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•' A ) 1 McHBNRY, e? *gf?I*itul«rkr VAN StYKE, Editor and PiiMMMr. ILLINOIS. % TAR AHUM ARE KUNNER. BT xbnebt M'OAFFET. rawhide sandels on hi* IWt, A bronze-red figuro-full of grace, Inured alike to cold and boat - He stands the flower of his racfe; J6foa<3 in the chest, with lower limb ff.fiyimuotrieal and hard and slim, ;With breech-clout steejwd in somber AJM sp.{ • .wOlded securely round his thighs; - fe*. v gtnd loosely on his massive breast ;A necklace rude of shells is hung-*. ™ By some cliff-dwelling maiden Btr|aj| ; lAod by his coarse, black hair oavessod^j/ yHis hair, from whence his dark eyesgOt J . The rutsner, Candelario. ^*ar in a savage vastnesn wild He makes his home the cliffs among Where chaos lies in fragments piled And chides the thunder's muttering tongue, Inhere the red lightning's Augers reach All sudden through the storm-cloud's breach; And where the hurricane's fell "Through mountain timber sweeps its pith; here upon the deer's faint trail .He follows on from day to day, From ruddy dawn to evening gray, Jg'er cliff and chasm, sand and shale, Till with hie knife he slays the roe; «he runner, Candelario, A hundred miles a Bay to him : Is nothing--as with dog-trot {HUM 9L« takes dejmrture stanch and grim, / , Nor st ops nor falters in the race-- Aprimnl athlete he. who goes Where the swift torrent downward flows; mcross the steeps in level iiigjft, mdowK the glens and up the lieight-- The weary wolf will seek reposa, V: And deer shall in their covert bed ^ Lie down and rest, while overhead The crew his flagging wing* must close, Yet onward speeds von speck below; fte runner, Candelario. * •^•Independent. * WHAT IS A CARIBOO? BY JUAQl'lK MILLER. Col. Gray, a large bodied and one- l(yed lawyer of Canyon City, neither Would nor could tell the truth. He *sed to say that he hoped to be a great lawyer some day and so must keep in Constant practice. And yet for all, jolly old Francis E. Gray, of Apalachicola, was not really a Bar, not a malicious liar, at least, nor Was he entirely bad at heart, large as lie was. • We were all sitting one night in Uncle Johnny Fennesy's saloon--dear, old fJncle Johnny, who now keeps the : IPhoenix, over in Oakland, and does not look a day older than he did then-- right along. Wo called the poor, limp and lame and sick-looking fellow Spruce --after his beer. But he was not Bpruce, precisely, by a good deal; for he had a cancer right above the heart., where you can't amputate. Now, that one-legged nigger in Apalachicola " Hare eagerly treated this time, a» the Colonel ooughed and wiptd his glasses, and. after wiping his mouth, lA, to the delight of all, leaped right into the Cariboo mines and went off with his sad frtory about poor, stricken old Spruce: "The day after we got into the Cari­ boo mines I went straight off to find a doctor for poor old Spruce, although I knew, or at least I thought I knew, that Spruce would never leave the Cariboo mines alive. Here the kindly old Colonel coughed again and taking off his glasses, by some inadventure he this time did not polish the one glass in the gold rim but lifted the corner of the handkerchief unobserved, as he supposed, to a mois­ tening eye. " Well, the doctor said there was just one possible hope. The doctor was' a great man in his day. Dead now. But do you know that he had the greatest theory about curing caucer and such­ like things that ever was ?" Th^ member from Shasta wanted to learn, and even the eager and enquir­ ing nose of John W. Whally forgot its hot scent of the Cariboo and poked its pugnacious self straight up under the gold-rimmed spectacles. » * It was this: Hi* theory was that the earth, our common mother earth-- the earth, which purities and restores all things, is the one great and only materia medica. If a man had a limb broken, if a man was crushed almost to death in the mines, if one gambler shot another gambler and did not kill him quite as dead as he should, this doctor had but one great remedy for all--the earth. He would prop up a man in the warm, moist earth and keep him lying there--warm and moist and moist and warm--till he either died or got well; and I tell you that more des­ perate cases came out all O. K. in - Car­ iboo than at any other place outside of -- of--Apalachicola." Uncle Johnny Fennesy treated this time and the Colonel went on, btit was very serious as he proceeded with the final account of his poor, helpless old friend Spruce, for it would seem that he had become really attached to the dying man. "Of course the doctor did not have room in his small hospital or earth deep fchen in stepped spruce and dapper! John W. Whalley, another lawer, brush-j ®nou8h for 1119 h,ial experiment and so, log the falling snow from cff his shoul-' warm weather had [suddenly set ders and shaking a newspaper previous ' *n aD(^ there was plenty of deep and *> folding it up and putting it in his I m°18t and warm earth UP on the hiU" •focket. He had perhaps been in his ! "}de; _1 * ™l!