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•:>/ •HV 7^ THE SMALL BOYS IJEHIM). BT 8. «. KM. Wit* a claah, and b ut, and boom, ana ba&t, 'lb® Mg procesnlon marches. Through tho lane of applause, tbnmgh the shorn ing street. And under the towering srches; The* irntreh as tfrand a« a conquering host. With many a plume and banner. „ 4i As Sherman's army marched to tho coast, And into the streets of Savannah. . ' ' And the Him that glints from their helmets bright Will dazzle' and gleam, and blind. But there follows them, like a string to a kite, The small boys who tag on behind. The small boye who tap on behind, the small bovs *no tag on behind. The beat of the show. 1 woull have you all know, la the small boys «bo tag on behind 1 A rabble that wobbles and tumbles about >. Like bummers who bring np the rear, Tbey jostle and giggle and quarr -1 and elxrat And hoot and jaugle and juer; But I v.ati'h for the glad ragamnffin pnrn.de, FOP the brave little barefooted bumme: And 1 leave the crowd for the Hoys' Br And 1 leave the fifers and drummers. March on, my lads, for the route in long, 0,, v'Vs And tho way is bard to find, There's a long march ahead for the brave end strong, ^ C Aad small boys who tag on behind. 1 lie PIMMII boys who tag on behind, the small hoys who tag on behind, i:i T«o»g. long must you tread, tn rough the days ahead, You small boys who tag on behind. --Yankee Blade. A MAN OF SETTLED HABITS. BT OI'IE r. READ. The water was rising rapidly in the Lower Mississippi. Heavy rains Lad been falling above, and the strain on the levees had become so great that hundreds of planters were fleeing io the highlands. Enormous trees swept down the surging flood, and an oc­ casional cabin with some oiie on the roof could be seen bobbing its way to­ ward the gnlf. Late in the afternoon a man riding a horse drew up in front of a cabin near the river, and seeing an old fellow sit­ ting on a soap-box lazily greasing a pair of shoes thus addressed him: "Why, what can you be thinking about, sitting here so unconcerned, when the water is rising so fast? The levee has broken up at Cages Bend, and it won't be long until the swamp back yonder will be entirely filled up. What are you thinking about?" "Wall," he responded, as he dabbed a liandfal of tallow on the shoe, "I was thainkin' about several .things. Was thainkin' that I would go to meetin' ter- morrer to hear that new feller tha£ they 'low kin fling down any man on the cir­ cuit, au' then I thought that I would go over and whale old Bodoey Bales. "Bod an' me has been mighty good frien's, but tuther day 1 tuck up the idee that he shot my dog an' he's got to be wliupped. I'm a little sorter curis thater way. When I take up a notion that a man has shot my dog it don't make 110 difference whuther he has done it cr Rot; I jest kaint ke'p from whalin' him. My daddy was thater way, an' I jest took atter him. Whicher way air you travelin' ?" "I am going to get out of this infernal bottom. I came down here day before yesterday and if I get out you may rest assured that 111 never come back •gain." "Much obleeged to you, fur I alius wanter rest. Makes no diffancc whuther I rest asliored or not. What Im' after is the rest." "How far is the nearest high ground from here?" "Oh, you kin find high ground all along the river here. Land right down thar is putty high. Couldn't buy it, I don't reckon fur less that fifty dollars an acre. Mighty fine land. Cotton stalks grow an high as a lioss." "I mean a hill; for Heaven knows I don't care what the land is wokh." "Wall, lemme see." He put down the shoes and wiped his hands on the bosom of hU shirt "That's a hill 'way out yander summers, but I don't know how you kin git thar from here, but if you was way over at the Abner place, w'y you'd be right thar." "How can I get to the Abnter place?" "Wall, I hain't been over thar in some time, an' I did hear that old Abner had moved awav." "What difference does that make? The place is still there." "I don't know about that. Places don't alius stay thar in this conntry." Til find my way out all right, for I have a good horse; but what worries me is to see you remain here so uncon­ cerned. I am a member of the Amer- . ioan Humane Society, and it is my duty to urge you to save yourself." "Don't fret about me, podner. The Bible tells not to worry an' that's one part of the good book that I toiler out." "I am really interested in a man so peculiar. How long have you lived here?" "Mighty night all my life." "Why don't you move away?" "Feered I mout not have good health." "You surely have chills, for you are as yellow as a pumpkin now." "Oh, yes 3 have lots of chills. Have one mighty nigh every day. Wile an' Tib, an' Bob air in thar now a-shakin' with chiils." "You surely could not live in a place more unhealthful." "Yes, think 1 could. None of us ain't dead, but lots of folks that lived upon the high ground i3. Some folks mout not like chills, but then some folks don't like pie. I tell you that on a right lii't day when the heat dances down the road like somebody shakin' a mosquito bar, a chill is a mighty tine thing. You see a man gits tired of one sort of