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VBtB Oi.n, oi.o asttx, :|V BT CBASt-BS) STOKTHBSOR «f*0#H.; liMiong the heavy, rolling door, ;f«. Deserted all things neeiu to feel! j:isjDestmould &ud rust, on wall and flofl On pulley#, l»6ita«aid shafla of steel. careless one! and softly tread, » .jr." "1^ For coboes. (ircur, the silence till; i j?X' , ..As though thf> ghosts of owners dead. Were haunting now the old, old mf" **Xl»e spider* syin, and weave, and spin; ....... The Kwalloves build their cunning „ JU*l twitter flirting out and iu-- ' v s?[K> ; Mo din disturbs their home and rest! • • ":;!>43Doeerted! «ye, Its shingles mossy are{ • • ; Its crumbling walls and chimney hJg|(,Y. ;#$***» "l«nt voice, once heard afar-- • I'.'f All tell that life, with years, mast 4jM A'y: It stand* a fast decaying shell-- • Jjr".Its usefulness baa long since fled! vi4* f)> i iron years their whirlings tell: , . The wheel--Is silent as the dead! 4,;..^. j "llfce waters s'ghing trickle by, " » K ^ And sadly mourn a fate so 4&ar; i^taaBot the old mill sees with gl&ssy eyelgSaV' i And listens with a stouy oar 1 •WC ' .; **Tis o story told of life and death-- * •J -,yOf youth, old age. decay and must; . "ttiiat life is bat a thought--a breath--r While dust is gathered untodust! • '<•1$ t * ». Its oli-time voice doth live for aya, And so our spirits ever will; '",v And all we leave to mould, daeiy-- Is the frame of the old, old infill - katisaw Traveler. £ CRISS' CHILDHOOD distance and !»ad come to * inspect it, without t»n idea of intruding; there he had seen her, had Bent one look into those sweet, flower-like eyes, and had let hergo without one word of apology. He saw her enter the farm house and then retraced his steps, reading first the inscription on the monument: Sacred to tho memory of -s\ Elizabeth, , , JWife of Caleb Field, u . ~ 4 * ftho died Jan. --. 18-fe; I --'iAged 19 years. Ifta; "He giveth his beloved •sleep.1' On the mound were the freshly planted buds. 'He stooped down a lit tie to see if they were wilted, and he thought he saw a tear-drop in the heart of one of them "Poor little girl! I was a brute to come tip like t hat; I must tell mother.'* Frank Wainwright had a very good and lovely mother, a mother who, though devoted to her only child, had been wise enough to train him nobly! Their place was about two miles off, among the most picturesque of the Berkshire hills. He almost ran to the drive, and came upon his mother just as she was descend­ ing from licr carriage. • . "Why, dear, what is it?" seeing him so flushed aud hurried, "Come into the house and I will tell you." In a few words he told eagerly what he had seen, and a soft look came over Mrs. Wainwrighfs gentle face. Fif­ teen years before, about this time (and she remembered the chrysanthemums then, in bloom), she had laid down among them her little, fair, dead daughter. Her heart bled as she spoke of the flowei*s; he paw the anguish on her face and stopped. fcOh, mother, forgive, I never thought of my dead sister," he said brokenly. She bowed her head and they sat si­ lent, hand in hand, for a moment. Then Mrs. W. spoke in a low, sweet voice: "I should like to see this young girl; and, my son, no apology is Seeded for what was unintentional; a simple ex­ planation should suffice. Poor child! She had «ome to life just as the chrys- •flmtfeemmns do, with the falling leaves, mod like them, too, she had bloomed as tjesfc she might without the glow, the summer splendor or the summed show­ ers that other lives and other flowers «faare. She lived in a brown farm house *mong the Massachusetts hills with her <dd father. Had she bloomed so late in Iris life to give some color and poetry to tlie autumn of his days, as the ehrys- anrtienmm blows only to light the fall of the dying leaves ? It must have been -so, for he was well into the sixties, ^riule she was barely sixteen. Years ago her mother had died, a trail, lovelv creature, .who would have . v . . Siveu that other young life the joy and 1 ^ love it needed so; but the child grew ~ * •without it, a hardy, cheerful little thing, though tnot without a certain ^dstfolness at times in her great blue •eyes so like a purple flower. Old jEaehel, her father's housekeeper and iter own faithful nurse, used to look at iber with wet eves and shake her head. -It ain't natural. She goes on sing- iag and laughing as happy as a lark all •Ay;- but what's to make her happy, say I? It ain't her father, nor vet me, I do love her, the dear, and she ^ata't got no mother, no sister, no brother, nor yet no lover, so what's to make her happy? It ain't natural," sA« insisted, as a blithe voice rose above the clatter of the dish-pans as Bacfiel •IwMtled around the kitchen. "What makes you so happy, lamb?" cried the old woman out through the <open window. •"Oh. Rachel. I've got such a lovely 3ot of chrysanthemums; oonie oat and see; oh, look, look!" -It's them flowers that make her muttered the old servant, as ahe made her way through the kitchen jgBidan. * * " Well, to be sure, Chriss, dear, them -do beat aiL Oh, them is handsome!" "Aren't they just lovely? Seethe •greatgolden ones and the purple; those my favorites, and this cherry and te, and these pure white, too, those for mother," she said, lowering her I a little; "they aTe the onhr ones I pick. Bachel ! aren't they lovely '?" nt Rachel only shook her head and t into the house. •To think she loves them flowers so; it aim"! na.tural.it ain't; it it was akit- tea now or a dog I wouldn't wonder so, hat a lot of clinging asters, it ain't natural." Natural or not, Chriss was very • Jliappv. She hung over her newly- pets