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> U T - f • ' 1 : r- •« •H" PLAINDE THB FALLING or' XJUBOMK& ; the din of commereA, tbofe tlte pliaor and rattle Oflabor disputing with rlchH, ol aneiehiete* 1 brent s aud groans. Above tho hurry ejid bum to and mows of that •'•'•fliil bktodlcB* bat tte , wSere wen are fight'ng tar dollar*, I tear U10 falling of throne*. 1 Me uo savage host, I bear no martial dram­ ming, But down in the dust at our feet lie the uae- Jesg crowns of kings; And the mighty spirit of progress la steadily corning, coming. Ami the flag of oar Republic abroad to the world he flings. The universal republic where worth and birth are royal, Wlioro the lowliest born may climb on a self- wade ladder of fame; Whare the highest and proudest born, If he be not true and loyal, Shall And no mnsking title to cover or gild his shame. JfetVri th the bellow «f gun* and not lfith sabers , m trotting. • But with the growing minds ot men, la waged this hwordless fray, o While over the dim horizon the sun of royalty setting Lights with a dying splendor the humblest toiler's way. --JSU/i Wheeler Wilcox, in the Independent. COMEDY OF ERRORS. y* air frarcu blakk howland. :v M t "No, not a penny of mine do you in- - herit if you refuse to marry my ward," and John Wayland glowered at his >phew in a terrific way. "But, uncle, I have never seen the young lady, and--and I will not marry her,' there!" retorted Fred Wylie de­ fiantly. "You won't, eh?" ejaculate^ the sur­ prised schemer. "We shall see about that, sir, we shall see about that di­ rectly. You will marry my ward, or I will cut you off without a shilling. Now, tell me why you refuse to do as I wish." "Because " Fred hesitated, flushed to the cluster­ ing rings of chestnut hair, and stopped in utter confusion. "Because you fancy yourself in , lore with some one else, I presume," cried the uncle, wrathfully finishing the sen­ tence. "Yes," admitted the young man, re­ luctantly. "May lask this fascinating fair one's name?" with calm sarcasm. "I don'know," answered Freddcsper- ately. "Laugh^at me as you will. I met her on the train--she was alone--I befriended her----" • "And lost your heart! Ahem! Well, it isn't as bad as it might lie. Men es­ pecially of your age, are not apt to pine for an ideal when there are plenty of lovely, loving maidens to be had for the asking," and now John Way land smiled with such superior wisdom that his nephew longed to ask him why he had never secured one of these willing para­ gons for his daily helpmeet As if reading his thoughts the merchant con­ tinued, "I never had time to think of marriage, but you can do so. I am, as yon know, a very wealthy man, and I have given my life to the work of ac­ cumulating these riches for you. In asking you to accept Lelia also, I am only giving additional wealth into your hands, with the priceless gift of a pure, loving wife. She has money enough without any of mine, and a beautiful home where she would welcome me at any time, but I want, the companionship of both my children, and your marriage with her is the most senaible wav of se­ curing it." "And so, lit youlf selfishness, you would wreck one, perhaps two livfes?" asked Fred, hotly. ' "Tut! tut! You are sure to like each other. I have kept you apart so that you might not spoil my plan by child­ ish dislikes and quarrels. Think well before you decide, boy," and he gave his nephew a shrewd look which plainly told how great he considered the temp­ tation. J I "My mind is made lip--t shall nof change it," answered* FtA, sturdily, "But stay. What if thai precious ward of yours should refuse to marry me ?" "Refuse to marry you!" repeated John Wayland as if the idea, was a new and altogether improbable one. "\\T©H ' if she does, you are free to marry whom you please, provided that you will get a wife who will take me as a boarder, half the time at least." "You are in earnest? You mean it, uncle?" asked Fred, eagerly. "Did I ever say what I' did not mean ?" cried the merchant, tartly. "Go now, and don't come again until you can tell me that you have come to your senses in this matter!" so John Wayland turned to his ledger, while his nephew went to his rooms with an eager hope. He entered his chamber in a heedless hurry, locked the door and seated himself at his desk. Sheet after sheet of paper was written over and discarded, until at last he held a page before his eyes, and read it with grim satisfaction in every line of his handsome face. Exercising the priv­ ilege of a scribe we will read what he had written: "HONORED MISS:--Acting upon my unelo'S command. I offer you my hand, although my heart is V1 another's keeping. Will you marry me? ^ "Your guardian's obedient nephew." "There! I don't even know her name, but uncle will be only too glad to forward it for me. I will not oblige him by. asking her fddress, neither will I disgrace my name by signing it to that proposal," and he hastened to con­ vey the hated epistle to his uncle. *'8o you have come to yonr senses!" ejaculated the merchant joyfully, as Ffod entered the office with the letter. "Ah, yes. I will forward it to her at tor 3 Call to-morrow your an- to! 50 eel mostly «and?i -*fy; \ once. swer." As the dcor closed the merchant leaned back in his chair and laughed until the tears rolled down his wrinkled cheeks. "What a MM of cross-purposes!" he gasped at last, when he was almost purple in the face, and his breath nearly gone. "I've never told either of them ttie other's name. I've boarded just so that they should not have a chance to meet. I've