weather, sich as they have in the hills, but down here lie kin have two or three seasons in one day. In the mornin' he's jest a leetle warm; 'bout dinner time his chill comes on and then he is oool; an' when the fever sets in, w'y he's jest about as hot as a white man wants to be." "You beat anybody I ever saw." "No, I don't beat nobody. Did beat a ferryman onct by wadin' the river, but that was a long time ago, an' I have jiiied the church since then." ;-Cl, "Have you ever been run out by the high water?" "Many a time." "Then why don't you go now, for you mast know your danger?" "Wall, I am a man of fixed habits an' no matter how fast the water is rising I never make a break for the hills till the water comes up art' wets my pants. Then X know it is time to move, an' I holler for the folks an' we strike out W'y it is so much of a habit with me not to take action in the matter till my pants air wet that one day last August, when we hadn't had a drap of raip for six weeks, a feller that wanted me out of the neighborhood come along through the trnck patch whar I was grabblin' some potatoes, and jest as I stooped over he spanked me with a wet board and I called the folks an' struck right ^ont" "Look bete, now, that's too much to believe." "All right, but I reckon a man ought j know what his habits air. If you have confidence enough in me to (ell me of your habits, w'y I wouldn't dis­ pute yon, for I wouldn't know, an' a man ought to be mighty keerfui about disputin' something lie"don't know any­ thing about" "Well, I'll have to leave yon. bat I almost feol like 1 am committing a crime in doing so." "Oh, don't take on about me. cap'n. I'll set round here a greasin' of my shoes an' ploughgear, an' the folks will be in the house a enjoyin' themselves with thar chills an' atter while the water will come np an'wet my britches ad' then we'll all strike out for the hills. As the water is risin' putty peart, mebbe I'll overtake you, for I don't reckou you kin ride through the woods' so mighty fast" "Good-by, for I see I cannot save you." "You could do it. but I don't want to put you to any trouble " "It would be no trouble whatever to me. Follow my advice is all that I can ask of you and advising is aU I can do for you." "But you forgit my habits." "Nonsense; what are yon talhrjg about?" "You know I told yon what the feller t"one while I was grabblin' potatoes. Jest get a wet board and spank me an' I will hull out" "I Would be -willing to take'an oath that you are the biggest fool I ever saw." "Not a fool, but jeft a man of habits, It's little enough to ask of you, I'm shore." "All right," said the stranger, as he dismounted, " where is your board ?" "Yonder is one, good an' wet." The stranger took up the Board' and spanked the man of habits--spanked' him so hard that it made him grin. "All right," said the convert, as he rubbed himself, "we'll mosey. Mur! oh, mur!" he called, turning toward the house, "come on now all ban's, for it is time to hustle for the hills." A moment later the family, evidently waiting to hear the tidings of deliver­ ance, came pouring out of the house.-- Atlanta Constitution. Doctors' Names. Something might be said in favor of the primitive practice of naming men after they were grown up, instead of while they were babies. Under the present system it often happens that a man's name is curiously out of keeping with his character or pursuits. The literary editor of the Doctor has lately been examining a new directory of physicians, and seems to. have been greatly impressed by the singularity and iuappropriateness of some of the names contained in it. He thinks, for example, that Dr. Coffin might sound pleasantly sug­ gestive to a nervous patient, though less so, perhaps, than another name which follows it--Dr. Death. A timid person might object to Dr. Sexton also, and if one wore very sick indeed it would certainly seem ominous if Dr. Death, Dr. Coffin, and Dr. Sexton were to hold a consultation at his bedside. Other names almost as bad as the foregoing are Dr. Butcher, and Dr. Slaughter, though they occur several times each in the directory. , There are two Dr. Cranks--fewer than might have been expected--and one Dr. Craze, who is perhaps in charge of an insane asylum. Some of the names may be called in­ appropriately appropriate, such as Aiken, Carver. Cutter, Hash, Diet. Hurt, Maugle, Peliett, Fillmore,Tomb, and Toothaker. Dr. Ague, and Dr. Shivers might very well be partners, and if a third man were wanted they could hardly do better than to call in Dr. Sweat. Other names are anatomical or phys­ iological. Dr. Bones, Dr. Nuckolls, Dr. Shinn, and Dr. Bowell, for exam­ ple, not to mention Lungs, Livers, and Lights. Dr. Salts is not a name to quarrel with, and the same may be said of Dr. Seltzer, and Dr. Seidlitz. Dr. Tar- water, Dr. Roots, and Dr. Bitters have an innocent sound, but what shall be said of Dr. Boozer, Dr. Dullard, Dr. Kilpatrick, Dr. Duffer.Dr. Hornblower, Dr. Lepper, and Dr, Swindell? This list contains one Dr. Honesty, but it is doubtful whether he deserves that honorable title better then do sev­ eral of his professional brethren who frankly call themselves Dr. Nostrum. Dr. Able, Dr. Good, and Dr. Noble are perhaps not Pharisees, and Dr. Newbill, Dr. McAffee, and Dr. Dollar may not be more mercenary than Dr. Smith, or Dr. Brown.