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>«&<£] , »• that rWdoii i j*t_ l to live what Cb*tatt»«U i Up thar inUwoltar., , llimlly don't '211% mtetta' - |®re the comfort ?» for a&r aw* l WsJ&iq'hot bricks and aauiM»Mb, B' «H]byili himself as he pays ho on, Up thar in the city. (It's kinder lonesome mobbe you 11 M -A-livin'out here day after day, ' ; ll this kirnler oasy^ careless way, * Hut a hour out hero is better'n a day mem* W*: Up tharin the city. I fer that, just look at the nowofs «wwA s* • •-peepic' their heads up all over the grotta',' J An tire fruit a-bondin' the trees way down, *SHm doWf Had Buch things as these in towflL^ Or ruther in the city. ¥ JkM I said afore, such things as thaws* , # .rf The flowers, the birds, an' the bumlebeas. An' a-livin' out here amoug the trews, 'Where you can take your ease and do m you please, * Makes it better'n the city. JNow, all the talk don't mount to >muff, '"Bout this kind of life beiu' rough, *: • >»; An' I'm sure it's plenty good enough, ^ i ^MlV 'twMn you an me, taint half a»toag£ 5 -* •••S4""-4-- As lit in in the citv. A LOST WILL RECOVERED. t, Strange Story of a "WlU? * • » • v m , „ , BY ERNEST LANWMI. itfofuHSg ago I asked an " The ft ola lawyer result (or his opinion of ghosts. was as follows: *Do I believe in spirits? "Well, yes, W&en tliev are contained in bottles and «ome from a well-known firm. But ghosts! Why! Do you think that I am « Spiritualist ? Nonsense!" "So you don't believe in ghosts and spooks ? You have never had any re­ markable experience?" "Hold on there! Now that you seem •determined that I shall commit myself, and probably having heard that I have « ghost story to tell, I will satisfy you; trat let me remark before commencing that the story I am about tb tell is Ood's truth, and as such must be re­ ceived. Scoff at it but once, and I shall atop in the middle of my story. Yes, I do believe in ghosts, or, at least in some strange natural phenomena that the world has called ghostlv for the last 1,800 years or more. Now listen: "It was the latter part of 1876 that I vutjlertook a case for a voung woman. It was for a divorce. She was the daughter of my aged client, Dr. Baxter, * man who could have raised $500,000 in hard cash in twenty-four hours. The case was somewhat remarkable. Annie Baxter had married a stock broker named Thomas Thorne, against her father's wishes. Her husband, she aoon discovered, had married her chiefly tor what he could get out of her father, who he hoped, would soon get over his displeasure and forgive his daughter's disobedience; but the old doctor was stubborn and did not relent. He re­ fused to see Annie and forbade the men­ tion of her name by any of his House­ hold, Thorne, on finding that he could «ot get hold of any of the doctor's money, soon tired of Annie; and Annie, who had been a spoiled and petted •child, brought up in the lap of luxury, became miserable and in want. . But she stood her sorrows with heroism, «nd not a complaint escaped her till "Thorne began to drink and gamble, *t times not returning for weeks to his home, and then under the influ­ ence of liquor. She was obliged to earn her own living, and when her child was. born she had to go to one of our large free hospitals for care and atten­ tion. It is doubtful if her father would have let her go had he known her con­ dition, for he still loved his daughter; trat she did not let him know, and one day while making his rounds in the ma­ ternity ward of the B. Hospital, to which he was a physician, his attention was called to a woman who had fainted. Be went to her bedside. It was Annie, his daughter, who, not expecting to see him, had been greatly shocked. She did not know of his connection with the •hospital. The doctor's kind heart was 'Softened at once. He was greatlv •moved. He had her carried in an am- •bolance to her old home under his roof. Be had forgiven her. Just about this lime Thorne was arrested in a bad house, where he was raising a row, and •ent to the Island for six weeks. Annie 4hen placed her petition for divorce in any hands, and my connection with the •case commenced. The divorce was ob­ tained with ease, as Thorne made no answer to the complaint, and the case was perfectly clear in our favor. Now begins the ghostly part. Dr. Baxter •owned a small yacht, in which he was accustomed to make short excursions •bout New York Bay and Long Island 8ound. On the last excursion of any hind he ever made the yacht capsized in a squall and the doctor was drowned, -every one else being rescued alive. -After the funeral the doctor's will was looked for. It was known that he 'made a will at the time of Annie's mar­ riage, leaving all his property to his •aster on the condition that Annie could have $000 a year from the estate during her life. After father and daughter •fcefcaase reconciled he told me he in­ tended to make a new will and leave his property chiefly to her, but the only "will that could be found after his death "Was the former, and his sister, Mrs. J., wefuaectto waive her rights under the will "In the least. By my advice Annie -asked her to make a proper compro­ mise, but she refused to do anything more than stand by the will. "Almost a year had passed, when one •day I received a note from Annie asking •me to call on her at the Gilsey House, where she was staying a few days, on 'business of the utmost importance. On going there she told me a strange story, •no strange that I feared she had lost her mental balance, but I saw she was per­ fectly earnest about it. 