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i. VJtS StlKE, Editor M4 tvMMkp. IIXINOIS. ^ (MER REVERIB* BT TDM HAI-U rm IMf comoca ner snnen gut: *2M«ae'but. a looking-glass would dan 1l> gaze on such a scene. Xbo olaiihes thronged her dimpled nhwtk, **»y. coursed npon h«r shonldera, eft*. And t he white neck between. A»d she was thinkinp then, I trow. Of me who in ft whispered vow, Uudcr the budding «lm. Clad Uniil h»*r they would sail their btrqat On lake* where pale stars pierce 1 " With Cupid at the helm. • •• j|*'V a fsint smile pursed her Jips Jknd shook her dHintv ti rigor tips it Iwcezee shake the bo ugh*. Mad then a quick, impatient frown <Cloii' «a( licr.ng from her ringlets And peri lied upon her brows. JUil she was thinking then, I ween, •Of a poor clumsv dunce who e'en H* 4 torn her silken dress. Be waltzed too near her at the JBtar beauty dazed him--that was He (elt a dizziness. *R»« I, and vet I tell her: T>reffli' •Of liim--give him the tender beam ; Of Mtnileti, and never frown. X by thi« verse have now confessed •'-* KdMti myself, aye. doubly blest Just u> have torn your gown." Weekly. BROWN S GREAT PERIL ,V:>< ' Port,man Brown was a prosperous, Elderly gentleman, of quSet ways and Axed habits. A small circle of famil­ iar friends supplied all his social •cods. He concerned himself little with the rest of humanity, belonging to the class who can live side by sid£ #B the same street with a fellow-crea- tare all their lives without sd much knowing them by sight. • ; f Among Mr. Brown's Hied habits %as a yearly tour. But he did not take it, like most people, in the sum­ mer months, but in the early spring. Regularly as the first week in March Same around he went abroad. A •omaionplace tour, in beaten tracks, fblkm ing the usual routine of travel An steamers and trains, and lodging at palatial hotels. No adventure had «rrer broken the uneventful record of •he.se tours for over a quarter of a oentury; no more exciting incident glanced around the carriage. He was thinking of the Parliamentlarv de­ bate he nad b»en reading and of the lost tradition of good breeding in the House of Commons, and not at all of his felkiw-travelet-s, when, on a sud­ den, his eye caught that of the man opposite curiously fixed on him. Each becoming aware of the other's glance withdrew "lis at once, not, however, before Brown's attention had been engaged. Was the man a complete Stranger, as he had supposed? Had he not seen the face before? And when? Where? Or was it merely a case of chance likeness to some ac­ quaintance? Parliamentary short­ comings passed from his mind while he racked his brain on the subject. The face was peculiar, with straight, black whiskers. During Brown's fur­ tive study of him from behind the Times the stranger turned his head sharply and the light from the win­ dow struck full on his face. With the suddenness of a flash Brown's memory was illuminated. The man opposite was the sanie who had sto<xl in the lamp-light outside the window in Harley street. There was no doubt of it--no mistaking the unusual face and remarkable whiskers On a sud­ den impulse Brown put up his hand to feel the jewel-case in his breast­ pocket- As he did so his eye met those of the stranger, fixed on him with a peculiar expression. By a chain of reasoning of which he felt ashamed, Brown, before reach­ ing Brussels, decided on changing his usual hotel, the Bellevue, for the less known Nassau. Setting out for the latter, he lost sight of his fellow- traveler on the crowded platform of the station. Fixidity of habit of a creed can ,not be lightly renounced. Brown was miserable at the Nassau, simply be­ cause it was not the accustomed Bellevue. Discontent with himself and everything else was the result. "What an ass I have made of my­ self about that man!" was the burden of his thoughts while smoking his after-dinner cigar. "His being in the train was a mere coincidence. He probably has never cast a thought about me. I must walk this non­ sense out of my brain." As Brown left the room he passed at the door a late guest being ushered in to a solitary dinner. With a cer-ttian an unusual overcharge at some ftotel had come within Portman tain revulsion of feeling he recognized his fellow-traveler, the object of his thoughts. The earliest train for Cologne next morning saw Brown's departure from Srovn's personal experience. In 18--, when March came around, fee made the usual preparations for fcis yearly tour in his usual way. On tbe evening before his departure an j Brussels--an alteration in his usual std city friend, Mr. Goldsmith, dined j program, which always included a day vith him at his house in Harley \or two in that bright capital. The street. , When about to leave Gold- j closest scrutiny of the train did not smith drew a small case from his i discover his bugbear; there, was no jpjeket. j sign of him in Cologne. "I brought this with me on the j A tranquil night in his accustomed *ifeance that you were going to Cannes. ! notel restored Brown's mental bal­ lon will do me a great favor by giv-! ance. Reverting to his usual habit Jng it into my brother's hands there. took his way by boat up the Rhine. Zt contains a brilliant of such rare -t Spending one night at Mayenge, the "Value that I could intrust it to few. j following found ^ him at the Three lit will give you no trouble, being so j Kings in Bale, his last resting-place there is no risk, as no one will you have such a thing with -"Anything to oblige a friend," said Sroora lightly. "I would take a •KcAlnoor as a traveling companion •finder the same circumstances." 