--Ex. Caring Boosters from Crowing:. Next to a dog that amuses himself by barking all night, a rooster that per­ sists in exercising his voice is nature's own nuisance, especially when the rooster lives in town. A banker who used to live next door to a Dr. White, just beyond the city line, owned two little bantam roosters thathe had taught to crow for a grain of corn. He would take a double handful of corn out into his back porch, lift his hand and the chickens would crow. Then he gave a grain to each of them. This was con­ tinued until ull the corn was exhausted and the roosters were hoarse. This sort of thing annoyed Dr. White. One day a medical student dropped into his office about the time the serenade be- gan. "I'd give $5 to shut off that noise," said the doctor. "You can do it for less than that," said the student. Why dont you entice them into your back yard some time when old Rufe is down town, catch them and cut their vocal chords?" "By Jove! That's the thing. Come around to-morrow at 11 o'clock and as­ sist me in the operation." The next day at the appointed hour the student was at the office on time; HO were the roosters. Within two minutes one vocal chord of each chicken was cut, and then the birds were tossed over the fence to their home. At noon the owner came out on his porch for his daily amuse­ ment. White and the student watched him through a crack in the fence. He lifted his hand and the little sqnailers reared hack and went through the mo­ tions, but did not utter a sound. The banker lifted his hand again with the same result. He went out into the yard and walked around his pets, but he couldn't see anything wrong. Then he called his wife, and the two made a critical examination. He made them go through their pantomime for an hour and got disgusted. He tried it every day for a week and then killed the roosters and ate them. When he found out six months afterwards what White had done, he bought two large donkey-voiced parrots, trained them to say: * Dr. White," and "White is an ass," and hung their cages in the pack porch. Then Dr. White moved. TEACHES COWS TO BE DEVQUT. Ildtt Slormn and Mia Temp # la the For­ est Fastness . , In the heart of the forest fastness that separates the land <>f clams from the land of woodeu nutmegs is a circu­ lar clearing,' upon **k^h stands the New Jerusalem «">i the liev. William Slocum, Eider 3!ucnin is a hermit minister, and Ins holy acre is the Gret­ na Green of the bolder country. His reputation extends throughout Eastern Connecticut and We-tern Khode Island. He Is 80 yours old, and a tottering skeleton. When a Sun man haw him he wore a dirty old shirt, a pair of jean trousers that once were blue, but which age had metamorphosed into a dirty gray, a pair of rilsty boots and an old white felt hat, with a waving white tur­ key feather. His copper-colored face was covered with a shaggy growth of hair. He stood gazing at the approaching reporter through bright eyes hidden in deep cells. When the low stone wall surrounding the barn was reached the Elder requested the reporter to kneel. Down upon the scd he went beside the brindle cow. This cow tho preacher of the sylvan solitude had taught from « calf to be devout. He waved his wand, which consisted of a bayonet attached to a broomstick, answering the dual purpose of Moses' rod and a pitchfork, and the cow imme­ diately obeyed the sacred signal. The bell tinkled and old Briudle shifted her cud, dipped her horns and blinked her meek eyes, whisked her tail, and first on one knee and then on tho other knelt for prayer. Atter he had passed through this re­ ligious form he greeted his visitor and examined his credentials to see if he really were an angel and worthy of en­ tering the temple. They consisted of 50 cents, and the Eider pronounced him irresistible. He led the way then to the dwelling. This is a low, rectangular structure with glass sides. It is surrounded by a garden, and all is enclosed by a high circular picket fence. This, like every­ thing about the place, is symbolical of a Scriptural truth. It illustrates, the Elder says, the never-ending idea of eternity. There is a gate for every point of the compass. In the rear of the house, beside the big gate, is a little one. This illustrates the truth that "straight is the gate and narrow is the way which leadeth into life, and few there be that find it." The gates all swing on pivots. This is so that all Europe, Asia, Africa and America, should they make a pilgrim­ age to the Elder's Jerusalem, could pass in at the right, walk around the gardeu and pass out at the left. He lives entirely alone. Upon approaching one of the gates leading to the sacred inclosure the El­ der turned and said: "Put off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place wherein thou standest is holy ground." Off went the shoes. The rear of the porch of the temple is a dilapidated blacksmith shop, with forge and every conceivable variety of old iron. Pass­ ing into the