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pi - ^rpenrv; flaiuieaU; k VAN SLYKE, Editor and Publish*. IteHBNRY, ILLINOIS. m*. i: L'J i#ii >*, ^ -|¥MPAT«^-.' i 1^,', • t*Tke5 tORottier, you and T / i it wan a queenly nigbt In JnM| • v ; ri f- •' •Jvow hung the moon In yonder Hkr, ..•, j And (in your thiek low glaucud tlM '• v %onr gentle hand was mine to bold; - £• << My HI-fe<l heart began to pp<>alt; *)-» ? |vri*mnd over, ns ibe tale was told. JM!? i V <, / Lear friend, the moon was oa your cMtfc. logli that would not let me rest, ~*f"Old grief that slept, but over lay 4 languid load u)>on mv breast, « • , Awoko, and w°i>t themselves away. •';' ^Op climbed the moon, slow waned the night, V-^7 J. And still you bent to henr me spook; - - C dmnk the comfort < f the lU'ht '•'IT In those bright toars uvou ynr cheek. _#;~"Jfroin off my life the bnrtlent fall, iStill in their gravo through tranquil years Jhcy rest, those w- »tvy Korrotrs all, faded in the light of tears. I' --Dunt.k<! Iiavdridye, in llar]>ar's liaxar. *: \ • ; &F--- ' • ; -i- •' 14." JU - • J./ •: Ws £55* PtC': fW " ix'. &Tr\ met'- W f"" : £/V:. A BRAVE MAN. BI GENEVA B3ABCH. ^ "*Well mv dear Evalyn, when do you -•xpect this Injun-scalping, buffalo-hunt­ ing, lion-hearted friend of yours ?" "Not quite so sarcastic if you please, Mr. Harry. It is just like you meu though, who would run away from a mouse, to speak slightingly of a brave • hud J" "Has Mr. Van Steinburgh, really scalped lite Indians?" asked pretty Betta Derby in astonishment. "Why, Miss Derby, is it possible you are incredulous ?" said Harry Mills, an­ swering for Evalyn. "As far as I can "Understand, the gentleman who is about •to honor (?) us with his presence out Buffalo-Gills Buffalo Bill, if you'll •excuse the original style of the figure!" "Buffalo Bill for sooth!" and Evalyn JPeyton elevated her pretty nose. "Why Ifatta when Richard was in Africa--he is a treat traveler you know--he killed ever so many lions. I wish papa, was it home, he'd show you some of his letters." "Lyin's, that's a fact" remarked Harry, sotto vooe. "But O! what •a blessiug 'papa' isn't at home," added to his friend Tom Kennedy, ""Who was listening to the conversation with an amused f-mile. "If I. must, listen to this subject much longer, I'll have to order my coffin," Harry con- rtanued, as .he rose from his lounging ^position on the sofa. " "No one asked you to listen, Hr. Mills. Tom, I'd ^advise Vou to keei!> a strict witch . on 3fetta» O come now, Net, you needn't 4ook so innocent. I know you'll fall in low with liim, for he's just the sort of ?nian women go wild about. I 'haven't «een him since I was a child; t' en he 'wasn't much more than a mere boy ; hut from his letters to papa you know I can just imagine what a tall, stalwart, hand- <aome, darling--" "For Heaven's sake, Evl cut y^or ad* jeetives short, or stow 'em aw^fr till "We're gone!" exclaimed Harry, Willi a look of horror; "and Tom, pack your ""grip;' for if the advent of this brave, "Ota. stranger is to set these young la- -dies wild, we had better make our •exodus at once. Women are trying •enough to a fellow's nerves, in their tamest moods, but when it comes to .wild wonen--may Heaven deliver us!" f dear Hal, do not allow yourself fio "be so easily frightened, i feel so « deeply interested ill Mr. Richard Van ' Steinbergh and bis adventures that I - couldn't be tempted to leave," answered ' ITom. *My blood be upon your hands ̂ fren I** -wd Harry, with a tragic gestute of •nock despair: "I wish you'd try and correct that very impolite habit you have, Mr. Miller, of •interrupting me every time I speak," Evelyn ^aid witheriugly. "Asl»was • Baying, Netta," she continued, "I can -imagine what a brave, handsome, atl- " venturous man he is. There is one •thing certain, if you won't fall in love >rith him, I will!" and with a malicious (glance Harry-ward, Evalyn turned on the piano stool and dashed off a lively ik-' V /' 1 Jl ' ' fifext day Richard Van Steinbergh, the distinguished guest., arrived. Mr. ^Peyton was away from home and not -expected to aeturn for a couple of weeks; but Evalyn who, with the as­ sistance of her aunt, managed her fa­ cer's household affairs, received his friend with the hospitality for which «ahe was noted. Netta Derby was qui'e disappointed with Mr. Van Steinbergh's personal appearance, and from the same *sause Evalyn's spirits bank eesferal de­ grees, and Bhe wished that provoking Harry Mills would look somewhere else •than at her. "I feel more interested than ever in ~Brichard the brave. What an elegant -appearance he presents for one that has •lieen roughing it," said Tom, when Mr, • Steinbergh was shown to his room. "Rather ban-bcxitied, eh Tom?" said 'Harry with a grin. Whatever disappointment the young -ladies experienced on fir.