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: * ? WHAT IS Ml wm mwis «. '• viv» Bawder? Under TCto «t«©p yntt* hands iu linta TPo fullv end vour n.»ii{M>or i> »y using iiiaiol. shot. or kuifo-- "To lio in ambush for yotir i»roy, V-AXM) steal liis wretuheJ lile away; *Fhi«is called murd«t at Alt times. ' -And treated as the worst of cftmes, - But there are otlier murders don?, . Murders in which no risk is run; *fo steal tljj joys of lifo away. And make it ileutli in life to stay ; . To kill vour neighbor's i>eace of mind By suM le wiles and deeds unkind ; , To bold the sufferer 'neath vour spm •^Till death were sweet and life is bift ' ' II not this murder? Yet 'tis done. And many n frenzied, tortured one Draws ngony with overy breath, And daily, liourlv, prays for death. They bear no -wounds the eye can »W| j * | But live in keenest misery, l<oV. Till worn out by despair and grief They find in death a sweet relief, f 'ark Weekly. >U • THE TRAPPER*' n 9ELBKKT s. nm < 1 . V " fir Jack BMffle, the subject of this ilfcetch, in dress, looks, and general out- tho typical character o£ the «e&rly hunter aiid trapper in the far j^est, and glories in the fact that the Onward march of civilization has failed • £o make any impression on his frontier Snoods and habits of life. His hair and Jbeard are long and shaggy, and for Rearing apparel he still clings with the ^greatest tenacity, to the skins of wild f ';*east9, like the untutored savage. Some of the adventures and hair- i Jbreadth escapes of this strange indi- v , Tidual are, without doubt, among the miost wonderful that have ever occurred 4n the West, and yet, strange as it may ieem, they have never yet appeared in i f>rint, for the reason, perhaps, that Bid- idle, though he can not read, has a su- fierstition that if his nr.me were to ap- : «ear in print it might bring him into * disrepute among his old acquaintances. * The ^old-timers" have a peculiar :: weverence for Biddle, and whenever his ^•fime is mentioned they shrug their •boulders and give up that his record of l&erilous deeds and thrilling adventures V, «*xcel those of any other settler in the Yellowstone region. Biddle was one of the very few white who followed the occupation of mting and trapping, from away back the '50s, right in the midst of the MIX reservation grounds, and while ley were the most deadly enemies of " i nee. Bat somehow he always man- «tged to elude their most crafty efforts - a»t capture. In his fights with the In- , . <dians he always came off victorious, •™=^~=«nd one or more of the copper- «jolored race was sure to bite the ^iflust through the unerring aim of his rifle. 4 Of course he was eagerly sought after Iby the Sioux, and every hour of his ex astence his life was in jeopardy, because ' jDf their determined hostility. However, Jbe had the pure "grit" and made a vow <fco be the mortal enemy of the tribe, a DW which he invariably kept. Nor did lay down his arms and smoke the i,<rf pence until the last Sioux was ffifrom beyond the hunting grounds i jificinity. chief cause of his hatred for that i was because the warriors of Sitting Jull and other chiefs molested his P>eaver and otter traps, stealing his ,|game and interfering with his chances , «f securing pelts and other trophies of , hunter's prosperity. in those days, to nse Biddle'a exprcs- " in, he slept with "one eye open," and ready at all times to meet any «Bmergency that might arise. Chaparral sand swamp were his principal places of ' -concealment, and the highest hill-tops jclie used for observatories. "Jerked" rjptaeat was his chief food, and when he ; *?was tempted to build a tire it was done Swith the greatest caution. 1 r£ite kept a strict account of every In- «diac he killed, but the number ^ps«r so large that his acquaintances, ^though they did not doubt his claims, Jaughed so heartily at the idea of one slaughtering so many Indians of •one tribe that he never forgave some of ;i;.i rthem for their apparent unbelief of his •statements; and now he invariably ; 'a-voids going into numerical details, but is fond of relating stories of how he played tricks on the crafty savages. At one time he occupied a small • i%lock-house full of port-holes, and :;an a commanding position, from •whence lie kept numerous war-parties bay, slaying so many of them, that P S they finally withdrew in disgust, leaving t-..-four hero the victor. On^e, however, thegr surrounded this little fortress of ^Bidlie's in such overwhelming num- %ers, and sent su6h a shower of lead • and arrows, tlat defence was useless-- hot arrows setting fire to his block 4iouse in many places. astonished at the nobe and sudden death of their companion, that they- snatched up the latter's body and fled in the wildest consternation. Biddle threw the secret door open and sprang alter them. Again he fired, and an­ other Indian fell mortally wounded, which caused the remaining two to re­ linquish their hold upon their dead companion and fleo for safety. For a long time after this incident Biddle was left almost undisputed master of tliis portion of the Yellow­ stone Valley--the Indians regarding him with that fear inspired by an evil spirit--and he hunted and trapped at his own leisure-without any danger of being molested. Biddle had a terrible adventure about two years later. He and two compan­ ions were out hunting. They had killed quite a quantity of game and had just made preparations for camping, when all at once they were set upon by a dozen Sioux, who raised a tremendous warwlioop, with the expectation ol frightening the trappers away from their prize. The latter, however, were