Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 21 May 1890, p. 6

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»rb :• # > < m , *0*m* iK«a« <^ S* CTUNCM «, SMrifct:;,^ ' 1S»eH>«re voices in the «lr , ^.v- Everywhere. <8mne spenkinj? of ile«)«lr, WOJIK predicting formues Some whispering nitlt. *ot TOiera are voices in the lir x Everywhere. * " ., ' "There arc voices in ti\e air Every wheri». 1rh«vf couio to 1110 in the DijhV-, -And my timid soul affright,. • "Or they yreet me when 1 riafc. And dispel luy tears and nigha. ,'»ter© are voices in the air t Everywhere. '^P* There are voices in the air . , Everywhere. They soothe my soul to re: And*they tear my tortured Of faith ami hope tiiey t^ing, And they M l tile rays that, 'There are voice* in tbe air ! Everywhere. . There are voices In the alt, Every v,-here. / ; "They ootue from the spirit-Jan d, . »ien<i and foes oil every haul. -And they torture or they 1>1«8S, Bringing comfort or distresa, . , 'TThere are voices in the uir ' i Everywhere ... i ^Xkare are voices in air „ £•', Everywhere. " , ' t A ®ut one voice my NOUI doth thrill-- > *' _ , When it speaks the rest are Still. -It- comes to me at even. ' 'Clear and distinct from Heaven-- It is the voice of one ^ V - "Who cries, "Hope on, my son!" Oh, blessed spirit-mother, L OouJd 1 hear tliee and iu) other, - 'J here would he for mo no tearx. J >\4 Nordoubts, nor hnr.nting fears; i',* f. Awl my soul woi;la stronger grow, u And mv heHrt with jov o eriow; \ But of this boon 1 despair, f Ji; " Cor there ore vcices in the ffr . "* Everywhere. , i. *»' ATem Work Weekly. -W ws: HER SIN. MCS XV. S. FRENCH. © W - I?; i ?'When Milan Eastwick was married, S -^wsry one predicted that the young «obuple just entering on the matrimonial nroyage of life would have a happy and prosperous trip. Lillie Marcet, now Lillie Eastwick, •Was an orphan when she married East­ wick. Her father had died when she wis only five years of age, and three ..years later her mother had joined her •lather in that unknown land beyond "death. She had then gone to live with » maiden aunt, a good-hearted woman, •tout rather too cold in manner to be the : instructor of a vivacious child. Liliie's .parents had left her a fair competence, and so she wanted for nothiug but love. ; -She believed with the coming of Milan s -Eastwick that want was tilled, and that iier life would be a contumai round of t; Juippinesa in his company. ; Nearly five years Hew by. and we find "domestic affairs at the Eastwick house- «• itold on anything bat the smooth plane which we would have expected to •oat. ~ Lillie was no society woman. She had not been one from the start of •iier married life. She loved the quiet •of her own fireside, jcoupled with the pleasure which the society of her hus- tMUid alone could give. On the contrary, -lie was a lover of his social club, where vd? •. spent nearly all the time wiiich he , «eould spare from the office. He had ,-fceen a risiug young real estate dealer , ^ • ^when Liliie married him. His ventures ; &ad nearly ail turned out well, and now '*' he was comparatively wealthy. She i|b "begged him to spend a part of his even- logs at home with her, or, if he needs /Bust go out every night, to go with her -some place of amusement. She •• ' offered to give up her love1 of home aud . ; . • quiet ioi the sake of a little more of his -society. * But Eastwick was intensely selfish! He loved his wife with a selfish sort pf s love, bat he loved Eastwick*s self- «0}oyment more. Be pointed out to her the social position she might occupy if she only would fill it, and the plea-s- it would bring her, he claimed. 7 would be equal to that f urnished him by ihis'ohib. And so a coldness came be- twfeen them, and with it the ever ready tempter. ( She met the tempEer at a friend's, 'where both were guests. He was a -handsome, reckless young fellow named Howard Fordyce. The conversation of ttbe man seemed to fascinate her as the basilisk eye of the serpent charms its prey. She invited him to call, and he, liaving a decided penchant for the ^society of married ladies, did so. Be- iiore ioog he became an almost daily •caller, and she found herself confiding him her home troubles and secrets, ' " «od listening to his words of condolence V.,/ -«*d pity. 11._ ..... Gradually she ceased to long for the Ip. :'; •Ociety ol her husband as she had done vj "l y°re, and her ear was already com- >1 snencing to listen for the footstep of an- K • •. *®ther than the one she had promised to love and cherish. i.ffi >•1 Her husband seemed to take no notice this new state of affairs. He seemed I • <»ly to feel that she had ceased to 15 . trouble liim for his society, and he was f.', ^ l-swatisfied. j; 7 The end might have been seen. C « As little by little the tiny drops of , "^ater wear away the hardest rock, so ,• * i*he words of pity, and then of burning, H.' *nholv passion which he. poured into §T ^ber ears wore away the love and affec- ^ion which once she had held for her , fcusband. Then his < the latter's) pres-i -;). *«nce, what little tin>e he was at the ; Mkouse, became hateful to her. | Fordyce told her that he loved her Ipl ^%etter than he could ever love another i •, ' . 'Jfoman, and tbat if she would fly with ; „ A %im, as soon as she was legally free he lf , ' * "*ould wed her. She believed him, and - • ' "Oue day left her husband, home, and all jp 1 » \ that a woman holds dear, to go forth to v. ,».m life of sin. I ' Her husband was shocked and morti- 3fiv?d beyond measure. He had never %:' breamed that his wife had thought of M ,f#uch a step. i ?