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|j[|c§tcsirn flaindealw ^ VAN SLYKE, Editor antf PuMtsMtv , WtftaBNRY, - " - ILLINftld. RVD-RGAUCD OIRt. ^ J.-J' . » •¥ ' : jf £ *- WIFBKDBHICK OOLBTHWAm V' ' " r- givo m« the girl wftli the auburn h*ltt The lass with the xioachhlow curls; * « one that the white liorae is always &MLT, For she's t he bonis of all girls. one whose topknot is flaraingly red-- t IThe color we pamt the town-- a rosy tinge, moat luridly spread j 4^«'«r i ̂ arr°t v. sunset crown. give me the pill whose cranium's hnad With Harvard's gelectf-d shade: ®be tint of neckties worn by the dude, The pink of the blushing inuid. , »e one with the wavy, raspberry bang, •Thnt casts forth fle>"y rays ; Whose cherry bow catchers witchingly bug Like bunches of currants ablaze. Ok give me the girl with the ketohnp crop, .Crab apple, cranberry tinged; whose dome's adorned with a tomato mop. All crinkled and coiled and fringed. With a sorrel Psyche knot on h*r pate, I.ike grape juice, or old port wine-- With the coral, the ruby, garnet plait, jLike peppers or drug store twine. Oh. give me the girl with the gold-flshcriinp«; ' With ringlets like beefsteak rare; TJifl one with t he locks of fricasseed shrimps-- ^The one with the lobster hair ; *!1»e weinerwurst. frunkfurt sausage girl With the soft shell crab like braids, jPor the one with the danger signal curl Lays over all other maids. So give me the girl whosejesanopy's Aovm Is rouge, like a toy balloon; •Whose cupalo's cappe*l with a scarlet crown Of camution. brick, maroon. The one with the strawberry knob, so fair. She'll xnak'p thing?, torrid through life; Oh. give me the fiirl with the raw meat hair-- The red-bended girl for a wife! 7--JT«c York Vlioy>er. fliw He Deceived Old Snaggs and Won aWife^ BY W. L FRENCH. Old man Snaggs was a character in Ida way, and liis -way was not the way of most people, to it brought the old tnaxt into a great deal of prominence •mong his neighbors. Old ii an Snaggs reminded one of a jbry goods box, square on all sides, and with a good many sharp corners in his make-up. He was not one of your "bad men," but he was a hard one, and all there when it came to a rough and tumble, knock­ down or any other similar diversion that came in his way and in which he \ loved to indulge. Be was not a tall man, but what he lacked in height he made up in breadth, and when he got to town and threw a few bowls inside of him, those with •whom he was not on friendly terms ~ usually went around a block or two to leep out of the old man's wa?. He •was the hardest man around Pnnkin- Tille to handle, and few had any desire to meet Mm in a physical encounter. The old man possessed one daughter lrho was the source of great annoyance to him. She was both young and good- looking, and, as she was an only child and heir prospective to the old man's broad acres, sh<» did not lack for would- be suitors.^^ut it was would-be only, •for the old^man found some objection to «acli and all of them, and unceremoni­ ously hustled them off the place, 'till it was seldom now that a new one ven­ tured to the house "to see Molly." When she objected to the old man's ̂manner of conducting hingself toward -her would-be gallants he replied: "I tell ye, child, ther right one haint V kum along vit, an'when he does the old - man 11 let ye know, an' that's all there - is to it" ""Yea, but," argued Molly, '"how do ; , you know the right one for you will be * the right one for me?" "I reckon that '11 be made plain ter ye when the time kums. As fer me bein' botherecf ter cut wood an' bay ile fer every youlpg galloot iu the kentry, why, its rifliculous, so thar." And when the old laan ended anything.with ""so thar,' it ^assettled as far as he was concerned. But Molly partook more of the agres puts hoes sense in a man's head quiekar an' surer than any thing I know of." "Yes, it does give a man experience to travel," responded Molly. "Sperience! That's the word. It cost me powerful when I was a young man, butitdriv some things into my head that couldn't a got thar no other way, an' they have been a power of use to me since;" and the old man drew off his course brogans, and, firing each one into opposite corners of the room, spit out his huge quid of to­ bacco and "mosied off to bed." This was the first time Moll} had ventured to discuss her lover's merits with the old man, and she did not feel encouraged by the result. Early the next morning Freckled Rube was on hand and "struck" the old man for a job. He surveyed Bub^ critically from head to heels, and fin- ally decided to hire him, for Rube had the reputation of being a good worker. So he made him an offer, and, as the latter was not very particu­ lar under the circumstances as to wages, a bargain was soon struck. Rube went to work at once, and, as a hired man's duties were anything but few, at the Snaggs' homestead, he was kept quite busy. Still he found a good deal of time to spend in Molly's society, and he flattered himself that he was gaining ground in the good graces of the old man himself. Two weeks passed before anything of unusual moment happened. Rube had been holdiug bis end up with the old man at work, and this was more than his former hired man had been able to do. The old man prided him­ self on his skill as a horseback-rider. He always made it a point to back out his hired man on riding a fractious colt, thea he would mount and successfully break it, and commiserate with his man on account of his lack of skill and nerve. Freckled Rube knew the old man's weakness on this point, and on this par­ ticular day, when he