experienced in Indian cunning and war­ fare, and stood their ground bravely. At the moment when the affray began Biddle was returning from the brush with a load of fire-wood. Six Indians sprang in front of him, hoping to cut him off from his companions and kill and scalp him at their leisure. Seeing that they had the advantage in numbers, Biddle threw down his wood and, snatching his large navy revolver from his belt, where he always kept it for just such emergencies, he darted into the brush. The Indians followed, but Biddle, being fleet of foot, gained on his pursuers and was soon secreted behind a dense chaparral thicket Three of the Indians turned to join their six companions who were waging war upon the other two trap­ pers, but the remaining three rushed on aftgr Biddle. He was now ready for them, and no sooner had they shown themselves around the edge of the thicket than he fired twice, killing two of them. The leader of the party, who was a perfect hercules, snapped his gun at Biddie, but it did not go off. Instantly he threw it down, and, drawing a long gleaming knife, with a frightful yell he dashed at his antagonist. By a dexterous stroke of his re­ volver, Biddle, in warding off the blow of the knife, belabored the right arm of his enemy so severely that he let the knife fall to the ground. Both now grappled, and a desperate struggle ensued to get pos­ session of the weapons, the revolver also having fallen beyond Biddle's reach. Down a steep bank rolled the two combatants, both unarmed, but, each endeavoring to prevent the other from breaking away and thus securing one of the weapons first. The advantage in strength was with Biddle, and he held his enemy firmly, determined that he shonld not get away. At last, by a asperate effort, Biddle raised his antagonist in the air and threw him to the ground violently. Be­ fore the Indian hud reoovered from the shock, Biddle had dispatched him with his own hunting-Knife. Returning to camp he found that his companions had driven off the wt>r party, and they were once more victorious. The red demons, on observing tbf ^progress of tlie flames, howled with the most keen and fiendish delight, sup­ posing that their pale-faced enemy would now surely perish. But Biddle was. prepared for just such an emergency. He had skillfully •constructed * secret underground pas­ sageway, aud into this he crawled and remained until darkn^s came on, when he came forth unharmed. The Indians never forgave Biddle for this trick, and ever after called him ""Fire Devil," and a great many ponies ^and numerous wives were offered by ; the chief to the warrior who would slay. ^ iiim. Biddle played another trick on them •which they did not soon forget. One -day he constructed a good-sized wig­ wam, and after arranging things as though he had made a hasty departure, left some poisoned pieces of meat on his table in the tent, which some of the In- • <lians discovered and ate, and in conse­ quence died immediately. They were some of the bravest warriors of the "Sioux, and the tribe went into mourn- Ing. For months afterwards Biddle was • practically beseiged, and the only way lie could obtain food was by slipping •out at night, and if he failed to kill any - igame he would gather a quantity of 4jerries and herbs. On returning from one of these ex­ cursions late one night he was greatly •surprised to discover signs which indi- , cated that hip home Was occupied by the enemy. How many Indians were inside he could' hot" tell, but be de­ termined to investigate. As usual he 1 tiad prepared a secret passageway to iiis abode, the existence of which no •<oae etse koew, or would be likely to •discover. Into this passageway lie •crept stealthily to make explorations. Through a crevice ip soon ascertained that there we*e four Indians, all well * warmed, aud watching for his return. Biddle could not depart from bis i <usual custom of shooting a Sioux when­ ever such a good opportunity was pre­ sented. So he drew a bead, through the crock, on the one he thought to be the leader, and fired. The Indian jumped high in the air, described a cir- •de, and loll de.04, shot through the • l»eart 50 v . The other three Indiana were so 1 Josh Billing' Philosophy. The man who is strictly honest, and nothing Qver, haint got enny thing more tew brag on than a pair . ov steelyards haz. Some ov the meanest cusses I ever knu had got tew be so honest bi long praktias that they kould guess at a pound. If a man haint got grit enuff tu stand the temptashun ov a gin cocktail, how kan he fight a real diffikulty when he gits a chance V Awl plezzures are lawful that don't end in making us feel softy. The man who kan be proud in the presence ov kings, humble when he communes with himself, sassy tu pov­ erty, and polite tu truth, iz one of the boys. Natur duz awl her big and little jobs without making euny fuss; the earth goes around the sun, the moon changes, the eklipses quietly occur, and the polly wog, silently and taillessly, be- kums a frog; but man kant even deliver a small 4th of July orashun without knocking down a mountain or two, and tareing up three or four primeval for­ ests by the bleeding rutes. Liberty iz a just mixture ov freedum, restraint, and protektion. Advice iz like kastor ile--easy enuff tu give, but dredful uneazy tew take. A good conscience iz a foretaste ov Heaven. Thare iz few, if enny, more suggestive sights teir a philosopher than tew lean against the side ov a wall and peruse a, clean, phatt, and well disiplined baby, spread out on the floor, trieing tew smash a hammer awl tew pieces with a looking-glass. Evry man kan boast ov one admiser. If yu would be suckcessfnl in corekt- ing the iniquity ov the people, fire at their vices, not at the people. The trew way tew abuze a drunkard iz tew brake hiz jug. Life iz a punktuated pardgraff; dis- seazes are the commas, sickness the semicolons, and death the full stop. No man iz ritch who wants enny more than what he haz got. Don't giv outward appearances awl the credit; the spirit ov a handsum l>oot iz the little fut that is in it.