•/ '. «< He really loved her, and the blow 'Y*V J, , :%ame very hard on him, aud for several i ,, ,-^laysfee was prostrated. Her death he .^Upould.have borne much easier; but this ^ ' "^*as worse than death--it was disgrace. > v , In a few months he secured a le^al ^ •-Jparaxon. Sue passed out of his life, f, „t{ - * - * 4Wi<i he settled down to his old bachelor . ' , f life that he had lived before he married. ' Before a year lidd passed Howard fordyce wearied of his victim. Long r?; ' •/,* ,^>efore the year passed she bitterly re- t iwnted the rash |act which had blasted >%;' | ^ lUier whole future life; but it was too i j ' " ' Hate to repent the past now, she thought. f v ^Manv and many times, with bitter tears, »• .i^^id she beseech him to fulfill his prom- 1 " $.'vffijsise, now that she was free, and make W:: hundred of her class would do--fell lower than before, and joined her for­ tunes with, those of a well-known gam­ bler. They drifted about from plaoe to place, and at the end of five years from the time she left her home we find them in the westa following up a great rail­ road system then being built. Stopping at the terminal station of the road till it was buile on, and then following it up, was their plan to fleece strangers and laborers, a large part of whose wages each month found their way into the gambler's pockets. Billy Spy, for that was the gambler's name, always had liis arrangements for a couple of rooms in house or tent made ahfead, so he would have some place to live and to entice his victims in. One day he entered the outer room of the two which.they occupied, accompa­ nied by a man at the' sight of whose face Liliie's heart almost ceased to beat. It waa her former husband, Milau Eastwick, older in years and with streaks of gray in his hair, but other* wise not much changed since she last 6aw him. She had little fear of his recognizing her now, for her features and form had changed much in the five years that had elapsed since she left him. He had come out along the new road to locate real estate in some of the new growing towns. Meeting Spy, the latter had invited him to his room* for a social game, and Eastwick, nothing loth, consented. ; » . *" For a moment Lillie could not speak; then, gaining control 6f her voice, she called the gambler into the room where she was. Billy, you must not fleece that man," she said, "for my sake don't !" Her voice trembled with emotion and her face was deathly pale, for all her old happy life was recalled by the sight of Eastwick's face. - "Not fleece him, 141? "why not? What's he to you ?" ' He was once my husband, Billy, and I left him for a man that cast me aside like a worn out glove. I have caused him trouble enough now, without help­ ing to cause him more." "All right, Lil, I won't; but I should think you'd be glad to get some of the old duffer's money. I'll play him a ' square' game and let him go." "Thank you, Billy," she said; Til remember your kindness-" Billy returned to the outer room, and, he and Eastwick were soon engaged in a little game of poker. The gambler meant to keep his promise to Lillie and play a fair game, but the glimpse he caught of a large roll of money which Eastwick carried, and his desire to have a haul at it, overcame ull his good in­ tentions. He first commenced to cheat on a small scale, but, emboldened by his success,' he became careless, and Eastwick, who understood the game well, caught him in the act of cheating. Rising to his feet, Eastwick gathered up his part of the stakes then on the table. "Sir," he said to Spy, "when I came here it was to play a social game, and to play it' honorabfy. I see, however, I have mistaken a common, swindling gambler for a gentleman." Spy was known as a bad man by his fellow-gamblers, and while Eastwick was speaking he had grown white to the lips. "You lie!" he shouted, as the other ceased speaking. "I won that money fairly on the last bet, and if you don't lay it down you shall never leave here alive." "I shall leave here now," replied Eastwick, "and you attempt to stop me it will be at the peril of your life," and his hand flew toward a pocket where he carried a heavy revolver. But Spy was too quick for him. "Whipping out a re­ volver, he leveled it ancl fired. Lillie, who had heard the angry words of the two men, now rushed out from the inner room and flung herself between them, screaming: "Billy, don't! Put up your"-- The pistol cracked sharply and her words ended in a long drawn wail of agony as she fell dying to the floor. A tiny stream of blood flowed from the wound and gathered in a little pool. Neither mau attempted to continue the struggle. The tragedy already enacted seemed to drive all their former anger from their minds. "Go," exclaimed Spy, as Eastwick made a step forward as though he would lift the dead woman from the floor; "I will care for my own dead." "At least tell who she was," said East­ wick. "No! It is nothing to yon who or what she was. Leave us!" fiercely ex* claimed the gambler. Taking a last look at the half averted face of the dead, about which there seemed to be something strangely famil­ iar, Eastwick turned and left the house. For days afterward he could bear the dying wail of the murdered woman ringing in his ears. He did not know for years who it was that gave her life for his, till "Gambler Bill." on his death-bed, wrote and told him all. Then he searched out her un­ marked grave and had her 'remains removed to a city where her sins were unknown and erected a handsome mon ument to mark her grave. | Aeoteness of Scent of the Australian. It is well known that among the lower animals senses of hearing and smell are developed to an astonishing degree. The pointer