Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 22 Oct 1890, p. 7

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AV TBBOtWlt ^0X VOODS. BT WIM.IAM I.TJ.E. TWM OBly a little pathway, f „ _ Bordered with marigold swiffe *W> tBe green leaves overare13u|| ^'\h! J. 7 * ; > Thann«rksof nnfrcquent foet. " f >V , The golden tint* of th« autumn ' T" .•* , Drought one of my saddest moods,-v kV ; A» I took that lonely rath way SO" >• • Through the solemn, silent woods, ' ' ' - 4 cbirp, said the wee brown lOollUt, w'1 „ As ?® hopped from limb to limb. Stealing one look at the stranger ' : V *•" * " . Then seeking the shadows dim. , • • Anon, a sound that was sweeter .'r * I'.f". _ Witli fairy-like interludes ' ' -t; - ' Cwne over iny soul like ether IS* i:. And farmed that path through the weeds jrf ^ - 'hereafter there came a vision -V ' T* ;VV ' As bright as a fabled lay, " | A maiden of wondrous beauty* , -V f 4- _ Stood right in my narrow , j*c ' She blushed, and twilight grew rosy ; sk-y". Down through the soft solitudes. ' <•.. h , I bad met my late, and knew it, f "> In the pathway through the woodfc " *" sy^ vf.'* gT, , Many happy years have blessed me Since that quiet gloaming hour. And to-day, Inside my home hearth, I dote on that woodland flower. y" • There is sunshine in her presence ti No matter what care intrudes, , *, And dear for her sake, forever, A." _ Is that pathway through the woodg^ • iJDetrett i'ree 1'retx.' 8*' FATAL FEUD. L ' ^ 5 . -- l!" "A Tragic Tale of Kentucky!*'* BY V. i. FKENCH. ' ^"••"'BPere, C«c«nr, skip to tlie barn mod Uladle Hero for me. If the old nmster wants to know where I have gone, tell him I galloped over to Rijrhmore." "Yep, Younpf Mars," Caesar tell 'im. He don't forgit what vonng Mars John tells'ira." "That's right, Ccesar. I am glad to •-.Mc you have a good memory." * Right good one, Mara John," replied the servant, as he Htarted off in haste toward the stables to obey his young masters orders. "Young Mam John," as the darky Mlled him, was, properly speaking, Join, Haulev, rfon of Reginald Hanley, owner of an imment-e piautation in the State of Kentucky. John was an only child, and would in the course of time lie the rightful owner o» ail the Hanley estates. His father, IieginaM Ilanley, was a •tern, unbending old man of 6U years. Hard-headed, obstinate, and inclined to be unforgiving in youth, added \ears had only inci eased the-e undesirable qualities in his person. In spite of these traits he was usually very just and ever ready to aid the needy. * John resembled his father in every­ thing except his unforgiving disposition. Ill this re«<pect he was like hi* mother, who had been one of the mildest of wo­ men. Bat once thoroughly rout-ed John Slid he would be a dangerous foe. Just now there was a difference of Opinion and a consequent coolness between father and son that might yet lead to serious results. It was ail about ft sweet young maiden of nineteen sum­ mers named Mabel Rogers, and, as usual, it was a case of love and opposi­ tion. Between Reginald Hanley and Frank Rogers, Mabel'* father,there was a lierce. undying feud that dated back to colonial times. Several members of each fac­ tion had fallen in maintaining what they believed to be the honor of their fam­ ilies. But there had been a truce now in the lued for over a score of years. There was only taese two families left to maintain it, and they had let it rest, though their hate was none the less bit^r for doing so. Jolm and Mabel grew up without any dfcthis foolish hate toward each other. JjVlabel had a cousin named Tom Haw- ley, who had been raised from infancy in her father's family. He was a bitter hater of the Hanlev'a and nothing but John's tact had thus far avoided a col­ lision between them. John and Mabel became acquainted at the house of a mutual friend, where they had accidentally met. It did not take them long to iind out that each loved the other, aud, though they knew the opposition they would encounter, they became engaged some three months prior to the time this story opens. By some means Reginald Hanley learned that his son was paying clan­ destine court to Mabel Rogers, and his rage knew no bounds. He called his son into his presence and, after telling him what he had heard, upbraided him with having disgraced his family's honor by allowing himself to become intimate with the low-born daughter of a Rogers. Of course John resented such lan­ guage in connection with his betrothed, anU he replied hotly. An gry words were used by both and it finally terminated by the old man giving John his choice of giving up the girl or being disinherited. Of course John choose the latter and this only incensed his father piore. and he declared the instant they were wed he would make a new will and leave all his wealth to charitable purposes. But Johu was young and full of hope and pluck, and this did not discourage him in the least. And then he did not really believe his father would go to such an extreme as to dis­ inherit him, even if he did wed Mabel. So they separated, each one bent on doing exactly as he had declared he would during the interview. Csesar, the black body-servant of John, had carried notes for him to the Rogers home-tead and there delivered them to Mabel's