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PSWH* i I •*»* * » THE CAT TO DIE. " ' Vt JAKES trtfrTr'OHB , '. I^WByl doB't I ricko!l«c* " * ' lltt taM*I4ti<«ing in tbn lasMC , «t, I expect,] ; <•«§' ? i! _ i't com* back again; >,Kf*tate if they . >bttck, anil I could ~- ,._ |W«py>ick n.i l>t\ 'v jing! feiliw .tftiMr, flunnio the old swing -•**}1- ^#j|«Krtheol(3 locus -trees C I the old place, ef you please, W utaglfn there with Unlf-sbet ev||v',. Waitin' far the oat to die t say, Gimme the old gang * H-*')• * ;• i/OfMiefooted, hungry. lean, WtaYy boys vou w«m to hang . . When you're growed up t*&tlttMMa!' ~ Itrf^lgyftrdeit patch, tlift-old _r.,^ . taut*, "and the stuff we stoledt~ - ' • _>oH StomjHu'-groun'. where < ore the grass off, wild an<i free., . ' swoop of the old awing, '"Where wo uset to climb and clin And twist, roun', and ti£ht>, and li waitin' far the cat to die! -j ? s *J»«arB like I 'most alius could , Swing the highest of the crow<*~ '. jeat sail up there tel I stood f «' '^Downside Tip. nnd screech out II •Ketch m\ breat h, and jes drap 1>r to let the old swing slack, ' Tit my tow-head dippin still " In the green boughs, and the eniH Up my backbone tapcriu down. With my shaddor the gtoua Slow and slower trail in'1>S- •Wftitin' fer the cat, to die! /: lias1 QotaV daughter's lit'tU Jfane'» ind o' baby swing" f * fa tciv jft'ii ". w « wuvu * 4 : . AI;V * #he kih pl»y there--little thing! i ff #id I'd limped out jt'other day, ith my old cheer thi s-a-way, SMiiigin and rockin t oo, 'funking how I uset to do At }urr age, when fcuddeetljrj *224:1 . mi., to Sl0, *Why vou rock so slowSays I, "Waitin' fer the cat to die 1-" '---Marper's Magazine. mm s-' - , - i. • ' ' • W V-> • It had been a long day for the excur- -Zionists at Longview. Two hundred of Lj^ws nsed to teas; but there's no one > a A>Al>u,t frMu^ .. ' . . . .. them had come over at 9 o clock from-* t,|jt,re now. They "went back to the 't he city in the Undine, and had pic- v.i, »icked to their hearts' content at that g|.: riiarming pleasure xesort They had % rowed on the water; they had ridden the flying-horses; the^had thrown ^ Imlls for prizes at the images; they had " 'J "danced in the pavilion to the music of itarpg and violins; bless their dear Iff", young hearts and faces, what had they >fJ not done that was possible and permis- ssible at Longview ? Ah! let it also be ^" * 8 mentioned that tliej had emptied their i^i'i well-filled lunch-baskets, and that sand­ wiches, cold chicken, pickets, cake, etc., ; /v 'were now bat memories inter alia acta - - >f a happy and long-to-be-remembered - act time it starts. I'll wind my watch and set it when we get there." - They went, And they discovered the tlreadful truth. • * S She had never boon, away from home h night in her life, eXcfept wheti visiting her aunt, or at boarding-school, and she Was as timid as she was' good and hand- Bome. The predicament frightened hor. Bhe held her companion by the arm, Jmt was speechless. Had Miss Tartley |een her then she could not have re­ joiced at the "scrape." And the man? He '.v.is rather stunned , but he was try­ ing hard to pull himself together. "Don't you--don't you know--any­ body here--any ladies, I mean?" he Jjieard in the agitated voice of the girl. "To be sure; why didn't I think of it once. The Lorimers have a cottage here; your folks know 'em, you know. HI tell Mrs. Lorimer how it happened; ahe'll take care of you to-night, and 111 go to the hotel." ' O, thank you, Harry; it's real good, of you to think of that. 'I ean't think of anything when I'm so - troubled, and poor ma--O, dear, what will she ever think has become of me ?* "Don't let, that worry you, Etta, Til telegraph tliem all about it," She pressed his arm' *yra$efullyl They Went on in the twilight to a row of Queen Ann& oottages that overlooked the bay from the high ground. Boy." Hnml.'i t.d n, barefooted native who was passing, "here's a quar­ ter for you." & ^ "My eye!--so it is.- You're a gentle­ man--and the lady's another. What, d'ye want,?" ' . "l>o you know anything about ihese cottages?" , v " Lots! I runs errandis and does chores for 'em." "Which is Mrs. Lorimer's?" "That one with the big humpy win- MONTANA'S ABUNDANCE A MAGNIFICENT CLIMA.TK AKX> . A SOIL or UN«URTASSKDmnUTI, •day. Two there were of these youth who •were to have especial cause to remem­ ber this day. They were not now with those of their own home neighborhood, -as preparations were made for their re- •nrn; their absence was the occasion of < certain remarks and comments which do not seem to us to have been entirely just, or uttered in the proper spirit. But the reader must be permitted to overhear them. St had been a long day; the time was 'sow within a few minutes of 6. The prove was almost deserted; the excur­ sionists were streaming down to the boot looking not unlike an .army that had JpMie forth to conquer pleasure, and was retiring somewhat disordered by the "victory. The bay was shining brill­ iantly beneath the declining sun: be- ynnd the grove was the cosy village of Xiowvigw, with its grand hotel in front, "Well filled, -(^hich is the watering-place "vernacular for half filled) with summer visitors. A dozen, more or less, of youths and maiduna still lingered at the skirts of tSie grove. Thus they talked. We •mnnot name all of them, but what they * said may in some cases designate the •Where on earth are they?" •Who?" - "Henrietta and Harold." ""Gone aboard, probably." '"No, indeed they haven't. They went toward the village an hour agd, and I know they haven't come back; they o*mld only come this way, and I've been watching for them." ] ""Well, it's very thoughtless of them. It looks as though they would get left. There's nothing to be seen of them, certainly." "Serve 'em right if they did get left." ""Why, Ella--Miss Tartley--I'm sur­ prised to hear you say so." "Well, you needn't be. If there are two fools anywhere oa earth, they are <fhe average engaged couple. There is never any_ society good enough for them bat their own, and they go spooning round in public in the most ridiculous way." "Surely, Henrietta and Harold don't •ot in thai way. They are very de­ voted " ' "It's easy enough ̂ for them to be. are not to be married till