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^Yr The CIlMTtriM at ThtbM. Hie attention of archaeologist* and 2*. .**• learned generally is still largely f <*e«plcd with the discovery made at ' 1?® ®" A. letter alike interesting and k, ; ^fftstructlve has just teen received In s- • 'f'arN by - Prof. G. Maspero from M. <»r< 1-ant, director general of the ext-ava* „ ^ ,ti©os now in progress at Thebes. Prof. '*• v Maspero formerly held in Egypt the po- h ' . Sltion now held by M. Grebant. It ap- * " pears from this letter that the rock-cat . chamber was found at a depth of fifteen jjjt! meters, consisting of two floors or gal- * ierles. In the lower floor were found 180 mummy-cases, piled one on top of £7/ L' Mother, together with a large number . of funeral object5, including some fifty S£Tv Oslrian statuett s. Ten of the statuettes Iwero opened at once, and in each was 'l :> found a roll of papyrus. The period to I* . . Which the mummies and statuettes be- X longed was that of the twenty-first jdynasty. No such find has been made .Wocfl 1U81. The soil had, to air appesr- ance. remained untouched for a period of 3,000 years.--New York Recorder. 'TWOULD mm W- [/ .. Mghtfiil I«m «f UM tbe many disasters with which mankind > been visited, one of the wont is that clan %of ailments which, originating simply with ls> • laotlvlty of the kidney* and bladder, causes iwh !«(( r\i Hfc HrHw thie appalling cate= 'i y ©ome Brlght's disease, diabetes, graval, iVH - " .^ordinary nephritis and catarrh of the bladder. L-v. " No class of organic maladies, against which ^.^^snedical skill is pitted, so often baffles the n- practitioner and sets his skill at naught, m: v ®asy la It, however, to arrest these direful aQ- 'meats at the start. The diuretic action of Hos- ' - - n r Stomach Bitters is just mfticient to set '"the bladder and kidneys at work, preserve or . . rescue them from fatal inactivity without ex- . -olting them. The uumedicated stimulants of commerce excite without eith?r strengthening . i „ ®r regulating. Hostetter'e stomach Bitters r ®>es b«th.. it is unfailing for malaria, dyspep- r jSia, debility, rheumatism, liver complaint and .constipation. Straud Like Amos. Silas Rodes was a strong, hard-work- . lug farmer. His brother Amos was a confirmed invalid, who, three or four times a year, had "spells" of expecting "to die, but nevertheless always managed i r .to live. Still, he was really ill. and many thought him to be in considerable danger. But, while Amos was sick and expect- V$%ng to die, it chanced that the strong ^ ' ' ,Silas did actually die very suddenly. A y • messenger carried the sad news to his ,X f #^sister Elvira, a grim spinster, who lived " , V <in a distant part of the town. 1; 4 ?>•; she heard the message with some in- V credulity. " 'Tain't Silas ye mean; it's Amos," •"' - she said in reply. "Why, no," answered the messenger. ;v"I mean Silas. Amos is ail right. It's W Silas that is dead " %'.*• > ; «Wal, p'r'aps it's so," was the reluct­ ant rejoinder, "but I wouldn't ha' b'leeved it o' Silas; 't seems a good deal more like Amos." ^ ; ' B 1 li .inn I 1 Ml} ;4 ' Hi* Object. 'if. ^,r -4 Grulgnoli, the son of ia flsh:CTlsim, a jpri st in a rich abbey in Florence, had a u- - net spread every day on the table of his PS'--,apartment to put him, as he said, in jmind of his origin. Ti:e abbot dying, :thls dissembled humility procured Grulg- ^ to be his successor, and the net was nsed no more. A friend who came to see him the day afterward, on entering his apartment, said: "Where is the,net?" /"There is no lurther occasion for the - net " replied Gruignoli, "when the fish Is caught." . . . Cheap Din'nfeetant. A disinfectant that costs very little ' J * and is perfectly cdorless is made by dls- ^ .solving a heaped teaspoonful of nitrate of " lead in a quart of boiling water, stirring ft with a $tick, and then adding it to 5?a pail of cold water. This is odorless -and will not stain: It costs about 3 cents, "jt »»•» and, if it is thrown once a week down 1^'V.tJthe bath-tub, oloset, and stationary • wash-bowl it will be money well spent. '*•' "y ' ... • Miffht of the Mormons Broken. The backbone of the Mormon Churoh ras a faction in Utah politics is broken ,!•. and the Gentiles are making merry. h > :The Salt Lake Herald, the leading ex- P°nent saints, has passed into g'" ' Gentile hands and instead of advocating & the interests of the prophets, it will ad- "" » vecate those of Democracy. Thrje Harrest Kxnursloas. / TheBurliiiKton Route. C., B. &Q. R. B.,will ' sell from principal stations on its lines, on ' Tuesdays, Aug. 25 and Sept 15 and 2®, Har- ; vest Excursion Tickets at Low Rate* to ,, > principal cities and points in the Farming "•* •- Beglons of the West, Southwest and North- - west. For tickets and further information concerning these excursions, call on your » nearest C.. B. ft Q. ticket agent, or address P. B. Ecstis, Gren'l Pass, and Ticket Agent, •f>«| Chicago, 111. Is' ' Niagari'ii Power. r According to a scientist, the hourly •, rate of water falling over Niagara Falls is f"».