Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 18 Nov 1891, p. 6

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i. VAH tlYKE, ttltfr Mtf PuWUIar, ILI4NOIB. SONG OF THS SB*, > iMr world was a world of enchantment, w A wonder of lnniinoiia light > iDtoanaleM nioni w*aabtith«8oma I Meacned for th® song of the ##a. ; " ! \ ' Ckw allowed me the marvelous flowers » ~ JlM frnita of their aun-b«a.ton laud*; ; Wtoyaald: -Hew an tine tangled vaH»f«j : fmrt ye the bum white aandi; flat unto tbe spirit '&«•» •"fc ot the breakers must ba; ipj VR> await ye beside our hlu« watara; - ; It th« b»<1 song of the sea." E.- -si 'iM t wrapped me about in the Runltgtyt, OB tbe marge of a dimpling atresia, n-" v.v •. •' there in a i angle of 111 tea ^ I wore me a beautiful dream; % Jw< • aong from my dreamland went OMtftNt; v:-v.' /'ilRBr op wliero the angel* muat be, Stt deep in i ta under vibratlona tbe sweet aong of the tea. dew in hi* lock* all a-glltter, • * ' • Tfce Prince of the Daytime lav dead V. •wr tbe ailver-white lance of the twiligjlp ^taMwoff UM«OU orowti from his heU; 4HB< tbe Prin^eaa of Night came to see him; Her light* all about bin] to hang; . 4Mtnptii«il«acreetxl in tbe thicket , • fHta wag t-o the slumbering sang. |Mtl» etream from the tangle of Miter, • :» .©MOe winding its way through the Nd0(; toda *ilvery nocturne it rippled JJMOnS the tall flags on the edge, mm Mbte I fain would have given . y jpwHtie rteep-w«olng sea voicet lull, '<£•4 tbe nightingale's aong would have MftMWl desolate cry of agulL • 'world WM a world of enchantment And tney laughed with the laughter at -JTban I turned me away fr^ni its beauty A: . In the light of the hmiiuona morn; p:'~- What I beard a grand voice m the distanQA •Insistently calling to me, . £i '^tod 1 rose -with a jublilant spirfc r 'And followed the song of the fiMk g; .* i^in/.innatt Commeicial Gazettllk P t * tiie M'LISHY, C< AN EGYPTIAN INCIDENT. *V , ^ v - '*••[ l"(i""» ^ ^ £'*. % v &>'X ,** i.'i *<* * vi; ^Tin going to put an end to this Jkyptian plague," growled Col. Mac­ Pherson. "We come here every winter, sail up the same river, look at the same old pyramids--no modern additions or improvements--see the flame abominable old images that ha*ve worn the same grotesque aspect for Itfty centuries, and broil on the same uncomfortable decks, and all because that boy of mine wants to become known as an Egyptologist. «To the •deuce with beetles and sacred cattle! Piri tired of it all." Out of breath with the exertion necessary to this long sentence, Col. Tavish MacPherson leans back in his comfortable armchair and closes his eyes for a nap. The cause of his trouble is not very apparent, and as tie sits there under the awning, with his half-pay running on at the Horse Guards, with the rents of his deer forests and sheep farms in the High­ lands faithfully collected and ac­ counted for by the factor, and with tlis membership fees paid up to date «f the Carlton and United Service clubs, one could imagine that Egypt would appear something other than a toouse of bondage. The Colonel's dahabeeh, with her big three-cornered Oil trimmed to the breeze that ruffles the waters of the Nile and bears her onward to Assouam and the Great Cataract, is as quiet and restful, albeit picturesque, an object as one Would care to sec, as on this Decem­ ber evening of 1870 she creeps up the river, the lookout man on the bow watching that the channel is followed, steersman, itnnassive as a plummy, leaning upon the long han- 4|le of the tiller. Forward on the deck, face down or furled up in all sorts of odd positions, llethe crew, a motley collection of Arabs, Nubians and Osmanlis. There v Is nothing stirring. The mark of the ;4: ifteaert is on all around. Even the fan, now nearly on a level with the j&ubian mountains away on the horl- Son, looks tired and dusty. The in­ tense quiet bothers the Colonel; so he fawns and growls once more. He is « widower with two children--the Aider a lad of 18 years, who has al­ ready made something of a reputa­ tion as a student of Egyptian re­ mains, having been enamored of the land since the evil day when the Colonel first proposed to winter on the tSTile. The secovd is a gentle lad of 10 years, well liked by everybody. He (fives his vote for Egypt every winter, fcecause Jack asks it as a favor. They *re ashore now after relics, and have ;|p»»ised