maid, whom Ciiwar .greatly admired, and she in turn would deliver them to her mistress and retnrn with her answers to where Caesar awaited her coiniug. By means of these notes it had been arranged that they should meet at a certain spot on the stage road and flee north across the Ohio River and there be married. Of coarse they knew they would be per- sued, but they had iittle fear of being overtaken with the start they hoped to obtain. In a tew moments after Caesar's dis­ appearance lie reappeared with the horse, and, bidding his faithful attend­ ant good-bve, John swung into the sad- din and was off. Half an hour's gallop brought him to the appointed place of meeting, but Mabel was not yet there, •O he reined in his horse in the shade of an old oak tree and. springing from the •addle* sat down at its mossy bas*. While awaiting her comiog, he fell into a sweet revery of love, an<^did not note the lapse of time nor the reproach of any one till his betrothed's voice rani? in his ears in friendly greeting. •Your thoughts must be very'pletw- ant, John, when they engross your at­ tention so closely." v John started suddenly to his feet and hastened to the side of his betrothed. v*'Iudeed they were, love; I was think­ ing of you; nothing else can engage nyr thoughts so fully and make them so sweet aud pure," and he drew her head down to his aud their lips met in an Affectionate kiss." "I was late, my love," she said, "I ^bought I oonld never slip away unseen U '!V" £ FiliC Li" from that cousin of mine. I believe he suspects that we meet secretly." > "Then there is the more reason for our speedy departure. If pursuit is made, as it no doubt it will be, as soon as our flight is discovered, we need all the start we can get to outride them," replied John. "We shall, indeed, and I fear much for the result should they overtake us. We must ride fast and far to-night." "We shall, my love," rejoined John, as he swung himself into the saddle; "to-morrow will find us in another State." "Will it?" broke in a harsh, mascu­ line voice. "Thank goodness, I am just in time to block your little game. Maltel uttered a scream of terror as she looked up and beheld her cousin Tom, seated on a hoive so mo lew yards away, angrily eying them. "1 hardly think you will interfere with us in any mauner," retorted John; "at least I'd advise you not to." "Nevertheless, I certainly shall. Ma­ bel, come with ma Are you not ashamed to disgrace your family by being seen in the company of a low-bred Hanley, Jet alone accepting him as a lover ? For shame, Mubel." "You have no authority to command me, Tom, and I shall pay no attention to your orders. As for what you have said in regard to my betrothed husband, it is false--utterly false!" "Yes, and were 1 surrounded by any other circumstances than I now am, he should answer for his w.ords. Come Mabel, it is foolish for us to be quarrel­ ing here with him when our time is so precious," and John started his horse lorward. Tom Rogers struck his horse sharply with his whip, and with a bound it placed him alongside of the one which Mabel rode. With his free hand he i rudely grasped her bridle rein, and ex- ' claimed: "Not so fast, my young lady. I said you should not go, and you shall not. I have not so soon forgotten the many kindnesses of my uticie as to permit 1 his daughter^ to disgracc herself in this fashion. "Release her! Quick!" commanded John, "else I will not be responsible for the result." "Never! She shall not go while I have the strength to prevent it" "Take that, then, and learn your place !* cried John hotly, as he brought his riding-whip heavily down over the i face of Tom Hanley. Tom uttered an exclamation of pain and rage as the blow fell. A great red welt raided up on his cheek to mark the { spot. He released his hold on Mabel's ! brid'o and exclaimed angrily. "You have struck me! My cause is | donbly just! Defend yourself the best you can, for I shall shoot you like the dog that you are!" "I shall defend myself. But first let us ride out of the presence of this lady, and I will then accord you any satisfac­ tion you may demand," replied John. "No! In her presence was the insult givon and there must it be wiped out. Draw! Draw and deiend yourself! I shall wait no longer," and the rash youth whipped a pistol from out a pocket of his liding coat. "You must not, shall not do this mad thing!" cried Mabel in terrified accents as she endeavored to force her horse between them. "Back, Mabel!" commanded John, sternly. "He would have my life; there is naught left to me but to defend it." At that instant Tom fired. Mabel saw the red blood leap out from John's breast. She uttered a shriek of horror and fell fainting from her horse. As she fell she was dimly conscious of anothei explosion ringing in her ears, then all was blackness. Ten minutes later concimisness came slowly back to her. At first she could not remember where she was or what had happened, but suddenly i-. flashed into her mind with all its horrors, aud she sat up and stared wildly about her. A short distance away she saw three riderless horses quietly feeding, and near her lay two human forms--oh, so still! Terror gave her strength, and, springing up she'hastened to her lover's side and dropped on her knees beside