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'MM s " 1J ARREST. j woman of to-rlay fchonld fit ImmtwHI for . -w..... m ; s«lf-asser1ion soul support in life, with- ft.UWleKI)Mfne88 Mightier Tfc*a «n Oa- j 0ut refrar<j to marriage. That mic;ht oor'sciab. j be accepted as a possible incident, but ^*1 shall never forget the first arrest i should not bo sought; or, at least, C jnaclo as Chief of 1'o ice of La Crosse," j should not be regarded as essential to Mid Geo. \V. Peck, the father of i usefulness or happiness. Still, it is tile "Bad Boy." ^There was a charae- j intimated that the r. umber who will tor in town," said' he, known as Iriah take the further eonrse was oonsider- Mary. She was in the workhouse [ ably diminished. , SAVING SCfWEjiiE. |3f;' FftV about three hundred and sixty days in the year. tVhen she would serve out her time, in the morning, for instance, j the would be back lxjfore night. She was the terror of the force. It always took four men aod[adray to bring her in. j There was no such thing as walking her to the station. They would throw her on a dray and sit on her and she yelled like a Comanche until she wan pnt behind the bars. After I became chief I wondered what I could do to reform this woman. I wanted the tight of bringing her to the station on ft dray stopped. It was demoralizing. Every man on the force had had a tus- lle with her. Every man on the force had a scar where she had bitten, scratched or hit him. I knew that I oouldn't reform her with the old force, •nd no new man would join the force unless it was agreed that he should Jjjjftve nothing to do with Irish Mary. 1 W>neluded I would try it myself. "She was serving out a ten days' t6rm when I took charge. On the last day of her time I went to her cell and laid to her that I was Chief of Police. / ' "fihe put her hands on her hips, looked at me and laughed. She evidently thought I was a poor one, I then told her that when she got out I wanted her Ip come to the office, straight from the station. She did and I told her 1 had ibme work for her to do. It was done \nd I paid her liberally. I gave her $5. The job wasn't worth more than $1. Then I told her that I wanted her to promise me that she would spend this * money in some saloon near the City Hall, and that I would come after her .V:-jnyself. I said to her: 'Mary, when I «ume to arrest you I am going to treat fou like a lady, and I want you to treat ' £t« tike a gentleman. I dont want you j to bite, scratch or claw. No)v go, aud • - make it near by so 1 won't have to walk too far.' "She gave me a strange look. I think ft was the first time any official had <8vet- spoken to her kindly. I thought Once I could detect tears in her eye9, but I guess that wa9 a fancy. I gave £hf»truotions to the force not to arrest Irish Marv without mv order. I raised the window in inv office and sat down to listen. Irish Mary had a yell on her ;ftrhen she got started that was like the "unearthly whistle of the tug O. B. <0rten, of Chicago. I had told Mary tiot to take more than three drinks and ™#ien yelk Pretty soon we lieurd her Old, familiar yell. Everybody in town *|tnew it. Word had been passed around fhat the new Chief of Police was going ....'••Ho arre>t Mary and the people and the force were hiding around ia the busi­ ness center to see the performance. "When I heard the yell I started. I jfound Mary in a saloon near by. She ;%as making the air dangerous. I said, *Mary, you know what you promised -,•» Sie; that you would come with me and 4that you wouldn't bite, claw or hit S'ake my arm. Iam going to treat you like a lady.' She took my arm and we r talked to the station. Business was jjkuspeuded for a few minutes along that street. Several times Mary acted as if she was going to yell, but she put her Ihand to her mouth each time and asked Iny pardon. She asked where the dray •"-.|fras and I told her that ladies ditV not Jtfde on drays. 'And Oi'm a ladv?' ~fhe asked. I said: 'Yes, Mary, you £re a lady and have got to be treated V.'-Jike a )*dy.' I was saying all this to keep her quiet. She would look at me, •hut her eye and say: 'Oi'm a lady, s ijjim I?' I said yes. 'And ye're a gintle- man ?' she repeated. And then she -%ou!d add, 'Well, if I ev^r tot I'd live "~too see the loik-e of this--Oi'm a lady ^ And ye're a gintlenian!' |v • ^ " We reached the station and one of ••f the patrolmen was crossing the hall, jjk' "Mary saw him. It. was like the red rag ' *nd the bull. 'Arrah, now,' she said, it* lie off wid ve, and don't ye tech me or f„'\ Til kick the clothes off ye, for Oi'm a IV' „ lady.' _ "I don't know that her reformation * • jnras immediate. I know it wasn't. But % think that incident caused her to hink. And she finally quit drinking. relative died in Ireland and left her iome money, and the last I heard of her the was living on the old sod. "There was no more clubbing on the ]La Crosse police while I was chief. A little kindness with a little discretion is mightier than the •elub." » H*w It AfTects Marriage. In a recent discussion among some of the young ladies about to conclude *• t'omting In the Alps. Mountain-climbing has its diversions as well as its terrors and excitements. Monsieur Tissot describes an amusing experience in Switzerland, while de­ scending the Piz Languard which, twenty years ago, was only known to shepherds and chamois-hunters. Jiow, however, its fame is universal in the world of travelers. The descent was