to report when the dehabeeh . -, ties up for the night at Assouam be­ fore warping her way through the ^fSotaract. •The Colonel's eye followed a move­ ment in the tangled group of figures ;-%n the deck. Two men rise, shouting >jmt each other all the while. The SColonel and the dragoman who has JpBt poked his head out of his room «• the deck look on lazily. Suddenly pile of the disputants makes a rush at %he other--the gleam of steel is seen, and the crew close 'round the men. ;:*• quipk stroke, a shout, anger ^Changed to agony, and a Nubian * lies ijpoa the deck with the dagger of A boo, <0 powerful Arab, in his breast. All this so quickly that the Colonel i;|s still growling that there is nothing •Urring to be seen in Egypt, when he ^teaches the group, and, stooping over the wounded man, draws the dagger !,.}to*t. It has left an ugly wound, bat :;jnut dangerous, and as the wouftded (man is token in charge by his com­ rades, the Colonel turns to the drago­ man for an explanation. i*: With many profuse apologies the <lragoman tells how the two men f were sleeping side by side when the TSuMan inadvertently put his foot against the Arab's face. That was / *11, and the dragoman smiled and flowed. The Colonel, an old disciplinarian, looked as black as night. In effec­ tive English he ordered the drago- ::... man, .after he had discovered that the v matter was not reckoned important •enough for Egyptian law to recog- i ou», to anchor the dehabeeh and send m boat ashore with the culprit and his -p. baggage. To the dragoman's ques- 3; tlon as rtcrhow A boo was to get back f'-: to Cairo, the Colonel thundered that ? she might walk. The dragoman bowed and smiled--It was a habit he had learned from a French friend in Cairo--and translated the Colonel's ; remarks to Aboo, adding to them such little (pleasantries as he though ^ <0f- lie cosld walk. His shoes--this V with a smile and a bow, directed to & Aboo'« hare feet--his shoes might wear tio Aboo, having - -jhi-' ».. .. -t..r dragoman interprets to the Colonel with a smile and a bo*. The deha­ beeh glides on, and in an hour is moored at Assouam. The wandering relic-hunters return and all aboard retire, for is not the cataract to be traversed at sundown to-morrow? Before sunrise Col. MacPherson was awakened by the shout of the young gentleman's body servant, who cried excitedly: "Wake, master! We can't fliid Master Bob. Here is a hit of paper that lay on his bed." While the Colonel rubbed his eyes and looked at the scrap of Arabic the i^an produced a commotion occurred outside, and the dragoman rushed in with Aboo's dagger in his hand. It had been taken from the breast of the Nubian stabbed to the heart during the night. The boat had been towed astern of the dehabeeh after Aboo's trip ashore was gone. There was no doubt, explained the dragoman with his customary smile, that the Arab had lain ashore until the lights went out, swam aboard, knifed his enemy, and left again in the boat. At this the Colonel, still holding the paper in his hand, turns pale and trem­ blingly gives it to Jack, who knows Arabic. Dragoman and crew crowd around while he siowly reads: "Aboo might have killed the English dog to­ night, but to steal the pride of his tent was a better revenge." They searched for the fugitives with shrinking hearts after a time, but never a trace of the boy, dead or living, did they find. Almost mad with grief, but not until the hot weather threatened his life, Col. Mac­ Pherson returned to Cairo and laid the terrible affair before the Khedive. But it was all in vain. Year after year he haunted the Nile, promising the backsheesh to an unlimited ex­ tent for the restoration of his boy, but the Arabs shook their heads-- Aboo had disappeared without leav­ ing any trace. . To the father who searched for his lost boy there was 119 lack of interest, now in Egypt. - ^ n. "Forward by the right; march!" Clear and loud came the command, and the ugly, ill-conditioned steeds of the camel corpse moved forward with ungainly step. The wells of * Aboo Klea are within sight, and Sir Herbert Stewart, who marched nine days ago with 1,500 picked men across the desert to reach the Nile and thence to press on to Khartoum, feels that his mission will be successful and that Gordon will be speedily re­ lieved. So does Capt. Jack MacPherson, of the Egyptain army, attached for the present