Sep-. " but they are general favorites." "Yea, indeed; it would be hard to find * handsomer or nicer couple." *1 don't care; they're lovers; all en­ gaged folks are. I just hope they'll fpet left. A nice fix they'd be in thenr "How scj? It would only be a matter «f waiting two hours for the regular boat" "I guess not I heard our Captain •ay that the 8 o'clock boat don't come ; over from the city on excursion days." _ "Why, what'll they do? This is get­ ting eerioo*. There are no signs yet---" "There's the whistle! Come along, or well be left, too. Unless some of yoa would like to get into the same acrape." * ^minutes, good measure, passed. Trae Undine, far over the sea, cooldonly be distinguished by a trail of black , •'npke. A youth and a maiden walked ! leisurely from the village into the grove, *ad traversed the latter at no break- axeck speed. They conversed as they wfent. _^hope*m have enjoyed the day, jschl ^indeed I have, Harrv. It was real G°0d of you to ask me to come." i. ,*I ve enjoyed it myself, immensely-- aince you were along." "Of course you'd put that in. But mercy on me, where are they all gone? "There isn't a soul to be seen." The pair came in sight of the bay, ••nd the situation broke upon the young man before he heard Ms companion's last words. He looked at his watch «nd his face was a picture of dismay. ' "O, Harry 1" came in a gasp and a eob. "You said there was plenty of time." "I thought there was. Confound the ' Watch!--it stopped at eleven minutes ' after five, and I only just found it , *«mtw * "O, dear, I feel as though I shirald «cry! What shall we do?" "Now don't worry, Etta. It's unfor- * <4nnate, but f it can't be helped. Still, it's onljr a matter of waiting two hoiirs for the regular boat. Let us rgo up to the ticket office and get the ex- , H ^ - <pr«jut city this mornin'. I've, been a-sweepin' and a-lockin' it" He withdrew, softly whistling "Sw*et Violets." - IV. At Longvfew village lived the Rev. Welcome Bliss, an aged and fatherly minister, with an aged and motherly wife. When the summer population of the place chanced to stray into his humble church of a Sunday they were charmed with the patriarchal manner and gentle doctrine of the preacher. At 9 o'clock of the night in question we should have found our two lost lambs in the minister's parlor, which was well lighted, in honor of the occasion. The scene would have made a tableaux: Henrietta tearful, yet smiling, too; Harold a trifle pale, but bold and proud; and the minister and his wife beaming benignantly upon them. Cake and wine, hardly tasted, were on the table; a ten-dollar note was being lovingly smoothered and patted by the fat fingers of the minister* The servant-girl, called in on the emergency, had retired again. "It's all right, all right, my dear young lady," said the Rev. Bliss, cheerfully. "You have made the best of it in a very sensible fash­ ion; . have done the only^ correct thing, considering all the cir­ cumstances. Ill go out and telegraph the whole affair to your father in my own name, so there!! be no uneasiness; and I'll say youll see him to-morrow. HI send over the certificate in the morning to you; though for that matter you might stay with us over night." "To be sure," said Mrs. Bliss. "Many thanks; but we won't trouble you any further. We can find acommo- dations now." It was Harold said that, v. They walked silently away under the maples, both hearts fluttering with a solemn joy. jl : "It don't seem as if it could be true," she whispered." "It is true," he «>plied. "O Harry! see JH,1 thpfee Hghtfl Ina't that the boat ?" .* • v "No, dear Etta; that is the hold," SMOU'I Graphic Latter DtKrIpUv« «R th« Northwest, Particularly of Montana--Ia- t«r««ti«g Facts OklMd kjr A«ttul Iav«sU- gation. GBKAT FALLS, Montana, Feb. 18,1889s. A man Deed not be very old to remember When CU'.cajro was in tho far West, and a journey beyond tho Mississippi was like go­ ing into a far country. Now a dozen rul- roftda run to the Bo^ky Mountains, and the Paciilo coast is separated from New iTorkas Monday is from Saturday. Lewis and Clarko, whose wonderful tiip in the early years of the century gave the world first knowledge of this vast region, were over a year in reaching this locality, rowing, poling, and pushing their canoes for nearly 8.000 miles against the swift current of the Mis­ souri. Now it takes a day or two in a Manitoba palace car or a free-colonist sleeper to reach here, and no danger or privation and three good meals a day. Most people have been so accustomed to look upon this part of the continent as so far north, so cold, so snowy, so far away-- and a lot of other so-so'tt--that it would probably never be a fit abode for mankind; but the facts show to the contrary. Why, hundreds of miles north of here there is a country with winters no more severe than those of the north New England States, and summers more suitable to the growing of grains. We are separated from that region by the forty-ninth parallel, an imaginary political boundary which nature will not take into account when adjusting affairs in the future. The intermingling of people of the same blood, speech, reiierlon. ideas, and ambitions will obliterate it. Statesmen have foretold it and business interests will hasten it Those who think DAkota and Montana are sections of the arctic region slipped down out of place should look to tho east. The south line of Dakota is the forty-third parallel ol north latitude. Follow this line across the At­ lantic and much of Europe will be" found lying north of it. All of Britain and Nor­ way and Sweden He a full degroe above the northern boundary of our two great Terri­ tories. Edinburgh, St. Petersburg. Stock­ holm. and Christiana, in the midst of a swarming population, are on the parallel of Sitka, Alaska. And Sitka is as far from Great Falls as the Gulf of Mexico. England and the north of Europe are made habitable by the influence of the Gulf Stream. The Kuro-Siwo--the Black Ocean river of the Asiatic coast--or the Japan Current, gives to this northwestern region the same mildness of climato that the Gulf Stream does to Northern Europe, and whv should not this country, like that, be lllled with life and industry*1 Water heated off the coast of Southern Asia