7%e two men were standing at the ; mooning couple who sat near, hold- "ffrtnfy window, the blind of which 1 jnS each other's hands and Whisper- '%aj»pened to be up. While in the act i *n£ together, could not breed disturb- ~sf placing the case in his pocket j *nce- The Pale spectral might-have- 'BRIWB"« eyes wandered to the street. : .Jkt the moment the light from a lamp aftn front of «the door struck on the face before Lucerne. In the pleasant coolness of a moon- j light night he sat on terrace of the hotel, overlooking the Rhine. His mind was undisturbed as the peace­ ful scene around. The slight stirring of sentimentality inspired by a honey- * a man iwho was passing, or had he •seen standing there--a peculiar, dafk ^ tCace. with straight black whiskers. Cv- * The man moved on. Brown drew * -^ack hastily. "Non^-of .your -people knew that Vfw® were giving ime this commis- }-0k>rkT'1 he inquired/of-Goldsmith. "Not a soul, my dear fellow; the fatter is entirely between you and 'itee. My clerk alone knows of the •K, •xislence of the brilliant." -"What Is he like?" ^ J „ ""Lake you--like me. Respectability T • %Jbsetf! What are you thinking of?" 7 he black whiskers?" : , "Gray as a badger--white even! JBut, bless rav soul, what is the mat- WJhat you mean? Have you ~|ieeis.ajBy one?" beens raised by the of wedded happi­ ness moved his elderly heart in the gentlest possible manner. An audi­ ble sigh escaped him when the de­ parture of the lovers left him, as he thought, alone. A slight movement, however, made him look around, breaking the chain of his sentimental reflections. For the first time he be­ came aware of another man on the terrace. At the moment this indi­ vidual rose from his chair, which stood far back under the verandah, and, moving into the clear moonlight, paused at the stone balustrade looking the river. He ren there pensively watching the flowing waters beneath. To Brown's eyes were abruptly revealed the face and figure of the man with the black whiskers. The shock Was tremendous. Its ever, when the heroic situation reality. Our consequent action liable to be quite different, too. position in which Brown now found himself might well have applied to the bravest. He was alone in a railway carriage with a scoundrel who had followed him from London. Brown had utterly abandoned sur- mire since last nihgt, and accepted each idea as an absolute certainty-- the object in this scoundrel's view was the capture of the valuable dia­ mond which was at that very moment on Brown's person. A long journey lay before tliem and Brown was un- •armed. At this review of the situa. tion his heart sank; he drew back in* stinctively into the corner. His eyes suddenly met those of the other inah; a deep flush suffused his face, which seemed to find reflection in the other's. Brown hastily took; up Baedeker and affected to read; the man opposite simultaneously did the same--a transparent unreality on both sides. Brown's furtive glances invariably caught--quickly With­ drawn though they were--those of the other men leveled on him. While this went on the slightest change of position, the least movement in the opposite corner made Brown sta#t»;. Might it not herald the approach bf danger? A spring, a rush, the at­ tack? The tension was terrible to remain, inactive--almost impossible. Brown had an inspiration, as a man in ex­ tremity sometimes does. Though hie' was not armed he would pretend to be. That might do something--pro­ duce hesitation or delay, at least, Ac-; cordingly he deliberately assumed a bold, even threatening demeanor. Casting a truculent glance across the carriage, he plunged his hand into his pocket, affecting to grab ah- imaginary revolver^ To his intense, delight the ruse (took immediate ef­ fect. The man opposite gave an un­ mistakable start and shrank -back into his corner. So far so good. But how to keep up the pretense? What to do next? At this crisis the whis­ tling of the engine suddenly distracted Brown. Good heavens! He had for­ gotten the long tunnel! They were coming to it now! His eyes, with a. quick, Involuntary movement, sought the lamp. It was not lighted! Entrapped! Doomed! The wildest thoughts rushed confusedly to his brain. With a shriek the train plunged noisily into the tunnel into darkness. The din and rattle'outside contrasted sharply with the silence within the carriage. Crouched in his-^ corner Brown, his hearing sharpened