accomplished in an hour. It was a pleasure party, a fete. I found myself with a gay party of Austrian tourists, with whom 1 speedily became acquainted. Arriving at the top ot a great decliv­ ity of frozen snow, the guide stopped, aud asked, addressing himself to the ladies: "Should you like to amuse yourselves a little ?" "We should not be Viennese if we refused. Yes, let us amuse ourselves. The snow i< so delightful." Impatient and curious, they quickly grouped themselves about the guide. "Well, we will descend this beautiful snowy slope in a few minutes, without the smallest danger. It is, only neces­ sary that the ladies should have cour­ age. This is how we prdfceed. Each gentleman must seat himself, and take a lady behind him, holding her firmly by the ankles. At my signal, you must all let yourselves slide down. It is not difficult, and we shall gain half an hour." This manner of descending, much used in the Alps, was new to the ladies, and seemed to them both droll and original. Each of us seated ourselves on an overcoat, folded in four, and the ladies on their shawls, which were drawn over their knees. At the word of command, we set off, dragging our companions, laughing, and uttering little shrieks. Some awkward couples came to grief, but not seriously, and the adventure terminated without further incident. At the foot of the slope, the travelers, a little giddy from the headlong journey, rose, powdered with snow, and shook themselves like water-dogs which had just crossed a river. A New J'aris Swindle, Once more the telephone trick has been tried--with remarkable success this time, says the Paris correspondent of the I^ondon ,Telegraph--on the highly respectable restaurateur who had obtained notoriety or perhaps re­ nown of recent months by catering for the distinguished prisoners who have been temporarily incarceiated in the gloomy conciergerie. Lately the caterer supplied with food the Marquis de Mores, who was arrested in connec­ tion with the May-day demonstrations, and it was in the name of this very nobleman, who is now out on bail, that the new telephone trick was perpe­ trated. The restaurateur, or one of his as­ sistants, was called to the telephone yesterday afternoon and directed to prepare a copious repast for the Mar­ quis de Mores and four other gentle­ men who were to accompany him. This order was apparently all right, as the Marquis had dined the day before at the rastauraut *£ter ha had left the office of the Judge d'Instruction, at whose disposal he holds himself while out on bail. Shortly after tlie receipt of the order the telephone bell rang again, and the restaurateur was told that a box of special Havanas would be sent to him for the Marquis, aud would be good enough to pay the mes­ senger for the cigars. The reply was "Yes," whereupon the messenger soon appeared, carrying the box of cigars all right as to its exterior, and received fifty francs for the same. In the meantime the dinners were prepared aud the shades of evening were falling very fast indeed, but neither the Marquis de Mores nor any of his friencU showed their faces. Ghastly suspicion then floated through the mind of the restaurateur, aud verdant pallor suffused his countenance | when he discovered tlie exteut to which he had been "sold" by some keen-witted knight of industry. The brown box, confidently supposed to contain a con­ signment of choice Havanas, was the sepulchre of a email-sized brick, which was carefully enveloped in the remnants of a lady's nocturnal gown. How a Cli«rsr« of Mhot 'J ravel*. When standing within a few yards of the gun's muzzle at the time of dis- their education, so far as it is given in I charge, a person would be amazingly fhe public school system of this city, of the question of adding a four years' Course at one of the universities, a sym­ posium worthy of the Twilight Club tvas had. says the Saint Paul Daily "Globe. The relations of advanced cul­ ture to the life and influence of women In society were considered in many and Varied phases. The most notable and "Effective point adverse to the collegiate bourse was made by a bright and " Vivacious member of the party. She said she had thought of going to a | jbeigliboring college, and would enjoy she course, but had decided against it a*--for the reason that she had discovered | that the higher education was a virtual | Jjarrier to matrimony. Figures were $ y! lulduced from a magazine article show- f* |ng that in the case of the New England , fsolleges the records kept show that in y the twelve years after graduation, the fy /" ;:jUmit of the matrimonial period, virtually less than one-fourth of the educated V |adies married; and, in cases where the \ education has been in strictly female SC." institutions, without mixture of the | jsexes, only ,14.8 uer cent, married be- l'* fore passing into the desuetude of the spinster state. Some figures of New "York institutions also were given of a !t ?