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I •' ̂ |fe V V" V. A VAN SLYKC* an* UttfUlSr, lUuMom. : AN IMPROPER STORY. *. s'ltl ain't juat the ttory, paraon, to tell in » wowd « ' like this, Wetb the virtuous matron a frownlu'an cblam the pigglin mi*«, ^ An' the good old deacon a noddin' in tuna *'tn hie patient htioroa, .. . , 4US' the shocked aieet of the capital, stalk in away through the doors. Bat itoeo. it's a story thet happened, an' every •word of it's true. An' sojjietinioB wo can't help talkin' of the fbhigB thet we sometimea do, 4a' though good societv coldly shots its doocs onto "Teamster Jim." .• , £.v«*fc thlnkin' there's lots wade pso)^6 tMflM- "S;* ter known than hint.' ° I »inrt the day he was married, an' I danced at the weddin', too; An11 kissed the bride, sweet Haggle--daughter of Ben McGrew. X tuind laow they set up housekeepin', two yonng. poor, happy fools, When Jim's only stock was a heavy, track an' four Kaintucky mulua. Wall, they lived along contented, weth their little joys an' euros; il' every year a baby came, an' twioet they caxue in pairs; Till the house was full of children, weth their shoutin' an' pl»yin',«nd squalls, JUl' their Bingin' and laughiu' an' cryin' made ; Bedlam within its walls. "Aitf Jim, he seemed to like it, an' Ha apent all his evenin's at home; fie said it was full of music an' light on' peace from pit to dome. Be joined the church an' he used to pray that his heart might be kept from sin-- The stumblin'est prayin'--but heads an' hearts UBed to bow when he'd begin. ao they lived along in that way, the sajae from " day to day, With plenty of time for drivin' work, an' a lit­ tle time for play, i An' growin' around them the sweetest girla an' . . - the liveliest, manliest boys, ' 1111 the old gray heads of the two old folks was crowned with the homeliest joys. TSh? Come to my story? Well, that a all. They're livin' just like I said. Only two of the girls is married, an' one Of the boys is dead; Am' they're honest, an' (feceat, as' happy, an' the very best Christians I know, . Slwugh I reckon in brilliant comp'ny they'd be I'oted a little slow, t Oh, you're pressed for time--excuse you?' Sore, I'm sorry I kept you so long; flood-by. Now, he looked kind o' bored like, an' I riekoti that I was wrong ^To tell secb a commonplace story of two sech commonplace lives. Bat we can't alt get drunk an' gamble an' fight, an rna off with other men's wives. IjOTTY'S love. 0 'Jerusalem the Golden, With milk and honey bleat." mi •Charlotte always had a temper of Iter own," said Joshua Tassell. "Folks with them black ©yes generally has. But she's a sunshiny piece arter all. It does me good to hew her sing about the house." 'And she's a master-hand to turn off work," added Mrs, TasselL "I never had any one here that suited me like her." Deaoon Tassell and hia wile were sitting on the front porch in the yellow light of the declining sun. The deacon had last weeks newspaper in his hand, sod Mrs. Tassell was knitting so rapidly that the needles seemed to flash steely lightning. Mrs. Hopkins sat on the doorstep. She had come over to bor­ row a "setting o' ducks' eggs" from her neighbors, and on the sunny meadow •lope at the left a lithe young figure was gathering towels and pillow cases ft* off the bleaching ground. * "But it's sort o' strange, ain't it, that she couldn't seem to get along with her lather ?" said Mrs. Hopkins. "No one couldn't get along with old Elias Emmons," asserted Mrs. TasselL "It's scold, soold, fret, fret with him from morning till night. |He thinks r life ain't made for nothin' but work, and he didn't give the girl clothes to be de­ cent She couldn't go nowhere like •otlwr girls, nor have no company. He •dug up all her posy beds to plant onioas and leeks, and he wouldn't «e*en let her sing about the house. Didn't want a noise, he said. Now jest listen to that" For even while the .deacon's wife discoursed Charlotte Em- ;mons began to sing in a soft, rich itcalto: r* In the ^iUow sunset the effect was indescribily sweet. * Well, I declare!" said Mrs.'Hopkins. "She can sing." "And that," said Mrs. Tassell, "Is what her father called a 'noise!' He wouldn't have it And he , wag awful mad when she bought that melodeon on the installment plan from Harvey Nickerson. She had paid for it now, what with helpin' Miss Mix weave rag carpet and takin' in shop work to do of sights after old Elias was abed and Asleep. But he won't never let her open it when he's in the house. And fiaally, one day when he wouldn't buy her a rod cashmere dress to take the plaoe of the one she's worn three win­ ters already, she declared she wouldn't «tay in the house no longer to be half dcessed an' half fed, and called all aorta o' names into the bargain. An'he told her she migbt clear out and good riddance to bad rubbish. Of course, he never s'posed she'd go. But she did. She came straight here, and I chanced to be without any help just then--my niece Keziah had married and gone-- eo I told her she