'A few nights ago,' said she, 'while I was sitting with my little boy by the fire in my room, at mahout 10 o'clock in the evening, there toeing no other light than that of the fire in the room, I heard -* strange, noise. Then the door opened ----and closed. I looked around, much aurprised at receiving such a late vis- ®"i especially as he came without .knocking. But my first surprise was lost in the terror and dismay that came over me as I saw enter and approach my chair--who do vou think? My father! or his ghost! As I knew he had taw dead over a year, you may imagine! -«ay feelings. He came directly toward WO®, -casting his ulster overcoat off on a •oliair, as he used to do when he came home late. "Annie," said he, putting •his hand to my head and stroking my have come to see you righted. lYim «pe suffering from a most unnat- ural&W mid crime. Your aunt stole ~wqr ]||t -will. As I had promised you I made-you my heir--and my only lleir-- will was drawn by my own and executed three months before aunt, in whom I firmly i one of-the witnesses. Dr. "iriajp Vent to China before my death, aed^tw still. was another. ' I am •SSSTMBL**S<? Y<» YOUR NGHTS, thstaghPeon no longer mthefl«h,aud toe assured that! dan seeyou through. The lostwill ii In your aunt1!! bureau- drawer, in tHe bed-room, on the second floor of our old house--the ebony bureau. You will find the will under the pkper on the bottom of the drawer. And this is the Way for you to obtain it: Go to your lawyer and tell him what I have told you. Ask him to go with you to call on your aunt. As usual she will receive you kindlv. She will be m the library. Go at about dusk on Wednes­ day evening, the 10th, and while she is talking to you I will appear and carry out the rest of the plan." Then the doctor put on his coat again, and kissed my baby and myself in the most affec­ tionate manner--quite as though he were alive--and started to go, but be­ fore he had reached the door his form melted into air and shadow. He had disappeared!' "On hearing this strange ghost story I sat still for a few moments and re­ flected ; then I resolved to see it through. Accordingly, on Wednesday, at the time indicated, I found myself sitting with Annie Thorne in her aunt's library. Her aunt was very kind and genial, but did not offer to have the gas lighted-- perhaps she thought we would stay longer. We talked about having the $600 annuity cashed; such we pretended was the object of our visit. At last the old lady said: 'We may as well have a light; don't you think so ?'" " 'No, I don't' said a solemn and fa­ miliar voice, and a dusky form crossed the room and stood before the great fire; remarkable to say, the firelight shone sheer through his legs. I felt my hair raise. I was greatly frightened. As to the old lady she gave a wild shriek and sank back ii^ her chair. 'Delia!' said the ghost, for such it surely was, 'stop your nonsense. Are you not ashamed to cheat my child as you have done ? Here you have disturbed my rest in my grave by your dishonesty.' By this time the ghost had w alked out into the middle of the room, where he could be seen pretty well by the firelight. The form and face were perfect. It was Dr. Baxter, beyond doubt. 'Woman,' said he, continuing his speech, and now pointing his long, bony finger at the old lady, 'had you not gold enough without taking Annie's birthright ? Get up and come with us!' So saying, he motioned me to open the door, which I did. Then leading, he made us all follow him up-stairs; or, rather, he drew ua along by some strange magnetic force until we reached the door of the cham­ ber occupied by the old lady. Here he stopped and, addressing her, said, 'Delia, open that door.' She obeyed at once. We all entered. 'Now get that lost will of mine out of your drawer at once and give it to the lawyer, Mr. C.' Strange to say, she went at once to her bureaus drawer, and, after raising things about a little, brought out the will and handed it to me. 'Now, Mr. C.,'said the ghost, 'make out an affidavit that this will having been mislaid, has just by chance been found.' I did so as best I could in the semi-darkness. 'Delia, sign that paper,' said the ghost, 'and to­ morrow you will swear before a notary that it is true, or I will go there with you and make you do so later on. That is all for the present,' said the ghost, and we all returned to the library. When we reached there the ghost was gone--no one knew where. The old lady was so much horrified that she fainted, and we left her in the care of her servants. We had recovered the lost will. 