that smells a bevy of quail two or three hundred yards away, and the deer that scents a human being half a mile or more, or hears the first crack of a twig two or three hundred yards off, are case3 in point. Man, in his progress from lower to higher stages of culture has had less and less occasion to use these two faculties, and so they have become less and less acute. Though hearing and scent are not de­ veloped among the lower races of man to an extent comparable with the ani­ mals, they are nevertheless remarkably acute. Thus Lumboltz while in Queensland noticed that, in passing along, the na­ tives frequently took a handful, of dirt out of a crevice in the rock or a cleft in a tree, and smelled of it to discover if any animal had passed over it. He also ob­ served that when digging out mice from their holes, they frequently smelled of a handful of the earth to see if the ani­ mal was at home. Though the peculiar odor of these animals was familiar ta the naturalist, he was never able to discover it in the | ground, aud this fact shows how supe- DBUOGINO IliTlSS. Isow he was stuck. He Ifeoqgb# 2S££S^'S-*3^,5S!: J5? ' .^her his wife. He only laughed at her nor to his own olfactory powers were the p™* ^ ."fears and pleadings, and told her that tf? , 'y/ the had never seriously thought of suoh ^ sira thing as tying himself to any woman \ ,ft SFor life, let alone one of her character. ,j, • To be reproached by the very man it, -wlio had caused her disgrace was indeed " i* bitter blow, and it served to show her caore plainly all that she had sacrificed for the heartless man before her. The > oext day he left her alone in a' large without money or Iriends, and trained noses of the natives. S^^rith a blasted name. "'~c~ .. siiA aiVi «h|y&tt|jr-mae outo' ®v«3 i ! Already Thought of It. The old man was about to pass Away, and he-pressed his young wife's hand. "Darling, after I am gone marry my oldest apprentice. He is reliable and true. Tell me you will think of it?" "If it will make yoijr last hours easy, dear," answered the weeping partner of his bosom, "I will console you by say- ing I have already thought of it. , $ r V ii i feM'i h&y" • « * - "f r . ,,.. a*, .iik.." k-Mtr'-i * • ' v -V V'-' * ..2 J dsv .'V* * Are Wanted* The terrible outrage recently com­ mitted upon an English lady traveling in a railway train in Germany brings to mind, says Galignani, the fact that there exists in that country, as also in Eugland, organized bands of thieved, who make use of chloroform and other stupefying drugs in order to prevent re­ sistance on the part of their victims. Perhaps the most accomplished scoun­ drels of this class hail from Ainerica. We* are very glad to be able to give some particulars as to the modus ope­ randi of these scientific ruflmns, inas­ much as they do not usually inspire dis­ trust, being generally "got up" a per­ fect gentlemen. A great many rob­ beries of this kind have been committed both in France and abroad, but up to the present time the police have been unable to lay hands upon the perpetra­ tors. There are two distinct schools in this department of scientific scoundrel- dom--thieves who operate with opium, and those who use chloroform. The opinmites carry on their nefarious busi­ ness in railway trains or other for the time being secluded places. They are generally very anxious to make friends with any stranger who appears to be rich. When the}' have made sure that he possesses a well-filled pocketbook, they endeavor to find an opportunity for carrying out their project. This, of course, is comparatively an easy matter. They will take their victim in a private compartment of a restaurant or other convenient place, and at the proper mo­ ment they secretly introduce the nar­ cotic into the victim's cup of coffee, or offer him a cigar saturated with opium. As soon as he goes to sleep, the thieves take particular care to relieve him of the valuable property he may have iu his possession. They then disguise themselves in the most approved man­ ner and vanish. The process is very much the same in a railway traiu. The scientific thief is generally a man of gentlemanly de- meauor, who has the happy knack of making himself agreeable to all sorts and conditions of people. He carries a well filled traveling bug, from which, in the course of conversation, he brings forth a flask of brandy, a cigar, or some kind of fruit, and offers it to his travel­ ling companion. If the latter is a wary person, however, he will probably de­ cline. The thief then adopts other tac­ tics, settles himself in a corner like an honest traveler who wants to go to sleep. He does not go to sleep, how­ ever, but covertly watches his intended victim. As soon as he sees him fall asleep he stealthily approaches, removes the stopper from the chloroform hot Je, and holds it a few seconds under the victim's nose. In order to secure that the narcotic shall have its full effect, the scientific thief makes use of a very thin sheet of parchment, which he places over the sleeper's moutli so as to oblig^ him to breathe through the nose. The sheet of parchment is called a "stifler," and is moulded so as to fit like a mask over a person's face. As a rule, the railway thief leaves a certain sum of money on bis victim as well as his jew­ elry. He believes in taking current coin of the realm. Sometimes, however, an inexperienced operator with narcotics miscalculates the dose, and the victim sleeps away into death. In such a case as this the authorities generally find the deceased in possession of jewels and money to a certain amount, as well as private papers, aud attribute his death to "natural causes." The