migbt stay, and--Yes, Lotty, you may take them 'dried apples in. I guess another day's sunshine'll be *11 they need," she said, in her sound comfortable accents, as Char­ lotte came up the path, carrying the basket of linen in an unconsciously graceful attitude and nodded smilingly *fc Mrs. Hopkins. . "Oh, yes," said Lotty, in the soft con- hralto voice, "I took them in long ago they are neaurly dry. But Mrs, Tassell, if jou don't mind, I'd like to go over home to-night." "What for, Lotty?" The fair head dropped* ft delicate . *»olor overspread the cheek. t'̂ .4,I was thinking, Mrs. Tussell, if you didn't object," *aid Lotty, "I'd like to %ring my melodeon over here. The foom where it aUnds is damp in rainy weather, and father never has a fire ' there, and--and--I don't believe I shall «ver go back there to live." I,*4 Mrs. Tassell cordially acceded. '"I'll be real glad to have it here, : . 8aid she. '"And I sort o' think •w1 ill Harper*s house hain't no damp :?ooms in it." Lotty blushed brighter than ever,and •Iran off to put on her hat, with a mur­ mured w&d of thanks. jlftfetltfee red sky rose up the un Lovely form of the old farm-honse where I tih* had suffered so many pftftg* and shed so many tears. ! "NoUght," said Lotty to herself. "1 suppose father is as eoomioal of can* dies as ever." Old Eli§s Emmons sat on the door* step smoking his cob pipe. Tobacco was cheap, for he raised it himself, and at that period of the twenty-four hours' time counted for nothing. "It's me, father," said Lotty brightly. The old man grunted some inaudible word. . ' vV*' "Oh, I havent eome beck to «tay," cried shew "It's a good thing ye hain't," said Emmons puffing vigorously away at his pipe. "I would not a took ye in, if ye had. Wl>?-t I say I stick to." " I'm suited," said Lotty. " And Deacon Taasell's folks are suited too." "Humph!" again grunted old Em* mons. "Then what's brung ye here!" "I've come after my melodeon, father," answered Lotty. "Mrs. Tassell says I may keep it there, and Jacob, the hired man, will oome iorit with the ox-oart to-morrow." "Humph!" Lotty passed him with the light, elas­ tic step. She entered the dark, moldy- smelliug kitchen, struck a match, and carried the tallow candle she had lighted into the farther room. Old Elias smoked steadily on, chuckling to him­ self at the sudden silence which ensued. "Why, father, where is it?" almost screamed Lotty, nearly dropping the candle in her dismay. "I've sold it" "You've--sold my--melodeon!' "Yes, I did." "But it was mine!" "Well, you're mine, ain't ye? Ton and all that belongs t'ya You ain't 19 until October, and by law ye oan't own anything. The very wages ye earn at old Tassell's I could claim if I'd a mind to. And I didn't want that there music- box around in the way, and so I sold it last week." "Who did yon sell it to, father?" "It was to Adelaide Vick." ; "Did Dr. Yick buy it ?" "No. Young Harper bought it. Now you know all there is to be knowed about it, and there's an end of the mat­ ter. It's gettin' dark and I keep early hours. Good-night." wv "Fsther " ^ •* "Good-night, t say.* *' Charlotte Emmons ran oat into the starlight. She did not sob or cry out. She only stumbled along in the soft summer dark, one hand clasped tightly over her heart. Y It was such a cruel wound! It hsd come so suddenly t If old Emmons had wanted to smite her to the heart he could have ohosen no better method than this. "Lotty t Lotty 1 Why are yon har­ rying so?" It was the voice of Adelaide Yick standing at her own gate. fCome in!" she cried. "1 want to apeak to you. I've ^mething to tell you!" * ^ "I know what it is," said Lotty, stop­ ping short. "You've got it away from me. WTell, keep it! And much good may it do you!" There was iQob in the bitternesa of her voice; her heart beat as if it would suffocate her. "Who told you, Lotty?" "Father told me. I hope yon're sat­ isfied now, Adelaide. Let--let me go) 1 can't breathe." v But we meant it to be such a sur­ prise," said Adelaide. It's all turned up, Lotty, and it's to be sent to the Harper house just as soon as the parlors are prepared, and--oh, here's Will now! P® can tell yftu the rest," And Ade­ laide turned short around and ran laugh­ ing into the house. "Lotty! My darling! How has our secret managed to leak out?" said Will, clasping her around the waist with a strong arm from which she could not escape, let her struggle as she would. "But I heard that Mr. Emmons was threatening to sell the melodian, and I went .there at once and made him an offer which he couldn't refuse. And Addy Yick has given it house room un­ til the new paper was on the walls of the south rooms at home--a pattern of blue forget-me-nots, Lotty--just the color you like. And father and mother want yon to oome there this fall instead of next, my true love, so you see you've no time to lose in sewing your wedding dress." Charlotte looked up into his face. Happy tears sparkled in the starlight; a full tide of happiness overflowed her heart. Five minutes ago she had been so miserable 1 Now she would exchange places with no princess in the laud. 