contrived all ways to prove my title as a successful match-maker, and I think the days of mv probation are drawing to a close." Alas for human hopes! The next post brought a letter frdfat his ward en­ closing one for Fred. The merchant walked the office floor in excitement, and viewed the letter wistfully. At last Fred entered. "Open it quick! And tell mo what she says," cried his uncle. : Fred's face was a study m* he took the letter and tore it open slowly, as if dreading to read his fate. But fear gave to joyful relief as hi read aloud: "Hokobep Sir:--Marry you? No, never!" That was all; there was not even a letter of signature. "You hear that, air!" shouted Fred triumphantly, waving the epistle around his head. "She refuses me * "She refuses yon!" repeated his unele incredulously. "I. don't believe it!" but he was foroed to believe the evi­ dence of his own eyes as he read the fateful letter again and again. "Remember your promise!" cried Fred again. "I am now free to seek a wife for myself." "I suppose so," answered John Wav- land in a dazed way. "And when you find your unknown love marry her at once, and get a home for me as soon as possible. If you can't find her, take some one else as quieklvas you can. I have the dyspepsia terribly, and an­ other year of boarding-house fare will kill me. I won't stand it any longer." "All right, uncle," responded Fred, brightly, but the order was far easier to accept than to obey. It was more than three months before John Wayland's heart was made glad by a letter from his roving nephew, and, during this time, his ward had been away on a visit, so that he was lonely and blue enough. "Hurrah, uncle, I've found her!" so the letter began. "She has consented to become Mrs. Fred Wylie, and we will be there in three weeks to begin our home. You can get the house ready, and meet us at the depot." "Bless the boy," murmuiesd the mer­ chant, wiping his eyes suspiciously. "Bless the boy--I wish it was Lelia though. Get th® house ready ? So I will. Nothing shall be wanting to add to their comfort. Bless the boy--I hope I shall like her," and with this somewhat mixed soliloquy he went on his errand with a remarkably warm and generous heart. "It must be as good as Lelia's home," he mused, rejecting house after house as not quite up to nis standard of ex­ cellence. "But, dear me, why can't folks do as they are expected to?" After a weary search a house was se­ lected, the deed was signed conveying it as a marriage gift to the wife of his "well beloved nephew, Fred Wylie;" generous orders were given to the fur­ nishers. Then came fresh vexations. Two tel- grams were handed to him simultane­ ously. The first read: "Will be with you by the 4 o'eloek train Tuesday. Never mind the house. "Feed." And the second ran thus: "Dear Guardy, I am married. Will be at home Tuesday on the 4 o'clock train. "LKLIA." "How am I to meet them both," groaned John Wayland. "I must not seem to slight either, especially on their wedding return. I will lock the door, put down the curtains, and they may think that I hive absconded--died-- any thing. I don't care what. Gad! I wish I had been married years ago my­ self. I selected the hardest way to get a home after alL" Accordingly he remained in his dark­ ened office, and listened to the rumble of the train as it left its living freight and went rushing towards other homes. How his lonely heart yearned towards his wayward, adopted children, now so happy in their newly found joy that they would not miss him. < A knock sounded at his door. "Oh, you are there, uncle! I see you through the keyhole, you forgot to cur­ tain that," cried Fred's merry voice. "What does this mean ? What are you mumping here for? You didn't get the house of course. Mary has one of her own in town. I didn't know it when I wrote you, and I really forgot to write again. Come, it is nearly dark and Mary is waiting to see you. Why didn't you meet us? What--is--the-- matter? And, in answer to this avalanche of questions, John Wayland's perplexity was told; " Whew! Married, too, is she ? Came on our train ? Then that's who that billing and cooing couple were. Gad! I'm glad I didn't marry her, uncle," and Fred laughed as though some recollec­ tion of his journey pleased him im­ mensely. "I will go with you for a short time. Fred, and then I must go to Lelia," said John \fayland, grimly resenting his nephew's merriment, and they en­ tered the carriage waiting at the curb. It was quite dark when they stopped before a stately mansion in a distant part of the city, and went up broad steps which seemed strangely familiar to the merchant, but the gathering darkness and his own perplexed mind were rather confusing. Fred led him to the lighted parlor immediately. A lady, still clad in a light traveling suit, awaited them. "Lelia! Then I was not Imistaken in the locality!" ejaculated John Way- land, while a glimmer of the joyful truth flashed through his mind. "Lelia?