to agonizing acuteness, listened for a stir, a rustle, the sound of human breathing drawing nearer to him. Every moment fancy detected a step-- a stealthy, catlike movement. His imagination, after the neglect of a lifetime, was now taking ample re-» venge. Uncontrolled and uncontroll­ able were its wild flights. Every rail­ way murder of which he had eyer heard flashed upon him with all the ghastly details. The spring upon the victim, the struggle, the death-stroke, the body thrown out on the rails. How idly he had read of these things hap- pening to other men! But now*tb realize himself as the victim, his the body! Absolute panic seized upon him; hardly Rowing what he was doing he tried softly to open tlje door. It was locked, however. His movemetfts siust have been heard; there was a stir at the other end of the carriage. The fatal movement' had come; the assassin w.as advancing to the attack. In the extremity; o{ his terror Brown sank swiftly to the floor and crawled under a seat. . < For what length of time he crouched there, half stifled, scarcely daring to breate, Brown knew not. Agony cannot measure time. u A ^tidi den and extraordinary rush 6f a,ir made his heart at once stand still," and then sent the blood coursing wildly through his veins. The fair over- j door was swinging open! Something " t had happened! And what? . V-- • ' His straining ears detected no sound but the outside rattle atid; of the train through, the tunnel; within all was silence. He re­ mained listening in intense excite­ ment and amazement until the hope suddenness was too much for Brown, j which had hardly dared to stir in hi$ fA man was standing there by the ! On the moment, without a pause for breast grew into vigorous life. He was «lamppost as you handed me the jewel- • Case- He was apparently looking at •m&, and might have heard what we ^ -said.' ^ „ "Then he must be in the street - , said Goldsmith, throwing up window and putting his bead out. , i»rtiwn did the same. The night was ^ V; *t»righi* Not a soul was to be seen v: : amy where; the street was quite de- ;; . -tfBerted. ^ ' 'A neighbor or a neighbor's butler. , • ^He has gone into some house." Gold- . &, smith withdrew from the window. -L any case, no one could have lieard, nor, I should think, have seen As for my clerk, Travers, I ffeoetst myself an honest man, but I *a4an;t hesitate to ackowledge that he s, :' .-JpB xhe ihonester of the two. Your tSaoagrnation is playing you tricks. I j tilidn't know you were given that way. iPerhaps you would rather not take - 4V ' jcbarge of the brilliant?" "T'vC'f', ®ut' ®rown would not hear to this, i Already shamefaced over his hasty , . squid somewhat ridiculous suspicions Iflfee dismissed them abruptly. [.. 4'Not for worlds would I give up H rilie charge,"' he said. "I'm not such if* . jM. fool as I seem. The man probably *S* one of the new. neighbors; there v. -au* a -good many newcomers' in the -^street. t Portman Brown set out next morn- ulng for Lucerne via Brussels and the .. BAiine, staying a few days at Ostend an the way. He took his place in the \ ande»iable comfort of a first-class Wf 3 carriage in the express to Brussels araind as free from care and an.easiness as elderly gentleman ever .<possessed. A life of plain, undiluted . prose had up to this kept his imagin- native faculties in complete abeyance; tenatics. hypnotists, murderers, etc., t possible fellow-ttravelers had never thought, before taking in whether or not he bad himself been seen he hurried stealthily from the terrace, and, seeking his room, only breathed freely again when he was safely locked within it. alone in the-carriage! He was savehl Deliverance had come miraculously-- why and how he knew not. The tunnel was coming to an end; light began to stream into the cat*- riage. Cautiously and slowly Brown All the clear reasoning by which he 1 peeped from under the seat. He Was hjid convinced himself of the ground- j quite alone. The man had disap- lesfsness and folly of his alarm at Brussels was »now overthrown and swept out of sight. He was shadowed peared. The fact of his escape was at the time enough for Brown. Afterward, by the man below. That was beyond j in thinking over the adventure, he a doubt. Whoever he was, the secret surmissed that the man, deceived by of the diamond was known to him. his (Brown's) attempt to turn ' thdi Either chance or design had made handle of the door, had followed in him acquainted with it on that night j supposed pursuit. m I luni tp the| «| ,of % presence f&ti pretend til as m ..^'ONd tteiw_ *--r.,_ out--ia jr< ality crawling under £eat instead- The ruse saved his He supposes that.he fainted in the stifling air, for whien he was next conscious the train had feft Olten and he was alone jfli the carriage, fro.i>i y.