announced that "they would break colts this mornin'," Rube, who wa? an excellent rider, de­ cided to remain iu the background and let the old man have his much-prized pleasure of crowing over his hired man for his want of ability as a rider. The first colt they caught to break was a particularly wild one. It had just enough broncho blood in its veins to make it an A No. 1 bucker. As usual, after the colt was successfully saddled and bridled, the old man in­ vited his hired man to take a front seat, bpt Rube modestly declined. The old rpau gave a chuckle of satisfaction of tia>s fresh victory in prospective, and, grisping the bridle-rein firmly in hand, vaulted into the saddle. At least he intended to, but he had hardly touched it when the colt executed a surprisingly sudden side movement, with an upper cut, and the old man lit on his head in a pile of straw some fifteen feet away. His neck popped like a pistol as he struck and weut rolling amongst the straw. For a moment Freckled Rube feared that the old man's neck might be broken, but he was reassured an instant later as Snaggs arose and started to­ ward the colt, which was standing still a few yards awav. "By vum, that was powerful sudden!" exclaimed the old man; "but 1 am on ter him now, an' I'll be watohio' the lad." Grasping the bridle-rein again in one hand, the old man gave a leap and was on the colt. For a moment there was a confus^l picture of a hdr-e and man rising and descending swiftly in the air. Then the old man lost his grip and went flying through space. This time he was not so fortunate in alighting, for his head struck a broken fence rail and deprived him of con- sciouness. It required several minutes' work from Rube and a plentiful supply of water from the barn-yard well to bring him to his senses. "How d'ye feel?" asked Rube with great apparent solicitation. "Powerfully rattled! Powerfully rattled, young man. It's the first time auything of the kin' ever happened to old man Snaggs. But I told Molly a while back, thar's nothin' like hard Better there was blood shouted: "Trip the old man, will ,ye? you look out!" Biff! whack! smack! n<fw up!f Jjow down! now over! now under! Five minutes passed in fierce conflict,- and then the old man signified that he had enough. It was an admission he had never been called on to' make before in his life. The two men arose to their feet and arranged their disordered clothing. Both were badly battered up, but the old man had decidedly the worst of it. For a moment they stood surveying- each other, then the old man said: "You kin hev her, Rube, a8 soon as you want her. I always said I was powerfully deceived in you, Rube, an' I reckon I was." Saying which old Snaggs stumped into the house And left the lovers to themselves reckon it's so. Are v u going to try him again ?" Bive, independent spirit of her father,, . than she did of the meek, retiring one j ® 8 ,^ei a man sperience, an I of her mother, and so t>he contrived to «et the old man's laws at defiance and meet her lovers at the houses of vari­ ous friends. Finally the number dwindled down to one--Rube Marshall, nick-named by his companions "Freckled Rube"--and asked Rube. "I reckon I am, young man, unless you want to take the job off my ban's." "Well, I ain't much of a rider, but I kin try him," and Freckled Rube man- he, too, was something of a character. I fully approached the colt. 11a 4̂ 11 J.J V? * _ * t 3 ! TKq aI/1 man ii*n a How • Faithful Trainman Got • Varnished Car and fie. . A man on the Wabash road is now running varnished cars and eating pie who owes his success in a measure to kicking the general manager. When a trainman prospers and gets a passenger train he speaks of his good fortune W running varnished cars and eating pie. When he is in the humbler calling of working on a freight tjrain he sometimes calls it eating corn bread in the dog house. General Manager Tallmage of the Wabash was of the old school of rail­ roaders, who believe in attending to the details of the line. He had been a trainman himself and he knew ihe weaknesses of the craft. He would watch the train sheets, and if a crew re­ ported delays at a certain point on about every run, he would go down there quietly and keep an eye out for them. He took one of these trips on one occasion and supposed his move­ ments were unknown to the crews he wished to watch, for he went secretly as an ordinary passenger, and did not reach his destination until after dark. But, to use the slang of the men, they were on to him. He secreted himself on a gondola loaded with car wheels, and thought that he was unobserved until a brakemau, pretending to take him for a tramp, came along and kicked him most mercilessly. At every blow of the foot he accentuated the action with some ornamental profanity very painful to hear. Mr. Tallmage did not reveal his identity, but limped away, and he found out that the brakemau who had so maltreated him was really a valuable man, and not responsible for the delay. After the kicking the brakemau went back to the caboose and said to the con­ ductor: "Well, I fixed the old man. I suppose I'll get my envelope at the end of the run. It's all right, though. This ain't the only road." Two days later the brakemau was summoned to the general manager's office. He shook Hands with the boss, bade him good-bye, pushed his cap over his left ear defiantly and walked away to the slaughter. Mr. Tallmage asked him how long he had been breaking, questioned him about various matters, pertaining to handiing trains, and then fairly knocked him silly by informing him that he should report to the train master, who would give him a position as conductor. "By the way," said Mr. Tallmage, as the astonished man was leaving the office, "are you bothered with tramps on your division?" The brakeman blushed a little, fcherf summoned all his stolidity and said: "Yes, but we're cleaning 'em out. I run across one two nights ago hid in a car o' wheels and kicked the bum half way across the State. He won't bother me no more."