temple, the outer chamber is reached. Then oome the inner cham­ ber and the oracle. There is an old stove, almost molded in grease and dirt, in the inner cham­ ber. Upon it the Elder cooks his meat and gets his meals. His chairs he makes himself. He goes out in the woods and cuts a limb with tripod branches. He saws a board, bores a hole in it and sticks it on. He washes once in a while, too. His washtub is a barrel aud his washboard a cudgel. In­ stead of scrubbing his clothes he clubs them. The many windows and the five lan­ terns, which the Elder keeps filled and trimmed, illustrate that the Gospel is light, and that the wise man keeps his lamp ready against a sudden call. His window curtains are cobwebs, which bend under the weight of dust and flies. He is very proud of the fact that he was the first person to solve the myste­ ry of what to do with flies, by allowing spiders to spin their webs and catch them, and says that li6 isn't troubled with the frisky little things at all. The oracle is decorated with giddy- colored Biblical pictures. The Elder sleeps here in the winter time, but dur­ ing the summer months he sleeps with his cow. There is also a well-worn Bible lying open upon a shelf. Out of it the Elder reads before each meal. This is the only literature that he has ever read. The Elder hasn't always been an ec­ centric hermit. He was ordained a Baptist minister at the age of 22, and has filled, the pulpits of several country churches. He says-bis creed is summed up in the first six verses of the sixth chapter of Hebrews. The longer he preached the harder his creed got, until he finally, some twenty years ago, devoted himself to building temples, where he could commune with the Omnipotent. He has inhabited his present one a dozen years. Although the Elder no longer has a church, lie still preaches. A tree stump is his pulpit, and the several dozen in­ habitants of the vicinity make up the congregation. The Elder begins his sermons by telling his hearers where the text can lie found. But he never reads it. He trusts that they will look it up themselves. Occasionally, too, when a country preacher wants to take a day off real badly, he sends for Elder Slocum to fill his pulpit. These are state occasions, and the Elder rigs himself up accord­ ingly. He smears his boots with tal­ low, clothes himself in a disreputable suit of black, claps a rusty stovepipe hat of a block of an ancient date upon his head and issues forth. He ia said to be a gorgeous sight. 5 The. Elder calls himself Robinson Crusoe, and says that the Lord is his man Friday. He has spells of praying for the sting of death, and at others thinks seriously of joining the colony on the Exeter poor farm as a spiritual adviser. --Hew York Sun. curious little nhabby brougham, with one horse, and it used to be a puzzle, like the fly in the amber, how ever such aa immense man contrived to get in and out of so diminutive a vehicle. For afl this he was a very rich man--much richer, it used to be thought, than his distinguished brother, the ex-Prime Minister. Robertson Gladstone was a powerful and slashing orator and doted on his brother. Starch. The mealy snb«ta*)ce known by the name of starch forms the busis of some very simple and easily j erformed chem­ ical experiments. Rasp some potatoes on a grater, writes a contributor to the YoutIC* Companion; knead the pulp thus obtained with woter, and squeeze it in a linen cloth; the fibrous particles of the cells remain behind, but the juice, together with a large proportion of the starch, runs through. Let the liquid remain quiet for some hotirs;it becomes clear because the heavier starch settles at the bottom. POUT off the liquid, wash the starch several times with fresh water, allowing it to settle each time, and then dry in a, moderately warm place, and starch will be the result Heat in a flask the liquid poured from the starch, and after boiling a few mo­ ments it deposits a flaky substance, which is vegetable albumen. If starch is placed in a ladle and gently heated with constant agitation till dried up, hard, horny granules are obtained, which swell when boiling water is poured on them. These gran­ ules are called sago. Heat in a vessel half a drachm of starch with an ouuee and a half of, water, stirring till it boils, and you have starch us it is used for stiffening iinen. If starch paste is allowed to stand for a length of time in a warm place, it gradually is converted into lactic acid-- the same acid that gives to buttermilk its well-known sour taste. If starch is heated over a gentle flame and constantly stirred to prevent burn­ ing, it acquires after a while a yellow and finally a brownish-yellow color, and then possesses the new property of dis­ solving in either cold or hot water into a mucilaginous liqnid. This is called dextrine, and is used as a gum for many useful purposes. Starch gum of a white color may also be made by mixing half an ounce of starch with one drachm of water and four drops of nitric acid. Let the mixture dry in the air, and evaporate the nitric acid at a gentle heat Bring to brisk boiling two ounces and a half of water, to whioh twenty drops