'To establish the validity of the will was not difficult, and Mrs. Thorne was soon in the possession of her rights. Such is my story, and I again affirm that it is true. The names are changed to avoid offense to the persons who figured in the story, which is the only change made." A LIFE FOR A LIFE. Brooks, Alias Maxwell, Expiates Hit Crime Upon tM> Scaffold. •i w Hii Last Moments--Story of tho Crime-- 7 t Farewell with Mother and aa y "si mj ? [St Louis (Mo.) special.! Hugh M. Brooks, alias Maxwell, was hariged In this city Friday, Aug. 10, at 9:03 o'clock, th» ex­ ecution taking place in the presense pf few per­ sons. The hour of execution had been deferred from 6 until 9:02, and this brief respite en­ couraged Maxwell to believe that the Biitish Government would in some way come to his re­ lief. But not so. At 8:47 Bherifl Harrington, preceded by a <>etail of police, entered the iimer yard of the jail and tha Sheriff entered Maxwell's odll, where he had been placed, and announced that the final moment had ai rived. MaxwPll paled and pulled his fingers nerv­ ously. When the death-warrant was read he stood up and heard his doom calmly, though he was plainly growiug Weaker all the time. While IE YOU EAGER V "* k Hi"-"' M'-i "( 4' JOHN I ./4AKTIK CCUMSCk *** imNWNT MAXWELL-MUI Getting Justice fn Swiliiifctfe& Lee Merriweather relates a very using and yet annoying experience ich he had'ill Switzerland in at- Impting to obtain justice. He says that hile taking a stroll early one morning, stopped at one of the numerous all inns and ordered a glass of milk. !ool, sweet milk," he said to the iter, as otherwise they bring, as a tter of course, either hot or sour , two favorite ways of taking milk ong the Germans. To my surprise-' waiter brought a pitcher of boiling milk. repeated my order for a glass of cold k. The waiter said he had none. I «e to go. & What!" he exclaimed, "you will not , ly?" and without waiting for a reply, .. J snatched my hat from mv head anil Mil© qve it jo the proprietor, who at that who £0?>ment entered. and donjt looked at them with a sort of ad- ration. Never had 1 seen such pure mrance; never men with so free-and- >y a method of collecting payment goods neither ordered nor usecL ' Gazing some moments at the good- ured host and his waiter, I took wn his name and number, and re­ ed, bare-headed, to the police sta- n. There I related my story. Tho -cers consulted, and finally decided IiftrsraiiJj matter was not within their juris- doilars ption. winter they said, "to the Freidens- storekcillter"' (peace justice.) fit - (' jp-*10. Friedensrichter was a grave, tyts ll Pfid-headed man. As I was about to get tha|Ue my case, the learned man raised Nowfs hand and bade me stop. [ can ,lfD° y°u not know," he asked, "that look uiJr *ee must be paid?" '"But, sir, I have a charge of assault make. Must I pay for notifying an Now ovont is our wai , •Wit, be ope and c: 1? his arms were being pinioned Maxwell bit his lower lip and gasped several times. The pro­ cession to the scaffold was then formed, Father Tihan walking by Maxwell, preceded by Sheriff Harrington and deputies, ana fol­ lowed by the police, reporters, and wit­ nesses. As Maxwell passed through the inner yard he walked firmly but slowly. There was a wonderful change from the apparently unconcerned man puffing a cigarrtte and tho one en route to his death. His face looked pinched and drawn, of ashen hue, and his eyes were swollen. He glanced about him piteously, his lips twitching, and his appearance was calcu­ lated to awaken the pity of even those who were firmly convinced he ought to die. Why He Didn't Meet *%follo!" "Hello!" "Is this Miss Bond?" A "Yes, sir. Who are you?" "One#of your friends. Where can I meet you ?" "Right here, sir, at my home." "All right. Come down to the corner of Lincoln and Brainard streets. I'll be there in fifteen minutes and will walk home with you." The above conversation took place one evening last week. Miss Bond had been annoyed several times by this anonymous conversationalist. She was glad of the opportunity to see him. In five minutes' time she was seated in the parlor of a friend whose windows overlooked the corner of Lincoln and Brainard streets. A party of merry young people surrounded her as she sat back and watched. In a short time a pretty young man with a weak,inoffensive face and the ghost of a mustache appeared and stationed himself on the corner. He had a cigar in his dainty mouth, and twirled a ten- cent cane in his gloved hands. He watched and waited for thee, love, about two hours, before it dawned upon his enfeebled intellect tliat young ladies who think anything of themselves do not meet strangers on street corners. Then he flung away his dead cigar and went home with his lost hopes.--De­ troit Free Press. -- ..,..