'Well, well," said Mrs. Tassell, "I B'pose it is as natural for young folks to get married as it is for birds to pair in the springtime. But I declare I shall miss the child when she's gone!" A.nd she hummed an air to herself as she darned the deacon's gray SQoks. "What's that you're tryin' to sing, mother T asked the deacon, half smil­ ing- "It's Lotty's tune, father, 'Jerusalem the golden.'" "Humph!" said the deaoon. "You don't sing it as she does F--Fireside Companion. THE AWI any* » Jum* i-jiH A Bsmarksbls Baa As a reliable setter Joshua Bobert- sop^of Lake Como, has a Plymouth Bock hen which he will back against the world. The mood is liable to strike her any season of the year, and when it does she will sit with us much enthusi­ asm upon a porcelain nest egg, a door knob, a small boulder or a brick, with the thermometer 20 degrees below zero and a blizzard raging, as though she were planted upon a dozen golden pheasant eggs worth $3 a piece in the balmiest May weather. She has per­ formed a feat which was never per­ formed in Minnesota before, so far as the oldest inhabitant can remember. Over three weeks ago she caught the sitting fever. Her proprietor tried to break it ut>. He fed her meats mixed with cayenne pepper, other things mixed with black pepper, and tried all the remedies known to the scienoe as good to*make a hen lay. But it was all time wasted. She had made up her mind to sit, and sit she would. So Mr. Robertson concluded to humor n ^ her. He put a dozen nice, new eggs Eh! said Mrs. Hopkins, rising up | under her. Mrs. Hen appreaciated the .^•q.-^iiwith her basket of ducks' eggs. What's that about Will Harper?" ^ "Hain't ye never guessed?" said Mrs. Tassell, with a sly twinkle in her • <eyes. f V* . "But I thought he was keeping com-1 'iJlZ'Wy "Mi Adelaide Yick?" | ;*»* * *Oh, there never was nothing in that," ;> *, >«aid Mrs. Tassell. * ^ f While Lotty, tripping over the dewy fields, sung ever and anon a stray line isZljw of "Jerusalem the golden" out of the ,v«' •' very lull a-- and. happiness of her shrWftsfteeringher old home. favor, and put in her best licks. Yes­ terday she walked (off the nest the proud mother of eleven chicks. Mr. Kobertson has lived near St Paul for the past thirty-nine years, and he as­ serts that that is the first brood of ohickens ever hatohed by a hen in the State during the month of January.-r- 8t. Paul Press. An ftwkwatii'tooldaf man walked somewhat timidly xep to the hotel clerk »nd asked if Armand Withersbee was in his room. "Armand Withersbee?" replied the hotel clerk. "Don't know him." "Hasn't he a room here?" asked the man. "No." "Not Parlor D, on the seooad floor?" he gasped, as lie mopped his faoe with ft handkerchief and produced ft check for $100, payable to "Armand Withers­ bee," drawn on the Fourth National Bank. "Did he tell you he lived here?" asked the clerk. "Yes," answered the man, "and be promised to be here at 7 p. m. sharp, to repay me the #10 he borrowed from me! "Been leading1 him money, eh?" "Why, yes, but he gave me good se­ curity. I wouldn't lend money to a man I had only known for a lew hours without good security. He gave me this check for $100." « "How much did you lend him on it?*1 "Forty dollars." < "The bank was closed and he had to ge| the money somewhere at once, to i»<iet a pressing olaira, eh?" "Why, yes, that wsa it exactly. How did/ou know it?" "Hear of them every day," replied the clerk, "and see their victims.- "Victims?" "Yes, victims. You're one oi them." "How's that?" .• • » "You've been swindled.**• '•' "Me swindled?" " Yes, you. You ought to litter than to lend money to casual acquaint­ ances you may make in this great city. You must learn to keep your eyes open and read the newspapers. It's a pretty rank greenhorn that would be taken in by that old dodge." * "I'll thank you not to call me a green­ horn, sir," replied the man in an augry tone; "I'm no fool, l ean tell you. I can read character in the face. This Mr. Withersbee struck me as an honest man and I'm sure he'll come here to redeem his check." "Bet you he doesn't," said the cl6rk. "I'm not a betting man," replied the other, "but I'm going to sit here awhile and wait for Mr. Withersbee." "All right" answered the olerk. "Sit down." The man sat down and kept his eyeis steadily on the door for about half an hour. 