« 100,000,000 tons, representing 16.000,009 - horse power; and the total daily produc- ^,s; tion of coal In tiie world would just hx :ir about 8afiice to pump the water back S a g a i n . ^ ladt returned from a foreign from a foreign torn Claims that her health was sustained by the ase of Lydla E. Plnkham'a Vegetable Oom- »°»0<L ; 4- Thkrk are more ducks in the Chinese •A'p -I, , Empire than in all the world outside' of it. ii W. H. GRIFFIN, Jackson, Michigan, writes: "Suffered n 1th catarrh for fifteen years. Hall'a Catarrh Cure oured me." Sold by Drngglata, 7Co. il It is said that of 10,757 farms in Utah ^>,72* arc made fertile by irrigation. Nervous i &V " , • Bstp^iiKia in severe form, tired and languid, as ambition, sleep Irregular, no appetite--this was my condition whea 1 began to take Hood's Sana* paril.a. From the very firs: it seemed to be Just what I needed. The nervous dy>pepsl\ has now eat.rely gone, my appeUte is excellent-, I can eat heartily without distress afterwards; I sleep welt, and < an now go about my work w thout havtac that tired feeling so frequent before I began taking the medicine. 1 have taken six bottles of Hood's Sarsaparilla aM lecoamend it a- tiie Kim of Medieinea." i. t fr'ri'ixv, President Seaman's I nio.. 196 Catherine Street Detroit, Mich. K.B. Be anre to aet Hood's Sarsaparilla. i . 1 ' : s m .M X. H. COBB. . i '•H fyr. There are plenty of good fish always " . r . - In the sea, but thousands of worthy in- land people'can niver get to the sea- ^ .• shore. • __i • Bronchitis !s cured by frequent small /" jiwmi of Ptoo's Care for Consumptloa. If anaieand lass for wealth and fama. And'less for battlefields and glory; If writ in lmmanhearts a name Seemed bettor than in song or • If men instead of nuralng pride Would learn to hate it and abhor If more relied ^ y t.j On Love to guide, j? Dm world would be the better for l|t' <•' If men dealt less In stocks and lands, And more in bonds and deeds fratemilt If Love's work had more willing hands- Xo link this world with the suuernu; II men stored tip Love's oil and wine And on bruiiicd human hearts would poor It; If "yours" and "mine* Would once combine, lite world would be the better for that seemed bora or a sigh and a (ear. J The boys at sapper heard her, and their resentment of each other's existence be­ gan again to flame in their breasts and bam d«ep!r in their eyes. None of these savages was in the least degree in love with the pretty girl, either. They might have become so, all or any of thein. The staging went en in a eooiog, soft •way that did * THE WLU OF TMe GODS.* ,{U v ' ' •"**•* i v The following true story may or may •Is Honor M^BpitfalM, <ait Bnwidra, m aot have been told in America. It is Twankrltcy now going the rottiwl of the Savage "Ephraim,"\aid HisHonor, of Brook- Club in London, lyn's Butler Strpet Poliee Court, as he j Nat Goodwin everybcily knovs; Mar- was all ready basinets, "this is a sad ' shall P. Wilder, everybody knows alsa world.* I Vli«r tkTA Kntli fc Anmailifline anil It is, sir." * What I says abont my saddle a while back, I means," said Moore, finally, If more would act the play of Lifa, trsal: ..ife Till good became more universal; play of 1 And fewer spoil it in rehearsal; If Bigotry mould sheath its ktiila nil coo" If Custom Bray with agen grown. Hf»l fewer blin i men to adorn It-- If Talent t>hona In Truth alone. . fto World would be thie better for St"""-- * 'r~ Xf men were wise in Httle things-- ibr*' • * Affecting less in all their dealings;7 If hearts had fewer runt«*d strings . . . . .. . . .'lings; It men, when Wrour Ix nts dow n tiie Bight, To isolate their kindred fw Would strifc" n yeihtr to rewtort it-- *. ..^.lit made Might In e\ try iight, , 'fbe wovltiu ouid be the better far --Nine Bedford Journal. THE HT RA^CH. BAN «Vt) S-f 'z * * * v * * ' • N*- • ^; is Lenox. T is snnsei at tiie flT ranch. Four or five cowboys sit gloomily about outside the ranch house awaiting supper. The Mex­ ican cook has just bo- gun his fragrant task, so half hour mast elapse before tlie-e Arabs are fed. Their ponies are turned into the wire pasture, their big Colorado saddles repose astride the low paling fence that surrounds the house and it is evident their tiding is over for the day. Why are they gloomy? Not a boy of them can tell. One of them is from Princeton, too. They have been part­ ners and campaneros and "worked" the BT cattle together for months and nothing ever came in, misunderstanding or cloud. The ranch house is their home and theirs has been the unity of brothers. A week ago a pretty girl,the