^4 A Japanese Comic Artist* Coming to more modern times a brief glance on the wag of the distant land is in pleasant order. About one hundred and thirty years ago the most famous aitist Japan has ever known was born His name was Hokusai, and of the weird peculiar work of the artists of that won derful country his is said by his coun trymen to have excelled all others. All other artiste confined themselves almost exclusively to lords and ladies of the court, rich dresses and gorgeous sill costumes, with vases and palanquins. But Hokusai made a new departure He gave himself up to humor. He opened a studio in Yeddo in 1810, ami labored steadily until 1849. He has left many books of sketches, and thi re­ sults of numerous trips are left in illus­ trated albums. His favorite study was the horse. One of his drawings repre­ sents a horse with his hindlegs wildly waving in the air, while a young woman stands on the lariat which had been trailing behind him as he ran. ,. The scene is supposed to be laid in Kaidzu, a little village on Lake Biwa. The young woman, named Kaneko, is noted for her strength. In stopping the runaway she simply stepped on the lariat and the horse's further flight was at once checked. Hokusai is dead, but his pictures are still held among his countrymen as examples of perfection in aid.--Globe-Democrat. JpST before selling the furniture of an old lady at Ryde, England, the ex­ ecutor examined an ancient bureau and discovered a secret drawer in which werb upward of 1,000 sovereign*, oloiiely packed. - HIS DEATH A HARD ONI. life Pronounced Extinct After Fourteen Minutes--The Lsit Scenes. "there was no time lost In reaching the scaf­ fold, which the condemned ascended without assistance. Maxwell was placed under the noose next Twelfth street. Father Tihan read prayers. Maxwell was then asked if he had any­ thing to say, and in an almost inau­ dible tone responded, "No." There was an awful look of despair on Maxwell's face as the black cap hid it from view, and his knees showed weakness. The noose was adjusted, quickly, and at 9:02 the drop fell. When Maxwell fell his breast heaved convnl- tively, and his limbs were drawn upward, while the spectators were shocked by a stream of Llood pouring down the right breast of his coat, Which was afterward found to have been caused 3>y a cut on the nose inflicted by the rope in fome mysterious way. Maxwell's struggles continued few fourteen ininutea, when he was proiiounced dead by the attending physicians. Maxwell was cut down at 8:1 r>. The body was removed to tne morgue office and photographed, after which the post­ mortem was commenced. It was Btatod bf thp physicians that the neck was broken. * I'OR ass; Iti had plol X spe wit ber STORY OF THE CRIMB. ; Narrative of the mysterious Preller MuMer for Which Maxwell linDg, 9Sogb Mottram Brooks, when he disappeared nearly four years ago from his home in bunny- bank, England, bent upon seeing the world, changed his name to Walter Horace Lenox Max­ well, and it was as Maxwell the murderer, that the w< rid heard of him. At Liverpool he fell in with Charles Arthur Preller, a refined young man who was traveling for a London firm of upholsterers, and the two sailed for America together and became close friends. Maxwell had very little mouey, while Preller was provided with upwards of $1,000 with which to meet his expenses. After a Btay in the East ttre young men temporarily separated, but kept up a regular c srrespondence, and early in April, 18cJ5, they were together again at the Southern Hotel at Ht. Louis. They arranged to go to Australia, and told many people about the hotel of their plana. On Sunday, April 6, 1885, they were seen in room 144 by a hall-boy whom they had called, but Preller was never seen alive again. Maxwell came down to supper alone, and the next day. after he had expended several liundro 1 dollars for clothing in which to disguise himself and for numerous fancy arti­ cles for whic.i he had no need, he started alone for San Francisco. For several days prior to Tuesday, April 14, chambermaids had noticed an unpleasant odor coming from room 144, in the Southern Hotel. On that day an investigation was made. Two trunks had been left in the room and they were opened. When the lock of the larger waB broken the cover sprang up, followed by the knees of a man. Crammed into the trunk, putrid und swollen, was the body of Charles Arthur Preller. He had been murdered with chloroform. Maxwell was now on his way to New Zealand, but he had talked so recklessly and had spent his stolen money so lavishly that he had blazed his way and detectives easily hunted him down. He was arrested at Auckland, 8,500 miles from the crime, and after extradition proceed­ ings the officers brought him back to St. Louis, where he was lodged in prison on Aug. 15--four months after the dis­ covery of the foul deed. He was put on trial in the St. Louis Criminal Court on Aug. 10, 1886. Judge Ashlev C. Clover, the State's Attorney, conducted the case for the prosecution, while the accused was ably aefcuded by John I. Martin, one of the ablest criminal law­ yers in Missouri. The result was a ver­ dict of guilty and a sentence to death. An ap­ peal to the Supreme Court of Missouri was in v^in, and the United States Supreme Court re­ fused to interfere. Maxwell's defense was that the killing was accidental. He claimed that Preller was suffering from a stricture and had cr and Belling for Cash reii» ny advantages over the pra of long credit, loncins no sleepless nights, no he* ?ills for the merchant and refunds at very lowest prices «>«!mer. ly, f agreed to an operation under the influence of chloroform. The chloroform being unskillfully administered caused death. The case was token before Gov. Morehouse of Missouri a sec­ ond time. The Governor refused to commute ths death sentence to life imprisonment, but granted a respite of thirty days. BELATim SAY FAREWELL. How Maxwell Received the Governor's De­ cision--He Bids His Mother and Sister Farewell. The news of the Governor's final refusal to in­ terfere was conveyed to the condemned man by his confessor, Father Tihan. Maxwell blanched and his lip < trembled, but he soon recovered After the departure or the priest a telegram an­ nouncing his fate wua handed to Maxwell by a deputy. He read the message Blowly, folded it carefully and placed it in his pocket. Then followed a pathetic scene. Mrs. Brooks, mother of the con­ demned, and Mifts Brooks, his sister had learned of the result. They were permitted to go within the screen to meet the son and brother When they reached the cell Mrs. Brooks rushed into Maxwell's arms and embraced him warmly kissing him twice and crying out: "oh, my poor hunted boy." Then the sister embraced her doomed brother. Both ladies were in tears but endeavoring to hide their emotion. Maxwell was deeply affected uDd for a time lost control of hinself, but soon rallied and presented on un- dis brbed exte iqr. He said he would have liked to hEvb seen his father before he died. "This is judicial murder," said Mrs. Brooks addressing the Deputy Sheriff. "Evsrfhody e as eager t o make money dy ought to be, and you be as eager to save it u c.in. We bay the best e market affords, for cash are prepared to offer spou you at a slight advance wnl: original cost, for Cash, will save moneyjby it, woul ani declare mjTmnocense1 of" "murder. 1 think, in all the annals of criminul juris­ prudence, a trial could be found that was a greater , parody and travesty on jus­ tice than mine was. I have, however, one gm*t consolation, that neither Circuit Attorney Clover, the Missouri Supreme Court, nor Gov. Morehouse can take away from me, and that is the fact that although I have been denied justice by them all, I am about to appear before a God who is both just and merciful, and I pray that he will show himself merciful to those who have not only shown no mercy to me lmt even denied me justice. Yours very truly, *** HUGH M. BROOKS. THE oldest newspaper in the whole wide world is the King-Pan, or Capi­ tal Sheet, published in Pekin. It first appeared A. D. 911, but came out ©uly at irregular intervals. Since the year 1351, however, it has been published weekly and of uniform size. Now it appears in three editions daily, ' V. WHY toll fire alarmjtalls when a MAN dies?--Boston Commonwealth. with ot icer of a breach of the peace?" crush if You must. The fee is two and a If francs." This was odd. I wanted light on the t>ject, and requested the address of a vyer. The Friedensrichter gave me Half an hour later I knocked at j door of the man of law, only to learn .t he was away serving his annual ee weeks in the army. The maid, ever, told me of another lawyer, 1 he, upon a payment of a fee for le- services, told me the law was upon milkman's side, but that I could go he " Gerichtprasident" if I desired her information. went to the Gerichtprasident. He, said the law was with the hot-milk . • Then I went to ' the rascally 'dlord. ' , I pay you," I said, banding him the B*ney and taking my hat; "I pay you, 1 for the milk I did not order and did m but for the information you Stv&iSr 6 keen the means of my acquiring." ' What information ?" That a stranger may be assaulted e without redress." The churl laughed scornfully; but I T it even with him. My first act on v ™ iching German territory was to send V el vet the polite Swiss landlord a large pack- Ornani e by express; the charges, about one VV o ar#lftr and forty cents, I did not prepay, lere was nothing in the package ex- pting a lot of sawdust, and a sheet of Good Iper with this single line: 'Zum Andenken an den Mann dessen it Sie gestohlen haben"--Souvenir of , 3 man whose hat you stole.