® ^J0!6 ^w.n an4. near ; ©ffice reading about the Cariboo up in the Cariboo mines and may be he only Wanted to smell out a bit of business of lome sort, for a shrewd, pushing and All-alive man was "Whally. He is now the fragrant and pleasant pines, it was decided to try the experiment there. Of course there were plenty of the beys eager to help. There was Jakey Wil­ liams, who killed Rogers in Yreka and one of the very many very rich men of j timselHiilled by^ Greaser while f ortlaud, Oregon, but his aristocratic, British nose has lost none of that push *nd pugnacity which led him to the >ld, old days to continually ask and ask ftcd ask. 3 "What is a CaribooV Til tell you, Whally, what a Cariboo is. Here, take <;§his chair. You look cold. (There! jisfc cock your heels up on the Marshal of Idaho; and there was Dave English, hung at Lewiston; Alex Car- tar, hung at Helena; Boone Heliner, hung; at Spokane--all good fellows enough, you know, in their way, and willing to help the helpless chap. Well, we carried old Spruce up thetre under the pines on a litter one warm and pleasant twilight and laid him down j n round and round on the table at ©Wsoy by the side of Ike Hare, "yes, ve heard you say you came from Apa­ lachicola and, do you know, I've heard people say that you always put in that Jong word Ai>-a-lach-i-co-la merely to fcatch your breath when you forget what to say next, but what I want to know about is the Cariboo of the Cariboo mines." "Jost what I was a-coming to--just I * what I was a-coming to. Have another, Hare?" r Yes, Hare would have another. For |>fHare had been a member from Shasta County, where he still resides, and as »the malaria had been bad at Sacra- jnento-- But we must go on about 3 the Cariboo. Gray had taken off his one-eyed gold - *pectac!e3 and, after wiping it per- I*. , ' 1 .iistently and coughing slightly, as was |r * $ ,• liis immemorial custom, he went on: jf'f "? "There was an oltl, one-legged barber I*; /../ r lit Apalachicola when I was a boy that 0: j^Y • , tot married--niggers, you know--and !Sx the first time I went there to be shaved he told me that he had started to Balti- ~ more with his bride. Yas, sah! and with a hard and heavy jerk of his razor •>* *>n the big leather strap between each word, he said: 'Y'as--sab! Stat--ed #o Bal--ti--moon my wed--in--tow--er, ifoun er walk--in bad and cum back!" "Well, what on earth has a one-legged negro of Apalaohicola on a wedding 1 tour to do with the Cariboo of the Cari- r jboo mines?" ^ Col. Gray looked irritated at Whally |»nd closed his mouth.- But the member . Jrom Shasta opened it with hot Sootch ;»U round, and when his mouth was well ;/ opened in this way it was sort of ar- ' tenia u S|v_. "We left Apalachicola," the Colonel ; went on, after once more wiping his ^^jglasses and coughing slightly as j* ^".jusual, "in a whale-boat and rowed right r . through the Caribbean Sea, by the Can- ,*•- nibal Islands and Ilob'son Crusoe's ^Islands--and--and--after we had left Apalachicola--" • *€'v•>.- "And--and got to San Francisoo on the way to Cariboo," said Whally eag­ erly. ¥ ̂ "Exactly. As 1 was saying, after we M had left Apalachicola and got to San v Francisco--you didn't go to Frazer River, Hare, eh? Well, then, you were §4"? - not *n ^an ^rancisco when I got there •Sfr\V from Apalachicola." ' i "But you are a long ways from Apa- H lachicola now, Col. Gray," said the member from Shasta, who also wanted to know all about the Cariboo. "But you should have been in San Francisco at the time of Frazer River R?k Phew! And old Bully Wright! Bully •wjk:: Wright was the owner of the ship line m t. between San Francisco and Frazer • -• • Hiver. Well, sah, in San Francisco they were wanting to hang Bully Wright for not taking them up to Frazer fe.r River fast enough; and when I got to '" Frazer River they were wanting jgjV.y' hang him for not taking them back t San Francisco fast enough! Fact, . Yes; bitters, barkeep, but sugar. Here's to ye, Whally 1" "jfiid here's straight to the Cariboo, Colonel." "Straight to the Cariboo country, now, but on the way Up, with our blankets on our backs, we came to a poor fellow by the trail who had made what he called spruce beor. 'Och!' I said, 'look here, are you broke ?' He shook the two quarters together and •aid, 'No, not now.' 'Well,' said I 'roll up your blankets and come along, for some fellow will kill you if you try to keep this thing up.' And so he came stove and I'll tell you all about the \there; for he wa9 awfnl weak by this Cariboo. Ybu see. I came from Apa-, *ime> and we ali knew Pretty well that lachicola by the way of the Caribbean i would tax even dear, old mother and so I know all about the Cariboo." ' 641,111 to do much for him now- The "Yes," said Whally, taking his feet I doctor, who stood by the case to the wn from the stove and stirring a tea-1 L*8*» came along with us; and as he and 1 I followed along behind the litter, a lit­ tle out of the hearing of poor old Spruce, he told me that he could not live much longer as things were going on with them. It was a desperate case, you see, and required a desperate rem­ edy. "I think it was Boone Helmer that dug the pit. A great, big, handsome fellow from Texas, he was, with a neck like an Appolly--from which, I suppose, we have the classical word appoplexy, andv pfrobably, appolinaris water. D%*hn bad to hang a man like that. However, h$ did some good anyhow; yes, he did, and dug the pit deep and wide and roomy, so that when we stood poor old Bruce down in it up to his chin, and held him up by the arms and shoulders as we sifted the warm, soft earth in around him he was perfectly comfortable. He beckoned the doctor with his head to come to him. And when the doctor went up and got down on his hands and knees to hear what he wanted to say. why, old Spruce told him that he hadn't felt so comfortable since he came to Cariboo. "The doctor told us what he said and then the sick man called the doctor down on his hands and knees again and this time he told him to take the boys down to the saloon and treat them and that as soon as the sap began to run in the sprucc branches again he would be up and out a-making of spruce beer and pay the bar-keep and the doctor too. "Well, this pleased the boys might­ ily; not that they were so all-fired mean as to care for a treat, but they all wanted to see the man get well. They all felt