-hich all t races of jihe lupatic had disapjieared." . , , ilones was sd engrossed' Jin telling the story hei did not remark its curious and startling effect on Brown. , ^ust then the door tbjxjwp open, land the footman , anjwuncetl, "j^tr^Leroy;"/ ' . t tn'. . s l^ones, springing forwainl with effv^ sion to greet the newcomer, letj him gushingly Up to Brown. , ' ,,., , "You must know each other,", jbie Md. . And they did. The recognition, was instantaneous on_ both sides. Witji agasp Brpwn stared in speech­ less wonder on the man wjth the black whiskers, while Leroy smarted, britk aghast on encountering the giaze, Ot the lunatic.--LomUm Truth \ r in Hatley street. Never within the whole course of his experience in foreign parts had Brown passed a more wretched night; the morning found his neves in a bad state. He, who had never before known himself the possessor of nerves. The flgety man who made fussy ar­ rangements about starting by the first train for-Lucerne, and whose eyes had a way of casting furtive --not to say apprehensive--glances around, was strangely unlike the self- satisfied, phlegmatic Briton who had arrived the evening before at the Three Kings. • Che success of his manner in leav- At the station, just outside the tunnel, Brown, alighting almost be­ fore the train had stopped, changed his place for one in a crowded second­ hand compartment. A few hours later the brilliant was safely trans­ ferred from his charge into that of Goldsmith's brother at Lucerne. The rest of his tour was unevent­ ful; he neither Jieard nor saw his per­ secutor again. / • • • #. • » » '4 1 Brown's advetrtufe made quite a sensation on his return to London. He was the hero of the. hour circle. Whether or not Is CMHIWI *rult Injurious? ' •' "Did it ever occur to yofa that maybe you ai*e eating toofnwich cafinefl fruit?'" ask&l a lady of her ftiend, who was complaining of indigestion, weakness and a generally good-for- nothing feeling. "There seems to bfe' a growing idea amoflg physicians and observing persons that a great amount 6f canned fruit--that is, the cbnstatttj use ofvit---does harm. Just why 0r! how I have not heard discussed." ; •"Well,-1 have given some attention to the subject," Was the reply, "and I think I have solved a certain phkse of the mysterious reason. •'I think whatever injury may result from its use is traceable directly to the cans. I know numbers of persons who merely wash out new jars, then® put their fruit in, and close them up. I recall being at the house of a friend who was very fond of fruit, and always canned a great quantity. Oire even­ ing at her house, I tasted a little of the berries she had just poured into the dish, and as I closed my teeth to­ gether I crushed a bit of the thinnest, most delicate shell glass. It was only a small piece, but quite enough, had I swallowed it, to produce serious, if not fatal results. My friend was amazed when I told her of the conse­ quences of such a fragment entering the stomach. Then she began to think intently. Some years before^ she 'had lost a child. It had alwayB been rather delicate, but never seri­ ously ill, but had no appetite, and seemed to lack vitality. It HS'cd al­ most entirely on canned fruit-- berries, cherries, and the like--but complained of almost continuous sharp pains in the stomach and bowels. After a time, she grew worse And finally died, the dpctoi said of consumption of the bowete. The mother was very unhappy When she came to consider the possibiliti«| of the case, and at Once consulted several eminent physicians on th« symptoms of the little one. They all agreed in the belief that bits dT thie glass had been the direct cause of the child's death." ' \ •'Tlie mother's first impulse was to give up {?lass cans/altogether; but after some experiments she became satisfied that a little care and atten­ tion in the preparing of the cans made them perfectly safe. • Before the cans are used, a handful of shot should be put in and thoroughly shaken about. Of course, it must be carefully done and the shot must be small, or the can will be broken. A Chain dish-cloth, such as is found oi should be found in every well-regu­ lated kitchen in the land, is one ol the very best articles for Clearing the cans of the tihin shell-glass Whicfi coities from bubbles of air forming when the glass is blown. Examine every glass carji and yoii will see thesfe bubbled alKhrdught it. If thej' art ver£ thin on the inside the heat ol the 'boiling fruit may and very llk^lj will crack off some pieces of glass, which "will become mixed with th< frtnt and is often eaten or swallowed under the impression that it is a bil of sand pr grit. Cans, a'fter one year's use, are not likebe dangerous tic JieUlth fHm this cause, btlt even ther many 'housekeepers of the extra pa* tfcular sort go over thea with slicN or chain-cloth WhfeneveV lftey arfeitc be replied. ' « •'Caiined friiits should not be toe sweet. A pleasarit, slightly tart flavor is best. And if proper care1 fa taken that in cooking no metal eomei in contact with the fruit, and if the cans are thoroughly freed from Shell' glass, I believe after a free indulgence in such fruits for many years that il is-not only not injurious but is emi- nently