sweeps across the Pacific Ocean and tempers the climate of our western coast nearly up to the Arc­ tic Circle. This river of warmth gives to British Columbia. Washington, and Ore­ gon winters so mild that ice is a scarce article, even in Sitka, while roses bloom in the gardens along the coast at Christmas time. Imparting its Heat to the air, which, ascending, passes ov^r the Rocky Mountains much lower here /than in the south, it affects the climate of jn redon larger than the original United Stated. Com­ parisons of temperature made with th^iAt- lantic coast are most favorable to Montana. The rivers of Montan i close later and opon earlier than those of States far south of this parallel. The Missouri River here is clear of ice a month earlier than it Is at Omaha. In^ie light of existina: knowledge who will say That up to the 60th parallel in this north­ west Js not as capablo of being settled as Russia unl Norway and Sweden south of that line? °M nice at the physical features of this portion of the continent and one will see a great plain sloping northward. It is the latit/udc of the continental water system. Nofldiere else in the world is there such a succefcsiaa^f-fakes and navigable rivers; no other country possesses such an area, of agricultural land so intersected by fresh water. Within a radius of 1,000 miles is half tho fresh water of the globe. At Grand Folks, Bakoia, tne Red River is less than 1,000 feet above the sea. Follow the river to its mouth. Lake Winnepeg, and it has descended 300 feet, and in a boat one can steam westward on the Saskatchawan more than ' 1,000 miles, and then double the distance on other rivers. Follow the Red River to its source In Lake Traverse, and in high water a boat can reach Big Storm Lake, the source of the Minnesota, and thenoe pass to the Mississippi, thus joining Hudson's Bay and the Gulf ot Mex­ ico. Two hundred miles to the east i3 Lake Superior and a water way to the Atlantic. Three hundred miles to the west the Mis­ souri can bo reached, and the traveler be borne into the shadow of the Rocky Moun­ tains. from whose western side another mighty river springs--the Columbia--and leaps to a different sea. After the Mis­ sissippi and Missouri the Columbia draws tho largest basin in the republic. from Lake Superior along, tho northern boundary of the republic to the Pacific Ocean the average altitude is less than 2,000 feet above the sea. It is the only line on which connected agricultural settlement can be malie across the continent. It is the ce­ real belt, and history shows that mankind gathers in larger numbers where food is most abundant and cheapest. South of here is the roof of the continent; the plains of Colorado are almost as high as the moun­ tains of Montana; Denver, surrounded by­ products faibis, is a half-mile higher than the average of Montanfi*s*'valley and plains. Between Omaha and Sacrameato there is a continuous elevation of quite 4,000 feet. Asee11ding.everv 300 feet makes a difference of one degree in temperature. Of the twanty-two States nnd Territories west of the Mississippi, each one is larger than all cf&"ew Eugianu, while Dakota and Montana ^ach possess area double that of the Nfliw England States. Montana, scarcely known by name in Englan^, is larger than all of Great Britain, and is rich­ est per capita of all American common­ wealths. Single counties of Montana are larger than fair-sized Eastern States. The counties of Choteau and Dawson, in North Montana, contain more acres than the State of Iowa. With the exception of a few mountains and high buttes. the whole of the two counties is described as a rolling prairie, covered with grass and filled with running streams. The main rivers are the Missouri, Milk. Marias. Sun, and Teton, A total of 1,200 miles of Waterways, not to speak of numerous tributaries, all flowing; through valleys of generous width and of great depth and richness of soil. Here the story of the buf­ falo was closed. Strange that the American people, usually sagacious, so long consid­ ered this Western land as sterile and worth­ less, regardless of the fact that it gave sup­ port to countless heads of untamed cattle. It is no doubt true that animal lif<? had Its origin in the warmer climates, but It is also true that the colder climatas have de­ veloped the most sturdy, energetic and brainy races of men as well as the best breeds of domestic animals. Frost and health lines seem to be synonymous. The races of the frost ollmesarc the most vigor­ ous; it is the lesson of history that North- I ern nations have always been more success- I ful in war and progressive in peace than their Southern neighbors. The material and moral conquest of the world belongs to the races of the frost lands; they have been the most energetic explorers and ploneersf the most adventurous colonizers, the most active merchants, the best founders of governments, and the wisest of rulers. Sanitary statistics prove the healthfulness of the Northwest tor both mankind and animal life. There is more sunshine here than in the East, and invalids begin to come and find health un­ der the genial skies. The conditions, too, aro most favorable to the stock industry. There is an abundance of grass, the most nutritious of food, the climate is invigorat­ ing and heathful, water is abundant, and everything favors the conversion of the products of field and pasture into the finest beef, mutton and pork, Into symmetrical and enduring horseflesh, Into wool, and into A Plea for the Mother-in-Law. Poor mother-in-law! How they do abase you. You have brought up a daughter to be pretty and nice and ac­ complished and attractive. You have fixed her up and got her all Borts of be»utifying features, dresses, ribbons, hatj. and goodness knows what all, just to make her worthy of him, and he comes along, carries her off and tells you to mind your own business. It isn't fair, is it? It does not matter that j her father did the same to your mother, ' and you perhaps aided and abetted him. It is hard that after going through all the work of finding out how married life works you don't get the chance to exercise your vast fond of knowledge upon somebody else. It's like learning the multiplication table I and never having anything to