--no, May," corrected Fred, looking from one to the other. "Both, Fred, dear," said the bride, nestling by his side and patting his arm in nervous amusement. "I was Lelia May Pavson." "Then you are my uncle's ward, after all ?" gasped Fred. "As you are my guardian's obedient nephew. Ha, ha! What a comedy of errors," cried Lelia merrily. "You knew me all the time, you sly witch," cried Fred. "No, not at first," protested his bride, "and--and when I found you out I kept still, fqr, Fred, darling, I wanted to be sure you were not proposing at your uncle's command." "You could not escape your fate," said the overjoyed uncle and guardian sol­ emnly. "You children have been play­ ing at cross-purposes, but it has ended as I resolved it should, after all, so let us be content. A house, newly and elaborately fur­ nished, was advertised secretly, and sold at bargain, but, to this day, John Wayland will not admit that the mar­ riage of his children, as he calls them, was any surprise to him, but boastingly declarer: "I always intended that it should be pot" ^ • Of Political Importance. Sibbertoa--Say, Crabberly, if the Australian system should be adopted and we should have secret voting and woman suffrage it would be grand for the old maids, wouldn't it? . Crabberly--Well, I don't Know. I heard Miss Wednever say yesterday-- on the quiet, you know--that she feared the introduction of a new term into politics. She dreaded the thought of being called one of the ballot girls, you know. THE easiest money to spend and the hardest money to save is that which we have not ;et earned.--New York Ledger. ; A SUGAR-BOWL-- Sweet gui ing in a bowling-alley. STOAHGE LUCK IN Till DIGGINGS. •f taMN Cp» and Downs Hn ttut Fortune* of Miner* It is impossible for any one at all familiar with mining adventures in the Boekies from 1860 t > 1870 to deny the existence of that mysterious aud capri­ cious influence on men's lives and for­ tunes known as luck, and it seemed to attach itself mainly to those who knew the least and were accepted as the fools of the camp, thus illustrating the old \ proverb, "a fool's luck." Old aud ex­ perienced miners quit locations in dis­ gust after months of labor, and these we'«e afterward taken by men who scarcely knew the difference between a shaft and a level. After a week's scrambling work the latter become rich men. One instance I can give: A man named Relf, a forty-niner, opened a prospect hole on Goose Creek, within a mile of the Idaho border. It seemed to pan out well at first, and he spent $6,000-- all he had in the world-- in development; but the vein began to pinch out, and Relf gave it up. An­ other man took it with the same result Then one of the best miners in the Ter­ ritory put in $3,000, and after months of hard work shot himself in despair at hi3 ill-fortune. The location was there­ after dubbed the "Last Chance" by neighbors. It Hy a year, when a, man named Gadsen came to Silver City. He was looked on as.a harmless and de­ cidedly weak-minded fellow, and he annoyed Col. James Fisher, a well- known mine owner, by constantly ask­ ing his advice about locating, until Fisher told him to ' trye the "Last Chance," aidding: "You're just fool enough to have nigger luck." Gadsen started off to get a team and supplies, and amid the jeers of the camp left for "Last Chance." Four days afterward his team was seen com­ ing into camp on a dead run, and it stopped at Col. Fisher's office. Gad­ sen, with a bag on his back, entered, and, drawing a chunk of rock, laid it before Fislier, who examined it and said: "Well, Gadsen, you have the' proverbial fool's luck. That will assay $3,000 a ton. You've struck it rich this time." An examination of his mine showed that.only a foot of rock Jay between the last owner and un- ooined wealth, and this Gadsen broke through the first day. A syndicate was formed and Gadsen sold out for $55,000. The new owners took out $25,000 in three weeks and then struck a niass of porphyry rock that it would have taken all the money in San Francisco to remove. No trace of the lost treasure was ever found, and the "Last Chance was permanently abandoned. Gadsen's good luck fol­ lowed him. He left the mountains, his money. The history of the firm of Bowors & White is one of the romances of the mining camps. Sandy Bowers came into the Washo district about 1860. He cooked for a party of freighters, and his wife, a tall, bony woman, told for­ tunes, sold lnckv numbers, and inter­ preted dreams for the credulous miners. With some of the money made in this way her husband took up a claim and made money, and for the next ten years had continued good fortune. He was grossly illiterate aud no business man, but still he prospered. He broke fdl the gamblers in the Territory, and no one cared to play with him. His partner, Lorenzo D. White, was a different kind of a man. He neither drank or gambled, but was mad as a hatter on the subject of religion, be­ lieving himself to be John the Baptist. In business matters, however, he was shrewd and enterprising, and his luck was phenomenal. Whatever he touched turned into gold. It was noted that whatever Bowers sold turned out well for his customers, while it was reversed in White's dealings, although he was believed to be an honest man. The mystery was as to what he did with his gains. Ho depleted his bank account every now and then, drawing out large sums in coin and then disappearing for a time. It was believed that he buried his wealth in the mountains, and he was followed and dogged by the camp ruffians, who would have taken his life for a dollar, but it was part of his good fortune to escape. The end came at liast. Sandy Bowers got involved with a party of Eastern adveuturers and lost $300,000. After this he went down hill rapidly. He had at one time half a million in the bank of California, but this all wept. He became a drunkard, and one day got together a few dollars to bny an outfit. With a borrowed mule he started for Nevada, and was, no doubt, killed by the Ute Indians, as he was never heard of again. White was not known to have any serious losses, but he. too, disappearefd. He was supposed to have gone back to