*rery similar character. It was shown . that this was not chiefly due to the lack * J~~; <pf marrying men, as those who stopped v*hort of the higher course had at least 1>0 per cent, more chances of marrying, ir ' The younsr lady was frank to say that • *he believed in matrimony, and was ^ jpld-fasliioned enough to hold that it jfe -fvas, in theory at least, the ideal state for woman. She was not specially 5">-v solicitous about her own fate in this V connection, but did not propose to. di- g? % tninish her chances by the loss of four . y years. She was ambitious. If she a w. went through the higher course she would try to keep up with the male in- j. . tellects. Her observation was that inen were slow in marrying women who "teemed to be brighter and knew more if^^hau they.did. Then the higher edu- b cation was apt to give the srirls a dis­ taste for domestic and household duties. ^ Even the few years in the high school I|Jbad in her own case made the home \ Sphere leas acceptable to her. Others $f the company insisted that the young astonished were lie only able to see the shot as they go whizzing by. Experi­ ments in instantaneous photography have proved tons that the shot not only spread out, comet-like, as they fly, but they string out one behind the other to a much greater distance than they spread. ThuM, with a cylinder gun, when the first shot of a charge get that is forty yards shot is lagging along ten Even with the choke- of the shot will lag be- yards in forty. This ac- reaclies a away, the la yards behir bore gun soj1 hind eight &bL' I***#*:- counts for the wide swarth that is mown in a flock of ducks on which a charge of shot falls just right. About five per cent, only of the shot arrive simultane­ ously at the target, but the balance of the first half of the charge is so close behind that the bird's muscles are not quick enough to get out of the way, al­ though those who have watched sitting bird» when shot at have often seen them start as if to fly when the leading shot whistled by them, only to drop dead as they were overtaken by the leaden hail. - Frank Leslie's Illustrated, Newspa­ per. Patient Little .ll^^rlan Wives. The same general rule that the wife shall wait upon* her husband seems as prevalent here as in Algiers. At the station we saw a beautiful young wife, of whose pretty features I caught a brief glimpse, as she was arranging her head drapery. She had come to see her husband off by the train, and not only carried lm hand-luggage to the station for him, but stood in line at the ticket office while he lounged about and smoked with his friends. After a weary wait, she carried his packages again to the train, put them in the car for him, and then took his proffered hand, and bending low over it kissed it reverently. And this was a delicate-looking girl, about twenty yeas of age, dressed in garments of "the finest texture, her neck, arms, and ankles covered with jewels, while her lord and master was a stalwart 3*oung man not more than 30 years old. Poor sisters of Blidahl-- "Vtica Observer. T he end of Mormonism--to get m many wives as possible. r, A *<*>• lagenaiiy to Get Hi Call to Freaelt The Bev. Jonas Fletcher entered his house with a dejected step and flung his satchel on the table with a sigh that was almost a groan. "Another disappointment?" said his wife, who was giving the children their suppers. "Didn't they want you at Jen­ nings Corners?" "They don't want me anywhere," groaned Mr. Fletcher, "I am too old. I preached one of iny best sermons and thev listened well," but afterward t-hey told me point blank that they wanted a younger man. It's the same every­ where I go." "I think it was a great shame when you had preached fifteen years for one congregation to turn you off because vour hair was white. I'm sure that was all the fault thty found with you. Why, Jonas, you are not really old. Did ypu ever tell them you were only 50?" "No. It is "just the age when a preacher should be at his best; but they want young men nowadays who are full of enthusiasm--who o m use and interest, rather than instruct. I have kept up with the times in my WJrk, but 1 don't look it --I don't look it. ' "I have an idea," said his wife sud­ denly, dropping the youngest child as she hastily jumped to her feet. By the time they had pacified the youngster she had imparted her idea in undertones which the children could not hear. "It would be wrong. I never could do it," said fhe minister. "Nonsense! We must have bread and a roof to cover i\s, and it is your only chance. When do you go to the last place that called you ?" "On Saturday, if I go at all. I will give them my sermon on 'The Boauty of Revelation.' Thit is one of my best efforts. Mary, I would like to have call to that church. I feel that there are ten vears of good work in me yet, but my white hair will ruin my chances." "Have it cut close to your head," sug­ gested his wife. "And go into the pulpit looking like a prizefighter? That wouldn't improve matt era," answered her husband. The afternoon of the day previous to that on which he was to make his final effort to secure a church the Rev. Jonas disappeared from the eyes of men. His wife was at home, expecting him home every moment and wondering what kept him. The afternoon wore away and it was nearly night when there ' came a loud peal at the door bell. "Stay here, children," said Mrs. Fletcher as she heard that ominous peal. Then r-he tore off her apron and ran distractedly to the door. A tall, rather handsome, young-look­ ing man stood there with a clerical black satchel in his hand. "Is Mr. Fletcher at home?" ' be in­ quired. No, sir; he is not,"« answered Mrs. Fletcher, who thought she recognized the earmarks of the profession; "and don't know where he is." "I will wait for him with your per­ mission," said the sti*anger, and there was nothing lett to do but to aak him in send make the best of it. "Have you come from a distance?" asked Mrs. Fletcher, as she