a sort of responsibility about it for him, and when they filed past that queer little old head away down there in the ground, with the long gray beard a-wallowing in the warm earth, they kind of sort of stopped like, as if they, maybe, wanted to shake hands. But of course they couldn't shake hands, for his hands Avere held straight down --away down in the deep warm bosom of our dear old mother earth. So they all went on by, slowly and solemn like. Yes, it was sad. I--I--no, no more, thank you, Hare. I--I--" But let us hasten on over this, for I find it grows too serious. The old Colonel coughed longer this time than usual, and it seemed tnat he would never quite get done turning his head away around ^nd fooling with his hand­ kerchief as if polishing that one glass in the gold rim of his spectacles. At last he went on slowly: ' "The boys had their treat and then, as the doctor went out, they all settled down to a poker game. The doctor told me he was going back to sit up with old Spruce aud watch the progress of his case. And as the boys wanted one more at the poker table,and as there was a vacant place at the table for him and as they had been awful kind to old Spruce for him, why, I--I Bat down and toward daylight I held four kings and an ace and Boone Helmer had a runnin' flush. Now, a runnin' flush Apalachicola--" "But the man at Cariboo?" cried Hare. "Yes, and the Cariboo, too ?" shrieked Whally. * "Did the man get well?" eagerly asked honest and symf athetic old John Fennesy. Again the handkerchief and again the prolonged cough and the Colonel^ in a soft, low voice, finally went on : "The doctor, it seems, was sent for to sew up a man's bowels--been cut with a bowie-knife down at a deadfall five _ miles below--and met the man coming after him just as he stepped out ti naVi iiSr f 'i - of the saloon where we sat at the little game." "And was tli£ experiment of ouring cancer with earth really A success again urged Fennesy. » Again the oough and the handker­ chief and, at last, the Colonel said sadly: "Woli, you see, Uncle John, we didn't get to try it fully--didn't get to give it a fair chance. Still, I think on my soul, if anything will or can cure a desperate case of cancer like that was, only the warm, soft mother earth can do it." "But the man? Next morning? How was he?" almost shrieked tho member from Shasta. "Eaten off--gnawed right dowu in the ground to the shoulders!" "What! What in-!" Whally had jumped up and brought his doubled fist down with a bang on the table till the empty tumblers bobbed and clinked and huddled up together as if they had been frightened almost to death. " What in hell, I say, could have done that?" "Why, sah, it was a dom Cariboo! When I was lost in Apalachicola " "Oh, curf=e Apalachicola and your damned Cariboo and you, too!" And the Hon. John Whally (he is a member of the Oregon Senate, now, J believe) whisked out of that saloon so fast that his coat-tail was like a whip- cracker.--Francisco Wasp. Th» Jfeginnlng of Quarrels. "Its enough to provoke a saint!" said an impetuous husband when dressing in a hurry, after carefully twisting all the studs into the bosom, on finding the col­ lar button gone. "Why don't you see to it that the loose buttons are fastened, and those missing sewed on?" Well, I'm sure it's a very small matter and you needn't be making such a terri­ ble fuss about it!" "Small matter, indeed! So a cinder or a grain of sand in the eye, is a small matter; and next thing to having a splin­ ter in your eye, is having no button on one's shirt." "You can desist from your raging non- Bense," was the response.' So the wrathy husband, finding this second retort from his irritating wife too much for his forbearance, fliqgs his linen in the face of his spouse, and thus -i mor­ tal quarrel is inaugurated, and ends by their not speaking for six months, and his having to sew on the missing buttons, without the satisfaction of letting off his wrath through that Safety-valve, a scold- tongue. Now, young married people, in the midHt of their honey-moon, or the be­ trothed, while experiencing all that ely- sium of self-abnegation incident to the early plighting, will put all this down as ridiculous in a superlative degree, and among the impossible possibilities; but they will find out, ere long, that much more happiness is to be fastened in with the well-fastened bnttons, than by ewn the deeds of brayawr and heroism which are offered to few. and than can be done only on great and rare occasions. Who, when his wife is going over a precipice, or drowning, would not rush to the rescue, regardless of personal peril! Or what wife, when her husband is brought in terribly wounded from a railroad accident, or when stricken with typhoid fever, would not watch and ex­ ercise patience, as only a woman can do, sinking out of sight all her own personal case and convenience in the depth of her anxiety and affection ? A great ocean steamer, whose power-' ful engines could drive her, with scarcely a break upon her speed, in the very teeth of a gale, was brought to a long and dangerous pause in mid-ocean by a handful of sand thrown by a mischevous boy into the trunion-plate of the shaft. Grinding, heat and threatened fire were the result, besides the long delay, and the aggravated tossing of a ship upon the waves. OU Ponds In the Gulf. Between the mouth of the Missis* sippi River and Galveston, Tex., ten or fifteen miles south of Sa­ bine Pass, is a spot in the Gulf of Mexico which is commonly called the "Oil Ponds" by the captains of the small crafts which ply in that vicinity. There is no land within fif­ teen miles, but even in the wildest weather the water at this point is com­ paratively calm, owing