-t seeing Mr. Van Steinbt -gli, vanished that evening, -as they sat libteniuiug to him narrate kiss terrible adventures with lions, buf- -ialo's, tigers, bears, and Indians. - They were fairly in raptures, ove<" his ^brave deeds. Poor dears! who could blame them ? "What woman was ever known to go in ^captures over a timid man! Evahn looked exultantly at Harry, who was regarding the brave Richard %£th an awe struck countenance. "You are silenced for once sir!" "thought sh*, and Oh how she longed •"to tell him so! But pray don't deceive yourself Miss -iJSvalyn. Harry was struggling bravely to hold ':luLs tongue; for if he did speak he would «urely ask your hero, "Where did you -%ury all your dead!" • Tom Kennedy was a lover of out-door aport He had been on the plains him­ self, and was deeply interested in Mr. "Van Steinbergh's stories. As he listened to some of them a droll smile would pass over hi* face and he would 'have liked to have asked a few ques­ tions, but not for worlds would he throw "«K}ld water on the young ladies' en- thusiatsm. The week that followed Harry and '^Fom found themselves shamefully ^neglected. The brave Richard was feasted and fitted to his heart's content. A party was given in his honor, and lion-hearted gentleman found him­ self the lion of the evening, and with •the greate t nonchalance he accepted «11 homage paid him. "Look here, Tommy, my boy, I can't Jftand this any longer," said Harry the ginning to 'scare.' Well, what do you propose doing? pack our 'grips' ftnd leave the field clcar to Riohard cceur de lion, as you suggested a while back ?" x "No sir; not if I kpow myself, and I think I do! I've been thinking the matter over, Tom, and with your as­ sistance I think, we can cure the ladies of their love for adventurous men and at the same time hoist this intolerable bore with his own petard" "Have you decided on going to the city to-day?" asked Netta at the break­ fast table next morning. "Yes, we go down 011 the 10 o'olock train. We may not get back to-night; if we do, it will be late," rep'iod Tom. "There was a shocking robbery about a mi'e down the road last night." re­ marked Harry, quietly buttering a mufiiu. "A robbery!" ciied Evalyn's aunt. "Yes, an awful robbery. 1 met * laborer this morning who lives down that way, and he toid me they even went so far as to disguis^tliemselves in animals' skins." " » "In animals' skins!" echoed Netta. Surely, you are not going to stay away all night, Tom, and such characters iu the neighborhood!" "Why, Netta, you are forgetting that Mr, Van Steinborgh witl be here," said Evalyn. You are quite right, Evy. Netta speaks unthinkingly sometimes," naid Tom. "You are verv fortunate, ladies, in having such to brave mau to protect you." Mr. Van Steinbergh inclined his head in acknowledgment of the cumpli- ment, and Tom continued: "But it's not very likely that the robbers will again trouble this neighborhood with their presence, after the rumpus they have created by this time." "This disguising themselves in ani­ mals' skins is regular Indian fashion, is it not?" asked Harry. "Well, yes," drawled Richard, who - didn't seem to relish such a rstory at breakfast; "but I hope the ladies will not allow such foolish stories |Q. trouble them. All that sort 61 thing is well enough in yellow-bound covers, biifein everyday life it won't do." Mr. Van Steinbergh had quite for­ gotten how he had told a lew days be­ fore of his shooting two robbers who were disguised in animals' 6kins. But then he tiild so many little interesting stories, how could lie be expected tore- member all of them. Harry and Tom started for the city. All day in Richard's delightful com­ pany, the girls forgot all about the robbers, but when night came and they were about to retire, Netta, who was very timid, remembered and refused to sleep alone. "Oh, you silly%ir]j Come, then, and^sleep with fiie. If I had thought about the robbers, though, I wouldn't have given Hiram permission to stay awBV ail night," said Evalyn seriously. "You surely didn't let the coachman go away for the :iigat, Evy?" exclaimed Netta in terror. "Yes, but Richard -is ,4 .e! I wouldn't be afraid to, sleep. a wood, surrounded by Indians, if Riliard Van, Steinbergh was near me!" Long after they retired, they lay awake. Netta was restless and couldn't >ieep, and she wolild not allow Evalyn to sloep. "Oh Evy, did you hear that," she exe'aimed at length. * "Hear what?" * "Why, it sounded like a muffled foot­ step," and Netta trembled like an aspen. "O Netta^do try to go to sleep--you were dreaming!" "No I wasn't Listen! There, did you hear that!" Evalyn did hear it and she was, up like a flash, donned her dressing gown and sli[>pfers and when she had the lamp lighted, Netta followed her example, too frightened to remuin in bed. * There was nothing cowardly about Evalyu, but who couid be cowardly and such a brave fellow as Richard in calling distance, so lamp in hand she softly unlocked the door. "For Heaven's hake, Evalyn don't go out, you'll be murdered!" "Keep still Netta, it may be nothing, after all. If there is anything wrong, I am so glad the servants won't hear it up on the top fl^or, for a racket this <ime in the night would frighten Auntie tu death. Just as she finished speaking there was a loud noise, as if something were accidentally overturned in the lower part of the house. Netta Bcreamed with terror and "Robbers di-guised as goats, with lanterns on their heads 1" he gasped, as he fairly threw the lamp in to her hands and rn.