daughter of one of the owners, came to the ranch from the East. She was protected in this venture by an old aud gnarled aunt, watchful as a ferret, sour 'as a lime. Not that the pretty girl needs watching; she is, indeed, in every move propriety's climax. No soft or dulcet reason woos her to the West; she comes on no love errand. She is e egantly and profoundly tired of tiie East--that is all--and longs for Western air and Western sights. She has been at the HT ranch a week and the boys have met her, every one. The meeting or meetings were marked by awkwardness as to the boys, utter indiffereuce as to the pretty girl. She met them as she met the poniex, cows, horned toads and other animals domestic and indigenous to Eastern New Mexico. When every cowboy was blushingly conscious of her she was purely and serenely guiltless of giving him a thought. Before this pretty girl came tl.e boys were friends and the calm tenor of their relations with each other had never a ripple, She was not there a day be­ fore each drew himself insensibly front the others and a vague hostility shone dimly in their eyes. It was the instinct of the lighting male animal aroused by the presence of the pretty girl. She, however, proceeded on her daily way, sweetly unconscious of the sentiments she awakened. Men are mere animals; women are too, for that matter, but they are very different animals from men.^ The effort the race makes to the other, better or different than beasts, fails. It always failed; it will always fail. Civilization --culture--is the veriest veneer fid famously thin. A year on the plains cracks this veneer--this Bhell--and leaves the animal exposed. This is the expanding growth of all that is animal- ish in a man: these attributes of the physical Ijeing fed and pampered by a plain existence. The dark, vague impalpable differ­ ences which cut off each of these creatures from his fellows and inspired him with an unreasonable and unmeas- urable hate had grown with the brief week of their existence. A philosopher would look for trouble soon on the HT. "What did you go take my. saddle for yesterday. Bill?" said Jack Moore to a boy by the name of BiU Watkins. " 'Cause I allows I'll ride it some," said Watkins. "Thought it might like to carry a high-grade cow-puncher, once." "Well don't take it no more," said Moore, moodily ignoring the gay in­ solence in reply. "Leastwise, don't come a-talkin' of it an' savin' nothin'. You can plaver American, „can't you? When you aims to ride my saddle agin, ask for it; if you can't talk, make signs, an' if you can't make signs, shake a "bush, but don't go to runnin' off no saddle of mine no more." " Whatever do you allow is liable to happen if I takes it agin to-morrey?" inquired Bill iu high scorn. Bill was of a more vivacious temper thau the gloomy Moore. "You takes it agin an' I mingles yith you a whole lot, mighty prompt,^re­ plied Moore in a tone of obstinate iu- jury. These boys were brothers, in affection before that pretty girl came and either would have gone a-foot all day to lend his saddle to the.other. Going a-foot, too, is the last thing, let me assure yon, that a cowboy will do. "Welt, don't you fail to mingle none," said BiU, with cheerful ferocity, "on ac­ count of its being me. I crosses the trail of the short horn like you over on the Panhandle ouct, an' puts him in the fire an' has plenty of fun with him." "Stop the play now, right yere," said Tom Kawlins, the HT range boas, who 'was sitting close at hand. "You all spring trouble 'round vere an' I'll be in jt. Whatever's the matter with all you jpeople, anyway? You're like a passel of sore-head dogs for more'n a week now. You're shorely too many for me to sabe an' I cl'ar gives you up. The boys started some grumbling re­ ply, but the cook called them to sapper just then, and, oue animalism becoming overshadowed by another, they forgot itheir ranchor and vague animosities in thoughts of supplying their hunger. Toward the last of the lepast Bawlins arose and going to another room began overlooking some entries in the ranch books. ; The pretty girl did not eat at the ranch table. She had little banquets in her own room. Just then she was in her own room, and began singing iu a low tenor some tender little love aong not bring you the words-- only the music. lr Mi tuning a dark look on Watkins. "See yere!" said Watkins in an exas­ perating tone--he was as vicious as Moore--"if you're p'intin' out for a war jig with me, don't fool 'round none for reasons, but jest let 'er roll. Come a-mnnin' and don't bother none with ceremony." "A man don't have to have no reasons for crawlin' you none," said Moore. "You're fair game, you are. Any one's liaeused to chase you 'round jest for fun an* exercise." "You can gamble," said Watkins, confidently, "any man as chases me 'round much will