'Still think he's going to oome, eh?" sneered the clerk. Yes ; I ain't going to abandon my faith in human nature yet. Hell come," Bet you $10 he don't." said the olerk tantalizingly. "Well, I'll risk it," replied the man. Who'll hold the stakes? "The elevator boy," Baid the clerk. Two $10 bills were put up and the man sat down to wait again. Before ten minutes had elapsed, a man bustled in, went straight up to the olerk and threw down a card, on which was en­ graved, "Armand Withersbee." "Has anybody been asking for me?" he said. Then without waiting for an answer he turned about' and let his eye fall on the man who had the check. With an exclamation pf pleasure he saluted him, excused his lateness, pro­ duced $40 in crisp bills, handed tnem over, procured his check for $100 and invited the lender to drink. The clerk looked on in amazement,1 while the awkward man reached for the elevator boy, got the $20, declined/tb drink, took the arm of Mr. Withersbee and marched out With him trium; •ntly. , . . As they passed out they had an in describable, but unmistakable, air comradeship about them that made the clerk kick himself and exclaim angrily: "Done again, by jiminy! Pals, of coarse! I might have known it!"--N. Y. Tribune. "Walt In the Ball." In London it is not considered "good form* | for a gentleman to carry through the streets a parcel, however small or elegantly wrapped. He may carry a book, if it is not too large and is not wrapped up; for a book is a book, but a parcel may be a pound of eheese or a dozen red herring. The restriction is a foolish one; a form of class dictinc- tion that is inconsistent with the high* est civilization, in which every man will be a gentleman if he is thoroughly considerate of I others, whether he is a laborer or rides in a carriage. The author of "England, Without and Within" gives an anecdote of an easy-going English gentleman, who was not bound by the UMUzd lftw against parcel-carrying. A shoemaker had missent to him a a pair of shoes intended for a neighbor, and had probably sent to the neighbor the shoes that should have been sent to him. As he had no' pre­ judice against carrying bundles,, he went with the shoes to his friend's house. On arriving at his friend's door he asked to see Mr. Dash, but was under­ stood by the servant to ask for Mrs. Dash, and was ushered into her pres­ ence. The lady, who had never seen him before, looked up andourtly asked: "What have you there?" "Mr. Dash's nhoes," replied the gen­ tleman. "Oh, yen; it's all right. Mr. Dash is out, but he'll be in soon, and it you want to see him you'd better take a seat in the hall, and wait till he come*." "But, madam--" began the gentle­ man, who was a baronet's son. "Nevermind, never mind; it's all right Step out in the hall, please, and wait for Mr. Dash." The gentleman, of course, appreciated the situation at once. But he was too well-bred and had too keen a sense of humor to explain, which would have both mortified the lady and prevented him from enjoying her mistake. He stepped into the hall, intending to give the shoes to ft servant and leave the house. But meeting his friend coming in, he gave him the shoes and, after a few words, bade him good morning. Though pressed to remain, he refused, knowing that his return .to the wife's presence would cause her embarrass­ ment. His consideration for the feelings of another person would have made him a gentleman if he had been • hod-carrier. --Youth's Companion. ftQ open Is not swayiii voter 6f WAUCONDA nol sV ticfi for buginess hairing teighly refitted with a filpe of the most w#IBW = AM* „..!= or hjproyei laclery, wh in] Ingest and b6st Mill iteiFirm in the countrj'. •oy prepared to do * Grinding •Mery facility to secure be Tr, gi­ ll Its, with enlarged rades of Flour al id for sale. Itblaving Wheat to sell a ready market at ket price. J. SPENCER. Hi, May 27, 1891. ni m This Trade Mark Is on TiieBest Waterproof • Coat In the world. th an pli wl ;atriogn>-*w- la, ^ORK HOUSE. trip E. Bandolph St. raiiklin and Market Streets* N«flICAGO. as. iation to Travelers and Boarders. KOEPPE, Prop. GOOD SAMPLE ROOM. JF few like saying momathing TtAJi f West McHe S3 ILL BE WISE I % MEBIacking HARD AND STIFF, and warranted to preserve jeep it Noft and durable. ,y for the Cost 10c lift Plain White i A. «sela to Ruby, 'V® raid, Opal, 1QC Coitly Crlaaa. 10c jng mmmmm bad O'oloek ft* fa* the two women OeenOTing HIIII3 lower berth of section eight in the t?stat® of oeper were so deeply engrossed in own interesting remarks that tbej Harrison, <iec4 not seem to remember that the 1 '.fin„r.yn^n was D°t in motion, ftnd that their court or MeHM°b oould be plainlj heard by all of Hoiice. in Wt tbo flr«t Moot., ill persona bai arc notwied an' purpose of h* persona indebtj *0 make immi Signed, l>ated thl« ill UW* JPIIIL And said 100 si » Ayk "Befokk we were married," said she, "hia dinplays of affection were positively overdone." "And newt* "They are •ery rare." Those Dreadful Young SUa. In fact, the young man in politics Is ft Terr independent individual, and he will go ahead voting with the party that offers the most practical and business­ like plans for conducting the public servioe rather than with a party that un­ dertakes to discipline him. The time r when test of political ooasisted of trotting about Whaffur?" . ®I>©an' you be axin' whoppers. El you knowed yo' own haid fum apnnkin, chile; you'd knbw dat ef dese yer ossi- fers ob de law was to ketch de angel Gab'el gwitie erloag wid • bag ob feathers on his pnseenr and Gab'el was as brack as yoa' isr dey'd 'rest him sho'n