of sulphuric acid have been added, and then add one ouncc of starch mixed with a little water, form­ ing a paste, but only in small quanti­ ties at once, that the boiling may not be interrupted. When all the starch is stirred in, let the mixture boil for some minutes. Then add chalk to neutralize the acid, filter the liquid through porous paper, and evaporate to the con­ sistency of a thick syrup. The starch syrup thus made, as well as the white solid starch sugar, are both articles of commerce. It has not yet been explained how this effect is produced, but as starch, starch gum and starch sugar have each the same constitution, the difference is undoubtedly caused by a different grouping into molecules of the atoms of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen of which they are composed, which is ef­ fected by the sulphuric acid. The Professor Ahead. A teacher's standing frequently de­ pends more on his ability to deal with human nature than with the intricate problems of the text books and this ap­ plies to colleges as well as primary schools. A well-known Professor of one of our Maine colleges has always been dreaded more by the incoming freshman class than any other man on the faculty. This feeling wears away somewhat during the last part of the course, but there is always an awe-in­ spired atmosphere as thick as a Down- East fog bank, in this man's class room, be it filled with quaking freshmen, or self-satisfied seniors. Jokes have, how­ ever, frequently been tried on him, since college boys are very brave when they think their tracks are covered, but the jokes have usually been found to have a double back-action kick, like an old flint-loek musket With the expectation of getting an "adjourn" from his recitation the next day, some scamp one night broke into this Professor's classroom and painted every seat in the room with fresh paint. When the class assembled the next day, the Professor said very blaudly: "You can sit down, gentlemen, or stand up, just as you please. Mr. A----; will you please demonstrate----," etc. The class stood for the full hour, its members finding relief by standing first on one foot and the» on another. On another occasion when the mer­ cury bad dropped below zero another attempt was made to get an "adjourn." The stove and every window was re' moved from the recitation room, but the Professor was lound there at the usual hour seated comfortably in his chair with overcoat, winter cap and woolen gloves on, and without discomfort to himself, conducted a recitation of an hour's length, with heaven's breezes wandering uninteruptealy through the room.--Leiciston Journal. MEAN PEOPLE. mm. Gladstone's Brother. The late Robertson Gladestone, brother of the grand old man, says the Pall Mall Gazette, was perhaps the most noted man in Liverpool in his day, for lie was a most interesting character. He made a strict practice to visit the fish market every day of his life and bargain with the fishwives. There are hundreds of stories of his fish-market experiences; and many brilliant sallies of wit used to pass between him and the fishwives of the market. He was a terrible haggler about price, but he did it for fun, and it is well known that in the end he used to pay dear for his joke. Imagine an enormus man, over six feet, with broad shoulders and pro­ minent features, surmounted by a huge, old-fashioned, half-low crowned farmer's hat. Add to the picture shabby, un­ fashionable clothes, and you haye the late Robertson Gladstone. Every day he crawled down to Liverpool in a Machinery's Wonder-Wor*. It is very curious to an outsider to watch the operations of a braiding ma­ chine, says the Pittsburgh Dispatch. In one factory there are some ten differ­ ent kinds of machines kept in opera­ tion. The most curious of all is a ma­ chine -whose special domain is the so- called "applique" work. It performs three tasks at one and the same time. When properly adjusted a tiny knifa cuts out, according to the pretty de­ sign intended, the figures from the up­ per layer of cloth, while simultaneously the machine sews these figures on to the layer of cloth underneath--the upper layer being generally of medium thick­ ness, while the lower one is cloth of the thickest, warmest and most expensive kind, such as is suitable for a lady's cloak. The effect thus obtained--artis­ tic arabesques, beautifully curving lines, forming an intricate yet pleasing pattern, lying on the cloth underneath --is very pretty indeed. The beading machine, by means of which those most elegant ornaments on a woman's dress, those glistening arabesques of beading, are put on, is another triumph of mechanical genius. The same may be said of the leather- edge machine, which does the so-called "sunbeam" and "rainbow" work, em­ broidering the shades, which are grad­ ually toned down; or the cornelly ma­ chine, which does the cording, and still more so of the soutache machine, which does the simplest and yet one of the most effective styles of embroid­ ery. *. THERE are many miu-tak<4 in a printing office . that employ female type-setters. DMtoult to Tell Which la the Meanest. Writes Amber: I had a dream the