relatives of the deceased are informed of the fact, and no difficulty is made as to burial. M. Mace, the eminent French detective, says there are a large number of thieve? operating in the way described. They are admirably organized and speak dif­ ferent languages. Many of them have occupied very high positions, and they have the manners and appearance of perfect gentlemen. They are conse­ quently very dangerous scoundrels, and M. Mace thinks the best way to deal with them would be to organize an in­ ternational detective system in order to run them to earth. He says he knows cases where high-class thieves have been arrested with chloroform still in their possession. A. great many of thfe 'sudden deaths" in railway trains may no doubt be attributed to the chloro­ form gangs. M. Mace gives instances of three such deaths in one day on the same line of railway. Two of the par­ ties were found dead in the same com* partment.--Boston Herald, •r. Ortta's Begging Constituent. Benton McMillin retailed a story which he said he had heard from the lips of GodloveS. Orth, formerly a well- known representative from Indiana. Soon after the beginning of the war an old Hoosier, who lived in'his district, wrote him a letter. It began thus: Dear Jedge: I take my pen in hand to let you know that we are all well an' hope this will find you enjoyin' the same blessin'. He wrote that he had a wife and a boy that was mighty smart. He said that he had voted for the "Jedge" every time that he had been a candidate, and he thought it was about time he got somethin'. He said that he understood that the Government had lots of guns on hand, and he wanted him to send him by express right off, a double-bar­ relled shotgun for his boy. "Get a breech-loader if you can," he continued, "and if you can't git a breech­ loader send on a good muzzle-loader, stub and twist barrels. The boy is jist thirteen-year-old, an' he kin shoot like ole Dannel Boon. After you send the shotgun ; lease send me yer latest report on agriculter an' a lot of garden seeds for my wife." Mr. Orth hesitated awhile before re­ plying to the letter. He finally wrote that he was very sorry he could not send the shotgun, because the Govern­ ment was in need of all the guns that could be got to put down the rebellion. He took great pleasure, however, in sending the latest agricultural report and the garden eeeds to the man's wife. Four years afterward, when the war had closed, Oxth picked up another let­ ter one day with the same direction: " Honribel Godless S. Orth, House of Bips, Washington, D. C." In this, the old man called his attention to the fact that the war bad just ended aud that the government must have "heaps uv guns on hand." He therefore wanted him to send by the first express a double-barrelled shotgun, "breech-loadin,'" for his boy. "The boy was now a goin' on seventeen year, an' he is the best shot in Injeany. Git him a good gun an' git it quick, for 1 the holiday shootin' is a comin' on an' I he wants to kill somethin' for Chris'- mis." In conclusion the old Hoosier said: "1 want you to send me the lat­ est copy of your agricultural report, an' my wife wants sum more garden seeds. Mr. Orth was in a quandary. He had given a good excuse for not sending few . .fawner letter* tmfc i: . '4%^' one way out of,the difficulty. He bought a second-hand shotgun, breech-loadiug, and sent it to the old man by express. At the same time his latest agricultural report and the garden seeds were for­ warded. Mr. McMillin says that he afterward heard that Orth was avenged. Ono day, as the old man was trying the power of the gun, it exploded and killed him. But McMillin does not say that " Godless S. Orth" told this. --From the Philadelphia Times: Washington Gossip. Went Out to Drop Smith. At, about 3 o'clock iu the afternoon T came along to a Kentucky "squat," which differed from a hundred others only in the fact that a woman and boy sat on a login front of the opening in the brush fence, which might be termed the gate, and because six dogs were lying in the sun instead of the usual three or four. I asked after the man of the house, and the woman replied: "He 'un hain't home just now." ' "Be back soon?" "I reckon. He 'un has gone deftrn the road a piece to drop that Dave Smith." ' ; "To what?" I asked. "To drop Dave Smith." , - "Do yon mean that he has gone to shoot Smith ?" Sartin. They 'UUH has bin wantin to pop at each other fur a long time." "Thar she clatters!" shouted the boy as the report of a gun reached our ears, and he was off down the road like a deer. "Reckon the ole man dropped him," calmly observed the woman as she went on with her work of patching an old woolen shirt. I expreseed my unbounded surprise at this sort of man hunting, but she said it was one of the customs, and had to be lived up to. In about ten min­ utes the boy reappeared, and, sitting down on the log to get his breath, he said: "Pop's a-coming." "Drop Smith ?" she queried, without even looking up. "No; Smith dropped him. .Pop's got buckshot in the shoulder. Better git things ready." "Reckon I had, Jim," she said, and, getting up, she folded her work and moved into the house without tbe least sign of excitement. A few minutes laU»r the husband came up at a slow walk, with the fresh blood dripping from his shoulder, and halted long enough in front of me to say: "Evening to yon, stranger. Sort o' make yourself to home. I went out to drop Smith, and the onery varmit was waitin' behind a bttsh and dropped me. Git the blood washed off and the shot picked out, and we'll hev a visit. You,, Jim, take bis knapsack and show him whar to wash up."