nearly all the morning, Vfhen a sudden cloud came over her face. She looked up with a long sigh amd turned to the back of the house, "where t wo deep windows marked her Jather's study. M1 wonder now if I dare tell him about them, he does hate so to be dis- tarbed; but oh! I want him to see 4faose purple ones so much." With one fond look at her glowing "bad she went in at the door. With .besitating step she passed along the bcoad. old-fashioned hall and rapped <i*adly at the oaken door. Not expect­ ing any response she went in and aighed as she saw the gray, bent head poring over an old book. " A wood fire a«t<Ju£lered on the hearth. She knelt 4o¥n and blew the embers, looking up apow and then with a smile. ^ i "There, there, let it alone, child, it Is ,V/_"4fc»rning rory well." ir * ""Oh, father, father " "Well, what now ?" "^Father, it's just lovely out to-day-- K v -g0 -»iraTni and KO sunny; and, father, my : flowers are in bloom." . "Your flowers--oh, the chrysanthe- •mxuBo. bud, hey? Well, that's good." "Father, won't you come and look at Jtbern? Dc!" very wistfully. "Come out? Not L I've got some- "4bing better to do than to look at a lot of posies. There, inn along, child; 4B>wdo.* She went very slowly and softly ou,t -cf the room, closing the door gently 'behind tier, but her heart was full. .Her Hong was silent now, and as she ~vassed the kitchen window she did not 3Uok up and nod as usual. She we at quietly out to the hot house atxl, selecting a small trowel, knelt •4«rn beside the white chrysanthemums --and began loosening the roots with ten- -*dbr, 'patient hands. i ~ . " S h e w o u l d h a v e c o m e t o l o o k , 1 ? « h e •aauruiured, as she glanced off to where white shaft of her mother's tomb s<arn«e. » / "She would have understood; ^ ,, ^ / ibaos she will understand now if I s^y a -,earne(1 aU the «uel loss tliat young : .little prayer." Two hot tears fell on the; pure blos- "foms as she trathered them up in her i-»l>rou; but they were not bitter tears, Bachel was astonished the next day by seeing the Woinwright turnout at their door. She clapped on a clean, white apron and showed Mrs. W. very civilly into the parlor, and took the card in to the master. "Humph!" he said, "I don't wan't to see her. Where's Chriss?" "Here, father," she answered. She had been reading beside him, and he had never noticed her. "It's Mrs. W„ sir; she that bought the Morris place. She's a real lady, sir." "Oh, Bachael, what shaU I say to her?" exclaimed Chriss. , "You don't need to say anything. Just go and smile at her, my lamb, and she'll be satisfied I know." ^ When Chriss saw the lady in mofirn- ing her heart misgave her for a mo­ ment until she heard her voice. My child," it said, "you must wonder at my visit. It was my son Frank who intruded upon you yesterday, and who could not re st until I came to say how entirely a mistake it was." , Chriss took courage to look up under her long eyelashes and was reassured. "Oh, certainly, Mrs. W.; he was very kind--and--polite, I am sure, and I thank you for coming." "Thank you, dear, and now I will go. You hav6 a pleasant home here, Miss Field," she said, as Chriss walked off with her to the carriage. "Oh! do you think so? Yes, it is pleasant. Wait just one moment, Mrs. W., please." She ran swiftly out of sight, and re­ turned with {in exquisite bunch [of white chrysanthemums. The tears sprang to Mrs. W.'s eyes. She took the buuch and the small hand with it into her own and laid a kiss upon the pure young brow. " They're mother's flowers; she's dead, you know," said Chriss, simply. "1 know, my dear, and I shall cherish them; good-by." "Oh! Bachel! there's the loveliest lady I ever saw!" cried Chriss, rushing . into the kitchen. "I suppose you won't look at any of us now," retorted the old woman, and was huffed and oli'eaded for two whole days. A week after that there came an invitation to take tea with Mrs. W., and great were the preparations for the event, and Bachael was very %roud of her .darling as she drove off arrayed in a pretty, quaint gown of lilac, with a ruffle of red lace at her neck and wrists. "She's pretty as a peach," declared her old nurse, "with them sweet blue eyes and them little pink cheeks, so she is. Mrs. W. met her, and a wave of emo­ tion we »- over her, and she thought of her owo lost darling. "Now,-dear, we are to be friends, you know," giud Mrs. W., as they sat down together in the beautiful library, "and I don't even know your name." Mother named me Chrysanthea, and they call me Chriss. You see I was born in October, the same as the flow­ ers, and I suppose that made her think of the name. I was only two years old i when she died/' "Two years old!" the words sent pang through the mother's heart. She sighed heavily, then crossed the room aud took a portrait from the table and gave it into Chriss' hands. It was that of a dear little dimpled girl, with an upturned, laughing face. "My daughter," Mrs. W. said. "Oh, have you a daughter? What a pretty child!" Then seeing the sad, troubled look in her friend's face she threw herself on her knee3 and buried her head in Mrs. W.'s lap. After that they were more than friends. A sweet sense of peace flooded Mrs. W.'s moth erly heart as she held that girlish form in her AUTOMATIC LUBRICATION. \ • • The Whol« Olllns I'ronBHt llevolati*nlied • St. L,OU!H lnvwntorv The great steamship, the City of Paris, requires thirty-two men to oil its machinery,, who in stormy weather are lashed in their positions to enable them to perform their dutyv/which, in its way, is as important to the safety of the Vessel and its passengers as that of the captain himself.' Incidents