rolled up the shades in the little parlor and asked the stranger to be seated. "I am from Mr. Fletcher's native town," answered the caller. "We were classmates together, and 1 should like to see him again very much." • . "I can not imagine what keeping • him," began Mrs. Fletcher, but there she stopped and looked hard at her visitor. Then she threw up both hands and he rose to his feet. "Jonas!" "Mary!" "You've gone and done itF* "How do I look?" **I never was so deceived in my life. You look twenty years younger!" "I only hope it won't be counted against mew as a mortal sin!" "Nonsense! I never believed you would do it, but you will have to abide by it now. And if you succeed you can feel pretty sure that it is right. Only, Mr. Fletcher's classmate is a good many years youuger than Mr. Fletcher. Jonas, it don't seem to be you." Aud then the poor woman broke down and had a good cry. The reader can imagine what Mr. Fletcher did--tlie chronicler will never tell. But he preached that fine sermon on "Tlie Beauty of Revelation" with a troubled heart. Aud he received a call to the church which he accepted. One of the deacons remarked to him at the time: "We are so glad, Brother Fletcher, that you are not an old man. Some of our folks got it into .their heads that you were past your prime, but I told them to wait and see, and I was right." "So was my wife," thought Brother Fletcher.--Mrs. M. L. Baijne, in De­ troit Free Press. ' Or. Collyer'B Bxpurienee In America. It is exactly forty years to a day, as I write these lines, since I came here my­ self on that same old errand--to find my way into an ampler and finer life; and in this time it has fallen to my lot beyond that of most men-- and our friend, it may be, among the rest--to mingle with our people far and wide aud -to know them, as we say, like a book--a3 a workingman in the shops for about nine years, and then as a minister in two great cities, and a lecturer all the way between oceans and to stand with them shoulder to shoulder as a citizen alw&vs; to stay with them in their homes wherever 1 would go, and talk with them freely on all the burning questions of the old times and the new, and never to lose my love for England or my oride in her and joy; going about, indeed, "with n chip on my shoulder" touching what might be said of her which was unttuc to me or unfair; and the result of it all is this: that I have not found what J should feel free to call the hatred o England, except in here and there a man who stands as the exception to the rule, if we leave out of the account the troubled years of the war for the Union, when our people believed England would and did strike below the l>elt. * * * Then our people did hate England, for in the smoke and thunder of the war this was England with blat­ ant voice cursing the American repub­ lic. One of the noblest fellows I ever knew, and a leader in his great .city, said to me then: "Darn her! we will never forgive her while the world stands," though he was not apt to swear, and I think the angel of the records knew that as well as I did.--Robert Cohyer, in North American Review. A ween at East Bradford, Pa., built a nest in the sleeve of a garment that had been hung up in the yard to dry. D on't try to drown your sorrows in a jug; troubles are great Asheville (N. C.) Citizen. . \ ODD, QUEER." ffijjyCUftlOUS, A P hii.a»fxphia father has recently mid $3,500 for a doll's, house for his ittle girL x , I t is said that hop vines in Pdyallnp, Wash., recently grew thirteen inches in in fourteen houre. Herr Noll, , a mechanician of Berlen- gen, Germany, li&s constructed'^ clock warranted to rua without winding up for 9,1)99 years.* -t ^ I taly lias turned out a torpedo-ram that can firfe a 448-potind projectile through twenty-sis inches of solid iron. From Georgia comes the story that a Gainesville lad ate forty-eight bananas on a wager, and then, like Oliver Twist asked "for more." A Pennsylvania man lias just eloped with his mother-in-law. She is Ger­ man and speaks no English, and he is English and speaks no German. A Si-MHTEECorsTT, Ga., man recently killed seven wild turkeys in three shots. Three birds were killed at the first shot and two at the second and third shots. I t is estimated that the amount of gold in the world is about six hundred and thirteen cubic yards, and it would tit in a room twenty-four feet each way if in a solid cube. Pkincfss de Sagax recently appeared op the beach at Trouviltfc, France, in a bathing costnme, one side of which was white and the other blue, the conceit being carried out to the details of gloves buttons aud shoes. A real horned man ha% been discov­ ered by Captain Alboruog, on the Gran Chaoo, in the Argentine Kepublie. He is'tall, with a full beard, tind two very jerfect horns, like those of a stag, on his forehead. f. "Bio Six," a Birmingham, Ala., col­ ored man, earned five dollars by butt­ ing a three-year-old bull to death. Af­ ter the animal had been butted five times it fell to the ground, and in five tnmutes was dead. The iiegro was not injured. When the King of Samoa ratified the treaty with the United States, in the presence of two hundred and fifty rep­ resentatives of his people, he wore a white derby hat, a white cotton shirt, and a white sheet folded around his loins. He was barelegged and bare­ footed. A certain Boston manufacturer re­ cently had several noticen>]wsted, warn­ ing employes not to meddle with the machinery, etc., if