--New York Weekly. A CROSS OP FIRE. Howtb.ll.viir Hirkora Wm Called «» .fiwach. "I do not care to say whether or not men are directly called to preach," said the Rev. Mr. Hickers, "but I do know that some sort of influence is brought to bear." "How was it with'yourself ?" asked a young lady. "Well, if I tell you, you'll think that was superstitious," "Understand, now that it seems' in­ credible. I have not often told mv ex­ perience in this line, and when t do tell it, practical people are inclined to question my--well, they seem to think that I was too easily influenced." "Oh, do tell us!" exclaimed a half dozen voices. The old gentleman, after a moment's reflection, said: "Well, I will tell you. Let me see, it was about forty-two years ago. I was a young man of noisy habits. My father was a devout Christian, and often importuned me to mend my ways, but Satan had so strong a hold upon me that I laughed at sacred matters. One time in the fall of the year, a camp-meeting was organized a few miles distaut from my father's house. As it was a good place to swap knives, I was in regular attendance 1 One evening an old and palsied mae'> preached u sermon on the sinfulness Oi youth. My father must have mad* p. special request of him, for he seemed to preach directly to me. I began to grow nervous, like a prisoner arraigned before court, and after a while, feeling tliat I was convicted, I threw up my hands and sank down upon a bench. In a moment I was surrounded by persons who endeavored to whisper words of comfort in my ear, and among the singers who raised a song of hallelujah, I recognized my father's voice. It lias been said, and with much truth, that a very wicked person experiences a change more suddenly and with less agony than the half-good person, for the wicked penitent, having no reservation, withholding nothing, throws himself upon the mercy of a Savior and humbly begs forgiveness. I know I did. No man could have begged more piteously, but it is unnecessary to dwell on this part of my experience. I was converted chat night. People who crowded around to congratulate me said that I had made a bright profession. I shall never for­ get my father as he seized me. " 'Louis,' said he, 'to see you become a preacher would be balm to my old age. Then, indeed, would I think that my life had been a success.' 'I am not good enough, father,' I replied, 'and besides, I have not been called upon.' 'God must be the judge of that, my son, and I hope and pray that He may call you.' 'If He does I shall obey Him, but I must be certain.' "I did not like the idea of t»ecoming a preacher, for I believed that there were many others who could do the work better than I. There are a great many good men to whom the idea of preaching is distasteful. The next night I sat close up to the stand, eager to catch every word the preacher uttered. I don't remember lis text, but I know tha-. he preached about a great cross of fire. He seemed to be preaching directly to me and it seemed that he was commanding me to go and preach the gospel. That night, I walked home alone. Desiring to meditate without interrup­ tion, I did cot take the road, but went across the fields. I kept thinking of the cross of fire. 'I wish I knew how to act.' I mused. 'If the Lord wants me to preach, why does He not give me some sign? I will get down and pray.' I got on my knees and prayed fervently. When I arose I looked toward the east. I was thrilled. There was a great cross of fire. It almost reached the sky. I would be certain. I would not permit wrought-up fanoy to influence me. I walked toward the cross. Brighter and brighter it grew--grew so bright that it drove the darkness away. There could no longer be a doubt. I turned and ran toward home. When I reached the house my father was sitting on the pOrch waiting for me. I told him that I had been called to preach, but I did not tell him that I had seen the burning cross. I shall never forget how joyously the ol& gentleman prayed that night. - 'Three days after seeing the cross of fire, I was an ordained minister. One Sunday I went through the fields to see the sacred ground wht»re the cross of fire had stood. I saw the ground. I was shocked.' The cross was still there. It was a great dead tree with two enormous branches spread out in the form of a cross. The tree had caught fire. Well," added the minister, "I don't regret it. Yes, men are in fluenced'"--Arkansaw Traveler. V.M. good deal of heroism. At last she drove the enemy into an apple tree and fought him there so furiously that he was soon glad to retreat and give up his ohance of getting a dinner in that quarter.