-hed on till lie had gained his own room. "Here, what's all this row about?" said Harry Mills, oomitlg out of his room followed by Tom. "O Harry! O Tom! Evy is down there. I suppose the robbers have murdered her!" and Netta tainted. Harry flew down the stairs, and there stood Evalyn stupified with horror, where Richard had left her. "Evy, my love, what aits you V" $nd Harry's arm clasped her. O Harry, a band of robbers, disguised as goats!" was all she could say as she pointed belovt, "Nonsonse, dear, be a brave girl, give me the lamp aud I'll soon see what it is." No, no, Harry! Don't go down, they'll murder you." "I'll look out for that," said he, start­ ing down-stairs. Harry could well afford to be brave; for didn't he and Tom arrange all this to suit themselves. "Well, what a great ado about noth­ ing !" he cried, as he came running up the ste2>s again. "What i«s it?" cried Evalyn, Harry's smiling face giving her courage. "Why von poor frightened puss, it is» one <>f your neighbor's goat's, got into the kitchen some way, aud he's doing his best to get rid of a 'Jack-o'-Jantern* some one has tied to his horns. But. where is our friend Richard? »'I " "Don't mention him to me," she cried, bursting into tears. "Don't cry, dear." said Harry, put­ ting his arm around her and assisting lAr up-stairs. "O. Harry! I thought you and Tom were in town." "So \ve wese, but fve've been home about an hoir. We were very tired and soon fell asleep." Netta recovered from her fainting fit and Aunt Peyton was still bathing her face, with lavender water as Harry and Evalyn entered. "O, Netta, he is the greatest coward that ever lived!" cried Evalyn. "Please don't mention him, Eva," and Netta covered her face with her hands. Early next morning, Richard remem­ bered that there was important business in the city that needed his attention at once. There was a double wedding shortly after; and Harry and Tom behaved magnanimously by never alluding to Richard, the brave, or his queer robber, in the presence of their pretty wives. The Drama of Silence. He had a sample fly screen under his arm as he came along to a small shoe shop on Ludlow street The cobbler looked up from his work, ssized his caller up, and then resumed his pegging with* out a word. "Nice weather, this," suggested the agent as he sat down on the only chait in the shop. No response. "That is, it's nice weather for flies. Beats all how many flies there aro around this year. Did you ever make an estimate of the number of house flies in New York?" #'The cobbler didn't seem to hear. "Anything like the full number would run into the billions. There aro in your shop at the prese-it time no leas than 6,752 flies, large and small. Tak­ ing this as a basis to figure on, and the total in the city wouid be an almost in­ credible number." The cobbler dampened apieee of solo leather and hammered it out, but saict nothing. "But for the ingenuity of man the horse fly would make life almost a pur­ gatory duriug the summer," continued the agent as he nibbled at a piece of the shoemaker's wax. ® "Left, to his own free will the pest would damage this city $10,000,000 worth every year. The inventor of the fly screen was a greater man than Columbus. Have you ever figured on the cost of screens *for the door and two windows?" The cobbler was silent. „ "Probably not, and you'll be aston­ ished at the low price. Just let me measure. Now, I'll figure a little. Ah] here it is--a result to astonish you. I can screen those opeuings with our patent woven wire cloth for--how much do you think ?" The cobbler was burnishing off a heel and never raised his eyes. "It figures $4.80, but as I want to introduce these goods in this neighbor- ! hood I'll make ic even dollars. Come, now, but it's the biggest bargain of the Evalyn, with a frightened glance, closed • century. the door. The cobbler reached fpr his "Now Net, if you scream again like and prepared to pull out the last. that 111 let the house be rcobed. Wh\% you'll have every one in the house up, and frighten the robbers away in the bargain." "And pray do you want to keep the robbers here?" "Wh y, no; but if you'll only stop giv­ ing those nnearthly screams I'll go quietly and wake Richard and he will trap every one of them. Then what will Harry and Tom say?" And with an exultant air, Evalyn passed lightly down the hall and knocked softly at Richard's door. "Mr. Van Steinbergh, Richard! get up; there is some one in the house." The only answer she received was an­ other crash below. "Richard! Diek!" she called ex-i jprovided with our screens which can't citedly, "there are robbers in the j discount its paper. Lei's see.. What house!" j ^ the name, please ?" X ' "Robbers in the house," echoed aj "You like 'some /fiatches put on?" voice from within, and in a few moments asked the cobbled, as he suddenly Richard, the brave, stood before her, I looked up. looking a far more pitiable object than i "Patches! Why, no, I called to take ^ your order for " heavens! what's the matter,! "You want a lift on your heel?" «n 1 I . "Litt? Why, man, my heels are all u, take the l&mp, the robbers are > right, I want to supply these openings# downstairs. ' withvour " The robbers! I--I--I--What shall! "No work for you?" I haven t my revolvers here." "No, I don't want anything done. As never mind the revolvers! Go 11 have several times informed you, I hook "I should't want you to give mj figure away to the baker above or th» tailor below you, both of whom hav*. given me orders at regular prices. As I said, the object is to introduce the goods and secure a foothold." The cobbler pulled and pulled, and the last finally came out with a "chuck!" "Remember that I warrant these screens