-- New York Sun. ^Professional Beautiflers. Professional beautiflers are on the in­ crease. Although civilization is rather behind savagedom in this respcct.-- using whiting and rouge only, and not having got as far as streaking its face with yellow ochre--the difference is only one of degree. The beautifier to whom I refer has started in London after some experience in Paris, where the "art" k at its prime. She lias three degrees of "beautifying" a face, which means that she lays on the preparations in five different tliiickenesses. I thought I would try it myself. It was quickly done. First the face is sixmged with hot water and dried, f hen something out of a bottle was carefully applied and allowed to dry, and over this a layer of another mixture was rubbed on. This gives a smooth and white appearance to the skin. The cheeks were artistically rouged, the eve- brows penciled and a dark line made under the eyed, and the artist declared enthusiastically that "I was a beautiful make-up." I had my forehead enameled, too, just for an experiment. A sort of whiting in solution is applied till a suf­ ficient thickness has dried on the skin,, and that is enameling. It looks ghastly in the daylight. The maker-np admitted this; and said another drawback to enameling was that the wearer mnstn't laugh or it would crack. "Indeed/* she said, "ladies of fashion don't smile much, ior laughter is destructive to certain sorts of make-up; enameling jp only for even­ ing. It's too plain for sunlight." I felt very stuffy with all these washes and paints on my face, and was glad to get them off, though tbe maker-up assured me that everything was purely vegetable. However, one doesn't always care for a vegetable plaster. Vegetables are nice at dinner; beetroot is better in a salad than on one's face in the form of rouge.--Mi*8 Mantilnii in Pall Mall Budget. She Did Mot See It fn That Light. An Arkansas professor married an heiress and got drunk on the wedding trip. When he became sufficiently sober to know anything, he found that his disgusted bride had flown back to the paternal roof-tree. The following brief, but pointed correspondence en­ sued: "My dear Ducky Darling--Please, where are my clothes?" She answered: > "Your clothes are where you left me, and I am where you found me. You may succeed in recovering your duds, but you can't get me any more. <1 am going to stay with dad hereafter." The lady did not seem to take into consideration the fact that some men get intoxicated to celebrate great strokes of fortune. If this had occurred to her perhaps she would have felt flattered by the size and duration of her hus­ band's spree.--Atlanta Constitution. p- : Water Does Babies Good* A distinguished children's doctor believes, from his practice, 'that infants generally, whether brought up at the breast or artificially, are not supplied with sufficient water, the fluid portion of their food being quickly taken up and leaving the solid too thick to be easily digested. In warm, dry weather, healthy babies will take water every hour with advantage, and their frequent fretfulness and rise of temperature are pften directly due to their not having it. A free supply of water and restrict­ ing the frequence of nursing have been found at the nursery to be a most effectual check in cases of incipient fever, a diminished rate of mortality and marked reduction in the number of gastric and intestinal complaints being attributed to this cause. In teeth- cutting, water soothes the gums, and frequently stops tbe fretting and rest­ lessness universal in children at this period. . WOBX to-day, for you know not how much yon may be hindered to-mor- Sb .-V- A ' i • ' , wtha-, Monuments to the Bend. • It has been wisely remarked that "consistency is a jewelbut the author of the remark strangely enough ne­ glected to add that it was rarer than the diamond. All through their life-time we rail at and find fauit with public men. Nothing they ever do quite meets our approba­ tion. We feel that we could have done HO much better if we had been in their places. We wound our friends with cold looks and cross words. We re­ prove our children with harshness. We speak unkindly to the poor old father or mother, who tries our patience with seemingly needless questions. We pick our minister's beat sermons all to pieces, and «av that he had better quit preach­ ing and go to sawing wood. We are not satisfied with our family physician, and we take patent medicines until we do not care whether we live or die, and then say that we were not treated prop­ erly in the first place. We are a race of fault-finders. The husband will feel himself a mar­ tyr of the first water if he finds a hole in tbe toe of his stocking; he will be sulky for half a day if his dinner is fifteen minutes late, and he will snap out at his wife about it, and set her off into the lachrymose state; and she will wish she had remained an old maul; and he will think how much happier Brown is, and Brown lias never mar­ ried; but wberi that wife dies, her hus­ band forgets her short-comings, and proceeds to remember her in marble, and make a sort of paint of her. Just so we do with regard to our pub­ lic men. We tear their character into shoe-strings when they, are alive, but when they are dead, we begin to raise money for monuments to their memory. Aud it is perfectly astonishing how a man's fame grows after he is dead! Now all this sort of tliiog is not1 good sense. The dead have no need of our kind offices. It matters nothing to them what the leading newspapers s,ay of them. All the laudatory notices in the obituary columns are of no account to tliem. A monument reaching to the skie3 is