--Indianapolis Sun. Was a Ureat Reformation. A gentleman while walking along the street met a man whom he recognized as once having been a notorious drunk­ ard. " Why, how are you ?" he* asked. "First rate." "I should judge so by your appear­ ance. The last time I saw you, some three years ago, I think, you were ragged and suffering from the effect of driuk. Now you look like a million­ aire. What have you been doing?" "Well, sir, I stopped drinking, saved up a few hundred dollars and went into business. Since then I have made money." The gentleman seized his hand. "My dear sir," said he, "I am now on my way to attend a temperance meeting. Would you mind going with me and re­ lating your experience? Remember that you are in a position to speak an effective word of encouragement to He was tall, lean, slab-sided, big-jointed ' The old man was on his feet in an in- and double-fisted. He was so badly j stant. He was sore both bodily and freckled that the skin of his hands and j mentally, and he would have been only , face were little else but freckles, and to° g'ad to see the only witness of his hopeless stragglers. hence the name. "Freckled Rube." He own downfall served in a like manner. . "I'll go with you." ran a large farm for his widowed moth-1 Rube swung confidently into the "All right; I am to lecture' and er, and bore the reputation of being a j saddle, and he staid there. Madly the the proper time I will call on you. very dutiful son. ' colt kicked and bucked, reared and Perhaps Molly thought that as he was j pitched, but all in vain; his rider was a dutiful son he would be a dutiful hus- j there to stay. band. At any rate his wooing pro- j The colt, finding he could not shake greased favorably, and in a few months rider off, set out in a keen rnn to es- they were engaged. cape from him. but he found this to be But here a great dilemma presented a useless experiment, and in a little ittelf to the lovers. Who was to break ' while Rube rode the conquered colt at The house was crowded. The lect­ urer, after exhibiting his stock of pict­ ures illustrative of the horrors of in­ temperance, called upon the prosperous man. The fellow got up and without any embarrassment said: "Ladies and gen- ( tlemen, I am here to-day to talk to you tile news of their engagement to the old 1 slowly back-to where the old man stood !in a practical manner of the poverty <nan and ask his consent? Many plans j rather dejectedly awaiting Rube's re-1 ®ide of the whisky habit. Three years for successfully accomplishing this were 1 turn. But all the old, man would say ! aB° I ragged and desolate, with a J 1 -t ky tjiem M j on w|jat was ratiier a sore point to him ragi"f? appetite for driuk and a disre- was: gard for all human and divine law. My <iiscus8ed and thrown "soaeles8. Old Snaggs wanted a "hand," and Rube at length decided on the plan of agoing to work for him and trying to worm himself into his good (traces--a mtther doubtful task. So to lull the old man's suspicions, if lie should have any, in regard to Rube coming to him for work, Molly, Bube and his mother were to tell •that Rube and his mother had "Freckled Rube, I war powerfully deceived in you--more than I ever war in any young man before." About a week later, one bright moon­ light evening, the old man heard voices under the trees back of the house. It was Rube and Molly, and the old man heard enough pass inform him how the believed him to be in bed, else they hada"fallin' out' in re,?afd to conduct- would not have been talking so loudly ing the affairs of the farm, and that their mutual affections. Bube had "reached out for himself," j Instantly the old man placed himself *wd was going to let the old lady run I before them. They knew what was j the farm as she saw fit.. Accordingly , coming by the old man's eve, and! that evening Molly told her father that' Freckled Rube thought it advisable to j •he had heard that lvube Marshall was ! g*'t on his feet as soon as possible. ,going to leave home and do for himself, "About time,** growled the old man. ""Freckled Rube's been livinr off the old lady long enough. If he ever 'spects to "•mount to anything, it's 'bout time he was beginnin'." Not a very encourag­ ing answer in the light * of Molly's -hopes. "But von know, father, he always worked the farm for liis mother and took care of things for her." _ _ "Ya's, I reckon so. But he's kin' of ' and we're engaged" ~a home baby. I don't think he'd j thing you kin do is . mount to much when # kum to taken iv "®aal hard knocks," said the old man. " fcI 'low that when I was his§ge I'd rus­ tled 'n un' over a right smart of kentrv, - an' made my own livin', too," and the "M>ld man squirted a gil of tobacco juice *v>*.&|nto the open stove hearth, by way of '-^uiphazir.g his remarks. , • "But it was different with you, father. p4 You had no one dependin' on you, w^fTTrhile he has had to look after his ma." ?';• "Ya's, I s'pose so. But a feller ain't f* v • a real man 'till he's knocked 'roun' a IJ^, ;!