tor five years, which _is some­ thing no other agent dares do. They balk the fly, baffle the moth, perplex the mosquito, aud make lifo miserable for all kinds of bugs. They have an aristocratic look, are generally acrepted as evidence of thrift, and I'll defy you to find a business house in New" York I do? "O down and see what it is," said Netta, coming out and clinging to Evalyn. Richard reached the head of the stairs, put his foot down one step, and then stood still. "O, do go on!" cried Evalyn, im­ patiently. "Never mind us, we'll go with you; we'd rather go than alone here, wouldn't we Netta?" "I think'I'd rather stay here" said Netta tremblingly. stay 1 IN A COUNTRY EDITOR'S OFFICE Lohii Subscribers Mo Matter Wbtoli Horn of tlie Uiemmn tt« Graap*. "You have had pretty dry weather out your way, haven't you?" said the coun­ try editor, speaking to Uncie Josh, who had just Opine in to renew his'sub.cap­ tion. " Wall, BOW you better reckon we have. Aia't feet1 the weather hotter nor dryer out my way for the last forty- odd year. You know the Perdue spring, I reckon ?" , "Mighty well," the e&tor re; "Dried up." ^ --:i> "You don't toll me!" "Yes, I do--dry as a bone. You know the old trout hole whar the boys uster go in gwimmin' ?" "As well as I know where I live." v "Dried up." " Yon don't tell me!" the editor ex­ claimed. . " Yas, sir, as dry as a bone. Tell yott I never seed the like." "Well, that is bad. How's the corn getting along?" "As well as mout be expeoted under the ciroumstances." : " Wheat turn out well?" 1 "Mighty sorry." "Oats were all right, I suppose?" "Not more than a third of A crop." "That's bad. How is--is--the tur­ nips?" "Turnips! W'y, we ain't sowed them yit, yon know." "Oh, to be sure. I meant--meant-- oh, by the way, now is your son getting along. The tall # one with the black hait ?* ^ " W'y, don't you know he's in the peni­ tentiary for forgin' a note,'way down yander in Alabam ?" "Oh, yes, but I thought he had got out." "W'y, he was only put in thar two months ago." "That's so. All the rest well, I reckon ?" "Yas." "Aunt Nancy is busy with patting up her preserves, I suppose ?" "W'y, she died about three months ago." "To be sure she did. What could I have been thinking about?" "Is your daughter well?" "Now, look here, you've gone fur enough. You know mighty well that she run away with a feller an' ain't been hearn of sense. Give me back them $2 an' scratch my name offen your list. I don't reokon yon air smart enough to run a paper." I When the old fellow had gone, the . editor mused: "One subcibe.1 g me to the dickens. Wonder if that old tool thinks that I can keep up with his family history. I reckon that the safe plan is not to talk , to those old jipes about their families. Confound 'em, I know every family in the county, but i get 'em mixed. Why, come in. Uncle 1 Doyie (an old man had appeared at the door), eome right in and make yourself at home. How are--" be bethought himself of the breaks he had made with Unc'e Josh. " What was you goin' to say ?" Uncle Doyl9 asked. "Oh, nothing particular. How is everything?" "All right," I reckon. 'Lowed, I didj that I did, that I'd come in an' take your paper for another year." "Thanks," said the editor, receiving two dollars and making a mark on a piece of paper. "Having some pretty dry weather, ain't we?" "Mighty d¥y. * Cattle air suffering" They sat for half ah hour or more, talking of the crops, but the editor made no inquiry with regard to'- the old fellow's family. "Don't be in a hnrry, Uncle Doyle." "Ya<, I got to go. By the way, Mr. Editor, my wife an' chillun talks about you putty nigh all the time, an' here I've been with you more'n a hour au' you ain't even asked me how they air. if you don't kere nothin' fur us, I don't reckon we ougliter kere nothin' fur you; so I guess you better give me back them $*2 an' hcratch my name offen your books." When he was gone the editor mused: "Two more dollars gone to the dickens. Keeps on this way and I can't get my paper out of the express office. 1 reckon the safe way is to sorter feel around a little and find out how the family is without running the risk of asking or of not asking."--arkanxaw Traveler. Ohio with Texas, the boy laid ills Ohio block on the Texas map,measured it off, turned it this way, that way, carefully keeping the count with his fingers on the space already covered, and finally announced that Texas, according to his idea, was about five times as large as Ohio, a calculation close enough to the truth to excite wonder at the accuracy rather than criticism at his lack of ex­ actness. Dissected maps of every con­ tinent are provided, and a large globe, made on the principles which underlie the construction of the maps, enables the pupil to gai 1 a fair general idea of the shape and geographical features of our planet. Geography, in most schools is used as an aid to the study of history, and is studied, not as a collection of meaningless • name?, but as a stibjecl which throws indispensable light on the deed* and words of mankind, *. Tillage ConventionaUtjfiM, "I was in a country town, spending a few days with an old friend," lemarked a man to an acquaintance, "when, one evening while I was sitting on the porch with the family, a little girl wearing a faded red jacket, came around from the back yard, and timidly hdlding out