regard it as a thrilling pastime. He won't get fat at it, none whatever." "As you all seem to feel that way," said Moore, "I'll step out an' shoot with you right now,!' "Well! I'll shore go you," said Wat­ kins. They arose and stepped out at the door. It was gathering dark, but it was light enough to shoot by. The other cowboys followed in si­ lence. Not one said a word in com­ ment or interference. They were grave and serious, but passive. It is not good form to interfere with other people's i duel's in the Southwest. The pretty I girl was still singing and the strains I fell softly on the ears of the cowboys. ; Every one, whether on-looker or princi­ pal, felt inspired with a licking, pleased anticipation of the blood to be soon set flowing. Nothing was said of distance. They separated to about forty paces and turned to face each other. Each wore his "Colt's 45," the loosely buckied belt letting it rest low do.wn on the right hip. Each threw down his big hat and stood at apparent case, with his thumb caught in the pistol belt. "Shall you give the word or me?" said Moore. "You give It," said Watkins. "ItH be a funny passage in American history if you get your artillery to the front any sooner than I do, then." "Be you ready?" asked Jack. "Shore." "Then--go!" "Bang! bang! bang!" went both pis­ tols together, and with a rapidty not to be counted Moore got a crease in his left shoulder--a mere wound to the flesh--and Watkins fell with a bullet in his side. Bawlins, the range,boss, came running out He understood all at a look. Hastily examining Moore he dis­ covered that his hurt was nothing seri­ ous. The others carried Watkins into the house. "Take my pony, saddled at the fence, Jack," said Kawlins, "and pull your freight. This yere man's goin' ter die." " Which I shorely hope he does," said Jack, bitterly. "Ill go, though; I ain't got no use for none of these yere he shorthorns around the HT. So he took Bawlins pony and when he stopped riding in the morning it was no marvel that the poor pony hung his head dejectedly while his flanks steamed and quivered. He was almost 100 miles from his last corn and cooled his nervous muzzle as he took his morn­ ing drink in the Kio Picos, a stream far to the west of the HT. "Some shooting scrape about their saddles, miss: that's all." So reported Rawlins to the pretty girl. "Isn't it horrible!" shuddered the pretty girl in reply. The next morning the pretty girl and her gnarled and twisted aunt paid the injured Watkins a visit. This sight so affected the other three oow- boys that they at once saddled and rode away to the Northwest to work some cattle over on the Ocate Mesa. They intended to be gone three months. They looked black and forbidding as the}' galloped away. "It's a pity Jack Moore ain't no bet- ter*pi£tol shot," said one, as the pic­ ture of. the pretty girl visiting the wounded Watkins arose in his mind. "That's whatever," tassented the others. The pretty girl was full of sympathy for the strioken Watkins. It occurred to he**, too, that his profile was clear and handsome. He was certainly very pale and this stirred the depths of her feminine nature. She and her aunt came to bee the invalid every day. Once the pretty girl said she would bring him a book to read and while away the hours, which seemed shod with lead. "I can't read," said Watkins, in a tone of deepest shame; "I never learned, I should like to read, too, but there's no one to teach me. So that settles that," and the rascal expressed a deep sigh. Watkins lied. It was he who was the Princeton man. He said afterwards that this lie was the only real good work he ever did in his life. So the pretty girl came every day and gave Watkins a reading lesson, while the gnarled aunt read a book and watched them through the open door. "By the way," Baid Watkins one day, "where's Moore?" "Why!" asked the range boss, to whom the question was put. "You tell him," said Watkins, his eyes beginning to gather rage, "that" when I get out I'll be looking for him with something besides a field-glass." "Oh, no," said the pretty girl rising and coming toward his couch. Her tono showed disturbance and fear at the thought. As he gazed at her the look changed in his eyes. Hate for Moore gave place to something else. "No." he said at last. "Tell him ifs all right, Rawlins." The pretty girl thought him veiy noble. Watkins was out in five weeks and could go about the ranch. One night Rawlins thought he heard a pony ii^ the yard and arose to remedy the matter. As he stepped out a couple passed him in the moonlight. It was Watkins and the pretty girl. The caitiff's arm was round her.