other night which was like, and yet un­ like, the vision of fair women of which a poet once wrote. I dreamed that I sat within a court-room. Before me passed the meanest men and women God ever permitted to live, and upon them 1 was to pass tho verdict as to which should carry off the palm. The scandal-monger came first, he or she who sits like a fly-catcher on a trea, snapping up morsels of news. He or she who is swelled full of conject­ ure whenever anybody commits an in- noeeht indiscretion, as an owl blinks and ruffles up its leathers when a bobolink sings. He or she who goes about the world like a lean cat after a mouse. He or she who is always looking for clouds in a bright June sky, and sings in roses and flies in honey. He or she whose heart is made of brass, and whose soul is sp small that it will take eleven cycles of Sterniiy to develop it to the dimensions of a hayseed. I was about to hand this specimen the banner without looking further, when a beinjt glided by me with a.noiseless tread. She wore felt>0shoes and a mask. She spoke with the voice of a canary, yet had the talons of a vul­ ture. She wore a stomacher madfc from the fleece of a lamb, and between her bright-red lips were the tusks of a wolf. I recognized her as the hypocrite, the false friend; she who hands over your liv­ ing bones for your enemies to pick, while you believe she is your champion and your defender. Following her came the man who keeps his horse standing all day with his nose in a nosebag. There was a groan like the sighing of wind in the polars as he went by. Then came the merciless man who oppresses and torments the helpless and grinds the faces of the poor; and following him I beheld another monster--the worst, of all in male attire. lie came sneaking around a corner, with a smile on his lips and a devil in nis eye, seeking to entrap innocent girlhood • and unsuspecting womanhood. Then came tho woman who gives her children to the care of servants while she goes down-town with a dog in her arms. Tltcn came a lean- faced weasel-eyed creature, with the general expression of a sneak-thief. I discovered her to be a representative of that type of woman who coaxes her neighbor's hired girl away with promises of better wages. Then caine tho envi­ ous person whoso evil passions are kindled like the tires of sheol at the prosperity of others, and who, becausc his own cup of life holds vinegar, is de­ termined no other shall contain wine. I suddenly awoke without having bestowed the palm on any. The Efteets or Mental Kxhauation. Many diseases, especially those of the nar. •oris system, are the products of daily renewal mental exhaustion. Business avocations often Involve au amount of mental wear and tear very prejudicial to physical health, and the profes­ sions, if arduously pursued, are no less destruc­ tive to brain and nerve tissue. It is one of the most important attributes of Hostetter's Stom­ ach Bitters that it compensates for this undae loss o( tissue, and that !t imparts new energy to the brain and nerves. The rapidity with which It renews weakened mental energy and physical vitality is remarkable, and shown that its lu- Yigorr.ting properties are of the highest order. Besides increasing vital stamina, and counter­ acting the effects of mental exhaustion, this potential medicine cures and prevents fever and ague, rheumatism, chronic dyspepsia and con­ stipation, kidney and uterine weakness and other complaints. Physicians also command it as a medicated stimulant aud remedy. An Unostentatious Man. One of the most unostentatious men of whom there is any record, written or un­ written, died lately. Ho was on his deathbed, surrounded by sorrowing friends and relatives. In a voice weak­ ened by disease, yet fraught with deep earnestness, he said: "I know you are all quite fond of me and sorry to see me go, which is very satisfactory at this time. When I am stowed away for good and all, you will probabiv place a tombstone or monument to mark the spot where 1 am buried. Don't let it be gaudy or expensive: just something plain. Above all don't allow anything fulsome chiseled on the stone. In short, let there be no flightly litera­ ture. Just put on it my name "and the letters S. Y. L.--'Sco you later.' " Having received satisfactory promises that his wishes should be obeyed to the letter--oven the three letters--this unos­ tentatious man turned his face to the waH and modestly died. A Progressive Company. In addition to tho splendid passenger equipment now furnished by the Chicago and Eastern Illinois Railroad, the manage­ ment have arranged t> run Vestibuled Parlor Carson the through day trains, com­ mencing with Sept. 1. Tho«o cars are the product of the Pullman Company shops, and are considered by many 'railroad men to surpass In elegance and completeness any parlor cars which have as yet been placed on the rails. Before the winter travel commences, all passenger trains will bo provided with aafety steam-heating apparatus, which is connected with the engines and receives its steam from this source, thereby obtaining an even temperature In the carat all times. These improvements arc made for the con­ venience of the traveling public and reflect credit upon the liberal policy adopted by the management of the Chicago and Eastern Illinois Railroad. LIOHTXIXO struck the Cathedral of tho Holy Cross in Boston recently, detaching three larne granite blocks, one of which weighed 500 pounds, and which fell 125 feet to tho sidewalk below. Fortunately no one was injured. - No SOAP has ever been imitatod as much as Dobbius' Electric Sotip. The market is full of imitations. Be careful that you are not deceived. "J. B. Dobbins. Philadelphia and New York." is stamped on every bar. IF the boys do not kiss the misus, then the girls will miss the kisses.