>it an' butted his head a few times . the rough comers of'the world. It So that's your game, is it, Freckled Itube? Ye'r not the husbau' I'd be pickin' out fer my gal, an' the bes' thing you kin do is to git. I've been power­ fully deceived in ye, Freckled Rube; but I reckon I'm on ter ye now. So git." But Rube had no mind to obey just yet. He determined to argue the case a little, and he said: "But I love Molly, an' she loves me, I think the best to say yes to it." wife was wretched and my children were hungry. I had tried many times to reform, but had tailed, but this did not keep me from trying again. I tried and succeeded. I went to work, and, although the struggle was severe, I j stuck to my resolve. I succeeded in between them to i s^ing about $300, and then went into land lay. They I DusiDtl38 *or myself. That was two ' years ago. What is my condition now? I live in a fine house, my wife dresses handsomely and my children are happy. I- " "What sort of business dic}you fj^> in?" some one asked. * "I started a saloon. If there we.'e any man present that felt a disposition to applaud, he wisely restrained himself.--Arkansaw 'Trav eler. "Not if I know myself, an' I reckon I do. Don't stop to argy with me, but git. So thar i" "You'd better po, Rube; when father says "So thar,' he's done talking," said Molly. "I know he does, but- " The old man made a leap to grasp Rube by the collar, inteuding to aid him off the nlace with his No. 10a. But Rube was equal to the emergency. He skillfully avoided the old mar's grasp and gave him a trip that sent him to grasp. Instantly the old^man was up, and Unexpected iieneronlty. A woman entered & drugstore not far from Beacon street, the other evening, and said that she wanted to pur chase a toothbrush. The pro prietor laid out a number of these arti cles upon the counter for her inspec tion, and turned away to attend to the wants of another custo uer. In a short time the female approached him and said, in the sweetest of tones: "I have tried them all, and think that I like this one the best, so will take it." The astonished proprietor took one look at her, gave one short moment to silent reflection and meditation, th«n said: "Madam, you may have them all for the price of this one. I will make vou a present of them." The woman no doubt is yet wonder ing at the cause of his unexpected gen­ erosity.--Boston Record. MKNTAL worry, it is thought, i» the chief cause of cancer. ROMANCE OF A PARROT, A Plain Ranltal tVliieh Will gurprtM a Clover French Statlntleian. Parrots are priests of evil, if the de­ ductions of a French student of criminal statistics are true, says a Chicago paper. He asserts that persons who own parrots are twenty-flv* times as likely to be criminals as those who do not. That is to say, taking equal numbers of owners and non-owners ef parrots, twenty-five of the former have criminal records where only one <fl the latter has en­ countered the penal code. If the Frenchman had Btudied the, nature of the crimes committed by the two classes, he probably would have found that the criminal parrot owners are twenty-five times as vicious as the ordinary crim­ inal The Frenchman may be correct in his deductions, bat he did cot go iar enough. He ought to have gone into the next house^--to all tho houses in the block iu which a parrot resides--and there collected the criminal statistics of the neighborhood. The parrot's first knowledge of the language is its profane vocabulary. He is a wonderful induce­ ment to profanity. His choice of litera­ ture is Zola's wojrks. A Dearborn avenue parrot never ceased his railings against the human race until a volume of that wicked author was chained to his perch. The parrot's face is sufficient to guar­ antee its picture a place in the rogues' gallery. It has the red nose of a bum­ mer, the evil eye*of a confidence man and the voice of a grave robber. Music takes the wire edge off the savage in­ stincts, the poet says. If the parrot's song gushes from its heart, its senti­ mental nature must consist of a nail factory. The young man who owns the Dear­ born avenue parrot tried to teach it to sing. He experimented with different instruments to get a key that would chord with the parrot's voice. He suc­ ceeded one dav when a troubadour saw- posted on the doors and railings. There you read the tax ratings for the parish, and that marriage licences are obtain­ able somewhere on the premises, and that men are wanted for the army, and stokers will get good pav in the navy. In these notices the branch of the pub­ lic service that calls for recruits usually posts a colored picture of the uniform of that wing of the service, chromos that are intended to look very allnring. We Americans are reminded by this treatment of the houses of worship that perhaps it was not so strange, after all, for the British to use the churches in New York and Boston for garrisons and prisons, and whatever else they needed them for during the Revolutionary war. Where church and State are joined, the State, usei. meeting-houses to its 3 : Ml lit Juleps. Juleps are the most refreshing beverages known to modest drinkers fhis weather. There is much demand tor the essence of the sweet-smelling leaf, but of all those who smack their tjs after tasting the delicious mixture ere are few who know the origin of the very pleasing drink. Some years ago when passing by a farm in the State of Kentucky a traveler stopped at the farmer's house on the roadside and, getting off' his horse, asked the smiling old lord of the big estate if he could have a glass of water. "Why, ye9," was the reply, "and maybe you would not object to a little of the good old stuff in ft" "Not a bit, my friend," answered the traveler, and the old man weut to sup­ ply the wants of the weary rider. While ()n