Maine, his native State. Inside of a year he came iuto the little mining town of Mercedes, on the Rio Grande River, Colorado, ia rags and exhausted from hunger and fatigue. He was followed by a shaggy Mexican burro, about as big as a Newfoundland dog. This car­ ried his miner's outfit--a pick, pan and shovel. He was at once recognized and relieved. He went to an assayer and showed a large mass that looked like burned limestone, but which evi­ dently contained gold. The assay as­ tonished the expert, and he declared that the specimen showed 80 per cent, of gold. In an hour's time the camp was wild with excitement, and this was the be­ ginning of the craze known as " White's Cement Mine." At first the old man refused to tell the location, and some of the ruder spirits advocated hanging, but, after much persuasion, he agreed to pilot a party to the spot. The next day Mercedes was deserted. Eve: sry- body joined the procession. After eight days' rugged travel they reached Green River Valley, in Utah. While ascend­ ing a narrow ravine a volley of rifle bails, fired from the chapparal, killed three of the foremost of the gold hun­ ters and stampeded all the animals. The Ute Indians had been awaiting them. In the confusion White escaped and the party broke up. From time to time White would reappear in mining camps with a fresh supply*of his gold- bearing cement, but his mind was clearly gone and he could give no in­ formation that was of the slightest use. i About 1870 a party of prospectors on their way through the Colorado River Valley, in Southern Utah, found in the wildest parfcof the mountains the body of an old man with a beard reaching to his waist. Around him were a number of specimens of his gold oement and a quantity of gold coin. He had evi­ dently died of starvation, as there were no indications of food to be seen. By means of a large diary on his person he was identified as the once millionaire, Lorenzo D. White. This diary con­ tained numerous directions to find land­ marks, but these were unintelligible jo the readers, end his mine and buried gold may still reward some fortunate seeker. Mr. James Tftus, of Sacramento, CaL, who is now head of one of the great hydraulic mining companies in that State, owes his fortune to the fol­ lowing circumstances: In 1864 he was working at his trade as a stone mast n in St, Paul, Minn., when a man namid Eldridge failed, owing him $175 in wages. This debtor left the city, and a year after Mr. Titus went to Carson City, Nev., where he met Eldridge. who told him that* he had not prospered and had no money, but could get some mining stock for money due him, .and this he would give Titus iu satisfaction of the debt. Mr. Titus took 100 shares of Corn- stock mine, valued at about a dolla" a share. It was original stock, and in a few months the great deposit of silver that was to make the fortune of Flood, O'Brien, Fair, and John Mackay was discovered. The stock began to go up and Mr. Titus sold out for $3,000 per share. In two years he was a million­ aire by fortunate investments in Crown Point. But success of this kind was demor­ alizing to most of the pioneers. Johnny Skey died as Sandv Bowers did, a broken-down prospector, after rioting away five millions, and Comstock, the original discovery of the Virginia City Eldorado, died a poor man. If we are ever to produce a distinct and national school of fiction, the inspiration can be best found in the wonder-working his­ tory of the Western mining camps of twenty years back. --Fhi ladelphia Times. ' • His Reward fer Feeling with a Lady's Garter. It was at the Old Guard ball. The gentleman was an army officer of more than ordinary rank. In appearance they are well matched. She is a daz­ zling blonde, with a figure that can dis­ count any one-armed Venus de Milo I ever saw. The names of the two have been coupled together not a little, but it is safe to predict that such remarks wiil cease from now on. It. happened this way. They had just danc*d a quadrille and returned to their seats in a palm-decorated cornet quite out of the way of the madding crowd. What he was saying when an­ other man came to claim her for the next dance is immaterial, but when his following gaze lost the lovely form in the orowd. he glanced manlike at hi* boots and in a minute his eyes were riveted on a dainty light-blue gold- clasped article that lay on the floor not a yard from where his fair partner of the previous minute had been seated. As he recognized its character all the be-ruffled courtiers of the court of the English King seemed to troop before him and honi soit qui mahj peine trembled on his tongue as he thrust the pretty thing into an inner pocket. Poor fellow, he could not stand pros­ perity. During the rest of the evening he was so idiotically happy that he failed to notice the disturbed and fur­ tively searching glances that the pretty woman, cognizant of her loss, every now and then cast into odd oorners where a loose article might have been brushed. On the way home a confession of his newly-found treasure rose to his lips a dozen times, only to be postponed. When at last he stood in the hall of her house she looked so pretty that he could resist no longer. He held one of her gloves in his hand. It required no jug­ gling skill to take his blue and gold treasure and slip it into the glove. It was better, he thought, to give it to her than tell her. He didn't know how much the poor girl had gone through since he had picked up the dainty bauble. Just as he was beginning to tell her good-night he handed back her