--New York Mall and Ex- pre»». Two Scenes in Court. ' . Oliver Smith, a Congressman from Indiana in the early part of this cen­ tury, comments upon the pompous cero- monial which was dear to the hearts of judges and lawyers in the backwoods in his day. In a court held in a log cabin ho asserts he has seen an assumption of authority worthy of Mars' Hill. . For examfle: One man while ploughing pulled the nose of another. , The case came to trial. The Judge and two associates took their places with great dignity- and ceremony. The crowd filled the cabin and the fields outside. The counsel for the State be­ g a n ; . w . , ' i f , - / : ' / "May it please the court--^r. The Judge arose. "Yes, young man," he exclaimed, grandiloquently, "it does please the court! Go to the bottom of this case. The people have come from .far and near to hear the lawyers plead/' The counsel made a labored speech 6f two hours, which was received with tremendous applause. When he had finished, his friends, the jury and the other members of the bar pressed round him with congratulations. The Judge declared that he "didn't think he had it iu him, and that the oration was an honor to the State of Indiana." In contrast to this, the Congressman relates a little incident which occurred to him iu 1828. He was in Baltimore, and had missed the Chesapeake boat on which helneant to go to Philadelphia. As he strolled along he came to the building where the United States Court for the District of Maryland was in ses­ sion, and entered. A venerable judge was on the bench, a lawyer was speaking in a low, earnest voice, and another lawyer was taking notes. There was no one else in the oourt-room except the stranger and the marshal. "The cause being argued was one in­ volving vast interests; the Judge was Chief-Justice John Marshall; one of the lawyers was William Wirt; the other was Roger B, Taney." In or out of a court-room we shall usually find that the greater the man the less are the bruit and pre­ tensions which surround him. It is the *Jack-in-the-box only that needs the waving of flags and blowing of trumpetr to herald his coming.--Youth's Com­ panion. • A Christian Healer. It was Yery early when I called at Mrs. Senator 'a. Only a few others were us prompt as myself--premature some persons call it--and we found the lady of the house cheerful, chatty, and good humored. A late personal ex­ perience which she told was enjoyed immensely by her small audience. She had not been feeling well, had been de­ pressed and nervous, and somebody ad­ vised her to try Christian science. She consulted a "healer," who informed her that slie was not ill, depressed, or nerv­ ous ; that such states of feeling had no real existence; that she must lift her­ self into an exalted atmosphere, keep herself in an elevated condition of mind and thus free herself from these troubles, which were nothing more than the evidence of sin, etc. She was much impressed by this most spirit­ ual doctrine, and returned to her home feeling th*t she had indeed been lifted into the regions of the beautiful and the good. At dinner, surrounded by her husband and children, she con­ tinued in this transcendental state--as evidenced by her conversation--and thinks she might be there still had she not been rudely lowered to the level of commonplace life by the remarks of various members of the family about the board. "Mother, you seem to be absent-minded," said one of the boys; "Mamma, you are hifalutin," chimed in- one of the little one% Finally the august Senator, who is accustomed to all sorts of attention from his wife, em­ phatically demanded: "WJiatthe is the matter with you ?" I comedown at once," said the vivacious hostess; "I was like the old farmer who had got religion and who owned a ram. Going into the house one day minus lm hat and coat, he said to the family: 'There is no use in trying--I can't be a Chris­ tian while that ram is on the place.' I told the Senator that I can never be a Christian while lie and the boys are around."-- Washington Post. Flaln Speaking; * If there is anything I hate to see. says Howard, it is a toothpick. If men and women, and I speak of women ad­ visedly, will use toothpicks instead of toothbrushes, is there'any need of their so doing in the public eye? The Bible tells us that some vessels are born to honor and some to dishonor, yet each in its station is of conspicuous use. So I say of toothfticks. If women and men will use them, and I speak of women more particularly, because there is not a large dining-room on the continent of America which is not provided with those infamies of alleged civilization, utilized in the most open manner by women with diamonds in their ears as they promenade hall or veranda, laugh­ ing, chatting, and annoying and offend­ ing better-bred people, let them do so in private. The toothpick, like the toothbrush, should never be. seen out­ side the dressing-room. What He Died Ot \ ̂ " I don't know what to make of my husband," said a young wife tearfully. "He begs me not to cook anything, "but to allow our trained cook to prepare the meals." "My husband was different," said a lady in^leep mourning. "He was em phatic in his orders that the food should always be prepared by my hands." "And your husband--where is he now?" ; "He is dead.* • The trew Family. Multitudes of crows often 'congregate in the woods and swamps. Wilson says that the most noted crow roost that he ever saw in his life is an island in the Delaware. "This island," to use the words of this eminent naturalist, "some­ times goes by the name of the Pea Patch. It is only a little raised above the surrounding water, and is covered with a thick growth of reeds. The en­ tire island is destitute of trees, and the crows alight and nestle among the reeds. The noise made by the birds, in in their morning and evening assem­ blies, is almost incredible. Whole fields of corn are sometimes laid waste by thousands alighting on it at once, with appetites whetted by the fast of the preceding night. The utmost watchfulness is necessary on the part of the farmer to prevent his field from being plundered. The character