a tea cup, said: "'Mamma wants to borrow some vin­ egar?' " 'Sit down a moment,' my friend re­ joined, and then, taking the cup from his wifo who had received it from the girl, thus addressed me : "'You may talk about the proprieties of the city, and imagine that the de­ mands of conventionality are more im­ perious in great communities than in small ones, but let me tell you that there are rules in the country more rigid than any custom ever dreamed of in a city. As an instance, Ave will take this child that has come to borrow vin­ egar. She might have been playing in front of the house, and her mother might have taken the cup out to her, yet she Knew it was her duty to go round and come in at the back gate. But when she returns the vinegar, she will ma iesticalty march in at the frant gate. There is another conventionality to be observed. Look at this cup. You see that in the bottom on the sides there are small cracks that look liko hairs, and you observe that up here at the brim there is a piece broken out. Well, sir, you might search this town over and you would never see any other sort of cup nent after vinegar. Why such a rule should exist, and who es- tab idied it, no one can tell, but a cup sent after vinegar must have hair cracks in the bottom and must have a niece broken out of the brim. The other day a boy came over here after vinegar and my wile taking the cup, lie d it for a moment and then told the boy that she couid not let him have the vinegar. I was astonished, as I had bought a gallon the day before, and I asked her what had become of it, whereupon she re­ plied that we had plenty of vinegar, but she could not let him have it, as the eup had 110 hair cracks in the bottom.' "The wife began to protest, but my friend, declaring that there was no use in entering a denial, thus proceeded: "The village hog has his rules. The leader of soeiety in that line, an old sow, would itch for days before she would rub against any but a newly-painted fence, and the cows will never come to be milked until they succeed in smearing mud on their udders. I would advise you not to come to the country if you wish to avoid conventionalities.'"-- Arkantta- Traveler. called to " The cobbler sat 'down, picked up an old shoe, cut a "rise" for the left side of the heel, and began driving in pegs, and after standing for two or three minutes, the agent walked to the door and turned and said: "Very well. I come to you not only as au agent, but a public benefactor, and you treat me with contumely and contempt. In brief, you make me weary. Suppose we say $3.60 for the | day after the party; "I thought at first i basement halL j? Evalyn was only trying to annoy me, pattering feet reached her listening em v J* 1,t!uak now she'l make a fool of J ftnd the next moment, with an un- ;r ^^»^®etb(ingUn'tdone." earthly yell, Richard, came toying up -Mai ha! -Hal, so you are really be- ] the stairs. Richard leaned ever the banister in a listening attitude. .. «ot a sound from below. If any robbers three openings." had been m the house, they had heard No response. the voices above and fled, and our hero "An even $3. thought ho might venture down in | Deep silence. fl. ,, , . "There is a limit to what even the hv Fvdvn V? w®nt' 'flowed; fly-screen man can bear," baid the ^11 «T tl',,nir^Wn •anotUer'aU was! agent. "That limit has been reached, still. I think the noise came from the , The worm turns. I go." aner: 4/ ,191frfd E/*lyn. And the only response was a peggety- wirfhi ^ la^t stairs he went leaving j te-peg, as the hammer sent the sharp- . , i ,,1' ?e turned in to the eued bits of maple deep down into the ImsBmant. lioii Just then the sound of heel--N. Y. Hun. safety. Down one THEBE is no mansion IN heaves for the man who treats his wife like a mule, and expects her to be an augeL Maps for the Blind. A map for the blind is a curiosity. I Blind people are fond of history, and as ! history cannot be properly learned, or, indeed, learned at all without some knowledge of geography, and to learn the latter without a map is impossible, something of the kind was necessary, and so special maps were invented and manufactured lor the use of the eyeless. They are all of the kind known as the "dissected maps," and are of wood--aro | really carved blocks. All land stands ' in relief, the mountains are in ridged, j the rivers are long depressions. The j State lines are elevated. Each State is j a separate block, and the pupil is j taught to fit the blocks together and thus prepare for himself a map of the whole country. The name of each State is marked, sometimes on the back, sometimes on the front of the block, and the observer will notice, all over the surface of Ihe blocks, small aggregations of what to him are meaning ess dots. These are the names of rivers, towns and cities Cities are designated by pin or tack head", and the size and shape of these show the approximate number of popu­ lation. In one map cities of not less than 10,000 inhabitants were indicated by pin heads flat on top, and those of 10,000 to 20,000 by hemispherical. Flat tack heads showed the localities of cit­ ies having 20,000 to 50,000, rounded tack heads from 50,000 to 100,000. Taclc heads flat and sqnare indicated cities be­ tween 100,000 and 200,000, tack heads round but with a depression on the top showed cities of greater