out of order. When pay day came around he deducted from each employe's wages ten minutes paj for time lost in reading the notices. The most expensive thermometer in this country is in use at the Johns Hop­ kins II niveraity. It is known as Pro­ fessor Bowlard's thermometer, and is valued at $10,000. It is an absolutely perfect instrument, and the graduations on the glass are so fine that it in neces­ sary to use a microscope to road them. In the corner-stone of a Protestant Episcopal church, whose erection was begun last week in Brooklyn, there was placed a phonographic cylinder encased in tin, upon which a member had spoken, iu the name of the congrega­ tion, a message, to those who shall, at some future time, uncover the stone. A family in Dover, N. J., who have long been missing • valuables, were amazed a day or two ago to find them in the secret nest of a pet goose. Among the articles which ' the bird had ajrpropriated were two gold thimbles, a tortoise-shell comb, scairf-pins, spools of sewing-silk, silver lace, and a Water- berry watofc. . * "' ' ' * 'Confirmed. The favorable impression produced on the first appearance of the agreeable liquid fruit remedy. Syrup of Figs, a few years ago. has been mote than confirmed by the pleasant, experience of all who have used it. and the success or the proprietors and manufacturers, the California ii* gyrus Company. The Old Pnnd of Lot*. ,£t is not bankrupt yet, whatever.cynics may Bay; and so long as tolerably good men and women live, marriage will not be a failure. But matrimony, like ob^Si- ty, should be acquired in moderation, or i* losts charm. We have never yet met a msn who had two or three wives living in different parts of the country, that was really a .cheerful and contented individ-,£ ual. Old bachelors, tco, arc wont to growl at marr;a_e--but what do they know of ir? Their attitude reminds one of the venerable fable of the fox and the grapes. Marriage is also getting to be unpopular with the men who collect 6t«tistic«^bf crime. It takes many a job out of their hands, rnd gives them more timo than they relish to rule blank columns and speculate on the degenera­ cy of primitive institutions. Finally, marriage is getting "to be unpopular with the anarchist, the thug, the cynic, the undertaker, the blackleg, the hermit and the man who would like to se9 the world rolling swiftly down to destru tion like a big football. Yes, marriage certainly is an unpopular institution with some per­ sons. Bat it is an institution that the world is going to try to put up with for a little while longer nt lea>t. Wives and husbands may frequently fail, bat matri­ mony itseif, never. The world over there hafe been ob- sertcd about 10 1 species of mosquitoes, but in our temperate ionions there ave not apt to be found more thftn ten spe­ cies. It is hardly yet determined wheth­ er their existence is for tho better or woree of mankind, but a gentleman has placed at the disposal of the American Museum of Natural History the sum of $200 to be paid in three prizes for the best essays on the destruction of mos­ quitoes? flies, and other insects. We wonld suggest universal compulsory vaccination with the expectation that in the course of time the mosquities would all die off of blood poisoning.--Dr. Footn's Health Monthly. An Electric Pig. A story which illustrates the dangers of electricity in a humorous way, oomes from St. Paul, Minn. In front of a butcher's shop a half pig was hanging on an iron hook. A dog miming up the street happened to see the pi{& and snuffed it, but ho uttered a cry of pain and ran howling away. ^ A second soon nppeared, and fared no better; he ran away howling. Gradually, as a tbird and fourth shared the same fate, a crowd gathered. One of the owners of the shop, who wanted to find out the oause of the trou le, at 1 st went out and touched tbe pig. and he also tlew back as though something had stung him. An investiga­ tion proved that an electric-light wire had come in contaot with the nook on which the meat was hung. JIAIX'S CATABBH crREl* a liquid and ii taJutt iuteiually. Hold by Druggist*, <&«. JtJDGE--I think you might be honest if . you were to accustom yourself te it. l Prisoner--Maybe so, Judge; habit lgva queer thing.--Texas Si/tings. "D iet defies the kin*." If the old proverb be t-ue, yATOLIO is greater than rovaity itself. Try it in your next house-cleaning. Grocers keep it. No Opium in PIso'a Cure for Consump­ tion. Cures where other remedies fafl. 25c. BABY i TTffl w ii n -j. n tarnish • hone and *r*e tbeirwawa. Spare moments may be pco* A pocket match-safe free to smokers of "Tansill's Puncn" 5Ck Cigar. Irishmen I k Mexico. Gen. Poriirio Diao, President of the sister Republic of Mexico, seems to be not only tho leading mau among hie own countrymen, but a leading man among the world's leaders. He has re­ cently granted large tracts of land to be colonized by Irish immigrants, and, as further inducement, all household aud agricultural implements for the colony can lie entered free of duty. The colo­ nists will be exempt from taxation for three years, and are accorded unusual privileges in other respects. Diaz pro­ poses filling up his vacant place with a class of citizens that are !?ood in peace or in war. The Irish intermarry with the haughty liouris of Ca^tilian lineage, and the amalgamation is a most happy one. Along the line of Southern Texas and through Northern Chihua­ hua (5en. Taylor's soldiers have