glove. In a moment the form that had been full of yielding grace grew rigid. One pretty hand clasped the glove so closely that it didn't take all the keen intuition of the girl to understand that the long-lost and much-needed article was within. No sooner had she realized that daring all her suffering this man had possessed the article than her spirit rose in arms, sentiment vauished, and. with the ejaculation, "Oh, you horrid brute!" she fled up the stair-way, leav­ ing him to his reflections and a large chunk of mortification. The next time he called she sent word that she was "out" and the young officer's companions don't think it pru­ dent to include garters in their con' venations held before the hero of this tale. The Graceful Minuet. The minuet which Strauss is about to introduce to the partial excluaion of his own waltz was the first ball dance which had a really world-wide popular­ ity, according to the Berliner Borsen- Courier. It Is a slow, dignified dance, an appropriate product of the time and place of its birth. It is very old. When Don Juan d'Austria went incognito from Brussels to Paris nothing he saw dur­ ing his famous trip excited his admira­ tion half so much as the grace with which the beautiful Margaret of Bur­ gundy danced the minuet. Other beaus and titled dandies of the same period also put in writing flattering allusions to the beauties of this dance. Never­ theless. it is exceedingly doubtful that the minuet of those times was the original model of the minuet of to-day. The minuet, which very recently has appeared in the Parisian salons, was in­ vented by the French ballet master, Gardel, or rather was evolved by him from a much older dance for the cele­ bration of the marriage of King Louis XIV. "Minuet of the Queen" is the title which the gallant Gardel gave to his new dance in honor of Marie An­ toinette. The figures of a dance of the time of Louis XIV, were utilized by Gardel as the basis of his new minuet The old dance, with which every court ball of Louis XTV, was opened, con­ sisted mostly therein that the gentleman and lady faced each other, moved a few steps forward and backward in time with dignified and sonorous music, bowed deeply, and returned to their places. This dance was called the "Braule." It was succeeded by the gayotte, in which "the gentleman kissed the boquet of flowers, and with a deep bow handed it to his partner." From this gavotte Gardel derived the minuet. The famous dancing master, Pecourt, introduced an important innovation by changing the S figure into the Z figure, which is still danced. The minuet is the only dance which preserves the courtly dignity of the old regime, and therefore has ever been regarded as the most aristocratic of dances. The most popular of minuet music is from the first finale of Mozart's "D«b Juan." This music is the model of all other music to which the minuet has been danoed of late years. Graphic*! Outers, Fold your map of the United States from top to bottom and then across,and the intersection of the creases thus made will mark the spot where, on a gentle, eminenee overlooking the placid Republican River, with the great mili­ tary post of Fort Riley to the left and the spires of Junction City, Kan., peeping above the distant tree tops to the right,stands the simple shaft erected to the memory of Major E. A. Ogden, /the hero of the cholera plague in 1855. Here, also, according to the govern­ ment surveys, is the geographical center of the Union. Though the government has fixed it, and correctly, there, this same geographical center seems pos­ sessed of the instability of the legendary Irishman's flea, and manipulated by enterprising boomers, hops from one locality to another with surprising ease. No sooner does a settlement fancy it­ self stricken with the symptoms of a coming boom than it begins to examine itself for the .attributes of greatness. Prospects for securing a railroadjor the county seat, indications of petroleum,in the creek or of coal underlyiug the town, tyie expected visit of some bar­ gain-hungry capitalists, exemp ion? from cyolone3, water nasty tasting enough to be suspected of medicinal properties--all these are looked for, and in many cases, failing to find them, the settlement straightway proudly an­ nounces that it is the geographical center of the United States. The latest center is located at Cos- mopolis. Oklahoma. The discovery of its proximity was made by Col. Fergu­ son Pride, the enterprising real estate dealer, and was announced by him in a stirring speech in Hook's general store. It mattered little to him that several other settlements in Oklahoma, includ­ ing New Jerusalem, farther up the creek, also proudly boasted of beinp that same center, as had, at different times, about every ambitious settlement in eastern Kansas and southern Ne­ braska. The center in question would strike exactly on Col. Pride's lot, corner ol Broadway and Shinnewampus avenue, if the eastern half of Maine and the greater part of the 'Michigan peninsula were pared off from the map. Thej conld be well spared, for, as far as the Colonel could learn, the first produced only codfish or something and the lattei little but copper. Cottonwood sawdust would do as well as cod in fish-balls ano no self-respecting citizen ever used cop­ per bullets, at least Col. Pride had "never heard of any." Other arguments, equally as convinc- ing, were advanced by the speaker, and, with one exception, all present were unanimous in allowing that the Colonel was correct. The single objector, * gentleman from New Jerusalem, wat convinced by the arguments as far at the} applied to Oklahoma in general, but was of the opinion that they clearly showed that New Jerusalem and not Cosmopolis was the geographical center. Objection and objector withdrawn at the same time, leaving the oenter of the Union behind. At last accounts it was still at Cos­ mopolis, though the celestial city proudly boasted of having one just as good. But, filled with the faith that will move mountains, the enterprising boomers ol some other locality will soon move the geographical center of the Union some­ where else.