worth no .more to a dead man than a j>ine shingle placed at the head of his grave. Our duty is to the living--not to the dead. Your lmrd-worked wife--who during her life-time never has a cent she ean call her own, who toils until she can toil no longer, to save up money which you will expend iu a monument to com­ memorate her virtues after she is dead would have been much more bene­ fited by the price of that marble in­ vested in comfortable clothing and help in the kitchen when she stood in need of it. And you would have displayed a much more sensible affection for herr by spending the money on her during her life, than by spending it on her tombstone after she is dead. And how is it about kind words ? We' are all ready to say pretty things about those who are dead. Then we remem­ ber only their virtues. Why is it not just as easy to see their good qualities while they are living? Why not be charitably, blind to their faults while they are here? Why not erect our monuments to the living instead of the dead? Why not, all the way along, bear in mind that our living friends are in every respect just as good and', as noble as they will be when they are dead and that it is of vastly more con­ sequence to them'that we treasure them now, rather than when they have passed^ beyond all care- on thought of earthly love? If we could learn to speak as kindly of our living friends as we do of our dead ones, it would show us in a better light to our own hearts, and when some one of our dear ones went on the un­ known way, we should never have to regret the kind offices we might have done for him.--Kate Thorn, in New York Weekly. Hypnotizing by Mail. The London Lancet is responsible for the statement that the dangerous in­ fluence of hypnotism can now be sent by mail. It is said a Dr. Bramwell in London can not only subdue the will of. those subjects with whom he uomes in personal contact, but he can actually do his magic power up in a piece of paper, inclose in an envelope and stamp it, and then a la Haggard's "She,"' "blast" from afar. This power,, it is said, comes in .the order, " Go to sleep- by order of Dr. Bramwell." Why should this business be delayed by the slow process of the mails ? Why not hypnotize by telegraph ? The value of the occult "science" can then be materially enhanced and the field opened to a skillful practitioner of the profession beoome limitless. He can be- the powerful ally of the surgeon, and anaesthetics with physic ean bo thrown to the dogs. A mau is hurt in Cincinnati, and there is no hypnotizer at hand. A "Go to sleep" order is re­ quested and at once received by tele- graph. A burglar wants to smooth the way for a successful dark lantern inspection of his neighbor's valuables, requests that these neighbors be put to sleep and if there is no long-fanged dog about there is not even a necessity for the use of sneak shoes or outsiders. He can knock the doors down and load up with hot stoves if he wants to. The hypno-' tized will be indifferent to noise. More­ over, what un opportunity for election frauds Dr. Bramwell's newly discovered power would open up 1 A sleeping order could be sent to the judges and clerks at a preconcerted time and the count could then go on after the most approved Fourth Ward, A, methods. Or, better still, the whole political opposition on election day could be hypnotized by the party that first retained Dr. Bramwell. A Watchful Detective. Inspector---How long have you been on the force ? . Detective--Five years. "Did you ever catch anybody ?* "No, sir." "Then why should we keep you longer?" v "I know that I never caught a thief, but you must consider that no thief has ever caught me, either. You do not expect a man to do everything, do you?"--Chicago Inter-Ocean. The Spring Way. "Well, ma'am," said the landlord, after taking an hour to show he^ over the house, "what do you think?" "I rather like it." "Yes." ! "If you'll take out the furnace and put in steam, change the ftfbnt stairs, put in plate glass, run the bay wiudow up, reduce the rent from $00 to $30 per month, and move the house over on Woodward avenue, I think we'll take it for a year.--Detroit Free Press. THE Presbytery for Oregon has de­ cided that all candidates for license I Ttmgf rmifr. frVia ncia nf tpbaCOO 4 9 1 1 1 1 1 a ? ̂ ' ' & Po®r Lone Orphan, ipjflfjilte AMete Take Care of Henwlf. About two years after my graduation in the College of Medicine, while yet a young man of ardent feelings and sym­ pathies, I was called through special influence to a professorship in a West­ ern college with permission ito attend to a few special cases outside. The in­ stitution was an excellent one, but the neighborhood limited and thinly settled. Social life in that locality was hardly fascinating to the habitue of the metrop­ olis. Thus I got to visiting an- "all around" store where loungers congre­ gated, as well as all the cranks and humorists of the place. The storekeeper himself was a character--strong in sense, sterling in honesty, pleasant and kind in the main, but there was still a sort of subdued ferocity about "old Bill Farrar." He broke his Jeg once and I was called on to officiate. I was introduced to his comfortable home and to his wife, a quiet, commonplace, toothless old woman, and to his step-grand-daughter, Pearl Ainslie--a name for a poem, isn't it? How strange to fiud tins beauteous flower growing up in a semi-wilderness, as I thought it, though the people around there evidently considered it the center of civilization and cradle of the arts. As far as I could see this Pearl of price was growing up without any, companionship except those two old people. But the