count. ! Well, you have to make up your mind to one thing--that if you can't render j any more practical service to the young man than giving him advice as to what your husband used to do--and I dare say you objected to -everything he used to do when he did--you will not be popu­ lar. You are like everything and everybody else nowadays. Your ex­ perience is not worth a cent; if it were there wouldn't be so many divorces. But if you can't give the young man a handsome check about the New Year time, or if you haven't a little property worth thinking about in your lifetime to leave him when you die, why live a long way off, and be sure and go to see your daughter when he is out. It is a woman's fate to give forever mote than she gets. She suffers and enjoys only with others. She lias no joy that comes only to her. If her husband is suc­ cessful, famous, rich, she enjoys the reflected happiness. If he is sick and Buffering, she suffers sometimes more | than he, and when she has children she has no life of her own to speak of. She suffers and enjoys with them. And when she becomes a little inde­ pendent, and resents too gross injustice, her own sex rise up and call her un­ womanly. If women did not keep one another down the men would be afraid to miss a car, to be five minutes late for dinner, Or to be out of the house I that most uselul of all domestic animals. after dark, for men are cowards before good women.--San Francisco Chron­ icle. CAPT. MARK PERCY, of Cox's Head, Me., has a fox-hound of great grit and intelligence. He got after a fox the other day and chased him for two days, j being frequently seen and heard during that time. Finally the fox, completely exhausted, fell to the ground but showed fight. The dog, nearly as tired as the fox. seemed to think that he had not enough strength left to fight with, and so he sat down close by the fox and watched him. Thus they were found by a farmer -who saw part "of the per­ formance. The fox was so tired that the man easily killed it with a club. ALFALFA cultivation is on the increase in Western Kansas. tho milch cow. Sheep do remarkably well, and the business has assumed such magnitude that the flock-masters have a Territorial organization and support a monthly called vtho Montana Wool (Grower, published at Fort Benton, and wool shin- mmits annually run into millions of pounds Sheep pelts and cow hides have taken the place of buffalo hides and furs which form' erly gave prominence to this region. Horses do quite as well as sheep, and eve y year in creases the demand for Montana horses The mounted police of the British Dominion draw their supplies from this Territory, and in a recent call for the purchase of eauaSry horses'for the United States army tile Quar­ termaster General exp essed a preference for Montana stock. Th«- possibilities of the country, however, are not confined to stock raising alone; the soil is exceedingly rich and wherevor cultivated yields prolific crops. The first settlers gave little atten­ tion to agriculture, and it has only been IA recent yeais that they found out what the country is capable of in this direction. . Sixty bushels of wheat to the acre is pot uncommon, and other jjrains in pr0D0)rf6n. and other root crops and vefrlitabMT «r«- 'easily produced and the yield is often enormous. The demand for lara produce among the miners and stock raisfers has so far kept prices at high fig­ ures. eggs and butter in particular bringing about double the prices of tho States. The coming of the St. Paul, Minneapolis A Manitoba Railroad has given groit impetus to affairs in North Montana, and tfae next few years will witness a marvelous growth. No transcontinental road passes through a region of such varied wealth as lies Dot ween the mountains and the Mississippi River. Passing through the granary of Dakota--the valleys of the Red and the Mouse--the * vast pasture fields and valleys of Montana, it taps the granite vaults of the great hills, filled with goid and silver and copper, but guarded with time locks, to be fully opened now by the advent of com­ petitive railway facilities. A rough moun­ tain is valueless for agricultural purposes, but when full of rich oros h single Here ft wealth producer compensates for thou­ sands ot acres of arable land. Montana is the richest mineral bearing district in the United States; the output of precious metals last year led all the other States and Territories, the total being nearly one- fourth of the entire production of the coun­ try. The dream of the alchemist has been realized; the laborer of yesterday is the millionaire of to-day. The mountains afe not only lined with veins of precious metals, but Iron, lead, coal, and building stone exist in limitless quantities. Coal is scat­ tered over the entire Territory, in North Montana cropping out in many places along the Missouri and other rivers. North of the Missouri River, along the St. Paul, Min­ neapolis and Manitoba Kailroad.tho coal is of the conch shell formation, black and shiny, and burns to a red ash, while the variety south of the river is known as tho Peaoock coal, on account of its chromatic coloring, OnH lAntute n <icj> Thft Aftl <\f plains, eastward into Dakota, is lignite, but the mountain coal is bituminous. The other day I went into a coal mine, eight miles from Great Falls, in which the vein was ten feet thick, the entrance being in the side of a hill under a heavy roof of rock. It could not have been more conveniently planned by man. This mine is rcached by a branch of the Manitoba. The extension of the Manitoba road, the rapid and solid construction of whiuh was one of the me­ chanical feats of the age, has opened up a large area of both agricultural and mining territory, and the wise and practicable course of the Compaey in<iLealing with the! public will soon result in Hrrge settlement and great prosperity to the entire country traversed. Near where the Sun River enters the Mis­ souri is the city of Great Falls, from whence I write. It is 100 miles from Helena and| 40 miles from Fort Benton. From here to the Gulf, as the river runs, it is farther than from Chicago to London. To St. Paul it is 1,073 miles. There aro live distinct ranges of mountains in sight from the city, and: none