him. He was still alive. Tearing strips out of her dress, she bound up his wound as well as she could. Taking his hat, she hastened to a little brook near by and. getting it full of water, brought it and bathed his temples and tace. She left John for a moment, and went over to her cousin. A moment's exami­ nation satisfied her that he was beyond the need of earthly aid and she returned to her lover. A litt 'e while longer and John opened his eves and looked up at her iu blank wonder. "You must not speak," she com­ manded. "I am going for help. You must lie quite still now till I return," j and, pressing a kiss on his lips, she left I him and hurried to where the horses I were grazing. She was about to mount j her horse when she was startled by the sound of carriage wheels. It contained a friend of her family's, and his black coachman. Releasing her horse she hastened toward the carriage, whioh halted as she approached. Briefly she made him acquainted with what had happened. He at, once drove to the spot where John lay, and he and the coachman lifted the wouuded mau gently into the carriage. The dead one was carried aud laid under the shade of the same oid oak where John had waited the coming of his love. The horses were theu caught. John's was fastened behind the carriage; Mabel mounted hers, and, leading the one Tom had ridden, set out for her home. The coachman was left in charge of Tom's remains, and the carriage was driven to the Hanley mansion. Mabel soon reached home and at once uispatched servants to bring in her cousin's body. She knew that there would be a terrible time when her father iearned what had occurred, but she determined to seek him at once, tell him all and have it over with as soon as -possible. She believed that he would drive her from the house, but no wise daunted, she went in search of him. He was nowhere to be found, and a servant told her that he had gone out ier a wa.k some time before. Au hour passed, aud she saw the servants returning at a dis­ tance with her cousin's remains. Before they reached the house she saw her father join them. One of the men evidently told him in a few words what had happened, for he came rushing wildly toward the house. A moment more he was in her presence, fiercely demanding an 9xplauation of it all. She gave it as calmly as she could. The old man went mad with rage. He stwrmed, raved, cursed, and swore, and ended it all by filling to the floor in a heap, stricken by apoplexy. He was carried to his chamber and laid on i a bed, and a doctor was summoned. Rnt all in Tain. B« fcerer rallied. li a.** "yl j That night he died and there werfc I two funerals fropi th* Rogers mansion | three days later. | But what of John* meantime? His j wound was a severe one and it reqaired the best of care to keep it from proving fatal, and this he received. His father j had raved too. when he heard all, but | liis rage was not so terrible at that of i Mabel's father had been. I John was very near the grave and as j he kept constantly asking for Mabel, I the doctor advised the old man to send for her if he wished hia son to recover. There was a fierce struggle in the old mau's mind. He loved his son, but he hated the very name of Rogers. All night the battle raged in his mind, but wTlien morning came reason had won the victory, and he dispatched ̂ servant with a carriage for Mabel. She gladly came and thereafter was almost constantly at her lover's side 'till he was brought back to health. A year later there was a quiet wed­ ding at the Highmore church that made these two loving hearts one. A Zulu Sham Fight. A sham fight among the Zulus is an impressive spectacle. The dusky war­ riors are fine, muscular fellows, active, athletic aud highly trained. The rank and file, untrammeled by ornaments and dress, move about with grace and freedom. The officers--chiefs and headmen--iwear coronetsot rich ostrich feathers, which rustle freely with every movement of the body; circling their brows are rolls of tiger-skin, from which descend fringes of coarse hair; from the necks and shoulders downward to the knees their bodies are covered with the tails of monkeys and tigers and strips cf various hides strung together in girdles; their wastes are girt about with tufts of ilon's mane and cowhair. Form­ ing into line, their variegated shields are so close and regular that thev ap­ pear interlocked, while above them bristle rows of gleaming assegai heads. The foe is imaginary, as even amoug their own tribes they are roused to such a pitch of excitement that, had they any opponents, though only in mimic warfare, they would be so carried away by their feelings that at close quarters bloodshed would inevitably result. At the word of command they ad­ vance in precise order, first slowly, tlie'i quick march, then double, and with shouts of "Chila!" they charge their imaginary enemies aud th£ battle be­ comes fast and furious. Brandishing their assegais, stabbing and lungiug with strength and dexterity, each stroke accompanied by a fierce grunt of satis taction, stamping, gesticulating and gnashing their teeth, they work them­ selves into a mad frenzy, iu which their features are distorted and their eyes glare with a fierce-lust of blood, quite frightful to witness. Suddenly the