of the dan­ gers, costs and wastes of and in the lu­ bricating of niachiuery could be multi­ plied indefinitely. Tne item of lubricating locomotives is one that consumes a great deal of time in itself, and iu these days of very rapid transit, when water and coal are taken on board a moving train, an in­ vention that will dispense with the stoppages for oiling now made neces­ sary is of great value to the railroad world. The value of .automatic and perfect lubrication is scarcely understood o* appreciated. Imperfect * and careless lubrication largely increases the wear and tear of niacliinery, and many of the most serious accidents on railroads, steamships and wherever machinery is used have been caused by imperfect lubricating. So that not the least of the expense and danger incident to operating ina- chinery is its lubrication, There is now on exhibition at 313 Olive street, the1 office o! the Siegrist Manufacturing Company, an invention which, it is claimed, is the solution of the? problem of automatic and contin­ uous lubrication of machinery of all kin4s, from the smallest engine to the giants that propel the ocean steamers. The inventor is Mr. J. H. Siegrist, Jr., graduate of the Manual Training School of Washington University. Patents, both) home and foreign, have all been secured, and a stock com­ pany formed for the manufacture of the invention, thus aiding a new industry to St. Louis. Briefly described, the Siegrist automatic lubricator consists of a rectangular iron reservoir, with compartments for the several oils nec­ essary to lubricate the cylinaers and journals of an engine or bearing? of machinery. "The heavy oils are distrib­ uted from the reservoir by means of an engine and pumps through a dis­ tributor connected by pipes with the va­ rious parts of an engine requiring lubri­ cating, while the cylinder oil is pumped direct from the reservoir. The engine nsed is a small self-contained engine, attached to the top of the reservoir, the cylinder of which is one inch in diame­ ter by two inch stroke, arranged by a system of gearing to drive four small pumps, which are directly uuder the cylinder, properly secured, two on either side of a central crosshead, which is caused to move alternately by a small disk having a slot in which a mov­ able pin is secured by a set 6crew, so that the strokes of the pumps may be varied, aud the quantity of oil to be det liverecl regulated as may be required, by simply moving the pin in' or out from the center of the disk. The dis­ tributor is an ingenious though simple device, consisting of two circular plates, the lower of which is stationary and has thirty holes, and may have as many 09 may be desired, to which the pipe3 heretofore referred to as leading to the diflereat parts of an engine, are at­ tached. The upper plate lis movable. It is encircled by an iron rim and has but one hole which, by means of a ratchet on the upper eide operated by a lever and attachments connected wilh the engine, is caused to rotate and com­ municate successively with each of the holes in the lower plate. Through this distributor the heavy oils are pumped from the reservoir to the hole iu the upper plate, and thence in rotation through the several holes and attached pipes of the lower plate to the journals or bearings of an engine or machinery. The number of bearings which may be lubricated is only limited by the number of holes in the lower plate, which may be increased, prac tically, indefinitely. The lubricator can be geared by simple means to regu­ late the quantity of oil delivered to each bearing, thereby guaranteeing the test results in lubrication, and the minimum consumption of oil. The invention has particularly at­ tracted the attention of railroad men, and the Messrs. Siegrist have arranged to give during the coming month prac­ tical exhibitions of their invention on the Chicago and Northwestern and the Pennsylvania railroads, in response to direct reques-vs to'do so. The chief en­ gineers of both roads write that if the lubricator is what is claimed for it,, a great problem in the care of locomotion has been solved. arms and j^assed her finger | through the dark, clinging curls,and she '• learned all the cruel loss that heart had suffered, unconscious of how it revealed the very depths of an unsul lied nature of the tenderest kind. What wonder if Mrs. W. thought •he was too young for that. She walked "°h' he,art °/ «oid' If, ?e .co"ld on\j .„.i. ti.! n..! i.j 1 be my daughter indeed! And so it came to pass that very next year, when the .chrysanthemums were in full blooiti, Frank Wainwright led his brvde to the little village church. Wr • -quickly across the fields that separated v »"*be bhryiug ground from the house, and ' • ••muon was by her mother's grave. The „ i field lark was chirping, the goldeurod y * brushed her cheeks as she passed, m; ber heart was lighter, and she sang un- her breath a sweet, old-fashioned f'; -rbymn. ' . . At last the flowers were planted and turned to go. : A young man with a sketch book un- $|ierU« arm stood aside to let her pass. •t>bc looked up in time to see him re- lltBove his hat, and encountered a pair of «*iark • brown eyes. She colored, and 'wnot on with quickened steps, conscious «i her. soiled apron jand earth-begrimed h v & ' the skin at The pulp is then bitten off around and each pole of orange around, as a school bov eats an apple. While t his style keeps the hands com­ paratively clean, it smears the face most unpleasantly. The same objec­ tion may be urged against the fashion !df peeling the orattge on a fbrk and holding it that way while eating it. Some people thrust a