--San Francisco Call. Knew Wliat He Was Abont. An absent minded Philadelphia father consented to wheel the baby to the : park < in the coach, and the mother flew up-stairs to put as many unnecessary clothes on it as possible. When Bhe got down the father was gone, and she saw him in Ihe dim dis­ tance pushing the empty vehicle. . During the winter the hen may be dilatory, but she generally comes to the scratch when the garden is plant<j& , : "It wouldn't be so sad if everybody would behave himself and walk soberly and uprightly, but they want do it, Ephriam; they won't do it." "No, sir they won't." "And I'm sorry tor it, Ephraim. I should much rather be distributing -re­ wards of merit than jail sentences, but if people will persist in following the broad path we must do our duty." "We must, Your Honor, w& must." "Very well; you may bring ont No. The first prisoner out had a skinned nose and a generally sorrowful look, and ins toes had scarcely touched the mark when he said: "I never slept a wink last night, Your Honor, and as I tossed about on my bed I wondered if it really paid to be good." "Are you a good man, Mr. Johnson? "Too good, sir Thai's how it is thai everybody takes advantage of me. 1 was trying to convince a man yesterday that it was his duty to go to church on Sunday, when he hauled off and smashed me in the nose." "Five days, Mr. Johnson." "Whatl Five days for my good­ ness?" "No; for getting a drink in a Court street saloon and then telling tiie bar­ keeper to go to Texas for his pay. Pass on, Mr. Johnson, and if yon can't see the point come around again and I'll double the dose." "Mrs. O'Ronrke, haven't I seen you before ?" queried His Honor of a woman who began wiping her eyes as soon as Ephraim faced her about. "Now, Judge, I'm a poor, hard-work­ ing woman," she replied, "and I'm not to blame that me boy ^ras taken with the measles." "Measles, eh?" "Yes, sir, and the wWSt ease-you ever •aw. When he took to his bed' and be­ gan to moan and cry I went over to Mrs. O'Toole's to ask her what to do. . She's a nice lady, is Mrs. O'Toole, and she gave me a sling for poor Jimmy." "I see. The officer found you lying against a fence." "I was tired out, sir, and he wouldn't give me time to get rfested." "And I suppose the sling was lost on the street 1" "I suppose it was. Is me Jimmy in court? If so, he will come up and show His Honor a beautiful case of the meas­ les." "Jimmy isn't in here, Mrs. O'Rourke, and I make it four day* this ftraa'" • "Four days! And for what?" ' "For slinging a sling. Don't worry about Jimmy while you are up there; he'll probably follow you in a dav or two." "What's this, Ephraim ?" asked His Honor, as a bedraggled and mad- covered objeot was placed on the mark. "He's an innocent man who has been wronged sir." , "I see. His name is White. Well, Mr. White, I don't suppose you call this exactly a full-dfess suit ?" "No, sir." .' "Although the mMt in tiie suit was full himself." « "I want to leave this town, Your Honor," replied Mr. White. "Must be a hard case when a man wants to leave Brooklyn. Do you know, Mr. White, that we have the best drinking water in the United States? Do you know that our death rate is among the lowest? Haven't you heard that we have the finest schools and the most churches of any city of its size in the world?" "But I can't get along here, sir. It's the police who are down on me. Eveiy time I have an attack of vertigo they are on the watch to ran me in." "Vertigo, eh? Mr. White, what Is ft case of vertigo ?" - "Vertigo? Why, sir--why"-- "Not vertigo witii tucks and ruffles ' and scallops, bat just plain vertigo." "In the daytime or at night?" asked the prisoner. "Either oue. When did this case of yours come on ?" "About 7 o'clock in the evening, as I was walking on Atlantic avenue." "Then give me a sort of war map of evening vertigo." "Weil, sir, my head began to swim." "Yes." "And I got week in the knees." "Ieee."* "And I saw two Atlantio avennes running up and down hill, and I was about to call for a doctor when-- when"-- "When a policeman called for you, Mr. White?" "Yes, sir." "it's four days Mr. White--four days in a quiet summer reaArt, and I warrant you a complete cure of your vertigo. I have administered the remedy in hundreds of oases and never knew it to fail." "Then, sir, do I go up?" "Exactly. Vertigo --you-go. We have all got to be ou the go here, Mr. White, to keep ahe^d of business. Call the next esse, Ephraim."