--Tom P. Morgan, ifi Neu York Mercury, 4 1 • The Love of Beauty* Miles out from the town whioh hat growu up around a certain famous group of springs, in a little one-roomed hut in the pine forest, says a lady, I had i rather touching little experience. ] was walking with a gentleman whe lived in the town, and who had wished to show me a certain picturesque rock in the neighborhood of this cabin. We came out into the clearing neai the house just at the noon-day dinner time of the family, and when we stopped at the door to get some water, we were cordially invited to stay to din­ ner. There was nothing but beans anc saleratus buscuits. and the mistress ol the cabin took snuff continually, as she ladled out the beans, so I declined the invitation to dinner on the ground that my father was expecting my return tc the town. But before the woman began to "take up" the dinner, I sat for a moment resting in her "parlor," a narrow space at one end of the cabin, between the two big log bedsteads. This place she had beautified with a strip of bright rag carpet, a "real store chair," and small "store table." Above this on the wall hung a sort of picture made o; scraps of colored paper, all in a deej varnished frame with glass before it. "I want you just to look at <this, and see how purty 'tis," said the hostess. 1 looked at it attentively, and being pressed for words of admiration took re­ fuge in the evasion, "I don't see how you ever learned to do it! I'm sure 1 couldn't make one like it." "I'll learn you," she said, with beaming face, while her husband, fronc his place at the "kitchen" end of the room said "Sho!" to her enthusiasm "I'll learn you real cheap. You'll take lots of comfort making it, and having it.. I can't purtend to tell you how much comfprt that beautiful work is tc me, and to feel I made it all my owe self, too! It's called passe-partout, t C "It cost me ten dollars to learn how, but 'cause it's so purty I'd be willing to learn you for t*5P. My old man could tetch me to town on the ox's cart, and you'd probably learn in two or three lessons." She was so eager to spread the know' ledge of her art that she begged tc teach me for nothing when she found me refusing, and it was only when I as sured her that I was soon going away from the springs, and really had not the time to learn how to make "passe­ partout" that she ceased entreating me to acquire the art that she had found "such a pent heap of comfort." iZZl THE confectioner is the fellow who can be relied upon fey candied cril --Rochester * * I 4 , f. f ' j?J • ; V '•m Free Bides. The slot has become an "institution" in this country. It is found everywhere, applied in all sorts of ways. Hally White, a bright boy who went from Chicago to live in California, had never happened to, see a street-car with­ out a conductor, although he was fa­ miliar with the principle by which, with the aid of a "nickel/ one cam get all sorts of things. So the other day, when his mother took him with her on an errand to a part of Oakland which made necessary a ride in one of the "bob-tail" cars, Hally had a new experience. When he got home he told his sister about it. "Grace," said he, "nobody came for our fare, but mamma just put a nickel in the slot for each of us, and we got a ride for nothing!" A LONDON genius has invented a hot water apparatus to warm piano keys, ao that dainty flngeca ^awr «al-be I chilled. R-'-t ' i •tuners or Advertising. A scrap book of clippings from the advertising columns of the press reveals a mass of goodly bits of unconscious humor, of which only a few may be quoted here. From such a scrap book Are taken the following specimens. Possibly some of them are not so innocent of humorous intent as their source would wish to imply, bnt many of them must go as irrefutable evidence that Hibernianisms are not confined to the land which re­ joiced in its eminence as the birthplace of Sir Boyle Roche: "Eau de cologne water* and "gants de Suede gloves" are lnxnries which we are told may be oui*s at '"ruinously low prices." A Cliiueoe laundryman will "wash andiron a cellar with a cape for 2 cents," and will sell "tea and coffee at equally low rates." A safe company wishes a traveling agent. "28x18x8"-- dimensions which are hard to find among men capable of traveling and carrying sample safes about the country with theni, and for whom it is therefore considered neces­ sary to advertise. "A telanted, intelligent young man of many years experience wishes a position in a saloon as a liquor blender"---an in­ dication that benevolent Boston h*8 seut us something besides poets and pugilists. A keeper of a boarding-house wishes to rent a "room to a gentleman, large, airy and square." Among the "rooms to rent" is also found a companion advertisement to the famous one which announced that "two sisters want washing," since a too hasty landlady is responsible for the alluring statement that she has "a handsome room, with bath for two." It was possibly a printer's