jedgment day. Das wimfftir. Now you leave dem feathers- wwr<#ey an' doan' go roun' heah temptin' Firovt' denoe. You heah me.Free iVcsw. Will Vs. Clreunmtanees* A writer in the New England Farmer makes the following interesting com­ ments concerning the power of will over circumstances. Last summer I chanced* to find am old schoolbook which probably had ne»er been opened since its' owaer, a girl student, died forty years ago. The book was filled with loose sheets ef pa­ per, covered with hand-writing, uniform and beautiful. There 'vere drawings of plants and their separate leacves and flowers; there were carefully written notes of lectures; copies of poems which were fre«h then, but have- now become standard selections. Son*4* difficult mathematical problems were also worked out, and the whol« was the work of an earnest student. My conclusion was, as I reverently laid aside the book, that will is stronger than circumstances. The high-school girl ef to-day, bright as she is, cannot show better work than this New England farmer's daughter, of whfttour girls would term "long ago, ~ Madera Cookery. Ignorance of American institutions, on the part of English people, is not unnatural, perhaps, bat it is none the less amusing. A rosy English girl who sat beside bright young American in the dining saloon of a Canard steamer, as the story is told in the Albany Press, suddenly put American politeness to the test by propounding the inquiry, "Can you make clams?" Clams?" answered the bewildered American maiden. Yes; they're a kind of bread or bis­ cuit, aren't they?" What Killed Him. A typographical error is thus ac­ counted for by the Whiteside Herald: Compositor--That new reporter spells "victuals" "v-i-t-a-l-s." Foreman--Yes, he's fresh. Make it right, and put the item in here. We must get to press in just three minutes. The item was put in place, and this is the way the public read it: "The varuiot of the Coroner's jury was that the deceased came to his death from the effects of a gunshot wound in his victuals." Mr. other occupants of the ear. is what it was all ab6ut» I hate these horrid sleepers,' of the women. Ho do I," replied the other. "I al« ys say my prayers real solemn every e before I get into one of these ty trap-like berths. You never w whether you'll get oat alive or 'That's true." 41 lie awake half the night thinking: That if there should be an accident.'" |I know. Jist think of being rolled »r and over down an embankment in of these things 1" * Horrible. And I read once of ft in, or • spring or something of the it giving way and the upper berths : closed up." , With people in them?" ;•> > ;4&*. fYes, indeed,'" fGood heavens!" ,, / ' i I should say so." - 1 • ' " i Didn't it kill 'em ?" 'I suppose so. The fright of it would Ve killed me!" f Me too. I'll never get into an upper rth again." INor I; the lower berths are bad ugh. A friend of mine had a per­ tly awful experience ift ftleeper How was that?" ^ " Well, she was traveling with her iband and he got very sick in the ht and was famishing for a drink, I have PO'ter wasn't around-^" Warehouse never is when he's wanted." Depot ]No, never. So she got up herself aC a 8*1188 °' water f°r him and WEST back to what she supposed was Tir. _ ,»ir berth--you know you can never Where Iwi^ one from another when they're ftll ' jde up with the curtains down." Xfrt wvi I know you can't." A CXiA JXa | Well, she got to the berth she kight sure was theirs and she handed ClUMSfliat1"1® water and said: 'Here, dear; U&fflwMBife's a glass of water for you,' and-- at do you think ?" Wftft^'Oh, do tell me." ft W®'She'd made a mistake in the berth!" .. "No! How horribleF Single wSome horrid, gruff, old fellow in the rth snarled out, *1 don't want no Tie KiUir Of ^orribler UU AndBshe was to frightened that All of which' What ?" ( ^ suit the timestshe let the glass of water fall right I cam handi'"*/<*«"" ̂ Jar Bay Id ">on(!bl ^d died right there! Call and se^The water ran all over himP How perfeetly awful--tee, hee, I" Hee! hee! hee! Well, he swore and ed and--hee, hee hee, and she-- tee, , hee!" Do tell me the rest--hee. hee, hee!" Well--ob, I nearly die laughing ry time I tell it, well, she give an ul scream and crawled behind the fetains of the next berth, and-- I'That wasn't her birth either?" No, it wasn'tr Ha, ha! Tee, hee hee! How per- t-ly ri-tfiou-lons! Hee, hee, hee!" Another man snarled out, 'who are 1 ? What you wantlhere ?' and she---- The Champfe, hee, hee!" Northern Tee, hee, hee!" at the St£j.d y°n ever%' „ , . , 2No; I never did." during her husband got out by this t^His gtod® an(* 8ot ^r i°to her own berth, principal farnier? Bhe had hysterics alt night- Greenwood ajj?'j1®6'j1®®; the past four t»Should think she would" stlon. He net And man she'd poured: the water any horse have had to get up and have his berth all Farmers yo^P43'1' for everything was wringing abilities as roir^bat's the funniest thin? I enr aDUitles asro«^d ofj j 8han,t ^ * wink to­ night for thinking of it." "Well, the rest of us won'tr get ft» sleep a wink if vou don't stop> talking about it," growled a horried rude man from the opposite berth, and all wau silent but for the convulsive giggling oir the occupants of No. 8."