's Dispmiqf 663 nalu SU, BUFFAJLO, If. K. VAIIHfi MBII Learn Telegraphy here and «• W "WaQ IWIEMa will help you to (food positions^ Address American sciiool of T. letrraph: "" MENTION THIS PAFKH M*" isim.Wia" . HVBeTMUM. Price aScrs. SSTHVIe rteatowo, X.*m. I CURE FITS.! When I aay ears I do not mean merely to stop tnem for a time and then have them return again. Imean a radii-al cure. I have made the dlseaae of FITS. EPI- or FALLING SICKNESS a lite Ions atndy. I warrant my remedy to cure tha worst casea. Because others tiave failed ia no reason for not no w receiving a care. 8end at once for a treatise snd a Free Bottle of Sy infallible remedy. Give Exprasa and Poet OlBoe. . Q. BOOT, M. C.. 183 Pwarl St.. Now York. ~~ $ss cmvp ®oiu THIS IS THK CHAT "OHIO" TUBULM WELL AND PROSfCCTIIfi lICHliE HM far swMssdinc whare attm hare failed. SELF CLURINI. Ml MMHltH Urn* . •testa. Calalsfas rtCt. LOOHSI1TUI T*ma, OHIO. KIDDEir8HI8Tllli8.gr' ••••••••••••••Cbarlaa MLN'UON Ilti> fAft.lt «h.» WKITIP QHJJ5gg|5H0TGUil | J sw'ioai.s IH*P>Cf CilftlotR* nf (turn. Hiffot, HrrohfTI, Mk» Uluil k. J«MI P. LOTIXK. 1U, IMMIH tb»toiii IKML Well Drills Foa Bvcnv Pmtaoax SOLD ON TRIAL. Investment small, prof­ its i arcre. fetnid dik'.tor ; m a i l i n g hartce Illus­ trated Cata­ logue with. particulars. Maaafactared by GOULDS & AUSTIN* * t«9 LAKE 8T. OO. XLIOVOXS. C.N. 0. I prescribe aad fall yea* dorse BJ<t O as U»e only Bpecttlc for the certain oaia of thia disease. G. H. INGRAM AM. SI. J^t Aai»t« rvlam. N. T. TTe have aoM 6 fo*- many years, ads taa< K given the Mat at ssUa- M.W. , It-n* WHIEH WK1T1IWI TO. APTKKT1KKSS* JrjgMMMair }sa saw tka a^varttaMMaf 'Hi

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