--Youth's TR mpanion. - >• ; 0m Repairing a Broken Needle* . ... There lived not very many years agO; hort distance from the town of Beaver, aan of extraordinary meanness. I i't think it would be unjust to say f ^ | it he was a miser. Most of you V/ JL4ild enjoy the story more if I gave Trad/. name- But I won't do it. . - ' ?)ne day as he was starting out for lSiactordver ,j0 jjjj, weekly shopping, for stock Ojn he had to buy something for the week, -port of his family, his wife came out and \o&\ ^ked him to buy her a darning get pos'What,s matter with the. one I ght you last winter?" The eye's broken out," she replied. Bring the needle here," said he. n not going to allow any such ex- /agance. I'll have the needle |ided." * he woman was wise in her genera- , and made no protest. She brought the broken needle. he economical farmer rode into tver, and stopped first of all at the ^ksmith's shop. He took out the (die and handed it to the blacksmith, vant that needle mended," he said, 'he blacksmith knew his customer, keeping his face perfectly straight, I that the eye should be made whole >n hour's time. The farmer rode For v7 aQd the blacksmith walked across We'still *8^ree* and bought a new needle for ,, >nt or two. H. r aiyhen the farmer called again the pair. Ibksmith gave him the new needle, f ul I 8too farmer looked at the smooth, pol- ester 1*^ surface of the steel, and remarked mi . Jb it was a good job. p '. fiow much will it be?" said he. lOW prieFen cents," said the blacksmith, and farmer, as he paid it, remarked that IT knew that the needle could be gided, but his wife would have gone >he expense of buying a new one if ladn't interfered.--Pittsburgh Dis- C&mtfih. for both Curious Phase of Deafness, oadges | Jg often said that persons afflicted Our six certain .forms of deafness can hear ford tectly in the midst of a tumult. A motive engineer, upon examination _ _ a medical expert, was found to be li and, although he protested that he jd hear perfectly well while in the Sliiiy he was suspended. Some time rward, having made vain attempts >etter his defect, he applied for re- xS veratement, again urging the fact of warrant perfect hearing while on duty. ; ally, to satisfy him, the physician fO lIPon a locomotive for a distance and put him to every pos- r usf*e test. To the doctor's surprise, he ad him able not only to hear ordinary DtoneWjjj^a -without difficulty, but also to er pots ̂ anguish whispers and faint move- ts that were inaudible to the phy- n.--Boston Post. Relative and Absolute. Small Boy (at his lesson)--Papa, what is the difference between relative and absolute? " Papa--Um~-«~ilet me see; it's, it's-- ..'.""L.j. Small Boy (coming to the rescue)--I guess it's people that's plumb kinfolks and people that ain't quite; ain't that it? Papa--That's it exactly. A man's aunt, for instance, is relative, while his wife is absolute. The father drew a long breath and sent the boy away. -- Washington Critic. A WELL-KNOWN historian has made the discovery that George Washington never danced. There were times in his life when he walked in a dignified way through a minuet. But the Father of Our Country never capered. •' • . .. I mms$. AB "What sort of insane folly ialt tfcat poMKNNMM some of nsat^mea, and makes us save all our odds and ends of merj description under the delusion that they will "come handy" some time. They never do "come handy," but we cling to them with great tenacity instead of hav­ ing the good sense to bestow them on the ash man as his rightful prerogatives. My wife and I have well developed economical tendencies, and we pride ourselves on never wasting a thing may "be useful" or "come handy" at any time in the dim future. I hivve read of men of wealth who traced the beginning of their riches back to tho time when they carefully saved pieces of twine, never cutting it from a bundle, but carefully untying it and laying it away for future use, until they must have had a barrel or two of old twine lying around some place. Once I read of a millionaire who set his fellow-men au example of tlu-ift by get­ ting out of his carriage and picking up a rustv nail he saw by the roadside, and I emulated his example until I had about forty pounds of old, rusty, bent, and broken nails lying around; and about once in six months I used a pound or two of them in trying to find one that I could drive into a board without bending or breaking. At last I sold the whole lot for old iron and got ten cents for them. Then 1 began to reform and the other day I began reforming my wife. , | I was cleaning out the accumulation of «ars in a closet in the basement and piliLg mast of its contents up for the ash man, when my wife came down stairs. "There are some things in that closet I want saved," she said; "they'll come handy some time." But I resolved to be firm. "You don't want this?" I said, hold­ ing up an old tea kettle without any spout, and with six big holes in the bottom. "Well, it might come handy for some­ thing some day." I tossed it into the ash barrel and held up a pair of very old boots dis­ carded four years ago, and now green with mold. "No use in saving these, is there?" I asked. "Well, I don't know. A little piece of leather often comes handy in a house for a hinge or something." I called to mind a pair of leather hinges I once made and the boots fol­ lowed the tea-kettle. "What do you want this rusty old hoopskirt for?" "Oh, a piece of hoopskirt wire often comes in useful in a house." "It hasn't been asked for in this house since before the war," I said. "Here's