--Free Press-.- TOMMY--Paw, what is "fame?" Figg--Fame, my son, is something a out » Iht Breathing ot a Locomotive. The "breathing" of a locomotive-- thet is to say, the number of puff's given hy a railway engine during its jpurney --depends upon the circumference ot its driving wheels and their speed. No matter what the rate of speed may be, lor every one round of the driving- wheels a locomotive will give four puffs two out of each cylinder, the cylinders being double. The sizes of driving- wheels vary, some being eighteen, nine­ teen, twenty and even twenty-two feet in circumstances, although they are generally made of about tweuty feet. The express speed varies from fiftv-four to fifty-eight miles an hour, taking the average circumference of the driv­ ing-wheel to be twenty feet, aud the speed per hour fifty miles, a locomotive will give, going at express speed, 880 puffs per minute, or 52,800 puffs per hour, the wheel revolving 13,200 times in sixty minutes, giving 1,056 puffs per mile. Therefore, an express going from London to Liverpool, a distance oH 201$ miles, will throw out 213,048 puffs before arriving at its destination. Dur­ ing the tourist season of 1888 the jour­ ney from London to Edinburgh was ac­ complished in less than eight hours, the distance-being 401 miles, giving a speed throughout of fifty miles an hoar. A locomotive of an express train from London to Edinburgh, subject to the above conditions, will give 423,456 puffs. --Iron. Order or the liongMt Klvers. The Amazon, in Sonth America, falls from the Andes through a course of 2,600 miles; the Mississippi, from the Stony mountains, runs 2,690 miles; La Piata, from the Andes, 2,215. miles; the Hoangho, in China, from the Tartarean chain of mountains, is 3,260 miles, the Yangtsekiang runs from the same moun­ tains and is 4,060 miles long; the Nile, from the Jihel Kumri mountains, courses 2,590 miles; the Euphrates, from Ararat, is 2,020 miles long; the Volga, from the Yaldais, is 2,100 miles; the Danube, from the Alps, is 1,790 miles in length; the Indus, from the Himalayas, 1,770 miles long; the Ganges runs from the same source and is 1,650 miles long; the Orinoco, from the Andes, 1,500in length; the Niger, or Wharra, is 1.900 miles long; the Don. the Dneiper, auu iue Senegal are each over 1,000 mile* in length; the Rhine and the Gambia are 888 miles extent • WHEN a woman wants to drive any­ thing out of the house she "shoos" it A usually boots Ik it w*« :lil^i^r:^^,i^rwe were eMftpeUedtoturninshore half a mile down from the regular stopping plaoe. The hank was high wherfe the boat •topped, so that the surface of th« ground was on a level with the upper deok. A dense growth of trees oorered the patch of ground, thus effectually shutting off any bit of breeze that might have been astir. It was midday of one of the hottest days in a very warm July and there was nothing to do but let the boilers oool off so that another valve could be pnt in. That meant the re­ mainder of the day and half the night. Everybody, from the captain to the newest roustabout, was out of sorts. It was with these conditions surrounding us that we saw a visitor coming through the woods in our direction. We noticed that he was a trifle in his cups, but for all that we were glad to see him, be­ cause he was something new and might help to pass that dull afternoon. The stranger came on to the edge of the boat and reaching over from the high bank to the deok railing, he very un­ steadily climbed aboard. "Hello," said the captain, "anybody up to the landing?" "Run it m'self," returned the man, with a surly air. "Will you take the goods we have herethe captain asked. ^They're for Jones & Robinson's store, over in the woods." "Naw, I won't take 'em," responded the stranger, pulling ha pirate-like black beard viciously. "Who will then?" "Don't know an' don't keer." said the man. "I'm bad, I am." "Well, yon'll have to get of^" said the captain, his warth rising. "Get off?" "That's what I said." 'Butl'mbad." „You must get off, all the same," con­ tinued the captain, moving toward the black whiskered stranger. "But I'm bad, I say, an' I kill." "You've got to go," catching the man by the collar. "Hold on, cap'n, yon don't know me. I've killed ten men." "Don't make no difference," said the captain, dragging the intruder toward the rail. "But, see here* I'm mean; I'm a--" The pair had reached the rail, and the captain took his other hand, and, gathering the stranger up, threw him into the weeds and yellow flowers on shore. No sooner had he strnek than the stranger turned over toward the boat, and pnlling his long beard again vie- onsly, he observed: "I'm a bad man, cap'n; and yon'll find out by askin' up at the landin.' I'm one of the meanest men in St* Gitarlee County."