settled down and married dark-eyed Greaser girls. It is a common and always ludi­ crous sight to tee a small, dark-eyed, dark-visaged, swarthy. sombrero- crowned, cigarette-smoking young man whose English is coniined to a few words, sailing around under the name of Patrick O'Shaaghnessy. This, how­ ever, was his father's name. Paddy j Mullins, a once rollicking Irish lad, is a j several-times millionaire, and known to the world as Don Patricio Milmo. His [ wife is the daughter of an ex-President i of the Republic. Further south, where there is less Aztec and more Spanish blood, marriages between Irish­ men any Mexican maidens is not au un- j usual occurrence. If President Diaz can bring in a few thousand strapping young Irishmen his grandchildren Will bless him for it, No Lnnd on Which the Sun .Shine* Possesses greater natural advuntagea than onr own, but there aro portions <f the great grain- bearing West and fertile South where atmos­ pheric influences prejudicial u> health militate against thorn, in some degree, aa placeB ot resi­ dence. Heavy rainfalls and the overflow of great rivers, which upon their subsidence leave dank vegetation exposed to the rays of the sun, there beget malarial fevers, and there also tho inhabitants are periodically obliged to use some medicinal- safeguard against the scourge. The most popular is Hostettar's Stomach Bitters, a preventive that has for over a third of a cen­ tury afforded reliable protection to those whom experience in the futilit y of ordinary remedies for fever and ag;.e, lias t'auRht to substituta for them. Whether intermittent or remittent, mi­ asmatic fevers are ,conq uersnl and averted by the superb anti-periodic and fortifying medicine as the; ore bv no other prepaysste® in uu. ,4'**P It, and abandon impure loea! bitters. ^ Qnlto Kquitl t > a (Sailor's Y»m» ' Sailor* are proverbial for their t>lg y*ms. But tbey can't^et much ahead of river ujeu. Ihe o'her day captain J. D. Parker got hold of Captain Gibson, and he 8 id: "Dave, you recollect when I was mate ou the Yazoo »nd that streak of lightninsr struck me rs I stood near the j&ckstaff in that terrible storm, and you thought I was dead for sure?" "Oh, yes, very well, but where did the lightning go to, anyhow?" '*<^ "Why, it went right down into my boot* "And you never were hnrt?" "No, sir. not a bit. I just took my boot off and poured the lightning out on deck." And the two worthies went to look at the weather mau.--Cincinnati Enquirer. NEW TRANS-CONTINeNTAL ROUTE, Via Chicago, Mliwa*»lf»e * 8b Paul and Northern !Pacitlc "ffallroada. Through Full in nn Sleeping Car leaves Chicago daily nt .0:30 p. m. . For St. Paul nnd Minneapolis. For Far.'o, North 1'nkota. For Helena and Butte, Montana. For the Yellowstone Park. For Spokane Falls and Tacoma, For Portland, Oregon. Best lloute to Seattle and all North Pacific Coast points. The scenic line to California, via Port­ land nnd the Shasta ltoute. 'tickets on sale at I'll" Clark street and Tnion Passenger Stition, Canal, Adams and Madison streets, Chicago. lite fearful Slot Machine. A farmer from New Hampshire reached Boston for the first, time the other day, and while perambulating through the city espied a slot machine. Reading tho lines which said: "Drop a nickel in the slot," he appeared greatly excited. He made himself as scarce"as i»ossibl«,. rushing for a hotel as quickly as he could tind one. Ap­ plying at lhe desk for a room he was told to put his name in the big book. When the clerk looked at the auto­ graph he smiled. The name was Robert Nickel. The poor man mnst have been afraid that he would be dropped into the slot machine.--Boston Democrat. That Decixiou Again. 'I have had a delightfnl evening," he said, as he took his bat and rose to go. "May I call ngain?" "I shall be glad te see you," she replied with a blush. As he walked out into the hall lie saw in the mirror of the hat-rack a reflection of the roguish girl slyly throwing a kiss at him, and he turned back. "I must have that in the orig nal pack­ age," he whispered. He was a Kansas yonng man and he got it. W e moved here reoawtly. and the drug­ gist said he didn't have any Dr. Bull's Worm Destroyer*}, bus when I said I wouldn't have any rtiier. he said he would K'et some in a .ew d.i *. and so he did. 1 know. what Dr. Bull's W "ni Destroyers will'do. and wili not give l»>r children any other.-- Mrs. J. D. lilair, Jfurton. Cal. Value «f Billiard*. Mrsi McCue--Humph! Been play­ ing billiards all the evening, eh? merelv plaving billiards, were yon? McCue--That'ti all. m' dear. "What earthly good does billiards do? Tell me that." "It (hie) trains ze eye, m' dear--learn ze angles, you know (hie), m' dear." "Oh! You learn angles, do you? Well, I'll take this piece of chalk you have in your hand, ' and I'll draw an angle on the floor, and if you can't walk it you'll play no more billiards."--Asw l'ork Weekly. , Tx>vet'» Logie. /J fiomeo Jimson--I fear nw I must leave thee, beloved. It must be late, very late. I hear the newsboys calling out the morning papers. Juliet Whimson--Stay. Tis not the morn. 'Tis yesterday's papers they sell. Romeo--Nay. 