wholesome and beneficial, aa it pertainly is delicious and convenient^ --New York Ledger. i the circumstances exactly as here. set lie Wnsn't Deaf. it Is never wise to presume Upon the misfortunes of others, and nulny a person has come to grief by saying things which he did not wish over, heard by the very ears which have been most quick to cajtch them. The only 'safe rule, says the Boston Courier, is not to say things which one would not be willing that Everyone present should understand. ^ A gentleman whp has been afflicted' with deafness returned home from 'a in his j visit to the city, and soon after went he related | to call on a lady of his acquaintance. ing Brussels made him repeat it, and, i forth need not be mentioned. His besides, he was in perfect fever to friend Jones, among others, gave &- KSSi get to the end of his journey and rid himself of the charge of the diamond. His spirits rose considerably as the hour of the train's departure drew near without any appearance of the "shadower" in the station. Brown remained on the platform until the last moment; then, with a fervent sigh of relief, he entered the railway carriage. The train was just moving off when the door was suddenly opened and a breathless SBtered bis mind. As a rule, indeed, porter dashed in a handbag and par- • fcSa fellow-travelers no more excited ; Iris interest or. notice than his near • welghbors at home. On this occasion lie was just conscious on leaving the station at Ostend that an elderly •couplewere theotheroccupants, of the eel of rugs, followed by a still more breathless traveler. The door was shut, the engine shrieked the last de parting signal, and the train moved from Bale station. In one corner of the carriage sat Brown; in another carriage. He merely gave a passing; the farthest of the opposite side--sat .glance , from his, newspaper at the | the man with the black whiskers! man, a stranger, who got in. at Burges How often--in fancy--we place and sat down on the opposite seat. | ourselves in heroic situations, and Nearly an hour had passed before i there--in fancy--act with invariable fad I lieroUm^lt is quite different, iww- dinner party in his honor. Broyrn, with his usual punctuality, Was .the first of the guests to arrive. : • j 'By the way," Jones said ch^fingly to him, as the two stood chatting! to­ gether on the hearth rug, "you must look to yo\ir laurels to-night, Brown. Do you know .Leroy, your neighbor in Harley street?" 'Never met the man in my life. What's the joke?" A rival adventure. In Switzer­ land, too* And culmiaating in a tu*- nel--not sure it wasn't the Olten one also." • ' . "Dear me! , What an extraordinary coincidence! "In his case it was a lunatic,tnot a robber. He was shadowed at* tfeotels and in trains. You must hdaf; t he story from his own lips; he's dining here to-night. The climax is tqrriflc Shut into a railway carriage alon^ with a lunatic-T-afojrpaid lunatuihitoed With a -vevolv$*. A long tw (COTTON /BLOSSOM CHJR SHINDIG WATKINS PUTS ASHES UPON JUMPBACK TAYLOR- !**• Offer* flam* Walffhty AP- ffnm«tit» to Brother Parker Ihe SntM jeat of Plain EnrlUh--Tlie Club DMINI to ^noourase tlm Soft. Sad Strains of 4«eortl«oa-l utMUHf ' Cmo«tiut« TII. Cntiuinbor*. Some time since Shindig Watkins happentxl to empty a i«m of ashes out pf the alley window on the north side Watermelon Hall just as Junipback Taylor was passi ng along. Brother Taylor' didn't get quite all the ashes In the pan, but was just as indignant as if he had, and on five different oc­ casions he has been heard to say that if he ever caught Shindig out in Harlem he would make him unhappy all the rest of his born days. At the Saturday night meeting, and a minutes before it was called to order, Jumpback was told that Shindig had recei ved word that his poor old mother, who lived down in South Carolina, was no more. He at once went over and offered his hand and asked that the chasm be bridged, and two min­ utes later all was joy and peace. It turned out that Shindig's mother died thirteen years ago, but Jump- back's heart was melted over the news just the same, and the two will here-: after be like brothers again, BROTHER. PARKER DISCIPLINED.-- When the meeting had been duly opened, Brother Gardner asked if Brother-Welcome Parker was in the hall. He was, and promptly arose |*nd advanced to the President's desk. "Brudder Parker," said the Presi­ dent, '1 was in a grocery de odder evenln' when yo' was buyin' fo' dozen clothes-pins an' a pound of sugar." ,4Yes,-sah." "Doorin' de ten minlts I had my eye ort (yo' I heard you make use of sich words as 'impugn,' 'desideratum,' •transformation,'an' 'eliminate.' Had yo' any speshual object in dat, Brud- der Parker?" "Why, sah, I alius talks dat way." "Yo' do, eh? If I happens to be in a butcher-shop an' yo' cum in I needn't be surprised to hear yo' ob- sarve dat yo' reckon you'll dehunciate a reprehensible affiliation of soup- bone to eliminate an inconsistency? Is dat de ideah, Brudder Parker?" ••Yes, sab; yes sah." w