word of command is given to retire, and, as victors shout­ ing triumph they march from the field. Then there appears upon the scene a horde of wild-looking, black creatures, running and leaping from place to place, screaming demoniacally, and frantically beating the earth with short, heavy clubs. These are the women, and I bey are engaged in the horrible atrocity of killing the wounded. After a sham fight the night is speot in feasting and revelry. .., „ Not Forgotten. A man with a business-liker ii# en­ tered a Chicago book store, and has­ tily summoning the proprietor, thus ad­ dressed him: "How many volumes of Longfellow's poems d^ you want?" "How many do I want!" exclaimed the proprietor, glancing up at a dusty shelf, "by George, sir, I don't want any. I have had a lot of his stuff on hand for al>out ten yoars, aud if you try to shove off any of his jabber on me you'll have mo to whip. He ii forgot­ ten." "How many copies of his 'Building of the Ship'have vou?" "I don't know and I don't care; but what difference does it make when I couldn't sell a dozen for a tuneless song? I tell you that our people don't like Longfellow and won't have any­ thing to do with him." "They may not care anything for him now, but they will care for him in a day or two; and my prediction is that within a week you will have orders for at least a thousand copies." "Nonsense," the dealer replied. "No, it's not nonsense. The Brook­ lyn School Commissioners have declared that the poet, hitherto supposed to be so gentle and pure, is now dangerously erotic." "What do you mean bv erotic?" "Oh, vulgarly passionate, lor in­ stance." The dealer sprang over the counter, seized the man and exclaimed: "You have saved me from bankruptcy. Send me 2,000 copies, quick.--Arkafisaw Traveler. Hotter than Wealth. A. born coquette,,even when plain of face,! is more dangerous thau a beauty. She inherits a better legacy than wealth, for while money gives life its cushion beauty gives its color and coquetry makes it sparkle. The coquette will go on with her conquests while there is a man left in the world with a heart in his bosom; In the school from which she graduates there are no graded courses of stvfly, no ex­ haustive examinations, no tedious memory lessons and no incessaut eternal and intolerable smashing of piano keys. Aspirants for degrees can go to the Harvard annex. Would-be grenadiers are directed to Holvoke and Columbia, and blue stockings are ad- vi.-ed to enter local high schools and universities for intellectual force. Here coquetry is fostered, and no secret is made about it, either. Square shoul­ ders are rounded into De Milo grace; flat soles are raided by judicious font coverings; high foreheads sheltered by kiss curls; harsh voices lowered a whole tone; angular elbows turned in; stiff joints loosened and every symptom of a strong mind rigidly suppressed. The pupil is sweetened, softened, aud curved. She is carefully instructed to know nothing and to do nothing that will rob a grace or mar a smile. And does she pay? Doesn't she! Drop her in the vil »ige lane or quiet promenade of her native city, and see if she is not speedily captured by the most p^orais­ ing lawyer or physician in the vicinity! tirandma'n Idea of a 91,000 SnTary. E. W. AVinter, general manager of ttife Omaha Railway, enjoys a good story as mucb as any man I know, particu­ larly if it be on himself. He tells the following tale with great gusto: "My grandmother in a dear, innocent lady, who lives up in Vermont. She was telling a visitor all about the family, one day, and when my , turn came she said, 'Now, there's Erne, he's doing right- well,' and her voice sank impressively. 'They do say he's getting as much as a thousand dollars a year, though I don't see how he can earn all that mgaeac honestly.' n--New York Star. . --S3? ilfeVEL WlKb. ' Tkm'MQnmtmt* ffPrmmmntm «f MM te an Eiucrgrncy. During the late strike on ttoft New York Central Railroad, the militia were ordered to be In readiness in case of a riot, but they were not called out. In an interview Gov. Hill said the troops were not to be cullotl upon except in case of an emergency. The emergency had not arisen, therefore they would not be ordered out. He remarked that this was the first great strike with which he had had experi­ ence. and ho did not propose to lose his head: the only point at which tliore Had then been any serious trouble was at Syra­ cuse, and there a deputy sheriff had lost his head and precipitated an encounter. The strike continued several weeks, and there was riotous action at various poiuts alomf the road, but the civil authorities were able to cope with it without calling on the inilitlu. The test of a man's real ability comes when an emergency arises which makes a hasty call on his Rood judgment and discre­ tion. The man who retains his presence of mind, maintains his equipoise and exercises sound discretion at such critical junctures, is to be relied uu aud will be put to the front. Men with level beads have the staying qualities which do not falter In the face of danger. Otis A. Cole, of KJnsinan, O.. Juno 10. 1890, writes: "In the fall of 1S88 1 was feeling very ill. I consulted a doctor and he said I had Bright's disease of the kid­ neys and lhat lie would not stand in my shoes for the State of Ohio." But ho did not lose courage or give up; he says: «t saw the testimonial of Mr. John Coleman. 