to the thick cov­ ering of oil which apparently rises from the bed of the gulf, which is here about fifteen to eighteen feet beneath the surface. This strange refuge is well known to sailors who run on the small vessels trading between Calcasien, Orange, Sabine, Beaumont, and Gal­ veston. When through stress of weather they fail to make harbor else­ where, they run for "the Oil Ponds," let go the anchor and ride the gale in safety--this curious spot furnishing a good ilfustration of the effects of "oil upon a troubled sea." - 'NOT FIT FOR GREENS." to to t>y no The Inside of Italian 1,1 le. A good deal of the romance which used to attach to "Sunny Italy" and its inhabitants has faded away, since we have come to know them better; and especially since the advent of large num­ bers of them to our country. Still we should hardly be prepared to credit some of the facts reported by recent writers of that country. For instance, it is said that in Italy 336 village com­ munities have no graveyards. The dead in them are put away in primitive church vaults. Two hundred thousand Italians live in 37,000 dangerously un­ healthy cellars; 9,000 in little cells hewn out in the rocks. In 1,700 com­ munities, bread is a luxury tasted only on holidays; 5,000 communities are so poor that they consume no meat at all; 600 are without physicians; 104 are con­ stantly afflicted with epidemic fevers; 110,000 have chronic skin diseases; six­ ty-three in every hundred can neither read no; write.--Good Housekeeping. Valuable Study. The Chemical News says: "Chem­ istry should be studied as an intel lectual training. It teaches us the im­ port ant arts of close and accurate obser­ vation, and drawing correct inferences from the facts recognized." "These important arts can never be mastered by the most prolonged study of classics and mathematics." "Hence, if we re­ gard education as intellectual discipline rather than the mere absorption of number of facts, we shall find some one of the branches of natural and physical science absolutely essential and indis pensable." "And under most circum­ stances chemistry will prove the most appropriate subject." Wash Your New Socks. A pair of new socks, fr^sh from the store, feel very comfortablejto the feet,' but the man who wears them before (they are washed makes a mistake. Hosiery should alw'ays be washed be­ fore being worn, as the washing shrinks the threads and makes the socks wnar as long again, besides preventing the feet from being injured by the coloring. When put on before washing they stretch out of shape and can never be restored to the original, Louu Globe-Democrat. Borne Anecdotes of Tea Drinking in Olden Times. There have been many anecdotes con Corning the ignorance of our'ancestors about the way to use tea--relating how they cooked it this way or that before they found out that it was for a bever­ age. The stories may be true, or they may be false; but this actually occurred in a^ neighboring town. Among the families living there, before the Revolu­ tion, was a cetain David C. and hi; line, quick-witted wife, Sarah. It happened upon a time that he went on a visit to the first settler of his name in another part of the State, near the seaboard. This relative, who was in communication with aoi^captain?, had some tea, and he made David a present of a package to take home to Sarah. Now, man-like, David had forgotten to ask how it was to- be prepared for use, and as neither his wife nor any of the neighbors had ever seen any before, there seemed no way out of the dilemma but to go to work and cook it the best way they could think of. . This stately lady, as such she was, of "ready wit," as the history says (and "ready wit" was an inheritance in her family),found her­ self at utter loss. Her "wit" failed her in this emergency; she was baffled and beaten by a package of dry, rolled leaves of Hyson tea. But she decided that it must be for "greens," and so put the whole in> kettle and taUed it, and both declared "it was notf fit*-for that even." J Their posterity can afford to laugh at the remembrance of this worthy couple as they ladled out the greenish-black mess, and, after tasting it, trfhd to sip a little of the acrid liquid in which it had been boiled. One of the same family was among the first to bring the Irish potato into the State. The brown tubers were a great curiosity and perplexity to his neighbors, who could not imagine how they grew; whether on a bush, like ber­ ries; on a vine, like the pumpkin; on a stalk, like Indian corn; or on a tree, like apples. But he settled the matter by giving the mode cf operation and the result, in this concise explanation, which is the gist of potato culture, told in a way unsurpassed by any modern agri­ culturist: "Dig a small hole in the ground, put in a potato, cover it up, and in the fall dig the hole open, and you will find more potatoes from the pne put in." The tea story brings to mind an inci­ dent toid by a friend--a foreigner-- about an experience had during the first year of her residence in this country. She said: "One day our next-door neighbor sent us in a watermelon. It was actually the first one we had ever seen, except in the market, and, being strangers we did not like to ask what it was, and how to prepare it. Well, we thanked the servant who brought it, said it was fine one, and acted as if we had been used to that sort of fruit or vegetable, whichever it was, all our lives. When we were left by ourselves we began to wonder how in the world it was to be eaten. The servant had Baid her mistress was anxious to get it to us in season for dinner. Of course, then, we| reasoned^ it was something that must be cooked. We pondered and we discussed