size. "Bounding" the Slates is an easy matter to the pupil. Taking Missouri, for example, the child requested to do the work began by placing the hand flat on the block, to get a general idea of its position; then the forefinger of the right hand found the northwest corner, ran right hand rapidly along the elevated Iowa line, followed the Mississippi down to Kansas, went too far and passed to Helena, where a pause was made, the name read, and the mis­ take discovered, returned, found the line, traced it to the west, along the southern limits of Pemiscot and Dunk­ lin counties, missed it again at the St. Francis River, recovered it, went north, found the line at Butler county, ran it to the corner of McDonald county, thence along the western boundary to the starting point, and then gave the whole result orally withoht a moment's hesitation. By means of these dissected maps a fair idea is also gained by the pupils of .the respective size 6f various countries and States. When asked to compare Penalties of Size. Edward Irving, the eloquent preacher who sixty years ago stirred London so­ ciety, was a tall, stalwart, well-formed man. Sometimes he cheerfully en­ dured the penalties of his physical greatness, and sometimes he lost his temper, when circumstances made it unpleasantly prominent. When he began his work at Glasgow as Dr. Chambers' assistant, his appearance im­ pressed every one. A lady, belonging to Dr. Chambers' church, had given orders one day that visitors were not to be admitted, as she was engacred. Suddenly a maid-servant interrupted her, and in great excite- meut exclaimed: "Mem! there's a wonderful grand gentleman called; I couldna say you were engaged to him. I think he maun be a Highland chief]" "Do you know. Doctor," said another lady to Dr. Chalmers himself, "what people are saying about your new as­ sistant? They say he must be a brigand chief." "Well, well," answered the Doctor, with a smile, "whatever they say, they never think him like anything but a leader of men." Irving bore these compliments to his stalwart frame with cheerfulness; but when his appearance suggested a liorse, then lie protested. It was one summer night he shouted across a narrow strait to the ferryman. As he stood in the twilight with his portmanteau on his shoulder, ho heard an answer, and presently saw the boat gliding over the water. When it reached half-way, it turnod back. Irving became impatient. There was a commotion on the oppo­ site bank, lights flickered on the shore, and there were shouts., Then the oars began to dip. aud the boat slowly ap­ proached.. As the boat glided up to the beach, the impatient Irving demanded to know why the boatman had turned back, thus keeping him waiting so long. "I thought von were a man on a hcrse," replied the boatman, looking up bewildered, "and I went back to fetch the liofse-boat." Irving did not ap­ preciate the joke. Alamma'a Doings. Dai-<y was lost. From the garret to the cellar they searched for her, and then went out to rouse the neighbors and scour the town. At last, near nightfall, the little girl wa« found sound asleep by the side of a haycock in a neighbor's field. Disturbed by the joyful outcry about her, she began to cry, and was only comforted when mamma rushed through the groups, and cuddled her to her heart. Then the happy procession went home, and in half au hour Daisy was asleep in her little bed, Papa, however, had gone in another direction, and came home tired and anx­ ious to hear the good news. Now that there was no longer cause for worry, he grew a little cross at hav­ ing suffered such needless fright, and in the morning, when Daisy appeared at the breakfast table, tried to greet her with judicial severity. "Well, little runaway," he said, in a vain attempt at gruffueas, "how do you find yourself?" Daisy looked up at him with eyes shining with limpid innocence. "I didn't find myself," replied she, simply, "mamma found me." THERE is nobody or nothing in this world that is so often crossed in love as the front door mat. THE OLD FLAG DID IT, and Hl» Men SaTWi |f"» Wo- . man's Knady fTlt. Shiloh and other great battles of the Civil War have furnished material for much heated discussion on the part of the general officers who participated in them, involving questions of general­ ship, obedience of orders, surpruo, audi responsibility for defeat. Many minor engagements, about "which no controversy can arise, and which do not form a part of the written history of the great conflict, are quite as interesting. Perhaps one of the most complete surprises of the war to any considerable body of troops over­ took KilPatrick's cavalry during Sher­ man's march into North Carolina in 1865. Kilpatrick had encamped for the night some miles from Fayetteville, and had selected a large plantation house as his headquarters. The usual pickets had been distributed, and the jnen had thrown themselves upon their rubber blankets with every promise of a night's rest, but before the earliest dawn the Confederate cavalry, under Gen. Wade Hampton, succeeded in deceiving and captnring the pickets on one of the highways leading into the camp, and then charged into the very midBt of the Unionists without the discharge of a single gun of warning. The Bleep of Kiipatrick's men was broken by an in­ discriminate fire upon them as they lay