--Free Press. Getting Off Cheap. As the train going down from Charles­ ton to Savannah ran in on a siding to wait for the up-train to pass, we--saw a large alligator in a pond on the other side of tbe fencfe. This pond had been made by a fill in the railroad bed, and was about 200 feet long by 40 broad. On the opposite side and not twenty feet from the water, was a negro cabin, and a negro stood in the open door look­ ing at the train. A dozen men leaped to the ground, pulled their revolvers tlie reptile. He was hit by two or three bullets at once, and down he went out of sight. As he dis­ appeared the negro came running down to us, hat in hand, and pointing to a hole made in the head-gear by a glano- ing bullet he exclaimed: "Now, deu, whar' is dat white man who shot dat bullet?" No one could say, as we had all been firing, but one of the shooters finally stepped forward and said: "See here, Moses, it was an accident, and though it was a close shave you have not been hurt." "But Ize got a chill, sahf When dat bullet went 'p-i-n-g' frew my ole hat, I fought I was dun sont fur and killed dead, an' its brung de ager back on me." "Well, how much damages d» yon olaim?*^ "Fo' bits, sah--fo' bits an' not a cent less. I doan' want to rob nobody, but dat bullet might her went right hvw nty head." We raised the half dollar and handed it over* add as Moses dropped it into his pocket and turned away he- ouh tinned: ""Doan' feel hard, gemlen, but I owe® a dnty to my fam'ly. Ef dat bullet had killed me de ole woman would her stuck out for two big dollars, eben if it broke d* hull crowd!"--Free Press. AMsftUe Stoeter T«fti*»*ea* BemsfkaM* Dr. Rhett Goode, the well-known surgeon ot this taDs a story which in certainly one Of lhe most remarkable ever reoorded. It is a fish story, but * true one. The doctor, with Messrs. W. H. Barney, E. O. Zadek, and W. C. Gelli- brand, was the guest of Capk J. W. Black, manager of the Sullivan Timber Company, on an oocasion down the bay Wednesday. The party reached Fort Morgan early in the morning, and spent the day in fishing, enjoying excellent sport, Mr. Barney brought two shark lines and cast them early in the day, but not until afternoon, when the party was at dinner, did he get a bite. Then the fishermen pulled in two moderate- sized sharks, one about five feet long and tbe other about seven feet long. When the fish, after considerable ex­ citement, were pulled on the wharf, they wen given their quietus with an ax. Some time after it was suggested that Dr. Goode open the sharks and re­ cover whatever gold watches, finger- rings, etc., their stomachs should be found to contain. Th© doctor opened the seven-footer, and then plied the knife on the smaller shark. The story as he tells it is as follows: "I made a straight incision and opened the body of the shark. I took out the stomach, the alimentary canal, and tbe intestines, and, having examined the stomach, threw those organs over into the water. Having a cariosity to see how large a heart such a fish has I cut into the diaphragm and extracted the heart. This organ, I found, was about the size of an egg, rather smail, I thought, for so large a fish. The curi­ ous thing about it was that it continued to pulsate after I had taken it from the fish. It beat regularly for a minute or more, lying there ic my hand. When it stopped beating I pricked it with the knife and it again pulsated for a short time. It was perpectly empty of blood. "Meantime the pilot and others pitched the seven-foot shark off the wharf and it sank to the bottom. We could see it plainly throngh the clear water. They then took the smaller shark, all of whose internal organs I had removed, and whose heart I held in my hand, and threw it into the water. Yon can judge of our surprise to see that shark swish its tail around and flap its fins from side to side, and then Bwim briskly away until it disappeared." "It went with the current?" ' - "Yes, but it was swimming. We Sft saw it as plain as oould be. The other shark sank like a shot; this one swam straight away, as naturally as any fisb." "Was the fish apparently dead when you out it up ?" "Yes. It did not make a single move all the time I was cntting it The way that dissected fish did, beats anything I ever heard of or ever imagined. We could see it for twenty or thirty yards as it swam away. It made the pilots down there open their eyes, I assure vou." Mr, Zadek, who was present when the doctor described this curious hap­ pening, said, when referred to, that it was "a true bill"--the most wonderful thing he ever saw.