to the camelry, as he sails along on one of the ships of the desert. This is an unseaworthy ship, and as it tosses more than usual he ejacu­ lates, "Ugh, you brute, if there is an Arab at the wheels I will trade camels." With this he looked for­ ward to the rocky defile by which the route lies, and sees fluttering above a ledge an Arab banner. For an in­ stant he looks at it through his fit ld- glass and then rides in haste back along the ranks. A word in Sir Herbert's ear. The troops are halted and a zareba is in process of forma­ tion when with beating of war drums and discordant yeils that remain un­ answered--for the throats of the men are too parched and thirsty to hurrah ---a great body of Arabs starts from the underwood around the entrance to the defile, and headed by many standard-bearers, rushes in upon the British square. Of the fight for life in that square,* and the determination with which the Arabs fought to break the ranks, there is no need to tell. How Bur- naby went down, fighting gloriously, and many another brave man beside him, history records. With the utmost coolness, for he has been through many such scenes, Capt. MacPherson, after the first rush, picks up the rifle ot a dead soldier, unclasps his cartridge belt, and plugs away steadily at the night­ shirt brigade, as the soldiers have nicknamed the Arabs from their long white robes. But seel what change is this in his face as the foe forms in a compact mass for another Tush? And listen to the request he makes to the men around him: "Don't shoot within a dozen yards each side of that banner," he savs in such a tone of voice that the soldiers look up in surprise and see a white, set face. "Let them come right up before you fire," he adds, "and waft till I give you the word. You'll agree to that, won't you, Roberts? It's a matter of life and death." This to the officer in command of the com­ pany. "Matter of death to us all, I think, if you don't speak in time," growled Roberts, frowning at the advancing dervishes; "but have your way." MacPherson makes no answer; tbe pallor on his face increases; now it is ashy gray as the Arabs rush in on the square. Of all the oncoming hun­ dreds he sees only two men--one the standard-bearer and beside him a young fellow, and, with a cap on his head of the usual tangled headdress of greased hair worn by the dervishes. Kneeling as the. Arabs come within fifty yards of the square he takes de­ liberate aim. A flash, and at the same instant the standard-bearer falls prone to the earth. The fair- faced Arab seizes the banner and rushes to the front. Another shot and he, too, falls. In a voice that rings above the din of battle Mac­ Pherson gives the order to fire, and the Arabs, met by a volley at such range, stagger, and through the smoke are seen to fall back a few paces. In­ stantly MacPherson rushes out from the square, and before his comrades or the enemy have time to interfere he is again in the midst of his com­ rades, but bearing in his arms the young Arab, who still grasps the ban­ ner he plucked from the dead leader's hand. The Arabs, mightily thinned in that last brush, fall away. The fight is over and the men crowding round MacPherson, who is bathing the wounded Arab's thigh where his bul­ let entered, asked what it all means. Roberts, who is under the impres­ sion that the banner was the prize coveted by MacPherson and that his care for the Arab is an afterthought, remarks that the <raifee i« hardly Vf.'&'f-" -.i, .ft father.n Instantly the men, most of whom have heard the story of the Colonel's bereavement, crowded around the stretcher. Sure enough the resets blance could not be disputed. "See," said MacPherson, tieCO'mlng less constrained as the intense strain of the last few minutes is relaxed, "I can trace on the back of1 his right hand the outlines of an atitihot. I remember when he put it on he was a very small cub. His hand looked as if it was poisoned, and he came to me and got me to scrape most df the ink out again. That's why the mark is so faint. Roberts, send a man out there to bring in the big fellow I shot. That wais Aboo, and I think you will find a bullet in his head." The last two words are spoken faintly, and MacPherson fails back into the arms of a soldier. Where he stood there is a pool of blood, and on examination it is found that he, too, has been wounded in the