old woman doted on her and Bill's harsh voice softened, 1 thought, with a yearning tenderness when he addressed her. What a face she had I Pallid as moonlight, fair as a lotos lily, with delicately chiseled! features and eyes blue as violets, full of a mournful, ten­ der pathos, a sort of desolate appeal for tove that melted a man's stout heart. , I grew to fancy I knew her quite well, though I never caught a dozen words of her low silver voice; She always blushed and remained silent in my presence. ' "Poor orphan!" I thought, "poor girl I shut up with these two old people; Yet, doubtless, she loves them and appre­ ciates their tender care and devotion," She interested me so that I talked oi her to my wife and nothing but tender pity filled my heart for Pearl. One day in the midst of a freezing winter Mr. Farrar was taken down with pneumonia. Although I preferred not to extend my practice out of the college limits, I responded again to his call foi Pearl's sake. A few days sufficied to show me all was tip with him. The girl's beautiful nature shone out in this dangerous hour as she comforted hec grandmother and nursed her grand­ father. Th<% last summons came foi me. Too late! I entered the bedroom with the- gray light of dawn. Th« grandmother had been hurried from the room by careful hands. Pearl was alone with the stark, livid face on the bed. My heart melted for the poor, lonely girl. I went up to the fire where she stood,'4 dry-eyed and pale, and took both her little hands in mine. She lifted hev sweet, appealing face and 3poke. And these were her,words: "Doc,, do you think the old devil ie real good and dead? He's been like unto the dade three or four times befo: and just as me- and granny got him ready for beddin' out he come to, and the doctor we hadi befo'you, he called 1 a cathelickenit fit, though we nevet *ad no cats round--I despise 'em." I dropped her hands quick, but I as­ sured her this was a legitimate case for "bedding out," and, by way of remind­ ing this sweet, seductive, horrible girl of her situation, I said: "But I fear you will be very lonesome." "Me lonesome? Not if I know it. Me and' Bill Simpson '11 get married on the straight come- Christmas, now the old ,mau ain't here to cuss, and sw'ar and threaten to hoof Bill out, 'Cau^e he don't want to spa^ me from doin' chores. I was alius of p, tremble for fear he'd gobble Bill or Bill 'ud make hash cut 'c him. It's a raal rest to think the old alligator's jaws are shet up at last. I'll take care o' granny, doc. She'll be company whan Bill's out trappin' and 4ne can help sling pots and tote babies." I left her to nurse these glad dreams of the future and the last words I heard her speak as I descended the doorsteps were: "Look here, granny, you just stop that air moanin' and gnoshin' your teeth--only you ain't got none to gnash -and come andi help me, you and Sally .nn,. to lay out your old man. The .doctor says he's ready to plant now, sure^. and you ain't goin' to git marriedi no more, nuther. Now you just re­ member that, grannie. Bill and. I'll get married and run this house, and I ain't goin' to have no men a runnin sound here antickin' after you, granny. I don't keer how frisky a widow you be." Upon the whole, I think that girl can take ear* of herself. Don't you ? Inviting nn Invitation. A minister had traveled some dis­ tance to preach, and at the conclusion of the morning service waitod for some one to invite him to dine; but the con­ gregation dispersed without noticing him. When the house was nearly empty, the minister stepped up to a gentlaman and said: "Brother, will you ge> home to dinner with me to-day?" "Where do you live?" "About eighteen milos from here, sir." , "No, but you must 3&ae with me, answered the brother, with a flushed faoe, which invitation the clergyman gravely accepted. L1ASAKT PARAGRAPHS, [Gleaned from oor Kzch«JL#ee.f * MRS. JOXES says the latest thing itt gent's clothes is her husband; he is never home before midnight. THERE is a deaf and dumb mat! In Kansas seven feet tall. TIUB is what WE might call a long silence. " f MAMMA--Come, little girl, get ready for bed. Little girl--What's the hurry,! mamma; we've got all the night-t* sleep. j A ISASI'S better half lays down the rules in the house, but at this season she usually allows her husband to layi? down tbe carpets. Ax American Ignoramus.--Wilkins--- Who is going to be nominated for that position next time? Milkins--I don't know. I've not been drinking much lately, and haven't kept posted. DYING Pugilist--I've only one favor to ask of you. Doctor--Name it, my dear sir; it is already granted. Dying Pugilist--See that the newspapers don't say that I was in the "pink of condi­ tion." _ FIRST Young Lady (at railroad sta­ tion)--What time is it now, dear ? Sec­ ond Yonng Lady (looking at her watch) --Mercy! We must begin sayinggood- by, dear. The train will be here in half an hour. "Yotj say that you stopped at the Skirata Hotel all the time yon were j away! Wasnl the bill pretty high for ] a man of your means?" "Oh, not too ^ high. I managed to iump it without J much trouble." v | SQUEE&S--Talk about colored men being the biggest class of waiters ; I 1 tell you it ain't so. Billgus--Well, •< who make up the biggest class of wait- % erh ? Squeers--Those who have given i their orders. "WHAT sort of a bird is tbat on your new bonnet, dear?" "Why, it's an oriole. What did j&vt ask that question j for?" "I thought it was a snipe." "A snipe P "Yes, judging from' the bill • that came with it." ~ J A LESSON in Language--""What are J we waiting on, Conductor?" asked a i passenger from Chicago, when the train eame to a