nearer than 35 miles, yet a person now familiar with this • air would declare it an' after-supper walk to roach any of thom. The valleys and plains leading up to these! mountains ara covered with grass. As far as the eye can reach, and' a thousand times further, not an acre is val-; ueless, and in time will be covered with farms' and stock ranches. Much of it is still gov­ ernment land and free to settlers. The grandeur is not all in sky pictures, lofty mountain^, winding rivers and grassy plains, but near by is a cataract second only to Niagara, with an accompaniment of other falls, giant springs and cascades--a1 combined fall of over 500 feet--which must make this a leading Northwestern resort." Henceforth the great river will not be al­ lowed to Idle away its time in rushing and leaping, year in and year out, over the rocks. It is being put to work for the good of the human race, grinding wheat and corn, weaving cloth, crushing ores, saw­ ing lumber, and in making this a great mart of industry--a city of homes, of comfort and' prosperity. Already the most perfectly ar­ ranged smelter in the country for handling! gold and silver ores is in operation, with a< daily capacity of 250 tons, and so construct­ ed that enlargement can be made to 1,000; tons without an increase of ^buildings or machinery. A roller flour-mill, the first In­ dustry inaugurated, is the only one for 1,000 miles along the upper Missouri, A great- grain region is already a tributary, and sooner or later a railroad from here will penetrate the wheat-fields and pasture lands of the Saskatchawan, far to the north; even now the project is being formu­ lated. Readers of this will live to see a railroad to Asia and Europo by way of Alaska and Behring Strait. Iron and steelworks, woolen factories, and other in­ dustries are contemplated at Great Falls., and not a tithe ^ the river's strength Is yet laid out; thereistpower enough to build up a Minneapolis and a Lowell combined. With wide streets, spacious business blocks, fine residences, churches, and school-houses, a city is being reared by men born in the1 East but developed in the West. Barely in' its third year, it supports two bright dally papers. Nature colild not nave Tnade a' more suitable site for a city, and one laid out on a 89ale commensurate with it# mighty sffrrouBding*s. There are already three railroads, the St. Paul, Minneapolis and Manitoba, the Montana Central, and the Neihart Valley. Tho former, ill connec­ tion with the Union Pacific at Butte, gives> from St. Paul a through line to Washington Territory. Oregon, and California. . Bason. , People Who Fret. Oae erf the most striking examples of this large class of unfortunate beings is the great Carlyle--the man of noble heart and great mind, capable of grasp­ ing great subjects and giving wise words of admonition regarding them, and yet s > difficult to live with com-' fortably, because he was easily dis­ turbed by trifles and gave free vent to an oral expression of the annoyances he felt. There is a touch of the ridicu­ lous, but much more that is pathetic, in the story of Carlyle's behavior on his return home after an absence. during which his loved Jennie--Mrs, Carlyle worked with loving industry to make her husband's home-qoming an ear pecially happy one. ' ^ The study was made immaculately neat, the new furniture arranged in the most pleasing order, and a dainty touch here and there to make all home­ like. The task completed, Mrs. Car­ lyle awaited in happy expectancy tho return, of the master of the house. Whftt did Carlyle, do to show his appreciation of this loving service so willingly rendered V Did he expr'ess his satisfaction in words, or even by a look of pleased surprise? Not he. Sur­ veying the room with critical eyeB, he walked to a window, discovered that the sash rattled, and vented his dis­ pleasure in unmistakable language. This one small flaw blinded him to all the rest df the order and pleasant ar­ rangements of the room.--Evening Wisconsin. I "Chic" and Slang. To be "chic" in conversation i*1 an attribute muoh admired in either the man or the woman of society. A gen­ erous sprinkling of slang is permitted to enliven the small talk of the hour, and a new phrase that is suggestive is welcomed with positive delight. The latest that falls on the ear with some­ what odd effect is "All in the soup." The expression is an elongated form of the hitherto popular "left." The un­ successful suitor, the defeated political candidate, the "exploded" financial ven­ ture, the overturned market basket; in short, mishaps and disappointments of all kinds are described as "AH in the soup." The phrase, which is claimed to be novel, savors strongly of thei old- fashioned "pickle," into which the good dames and sires, of long ago, used to be thrown descriptively, in cases of discomfort, or tho "stews" by which they expressed their hot moments of anxiety.--Table Talk. Not on His Knee, Though. The Iras was full inside, and thecon- ductor said, " Will any gentleman ride outside to oblige a lady?" There was a dead silence, until Tomp­ kins said with a grin, "The lady can sit on my knee if she likes." . The lady happened to be Mrs. Tomp­ kins. She said coldly she wouldn't trouble him, bat she sat upon him when she got home. . PORXiro THl ATRICAt COMPANIES. Hew Actor* Are fingaiecd and the Sala­ ries Tlwy Rocplve. A dramatic agency is the intelligence office of the theatrical profession, and there the names and addresses of the majority of people conneoted with the stage are registered. At one such office there are over 2,000 names on the books. These are arranged according to the lines of business, and an agent can turn instantly to any department about which there is an inquiry. Not only actors are supplied by these offices, but busi­ ness managers, advance agents, prop­ erty men, carpenters, wardrobe women, dressers, etc. Many well-known actors and actresses, whose services are in con­ stant demand, very seldom get engage­ ments through agencies, as managers write to them making offers. The great majority of the engagements are, however, made by the agents. A man­ ager who wants a company gives an agent an idea of how many people he needs, the respective lines of business and the