fork' into the coi-e of an orauge, peel the fruit and then slice it as onie would an apple, losing thereby a large quantity of the juice. At u dinner table, if the orange knive* are very sharp --a circumstance which rarely happen*, by the way-- this is perhaps as good a way as any. It is simple and makes fuss, and there M ah air of refinement about touching th6 fruit only with the knife and fork, if it be gracefully done, which recommends it to many people. --Allan Fomian, in Ladies', Home JOiinMl.' ' • "Ml: •' ^ . Accepted the Invitation. A netrlv appointed official, but re* cently come to Washington, says a lettei to the New .Xork Tribune, regaled some friend--, who in a back room at Chamberl in's were discussing a crab supper, with the following story of his first test of Washington hospitality: When at the capital last winter, looking after some business bei'oro one of the departments, the wife of a member from his State took him to a local fair, given for the benefit of som^ hospital, where he was fortunate enough to meet a most charming brace of bisters, residents in the suburbs, who, with true Southern hospitality invited lum to call. It was impossible for him to go and see them during this visit, but he made it his first pleasure after returning to tho city and found tho two sisters so attractive that he prolonged his call much later even that etiquette allows a country visit to be. Just as he became con- scions of this fact, and was thinking of making a graceful retreat, the mother of the young ladies appeared upon the scene, and was introduced to the visitor, whom she sarcastically asked to stay to breakfast, observing that it would not be long before that meal was served,--after delivering which thunderbolt she said goodTnight and disappeared through a door which disclosed a bedroom, be­ yond. * This new appointee, who wait. not a little annoyed at his own delinquency, was furious at the rebuke he had re­ ceived, and for a moment was at a loss, how to act. When he caught sight, however, of the bed through the half- opened door his decision wa&made. Quickly bidditfg the young xvomen good-night, he then told them he had decided to accept the mother's cordial invitation to breakfast and that he hoped they would see that he was called in time for the morning meal. With this he took possession of the unoccu­ pied bed-room and was soon dreaming cf the blue eyes that had been looking into liis during'the evening. It was early when a little tap was heard on the door, and a sweet voice said: "It is time to get up, Mr. ---; break­ fast is nearly ready." The mother had not been informed of the acceptance of lieij invitation, so that there was a surprise at the breakfast table when Mr. sauntered in, but his audacity won the old lady's heart, and now this official is one of the most favorite callers at thfe homestead. Old Bachel brings their children of ten now to the spot where their mother used to watch her flowers in her deso late childhood, and as she smiles at the pretty, chubby faces the eld woman murmurs to herself: "She's happy now," and it's natural she should be. She's got something better than flowers to care for now. God bless her." •f / ' iH. - V : stood looking after her, still with bis head bared. He w<w an artist; the the young girl kneeling by thel 'jggMWB had appealed to his senses. | ad •seen the .manualpint from a | atockin, WHY does the young man leave the farm? In New Hampshire, generally because it is so loaded down with rocks that he cannot conveniently take it away.--Somervilie Journal. me a hole in ihe A STiTeH ip -J" How to Ent dn Oj|fhge. Until the last few years, since orange3 have become popularized, it was a mat­ ter of no little difficulty and concern to those who desired to eat gracefully to hit upon the best way to eat an orange. The thick, easily broken skin of the Spanish and Italian oranges ad­ mitted of but little variation in method. The skin was carefully removed and the fruit separated in its natural sec­ tions, and eaten piece by piece. With the skin, tough peel and -tender inte­ rior skin of the Florida orange thU was a matter of greater difficulty. Fastidi­ ous people objected to the style which is the delight of chi'.dhood, viz., punch­ ing a hole in the orange with the fore­ finger and extracting the juice by pres­ sure and suction, and soon the fashion was set of dividing the orange in halves at the equator, if the expression may be permitted, and digging out the pulp with a teaspoon. Some genius improved upon this by cntting off only a small slice of the top of the orange, at about the Arctic circle, so to speak, then with a sharp knife cutting out the core, a second circular cut just inside the skin separates the pulp, and if the operation is dexterously performed the fruit can be eaten with a spoon without spilling a drop of the juice, a recommendation which has made it more popular thau any other method. The native Sicilian who does not care if he does get a lit­ tle of the juice smeared upon his coun­ tenance, takes his long, sharp knife-- every Sicilian carries a long, sharp knife for family purposes, as he gen­ erally has a vendetta or two on hat*d^-- and cuts the orange spirally around so that it becomes a long strip of peel and pulp. He grabs this strip at either end and draw it .rapidly across his mouth, absorbing fhe juice as it passes. It is not pretty, but is remarkably effective. A modification of this style is practiced in the United States and used to be known as "New Orleans' fashion.