of the crow is here in very bad repute. To say to a man who has just lost his whole crop of corn by these birds, that crows are exceedingly useful for destroying vermin, would be just about as consol­ ing as it would be to tell him that fires are excellent for destroying logs when he has just had his house burned down by the flames. Some years ago a sudden northeast storm came on during the night and the tide, rising to an un­ common height, oovered the whole island. The darkness of the night, the violence of the storm and the sudden­ ness \vith( which it came on, it is sup­ posed, so freightened the crows that they dicl not attempt to escape. At any rate, nearly the whole of them perished. Tnousands of them were seen the next day floating in the river, and the wind, shifting to the northwest, drove their dead bodies to the New Jersey side, where, for miles they blackened the whole shore. However, it was not long after that before the island contained as' large a population of crows as ever." This race of birds, the writer thinks, must have a great affection for the Pea Patch. A crow once attempted to carry off a young chicken or two. and got himself into trouble by this means. The ohickens clustered around the parent i hea, and she defended them with a JL Duffer Meets a Consumptive. You have seen the duffer--« hulking big fellow, with a bullet head and lots of wind aod fat, but without an ounce of sand in his craw. He always picks his man, and he always means to be cer­ tain that he has got hold of somebody who can be bluffed and bulldozed. There was a chap just of this sort--a duffer from Dufferville--in the crowd of passengers obliged to wait at the depot in Decatur, Alabama, for several hours on acconnt of a railroad accident. After half an hour everybody sized him up for what he was, but he was per­ mitted to go blowing around because no one wanted the excitement of a row. He boasted of his fights and his victo­ ries, and he tried hard to pick a fuss with two or three farmers, and finally got his eye on something good. It was a tall, slim, hollow-eyed man from Ohio, who was evidently on his way to Florida to die of consumption. He had i deathly look to bis face, and as he Pandered up and down the platform he coughed in a hallow and dismal way. Duffer arranged to meet bim in his walk, and at once loudly demanded: "Did you move my "valise off the seat?" "No, sir," was the reply. "Well, I want to find'the man who ,did; I can mop the earth with him in two minutes." "Well, I don't care who>it was." "Oh! You don't I Mighty independ­ ent, you?r M mm mm 'Go away from me, sir' I d<m't Bright Young Sen Can del Rich in India. "There is a big chance in Madras and Bombay for a number of bright, skilled American dentist," said Dr. Edward Chester, of India, in the course of a talk about his adopted country. "I wish I could persuade t>ome bright, skilled young American dentist to go out there," he continued. "Madras is <1 city of 300,000, population, and has not a single American dentist there. I know people who travel from there to Bombay, nearly 1,000 miles, iu order to have a tooth filled. There is only one good dentist in Bombay, and he refuses to fill teeth with gold,, usiug .a sort of cement that is not lasting. He charges $7.50 for pulling a tooth. A few good American dentists could go over there now and at once step into a big busi­ ness. "The Hindoos are conservative and cling to their old customs and imple­ ments, but there will soon be a market for American goods. Canned goods are scarce and high and ice is a luxury. By the way, good physicians would find favorable openings in many Indian cities. Some of th lawyers out there make fortunes in ecomparatively few years, and retire to England to live at their ease. But the trouble is that a young American attorney, to succeed in India would have to spend a long time in studying English law as well as that of the Hindus and Mohammedans. "As a race, the Hindus are remark­ ably intelligent, especially among the higher castes. In charge of each of the presidencies, Madras, Bombay, and Bengal, is placed a director of public instruction, anil they, have developed a most complete system of primary, mid­ dle,, and high schools, and three splen­ did colleges, one in Calcutta, another in Madras and the third in Bombay. These colleges have standards as high as any in America, except that they do not have as adjuncts law or medical schools. ONE of the best means of saving power ie to rest just before getting tired. A human being may work up to the point of fatigue without injury: but the moment exhaustion supervenes that moment a debilitated state sets in which cannot be recovered from readily. 1 f ' 1 ' •» POTATOES in Anderson, Shasta County, Cal., are sold at 4 cents each. They are more of a luxury than oranges. know you and don't want to." "Don't you? If you were only a" well man I'd make you eat mucl. As it is, don't give me too much sass or I'll teach you manners." "You are a loafer, sir--a first-class loafer!" said the Buckeye as he con­ tinued to walk. * "I never strike a sick man," replied the other, "but I will tweak your nose .mce just to reduce your temperature. Now come " He reached out with thumb and finger, but lie didn't get the nose. Instead of it liegot it biff! bang! in the face with the right and left, and as he went down the consumptive kicked him to his feel md knocked him over a baggage truck. He didn't get up again until two men assisted him. He had two bunged eyes, a bloody nose, and a bleeding mouth, and lie looked about in a helpless way and stammered: "Gen--gentlemen, lead me off some­ where, where I can be alone!" When lie had gone some one asked the consumptive if he wasn't afraid the. exertion would give nim hemorrhage, and he replied: • "What do you take me for?" "Aren't you a Northern consumptive on your way South ?" "Not for Joseph! I'm a professional contortionist on my way to fill an en­ gagement in Cincinnati. I saw the duffer sizing me up, and so played to catch him. If he should want anything more send him anppd."