standstill. " We are waiting ii on the track," replied the CTsaductor, | who was a Boston man. LAD*--Your references are all right, | and if your cooking is really good 111 < hire you. Cook--If yez have any doubts about me cookiu' ask Perlace- man Doolihan, who was on the bate where I lived with my last family. "Now, CHILDREN," said the good man, "I have told you where the <good bo^s go and where the bad boys go. Which | would you choose?" "Please^ sir, I'd | rather go to the circus," answered the little Harlem fellow in the back seat. AN electrician lias invented a •wonder-, T, ful watch that will tell a man when his note is coming due. His watch would be a great deal more remarkable, as well as useful, if it would tell the man where to get the money to pay the note. " GEOKGE," said Estelle, with a smile, "your glove is all ripped. You ought to have some one to keep them in re­ pair and sew buttons on your coat." "You wouldn't like to--to--to be at. sis­ ter to me, would yon, Estelle ?"'said George; TENANT--The windows in your house shut so badly that my hair blows a'l about my head. Yon must really ha something done to • them. Landlords-- - don't see the necessity for that.. It would be much simpler for you to hove your hair out. * | ANXIOUS Motheiv--I wish. Susan, that ' when you give a baby a bath you. wouid^f use the thermom.eter, so as to asoertain whether the water is at the proper tem- % perature. Susan--0h^ don't you worrit about that, ma'am;: I don't need* no 'mometers. If the little one turns red, . the water's too hot; if it turns blue;.it's too cold;, and that's all there is-about it.- "THIS is about the time of the year," said Mrs. Watts to her neighbor j. "that the fishing fever strikes my husband. If he can get out on the banks of some creek and catch two or three little mud- cats in the course of an afternoon, he is I perfectly happy." "Indeed! So he is fond of fishing, then ?"" "Fond of fish- i ing? Why, that inanis aperfectangte- maniac." GIVING UP SMOKING. Although he'll refuse, -without doubt, to- «**» No matter how hard he 1* pressed*-- 'When a youth gives np> smoking- 'tis- «Mf 'ta guess "" It Is at some fair maititn's request. v V And whemhe. at some future periodj The pipe cigarette or cigar, And more of the "soother" than Humes- He's married--or theao's been a jafc --IHspatcK Baser Sort*. The Fashionable Malady. 'Absalom, is tlat jou?" called out Mrs. Rambo from the hood ol the stair­ way. "Yesli, m' dear?" came from the hall below, where Mr. Rambo was endeavor­ ing with great earnestness to grasp the stairpost as it flew past him in one of its bewildering revolutions. "It'shme!" "And you are drunk again! O Absa­ lom !" "You wrong me, Nanshy!" ho mum­ bled, much hurt at the cruel suspicion. "It'sh nothin' in th' worl', m' dear, but nervoush proshtration f I'm a Ii*i . bit more--more nervoush an' a li'l bit worse pr-pr-proshtrated 'n usual. Thassall, Nanshy!"--Chicayo Tribune. Matrimonial Confab. "That was a very fooli;Ut woman in New York," observed Mr. Billus, laying his morning paper down for a moment and renewing tile attack upon his beef­ steak, "that married the wrong man the other day and blurted out her con­ fession to tbat effect at the ultar. The young man she didn't marry has had a lucky escape." • ' „ ™Yes, she was foolish to make a fuss at such a time," assented Mr». Bflhu, who was staring abstractedly at *the walL "Most women find out soon enough that they havo marriod the wrong man, but they have sense enough to keep still about it. Have some more Jwim ?" she inquired *woeU^. ;v- * ? ' ̂ "" "Yes," said a Pearl street barber as he was shaving me- the other day, "we often have amateur shavers bring us their razors to be fixed up. Almost any man with a steady hand can shave him­ self, but not one iu fifty can keep his razos in a decent condition. The first reason is that amateurs wear all the temper out of their razors by excessive strapping, and the better the steel the easier it is affected in this way. The only remedy is to let it alone. Put, away the razor tbat scrapes and cuta the skin and give it a good rest. Then] use it again, and in all probability it will be in good shapev Some of the modern shaving sets have as many ra­ zors as there are days in a week, and on the handle of each is engraved the name of a day. If the rotation is kept up very little sharpening is needed. I have heard men talk' of pet razors^ which they used every day for ever so many years; if they would let those lie by for "a while they would find a wel­ come improvement. The second cause of the trouble is bearing on tbe razor j while sharpening it. You never want to attempt to put on an edge before shaving. When you are through rub the blade a few times lightly on a plain leather strap, which need not cost above a quarter, and then put it away. The, old boiling water craze is exploded now, and professionals do just as good work with cold water as hot."--Albany Ar~ gus. Taffy. * Servant girl--Why don't yon oom% around to the back door instead of ring- ing the front door bell? Tramp--Because I am sure one of the kitchen ladies is sure to answer the bell, while I might find the missus in the kitchen, and she would set the dog on me likely. The kitchen ladies don't do that. They give poor fellows like me a bite of sutbin' to eat instead of the bite of a dog. • 1 He was befriended.--BoatonCouritt. A WEST VIRGINIA lover of ninety years walked twenty miles to court a widow of sixty-five. There is no fool like an old fool. A young lover would have hired a team,* or else got a girl ;*£•» ' ••>** . V-i- . . . A J " $ '

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