*" It consists in dividing the orange diago­ nally into "four sections, cutting across the core. It is not, however, considered good form by orange experts. t Another fashion of eating an orange --which is considerable trouble and has but little to recommend it on a sco^e of elegance, is to cut just through the skin at the equator, and by carefully turning the peel back, foym a cup of The Pope us a Header. After Mr. Gladstone, Pope Leo the XIII. is the most vigorous man of his agte of the day. 'The routine of his work -would kill an ordinary man; there is no detail too small for him to pass over, and from day-break until after mid­ night he devotes his time to church aud literature. Those who surround His Holiness know when he is particularly tired or worn out, for then he takes down a vol® ume of Dante and reads with the avidity of a school girl enjoying her first novel. Of all the authors,. Dante is the Pope's favorite, and it has been remarked that in physique he is not unlike the ac­ cepted idea of that great Italian. He reads Dante for pleasure, but for keep­ ing himself well informed on all that is happening out'of the church as well aa in it, he reads not only American books, but newspapers and magazines, and it may surprise American readers to know that he is well informed on all the topics of the day, political, religious, and so­ cial. He lias taken a deep interest in the cause of labor in the United States, and reads everything bearing on thai subject which oomes to hand. Once a week a well-selected bundle of American newspapess is sent to the Vatican, and the Pope and those that surround him know not only what is . going on in the United States, but they- are familiar with the calibre and charactei of the men who make laws aud enforce them. It is so in England also. In ad­ dition to his correspondence in the British Empire, he lollows with eager interest the reports in the various news­ papers, not only of the doings of Par­ liament, but of royalty as well, the progress of the church and the cause oi labor. Much the same plan is followed in Germany. In fact, from every cor­ ner of the world each week are sent to the Holy Father newspapers, books and magazines containing important dis­ cussions. A great many of these are filed away for future reference. »IOMI Bendcaaft Writes for the Arena. "I loved the man, and do honor to his memory on this side of idolatry, as muoh as any, quoth Ben Jonson, writing of his "beloved, the author, William Shakspeare," then recently dead. For, he adds, "he was honest, aud of an open and free nature; had an excellent fancy, brave notions, and excellent expressions; wherein he flowed with that facility, that sometimes it was necessary he should be stopped. His wit was in his own power, would the rule of it had been so too! But he redeemed his vice with his virtues. There was ever more in him to be praised than pardoned," Again he relates: "The players have often mentioned it as an honor to Shakspeare that in his writing (whatso­ ever he penned) he never blotted out a line. My answer hath been: wonld hr had blotted out a thousand!" Thus Ben Jonson. The thousana lines he referred to have been blotted out, and more. For no poet has been so bemauled, interpolated, mutilated and turned about as this one, before whom we grovel, while we deface his image. We go down on all fours before his idol and rub our forehead in the dust, and then proceed to disfigure him. Let us "do honor to his memory on this side of idolatry," without debasing our judgment, let us commune with him as an humble craftsman with a master. There is this matter in Jonson's remarks to be hv>ld in thought;--when he nays "on this side of idolatry"--it is evident that Shakspeare, in his own time, had provoked extravagant admiration, and the actors who vaunted that "whatso­ ever lie penned" was free from erasure, seemed fairly to settled the question re^ cently advanced that he was an illiterate- person, scarcely able to sign his own name, and performed a life-long im­ posture, thus befooling the family of dramatic poets amougst whom he lived in daily intercourse for twenty years of his life. Curious Names of -Religious PajMn> Of the 60,000,000 people in this country not a few go through life bear­ ing names that are, strange to say the least, curious. It is not surprising, therefore, that some of the 17,107 pa­ pers published by part of these 60,000,- 000 people should bear peculiar titles. It would be surprising if they did not. The present research, which has been restricted to religious publications, serves to show that men's minds differ as greatly in naming papers as iu nam­ ing children. For instance, a San Francisco pub­ lisher thought that the Christian spirit and brotherly love which his paper doubtless advocates could be best ex­ pressed by the title Harmony. An­ other publisher, in Leon, la., a believer, perhaps, in the aggressive religion of former days, would have none of this, but called his paper the Armory. At Atlanta, Ga., the Way of Life had its beginning; the Better Way, at Cincinnati, O.; while Sheldon, Mo., gives us Words of Eternal Life. There is a Christian Gleaner in Bock- ford, 111.; a Baptist Sun in Gaines­ ville, Ga., and a Baptist Basket iu Louisville, Kv. Indiana is rich in cu­ rious names; Evansville is the home of the Foor Soul's Advocate; Indianapo­ lis of the Iron Clad Age; and Lafay­ ette of the Battle Ground Repository. New Orleans, La., is honored by being the abiding place of the Ifoly Family. Dayton, O., lias a Religious Telescope, and Streator, 111., possesses a Church Telephone. One would naturally look to Philadelphia for the Ark, but iu this instance we must turn to Baltimore, Md. It will be noticed that the West and iSouth furnish most of these singular names. We of the East are content to allo y our journalistic offspring to flour­ ish under less conspicuous titles.