his mission of charity the traveler's nasal organ came in contact with the sweet odor that emanated from a large bed of- mint in an adjoining kitchen garden, and on receiving a glass of clear spring water with a bumper of "genuine old grog" thrown in, asked the benefactor if he would not kindly filer began a solo on his stringed instru- give him a bunch of the mint. He .got ments in the woodshed. The parrot sung in the precise key of the sawfile, and the neighborhood at once flung it­ self against the ten commandments. The first was violated in the remarks that greeted the duet iu its upper regis­ ters. From that the descent was easy to covetousness and murder--a desire to possess and kill the parrot. This young man was paying court to a most exemplary young woman in the neighborhood. "He was not a two-to- five favorite of her father. In fact, the old gentleman bad refused to subscribe for either the preferred or common stock of the trust in which the young folk had oombined their confidence in each other. One beautiful moonlight evening, when the stars were gossiping about Jupiter and Venus as they spun their golden threads through the fate of this loving pair, a gruff, cold, piercing, unsympathetic voice screamed: Ha, ha, you villian!" The young man, who had never heard Alderman Dixon in the heat of debate in the City Council, was startled. He rolled down the stone steps on which he had been sitting and started down the street as if he were going to win in canter. The old gentleman was aiouaed, and started in hot pursuit. The neighbors Bold pools on the results, and were arrested by Corrigau's men for betting on the races. From that moment affairs became worse in that neighborhood. A worthy gentleman in the next block was elected Alderman, and introduced^ gas ordinance in the Cortncil. AnotWr became a constable', and entered on a" criminal career. The young girl eloped with the leader of the choir. The old man started in pursuit of the erring young woman, boarded a Clark street car, the cable broke when the train was in the middle of the tunnel, and the electric lights went out. The old gentleman, though a deacon, used violent language, touch­ ing the president of the company. The minister happened to be in the grip smoking a Milwaukee avenue perfecto. A church scandal resulted, in which the girl's father was tried for conduct unbe­ coming a deacon, and the minister was unfrocked because he had violated the smoke ordinance. The upshot of the whole matter was that the parrot was hanged for witch­ craft, and thus peace was finally re­ stored. The choir singer became a Board ot Trade broker and made a mill­ ion in a wheat corner. The ex-deacon became a banker and is now living in Canada in luxury. The ex-preaclier dealt in racehorses and is winning heavy pools on the West Side. But the parrot is dead. Arabian Baby's Toilet. A royal baby's first toilet, in Arabia, consists in winding a bandage about its body after it has been bathed and per­ fumed. The little creature is then placed on its back, its arms and feet are straightened, and the entire body is swathed to the shoulders. In this position it remains motionless for forty days, but the bandage is re­ moved twice a day that the child may have a bath. The Arabs believe that this process will make the body straight for life. Under such circumstances it seems fortunate that babyhood is not a period which can be remembered in af­ ter years, for nobody would chose to suffer such days of misery again, even in recollection. If the child be a girl, on the seventh day after her birth, holes, usually six in number, are pricked in her ears, and when Bhe is two months old heavy gold ear-rings are attached to them, to bo worn throughout her lifetime, ex­ cept during periods of mourning for rel­ atives. On the fortieth day the baby's head is shaved. This operation is considered a very important one, and thirty it and dipped it into his glass several times until nicely flavored and then drank. The old gentleman was surprised and asked what in the name of heaven he had*do»e that for, to which the thank­ ful traveler replied by asking if he would permit him to mix one for him. The farmer consented, and after driuk- ing smacked his lips and said "Grand!" The traveler contiuued on his way after thanking his host for the hospitality shown himi having mixed the first mint julep heard of. Four years later he passed the same way again and stopped at the same old farmers house for a glass of water. In­ stead of his old friend, he was met at the door by an old lady bearing a nicely-bordered cap. "May I have a glass of water Ma'am?" asked the traveler. "Certainly," was the kind reply. "But where is your husband?" asked the stranger as he drank a glass of plain water. "Well, you see, Bir, about four years ago a stranger passed this way and taught my poor husband how to drink his whisky with grass in it. He never drank his whisky after that without grass in it, and when the grass gave out he died. A Great Polish Novelist. The name of Henryk Sienkiewicz. a Polish novelist, has for several years been spoken of in the most enthusi­ astic terms by students of contempo­ rary literature for whom his native Sclavish tongue is not an insuperable difficulty, says the Boston Traveler. It is now announced, however, that stu­ dents of Polish are no longer to be the only ones to whom these writings are to be known, for about the middle of the month a translation of M. Sienkie- wicz's first great novel, "Ogniem i Mieczem," or "Fire and Sword," is to be given to the American public. The estimation in which the new