salaries he is willing to pay. The agent goes over his books and sub­ mits a list of names, and the manager makes his selections, and then meetings are arranged and offers made and ac­ cepted or rejected as the case may be. Naturally, a great deal of power has be­ come vested in the theatrical agents. There are only two or three of any con­ siderable importance in this city. They have their likes and dislikes, and prac­ tically have been for some time the ar­ biters of^the destinies of many actors who have not become sufficiently fa­ mous to be in general demand. It is with a view^of conducting this business with more equal justice to all that the Actor's Fund has established an agency, controlled by a committee, and which, while offering superior advantages in some ways, charge less commission than is exacted under the old system. As a rule, that was for a season's engagement or "job" as they are technically termed, B per cent. In the agencies «the walls are gener­ ally lined with the portraits of actors and actresses, and these are necessari- ally great helps to a manager in picking out persons we may desire to see. Sal­ aries range all the way from $20 to $250 per week. There are a few people who get more than the higher figure, but they are not those who have to resort t<y agencies. Leading men and womjn may be procured all the way from $40 to $250 per week. This is a wide dif­ ference, but equally different is the amount of ability to be secured. For $40 a respectable actor may be obtained for cheap companies playing in small towns or in cities in what used to be called "dime museunjs." In companies playing at the high-priced theaters leading men and women generally re­ ceive from $75 to $125 a week. As a rule, the women, get a little more than the men, antMhis is only fair, as their dress is comiderable more expensive, and in hotels they need better rooms and more fires than the men. Juvenile men and women are obtained at from $40 to $60. Comedians at about the same rates, unless of exceptional merit. The heavy man and character actor are the best paid after the leading people, receiving anywhere from $60 to $100. Old men and women rarely get much over $50, and the small people, or fill­ ers-tip, are paid from $20 to 35. Un­ questionably the rank and file of the profession are under-paid, while many of the leaders receive far more than they deserve or than the same amount of ability would obtain in any other business. While even the small figures quoted may seem liberal, it must be re­ membered that salaries are very often uncertain, and thafr even when they are paid regularly it is rarely for more than eight months in the year. Dress is ex­ pensive, and living in even second-class hotels is costly. An actor who is eco­ nomical can rarely keep his expensas below $15, and has therefore, all he can do to save enough to carry him through the long summer vacation. Husbands wives are seldom engaged in the samA company, as \managers have learned that any dispute or trouble with one means the same wiiji both. It is no easy matter to replace people in the middle of a season, and perhaps at a distance of over a thousand miles from New York. Nearly all the principal companies are made up in this city, and the necessary work begins with the summer and continues till the opening , of the season. Engage­ ments for the local stock com­ panies are rarely made through agents. Positions in these are the prizes of the profession, and the managers are inun­ dated with personal and written ap­ plicant^. Methods for Increasing Business. When A. T. Stewart began business [\he did a wealthy lady a oertain favor, Allowed her to take his umbrella from \clmrch or somethiug of the kind, and when she asked what she could do to return the compliment, replied that he would be indebted to her if she would allow her coachman to drive her coach up and stand in front of his store for a while any day the horses were being exercised. This was to give the passing crowd the impression that the wealthy Mrs. Blank traded at that store. I Trave known merchants who would get their wives and mother-in-law, sisters, cousins, and aunts, to come to the store and stand around in front of the coun­ ters, so as to give the store a busy ap­ pearance. This is a kind of deceit that injures no one, unless it may be the sisters, cousins, and aunts, who have to stand around and get bored. But the point I want to make is that appear­ ances are good business investment for any merchant. - While speaking about humbugs I am reminded that a certain well-known wholesale grocer once found him­ self overloaded with stale graham bread. It became too hard for any pur- B»se to which bread is ordinarily used. ut he was a man of ideas, and he de­ termined that he would get his money back which he had invested in that bread. He sent it to a spice mill to be ground. The bread was so hard that the spice mill had to use steel rollers to crush it. The wholesaler had some fancy labeled boxes made which he filled with this hard, ^ ground graham bread. He then called the compound "Graham Tapioei, or something of the kind. It was to be soaked in milk and e&Mnv when it would be nourishment for the infants and a sure cure for dys­ pepsia. It was a success at once, and became a popular infants' and dyspep­ tics' food. The merchant made about five hundred per cent, on his invest­ ment, and went into the business of buying up stale graham bread and turn­ ing it into "Graham Tapioca." Testi­ monials eame in as to its virtue and the manufacturer grew rich, smiling, and happy. It was just what dyspeptics and infants wanted. I hope if he sees this, he will not come after me with a shot­ gun, for exposing his preparation. But here is the point. Nothing need be WMted, while there are fib many people •*»gl It iff the men ferftie in new ideas that often gets ahead, and it would do many a great d<Ml of good if they could take a night off sua ctevotc it to thinking tnj ning.