thigh. HI. They were an odd-looking pair, the brothers, as they walked together in the garden of the army hospital at Cairo. It was fortunate that Jack knew Arabic, for his long-lost brother had to learn English over again, hav­ ing heard never a word of his mother's tongue from the night when Aboo, after gagging him, tumbled him into the boat lying astern of the behabeeh until »his brother's bullet brought him back to civilization. Of his wan­ derings he could tell little except that his captor and he had been wayfarers for years in the Soudan and along the desert highways until the insurrect­ ion broke out, when he was pressed into the Mahdi's service, Aboo being a volunteer. After awhile, he told his brother, he became rather fond of fighting. "Imphm!" said the Colonel, as hie elder son translated these remarks, "there is some of the MacPherson in him yet, then." He nodded paternally toward Bob, and then turning to Jack, said tenderly: "God bless you, my boy, for bringing back my Benja­ min even with a bullet!"--Toronto Globe. A Bird'a Indignation. ago I found in my gardens nest of the shrike. The young birds, four or five in number, were nearly fledged. Having heard a good deal of the predatory habits of the tribe, I was going jto wring their necks. 1 had put them on a hedge, and they sat quite still, but looked so proud and self possessed, and the dark glit­ tering leyes that were bent upon me with an expression of indignant sur­ prise said so plainly, "Have we not as good a right to live as you?" that my conscience smote me, and I could not find it in my heart to kill them. ' I walked away to call my daughter and show them to her, but when I came back they were gone. One morning next year I was in the gar­ den looking at my roses when I felt something hit the back of my head, Turning round not a little startled, I saw a bird flying up to the top of a high tree. When it had got there it said "Check I" Very soon afterward it came down again, flapped its wings against my head as it had done be­ fore, flew up to an opposite tree and repeated its "Check!" At the first glance I had seen that it was a laniiis. Since then and for several days I could never show myself bareheaded in the garden of a morning withont being assaulted or saluted in the same manner, and soon got quite accus­ tomed to it. When my head happen­ ed to be covered I was left alone, and neither my gardener nor any other frequenter of the garden was attack­ ed. It is clear that the bird must have been either one of the nestlings of the preceding year or one . of their parents, and that it remembered me probably as the disturber of its peace, not with any feeling of gratitude for having spared a life I might have taken but had not given, for it evi­ dently hit me as hard as it could, and there was an unmistakable sound of satisfied revenge in its cry.--I^ondon Illustrated News. Why U« Had Quit. A cute young Detroiter fond of hiii horse and fond of his joke was quiz­ zing a quaint old fellow from the country the other day whom he had met for the first time. I understand you've got some pretty good horses," he ventured. "Yes," said the old one, warily, 'I've got some good ones." "Anything rapid?" "Not overly. You see I ain't raisin* for speed any more." 44No, why not?" "Cause there ain't much in it; for me, anyhow. I done fairly well till about four years ago when I backed a fine three-year-old ag'in' a mule, one of the boys owned, and sence t<hat, I'M kinde'#discouraged like." 'Backed a horse against & mule?" repeated the ' innocently . , , " » ' v r ' " "And what the result?* u The old man's eyes twinkled. " 'Bout what was to be expected," he said with a chuckle. "The dura mule kicked the 3-year-old full of holes in two minutes." Fourteen men laughed all at once and the fifteenth, who was a De­ troiter, went away by himself for as much as half an hour.