novelist is held may be judged from the following assessment of its literary value, taken from Black wood for April. It calls him "the first of Polish novel­ ists, past or present, and second to none now living in England, France or Ger­ many," and also says of him: " He has Dumas' facility for conceiving and car­ rying out a complicated historical ro­ mance; he has much of Bret Harte's dry humor and laconic pathos, and a good deal of TurgeniefTs melancholy suggestiveness, with some of his deli­ cacy of touch." M. Sienkiewicz is now but 45 yoars of age. He graduated at the University of Warsaw, and then, coming to America, spent several years in California, where lie, doubtless, de­ veloped the peculiar American humor which is found in bis writings. His novels were firBt collected and pub­ lished in 1880, his sketches of American travel which appeared in Polish news­ papers having created such an interest in the new writer that the step was fully justifitd. It was not until 1884 that "Fire and Sword" was published, and it established the reputation of the writer beyond a doubt. It was fol­ lowed by two supplements, the whole historical novel covering the Cossack war under John Kazimir, the war with Sweden and the Turkish invasion of the West. The strength of the new novelist is said to lie in the wide and varied imagi­ nation, his characteristically Sclavish impetuosity and strength of style, and his wonderful ability to think and talk in the terms of the period of which he writes. The publication of the furth­ coming translation will be awaited with interest and curiosity by a large num­ ber of persons interested in the litera­ ture of the day. (irammir In 1'rlnon. A writer iu the Boston Transcript describes the school in the State Re- i formatory at Concord, Mass. The olj greater part of the men gladly avail forty persons are witnesses of it, for the I themselves of its privileges, though Pe£j°rmay)Ce pertain ritey _ _ j others make all kinds of excuse*, and j'^ Posal the first hair is re- one boy bruised his right forefinger garded as a very weighty matter; it regularly for two weeks in order to be must not be burned or carelessly thrown > exempt from writing.* Vur'et^' thrown into tbe sea, j Qf course the school is not without or hidden in some crevice of a wall, its dunces. One boy could never re­ member the word "conjunction." The teacher labored in vain till one day he Several charms are attached to its body for protection against the "evil eye," boys wearing them to a certain age, and girls still longer. The favorite charm consists of a gold or silver locket worn on a chain. Cliiirchoi* In l.ondon. There is an uncommon number of churches in London; they are marvel- ously common objects. They are al­ most all stone, and railed in with gran­ ite posts and iron fences. Two things about the Episcopal churches (which are in the majority) strike an American as peculiar. One is that fire apparatus is often stored in the little enclosures, so that up against a dingy [church wall you see a bright red ladder, or a flam­ ing tool or hose cart. The fire ladders are on wheels. Church yards are regular fire-stations, and in such cases a red lantern is hung on the railings at night with the words, "Fire Station" glaring in its lighted front. The other peouliar thing about the churches is had an inspiration. The close prox­ imity of the institution to Concord Junction gave him an idea. "Now, Tom," he said, "you can re­ member conjunction by thinking of Concord Junction." Tom's face beamed. At last the both­ ersome word was conquered; he should never forget it. Weeks went by, and the incident passed out of mind. Tito old difficulty was no longer heard of. One night visitors entered the room, and the teacher called up Tom to analyze a sen­ tence. All went well till he came to the word "and". Then he stopped, and a cold chill crept over the teachor. Tom glanced at the door and then at the ceiling. Suddenly his face bright­ ened. "And--and," said he, "and is a Con­ cord Junction." A Welcome Guest. In reality we know very little about our friends until we entertain them under our own roof, or in such manner are received by them; hence it is that good fellowship of years has often been destroyed by a few weeku of close inter­ course. To part at the end of that time in perfect harmony speaks of fine qual­ ities in both host and guest. It seems strange that any one occupying the lat­ ter position should lack the tact which renders an outsider a pleasant addition to the family life, but the fact remains that five out of ten fail in this particu­ lar. In the first place, a guest's very interest in the members of the house­ hold may cause her to be curious con­ cerning them; but if she wishes to avoid offence she will never ask a question about these affairs, lest she be sus­ pected of prying, and consequently a person to be guarded against. She will, moreover, be in a measure self-en­ tertaining, and careful not to give too much of her society either to the assem­ bled family or to one member of it. A little observation will soon show her which individuals like a taste of soli­ tude, at what hours ail like to congre­ gate; and she will then betake herself, with book, or work, or letter-writing, to her own room, or to some sheltering corner of the house, for comfortable in­ tervals of time. She will be especially particular, on the evenings when the family remain at home and have no call­ ers, to seek her bed at a comparatively early hour, not waiting for every one else to be gone, and never, under any circumstances, allowing herself to be