--New York Sun. Conversational Acquirements. Conversation is a gift, and we should never look a gifted conversationalist in the moutli. To be a good talker is a rare accomplishment--in a man. In 0 woman it is not quite so rare, being, in fact, pretty well done, and thoroughly cooked. Yes, we may say it is a rare accom­ plishment, because you can talk a man to death at short range, and the sleuth hounds of the law, somehow or other, cannot put their fangs into your epider­ mis with that celerity and precision which would be the result i! you had only shot him to death, or cut him in two at his equator with a broad-axe. Conversation ranks first among all the human attainments. The good talker conveys his thoughts pleasantly and easily, and the succeeding destruc­ tion is swift, certain and fatal. He lifts us up from our cares and discourage­ ments, fills us with wild, tumultuous delight, and dumps us at last into the slough of despond, where we wallow amid his baleful, blighting talk. He expels from us the spirit of content­ ment, and leads us iortli into green past­ ures and beside the rippling, ear-split­ ting waters of rhetoric. Talking to a man is one thing, and talking about him is another; and some­ body has laid down the rule that it is" better to say nothing about a big man you would not dare say to his face. Many really imagine that they live by this rule, but they are mistaken. It ii no uncommon occurrence to hear a man say: "I would say the same thing ts him," but really he wouldn't. He dar< not, for he is afraid that the principal in the affair, the man he would as soon say anything to as about, him might fall over on him and scrunch the hide of! him, scraping him along the gravel walk, and choking him until his eyes came to the surface. The great conversers of the present era neldom attack a man personally. Past experiences have made them shy if the shifting qnicksands of personal * buse. An ounce of taffy is worth more than a pound of wool, and the man who can talk to you until you are as liappj as a little dog on tall oats is a benefaetoi of hin race.-- Texas Siftinqs. % More Attractive Than UsnaL Wife (picking up her ^pera cloak)-- Well, how do I look? Husband--Charming,' <iy dear. W.--For some reason jt other I feel as if something were lacking. Do you notice anything unusual in my. cos< tume? H.--Why, no, -dear, except that you are even more attractive than usual. W.--Ah! I have How funny! have forgotten to p?;t ifi my bodice. H.--By Jove! ll-at's so, aud it is high time we were going. Never mind, it will never be missed. W. (scarlet and furious)--How dare you! That is very unkind. You know 1 detest vulgar speeches. H. (humbly)--Forgive me. But what are you going to do? \V. (after u moment's reflection)--Oh it will be all right. I can spare a few flowers from this bouquet and arrange them in the dressing-room. 4 Mormon Rcctltnde. "1 should think, air," said a Mormon wife severely to her husband at Castle Garden, the other morning, "that you would be ashamed to be seen flirting with that girl so openly." "Flirting, my dear," he returned in astonished tones, "I wasn't flirting. We were engaged before the vessel left Queenstown." "O," said his wife, calmly, "I beg your pardon. If vou have proposed to her, I presume it's all right. When does the interesting event take place?" Hwnfba! Hamlin as a CanftMeer, A story is told of an incident of the war, which took place at Pushaw Pond, then as now, a famous fishing resort foi Baugorians. Early in the strife the Government secured guns and cannons wherever it could, and every private foundry and machine shop in the land was pressed into service to produce weapons with which to arm the volun­ teers. Thus it was that the old Bangor firm of Hinckley & Egery became en­ gaged in the " work. The story goe3 that at one .time they had contracts to make and did make some cannons. When ready for service, these were taken out to Pushaw and to the Perch House Landing, the understanding be­ ing that if Dollar Island, three-quarters of a mile away and about an eighth of a mile long, could be hit by a ball from cne of the new guns, they would be ac­ cepted by the authorities, kf Bangor man had charge of the practice, and really felt he was the biggest gun there, as he represented the Government. Now it so happened that the war Vice President, the Hon. Hannibal Hamlin, arrived home that day, and as he was zealous in everything pertaining to the country's welfare, he drove out to Pushaw to witness the proceedings, and for some time was an interested spec­ tator of the vain attempts to hit the island, though it was plain to be seen the cannon could project a ball twice that distance. As the tale is told, it is evident there wan too much cider at the rear of the guns, rendering the aim faulty. Af ter the guns >h ad been loaded and discharged several times, Mr, Hamlin joined the amateur artillerymen,sighted over one cannon and aimed it, after which it was discharged. The aim was ixae and the ball, skiramincr the water surface, struck the island at the water line, a point always aimed at in actual warfare and when bombarding ships. There was