an old hat of mine that's been lying around nine years. Better throw it away, hadn't I?" "Well, perhaps so. I've often thought of giving it to some poor man but I for­ get it every time a tramp comes around. I gave it to one tramp and he went off and left it on the front gate post." "Showed his good sense," I said. "Do you want all these broken dishes ?" "Yes. Ill have them ' all mended someday. I've intended having it done for five years. When her back was turned they went into the ash barrel. "No use in saving these old bottles, eh?" "Well, a bottle's a handy tiling to have around. Better save them." "My dear," I said, "here are at least seventy-five old bottles, and to my cer­ tain knowledge we don't use one a year, and I think we can trust our great - great - great - great grandchildren to get their own bottles; so hero they go." In the same daring, reckless way I threw away three old bustles, old bon­ nets, breeches, lamps, skillets, hair combings, shoes, saw-dust, tin-pans, old papers, pop-corn, wormy walnuts, soap- grqase, broken lamps, spoutless teapots, bottomless coffee-pots, cracked kettles, and ten thousand other things that had for years and years waited their turn to "come liandy," but which never would or could "come handy" in this world or in the world to come.--Zenas Dane, in Detroit Free Press. TVhat the Lawyer's Boy Said. One of the funny sides of a celebrated case, in which is involved human liberty or a heavy monetary penalty, developed itself in the case of the people against Sylvester Fitzpatrick on Tuesday. The eloquence of Terry, the profundity of Goucher, or the incisiveness of Grady could not impress the jury. They had to have an ocular demonstration of the steer as specified in the charge against Fitzpatrick. Accordingly the judge, jury, and lawyers, accompanied by the usual adjunct of small boys, went to see the steer. Among the boys was Mr. Goucher's, and while the judge looked wise, the jury calm and placid, the lawyers knowing, one little fellow said to Goucher's boy: "Whose steer is that?" The boy, in his juvenile innocence and candor, said: "That's the steer the man stole who my father is defending." It was loud enough for the judge, jury, and lawyers to hear. Senator Goucher heard it and he rose--morally and physically rose--and said: "Allie, go home." The jury smiled. -- Fresno (Cat.) Democrat Uncle Sam's Conscience Fond. Chief Clerk Youmans was speaking on the fidelity and honesty of the em­ ployes of the Government. He alluded to the fact that the large sums of money that passed through their hands and the opportunities afforded them of doing wrong acts were very great temptations. He was much elated over the trifling figures that were lost in times past when compared with the large sums that might have been taken. "The con­ sciences of men," said he, "make them do their duty." "Excuse me," gentlemen, for inter­ rupting you," said a clerk. "What is it?" asked the chief clerk. "Here is a letter containing $1,600 sent by some one in "Washington. The envelope bears the Washington post­ mark. He states in his letter that he owes this amount, and he wants it to be placed in the conscience fund." " What is the amount of the conscience fund, as near as you can judge?" asked the news man of the clerk. "It is now between $300,000 and $400,000."--Baltimore American. THE soul is no traveler; the wise man stays at home, and when his necessities, his duties, on any occasion call him from his house, or into foreign lands, he is at home still, and shall make men sensible by the expression of his coun­ tenance, that he goes the missionary of wisdom and virtue, and visits cities and men like a sovereign, and not like an interloper or a valet.--Emerson. 1 How TO cut a personr--Loo>. dagger ait him.--Fun. TENNIS suits axe in&de loud this season to go with the racquet. -- Yonkers Statesman. THE family skeletons are now on ex­ hibition at the bathing beach.--Mar­ tha.'* Vineyard Herald. A Kiss on the forehead denotes rever­ ence, says an exchange. We have mighty little reverence for a pretty girl.--Boston Courier. OUR idea of a strong-minded person would be one who could read the ad­ vertisement of a patented specific * medicine and yet not have the disease. --Lowell Citizen. HONI SOI, a member of the Japanese royal family, is expected to visit this country soon: His brother, Whod Ya Soi, has been here some time.--Pitts­ burgh Chronicle. A DRYAD, Henrietta, is a wood nymph, and is so called to distinguish her from the naiad, who, as a water nymph, was more of a wetad than a dryad. --Har­ per's Bazar. Ecstatic Daughter--Listen to the or­ chestra, papa. What a faint, sweet melody. Deaf Old Father--Yes--too •faint to get past that big drum.--De­ troit Free Press. "OH, Mrs. S^pith, do please intro­ duce Mr. Jones over there to the!" "It's % no good, dear, he won't dance." "No, I know, but I want to sit out with him; ; he goes with my dress so beautifully."