the last, recognizing that the hour be­ fore sleep is one of great value to mas­ ter and mistress, to sister and brother, or to mother and daughter, for neces­ sary and confidential talk, the desire for which talk, if it caunot take place, and has to be postponed on account of her presence, finds her then a nuisance. That guest is an unwise person who takes advantage of the privilege of guestship in order to occupy the most comfortable seat, to appropriate the window with the view, the warm corner of the fireside, the most of the evening lamp, the freshness of the morning or the evening paper, the cutting of the new review, the opening of the new novel, the first and best of anything. If the hosts know their duty, all this will be offered to her; but even then she must see the folly of accepting too mnch. The guest who puts her powers of observation to use, in other matters, again, will acquaint herself with the household habits quietly aud very shortly. If it is a family where a 6et breakfast is the habit, with the whole family assembled, she will be sure to present herself with the others; but if, on the contrary, one or two only come down together, and others come along one by one, she will come alone, at her convenience, doing then comfortabiy in Rome as the Romans do. She may rest assured that the more she is inclined to make less of herself with dignity, the more her entertainers will magnify her, and make her visit„sp agreeable that she cannot help coming again."*'- 1 "" ~ Quit Being an Archduke., Johann Orth is the name on a busi­ ness card which is now to be found in many of the chief country houses throughout Chili and the Argentine Re­ public. A supplementary line indicates that the bearer of it is a member of a wealthy English company extensively engaged in the nitrate of soda trade. Mr. Orth i? none other than that famous rebel Habsburg, the Archduke John of Austria and Tuscany, son of the la-1 reigning sovereign of the Italian Duchy. Heiwent to Valparaiso last spring as second mate of the bark Santa Margaret, from London to the Plate. Committees were appointed to prepare for a pro- digous public demonstration, and adepu- tation waited upon the illustrious visitor. They found him at his duties aboard ship, and were much taken aback when he greeted their reverential address with a hearty peal of laughter. "Why, gentlemen," said he, "I'm not an archduke any more. I'm just plain Johann Orth. Y'oU must not get up any public welcome for me. Iicould not think of accepting it. No, no! All that is left behind forever!" In this he persisted, and the whole demonstration had to be abandoned. Months before his final rupture with his family, the burden of his cry was that he wanted to work, "I claim the right to be a worker in the hive." But the laws of the Habs- burgs forbade him to work, and the Em­ peror was deaf to his appeals for an ex­ ception in his favor. "Very Well, then," he said at last, "if it is forbidden to a Habsburg to work, I will not longer be a Habsburg. Johann Orth can work, if Johann Habsburg can­ not!" Her GoUlvn Loohit, A story is told on a young physician of this city who was connected at one time with the Emergency Hospital, which has caused many u smile at his expense. He had not long been sta­ tioned at the hospital when a woman was brought in suffering from a severe scalp wound. The bloud was welling out in great jets and was fast dying her golden curls a lusty red, and the doctor was engaged in hastily clipping her hair, when his patient exclaimed: "Oh, doctor, don't!" , Thinking he might have hurt her, he said: "Oh, never mind; that's all right." "No, it's not," responded the lady, with some warmth, "for you are cuttiug my wig." And so he was. -- Washington Post. Revolutionary Wl<lown. There are thirty-five widows drawing pensions from the Goverment because their husbands were soldiers in the Revolutionary war. The oldest of them is Mrs. Nancy Rains, of Knoxville, Tenn., the widow of John Rains. She is now in her ninety-eighth year, On account of her great age she receives a pension of $ot) a month, which is more than that received by any other Revo­ lutionary pensioner. Tho number of them decreases every year, and but few will probably be lett at the close of an­ other decade.--Pittsburgh Press. Had I'rooi of His Guilt. "Mr. Scadley, henceforth we are strangers." "Might I aak why,Maude--Miss Blue- jeans?" "Simply because you are unfaithful, sir. You*told me you could not call last night because you had an engage­ ment at the ratification meeting of the Prohibition ticket. Notwithstanding, my pa--who was there himself--informs me at 3 o'clock this morning he heard you telling a tree box and a lamp post that Annie Rooney was your sweetheart; sir."--Philadelph ia Times. _ LOVE may be blind, but he skips the that public notices and placards are girl with the sqniat. DUMPSEY--Blobbson's wife is very small, isn't she? Popinjay--Yes; you would hardly believe it, but I have heard it said that she goes through his pockets every night. • •s-'< „*•„ / a £W ODD. QUEER AND CURIOUS. ATTEMPTS are to be made to cultivate Japanese bamboo in Florida. A PAIR of shoes for a Georgia negro weighed four pounds, five ounces. They numbered 15. IN clearing up the postoffioe at Asto­ ria, Ore., recently, a package of letters mailed in 1887 was found. IN Bradford County, Florida, is a hollow stump, from which ccraes a noise similar to that of a boiling kettle, A HABLEM bride received among her wedding presents a receipted gas bill of $17 from her father. Two perfectly white robins with pink eyes, were recently captured in