the matter, but lucky for us, we were too proud to ask any­ body. Finally we concluded to treat it as we did egg-plant; so we cut half of it into thin slices--O! there were so many of them, and they were so dripping wet! dipped them in batter and fried them! --that is, we tried to. And, O! my dear! can you imagine the result? We tried to eat them! Imagine that, can you? We did not breath a word about the matter to anybody, but went out in the evening and threw the stuff into the creek. And that is the history of our first watermelon." Thin is a good place for an amusing occurrence that was witnessed at a hotel table one day: A fine-looking man had ordered coffee, and it was brought to him at the same time with the desert. As he took his cup he saw the waiter place before him a mold of ice cream. He instantly plunged his teaspoon, in and transferred a generous quantity to his coffee, thinking it was some special preparation of cream prepared for that very use. That, however, was not so strange as the case of the lady who was desirous of doing what she called "tony" things, without knowing how* She found that it was quite fiashionoble among her neighbors one summer to have iced tea, and, concluding that she would not be behind them in furnishing a refreshing beverage, said that the next time she had guests she too would have iced tea. She soon gave a little party, and great, was the amazemeAt ana inward amuse­ ment of her guests to see her as she served the cups of scalding tea, drop into each a small lump of ice.--Good Housekeeping. The Jnm bo of Locomotives. A monster locomotive, the heaviest ever built in America, stood on the Reading Raiiroad tracks at Pennsyl­ vania avenue and Fifteenth street yes­ terday afternoon. Early next week it will be shipped to the St. Clair Tunnel Company, for which the baldwin Loco­ motive Works have built four of the same kind. The monster of steel had steam up and had been tested. It looked if, when once started, nothing could stop it on its way. This huge locomotive is the heaviest ever turned out by the Bald­ win Locomotive woi&s; the heaviest ever built in America, and, bo far as shown by the oompany that built it, the heaviest single locomotive ever built in the world. Each of the four locomo­ tives is expected and guaranteed by the builders to haul a load of 760 gross tons of cars and lading up a grade of 105 feet to the mile. This is equivalent to a train of twenty-five or thirty loaded freight oars. The St. Clair Tunnell Company, for which the locomotives have been built, controls the line of railroad running through the tunnell under the St Clair River. It is near the junction of the St. Clair River with Lake Huron, and connects the towns of Port Sarina, On­ tario and Port Huron, Mich. The line of railroad which runs through the tun­ nel is the connection of tlie Grand Trunk Railway of Canada with its line in Mich­ igan. The tunnel is 6,000 feet long, and the approaches are 1,950 and 2,500 feet respectively, making a total length of over two miles. These approaches have a grade of 105 feet to the mile, and a very heavy locomotive is required to haul heaw trains through the tunnel and up the grade of the approrches. The locomotives are of the class known as the tank locomotives, and have no tender. The tanks are on both Bides of the boiler, and their capa­ city is 2,000 gallons. The space for the fuel, which is anthracite coal, is on the footboard. There are five pairs of driving wheels, which are the only wheels and they are 50 inches in diame­ ter. The wheel base is 18 feet 3 inches. The cylinders are 13 inches in diameter and have m stroke of 28 inches. The boiler is of steel, f of an inch thick, and is 6 feet 2 inches in diameter. There are 280 flues. 2£ inohes in diame­ ter and 12 feet 6 inches long, ^haitre box is 11 feet long and feet wide. The cab is placed on top of the boiler and midway between its ends. There are two sand boxes, one on the boiler and one on the back, so that sand can be placed on the rails whether the locomotive is running forward or back­ ward. There is a powerful air brake which operates on eaoh driving wheel. There are headlights and steps at both entjfi like those of a shifting engine. The locomotive will run on 100-pound railB. The number of the one com­ pleted is 598 and the consecutive construction number given by the builders, 11,586. In working order the weight is 195,000.--Philadelphia Led' V er. , . All That Was Left to 0<v The village magnate was out for a stroll looking over his possessions,when a wandering tramp, not knowing who he was, approached, and in a masterful tone aaked him for a dime. "I have no dime with me, but if you will come down to the town, and go to my banlc with me I will give you a dollar." "Your bank?" asked the tramp, in amazement. "Yes, I own the only bank in the city." • "Seem«* to be a pr.etty lively town. Has lots of manufactories." "Yes, they all belong to me." "They do? That makes you able to give better prices to the farmers around here for their products, I suppose ?" "Oh, all the farma belong to me." "Th6y do? Then I suppose there is a good deal of stuff shipped out of here by rail ? Your freights must be con­ siderable?" "Oh, no. You see I own all the rail­ roads." * "Well, do tell? I never noticed that in the papers from here." "No. All the papers belong to me." "And none of tho ci^y corres­ pondents here have ever sent it out by telegraph?" "No. I control all the telegraph lines touching here." "Well, you are in luckl With all the manufactories in your hauds, and all the farm products at your command, you don't have to buy anything but clothing and prepared foods, I suppose ?" "No. I have a mortgage on the only clothing house in the place, and control two-thirds of the food syndicate that sup­ plies the neighborhood." Well, I be blarsted ! You ought to be able to sit in church and listen to the preacher with a good conscience every Sunday." "But you see, 1 am the preacher." "Seems to me that this here amazing town would be visited by tourists to see it?" Would be, but the tolls are so high. I own all the turnpikes." The tramp stopped short. Varied emotions chased each other across his visage. Then he gasped meekly: "Say, Mister ?" Well, what is it?" Can--can 1 live a little while around here if* I don't disturb anything ?"