100 Gregory St.. New Haven, Conn., and I wrote to him. In due time I received au answer, stating that- the testimonial h« gave was genuine and not overdrawn in any particular. I took a good many bot­ tles of Warner's Safe Cure; have not taken any for one year." Gov. Hill is accounted a very successful man; he Is cool arid calculating and be­ longs to the class that do not lose their heads when emergencies arise. A New Subntlhit* for Asphalt, Germany possesses no quarries OT TRFTTT- minous limestone suitable for street pavements. The chemists of that coun­ try have oft"n tried to tiud an artificial substitute, but never succeeded. The compositions If.eked the necessary strength and elasticity, although every possible combination of limestone and bitumen was tried.' Herr Busse, a "homistt of Linden, near Hanover, noticed that all artificial as­ phalts lacked certain gummy oils exist­ ing in the natural stone. This led him to experiment oil mixtures of finely powdered stone wrth these oils, with the result of producing a material said to be very similar to uat iral asphalt. The material is claimed to be abso­ lutely impervious to the action of tho weather. At the Government testing bureau at Charlottenburg the compress­ ive strength was found to be about 2,300 pounds per square inch. In some exper­ iments in Hanover it was found that 3 layer of th*> material two inches thick would stand a pressure of 5.1)70 pounds per square inch. The difference between this figure and that just given is proba­ bly due to the fact that the Government tests were made on centimeter cubes. About 500 square yards was laid in nanover in the summer of 1S87. This surface has worn so well that 1,670 square yards is now being laid in that city. Berlin. Hamburg and Cologne have begun a series of tests a'so. The compound is laid in a similar man­ ner to asphalt. For streets a concrete foundation eight inches thick is laid, and on this enough of tho hot powder is spread to leave a two-inch layer when well rolled. The cost of this pavement is not given, and, as the Schvtixerische BamcUung, to which we are indebted for these notes, states, the new invention must not only be as serviceable but also as cheap as the natural asphalts in order to compare with them.'--Engineering Ncivs. Tha Way Hade Ciaar. On* ot the most aertoue obstacle! to inoem la tho way of man is planted right in tha mid­ dle of the road to health. How to restore and to maintain a regular habit ol body and diges­ tion is too often a source of needless and, un­ happily, of vain inquiry. It is not necessary to inveigh against drastic purgatives. They who have used them continuously know the conse­ quence. A remedy which unites the action of a regulating medicine for the bowels with that of a tonic both for those organs, the liver and the Btomaoh, is Hoatotter's tjtomach Bitters, sanctioned by the best medical authority, and receiving daily tho indorsement of our fellow- ©ountrymen. -With this effectual, though Ken- tic, laxative at hand, it is possible to d«fy those changes of temperature productive of constipa­ tion, ai well as constitutional attacks of bil­ iousness, which beset even people naturally healthy. Malaria, dyspepsia, rheumatism, ana kidney troubles are remedied and prevented by the Bitters. Sunday with, tbe Vanderbilt*.' The Vanderbilts are all religiously in­ clined, and early on Sunday morning the children are washed and dressed and sent to Sunday school. At church time they go to their father's pew and sit there with him and their mother during the service. In the afternoon they go to Sunday school again. They are never allowed to use horses or carriages, nor to go out, except for a short walk as a mat­ ter of exercise. The day" is spent very quietly. They have an early tea, and in the twilight the children gather in the music-room while one of the ladies plays the piano or organ; Cornelius Vander- bilt, William K., Elliott F. Shepard and the ladies of the families join for au hour or two in song. The boys some­ times bring out their violins, the young, girls play their harps, and there is an hour or two of the most delicious music that one could imagine. They sing hymn after hymn, and when the twilight fades away the little ones are put to bed, to get up the next morning with the glow of health upon their cheeks, and begin their week of study and play, that shall fit them to become strong men and women, to administer wisely upon the vast fortunes that will soon be theirs.