the meadow of Caleb Swayne, in West Goshen, Penn. THE name of a woman who died in Kansas City a few days ago was Joicy Jane Permelia Ann Sarah Elizabeth Douglass Carr Gentry Ballard. THE London Times has a good corre­ spondent at Buenos Ayres. He was in the midst of the street fighting, and Bent off a dispatch amid a shower ot bullets. , . THE people of San Francisco have presented to the cruiser of that name a $7,500 silver service that is said to be the handsomest thing of its kind owned in America. A TOPEE in Waterville, Me., received a startling surprise. He was locked ujr for being drunk, and next morning dis­ covered that he had spent the night in a cell with a corpse. FASHIONABLE entertainments have been enormously extravagant in Lon­ don this season. Several have cost between $30,000 and $40,000. The flowers for a bachelor party cost $5,000. AFTER spending two or three months and hundreds of dollars in litigation as to the ownership of a dog, two Chicago gentlemen are now advertising for the dog which has mysteriously disap­ peared. THE new Masonic Temple in Chicago is to have eighteen stories, and the rool will be 240 feet from the pavement. The ground dimensions will be 117 by 111 feet. The structure will be built principally of steel. ROCHESTER, Ind., has a boy orator 5 years old. He is named Irwin J. Sten- ger, has a remarkable memory, and spouts speeches and sermons, to the amazement of the people who visit his father's farm. A LADY of Kursk started in the mid­ dle of July for St. Petersburg. She intends to make her way, a distance oi 1,200 versts, oa horseback within twenty days. A club of velocipedista escorted her to Orel on their wheels. M. CA88AGUES, a Parisian, has in­ vented a system of steno-telegraphy, by which short-hand notes of speeches and other reports may be telegraphed. His plan saves three-fourths of the time or­ dinarily used in telegraphing. IN Germany the number of drug stores are registered by law--a certain number to a certain district, according to population. A druggist there is allowed to sell only drugs, or euch arti­ cles as are used for medicinal purposes. IT is generally believed that the sew­ ing machine was originated by Eliae Howe. This is not true, as the first sewing machine was patented in En­ gland by Thomas Saint, on July 17, 1790, twenty-five years before Howe was born. PARASOLS made of the best lindej}. wood, manufactured by Finnish peas­ ants in the suburbs of Viborg, are in fashion in the Russian summer resorts along the lines of the Russo-Finnisb railroads. They are light, elegant and cheap. WHILE clipping timber in West Ken- nebunk, Me., Horatio Littlefieid met a curiosity. One old tree, instead of cut­ ting down, he decided to dig up by the roots. He did so, and imbedded in the roots, five feet below the earth's sur­ face, he found an iron pot. CONSIDERABLE fun was caused in Eastport, Me., by the efforts of various individuals to walk a greased pole. The pole was suspended over a lake, and most of the walkers "took a tumble" and a cold bath, to the great merriment of the crowd, before reaching the end. His Turtle Knew 111 m. J. H. Brobaska, a well-known ex- conductor of the Northern Pacific Rail­ road, is noted for his fondness for dumb animals of every description, and if lie had retained all the "pets" he has possessed at various times be would have a fair start in the way of a zoologi­ cal garden of his own. Probably the most novel of all his experiences in this line--as related by himself--recently occurred on the lake near this city. Some time last summer while stroll­ ing about Caeur d' Alene's suburbs, he came across two small turtles, lively lit­ tle fellows of the water Bpecies, and succeeded in capturing them. He placed them in his coat pocket, took them to Spokane Falls, and there pro­ vided them with a miniature aquarium in his room and commenced their do­ mestication and education. One oi them, the tutor named "Pat," and the other one he called "Pete." Pat had evidently at some time in his life been a hod-carrier, for on his back was a white spot as if caused by a drop of plaster falling upon it. As winter approached, and Mr. Brobaska was absent from his room a great portion of the time, he be­ came solicitous for the welfare of hi; proteces, and finally determined to bring them back to the Coeur d'Alenc Lake and set them free. Accordingly they were again placed in his pocket and in due time returned to their native element. A few days ago, while Mr. Brobaska and some friends were rowing upon the lake, the former espied a small turtle swimming upon the surface a short dis­ tance from them. He instantly stretched out his hand to the uncouth voyagei and called out : "Pete, Pete, come here, old boy!" but, as the summons was not obeyed, he changed the salutation to "Pat, Pat!" At the pronunciation ol the magic name the little paddlei stretched out his neck, turned his head, and, as the call was repeated, changed his course and swam fearlessly to the boat, where he climed into his master's hand, was placed in the latter's pocket, and has again become a citizen of Spo­ kane Falls. Mr. Brobaska hopes in time to find "Pete" again and recovei him in the same way.--Cceur cf Aleut City Times. Trapped Again, "Were you ever in love before, Ed­ win?" ^ "Great Cajsar," he cried in anguish, "am I never to be free of that awful question ?" • "And what is strange about it?" "AH the girls I ever loved have asked it and when I tell them yes, they an­ swer j they wouldn't have thought i< from the way I acted. And now you are laving wires to ring in the same conundrum." : > ^