scattered over the ground. Their own artillery was being taken and turned upon them at short range. The pris­ oners held by them were liberated, and they joined in the attack. The Union men were demoralized, panic-stricken, without organization and without a leader. For a time it was every fellow for himself. Pretty soon, however, "Kil," as the boys called this General, appeared on the scene, having narrowly escaped in undress uniform. His presence always inspired his men and the rallying pro­ cess began. It was doubtful, up-hill work for a time, the men being intent only on individual escape. At a critical moment in the encounter the division colors were seen to move about in the disorganized mass of demoralized men, and the question was then settled. Order came out of chaos. A formidable line quickly formed and it was seen to advance cautiously at first, but soon with a sweep and hearty yell that reas­ sured every Union heart. Hampton was forced to withdraw, leaving the captured artillery behind him. The story of how the division colors escaped did not reach the men for some days, when this fact leaked out, that a woman attached to the head­ quarters had torn them from their staff and concealing them under h$r skirts has escaped almost simultaneously with the General, and through her had found their way back, among the bewildered soldiers, and just in time to play a most important part in the then doubtful con­ flict. Months later, when Gens. Sherman and Johnston were negotiating for peace or surrender, Kilpatrick and Hampton met, and Hampton cried: "Hello, 'Kil,' I believe the last time I had the .pleasure of seeing you was at Fayetteville. Shall I apologize for arousing you so early ?" "Oh, no," Kilpatrick answered. "I guess I taught you better than to knock again before entering a gentleman's sleeping apartments." ••1 Talk Too flinch." "Judge" Bacon, of the Rock Island, one of the best known and most popular railroad men in the Westj and who is known here at his home as a man oi few words, was one of a merry party ol six at a famous public resort the other evening. The Judge sipped his wine in silence and listened patiently, and at times with apparent pleasure, to the witticisms of his companions. In the party was a Chicago man, who, after he had partaken of a few glasses of wine, grew more than merry, though not quite boisterous, and monopolized the entire time with the recital of a lot of stale chestnuts. After an hour or more of almost ceaseless babble the Chicago chestnut repository slapped Judge Bacon on the back and vocif­ erated : "Why don't you say something, old fel ? Wake up and tell us a story." Here was the Judge's opportunity, and jbe improved it. "On an occasion of this kind, and under similar circumstances," he said gravely, "I am always reminded of the poll parrot that sat on a perch in front of a bird fancier's. The parrot was a very bright bird, but often kept up his chatter so long as to make it irksome to his hearers. One day, as the parrot sat nodding on his perch, a couple of cur dogs trotted by, going in opposite directions. The dogs looked neither to the right nor to the left, but straight ahead, until suddenly the parrot fyirly hissed: "'Sick'em.' "Then the dogs turned and calmly surveyed each other. They were about to trot off in opposite directions when the parrot again shouted: " 'Sick 'em.' "This was too much for the dogs," continued the Judge, and they turned and grappled. Tbey fought for several minutes, to the great glee of the parrot, which had caused the trouble. Finally the curs seemed to be satisfied, let go of each other's ears and started in opposite directions again, when the parrot yelled: " 'Sick 'em.' "The two dogs caught sight of the parrot at once. They seemed to form a mutual alliance for offense,if not defense, and they pulled that parrot off his perch and trounced him roundly, concluding by rolling him in the muddv gutter. When the dogs let up on him the parrot hopped back onto his perch, sadly the worse for the eucounter. He scratched the mud out of his eyes, smoothed hi* ruffled feathers as best he could, and then slowly ejaculated: " 'Well, I'll be d--d. I guess I talk too much.' "From that day on," concluded the Judge, "the parrot never spoke." Those who had listened to Judge Bacon's parrot story burst out with a roar of laughter. The Chicago man, who had been talking incessantly for hours, "saw the point," and, like the parrot, was silent for the remainder of the evening,--Cincinnati Enquirer. Itcliglon'H InliuencH. "Religiou am a mighty won'ful thing, Eph'm," said old Uncle Rastus. "How's dat?" said Ephraim. "W'y," said Uncle Rastus, with a look of deep thankfulness toward the ceil­ ing, "las' night me'n Elder Johnsicg wuz a playiu'penny ante 'poke;' I seed him makin' a serspicious move wid de kvards' an' some good angel tole me to pull my razzer, an' w'en he seen dat razzer he got religion right away, an' made up his min' dat houestv wuz de bes' policy after all."