--• Printers' Ink. Surprised the Photographer. Two women, one a giantess of about 500 pounds weight, the other a tiny dwarf, who might almost have been weighed in apothecary's balances, walked into an Indianapolis photograph gallery "My sister and I would like to have our pictures taken," said the big wo­ man, laying her hand caressingly upon the head of the dwarf, much as an old- fashioned extinguisher might have been placed over a candle. "Your sister!" exclaimed the photog­ rapher confusedly, "why, I thought she was your baby." "My dear sir, she is four years older than I am," came back the withering reply of the mouutaiu of flesh. The negative was taken, and the customers were putting on their wraps. "How many photographs would you like?" asked the photographer, thinkj ing, from the general appearauce of the women, that they would possibly ordef a dozen. "Oh, about 15,000 will do at present,"; calmly remarked the younger sister. , "Wh--•wha-- what?" "I i&id that we didn't care for mor$ than 15,000 copies of the picture now. You see. my sister aud I exhibit our-, selves in museums and sell our pictures. When this small order runs out, if you do a good job, we will give you another large one."--Indianapolis News. Ill Is Arranged. "I owe you $10," he said as hejhalted V 1.' *; £ *h. '•i". • iVi '&*- mmm. i A Cautious Baker. Ben Giroux, the advertising agent o! the Grand Opera House, has some pecu­ liar experiences with his bill board and lithograph passses, says the Chicago Herald. ' It is the custom of all the theaters to issue to people who give window space for lithographs and wall space for billboards what is known as a monthly or annual "billboard ticket." cood for two seats on a certain night or "nights of each week. The advertising agent of a house usually delivers these tickets in person and obtains a written receipt for them. The small tradesmen who allow lithographs to be hung in their windows are the most exacting people with these privileges, and it is among them that Giroux has the great­ est trouble. Not long ago he made a trip up Cottage Grove avenue to give out these passes, and he went into a lit tie bakery kept by a stolid German, who was in the shop at the time. Ben explained bis mission, and the man ac­ cepted the pass. Then Ben filled out a receipt in his book, and handed it over for the man's signature. "Vot ish dot?" inquired the German, distrustfully ey­ ing the receipt. "A receipt for the ticket I gave you--sigu your name in that space," replied Ben. "I call my vife," said the German. , "She vas Amerigan. Last veek I zign me a baper like dot, und now I owe a feller vorty tollar." He called his frau; she ex amined the receipt, said it was all right, and her husband signed it, but he was taking no chances on promissory notes. Id T6K woman who goes to church -to elfhibit her sealskin sacque religious ? a man on Monroe avenue. "You do." "I have owed it for six years." "You have." "I have told yoti a dozen times that I would never pay it." "At least a dozen." "But I will now pay. Here it is." "Thanks." "I pay it because I am going to be married to-night, and because you have arranged to come to the house about the time the Ceremony is over and dun me for it in the presence of the guests." "Yes, I had so arranged." "Well, youive got your money now and you won't dare come, and the first thing I do to-morrow will be to hunt you up and give you the biggest thump­ ing mortal man ever ' endured. Good- day, .air!"--Detroit Free Press. Time to Call a Halt. Farm Hand--I'm told that the work- kin'men in towns an' cities belong to an oxgin'zation called Knights of Labor.' Granger--Yes; big thing, to." Farm Hand--An' the country pa­ pers says the Farmers' Alliance has joined with 'em an' m^de a new union. Granger--(excitedly) -- Yes, 6iree; biggest thing yet. I'm one. Now the hydra-headed monopolies will bite the dust. Jest wait and see when we vote solid fer " Farm Hand--Well, us farm hands hez concluded to form a* union, too, and we want our hours reduced to six­ teen a day." Granger--Eh? Wha--? Now, see here! This federation business is goin* piost too far."--New lork Weekly. sTuyf ANP xonsmmz. A PLACS for lawyers--the Sioux Reservation. IT is natural for * eattle king to try to impose the yoke. # THE bar-tender spends much of his time in drawing to a full. AMONG the alleged gamblers arrested at Saratoga is Jolm Frost. Now Jack knows how it is himself to be nipped. MRS. GLOBETBOT-- What has become of Dr. Cureall, the great scientist, author of "How to Live Forever? Mrs. Stayhome--Oh, he died some time »go. ?... "LOOK here," said tKe farmer to the tramp, "let me just give you a pinter " "But I don't want a pinter," replied the tourist;"! want a quarter," GUEST (to waiter)--What do \ you mean by bringing me such a small piece of meat? Have you nothing larger? Waiter--Oh, yes, I'll go and get your bill. A GOOD example.