much applause, though in the bustle and general hilarity no one seems to have recognized the newcomer --due probably to the cider. The Government boss was down by the water's edge when the report came, and when he saw how true the aim had been be took umbr|ge, as he had pre­ viously sighted the gun, and with that dignity which men clothed with tem­ porary authority often assume, strode back to the cannon. With an oath he wanted to know who had been fooling with the cannon, and was told that "old fellow up on the grass" did it. Hither he went, approaching Mr. Hamlin from behind, aud'as he whirled him about, wanted to know; why in blank and blank nation he was sticking his nose into Government affairs! Then there came over the face of the second highest official of the Nation that quiet but characteristic smile never seen elsewhere, and which even the be­ fuddled brain of the Bangor man re­ cognized. He took a second look, gasped, became sober in an instant, and lied, nor was he again seen in town un­ til Mr. Hamlin left it. The guns were accepted and sent to the front, where they did good service, but they were never better aimed than when the Vice President "plunked" Dollar Island. --Leiviston Journal. FOLLY AT IT FLIES. - •i - Ittl ChBCtrrr cTonzt -Hugging. THE professional sportsman h&? a tinet aim in life. Two FLATS often make a scene on an elevated car, as well as in a theater. IT sounds paradoxical, but "a talking ! .Kkene3s" is not necessarily a figure of speech. 1 , HORSEFLESH is said' to be the worst •hing in the world to give people the nightmare. t "THIS needs a stamp," said the post­ master as the cockroach crawled ont of ;he mail-bag. IT is quite natural that a weeping washerwoman shoald Attempt to dry her •yes by wringing her hands. POPINJAY (passing store)--•Good gra­ cious ! What is the matter with that man leaning over the counter in there? Blobson--Got a counterfeit, I guess. JOKES--Economy pays. It paid me well the past week. Brown--How? Jones--It was $50 for back rent, or $5 for team hire to move. 1 moved, and thus saved $45. A VEILED Thrust.--He--Kerosene, my dear, rubbed on the neck and head is apositive cure for hog cholera! She --Why--have you tried it? 'I don't notice any improvement. SNAOGS--You say that twirler gets $8,000 a year as a baseball player? Buggs--Yes. Snaggs--Well, what does he do all winter? Buggs--Keeps him- ) self in practice by pitching into his J wife. • . ~ "NELLIE," he said softly, "this ring, ; f which cost $120, I hope you will keep ; as a lasting proof of the depths of my f ' affection." Nellie (posted in jewelry)-- Yes. Rhinestones are worth $2 a gross 5 in the Bowery, Jack. Good night! Miss THIRTY-EIGHT (coyly--What a ^ pity it seems, Mr. Somerset, that a man ^ like you should be a bachelor! Mr. Somerset--Yea, Miss. Thirty-eight, it does seem a pity, but I can't help it. You know I was born so! Jenkins. PHYSICIAN--I fear you have been keeping yourself too closely confined. You should go out more. Take a con- Btitutional every morning before break- % fatt. Col. Livehigh--I always do, doctor, two of'em and never less than three fingers. AMERICAN Boy--Papa, what's an ab- • solute monarchy? Papa--A country ruled by a king whose authority is un­ limited. His word is law, and the peo* pie must do his bidding. Do you un­ derstand? American Boy--Oh, yes, a qort of political boss. How DID you like the sermon thistnorn- ing? Perkins--It was too short to suit me. Jenkins--Isn't that an unusual objection ? Perkins--It may be, but it is rather provoking after one has set- tied himself for a restful nap to have the preacher suddenly bring his ser- . mpu to a close. NOT long ago a noted evangelist made the following announcement at one ol his meetings: "Theservices to-morrow >,t;: will be for women only. Pastors of . ̂ churches will be admitted, but no men." . ^ ; This remark is in line with the old adage that there are three sexes, men, women, and clergymen. A CONSIGNMENT of two thousand mummies has been shipped from Egypt to an English firm in London. They are to be pulverized and used as fer­ tilizers. Indian Corn Items. Practical farmers smile at those who talk about oorn being deficient in pro­ tein and phosphates, for it is the grand­ est crop in the world. When the corn cribs are well filled a successful and happy winter may be predicted for the cattle, chickens and horses. When the cribs are empty the live stock will be fed on other feed that is not so nutri­ tive, and the fanner, in order to econo­ mize for his lack of corn, will gradually stint the animals of their proper rations, and general misery and unprofitable­ ness will follow. Above all, let the i:orn crop be a big one and a successful one. Next to the potato crop the corn crop , the most expensive one that the farmer can grow. Heavy manuring and high culture are demanded; but all of this extra labor is sure to return profit­ able results. Properly cultivated corn should not be injured muoh by dry weather. On good land, kept clean-by the frequent use of tlie cultivator, corn will stand drouth better than any other crop. One should look to the stores of water in the soil, and see that no weeds suck up this moisture and rob the corn plants. Clover and other deep-rooted plants bring up nitrogen, phosphate, potash and other plant food from the subsoil, and leave them near the suriace in the form of vegetable matter. A severe drouth does the same thing. Capillary attraction raises the water charged with plant food, and as it evaporates leaves it on the surface. A great drouth thus leaves the lnnd - in orood condition for a corn crop for