A MISSING MEMBER. He found her at home,, and with hei a cousin of here who was paying her visit. The hostess received him with Roliteness and introduced him to her cousin, but to the introduction she added, in a;'perfectly audible tone: "He's a good rhan enough; but he's rrfbly stupid and as dpafasa post." Tbte gentleman chahgea color A little. "I may be stupid," he said, "but 1 am no longer as deaf as a post, for 1 have been cured during my absence, and I can hear as well as anybody.? It is needless to say that the cal) was rather awkward after the opening. An Oswego man stole 5 cents worth of sugar of a grocer sixteen years ago, and a few days ago he went into court, pleaded guilty and requested 'to be fined $10 and costs so as to dear his conscience. A man with as much conscience as that shotild be closely Watched ' '1"' l^ATUI but tbauj ̂ so perf( »V." tviiVii msh, an* dat hMt keer tm chicken, an' his f||B affairs wai plewpnt, an' he haiPiihy reason U den we^ll Sorter suspect d«it he might possibiy Jiev bin drowned in de sea. No hurry, though. Give him plenty of time tc come up an' float ashore." Elder Jackson then arose in search oi information. He was a charter membei of the Club, and he had attended ever} meeting thus far held, but up to date he had heard nothing said about the transit of Venus, a matter in whicfc he was deeply interested. Did the Club know that there was going to be another transit in about two weeks? Bid it wish to send him up to High Bridge to observe and report? Was it possible, as he had heard hinted on several occasions, that the Cotton v-Yr i f i -*> 'W; ELDER JACKSON ARISES.« POPU1 ICIENCE. "Wasn't yo'freah one night 'bout fo' weeks ago when I requested all members of dis club to make use of plain English language?" "I Was, sah; but I cant help but use big words. Dey cam naeheral, sah.n "Oh, dey does? Is givatUaai Jones beah to-night?" "Yes, sah." "Brudder Jones, yo1 will accompany Brudder Parser to cle' auntv-room. Dis seems to be a case whar' de i>osi- tiyity of de neutralization 'pears to call fur' an isolashun of de impet­ uosity." The tWo retired. Half an hour later Brother Parker slid in by the fi^ide door and told Judge Chewso that he had decided never to again make use of any bigger words than molas­ ses or stomach bitters. ELECTED AND REJECTED.--The bal­ lot-box was passed by Sir Isaac Wal- pole in his usual courteous and dig­ nified manner, and Far-Off Johnson, Uncle White, Moses Williams, Deacon Green, Judge Holden, Sunrise Watson and Admiral Hastings were declared" duly.ejected. In sending for their Certificates of membership they must inclose twenty-five cents extra if they want a rabbit's foot to keep ghosts awayr. , The Committee on Application an­ nounced an unfavorable report on the ition of Elder Drawbar Baker, of Lynchburg, Va. It has been learned from a reliable source that the Elder stood charged with collecting money to varnish the front door of a church and using the same to buy a pair of buff shoes for his wife and a linen duster for himself. Also, on the application of Judge Sooner Henderson, of Terre Haute, Ind., who is charged with having stolen a hog and a bag of dried apples and sold them for money to buy an ac<x>rdian. The Club desires to en­ courage music, and especially the sad, soft strains of the accordion, but the hogs and dried apples of this country must be held even more sacred than music. A MISSING MEMBER.--A communi­ cation from Asbury Park announced that the Hon. Ambulance Jones, a imember of the club in good standing at that place, had been missing for two weeks, and there were many reasons for believing that it was a case of foul play. The Secretary was ordered to open a correspondence and seek to ascertain-- 1. Did the missing brother handle any cash for other folks? 2, If so, is there a shortage? 3, Has the Torpedo Chicken been introduced to Asbury Park as a hen­ roost protector? 4. If so, has any person picked up a ?tray tooth, toe-nail, lock of hair or other evidence of a sudden and un­ expected explosion. - "Dar' ain't no call to get excited 'over dis matter jist yet," said Brother Gardner. "It is'nt safe to even pass a resolushun of sympathy fur his be reared bidder. If ty turns out dat Blossoms didn't care a continental whether Venus transited or stuck to the old pasture. The elder was grow­ ing excited when Brother Gardner brought the gavel down with a smash and shouted: t "Elder Jackson, sot down!" . "Yes, sah, but I. wants informa- shun, sah." "An'yo'll git a hull bar'l of infor- mashun right off! I want to say to yo' an' all odder members of dis club dat we hev nuffln whatever to do wid Venus, Transit, High Bridge or any other Heavenly body! We all know dat de price of whitewashln' has gone down ten per cent, while 'taters are a dollar a bushel, an' mighty firm at dat. When I diskiver a member of dis club foolin' away his time on ob­ jects 90,000,000 miles away, while his oldest gal has to go bar'fut, an' he can't lend a neighbor a drawin' of tea or a taller candle, dat pusson is gwin to be tooken wid a sudden desiah to hand in his resignashun an' git down sta'rs!" This announcement created no slight sensation among the members, and Samuel Shin took advantage of it to throw a turnip, which struck Elder Toots in the neck and jumped him up with an offer to fight Judge Cadaver and Admiral Bumbo with one hand tied behind him. THE LIGHT THAT FAILED.