-- Ladies' Home Journal. in Qte Clu*. A student at one of our colleges on Commencement Day pointed out to a vis­ itor a row of young men sitting apart. "Those are our honor-men," he said. "The rest of us are of no account) We won r.o prizes." The head of a famous school in Kcw England once frankly said: "I confess that the school is intended for lads of ex­ ceptional ability. We have no place for dull boys." Here are two different views of the question,'and between them both the boy of average talent falls to the ground. Yet nine-tenths of the students in our schools are not "honor-men." ; School contests are. frequently cruel; the defeated majority are too often made to feel that they are inferior in their class, and will be so in the world. They should remember that the prize or hoi or is a mere side bsue of the sub­ ject; so is the success of their more able fellows. They have taken their brains to school to be tiained as a workman sharpens his tools before beginning the day's labor. Let them look to their own tools and their sharpness. The condi­ tion of the brain or tools of their com­ rades dor>s not concern them. They must consider, too, that outside of School there are prizes and lienors to be won in other fields than scholarship. Here and there a man writes a book, or paints a picture, or leads a political movement with brilliant success, and becomes famous; but the world is as much concerned to know whether the slow, commonplace man is honest and energetic; whether be is kind to his wife and family, generous to his clerks, char­ itable in his judgment. It is, after all, he and his fellows who give character to a community or a race; wlio, in the Jong run, light the battles of progress, and sustain civilization and Christianity. The boy in the middle of his class has a great work before him. Let him sharpen his tools and make ready for it. This la Maant for Ton. Tt has been truly said that half the world does not know how the other half lives. Comparatively few of us have perfect health, owing to the Impure condition of our blood. But we rub along from day to day. with scarcely a thought, unless forced to our attention, of the thousands all about us who are suffering from scrofula, salt rheum, and other serious blood disorders, and whose agonies can only be imagined. The marked success of Hood's Sarsaparllla' for these troubles, as shown in our adver­ tising columns frequently, certainly seems to justify urging the use of this excellent medicine by all who know that their blood is disordered. Every claim in behalf of Hood's Sarsaparllla is fully backed up by what, the medicine lias done and Is still do­ ing, and when its proprietors urge its mer­ its and its use upon all who suffer from Impure blood, in great or small degrees, they certainly mean to include you. • • , Forry She Wasn't » MM. > The case of the voting girl Rankin, who was recently pardoned out of the penitentiiry, prompts the irrev­ erent suggestion that nature sometimes doesn't know her business thoroughly and gets conflicting elements mixed in the same body. Agnes seems to have lived in a perpetual protest against the feminine form with which she is en­ dowed. She got into the penitentiary by stealing a horse in order to get away from home and live as a man. In the prison she frequently besought the guards to let her exchange her female attire for tho breeches, and within two weeks after bein^ pardoned she has again put on boys' clothing, clipped her hair close, aud run away from home.-- Louisville Courier-Journal. Bin System." A man professionally "funny'* in print is often a cause of perplexity to his family from his habit of picking tip "un­ considered trifles," and weaving them into a marketable web. One such pejr- son. whose note-book is never at hand, has a way of memorizing hints which is less original than amusing. He finds that no method is more satisfactory than that of fitting terms together to form a sentence, which he repeats to his wife until she remembers it. "Susan." said he one day, "remember that Walter Besaut shoot? crows and steals acorns in an old distillery." "Yes. f will," agreed Susan, "but I really must know what it means." " 'Walter Kesaiit" indicates an article on certain reforms t;» which he gave an impetus; 'shooting crows' and 'stealing acorns' will remind me of two anecdotes I heard this morning, aud the last part of the sentence indicates an article I want to look up in one of last year's papers." One thing is certain: that this jour­ nalist, should he attain a widespread celebrity, need never fear the harpy bio­ grapher. That, dauntless and untiring fiend will find no "hjjits for work" or "fugitive notes" to print for the curious eye. One clay this unconventional worker was heard repeating to himself the chance remark of a clever child. "Well," said his wife, "what can you make out of thaf'" "Oh." was the literal reply, "about three dollars." DOBBINS' Electric Soap does hot chap the hands, being perfectly pto-c. Many p-ople afflicted with Salt Rheum have beJII cured by its use. Preserves and whitens clothes. Have your grocer order it and try it nou). A PRoMtXENT Denver man got mar­ ried the other day. With somewhat un­ necessary detail the dispatc^ sent out stated that he married a Colorado wom­ an. The d^mon of mischief who is al­ ways about on such occasions caused the dispatch to read that he married a "col­ ored womam" ' Ax indignant professor of anatomy In New York denies that there is a skele­ ton in every closet--he has pawned his. •--Texas Sittings. WHEN medicine is given a child, parent* like to (eel it is a safe and proper on*. Such a remedy is Dr. Bull's Worm Destroyers. THK world's a stage, and you will al­ ways have crowded houses when yott make a fool of yourself.