--New York Her­ ald. - -- jj LIGHT AND BRIQHT. L; , f Called from our EiohaoiMj J A FLFTJTTERING success--the solitaire engagement ring. THE man who catches dozens of blue- fish is hardly a blue fisherman. HE--IU never marry a strong-minded woman. She--No; I don't think you will. AFTEB a cyclone a Western paper thoughtfully printed its next edition in blew ink. "Our. band was in a smoshup last night." "Any bones broken?" "Two trombone*." A GUN is liable to gt off when ft is loaded. When a man is in that condi­ tion ho xhould go home. "I H 1 VE no grudge againstfafc oeople,' , •aid the steamship ageut, "but f always* give them a wide berth if I can. LADY of the House (to tramp)--Poor' man, you must have had many trials. Tramp (proudly)--Yfti, mum, but no convic'ims. TKACHSK (U> C'UBS)--In this stanza what is meant by the line, "Toe chades of night were falling fast?" Bright* Scholar--The people were pulling down the blinds. UNDOUBTEDLY Correct^-" Gorge.* asked Mrs. Ciwuso, "what paper in the United Staie* lias the largest circula­ tion?" "Paper money,*' replied Cuuiat? promptly. * -'.7 FALSTAFE asks, "What's honor?" s* though it were hard to tell; but let one woman sit behind another in cliuroh, and she'll tell what'a on her iu less than two minutes. J INKS--I understand that the noted professor who cures hydrophobia re­ fuses to take Winks' case. B.iuk*-- Poor Winks! Then he must really , have hydrophobia. "WHAT did your mother say when you told her we were engaged, Mamie?" She didn't say anything. She just went over and spanked my little brother till he couid hardly stand." ,% LADY of the house (to her servant)-- You tell me that you are going to quit my service, and you know that I have done almost all your work? Servant?-* Yes; but you don't do it to suit me! WIFE (at church)--That man in the second pew seems to be acting very strangely. Do you think he is crazy? Husband--I shouldn't be at all sur*' prised my dear, I see hii c Jliar buttoa has gone down his back. PONBY (to tailor)--I should think you'd be tired standing up all day cnt^ ting out garments. Tailor--1 "don't mind that. What makes me tired is to be stood up for six mouth4 for the pay­ ment of a suit of clothes. r CHAKLIE--That Miss Sowders is a, sweet girl. Frank--Yes, but she is not* a safe girl in society. Charlie--Why not, I like to know. Frank--Well, I never called upon her when she had less than five pins stuck in her belt. JIMMY--Ma, can I have that candy on your dressing-case? Mother--Yes. Jimmy makes no motion toward taking it. Mother--Why don't you take it it yon want it ? Why, I declare, it's gonet Jimmy--Yep. I ate it before 1 asked you for it. PRACTICAL MOTHER--My daughter, now that you are engaged to be married* you should endeavor to become more familiar with the details of housekeep­ ing. Daughter--That's just what I'm doing, ma. I learned to-day that chew­ ing gum is a splendid thing for mend­ ing old tinware. " ' TEMPERANCE ADVOCATE/-I see you have high license in youjr town. How does it operate ? Qoh Rumnose-- Miserably. There are so few saloons that you can't enter one without haying to treat a dozen friends; and, there be­ ing no competition, the whisky is vile. High license is a failure. Give me prohibition, and plenty of drug-stores*-- ' J:' Running- tile Old Alan. Master Harold, aged 10 (to his sire) --Pa, can't I go swimming this after­ noon ? Mr. St. John--No, you can't," "Why?" "Cause you can't" "Why?" "I don't want you to--that's why." "Jim Brown and Ted Jenkins are going." "I don't care if they are; von ere not." "Why?" "Because you're not" "Boo-hoo-hoo! I can never do noth­ ing. Boo-hoo!" "Shut up that noise 1" "Can I go, then?" "No; yoji can't." . "Boo-hoo-hoo! H00-00-00; I--boo-- don't--boo--see why 1" "You'll know wby if I trounce you, young man!" "Can I go just a little while?" "Yes, and get over your head and get drowned." "I won't, either--boo hoo!" "Hush! Will you be very careful?" Yes--yes." "And not go where the water is deep?" "And you'll come home in an hour?" "Yes--yes." "Well, put out, then, and mind if you ain't back in an hour I'll trounce yea good." "Yes, sir." And off he goes to stay five hours and a half, but the trouncing is never more heard of.--Drake's Magazine. Lighthouse Without Lamp or Keeper., On Arnish Rock, Stornaway Bay, in Hebrides, Scotland, a conical beaoon is erected, and on its summit a lantern is fixed, from which, night -after night, shines a light which is seen by the fish­ ermen far and wide. Yet there is no burning lamp in the lantern, and no at­ tendant ever goes to it, for the simple reason that there is no lamp to attend to, no wick to trim, and no oil-well to replenish. The way in which this peculiar light­ house is illuminated is this: On the Island of Lewis, five hundred feet or so away, is a lighthouse, and from a win­ dow in the tower a stream of light is projected on a mirror in the lantern on the summit of Arnish Rock. These rays are reflected on to an arrangement of prisms, and by their action are con­ verged to a focus outside the lantern, and from thence these rays diverge i& the necessary direction. The consequence of this is, that to all intents and purposes a lighthouse exists which has neither a lamp nor a light­ house keeper, and yet which gives as serviceable a light--taking into account^ of course, the requirements of the locality--as if an elaborate and costly lighthouse, with lamp service-room, bedroom, living-room, store-room, «>* water-tank were erected on the summit of the rock. LIFE is to be measured by actions, not by time. A man may die old at thirty* and young at eighty--nay, the one liv«p after death, and the other parished be­ fore he died. . ^