-- Light. • • / A Good Samaritan. There was a big crowd gathered on Cadillac square, where an old. woman with white hair was raving like a ma­ niac. "Drunk as a biled owl," jeered a man in the crowd. "You ought to be ashamed of your­ self," called another. "Muzzle the old witch," suggested another voice. "Ring for the hurryup wagon," cried one of the men. Some one ran with officious haste to ring up the patrol and at the same mo­ ment a well dressed young man who was passing, stopped to inquire into matters. , "She's an old offender," somebody told him; "she's been sent up so often it won't hurt her to go up again." "Oh, sir," pleaded the old woman, "don't let them run me in. I took a drop too much to drown the misery, and make me'forget, but I'm sober now, as God is my judge." The young man tuVn^d to a hack that was passing and said a few words to the driver. Then he bundled the old woman in and told the hackman to take her to the address she gave. The hack started away just as the pa­ trol wagon dashed up with two stalwart officers seated in it. The iucident was over, and the youcg man who had cared for a woman of the people as tenderly as if she had been his own mother disappeared in the crowd, but here is a pod bless him, to follow him wherever he goes .--Detroit Free Press. Missed His Calling. The world is full of people who, if we take their word for it. would now be rich or famous only that they are so un­ fortunate as to have missed their true vocation. Baron Rothschild one day entered an old curiosity shop to buy some paint­ ings. The dealer was all attention. He brought out all his rare old pictures, dusted thera, and set them in the best light "Look at this Rembrandt; quite au­ thentic, Monsieur le Baron." "Authentic, you say? You have got there a Raphnel of tlje first style, which is a good deal more authentic." "Oh! oh!" said the dealer; "why, you are a connoisseur, Monsieur le Baron." "I?" observed Rothschild with a sigh; "if I had gone into the old curi­ osity business I should have made a for tunc."--London Journal. The I'oetry of Pain. A lady was reading poetry to hef hus­ band the other evening. "Now, here is a couplet," she said, "whose sentiment I have always be­ lieved in," and she read: "But spite of all the criticising elves. . Those who would make us feel, mast feel them­ selves." "Mamma?" interrapted Johnnie un­ expectedly and inquiringly. "Yes, what is it?" she said tenderly. "Is that why you say it always hurts you as much to spank your darling lit- boy, as it hurts him?" Barrels from Solid togi. A core saw, intended for boring out barrels from solid logs, was recently completed at Taunton, Mass., for a company in Lacrosse, La. The saw is made of wrought iron, cylindrical in shape, and steel cutter teeth are dis­ tributed about its edge. It was ex­ pected that the saw would cut a barrel per miuute, and during a trial of the first machine a core 10| inches in di­ ameter and 2l£ inches long was cored out in thirty seconds. A mill for the manufacture of barrels by these ma­ chines is to be built in Louisiana. In spite of all that can be ««M in favor of Adam and Eve, they were un­ doubtedly a shiftless pair. The OliMTsrjr of MafaofMy. . The discovery of the beautiful tad costly timber known as mahogany was purely accidental. The first mention made of it was by Sir Walter Raleigh, who used it in 1597 at Trinidad for re­ pairing his ship*. About the begin- ning of the eighteenth century a small quantity of it was taken to England by a West India captain named Gibbons, who sent a few planks to his brother, a physician residing in London. This gentleman, at the time of - the receipt of the wood, was having a house built, and placed the planks in the hands of the carpenters. 1 hey attempted to cut it, but because of its hardness very quickly threw it Mide. The doctor expostulated, but the workmen remained fixed in their determination to haye nothing to do with the lumber which so successfully resisted their attempts to saw it. The planks were then taken to a cabinet­ maker named Wollaston, who was di­ rected to make a candle-box with a por­ tion of the wood. The siAne objection was advanced by this workman, but, be­ ing a persevering individual, he per­ sisted, and finally made the box. When polished, it so outshone anything pre­ viously made that it very quickly be­ came an, object of curiosity, and the beople flocked to see it. »As a consequence the wood became quite popular, especially after a portion of the physician's treasure was em­ ployed in the construction of two bu­ reaus, one for himself and the other for the Duchess of Buckingham. These specimens of cabinet-work caused the rejected wood to become a prominent factor in the construction of luxurious pieces of furniture. Thus Wollaston was amply rewarded for his persever­ ance in fashioning it into a candle-box, and his name, together with that of the physician and his nautical brother, be­ came inseparably connected with the history of the introduction of this wood into oivilized lands. Language of Umbrellas. There is a language of