'Tis to-day's. Juliet--Delay yet a little while. Tis Weekly. The famons St. Bernard dogs are very careful'y trained. A traveler who visited some of the monasteries of the monks ot 6t. Bernard a few years as;o found the monks teaching their dogs from the earliest stages of puppybood. Not only is physical and mental trximng included in the teaching, but spiritual culture is by no means neglected. At meal times the dogR sit in a row, each with a tin dish before him conta n<n* his repast. Grace is said I y one of tbe monks; the dogs snt motionless with towed heads. Not one stirs until the "amen" is spoken. If a frisky puppy partakes of his meal before grace is over, an older dog growls and gently tugs his ear. b'ix KoveLt Fret, will be seat by Cragtn St ( o.. Philada., Pa., to any one in the U. S. or Canada, postage paid, upon receipt of 25 Dobbin-*' Electric Soap wrappers. See list of novels on eir ulars around each bar. Soap tor sale by all grocers. The sloop-of-war Enterprise has a rec­ ord of a thoroughly discontented lot of officers and crew--four general courts martini, twentv-tbree summary courts martial, sixty-three deserters, and several score of alleged illegal punishments of enlistei men. B eecbJ lm' s P ills cure Bilious and Nerv­ ous Ills. Ik a doubtful State: W«4k 11 «h« teres me?--Boston Herald. "Good t As Cold B j entlnviastic are thousands of people over the benefits derived from Hood's Sirsapsrills that they can hardly find words to express their confidence in and Gratitude for this medicine. -Worth its weight iu said" is a favorite expression of these warm friends. If yon need a good medicine to purify jour l>lood and build up your strength, try .; Hood's Sarsaparilla Soldbr all druggists, tl: for lYeparadenty by O. I. HOOD & CO.. Lowell. Masa. IOO Doses One Dollar DmCinNC PATENTS and Government claims of aU I LnulUMy kind-i prosecuted by Thos. McShekht, Attorney at Law. Washington. D. C.. and Fremont, t>. PATENTS F. A. tEHMAWf, Wnslunjcton. I). C. a#"Send tor circular. UENTION THIS PAPER wmsm wsinn* v* imRmv. NEW LAW. smyxio soldiers, widows and relativeseatitied. 'Apply nt oii-.-e. Ulaiilts ant instruction free. SOtil.KS it CO., AU'ys. Washington. It. c. Habit. The only rertaic and easy cure. Dr. J. L. _ Stephens. Lebanon. Ohio. MENTION THIS PAPER »mu» TO umTMia. jST o-c*t Fenjsion Tjtsvxrv 1 S SiOO.OOO names to be added to tl e Pension list. Rejected and tltl.ived Claims allowed. Technic,.'li­ lies wiped nut. Have vour elaini sett'.ed without de- lav. PATRICK O'l'AlJKl-'.I.L. WasUinsti n D C. ERSIONS OPIUM PENSIONS Write u* for new laws. Sent free. Dcterterafa­ ltered. Boccaii or u (m. 'SSyri. experience. A.W. M«C<raick& Sont.Vrnhington. D. C., 6Cincinnati, O. KIPPER-S pmii5s!S"aSS: IB^h'-rJestown, Man. FIENSION "Successfully Prosecutes Claims. Lato Principal Examiner U S. Pension Bureau. 3 yra In last war, 15 adjiulkatiug claims, atty einoa. x̂ saaaaaanwmamismmam̂ Tho Soft Olow of Tho TEA ROSE !• Acquired by Ladies Who Use I -- 1 f g* medtcaVid COMPLEXIOM :TS!C to lh" i.ustne**, itaUy enji>lr>ve>! al»o. A few vacsaciea in tbwna mA cities. 11. F.Jolsnson*Co„ 1009 Main St..liichmond^Tft, Th<<T!s3n<J» 1 tinder tbe : _ Writ • immediately tor BLANK- fif «»IUai &; *'(.<'«Khi-t«tott,0TC» tups ?ROSECBTEB IRltl UN. CiH u.ar slioirin# wfiow* dseut ceg fnl.OtherWiR • iv thinK.A4^. .Il..\-\VsHhin*tonJXj(>- ou write. I T*LLWl6E ci.i N \5lL THIS FAFEK every time PENSIONS! Apply to riij | inSton.D.C.Branch STEfEpS I CQ ieh oflicefr.C 25 YEARS* i EXPERIENCE. Att'jn, H19F St_Wa*. > Is nd,Detroit.Ciuc«§» PENSIONS Tlie great Penate Bill has pasRift Soldier.', their wit --. -- --- - -- ows. mothers, a* lather* ar* entitled u, a month. Fee *10. whi rou «et your money. Bla .k# free. Joseph 1 Hnnter# Att y, Washington, D. C. WM. FITCH & CO.* 102 Corcoran Buildinz. Washington. D.C., • > PENSION ATTORNEYS of ower 25 yetr-s' experience. Successfully prosecte* pensions nod cliima of *11 kind* in shortest time. W NO FEK UNLESS 8VCCKSMFS.X. N EW PENSION LAW. THOUSANDS NOW ENTITLED WHO HAVE NOT I1KKN «:NTITI.»;». Addr«e* fortormw for application an i fit!! information. WM. W. DUDLEY, LATE COMMISS.ON S K OF PKNSIONS, . . Atf-mier at Law, Wiesfeeiixtoa, II. (Mention thix Paper.) \r,. The Disability BBS is a law. Soidiei*. disabled since t2k* war are enti Dependent wido*« PENSIONS and parents now dependent whose ron* died irw* effects ot army s-ervice are included. If yon wwfc your claim speedily and nuccessfully prosecuted* Address i ; f AMES TANNER, Late Commissioner of rensloMb Washington, I». C. *. TMt Oldest Medicine in ike World is DR. ISAAC 'I'HOUKjPtiOH'S T . i ^(•'iparettfp^'jSS'a Mlii° scription, and has been In constant use for nearly % century. There are few diseases to which men Owl are subject more distressing than sore eyes. aa4 none, perhaps, for w hich more remedies have bmnh tried without success. For nl! external inlUmm*th» or the eves it Is an infallible remedy. If the itno> tlono are followed it will never fail. Weparttoolorly Invite the attention of physicians to Its merit*. W •WHS" i. THOMPSON, JK)X& gale by all c!rii(tgl<t; r.N.Y. Established 1T9T. DEPENDENT PENSION Bill is become a law. St3 PER MONTH to m £2 TRY IT. POWDER. SOLO EVERYWHERE. TTJU'ifWMIW w 1 'I To enre Biliousness. Sick Headache. Constipation. Malaria. Liver Complaints, take tbe safe nnd certain remedy, SMITH'S BILE BEANS ITse tho SMAIX SIZE (40 little boans to me boU tie). Tliey are the most convenient; suit all agea. Price of elthoi site. 25 cents per bottle. If at 17, 70; Photo-trramr*. >% IPWIH panel slxe of thla picture 4 roots (coppers or stamps). J. F. SMITH AGO.. Makers of ' 'Bile Beans." St Louts, Mo. honorably discharged HoUliein and SailorK of late war, who ate incapacitated from earning amv pjrt. W idows the same, without regard to c-anse ot de-ith. Iiepeiiient Parents and Minor Children iko interested. Over 'JO years' experience Ket^reucee ia> ail parts ot tlie country. N.i charge if utisuccetiafo]. Write »t once for "Copy of Law." blank*, and fnll ia» structioL g all 1'iiEF. to It. Mi'AI.T.1STKK A COk (SnccoBO's to Wni.Connrd is Co..