--B fug ham- ton Leader. ELEVEN children out of twelve need Dr. Bull's Worm Destroyers occasionally. These dainty little candies are alwavs safo and sure. THERE is no class of people who die faster than those who live fast. BKECHAU'S PILLS aet like magic on a Weak Stomach. A CHECK drawn upon the bank of Hope is seldom honored. Merit Wins And This is The Reason for The Unequaled Popularity of Hood's Sarsaparilla Wi. FITCH & CCtr 102 Corcoran TJ jilding. Washington, D.O, PENSION ATTORNEYS of over SSyoart.' <. ~ycnence. Succes.-^ fully prosecute pensions ai'd r-lain - of all kindt ia shortest possible fime. *S"NO r.l:'E UNLESS SUCCESSFUL. BEECKAWS PILLS <T»E 6REAT EN8LI8H REMEDY.) Care BILIOUS and Nervous IIXS#j 25cts. a Box. OF* ALL The Corpse Cars. "We used to call him Sorrowful Stug- gins because he took on so when his first wife died. He built a vault on his own place--it was nigh the skirts of North Brookfield he lived--and her body put in it so that the coffin could easily be seen. But Stuggins got tired of loneliness after a couple of years of widowcring and married a woman from a neighboring farm. The second wife had a temper of her own. and it wasn't long before she gave Stuggins a taste of it. So what did that man do but go to an undertaker and get a glas< top put In his first wife's cof­ fin. Then when number two got can­ tankerous he'd load her to the vault and push her down over the opening, saying: - 'There, you cross-grained female. Take a look at the remains of the only woman I ever loved.' "It didn't take many doses of that sort o' medicine to take pretty much all the cantankcr out of number two. and wo used to call it tho 'corpse cure."'--Pio­ neer-Press. m i Its Excellent Qnalitles Commend to public approval the California liquid fruit remedy. Syrup of Figs. It is pleasing to the eye and to the taste, and by Rently acting on the kidneys, liver and bowels. It cleanses the system effectually.- thereby promoting the health and comfort of all who use it. Mo Time Yet. The country negroes in the South have very crude ideas of time. About 4 o'clock on a spring morning a young doctor in one of the hill counties of Vir­ ginia was returning home from a night call. Overtaking an old negro man carrying a fishing pole he asked the old man what time it was. "Hi, boss! Tain' no time yit; de sun ain' rlz." Mown About Town. It is the current report about town that Kemp's Balsam for the Throat and Lungs is making some remarkable cures with people who are troubled with Coughs, Sore Throat, Asthma. Bronchitis and Consumption. Any druggist will give you a trial bottle free of eost. It is guaranteed to relieve and cure. The Large Bottles are 50c and $1. THK courts are beginning to work in the Free State of Congo.. A chieftan ac­ cused of numerous assassinations of other chiefs was arrested, tried, con­ victed, and executed a mouth ago. The execution was military. Just before his death N'Sounda. the culprit, was asked if he would like anything. He %aid, "Yes, gin," and drank half a bottle of it beforo his soul went hurrying to the shades. Gqpgv%ht, isoa. from ordinary methods has long been adopted by the makers of Dii. Pierce's Golden Mcdical Discovery. They know what it can do--an<£ they guarantee it. Your money is promptly returned, if it fails t« benefit or cure in all diseases arising^, from torpid liver or impure blooC No better terms could be asked fotj. No better remedy can be had. Nothing else that claims to be fc blood-purifier is sold in this way-*,; because nothing else ia like "G. M. ]>.» So positively certain is it in itift curative effects as to warrant it# makers in selling it, as they are do-, ing, through druggists, on trial! <:r It's especially potent in curing; Tetter, Salt-rheum, Eczema, Eryw' sipelas, , Boils, Carbuncles, Soni Eyes, Goitre, or Thick Neck, an£ Enlarged Glands, Tumors an& Swellings. Great Eating Ulceitt rapidly heal under its benign in* fluepce. World's Dispensary Me&» ical Association, 663 Ma.i^ Street Buffalo, N*. Y. * Thousands ENTTILM. nnder the SEW AOt * '•* *> ] ,f V . y • W-'i * •' •' '-'I; • ?'