--New York World. More Deadly Than • Gun. A person who spent a month in a light-house says he never witnessed in a hunting trip such mortality among birds. On dartc and stormy nights the light seemed to have a powerful fascination for birds, and when the wind would permit they would circle about the tower in swarms like moths. Some would apparently try to resist the spell which drew them to the great light, but would always return. Others would come out of the darkness in a line as straight a? an arrow and strike the glass with tremendous force. Others, in en­ deavoring to shun the light, would strike the tower and fall off dead. On oue morning, after a high wind had prevailed duriug the night, 251 dead bird^ ^ere picked up. They are both excellent comedians and mimics. Mr. Wilder lias what soma people would call the disadvantage, but what others would call the great advan­ tage, of being a dwarf. He is an inim­ itable story teller and is making a for­ tune for himself in London at the pres­ ent moment. He and Nat Goodwin and Alan Forman went over together from America and Nat Goodwin was primed full of new stories, as he always is. He told them in tiie smoking room Vb*Oa|yOa»l*srPrtaiM •he Wor«r Each we«k a different three-Inch display Is published In this paper. There are no two words alike In either ad., except One word. This word will be found In the ad. for Dr. Harter's Iron Tonic, Little Liver Pills and Wild Cherry Bitters. Look tor "Crescent'1 trade-mark. Read the ad. carefully, and when you And the word send it to them and they will return you a book, beautiful lithographs and sample free. Syrup Qi'rkn Victoria has in her possession s dress woven entirely of spiders' webs which for Oneness and beauty is said to surpass the most Bplendid silk It was s gift from the Empress of lirazil in 1877. ' A Churoh Tontine. A aaoal plan for extinguishing a church debt has been hit upon in Mel­ bourne. The church committee--or vestry, as the case may be--divided the total debt among themselves and each man insures his life for the amount that falls to his share. The policies are transferred to the church, and the an­ nual payments on them are made out of the collections. Then, of course, as the members of the committee "drop off," the Bums insured on their lives drop in, and later, when the last committeeman is dead, the last installment of the church debt will be paid. The plan has the merit--if merit it be--of throwing the whole responsibility for the con­ tinuance of the indebtedness Zhr0Tjdeiui£ . .«A i ,.s» * steamer coming over and none appreci­ ated them more than Mr. Marshal Wil­ der. Wilder, when they landed in Liver­ pool went straight, to London. Good­ win stopped off at different places and did not reach the big city till ae week later. Both Goodwin and Wilder are honor­ ary members of the Savage Club and always welcome. Every Saturday night the Savage Club has what it calls the eiub dinner, and an entertainment to follow. Marshall Wilder got up ou being calUd on and told all of Nat Goodwin's stories, whieh were very well received. The next Saturday night Mr. Good­ win was present and was loudly called .for. He got up and said: "Mr. Chairman and gentlemen--Your hearty reoeption reminds me of a story of a man who was out in Texas who was tendered a reception " Here the chairman whispered husk* ily, "Marshall Wilder told that story last Saturday." Nat wai a little nonplussed but lie speedily gathered himself together and continued: "Well, probably you heard tii at story, but here is another that I think is new to this side of the water. Out in California there was a miner who had made his pile and " The chairman pulled his coat tails. "Marshall Wilder told that story last Saturday." Goodwin gave a gasp and looked vin­ dictively at Marshall P. Wilder, who was sitting in a corner hugely enjoying the discomfiture of the oomedian. "Gentlemen," said Goodwin, "your chairman informs me that you have al­ ready heard that story, but here is an­ other that I remember at the moment. The last time I was in Detroit I was up in the office of " The chairmau whispered again: "Marshall Wilder told the Detroit story last Saturday." The audience by this time was taking in the situation and a number of quiet chuckles were going the round. Goodwin stood for a moment before them speechless. Then he put up his right hand and drew his hair down over his brow. His face seemed to lengthen and his mouth widen. Be appeared to shrink as he stood before them and a hump seemed to come on his back, as his head sank between his shoulders, and to the astonishment of everybody present tliQre stood Marshall P. Wilder before them as he had done the Satur­ day night previous. "Gentlemen," said Goodwin in exact representation of Wilder's tones, "I will give you an imitation of that gifted hu­ morist, Marshall P. Wilder, telling my storires in the Savage Club." . At this there was a wild roar of laughter and applause, and Goodwin nodded to Wilder as he sat down and said: "There, Marshall, I've got even with you for once." . HtMlluR irom Citlea. The plundering of the City of Philadelphia by city officials^ the facts m regard to which are granally coming to the light, is the most deplor­ able scandal in this country within re­ cent years. It is no greater sin to steal a million dollars than to steal a hundred; and a low-bred, ignorant fellow may be as mean a