--All ar- aTangements had been perfected for the Hort. Snowball Baker, of West Virginia, to addess the meeting, or, rather, to deliver his celebrated essay, entitled: "Supposin' de Oocoanut an' de Cowcumber Was to Trade Places?" He arrived here Friday evening and borrowed a white shirt of Waydown Bebee and a pair of sus­ penders of. the Rev. Penstock and in­ formed everybody that he should make the effort of his life. Saturday afternoon, however, while paying a call at the cabin of Elder Shipback Hartwell, he helped himself to what he supposed was extra dry wine. It proved to be be extra wet liniment, which the Elder had compounded to rub on his mule's leg, and at this writing the Hon. Jgjiowball is still lying on the parlor nOor in a pictur­ esque but dazed condition. Brother Gardner explained the situation of affairs, and added: . "I doan reckon we has lost much by de failure to h'ar dat leckture. A pusson who hasn't 'nuff talent to tell de difference between sunthin' good fur himself an' sunthin' good fur a mewl can't be much of a logishun. As soon as he is able to walk he will be headed towards Buffulo an' told to trabble. We will now abscound to our varus homes."--New York World. New Kinks in Electricity. In 1885 there were three electric roads in existence, with an equipment of thirteen cars. There are now in operation or under contract 325 roads, with 4,000 cars and a daily carrying capacity of three-quarters of a billion passengers. In the United States the horse-car traffic is carried on: Two-thirds by horsepower, one-fourth by electricity, one-sixteenth by dum­ mies and one-twentieth by cable. An average of cost gives, per car, mile: 18.16 cents for horse, 18.12 cents for electricity and 14.12 cents for cable. You won't never have no acci­ dents if you don't never take no risks," was the wise dictum of a wit­ ness of a recent electrical accident. Experiment in fixing the longitude of Montreal, undertaken at McGill College, necessitated the opening of a circuit by cable and land lines to Greenwich and return. Some two hundred signals were sent, and the average time for the round trip of nearly 8,000 miles was 1.05 seconds. An English woman has written what is declared to be the best popu­ lar exposition of the science of elec­ tricity up to date. She is Emma Marie Caillard. Electric welding has been reduced to the utmost exactness in shops where formerly all the clumsiness of fire-welding prevailed. Leader water pipes may be weicled butt joints on. The use of a flux is not necessary. There is some question whether the Broadway road will ever run the cable now going in. It is thought that by the time the roap is ready that an electric car far more cheaper will be on the market. An invention for factories enables any person in any part of the factory to stop the main engine by the touch­ ing of a butten, the wire connecting with the engine governor. In cases of mishap tJhis is a very useful device "I'm not in it!" said the traveler, as he stood on the -platform and watched the last Coney Isian tSi y%* lis ]^rudtq§r Jones was ail right W his disappear in the distanc* THK star AieWtfe is eleven one-half million times as far away as the.sun, and if our sun were placed at that enormous distance its diame­ ter would have to be eighty-two times as great in order to give a light equal to that received from Arcturus. Arcturus must/be a gigantic sphere, 550,000 times'larger than our sun, with a diameter of TO,000,000 miles, or more than large enough to fill the t/^ entire orbit of Mercury. ,-,'j AN idea of the tremendo®# pene- % trative force of a projectile hurled ^ from a powerful gun can be gained » ^ jj from the fact that * a projectile re-,,, cently from a 110-pouder in England , passed successively through a twenty- V f inch steel plate, eight inches of iron, tu ? 4 twenty feet of oak balks, five feet of granite and eleven feet of concrete, 1 being finally stayed in its path of de- ^,*4 struction by a mass of brick masonry. 4* \| into which it made its way to a , «. ^ depth of three feet. « ; IN the course of an investigation 'f"M part of which has already been com- ' ^ municated to the Royal Society, Prof. ! |T Roberts-Austen has discovered the J i most brilliantly colored alloy as yet : >?«|1 known. It has a rich purple color, and bright ruby tints are obtained ' when light is reflected from one sur. face of the alloy to another. It con- , tains about 78 per cent, of gold, the rest of the alloy being aluminum. The * constants of the aluminum-gold , series of alloys are now being exam* ined and will shortly be published. 