--Atchison Globe. FOB a disordered PILLS, liver try BEBCBAM'S A HAX'S tongue can spoil all BIS indus­ try. IT afflicted with Sore Eve?, use Dr. Isano Thompson's Eye Water. Druggists sell it *25o. THE POINT. A 1" Ask Your Friends About It. Your distressing cough can be cured. We know it, because Kemp's Balsam within the past few years has cured so many coughs and colds in this community. Its remark­ able sale has been won entirely by its genu­ ine merit, ABU some friend who has used it what lie thinks of Kemp's Balsam. There Is no medicine so pure, none so effective. Large bottles r>0c and $1 at all druggists'. Sample bottle free. "" " * 1 liey Were Honest. The other morning, as a farmer was coming into tho city by way of the Grand River road, a bag of oats slid oft his load unnoticed. A citizen stood at his gate and witnessed tho occurrence without saying a word. When he thought it safe to do so he ran out to secure the bag, but as he reachod it a second man came up. "I saw it first," said one. "No, vou didn't!" "I did!" "You didn't!" "Say, you!" both called in chorus to the farmer, and as he turned about each man went his way. c^Vs there was likely to be a fuss as to who should profit by the find, they decided to beat each other by being honest.--Detroit Free Press. Feminine Nature. Adult son--Mother, does aglrl mean to eucourage or discourage a man when she Mother--My son, thore is no need of going into details. When a girl starts out to either encourage or discourage a man, the man never has any doubt about what she means.--Street & Smith's Good News. ' A. M. PRIESTTDrugflst, Shelbyrillo, Ind., says: "Hall's Catarrh Cure give tbe beat of satisfaction. Can get plenty of testimonials, as Is cures every on* who takes it." Druggists sell It, 75c. MEN think house-cleaninc easy, but un­ less a woman uses UAPOLtO the proverb is true. "Easier rule u kingdom than man­ age a house." Ax Atchison, Kan., girl is "keeping company" in a parlor which was fur­ nished with the proceeds of a strawberry patch. 11 * From a Catholic Arch­ bishop down to the Itoorest of the Poor all testify, not only to th* virtues of ST. JACOBS OIL, The Great Remedy For Pain, but to its superiority over all other remedies, < xpress.'tl siiuF: It Cores Promptly, Permanently; which means strictly, that the paiu-atricken seek a prompt relief with no return of the pain, and this, they say, St Jacobs Oil will give. This is its excellence. uwm/ Wea!*- i That's the way you feel after one or- ; two of Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellet* have done their work. Ton feel well, instead of bilious and consti*- pated; your sick headache, dizzi­ ness and indigestion are gone. It'*- done mildly and easily, too. Toil, don't have to feel worse before yoa. . feel better. That is the trouble- with the huge, old-fashioned pitL These are small, sngar-coated, ea»» iest to take. One little Pellet's *, laxative, three to four are cathartics They regulate and cleanse the liv«r^ stomach and bowels--quickly, but. thoroughly. They're the cheapest pill, sold by druggists, because yot* only pay for the good you gek. They're guaranteed to give' satis­ faction, every time, or your money- is returned. That's the peculiar plan all Dr. Fiercc's medicines ar» sold on. .... trw Can you ask more ? * * , - MATHERS' FRIEWI1 nSGMLB BIRTKOS IP usao BGPOWA COWFIWMKWT. , ; BOOK TO "MOTHERS" MAIUN Fan. HUMTIKLD KECt LATOR CO., ATLilTl«f|A» •*U> BT AU. OBDSCIM. ' • YOU NEED NOT FJEASt: \ that people will know your tiair Is dyed tc* i y you that perfect limitation of nature^ t1 'V Tutt'sHairDya; cap No one can detect it. Tt Imparts si «ci color and fre*h life to tlie hair. Ensil: plied. .Price, fowl •iiy* 1. Office, 3!) Park Plmcc, N, inCUTC WAUTi:nt fPh the A-ra* Klip ami Tmlfc. AUtn I O ffflH I EU in* Machine. tl.SO. Everrlndr will buy at xi*h*. Our ajtsuts arf ruakinit #10to*lS- i a day. HARMON & CO.. 334 Hart St., BrcoUyn. N.I. Your Newsdealer for THE CHICAGO IJirxiER, tho BEST STOETC PiWt iu the country, liead it. ASK Instructions VRKTTTO Invent'ir, once tor hand-book Ot _ information. Jfc CO.. Washington. I). C. ASTHMASMRfo-FRS fcy aall to idlmn. Br. R. 9CH1ICTAS. 81. j nEN8ION%K^ • Sjraii Syralnhut war, lSs^udtcatiBgolaiaa, «tty« Inventor'* Guide, or How to VM>-- tain a Pa*--PATENTS^ PATRICK O'FARRELL, Att'y at Law. Wa»hin*rnJMi- MOTHERS. WETTING. Mwjli p«rpackaM,»entpo«t-paM,wlMi full tnxtructloua. Caw CUlar* and •eMIinnuiiits forte.RtamiM. AriitreM Inxtructloua. . A«tttrem OR. SNYDER. Lock Box 4S1. Chicago. ML, MENTION THIS TAME* mna iiinM ra «»iuiuiaaM, the < !•!•:• t foot remedy tor raafc -j ingthe feet >MAi 1 EK. ".sta*,;! relief for cold or perspiring i eet. t nt-jjf aMB. PEDINE, AtThurc Shoe Stores, or sent £tce~o:i receipt of 1 Sample package only a dime. IlhastngjMP, Vamphlet Krre • f - f THE I tUl.N K CO., 858 rroadway. N. Y. | • i ONE ENJOY® Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it Is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acts gently yet promptly on the Kidneys, Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys­ tem effectually, dispels colds, head­ aches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro­ duced, pleasing to the taste ana ac­ ceptable to the stomach, prompt in its action and truly beneficial in its effects, prepared only from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its many excellent qualities com­ mend it to all and have made it the most popular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50c and $1 bottles by all leading drug­ gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro­ cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FI8 SYRUP CO. SAN FRAMOJSCO, CAL, tOmVlU£. Kf, t!EW YORK, N.Y. Da. o. w. 9. «HY MENTION THIS PAPER 1W, 243 If , CMoMm --tm*.