--The Northwest Trade. Making Base-Balls. Winding base-balls by hand is a ot ^e past, says the Philadelphia Beo ord. Machines have been invented to do the work automatically, conse­ quently every ball is like its fellow. Each machine winds two balls at on? time. A little para rubber ball weighing three-quarters of an ounce, around which one turn has been made with an end of a skein of old-fashioned gray stocking-yarn, is slipped into the machine. Then another, after which tho boy in charge touches a lever, the machine starts, and the winding begins. The rubber ball is hidden in a fe^ seconds and in its place appears a little pay Jarn hall that rapidly grows larger and larger. When it appears tc about half the size of the regulation base-ball there is a click, the machine stops, the yam is cut, and the boy picks out the ball and tosses it into 1 basket, When this basket is full it u passed along to another boy who runs 8 similar machine, where an half-ounce layer of worsted yarn is put on. The next machine adds a layer of strong white cotton thread, and by watching closely as the white appears on the surface of the gray the beauty oi the winding machine can bo appreci­ ated. There is perfect regularity and no point where the thread crosses oft* ener than in another. A coating oi rubber cement is next applied, and a half-ounce layer of the very oest fine worsted completes the ball with the ex­ ception of the cover. Each ball when completed must weigh five and a quar­ ter ounces and measure nine and a quarter inches in circumference. The minute differences in the balls are equal­ ized by the thickness of the cover. Every ball and cover is weighed be­ fore the cover is sewed on. The cover resembles two figures 8s in shape and is cut from selected and specially prepared horse hides. There is only one kind of professional dead-ball made, the sup­ posed differences lying in the cover and stamps only. The patentees of the winding machines employ about five hundred hands at their factory in this city and have about 40,000 dozen balls now in stock. Several cheap grades oi balls are also manufactured, those re­ tailing for 5 and 10 cents being made from pressed leather shavings. Flowers from Thanksgiving to May-Day. A common complaint of beginners at bulb culture is that the bloom comes very late, generally not until February or March. Could the bulbs themselves be consulted, they would probably quota the old saying, "Late beginning makes late ending." Until fond enough of the bulb family to greet it at its earliest ap­ pearance, and extend to it the most cordial and intelligent hospitality, window gardeners are likely to delay planting\until out-door flowers are gone. Veteran growers plant as soon as the bulbs can|be procured--generally in the first halff of September; some of the pots may1 thus be sufficiently advanced to be^ urought to the light in mid- October. Treated thus, the Roman hyacinths and the earlier narcissuses may be had in bloom by Thanksgiving Day, and some of the others will follow speedily. The period of bloom may be made to extend from Thanksgiving to May-day by bringing pots from cellai or closet at intervals of ten days; to make assurance doubly sure, delay putting part of a collection until late in November. To know which plants are first fit to be brought to the light, turn the pots upside down, supporting the top earth by the fingers of one hand, and strike the edge of the pot gently on something hard; the entire ball of earth will come out unharmed, if properly moist, and if growth is sufficiently ad­ vanced, a number of white roots will be seen coiled around the bottom soil.-- John Habberton, in Harper's Maga­ zine. \ J Cleopatra Wasn't HandsomcL ' Mrs. Lew Wallace has been writing a new book which she calls "The Rejjpse in Egypt." In it she discusses the Pyra­ mids, Suez, and Sinai, the Obelisks and Alexandria, and, in connection with hei account of the latter city,* she tells some entertaining things regarding Cleopatra, who, ones in the ̂ tropical airs of that old city, rode on swift camels and floats in gilded barges with Antony, and, after years of revel, she was buried there, with imperial pomp, in his tomb. For women who erroneously think thai beauty alone pleases, Mrs. Wallace pictures Cleopatra as bewitching in mannerg, but not personally even prettyA She had command of seven languages, and she knew how to flattei the vanity of men by adapting herseli to their varying" moods and exerting herself to be fascinating. Her whole aim and study was to please and her voice was like a musical instrument tuned with many strings. The secret of her success with Antony was that she gave him no\ime to thing, lest reflection and repentance might rob her of her hero. 'Mrs. Wallace saw the portait ol Cleopatra at Denderah, and has much to say of this woman who held in check the General's wars, changed the map ol the world, and added miseries to the hard fate Of the Egyptians. --Exchange. Kissed the Boy. Here is a pretty story of Miss Mary Anderson told by the Boston . Tran­ script: As Miss Anderson was passing through one of the great dry goods stores, the salesmen recognized her and whigpered to each other: "There goes Mary Anderson I" A little cash boy, hearing the remark too late to see her face, exclaimed: "Oh, why didn't you let me know in time ? I haven't got money enough to go to see her play, but I might have looked at her." The lady had not passed out of hear­ ing. Turning baok she stooped and kissed the boy. "There, my lad," she said, "you can­ not only say that you have seen Mary Anderson, but that she has kissed you. thtm MIRTH'S MAC5IC WAm Dead Secrets. {11:80 p. m.)--What's that Wife v ... horrid odor? Smells like alcohol Husband--Y-e-s, mv dear, we use al­ cohol at the lodge for initiations. ̂ Take some alcohol, light it, put salt in the flame, and it gives a ghastly yellow light; mafcaa folks look like ghosts, you know. "But odor oomea from your breath." , "Y-e-s, m' dear; in the thirty-seventh degree I personate the chief demon with flames coming from his mouth. T take a mouthful of alcohol and a swallow of salt, and then set fire to it. But, m' dear, you mustn't tell these things. Secret s'ciety secrets very sacred yon know."--Philadelphia Record. Ac SHhKT structure--The dice box. , • WHEN there is a commotion in school" the wise teacher pours oil on the troubled waters--whale oil.--Puck. v "PA, what's the difference between a .