thief as a man who had attained high office by his talents and the favor of his fellow-citizens. But when it appears that men who have gained public confidence by their seeming fidelity have conspired together to rob the community, and that their apparent trustworthiness was worse than a sham, the shock which is given to the country by the discovery is • grievous oalamity. What are we to learn from it? A recent article is one of our maga­ zines, written months before the dis­ closure of wrong-doing in Philadelphia, puts a great truth iuto as few words as will convey the though: "The administration of a city govern­ ment is purely a business, not a politi­ cal matter." Americans are very unwilling to learn this truth. They are persuaded not to be­ lieve it by the low politicians who would lose something of authority and power if the principle were accepted. Yet it is true. Local government is instituted to secure good police, good roads, proper drainage, efficient schools. They are simply business matters. Whenever and wherever politics are allowed to enter into local government, they are dragged in by men who have an objeot to accomplish, which is not better government but a chance for some one to feed at the "public crib." The opportunity for the wholesale robbery of Philadelphia was given by the hold which party polities lias in the govern­ ment of the city. The spoils system has struck deep root in oar country. How soon will the American people learn that good gov­ ernment is the only reason for auv gov­ ernment at all; and that the provision of places and offices for hungrv politicians is a motive too degrading to actuate any right-thinking person in his comluct as a public man Youth'H Companion. lndlall*." , The origin of "wind'a l," in the sense of "good luck." dates from the time of William the Conqueror. It was then a criminal offense to cut timber in the forests. Only such could be gathered M the wind had blown down; hence a heavy windstorm was hailed by the peasants as so much good lack, and from thi* comes the modern application of the expression. Mice oil Sheep Kuna. Many of the sheep runs iu Dumfries­ shire, a couuty in Scotland, are overrun with mice. The mice are nearly as large as rats, and tear up the plants from the roots, thus rendering further growth impossible. The piagne is attributed to the destruction by keeper* of birds which prey upon mice, ou the plea thf^t they destroy the eggs of grouae an other game bird*. Duitful Daughter--No w, mother, don't ask me to marry that uoan. I ad­ mire and respect him, bat I do not love him. Practical Mother-- Oh, that don't matter. You won't see him often upon ' enough to grow tired of him. He's a ,| politician. * 1 Thousands of cases of female disease have been treated by Mrs. Plnkham. and Of the every fact recorded. Those records are available to suffering women; private cor­ respondence solicited- Gforge C. Citrry has arrived at Van­ couver from Alaska in a dug-out canoe and it is said he is the only white man who ever made that journey in such ar r.raft. . KITS.--/ Nerve r rellouM cure*. Treatl«e ahd fMO f it cases. Send to Dr. Kilns, 181 Arch St. Phlla~ P«. G. Gloger, Druggist, WatcstMMtf Wis. This is the opinion of mm*m who keeps a drug store^ adt» dm medicines, comes in direct with the patients and their f and knows better than how remedies sell, and merit they have. He h« the failures and successes*, mm therefore judge : "I knew medicine for Coughs, Sore or Hoarseness that had deaej fective wcclc. Coughs, V family as Th^t' German Sjmp. U* winter a ladjodMI Hoarsenoss, at my store, mhm mm . * suffering feuaaawwy • severe cold. She could- . and I told her abont German pjiap and that a few doses would jpnt re­ lief ; but she had no cundHcape im patent medicines. I told fcer total* a bottle, and if the results watt satisfactory I would makeaotiwyfc , for it. A few days after she crikA and paid for it, saying. flat ' would never be without it afcHaif a few doses had given her • An unusual offer --the one that*ii made by the propri­ etors of Dr. Sage's Catarrh Remedy. Unusual, bat made in good faith. It's a reward of 1-500 for an incura­ ble case of Catarrh. If you have one, the money's for you. But you can't know whether you have one, till you've tried Dr. Sage's Remedy. What's incurable by any other means, yields to that. By its mild, soothing, oleansing ana healin_ properties, it cures the worst eases ̂ no matter of how long standing. That's the reason the money can bo offered. There's a risk about it, to be sure. But it's so small that the proprietors are willing to take it. The symptoms of catarrh are, headache, obstruction of nose, dis­ charges falling into throat, some­ times profuse, watery, and acrid, at others, thick, tenacious, macous, purulent, bloody, putrid and offen­ sive ; eyes weak ̂ ringing in ears, deafness; offensive breath; smell and taafe impaired, and general debility. Oah a few of these symptoms likely to bo present U once. its action and truly beneficial * ily f ble man to popular remedy known. Syrup of Fif is for sale In 60c and* $1" bottles "by all leading drug­ gists. Any reliable druggist who may not have it on hand will pro­ cure it promptly for any one who wishes to try it. Do not accept any substitute. CALIFORNIA FW SYRUP CII SM FRAH0I8C0, CM, tamvim. *r. new vww. «.