error that was responsible for the naive announce­ ment that "Mme. Blank has for rent a room for a single gentleman; beard very moderate." The landlord who advertises a flat, "with all the modern improvements, no children," demonstrates that he does not know whit "all modern improve­ ments" are; and may be set down as be­ ing fully as untrustworthy as the per­ son who wishes to sell "an enormously profitable business for a mere song." "No bargains at this store," is candid, but sensational; and one may reason­ ably distrust the coal dealer who asserts in big black letters that his "tons weigh 2,000 pounds," and that his "ooal gives out heat." "Misfits bought and sold" strikes the reader as a foolish bit of candor on the part of the advertisement tailor, and when we read "that "we cannot begin to supply the demand for our $5 pants" one begins to wonder why "we" adver­ tise. A firm on the Bowery wants a "put- ter-on at good wages." A facetious young stenographer, who dots His i's and crosses his t's," and who wants a place in a large business house, is equalled only by the watchman out of employment, to whom "wages and sleep are no object." A physician advertises for an "office boy who can drive." A person * who does not give his business wishes to employ a good, steady man who has $200, at $12 a month. An author of "standing" will "write a book on any subject, for anybody, for * moderate pay."-- New York Sun. Claims Part of the Pension "I see that Joe Damon has juat got a Eat pension," remarked an Oxford ounty man to a Lewiston (Me.) Journal reporter, "I'm glad of it, and Joe ought to give me half of it, for if it hadn't been for me he would never have got it." "How's that, Jim," asked a bystander; "were you an important witness?" "No," replied Jim. "You see it was | this way. Joe and I both lived in the same Oxford county town when the war broke out, and later on we were lx>th drafted. I was working in the woods at the time for the Sandersons, up on the Magalloway River. It was getting along iu March when I received notice of it, and it was all hurry and drive about the camp, for we knew that sled­ ding would not last much longer, and of course every one was anxious to see the contract closed up as soon as possible. "When I told the boss that I had been drafted he told me to stick to my job till it. was completed and he would see that I didn't suffer by it. Well, our job was finally finished, and I got home one night after dark. Before morning there was a rap at the door, and in a few minutes I was under arrest and on my way to Auburn. While riding down there I told my story to the officer who had me in charge, %nd asked if it was a dead sure thing that I must go to the front. He told me that it looked very much as if I should. "Several of my townsman had skipped soon after being drafted, Joe among the rest, and until I appeared the town had lacked one of filling its quota; but he added: "I would rather see some of these fellows who have tried to run awav go into the service than you, and if we can find any of them within a week you may get off." "I was put in Auburn jail, and a letter from home, a day or two later, told me that Joe's wife had let on that he was secreted in an old logging camp. I held my tongue until the last day of the week was uncomfortably near and then I blowed on Joe. The next day he took my place, for the Sanderson's had been doing what they could for me, and I got off with a week in Auburn jail. "Really, I wanted to go into the army, but I had an invalid mother at home who could not bear the thought of my going--and that's the way I helped Joe Damon get his pension." , She Could Not Eat. An interesting surgical operation has been performed in Buffalo. It has saved a yountr woman's life, and has also made her a great curiosity, The patient is under twenty years old, and for some time had gradually been losing power to swallow her food. Finally, she could not even swailow her saliva. It was seen that something must be done, or she would die of starvation. A hole was cut into her stomach and a tube was inserted. For months this was the only means by which nourish­ ment could be given to her. Food would be chopped up and placed in the tube and then washed down with water. In the meantime another operation was performed, which reopened the natural passage from the mouth to the stomach. This passage, through some strange freak of nature, had grown together. Careful nursing has since made it pos­ sible for the patient to take food through her mouth once more. The tube in her stomach still remains, and it is understood that some museum manager has been trying to secure the woman, to place her on exhibition. WHEN it comes to a question of stay­ ing qualities the undertaker can lay 'em uwt,-Birmingham A HOBXSK0E0 Cha lafnlow Scbetn« for Laadtag gfclps ' Scar m Boeky Spaalifc Coawt. The mines of Onton, near Bilbao, North Spain, have long been celebrated for their richness in the yield of iron ores suitable for the manufacture of steel, but great trouble has heretofore been experienced in the shipment of the mineral on acconnt of the difficulty of placing it on board of the ships. En­ gland and the Continent are the great markets for this product. The coast adjacent to these mines is high and rocky, exposed to the full force of the sea, there being no harbors fn the im­ mediate vicinity. At the foot of the rocks there is a sloping shore which ex­ tends out to a considerable distance, with an even grade. It is upon this in­ cline that the remarkable railway we are