--Canvasser--Yes, it is early, but I'm a morning glory- open out early. Victim--I.hope you'll emulate that flower, too, in shutting up before noon. STRANGER (to small boy)--Is your father home? Small boy--No sir. He went to the cemetery this morning. Stranger--When will lie return? Small boy--He's gone to stay; ; THE proprietor of a new patent medi­ cine advertises for "Active yonng men to undertake its sale," and adds that "it is certain to prove profitable to the un-« iertakers." We do not doubt it. MR. LOOKAHEAP--Does my daughter zive you any encouragement," sir ? Mr. Donothing--Why, yes, she says your business is increasing so that you can soon support us in the stvle we both like. ' " ' < IN in the Black Maria--Tags--Wot makes you sit up so kinder stiff an' unsociable? Rug* (loftily)--Why, I ain't no common bloke, I ain't. Mr. Vangoulderbilt had me arrested for beggin'! "How's THE world using you?" "Badly." "Lost money?" "Yes; I'm the victim pf Brown's failure." "I didn't know Brown had failed." "Yes, he failed to pay me $25 that he bor­ rowed six months ago." YOUNGIFLEDGLEY has been'presented to Miss Debutante and for the last ten minutes has been unable to think of anything to say to her. Miss Debut­ ante (pleasantly)--And now let us talk of something else, Mr. Fledgley. MRS. G.--I hope you will excuse my husband for not attending your broth­ er's funeral. Mrs. H.--Was he ill? Mrs. G.--No; but he had one of his silly fits on, and then he would laugh if you would shove a gas bill at him. MCFINGLE--How are^ou, Smith? I haven't seen you for a long while. How's your son, Jack2 Where's he been keeping himself for tbe last year? Smith (dolefully)--He hasn't been keeping himself. I've been keeping him. I woNDteR why it is," remarked old Snoodle, "that I should be continually visited by commercial agencies in reference to my financial responsibility. I am not asking credit anywhere." "True," said his friend, "but your only daughter is now 18." "I OSLY wish to say," feebly spoke a mangled passenger, as he dragged him- felf out from tinder the wreck made by a terrific railway collision, "that in my opinion, nobody is to blame for this ac­ cident" And he then peacefully breathed his last. He was a coroner. / ' NOT IN DATE. Now tho lambkin- WOOB the katydid, . , c • A jjd the young cnlf learns to bl&t, • And the dudolat sheds liis checkered pants And gets a now spring hat; jAnd tho poet thaws hits frozen muse ;-- • And writes of rhyme and reason; --1 And--hush! von crazy idiot, You're six months out of season. --Binyhamton Republican. THE Queen of the Household--Ha! come in, old mau. I'm glad to see you. Come down into the kitchen and have a smoke. "Wife's gone over to her moth­ er's and I'm all alone. "But I hear the piano." "Oh! the ' servant girl had company to-night and we had to give up the parlor. That's the reason my wife went cut. Come right dowu to the kitchen. I'm mighty glad you called." To Cut Yankees' Throats. Toward the end of the year 1864, when Confederate hopes were drooping and the leaders were ready to clutch at almost any means that promised help, a party of four Poles made a proposition to the authorities at Bichmond that strongly attracted their attention. Be­ lieving, they said, iu the ultimate suc- cesn;of the cause of the South, they wished to bring their conntrymen wan­ dering through Europe to the Southern States if transportation were provided and iv;suitable territory set aside on whicb they could form a settlement for t"h©(perpetuation of their home customs and traditions, but subject, of course, to! the-laws of the Confederate States. Irt'ts eturn for such transportation and territory the able-bodied would be will- iug to enter the Confederate service and assist in establishing the Confederate Government. Jefferson Davis and Judah P. Benjamin at once took up the mat­ ter and arranged to return the Poles to Europe to look up recruits and provide them with abundant means. The sum of $250,000 was given for that purpose, payable, however, through Gen. McBae, ageut for the Confederate States in Europe, with the promise that fourfold more would be forwarded could the few thousand troops expected to arrive be increased to 15,000 or 20,000. The scheme, however, did not work al­ though the Confederate agents in Europe pushed it onward. Polish sym pathy was not so active for the South as it was represented and even if it were the four Poles whp embarked in the enterprise were not capable of di recting it. After much correspondence and numerous interviews with men of real influence in Europe the Poles com­ menced to quarrel among themselves and the scheme ended in a farce. Out of $250,000 appropriated to hire foreign­ ers to cut the throats of the Yanks only $3,641.50 was expended. ' 0 ' Hencc His Generosity. Rev. Dr. Primrose--I. was detfgftt&ct to receive those cast off garments for the poor of my parish. It BIIOWS that there is still some hope of youi; becom­ ing a Christian. • - - Brown--Well, yon see the old olothes man offered meouly six shillings for the lot, and I would sooner have thrown them in the fire than be cheated like that.-- Epoch. BASHFCLNE88 is very becoming some­ times to a young man, but it is well for him to get over it if he is going to board. 0ne Bottle. i ;« FOBT WAT**, Ind., August 23.18S& ' Rheumatic SfrarjUfc. Jackson, jtltdb: ": GKNTI.EMEM: Havins? flittered »Bv«rSt£ for some time wftft rheumatism, so that I was unable to work. Messrs. L>rt»ie" & Bro. recommeiMlo l HibbnrcTs llheum&tic Kviapt. After takintr one boltl« I wa$ entirely euriwL' I h«v« recommended your renvdies quently to tiiy U loads with like results.