*«*• «« «ww|». ft mam VSRM TO ASRUSANIB How to T»ke Off m liing* Very often a tight ring will stick so fast to the linger that the wearer will have to go to a jewelLT to have it taken off. All kinds of rings, no matter how tight, can be easily removed with a piece of good, strong silk thread. Pass the end between the finger and tho ring, keeping the spool at the side next the linger tip. Wind the thread- around the finger toward the tip. Wind on about a quarter of an inch, and then unwind the end under the ring, takings care to push the ring forward over the wound part. As one end is unwound wind on the other end, and gradually the ring will be worked off to the tip of the finger. It is a good idea to oil or soap the thread, as the ring will slip over it-much easier than over dry thread. IT appears that there are people in Italy who derive a dismal satisfaction from being admitted to watch the process of cremation at a charge of 4 shillings a head, and it is the revenue from thi$ source that defrays the cost of cremating the poor folk of the place. KThW BBOTHEKS Warren Price CO eta. WM. W. DUDLEY, U3B OOMMISSIONEi; OF 1'ENSIONSt. Attorney at tw. Wasliiagtoa, 1>.Q& (Mention Uii» Paper.) SCALES I *iW, Disability Bill injt law. Soldiers disabled riat* the v wish jrour claim s] JIMES TAW war aw entitled. Dependent widows 4Cd_ now dependent whose socss died from effects of service are included;* li you wish jourclaim si ily and successfully pros­ ecuted. address Late Commissionsr of 1 • • • • WtSHHCTW. 1.1 A S T H M A . Popham's Asthma SpccMhk Gives immediate relJaC* It is believed to be Best ASTHMA LU*mody known to humanity. As evidence vro givtt H, ' Trial package ! KK«£. : Sold by l>ruggists. bent by mail, postp&M^., for SI per Eos. " Addreaa THOS, P( M. 2001 Ridgo Avenue. Fbilad^ White Swelling "In 1887. my son, 7 years old. had a white swelling come on his right leg below the knee, which con­ tracted the muscles so that his leg was drawn up at right angles. I considered him a confirmed cripple. Hood'c Sarsaparilla woke up his appttite, and goon pieces of bone came train the fore. Tlie discharge decreased, ttrte swelling went down, the leg btraijjht- ened out, and in a few months he had perfect use of Ilia leg. He J ow runs everywhere, and apparently is as jrell as ever." JOHN L. MCMUHIUY.Rotary Public, ItaveanwooJ. W. Va. Hood's Sarsaparilla 8*ld by all druggists. $t: six for (&. Prepared only by C. I. HOO0 * CO. Lowell, Mass. Catarrh Cured ONE CENT! Tf ymi snfTter from Catarrh, in any of its forms, it is your dutv t<yours«lf and the mean- o^ a certain i"ire before it Is too late. Tni:i you can easilv do at an expense ot one t ent for a postal card, b •'seodinif your namo aud address to Pro*'. J. A. l,awrenro. New lork, who will nen<t >oti KKEE, bv return mail, a oonv ot tlie original recipe for preparing tti" best and surest remedy ever discovered for the cure of Catarrh in all It* various stages. Over one million canes of this dreadtul. " " " " '.itriugthe p*»tnveyears bythemw may save you from the deatu toils _ , d permanent cure. Addre-s Prof. J. A. LAWliEKCt., 188 Warren Street, New Yor*. Before you buy anyhhing.&sk two questions? Do lre&lly>~ 100 . 'V Aftf* r One DoHar • w.... . . •<«#.>. • C&n 1 do ̂ without- itf ERED. may m&keyou rich: prevent you from buying SAPOLI O Its uses are many and so are Us friends; for where it is once used it is always used. To clean house without it is sheer folly, since it does the work twice as fa#t and twice as welL :SSBS35 AOT ?3XFVfcift (FATES r:2D.) Tho strongest and purest Iiyjj- made. Will a:ako the BESf Perfumed BAUD SOAP ie TWENTY minutes icithout boiling. Xt M» tho lbest fc:: cisinfecting sfnlW • closets, drain?, washing Tx>Stla% . barrels, paints, etc. PENMA. SALT IHANUF'G. CO., Gen. Agtr., Phils., Pa. • ~ DR. T. FELIX GOI ICACD S ORIESTAL CREAM, OK MAGICAE. UEAL LUMIE l,B W * gas s« tf * 1 £•' {3 3 m o fc KrecklMfc Moth an : ..'vm- bUmllfca «>\ bvav.iy, ii - .r cet^vtioa. ft. tsc vttr?, *nd U tfc- htrui: ,-*4 «<f t&stflfc,. to be -w Hi* pnafr trly Ace^fc BO $&u!»r Dv*. I» A. £*& Ife. too 4"!A*. ro* a- *- U1 m*- &M, S •GrtW-maV ON##" ofatt th-.s Skis tra^- t'er saltf ^ 1 uiu F*»cy tiU' 1. Cicadas* ani l.*:-:*.. 1EIU). T. HOPKINS. PivpT, SI Great Jones SI- Jf. y * WEAK MEN < ! WOMEN these quesMo but"they will neve Wa-tlss YUciliiZ-- K.*i3:iu&t€<i N en a; tit i •in Private *t:«l ** i>»nca«c* I JUT U < S' IJK <A* v . { \ v r « » YR \nv T-.-P^RIEAC^ . IlieiLOWi: .Ut:i>U'AL lNSTlTl TK,Vri».tv4,l-®««^ I prc*crlbc ,\ad fully Mi dorse Rig as tae specific for t certtancttifc* this diabase. * Q.H.BiCiHAHA3!.H. Dw.. , Amsterdam. S. Vi •: We !>»•;?• s-iUt Big © Ie** xn&uy years, and it baA, given the best of faeUo'i. U. Ii. 1>YCHE Jfc CO..i_ v* Cbtcao*, IML - -- Itl.Ott. SoldbyDruggWit;;^ t\n, % : Ccrttta c\ jr. r. • ; WRITING TO ADVKRTt «J«H MBWtfca

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