*. IktVrTrttfG Had the Heslre* Efltoet* OlHOLLKIH, Gmb Oo., 111., Nov., *88, I highly reeommead Paitor Koanlc** N«rd To tiie to aDybodytbat taM raffared front haad. ache at; my eon did for C yeara, baoauaa 9 bottlaa of the medieine eared him. If. MCTI6UE. Lincoln, III., May, MB0, About twe yeara ago our boy w&a ourad by two bottles of Keenig'a Nai ve Tonic of St. mtaa* Danoa; alnee tben many people in thla city took it oa our rMOaamendattan, and all are well pleased with the good sffeot of the remedy. N. JUSTIN. iBBtRvau, I1L, May, 1800. My little nine-year old girl had St.Vitui' Dance tor abont a year. Two bottle* of Paitor Koe- re lonle i nlg's Nerve 1 ! eared her. Bhe had no aymp- tomi of It sinoea year. I therefore think that the Took) is aa it is ceeommended to be. AD McPEKMOTT. IKE.!. Jj^>*>0^j-1:>-e°tS B' obtala frt cs of charge. This remedy has been prepared by the ®gI2r£j &ator Koeni*. of Fort W»rue.lnd„ since ISJlani qow prepared uiid©r Me direction by tlio KOENIG MED. CO., Chicago, Ilk Sold try Drncglata at ei per Bottle. Ctelft Tjum tUa*. SU& 6 Bottle* for •©. Dyapepala II the bane ntthe pir aeiilgM* erailon. It in for Itacur*- and ItwottendanUk sick headache, constipation amHrflea, tfcst Tuffs Pills have become bo famous. They «wt gently on the digestive organs. |*fvlitjf the* lutd -vigor without grilling; or xiau*ea» PILES A NAKESIS KiveaUMtaat relief, and an lNFAiXI- BLE ' I* itK lor PICKS. Price, $i; at dinntsu or by mail, ba In*. Addrewj ••ANAKKSIS." box ujiu. New York City. disorder, build atcs tile, rest outn. iRestlo ibwli lndb power bones, clot, Rftrlig from collar to their LADIES , a sare, ipwidf « rose bloom on cIicc^mhUIhI Sold everywhere. "Crescent." Send i pamphlet. 01. HMTC1 •1MCIH11 Illinois State Medical 103 State St., CaarieMd by tha I Authorized Capital Ostfuetsd by a Full 81st et I el whesi are sets* (tones*! FOR THE EXCLUSIVE TREM OF ALL CHMMKTI Ampie facilities for Xsch Dtaeave treated by •VfeyettM*. H a specialty; Ave of oar Mat NWinf Mi • h ^ -'if ONE ENJOYS Both the method and results when Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant and refreshing to the taste, and acts fently yet promptly on the Kidneys, aver and Bowels, cleanses the sys­ tem effectually, dispels colds, head- sches and fevers and cures habitual constipation. Syrup of Figs is the only remedy of its kind ever pro­ duced, pleasing to ihe taste and ac­ ceptable to the stomach, prompt In ncial in its effects, prepared onlv from the most healthy and agreeable substances, its ay excellent qualities commend it all and have made it the most has no equal. ItknMaaHmn, GkHtm, Sfcpe ITormaaa Oar German Bye sad Ha* 81 , , many eases when pronoaaeed tnenraalai- £SS^>,%R2S!£SiSSS? IMieeta Diseases ef Men or ffwwa B •geelal prortstonmade for their tr--tsaas*. Strictest privaor maintained «sd r""* (Hiifi confidential. CONSULTATION" f* If afflicted with any disease addfcasa ILLINOIS STATE NEIHCALI * IQgHrtslfrssK MONEY ™ 111 EKU1B- KM PREACHERS AND TOOBBI Tell all t new keek tcrs On Bredeil He ww HxMaTor JudgeTha others, r~ ted). Mi rally •' SLAV* Gluteal enrwhei tar"Vaa tredaeel ssssfc&s: 1MB III iftt tranmtoM . 1 r/ ̂ $ as/above antil the Ml TAWBU*.(KxM«jor)Wartlln*ton. 1MB - r • ^ ,| i P ]». LI * Carta! f fini iMk and Writiig Paper*, Cum Hpy % ;*4 Lini nd Miilli Ptptn, Lsttef Nsts Nitfc, Bill Hills, Sta •lit* tnd Raid Ptpscm o x^jtas-A. the CASE or CAR For Samples and Prices add* CHICAGO NEWSPAPER 87. 89. 91 Jt 93 e». Jrdei»uu Sfc. M It AII.H£5fs ! Sells Toaamy tries t for kSe It, SWM •MtaYeaDftttl FIT FOLKS rv • seduction at 1 COUNTRY NEWSPAPERS Supplied with party prtated slawfe in »he i-t* tory maun"!-. Send l r khiihi »» audit»»aaaa»». THE C ICAtiO KEWSPAPKU ITS OX. Jfcw. St Sk»; and 88 South Jefferson t treet, ; jUJSAS FAflP, Lar.eatetopeev.-r rai.ed. Buy «J than will U •- (wt'croiw ev r raU ed. Buyafjuaa list tree. CHAK. K. WUOULBX. PlrilfWXOSVW - tar all W J* disabled. for incur*.**, pertenr*. Write for i.awa. A.W. A Soita, VfiSBiKaTaN. B. €• <& Cut NT SOLNSI WHEN WM1W6 TO ADY1 TT please asr jroa eaw tke sfl tii thiM papers DlSO ti KUMKDV FOlt CATaJBKH.--Beat Ea.siest tO A Cheapest. Relief is Immediate. A Jura la attain, w Cold In the Head it has no equ»L CATAR R H t, of Wfcteh a small parte!* to or seat S'A?-W to tba •£*'J' * ^ i r f * ,vi JW. ' f A "