5 THE carp carries his teeth back in his throat, so that when he has a,I- "M sore throat he does not know whethei" to send for the doctor of the dentist. , \ f<^ He resembles the cow in the respect that he chews his cud. It a .pity that some of the other virtues of the cow do not also pertain to the carp, for he would be a much more useful ^ fish if this were so, although it would be possible for him to give milk, as does our good bovine friend, owing to the certain destruction of every drop of it by the river in which he lives, and which, as many of the readers oi this paper know, is full of water. A DIRECT observation of hail in ffi :;|| the process of form ation is recorded , . '.-S in the Naturw, Rundschau. In the 1 ^ a f t e r n o o n o f a s q u a l l y d a y , P r o f . ^ Tosetti, looking eastwards through^ | the window of a house (in Northern 1 Italy) which, with two others, en- --f closed a court, saw the raia, whicb • streamed down from the roof to the Y7^ right, caught by a very cold wind from the North, and driven back ^Jif and up in thick drops. Suddenly a ':;' South wind blew, and the drops, . t tossed about in all directions, were :.a/. ;X transformed into ice balls. When'/. 1V the South wind ceased, this trans- ; - Aj formation also ceased, but whenever . , the South wind recurred, the phe- _ nomenon was reproduced, t(nd thi*^ was observed three yr four times ih'H ten minutes. ^ . •• I Ml . " f '"•-I . Mrulii at m BalL . A pet bear belonging to Dewltt Mc- ># Dowell, of this city, which had beenyjf taught to open doors, shake hands,? dance, etc., escaped from his cage and for a time created consternation ^ among a large number of people. j A fashionable ball was in progress ^ * at the time, and bruin was attracted^, ^ by the music. There was a funnj^. ' S scene in the ball room when he en-f tered, and raising himself on his hind* 7 legs, volunteered to shake hands witb^ ' a number of persons, and then began^; ^ to dance. There was a grand rusb ;• for the doors, and several ladies ** attempted, to jump out of the win./ - r dows. After he had finished his waltz the; * ; ; bear was coaxed from the room and then began to paint the town and* j ~ succeeded in frightening half the in-f ^ J habitants almost out of their senses."' * 1 Entering the St. Charles hotel he^| | climbed the stairs and wabbled intc \ p one room after another, routing out^f j the guests in their night clothes and,..^ incidentally daqjaging the furniture, Having had all the fun he wanted with the guests, he returned into street and proceeded to amuse him.^ self by trying to ente!r the residences of the solid citizens. Being closed tcs ,| | uninvited guests he was unable to ef- *2 N feet an entrance into any of them, " *• A but he convinced the inhabitants ^ *; that burglars were at work, and one alarm after another was sent in to,, the police station, until every officer" ,< on the force was on the trail of the , I marauder. J Meeting one Henry Foster on the ^ £ street he struck him a playful blow on ; | • > the side of the head, knocking him down and making some ugly wounds.^,;;; Finally he entered the National Bank " ' building through a side hallway,, k climbed the stairs to the third flooi . and walked into the room of Julius^jf * | Behrend. That gentleman jumped'--*^ from bed prepared to shoot a burglar, 1 fj- but when he saw what it was he - rushed into the hall and shut the f',f; i bear in, where he was soon afterward^ > captured.--Philadelphia Press. HnsbaiMl and Wlf«, It is by no means a new that a man and a woman who haven been married a great many years grow to resemble each other, not only" in manner and voice, but actually as '* > to features and expression. A recent number of the Ittustrirtt r\ Welt has an article on this subject, ^ : which states that the photographic ' ! association of Geneva has quite lately - been investigating the truth of this - * theory by the aid of the camera. The photographs of seventy-eight elderly or very old married couples were taken, and an-equal number, ^ of family groups^ , The result proved quite satisfactory , jj to holders of this theory, inasmuch as,, ^ in twenty-four cases the resemblance: 1 f - between husband and wife Was much t , * greater than that between brother and sister, and In thirty cases more ^ it was fully as great. / , H The failure of the other twenty-four ^ old eouples to realize the expectations . '• of those interested in the matter is supposably due to "incompatibility of ^ disposition," which time was appar- " 2 ently unable to combat in its effects. And stfoh Is Lira. A man who had fought in two wars, * been in three railroad accidents and ^ *' four shipwrecks, skirmished with the Indians, and killed tigers in their ^ native jungles, went to sleep on the " ^ w i n d o w s i l l o f h i s h o m s e , f e l l e i g h t r feet on a sodded plat, and was killed.' as completely as if he bad been fired • out of a cannon. sill llitfl -t .u W $ • yP?i W* (tf late. t . £J*., - i ^ ,> V •• •