the following season. The harrow is a valuable instrument to use after the oorn is planted. Our Western farmers are learning this every year, aud the implement is coming into more general use for this purpose than ever before. The roller should follow close after the planter, and the harrow hould not be far behind the roller. After these two implements have d >ne their work the ground is fined and com­ pacted over the seed, the danger of baking is reduced to a minimum and no danger may be expected from showers. If tlie check-row system has been adopted the open rows will soon be turned into deep channels for the run­ ning waters, and considerable damage may be done in this way. The roller aud harrow, however, prevent running water* from collecting iu any such fur­ rows. It levels the ground more than auythiag else can, and a great deal of good is accomplished by having the field free from liole3, furrows and marks. It is the earliest cultivation that does the most good, and the policy of stopping in the middle of planting in one field to go and roll and harrow another field Already planted may be recommended in mauy cases. A great deal of the suc­ cess depec-ds upon keeping the top soil in proper condition to resist the effects of drouth and sudden rains,--J^ractical Farmer. • <• A Nervy Boy. An exceedingly cheeky thief made his appearance in Boston one day last Week. He was dressed in overalls. He went into the office of a life insurance company, and, while whistling one of the latest tune*, began to unscrew from the walls of a toilet room on the fourth floor a mirror valued at about twenty dollars. Full twenty occupants of the buiiding saw the man at work, and everybody thought he had been hired either to repair the glass or clean it, They did not suspect anything was wrong until he left. Then it was learned *te was a thief. D THE Preacher--Well, Sam, how have been getting along since your con- '•irsion? *Sam--Oh, fust rate, sah, • fust rate. Me and the whole family lias quit lyin', swearin', and stealin' in a gt jat measure.--Chicago Light. ;.v - **' A* ..A The Han He Wanted. Old Simmonsly advertized for a see- A retarv, and when a young mau presented ~ 1 himself, the old fellow looked at him -r " ^ sharply and in a gruff voice asked: ' " Well, sir, what can you do?" "Dou't know, exactly--haven't sized - ̂ m y s e l f u p i n a c o m p l e t e w a y y e t , b u t 1 " ' think that I can manage to hold my end jap." "Yes, you think so. Now, sir, I want a man to do my writing, and I want him . v to be a man of judgment. Do you un- demand V" "Yes." "I don't want any namby-pamby fel­ low about me. I want a man to catch my ideas at once, and in expressing them to my correspondents to use as few words as possible." , "Think I'm your man, sir.w "I don't want any scollops, under- ,t u stand. I want plain words--want a spade to be called a spule." • ' "All right, sir, and if I don't suit you J. I don't think there is anybody that can." Y' "What is your name?" "Spires." "Very good, Mr. SpiiOH, you may go to work." When the old man took up the first letter that Spires had written he looked at it a moment and then uttered an angry exclamation. " Why, what do you mean here? After signing my name you have put the word 'Sweats.' What did you do that for?" " Why, to carry out your idea of call­ ing a spade a spade, for, instead of say­ ing per Spires, I have simply added Sweats, which, you know, means the ^ y ; same thing, expressed in a simpler , way." "Mr. Spires," said the old man, and his voice trembled, "I shall take you * « iuto full co-partaersliip at once. Mr. AVg Spires, I have a beautiful daughter, sir. t J Come with me to my home.*-~-Ark<in- saw Traveler. ' 'L The Typewriters • Now that ladies are so generally em­ ployed as stenographers and type­ writer operators the columns of some newspapers are burdened with coarse attempts at humor in which the prettyf« ' ' amanuensis and her alleged flirtations with the business man are the inspiring| theme. Perhaps these jokes, on account of their insipidity, are harmless aud d«3 not deserve the dignity of a remon­ strance, but nevertheless we enter oui protest against any attempt to place it a ridiculous or improper light the hon-| est and worthy occupation of a woman.! All honor to the girl who has the energy J and pluck and determination to qualify ^ herself to be self-sustaining and make.,* - j herself useful in the great world of l>usi- • ness. There are enough actual follies,^ weaknesses and foibles of men to laugh | about without making innocent women 'f; | the subject of ridicule by making thenij figures iu incidents entirely the product;^ of an impure imagination. The shafts^ of ridiculc should be aimed only at those who deserv e punishment, and wit >': i and humor lose their charm when in- ! f jj dulged in at- the expense of anything that is good or useful. A woman's refj-f, utation is too delicate to be roughly^fff handled, and any light treatment of her j occupation injures her who'is identified with it.--Western 1'loivman. " How They I)o It in Russia. _ ' An engine driver on the Central Asian. ^ ^ Railway, who sustained concussion ofK the brain ill a serious accident on Gen., AnnenkofFs line some time ago, has just; sued the railway officials for damagea^ ,s in a court at Samarcand, and obtained ; very satisfactory and somewhat ori-< ginal compensation. The court decreed* that he should bo paid 7,000 rubiest . -*- down at once, and in addition shouldjf^|§f receive 30 rubles, or $12 a month, withti ^ an extra 10 rubles for every child whichr * ; might be born to him.--London Time*./