• >]-•$ Writ» Immedisti ^ BI AXK> for appl CO.,Washington,! PM1S PENSIONS SiZ ehi'r.5 Law. Soldiers, Widows, Parents send for blank aa* plications and information. Patrick 0*F*rre<k Pension Agent, Waabinffton, D. C. DR. L. I,. GORSTTCH, Toledo, O-.aaya: "I have practiced medicine for forty years; have never seen a preparation that I could prescribe •with so mncn confidence of success as 1 can Hall's Catarrh Cure." Sold by Druggists, 75c. THE place to send old stamps is the Aisle des Hillode, Lode, Switzerland. In 1888 this asylum received over one mill­ ion stamps, of which the best the chil­ dren assorted and sold for 8240 to dealers and collectors, while the others were used for decorative purposes, rooms being pap.'rcd with thorn. "Do GOOD with that thou hast, or it will do thee no Kood." It you know ail about KAPOLIO put your knowledge to use. THE be3t cou?h medicine is PIso's Cur» for Consumption. JSold everywhere. 2J(«. WM. W. DUDLEY, LATE COMMISSIONER OF PENSION! _ Attorney at Law, Wasblimtou* IXtt (Mention this Paper.) '/Si NORTHWESTERN MILITARY ACADEMY HIGHLAND I'AltK, ILL. COLONKI- H. 1'. DAVIDSON, SuixTintendont. Qoduates commissioned in State Militia. P- * M C IAII C LAW. m,m soldlem, CHilllfllw widow* and relatives entitled. Apply ai once. Blanks au>1 Instruction free. gblTiES & CO., Att'jrs, Washington. D.G» PATENTS • • ll"iw • w jK9~Hend lor circular. MXNTION THIS PAPER WTAN W*M.SO TO mvn%Tuam. M?llO I AifOXXN W.MOimiS, • KllQlVlvWuhinKtoii, D.C> • 3yrs in last war, 16a4iudto*Ungrlalms, attjr uiuae, TulfT Pills enable the dvspeptic to pat whatever he Wishes. They cause the food to assimilate mil nourish the body, give appetite, and DEVELOP FLESH. Office, 39 & 4! Park Place, New York. RADWAYi RELICT Flie Disability Bill is a law. Soldiers disabled ataea tlie war sro entitled. Dependent widows and pazenta now dependent whose sons died from effletts of i PENSIONS! Soldiers disabled sinea viit widows and parents lied from eflMts of anay wish your claim snee*. JMfES TUSt soneroi Fpnc' - - service are included. If you lly and successfully pros­ ecuted, address I .ate Commissioner of Pensions, WMMISTII. 8. ft. FAT FBLKS Rttl£EI. * mm III,-- * mti I n il I •MM*. M* Ike MM MlMM ptfM tot WW to Hfii.il turn CSg mmmSS tkm UM ytff mm*m mm i£ tS'aJSTS tow, tme sMN m • apMMtot to* aMU Oa.. Mini i. U) a. SmvmIM fhr ifc* mm IMIi <M Wattiwr), IMiitha. Wr.LM IM ttltto FTHNTESETI J 8ru« Uui, tomM A Kan M* Da.. Mm i. PATIENT8 TIMTEI IT Nlll.1" in IMI ifUwwitu mtm me m m •a. o. w. r SNVMM. M c Tie"Little Beattlf k S5.Q0 Scalefsr MM Captodty t*4 •«. (• 4 Un. Stttl Bearings, BTMI Snrn ui jt liouiikwMn, Omc«i or V "rlrht packed,B lba.S«Dt bj « 9*S.0Of " -$555 SCALE (Vice LM Free. S«wtDf BiacfaiDc A (ton-lb. Platform Scab... II A •IK.tMt lei. 1W>- «1 A t-T« Vsj;i n ScaU..... A i-Tw Scale andStcdi Kmck 1 i A StO I'Md Mil! ..... A *40.00 Road Cart.. A tlt.OO Sincle Hinm... 1 A t«0-lfc. n at form Seal*. . t CHICAGO SCALE CO.. CUCM«.J If You Want t© Knovi . •j.OOt ^ruwnrrTitnmabnnt th> human Kjrrtem, v'-* * \dalllt aaved, dietase induced^ • tffnm In titK>hLA<r/SU* of tjjnomwct and Iffore too/rfoSSKi" r)'«rc to alt forma of ditcase. ^ * JIJou) tocur^prSirfCOld Eyr*. RiifXviv. rtumoats, tie., IHowtoma^btJtafipijin Marriagean<^eepritehoMJfa>-:V I and an oil'DU^C l>ootor'G Droll Jokas, profusely iliMpK 'traud. tiendtca cents for new Laugh Cure Book cattyft, MEDICAL SENSE AND NONSENSE, H. H1U 1TB CO., 129 East 28th SU Hew Yorfc,. ^ FYOTJ WISH * j-- i , <-- : ' -GOOM [SMffH&W£S5<W| REVOLVER 1 pnrchasa one of tho cele­ brated SMITH & WESSON READY-RELIEF Instantly Stop Pain | Ay-., AHDSPECDIIYCURC ALL RIOUS COMPJ-^- • representation of tiie engraving on our wrappers.--RADWAX <t 00. NEW YORK. arrets. The finest email arms ever manufactured and the choice of a!) experts. . _ Manufactured in calibrcs :c, 38and 44-100. Sin- trlpordouhle action, Safety Hammerlesa and Target model*. Constructs entirely or beat <iat» **«• steelp osrrful!;- inspected forwoiifc- manship and stock, they are unrivaled for lilik durnbilit v nnd accuracy. I>onot bedeceiYaa v ciioap malleable cast-fron imtcatlaae whidk are often sold for the ffenuine article aad are nofc only unreliable, hut dangerous. The SMITH at WESSON Hcvolvcrs arc all stamped npon thecal* rels with firm's name, addivsK and dates of patento and are guaranteed perfect In every detail. sistupon having the arenuine article, and if TOW dealer cannot supply you an order sent to adarcaa below will receive prompt and careful attention* Descriptive catalogue and prices furnished upon a#» plication. ^MITH & WESSON, ^"Mention this paper. Springfield, Maajfc I prescribe and tally dorse Big <J as the only specific for the certain cum of this disease. G. H.INUKAHAM.M. IX, Amsterdam, N. Y. We bave sold Big G tor many years, and it h* f;lTen the best of sstlfr , action- __ D. B. DYCHE & CO.. Chicago, UL 81.00. Sold by Draggisfli^y. No. 38-tt® 11THEN WRITING TO APVERTISERl, '» ltlease aay yoa aaw the advertisen| in this patter. Carat ta 1 TO 6 DATS. tMd BM M MOM Striatal*. Krdonlr by CbnlttlOfc Cincinnati Ohio. Satarto RELIEVES INSTANTLY. I ELY EKOTH EES, 66 Warren St, New York. Price 60 Best Cough Medicine. Recommended by Physicians. Cures where all else fails.^ Pleasant and agreeable to tho taste. Children take it without objection. By druggists. every WA TERPROOF COLLAR 0B CUFF THAT CAN BE RELIED OH Not to Split! Not to Discolor Z • r'. S Ml BE UP TO THE MARK BEARS THIS MARK. M '4 MARK. NEEDS HO LAUNDCRIHO. CAM BX WIPED CLEAN IN A MOMENT. THB ONLY LINEN-LINED WATERPROOF COLLAR IN THE MARKET.