-. 1*. O. Box 718. 1).€. "if .You Want to Know l.flCI n.ti^hnrr.n-n sjrrteip, „ " . i.,•?!•(! mtl.-lKii/tllh mvetl.diteot i uiote to <•/ ignorance and fadiarrcttoa^ How toji/lfSill " >?/'><rr >o all forma j How tocarffkrjjj Old El/rs, Rupture. FMmotta, tUH*?-- }Iow to ftpry r/i JL'arria^e ct<i fcor* prim and an oiht-JU't/f ttix-tor'a Droll ,?oi;es. profusely tlhw trailed, bond ten certs for new L mgh Cure Book eaOaA MEDICAL SENSE AND NONSENSE^* Hurray Hilt l»qb. Co., m li. 2Sth S t . , KewYo^ I EWIS' W°? LYEL I powBEirs AITS pEsrmufc. Id (PATEN'TXS.) The itronoeft ami purest I made. Will mako the BK!>T Perfumed Hard Soap ia mimites vithout boiUng. It ». tlie best for disinfecting sinkV closets, drains, trashing botttMt barrels, paiuts, etc. PENNA. SALT MANUF'G. CA, Gen. Agta., Pbila,, Pa. IF YOtr WI8H A/->-- GOOO _ 'Jf, • \i j f 51 BBTOLVEIt jmrnhaae one of brated SMITH & DADWAY'S READlr RELIEF. ; ^ar.,||li, ..Jamnrj, THE flREAT CONQUEROR OF PAIN.: SsnWSjSSK'wu For Sprains, Bruises, lUrkiii'lia, J'nin in tli« Che»t or Hides, Heiuhii'lie, I'millmelie, or bii>" otiier external i>Hin. a few H|<pli<'iiti<>iiM rubbeil on l>y hand act like matic, causing tho pain to liixtiiiitly stop. For ConuisslionH. Colds, Broiehltli, Pneu­ monia, Intlaininutlonn, Rlienmatiiun, Nenral- IfiM, I.iiinbajfo, Sciatica, inore thoroiizh anti rep«at«Kl apiilicatlniiK are iiocet«»ry. All Internal l'jilns, IXui rliea. Colic. Sp»-»in«, NauAea.'i'aiiitinK Shells, Nervousness, Sleep- lesKiiosH are relieved inatMiitly, and quickly cured by takinic' Inwardly 21) to OO dropp* in half a tumbler of water. 50c. a bottle. AU Druggists. _ DADWAY'S " PILLS. An oicolfont nnd miM Catlmrilc. Pnroljr Vegetable. The Safest and best Medicine id the world for tlie Cure of all Disorders of the UVER, STOMACH OR BOWELS. Taken according to directions they will restore health and renew vitality. Mm 26 cts. a Box. fcold by all Druggist* the cele- WESKON arms. The flnmt email arm* ever manufactured and the first, choice of all experts. Manufactured in caUbrMasi3BMdM-looi I aitMn-ttovU* aotton. gtfeto jiimwirlwl and . Tarnet models. ConstrucfM entirely of keat <b(1< Uy wreaiclit steel, carefully tesjmcted for work- man*hlp and stock, they are unrivaled for lalti, "" Do not be deceirad b* Uet __ _ , . onlv unralialtln. ibut 'danswrous. Tho 8MITK A. WESSON KevolTera are all stamped iijxjn the bar* rele wiihftrni's name, addraw and duten of patosta. and are guaranteed perfect ic every detail. Ia-. eist upon liavin? the genuine article, and if yoi dealer cannot snpply you an order sent to adoieH below will receive prompt and careful attenttoa. Descriptive cat»iogne a n! pricesf rnished Qpoaap. plication. SMITH & WESSON,.'.,' intention thi» paper. Sprintfirld. Hfttiaa, Ked CHICHESTER'S ENGLISH., PENNYROYAL Ked Cross Diamond Brand* rare. I.itdle% iwk Mmffjrlftt I stand tirsad,ia rt<l nai.li:hni,i»H. rJbbon. Tal;eiio others >r partiealim and "*ltallef ftr in irtter, 1;, rnntL MwlM, . Idehester Ohowlcal Co., Madtaoa Urn., i'Mia^a. I prescribe and tally «•*. dorse Big <» as the only • specific for the certain can* of tills disease. G. U. INU HA II AX, M. fiu Amaieidatn, N. T* We have sold Bit G tor many years, and It fcoft Iven tbe beat of wti»> bCtion. D. E. DYCHB A CO, ChlcagaTui. iirklll.OO. r ni il i i > Til III l inn . Cor*« in 1 TO ft DATS nruMd boi w Ifrd only by tfeft OnkilOt. Trftde No. as-« when wnrriNo towtektisha •n this TO" smw tk* advertiswnSSc ^ J V WORTH A GUINEA A BOX/ For BILIOUS & NERVOUS DISORDERS Such as Wind and Pain in the Stomach, Fullness and Swelling after Meals, Dizziness, and Drowsiness, Cold Chills, Flushings of Heat, less of Appetite, Shortness of Breath, Costiveness, Scurvy, Blotches on the Siin, Disturbed Sleep, Frightful Dreams, and all Nervous and Trembling Sensations, 4c. THE FIRST DOSE WILL CSVE RELIEF IN TWENTY MINUTES. BEECHAU'S PILLS TAK£N AS DIRECTED RESTORE FEMALES TO COMPLETE HEALTH. For Sick Headache, Weak Stomach, Impaired Digestion, Constipation, Disordered Liver, etc., they ACT LIKE MAGIC, Strengthening the muscular System, restoring long-lost Com­ plexion, brinsinjj t>-ick the keen edge of appetite, and arousing with the ROSEBUD OF HEALTH tlio whole physical energy "f the liunnin frame. One ot tlie best £uarant*ea to the Nervous and Debilitated is tJint BEECHftM'S PILLS HAVE THE LARGEST SALE OF ANY PROPRIETARY MEDICINE IN THE WGR1.0. "Illy by TIIOS RKH MAH. St. Hrlena. I.aocothlre. Enciand. Sold h,, II>j. 3. F. ALLEN CO.. 365 and 367 Canal St. New York. 8o^ySSViM.o ®?rVU,tl'd drupenst does not keep them) WILL 34.416 BEKCHAM PILLS fcji \t PKICK,25ets. A BOX. (Mentiok this P*rrr.. Best Cough Medicine. Recommended, by Physicians. Cures wliero all else fails. Pleasant and agreeable to the taste. C hildren take it without objection. By druggists. mnr WATERPROOF COLLAR CUFF I BE UP ' TO • THE MARK TH^T CAN BE RELISO Oil fi Not tQ ST3llt f * > ^ * * & - ."V" zmm KTot to Discolor! BEARS THIS MARK. ; | TRADE < LLULOlD MAR^, • NEEDS NO LAUNOERINO. CAN BE WIPED CLEAN IN A MOMENT. THE ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF COLLAR IN THE MARKET* s?»8 , V