* L. C, ZOLLINGER, / sk your druggist for it "r WE have porsoiaui knowledge that FTMI 7 above statement is eorreet. C PilEIER &i IiRO., DLU^gtStfc . j Shorn Like SheepT ^ demand for false bair wasneill greater than at the present day. The. London import alone amounts to live tons annually, and Paris dealers harvest up­ ward of two hundred pounds a ye J| mostly black hair, and is collected ilk Brittiiny and the south of France. Tho market cannot be t>upplied bv cb^nce clippings; there must be more ample i». sources end regular seasons for obtaining the supply. There are itinerant dealers who purchase hair, paying for each switch from one to five fiancs, according lo its weight and beauty. The peasant girls are quise willing to part with their hair, and will accept silk, laces, or cheap iewelry, wiih which the peddlers are well sup plied. The latter attend the fairs and the merrymakings, as the b( st places to ply their vocations, und the girls bring their hair to m rket just as they wonia peas, cabh&ge, etc. The girls stand in a ring waiting to shorn, with their caps in their hands and their long hair hanging to their waists. The deuler, who is often a man, but some­ times a woman, ties, up each crop of hair in a wisp and tosses it into a basket. The girls sacrifice some of- their vanity along with their hair, but it does not worry them long. They want the money, feel rnqre comfortable, and the close-litting caps they wear hide the loss. Then, too, wjll it not grow again? The hair is dressed and sorted in the wholesale houses, and sold to the hair- workers at ten francs a pound. The retail dealer in turn obt&ius a good profit, knowing that if one customer refuses to pay it, another will readily buy. Light hair is almost exclusively a German prod­ uct. The dealers claim lo bo able to distinguish the nationality of the hair, whether French, or German, English, Irish. Scotch, or Welsh. Nay, more, they assert that they can name the province in which the hair was gatherer!--even be­ tween two districts of Central Franee, though they may not be many miles npart. The difference is so very slight that the ordinary physiologist would not be able to detect any. Take Care! There la*Danger In allowing inactivity of the kidneys to grp>w through neglect. The deadly shoals of Brteftt'S disease and diabetes will wreck the goodly bark of health if it is allowed to drift rudderless up­ on t hern. The bladder, too, if inactive, Mid ju­ dicious medication does not speedily direct the Iwlurtoward the port of safety, will be whelmed by the quicksands of disease. In selecting a diuretic, let your choise fall upon Hoatetter'a Stomach Bitters, which stimulates the rensl organs without irritating and exciting them, two effectB to be apprehended from the unmedi- cated stimuli largely resort3<l to,. These have a tendency to react prejudicially.. The Bitters in­ vigorate the kidneys and bladder, in common wi h the nerves and the digestive organ a, and BO aftord laoting aid. It also affords dual assist- . auce in preventing and curing intermittent and remittent fever. Biliousness, constipafcioa ' rheumatism it also subjugates. ' *" v. ' A Word of Caution. . He had carried my sachel down to the depot from the hotel at Birmingham, Aid., and, still carrying it in his hand, he st t olled about and got in the way of %• baggage truck being pushed by hnother colored man. T-he latter came to a stop and indignantly demanded: " Yo' pusson, dar--what yo' doin'?* » "Who's a pusson, sah?" "Yo' is!" "Be a leetle keerful, sihf I ha'n't dun . used to bein* 'dressed in flat sort ©' way!* "Shoo! Do yo* know who I w.'" . "An' do yo' know who I is?" "I represents de baggnge depnrtmentlBC dis yeje railroad, sah! f' "Hn! An'1 represents de public what is rich 'nuif to hev any baggage to travel wid, sah! Boy! doan' yo' go an' make any mistake. If yo' do dar'll be a mighty skeercity o' baggage in yo' baggage de­ partment!" Kissed Another Man's Wife. "You scoundrel," yelled young Jacob Green, At his good neighbor, Brown-- "You kiaaod my wife upon the'street-- I ought to knock you down." "That'« where you re wrong," good Brown plied, i*' In accents mild and meek; ,* v "I kissed her, that I ve not UenieiL * • : Bjjt kissed her on the cheek, and I did it because she looked sonio -- the very uicturo of beauty ami health. What Is the secret of it?" "Well.* replied Green, "siuc;o you ask it, I will tell you: Sho uses l)r. Pioree'.n Favprite Pre­ scription. I accept your apology. Good­ night." "Favorite Prescription" is the only remedy for tho delicate derangements and weaknesses of lomales, sold by druggists, under a positive guarantee of giving satis- laot ion in every case, or money paid tor it returned. FOR biliousness, siok headache, indices* tion, and constipation,take Dr. Tierce's Pel­ let-. HEBEAFTER Australia is to make the ammunition for her army, which hitherto has all come from England. '•'J H M i % < m •MSk •X' •J PENSIONS ̂ RA^R^ PATKU K. O'FUUEIU, Atty.at Law.Vyashinstou. D.C. We euarantre a izood jiaylnS mn. «»..Position to every sradnate. can School ot Tcli-uraphy, Madison. Wis. [HIS PAl'KR «•«« WKIT1NO T» PATENTS K A. IJEIIMANN* \VuKliin$;toii, IX C. jfcfir'Seiid ior circular. TO ADVIBTIIIIB. MENTION THIS PATER PRICE-LISTS OF RUG M4CHINES. Patterns and Yarns, and Colored ' Pattern liook free. Agoit-i !la/ited. K, JUOSS St CO., Toledo, Ohio. ELYS CATARRH CREAM BALM CIean*e» the Nasal Passages, Allays Pain and Inflammation, Heals tlie Sores, Rettor^s the Sense* of Taste * and Smell. CATARHV, ! If FEVER maze tim8- miio-iii KaJ2 MOST men employ their 'flrat to make their last miserable. years TIT THE CURET HAY-FEVER A particle is applied imo each ooi-irii mid is utile. Price."*)een «at DruK*i>*««: b.v luail.r.ntiHterea, IjfU'tM. ELY JilJOTi iEKS. 5ti Wurivn Street. New \oI*. CAIN ONE POUND AF Day. A GAIN OF A POTTKD A T)AY IX THK J CASE OK A MAN WHO HAS BECOME "ALL J RUN DOWN," AND HAS 1SEGUN TO TAKE J THAT REMARKABLE KLES1I PRODUCER, ISCOTT'S EMULSION j OF PURE COD LIVER CH WITH J Hypophosphites of Li^e & Soda > IS NOTHING UNUSUAL. THIS FEAT | HAS BEEN PERFORMED OVER AND OVER I AGAIN. PALATABLE AS MILK. EN- I DORSED BY PHYSICIANS. SOLD BY AIX DRUGGISTS. AVOID SUBSTITUTIONS AND I IMITATIONS. , - 'H v: "fef1:).