umbrellae, as of flowers. For instance, place your umbrella in a rack and it will indicate that it will change owners. To open it quickly in- the street means that some­ body's eyei is going to be put out; to shut it, that a hat or two is going to be knocked off. An umbrella carried over a woman, the man getting nothing but the drip­ ping of the rain, indicates courtship. When the man has the umbrella and the woman the drippings it indicates marriage. To punch your umbrella and then open it means, "Idislike you." To swing your umbrella over your head means, "lam making a nuisance of myself." To trail your umbrella along the footpath means that the man behind you is thirsting for your blood. To carry it at right angies under your arm, signifies that an eye is to be "lost by the man who follows you. To open an umbrella quickly, it is said, will frighten a mad bull. To put a cotton umbrella by the side of a silk one signifies "exchange i* no robbery." To purchase an umbrella means MI am not smart, but honest." To lend an umbrella indicates "I am a fool." To return an umbrella meanB --well, never mind what it means, no­ body does it! To carry an umbrella just high enough to tear out men's eyes and knock off men's hats signifies "I am a woman." To press an umbrella on your friend, saying, "Oh! do take it; I had much rather you would than not!" signifies lying, to give a friend half of your umbrella means that both of you will get wet. To carr.f it from home in the morning means, "It will dear oft"-- Cricket. I'he Bands Oriental. The whole Banda Oriental and its in­ habitants strike one as being more re­ fined, more amiable, and more gentle than the land and people of the sister republic. Nevertheless, in the country everything is very primitive, and one is astounded at the rough way in which many of the rich estancieron live on their estates in the simplest and most comfortless houses. These men own leagues and leagues of land, and they live like the patriarchs of old, with two or three generations of children under the same roof and eating at the same table, in the old-fashioned creole way. Such men, as may well be imagined, are not progressive; they continue their pastoral industry in an indolent, apa­ thetic manner, leaving to nature almost everything except the operation of sell­ ing and receiving the money; and, above all, they can not be persuaded to subdivide their land and let them out for farming. Uruguay is being kept back chiefly by the conservativeness of the creole landholders, who possess im­ mense estates that are inadequately de­ veloped. They law of inheritance and the obligatory subdivision of property amongst the heirs will modifiy this state of affairs in the course of time, and these vast holdings will be gradually broken up and developed in detail. The pro­ cess, however, will necessarily be slow, and meanwhile, as the State owns no lands, the increase of immigration ean only be slow in proportion.--Harper's Ma g azine. Relief for Rheumatism. "This information," Baid a well-known physician to me, "may save man^lives; at any rate it will prove an invaluable boon to people suffering from rheuma­ tism in any shape or form. Rheuma­ tism, as probably everybody knows, is caused by acidity of the blood. It should never be neglected. This remedv, as I know by long practice, is very efficacious, and it is as simple as it is powerful. "Here it is," he added. "When a rheumatic twinge is experienced, the patient should proceed to a drug store and buy fifteen or twenty-five cents worth of oil of gaulteria (oil of winter- green), put t^n , drops on a lump of sugar, place it in the mouth, permit it to dissolve slowly and swallow it. This should bo repeated at intervals of two hours until the last vestige of the mal­ ady has disappeared. In the meantime take a dose or two of Rochelle salts. "That," Baid the physician, "is all there is to it, but if taken as I have prescribed, it will save suffering hu­ manity many dollars in doctors' bills, to say nothing of pains, aches, and swel­ lings. No, I charge nothing for this advice. It is simply given for the benefit of mankind.--New 1'ork Her­ ald. ' Clgarettei). A manufacturer of cigarettes recently expressed himself as being , greatly amused at Representative Fow's famous bill. "Here's the whole thing in a nut­ shell," he remarked. "Poor cigarettes are poisonous; all cigarettes are harm­ ful to a great majority of people. But so are most candies and liquors for that matter. The best cigarettes are those made of Virginia high-grade tobaccos, rolled in real French rice paper. It's the horrid American paper that causes much of ~ trouble."--Philadelphia Press. SPAIN 'S LITTLE KINO. Bow Bo is Watched by Mis Venerable aW^': , tendaats, Little Alfonso XIII, King of Spain, , whose fifth birthday has just been cele- • -f'* brated, leads the most joyless life im- 'f? agin able. He is sensitive and sickly. .-,W He is frequently taken down with vio-% C ^§jl lent attacks of colic, which last for days|w ' and shake his tiny, weak body into" * " condition of pitiable thinness. Conse-t v quently he -is undersized, white and^ languid. He passes only one hour daily/." in the open air, and this by the side of his mother in the royal carriage. Oc- ; casionally he is allowed to leave ther; ^ carriage to walk in the park sedately ia the society of his nurse, his English '• ^ governess and the Countess of Peralta. r The people of Madrid say that the ,» ' % total of the ages of these three com- - ^ ' panions is 160 years. The Countess Peralta is at least 90, and was the hea4 > governess of little Alfonso's father very^:"'," many years before the miniature king: v was dreamed of. At all events, it iaife certain that the royal companions, with ' . their 160 years, frown on all royal ca-i •tT ' 'Z pers, for the occasional attempt of their puny charge to run or jump or throw stones are suppressed with military promptness.