about to describe has been con­ structed. Tho roadbed of the railway has a length of about 650 feet and a width erf twenty feet, upon which two sets ot parallel tracks, each three and one- quarter feet wide, are placed, constitut­ ing a four-rail railway. The grade is five feet to the hundred. The car which traverses this railway, upon which the ore is conveyed from* the cliffs to the ships, consists of a high metallic tower made in the form of a pyramid having a wide triangular base. The tower is mounted on wheels, which run upon the quadruple railway track be­ fore mentioned. The platform of the tower upon which the load of mineral is placed is about seventy feet high from the track, a height which is sufficient tc rise above the decks of ordinary vessels when the tower is run alongside thereof; and from the platform the discharge ol ? ^ the ore is made directly into the hold --l; of the vessels. This great rolling towel H is operated automatically. It is con- nected to the shore by means of* ^ strong wire cable, which passes over J| pulleys fastened to the rocks. At the land end of the cable there are attached some weighted cars that move up and Vgj down upon an incline. These form a Jf counterbalancing weight for pulling the tower when empty in toward the : shore. The mineral to be loaded upon the ' ! vessels is brought from the mines, ; which are not far distant from the coast, upon rope railways mounted upon posts. From the mineral dumps "3. upon the rocky heights the mineral is conveyed part way down the through a chute, the end of wliicn ps- ' jects beyond the cliff, and when the empty tower is drawn to shore Inrthe cars before mentioned it automatically | opens an end gate in the chute and ai» lows the mineral to drop upon the plat-:-|f form in a continuous stream until* Aa weight of ore sufficient to'overeome that 4 of the counterbalancing weight es weighted cars has fallen upon the plat- / ^ form, and when this takes place, the ?s|| tower, by its own gravity begins to move down the inclined railway, and the chute automatically closes. The tewet ̂ continues to glide down the inclined : ^ way through the water until it reaches ;f| the side of the ship, which is anohotwd fore and aft, and then by the throw of lever, the platform of the tower being ;;:i| inclined, the whole load upon the plat- ^ form is almost instantly deposited upon ̂ the ship, going down through suitable | slides into the hold thereof. As soon as the the discharge of the load place, the counterbalancing to draw the tower inward the shore, and thus the moving the tower back and matically, and automatically and discharging itself, is eixried on' the greatest success. ' ^ It is safd this railway operates even - when the sea is extremely rough. It ; <||j certainly is a bold undertakings and re- fleets the greatest credit upon its ooa- i structor, Mr. M. D. Alberto de"PalapiOL The platform carries for its load 106 "H tons of ore. It is said that 5,000 tons of ore per day can be put on shipboard by means of this apparatus, the total coat $10,000. --I atwma 8tor md aid. ** • ~ 5 '• 'I '• Badges sad Clans. ^ The following is a list of the clans oi ;i| Scotland, with the badge worn hy each clan respectively: Buchanan, birch; Cameron, oak. : J Campbell, myrtle; Chisholm, alder: Colquhoun, hazel; Camming, eommor. sallow; Drummond, holly; Farquhar- ;'!j| son, purple fox glove; Ferguson, pop- lar; Forbes, broom; Frazer, yew; Gor- don, joy; Graham, laurel; Grant, eran- ^ berry-heath; Gunn, rosewood; Lament, ;*|j crab-apple tree; Macalister, five-leaved J-jf heath; MacD'onald, bell-heath; McDon- iji nell, mountain heath; McFarlane, cy- v press; McDougal, cloudberry bush; Mac- 5§§ gregor, pine; Mcintosh, boxwood; Mac- kay, bulrush; McKenzie, dengraas; Mc- Kino on, St. John's wort; McLachlan, mountain ash; McLean, blackburg heath: McLeod, red whortleberry; Me- Nab, rose blackberry; McNeil, see ;,Vl| grass; McPherson, variegated boxwood: McQuarrie, blackthorn; McRae, fii club-moss; Munro, eagle's feathers- ic§| Menzies, ash; Murray, juniper; Oglivy, hawthorn; Oliphaut, the great maple; ^ Robertson, fern; Rose, brier rose; Ross, .vffj bearberries; Sinclair, clover ; Stewart,, the thistle; Sunderland, cat's-tail grass. ' fj The chief of each elan was accustomed •;>! to wear two eagle's feathers in his bon- I net, in addition to the foregoing badge || of his clan. A list of the clans, with badges and tartans, will also be found ^ in Logan's "Scottish Gael." The above is taken from Loaring's "Sayings, •£ Words, and Customs." ---Jm&i&m.. Notes and Queries. * Sevens Fitted Her. Yesterday a lady entered a shot store. ; "I want a pair of shoes," i "What size, madamf* "Fours." The clerk dubiously regarded her feet and then brought out a pair of Na 6 shoes. "These are a little tight," observed the ladv. "Havent yon easier pea of fours ?" The clerk brought oat a pair el sevens. "Those are just right," said the lady. "You are satisfied that thoae fit yoa, madam ?" "Oh, yes. You may send theaa to my address. Kindly see that I get thaw this afternoon." "Very well, madam." The next day the lady appeared vttk an ominous look upon her face. • "1 received the shoes," ahe began. "And were you satisfied with thM% madam?" "No, sir; I was not* "But you said they fitted yoe^ madam •>" The lady pressed her lips together "Yes." "But I do not understand * ?• "Well, sir, you did not teU me the shoes were number sevena! I do not wear that number! Kindly send oaee for the shoea» Goo4-4^» ate.* ^ t£ w.»'-...k,. ..aA, V . r&.v.s M iaii L.t. jbl* 3