--Mobile Register : Indian Otaot Killed. The Piute Indians have a tradition that extends back, they know not how far into "the long ago," of an Indian of grant stature, who gave them trouble. They say that the grant warrior came from the North. He took up his abode near Pyramid Lake, and made war on the Piutes, killing many of the men, The giant was finally slain by Piute David, who crept up behind him and drove a poisoned arrow into his back, between the shoulder blades, says the Virginia (Nev.) Chronicle Two or three of the giant's tracks and his grave are shown to this day. The tracks are near tbe Truckee River, between Wads- worth and Pyramid Lake. They sore in soft sandstone, and are still kept elear of sand and soil. Every Indian that passes the spot stoops and sweeps out any dirt that may have lodged in the big tracks. The giant's grave is not far from where the tracks are seen. The grave is always kept clear of vegetation: any grass or weed seen growing upon it are pulled up by the roots. In this way the spot has always been kept maked. The Indians also have a tradition of huge animals that roaded the country. They say these animals had hornsrwith which they were able to uproot trees. To rid themselves of these great beasts, the whole Piute tribe turned out, surround­ ed the herd and drove them into Pyra­ mid Lake, where all were drowned. Even now, when the lake is seen roll­ ing about far out from shore, the Indians point to the waves and say they are the backs of the monster beasts. Water. Elaborate work has been 'done by E. W. Morley relating to the volumetric composition of water. In his summary he says: "For the present we may believe that water, when the gases are measured un­ der ordinary temperatures and pres­ sures, is composed of 2.0002 volumes of hydrogen to one volume of oxygen; or that under ordinary conditions the num­ ber of molecules in a given volume of oxygen is one nine-thousandth part greater than the number of molecules in an equal volume of hydrogen. I> you don't want people to look al- wftys on the d«k side of life give them w oooasinnal peey at thft other ridft. Two ITnefnl Pet iloaa. The lioness appeared to amuse her­ self by playing pranks on human strangers of her own sex, lying in am­ bush for them under the dining table. The writer continued: Fearing that something serious might occur if 1 al­ lowed my pets their liberty any longer, I had a large cage constructed,, and for the first week or two was obliged to spend much time in it with them. The lioness fretted a great deal, and the only way I had of quieting her was to go in and lie down, using the lion as a pillow, while she stretched herself beside' me with her head on my chest. One day the sheriff informed mo that he had a summons in his office for me to serve as a juryman. I begged off, but he was inexorable. A few days af­ terward he rode up to my gate, and I called my servant to open it for him while I hurried to the lions' oage. Pres­ ently I heard him calling me, and' on my answering he gradually found' his way to the den, in which I was seated on the lion's recumbent body, while the lioness sat behind me with her ohin resting on my shoulder. As soon as he saw me he sprang back and cried, "Come out of there !r "Hand that summons in here and I will do so." "Do you want my arm torn off?" "No,'but I want you to make a legal servioe of that paper by handing it to me." "I shall not take any suoh risk, butl will tear up the paper if you will only eome out and save me from, seeing you torn to pieoa" "All right, do so, and I will try to get out alive." The paper was torn up, and I stepped out of the cage, much to my friend's re­ lief. A short time after I met the Judge in the street, who wished to know if my mode of dodging jury duty was the one commonly practiced in my own country.-- Forest and Stream* flpatehea, Large planks are cut up into' Hocks, double the length of the match,.and put aoe at a time upon the cutting machine^ Two large knives converging at the points are driven back and forth upon the block, and numerous little clamps beneath, wide enough apart to pass one match between, are pressed up, each taking off a match at every passage of the knives, at the rate of sixty a min­ ute. The particles are packed in square frames and placed in a kiln dryer, over the furnace, where they remain twenty- four hours. They are taken out and by means of curious machines are coiled upon an ordinary cotton band. On each coil there is a gross, or 144 matches, and the band is between each layer. A curi­ ous arrangement of the machineisthatit will coil nothing but a perfect matoh and throws the defective ones asidft. The coiling is slow and one man can tend five machines, which will ordinarily coil ahout one hundred and fifty gross per day. After the coil is made up the ends are planed down even and put upon a hot iron, which opens the pores of the wood. Both ends are then dipped into brimstone, into a composition of phos­ phorous, glue and other materials, and hung upon racks lor ten minutes, at tho end of which time they are dry. The coils are then unrolled, the matches put into a square frame, cut in two in tbo middle, boxed and packed ready for shipment. The boxing is mostly dona by hoys and girls.--Hearth and HalL Mimcknt--What do you think, Maud ? Mr. Bullfish has proposed te ma Maud--Well, I always thought that he'd marry anybody who would take him. ftusuDflor i>-. '3 ' ' '"I