- a thief and a kleptomaniac?" "O, about • v $10,000 a year. The one who hasn't il is the thieV'--Harper's Bazar. ^ "DOLIJJVER was arrested, eh?" "Yea.* / ̂ "What for?" "Bigamy." "Tried and. V convicted?" "Yes." "What did h# get?" "Two mothers-in-law.8--Chi* cago Ledger. WIFE--What a happy looking couple those two are! I wonder how long they've been married. Husband--O, J, guess they're only engaged.--JFiMfc; York Weekly. 5 ROUNDEB-- HOW is it for a pass on your road? Agent--Can't do it*. Roundel*--Don't you pass anything oft this road? Agent--Oh, yesl We past' ' '•"•£*. i dividends.-- Lowell Citizen. J;. \ | HANNAH MORE, it is related by tradi* C * tion, "never was kissed in her life." Ilf /* .j it possible that this betrays the origM ',• / \-J of the slang phrase, "That's what's the. \ • * matter with Hannah?"--News letter. " * A "JUST came from the West, eh? Well" C how's business out their?" "Rushingv \ ^ Thirty new towns were started in Kan!, ; sas last week, and, three of them hav#! f| ̂ already got a few inhabitants."-- New ^ York World. . ' J COAL DEALER--Would you like chest* . * - ; nut coal? Customer.--Yea; but there'i -j one chestnut I don't want, and that ia. v your joke of calling 1,600 poundaof coa|f \ j a n d t h e d r i v e r a t o n o f c h e s t n u t c o s d . - % f 1 Texas Sif tings. £' ' - I \ A CALIFORNIA clergyman recently ^ threw books and chairs from the pulps V ' among the congregation. He wokf- (i everybody up except one deacon, who 4 was superintendent of a boiler factory^ --Burlington Free Press. ' - i PAWNBROKER--This is a fine alari|f clock, sir, and I am sorry to say I can­ not advance you a tenth of,its valu^f i Citizen.--Never mind. It will be n0» ' further use to me. There are twins i(j!" ; the house,--Burlington Free Press. ^ ? "ARE you not ashamed, cousin, to kilt ' A pretty little bird like that?" "But my dear girl, I thought it would loo® 4 so well in your hat." "True, I didn% think of that! It's exactly the sama shade of gray. You are kind."--Judgty AT the musicale: He--The doctoijj^ ; ~ have decided that wrinkles are mainl*\ produced by laughing. She--What a|T " awfully jolly time poor Miss Passe mu^| ; have had during the many years she has been with us.--- Terre Haute Ex­ press. HE--You wouldn't care to know Goodfellow, Miss Smart; he's awfully ' bad form--a regular cad, you know? "~ She--But I do know him. He-4 v.- Really, now! She--Yes; and I atipr ':> going to marry him next month.-* , Scribner's. ' . AUNT (who is entertaining Mis|. Breezy, of Chicago.)--That is a beauti* ^ - ful dress you have on, Geraldine, an|. s; the shade seems to be quite new. Mi#- - - y Breezy (complacently.)--Yes, it is a new ' * : Chicago shade, called the "pig's snore." --Life. "SAY, Cholley," asked one newsbby ot another, "what's a payin' teller?" "Hell de man what pays out de money." "An* what's a receivin' teller?" He's de man what takes in de money." "An?- * what's de cashier?" "He's de feller, what gits away wid de money."--Hat- P&*8. ̂ ̂ THE infant class teacher was trying fb " ; bring out the fact that David was a matt*' of varied occupation. The question wtii asked: "What do you call a mas. , who plays on a harp?" A youngster quickly answered: "An Italian." Thea a new topic was introduced.--Boston Beacon. DULLARD--Isn't Mrs. Brown Potter1 jrather an exclusive and reserved wo* * < man? Brightly--Not at all, I assuot you. I saw a great deal of her when X was in N&w York, recently. Dullard-^ ' ft . Where <ml you see her, in societvf, • Brightly--No; i-in Cleopatra. --Lowett Citizen. PHEENEY O'TOOLE--Oi've twinty- four hours' lave o' absence, Dinny ! Dennis OT)own--Have ye, now? Good luck to ye! Where are ye goin'f Pheeney O'Toole--Whist, Dinny! Oi'ltt goin' to see a trial av thrashing machines in a Jarsey barn. Gi'li bet ye foive to one McAuliffe bates Daly.--Puck. SIGN Painter--You want a sign "En­ glish Chop-House" over your door, ck> you? Proprietor--Yah; dot vas id-- "English Ghop-House." "Do you wan* any extracts from the bill-of-fare painted in?" "Yah; dot vas von goot idea. Baint on de board: 'Hot Sassage, Peer, und Limburger Cheese.'"--Philadel­ phia Record. YOUNG Mr. Porcine--Didn't young , Mr. Wabash, Miss Breezy, board here not long since? Miss Breezy--Yes, but he left some little time ago. We , all liked him so much. He was $mch a J gentleman--so quietv and refined in hit . tastes--but he jumped his board two months ago, and wev haven't seen him since. --New York Sun. PLUMBER'S Wife--I should like to countermand the order for those five* - karat earrings, if it is not too lata, feweler.--Certainly, madam. Some: thing finer, I suppose. Plumber's wife." --Well, hardly! My husband think* that this winter has been a little too warm for diamonds. I'll take a pair of those plated cuff buttons.--Jcwelct*8 Weekly. MRS. GRUNDY--Ah, Mr. Broadacres, that is a dashing boy of yours. I®-. clined to be a little wild, but he is* great favorite. Do you propose to havpi him go into the law, medicine, OT tlia ohurch ? Mr. Broadacres -- Neither* madam; I shall try and get him into the Government service. He is altogether too much of a revenue, cutter to ent4f# any other profession.--Time. rr~ MATRIMONIAL AMENITIES. 'She tried on her drew--'twas a drens to admin; It flttad her just like aglovft So Bhe said to her husband who »at by the fipa, "Pray, how do I look in it, love?" Ho lifted hie eyes from the paper he read And glanced from her head to her feet; Then he rose up and kissed her, &ad gallantly said, You look handsome in everything, sweet." She tallied a sweet smile, and a bright bluflb o'erspread Her face from her cheek to her brow, How much more delightful than If he had Mid, "Don't bother me, Mary, just now t" "You are a duck," said, the young doctor, playfully, but with an air of earnestness withal. "Yes," said she, for it was she, "but----" dropping her eyes timidly, "but what is a duck with­ out a quae " But he fled without waiting to hear the rest, and now when they meet he looks over the top of her head with the wandering, unconcerned air of a brother, and she deports herself to himwards as a long lost sister who has mislaid her strawberry mark and therefore cannot recognise herself f<|pt him.--Burdette. SIR WILLIAM PEARCE left axforhme 0/' $6,250,000; all to his widow and 1 "i sal i§ S3 'o- fe-'",