-- London Judy. •, DR. HOLMES says lie writes a poem when he is in a spasmodic mental con­ dition. We wish he would try his hand at a campaign song. All those pub­ lished up to date were written by poets not subject to mental conditions of any sort.--Boston Transcript. A LADY who is the proud possessor of 123 dresses is among the late arrivals at Long Branch. Possibly she intends to wear several of them at a time as a pro­ tection against the Jersey mosquito.-- Pittsburgh Dispatch. Passenger--What's wrong? Brake- man--The train behind us can't slow , up. There'll be an awful collision. Pas­ senger--And 111 be killed. That's just like my luck. 1 was foolish enough to buy a return ticket.--Detroit Free Press. OH, my heart is growing weary and tba worid seems cold and dreary, Since my darling calmly told me that she'd never bo my bride; "But rd have more deeply missed her had she * said she'd be my sister-- That old chestnut would have given me a gnat pain in my side. --Lincoln Journal. " HOT and thirsty gentleman orders a glass of beer. Waiter brings one con­ taining one inch of beer and six inphes of foam. Customer--I ordered lager, waiter, not lather. I don't want a shave--I want a drink of beer.--Boston Beacon. Police Protection. Smith--How do you like your new house in the suburbs ? Jones--The only objection I have to it: is that it is so far to the police station in - * case of burglars. "Why didn't you rent a house near a saloon? You can always > find a policeman hanging around there." *, --.Texas Siftings. ) NOT A USEFUL PROFESSION, "I love you better than my life t* 4 He urged; and she replied, "I KLF^W it, « But I will never be the wife Of any poet." "But think," persisted he, "that 1 Could make you famous by a "I know," said she, "but could yon bay ^ * Me a new bonnet 1" '•" "I love you so!" he softly sighed; * "You know I never would forsake yoa J* "Of course you do," she said, "I've tried My best to make you." "Then tell me why we may not wed, You love me, and your actions show i#.* , , h "I thought I told you why, she said-- ; "You are a poet!" ' --SotnervilU Journal. ' S The Printer's Paradise. tTnder the above title Theodore « 4 De Vinne, the printer of the Century, ; ^ writes for that magazine an account of ; Plantin and his museum at Antwerp, from which we quote as follows: "The printing-room does not give a just idea of its old importance. What here re- ;i mains is as it was in 1576, but the space . then occupied for printing must have been very much larger. Plantin's in­ ventory, taken after his death, showed that he had in Antwerp seventy-three fonts of type, weighing 38,121 pounds. Now seven hand-presses and their tables occupy two sides of the room, and rows of type-cases and stands fill the rem- *• nant of space. How petty these presses seem! How small the impression sur­ face, how rude all the appliances! Yet from these presses came the great *Royal Polyglot,' the Roman Missal, still bright with solid blank and glow- ing red inks, and thousands of volumes, • written by great scholars, many of them enriched with designs by old Flemish masters. 'The man is greater than the machine,' and Plantin was master over his presses. From these uncouth unions of wood and stone, pinned together with bits of iron, he made bis pressmen ex­ tort workmanship which has been the admiration of the world. "Plantin had this work done ai small cost. His account-books show that the ' average yearly earnings of expert com­ positors were 142 florins, and the press- « men 105 florins. The eight-hour law • was unknown. Work began at 5 o'clock t in the morning, but no time is stated for its ending. His rules were hard. One of them was that the compositor who set three words or six letters not in the copy should be fined. Another was the prohibition of all discussions on re­ ligion. Every workman must pay for his entrance a bienvenue of eight sous as drink money, and give two sous to the poor-box. At the end of the month he must give thirty sous to the poor-box and ten sous to his comrades. This bienvenue was as much an English as a Flemish custom, as one may see in Franklin's autobiography. "The presses cost about 50 florin? each. In one of his account-books is the record that he paid 45 florins for copper platens to six of his presses. This is an unexpected discovery. It shows that Plantin knew the value of a hard impression surface, and made use of it three centuries before the printer of the Century tried, as he thought for the first time, the experiment of iron and brass impression surfaces, for In­ elastic impression." r* 't' TT . fcrf ..»*• & Floral Tributes. ̂ > "How beautiful those flowers are!" re­ marked a New York young man to a friend as they walked in Central Park. ~Yes, they remind me of the hair of a young lady acquaintance of mine." **In what way?" "She fastens it on with hairpins. : Don't you catch on?" "I can't see any connection between false hair and those flowers." "You can't, eh? Ain't both of# them lie-locks?"--Texas Siftings. IF thirty-two is the freezing points what-is the squeezing point? fcro 1m the shade.--PucJc. V