-- Chicago Herald. Stories About Chauncey Depew. ' "] The writer met one of the all-around" ^ * newspaper men of New York the othee,, day who was out West, as he admitted; . '1 < for the purpose of putting an edge onj/^;?" himself. He is one of the lights of th«. profession in this city. In bis talk; about the easiest men of his citv to inlj'j terview he related the following aboutfc; Mr. Depew. "Mr. Depew is the newspaper man'A friend. He has an understanding with tbft leading writers--I mean the all- around writers--that whenever tUay ee& hard up for a good story and he is not . accessible to draw on him for one. Tha| . is to say, when such a writer such as . speak of wants to locate a story he can' give Mr. Depew as authority, and Mr. Depew's name to a story always goes in New York. All that Mr. Depew asks of these writers is that they will not make him appear ridiculous. The writers strive to please Mr. Depew in this respect. Many a good story that is credited to the great after-dinner orator comes from the workshop of such writers as I have mentioned. I do not wish to be understood ss Faying or intimating that Mr. Depew is not capable of telling the best story on earth or that the writers of whom I speak act in a discreditable manner. Many a poor devil who has genius owes to the name of Chauncy Depew the price of a sumptuous dinner." Ovor Fifteen Thousand Manuscripts. Mr. Bok, the editor of the Ladies' Home Journal, recently gave some in­ teresting figures relative to the manu­ scripts received by his magazine during 1890. Owing to its departments and peculiar character, the Journal prob­ ably reoerves more manuscripts than • any magazine published. Mr. Bok says that he received at his office • a total number of .15,205 manuscripts. Of these, 2,280 were poems; 1,746 stories and 11,179 miscellaneous articles. Of the poems, 66 were accepted; of the stories, only 21, and of the articles 410, of which latter, however, over 300 were solicited articles. Thus, it will be seen that of the entire 15,000 manuscripts only 497 were accepted; a trifle over 3 per cent. Deducting from this the 300 accepted articles written at the editor's solicitation, the net percentage of un­ solicited manuscripts accepted is brought down to 197, or a little more thau 1 per cent. Statistics such as these bIiow . how much utter trash is being written, and the number of persons writing who ought to be employing their time at something else and better. Orifin ot the French Karly Breakfast. The origin of the French fashion ot taking before breakfast some bever­ age, which either takes the shape of coffee or chocolate, or Bome less "inno* cent" fluia, is curious and amusing.' The custom is still popularly called "killing the worm." It is explained in an old dairy of the time of Francis I., in connection with the sudden death oi the wife of one of the king's court offi­ cials, M. LaVernade. When she waa opened a living worm which had pierced "her was found upon her heart. Then they put' some mithridate upon the heart in order to make the worm die. Then they put some bread soaked in wine, and from eating it the said worm died. It therefore follows that it is ex­ pedient to take bread and wine in the morning, at all events in times of dan­ ger, for fear of the worm.--Pall Mall Budget. Ink Warranted to rsds. One of the novelties in-the stationery line is an ink that is guaranteed to fade within a week after it has been put upon paper. The inventor says he ei' pects to make a great deal of money out of his invention in a short time. "Just imagine, if/ou can," he said to me, "what a demand there will be fox my ink among corresponding lovers. The young man can write words that almost scorch holes in the papt* and ig­ nite the mails, but they will fade out of sight inside of a week, leaving nothing but white paper behind it. "By the use of my ink," he continued, "there will be no more compromising letters introduced as evidence in preach- of-pjomise cases, and forgers will enjoy immunity from punishment. I think it will have a great sale, don't you ?" and he wrung his hauds in joy as the visions of prospective wealth danced before his eyes.--New York Herald. Not Very Popular. At a big shooting party in England, Gerard Start, now Lord Alington, was one of the guests, says Cecil Clay, in Truth. One of the party who had not succeeded in making himself very pop­ ular, said to him on the morning of their departure: "Would you mind telling me, Start, what you generally give these fellows in thejvay of tips?" "Certainly; I'll tell you with\pleasure, I giv^ the game keeper so niuch, and the butler so much, etc., but," hVadded, "if you will allow me to give you a pie« of advice, if I were in your place, ~ wouldn't give them anything at all. You'll never be asked here again! What's the use?" Getting Particular. All in all, it is genially well to say unpleasant thing onuight rather than.: to hint it. "Here, Bill, take this chair,".said this grocer. ^ "An' let you stand?" answered the cus-S3H tomer. "I don't want you to stand on ^ my acoount, not a minute." "Gittin' dreffle particular all at once, ain't ye?" said the grocer. "I've. knowed things ter stand on your ac- » "= c o u n t o v e r a y e a r . " * , ; The outcome of the matter was the " ̂ J transfer of Bill's account to the other A store.--Exchange. > p 1 Woman is always thinking herself ag- - i. grieved and is ever looking for re-dress. „ * •»' T • I "•, „vr * * ', . -V A 'tiuti* v;, i i * » i