--Free Press. (tub Vonr Skin Hard. A great deal can be done toward having a fine and smooth complexion by a systematic treatment of rubbing, says the Ladies' Home Journal. A fine towel or a bit of red flannel are best for rubbing, twice a day, or four times, if rapid results are to accrue. By degrees--as the skin gains tone and elasticity from having thrown off the waste matter in its ducts that kept it clogged, sickly flabby--the friction can increase in energy. The skin not becomes not tougher, but more resistant: If the rubbing is too hard at first, however, it is liable to produce redness and pimples. Even slight friction will do this at times on an accustomed skin. But the treatment should be persevered it* nevertheless, and the skin soon be­ comes extraordinarily fine and smooth. How MUCH a man is like a fire. He sulks, pouts, goes out at night, smokes, and is awfully hard to start right in tbe morning '"w; ' , : • iV Stand snolt X Talking A boat Four Meaat, examination day in the little of t he Reedy Creek set | fact patent enough to any •fcersed in country ways, the ways of Ready Creek, >y» peeping out of the win* dows had thqir ha,ir "slicjced down," to use the vernacular, and an unusu* ally generous use of soap and water had caused the pink shrine of their "mornipg faces" to linger until near noon. Several girls, craning their necks oitt . and airily chewing gum, were Crated out in all the glory of their Sunday toggery. Two or three wagons, with home-made chairs for setts, were standing in the grove, and several horses and mules, with men's and women's saddles, were tied to convenient saplings, which they were barking with lazy relish. And many a beautiful, straight young tree, with defaced trunk, bore evidence of dis­ graceful service as a hitching post. Now and then a restless animal "would get loose and stroll leisurely around, sometimes trailing in the dust a long, .full riding skirt of norrud* homespun," or heavy cotton checks, all which rejoiced the heart of soiMqjbservant small boy on the lookouTfor an excuse for temporary f r e e d o m . . . . Mis' Johnson's n&g's, slipped the bridle and got unloosened. Mus'" 1 go ketch him? I'll be back'treckly," is a fair example of the interruptions frequent on these occasions, and the treckly" generally lasts until an­ other eager youth is sent to call in the first. Sometimes the long-suffering teacher almost feels inclined to believe thefe is a bridle-slipping conspiracy between these exuberant youngsters and th$ audiehce. On the day to which I refer nearly all the Reedy Creekers had assembled to hear verbs conjugated and easy words misspelled and hard ones correctly spelled, and to see examples wrestled with and diagrams diagrammed. Among the Visitors a well-dressed, middle-aged man was the most con- spieious figure, both by reason of his imposing appearance and superior raiment and the animated interest he took in the proceedings. He was 'well-favored," and certainly the knowingest looking man I ever saw. His alert eyebrows, his convincing nose and his firmly clamped lips, all expressed self-satisfaction supreme. It was evident he knew that he knew everything worth knowing. His head was bald with the shiny, tan-colored baldness of all knowingness, and the few remaining buff-and-white locks that straggled to his coat collar in­ tensified the general expression. A man to be observed in any crowd and to make you long to hear the words of wisdom those lips must utter. To a student of human nature this fine old Caucasian gentleman, with air of I know it all," was the most enter­ taining figure in the room. He Beerned to hear everything, to see everything, to nod approval or to shake his head negatively, as the oc­ casion required. He frowned severe displeasure at a timid little fawn of a girl who became entangled in a mesh of figures and too blinded with tears to know the difference between a black-boarded cat and an example in addition. And he bobbed a big bQb of approbation when a pert miss, with a decided Reedy Dreeky flavor in every word, correctly bounded Louisiany and stated that "Batin Roosh" was the capital and »'Newer Leams" the principal city1 of the State. To a tall; slim damsel decorated with the euphonious name of Malitia he seemed to devote special attention,, nodding patronizingly at her, first glib recitation, but frowning con­ tinually when her class went through a lot of parsing. Some of the R^edy Creekers said this young lady was named in honor of the Georgia mili­ tia, to which her father had once be­ longed; others ill-naturedly declared "Malicious" to be her well-selected appelation. But she signed it Mali- tia, and I write it that way--per­ haps she knew her own name. , When the parsing exercises were concluded our friend leaned forward and, signalling Malitia to approach, began whispering to her. "Sh! pappy, sh! we were parsing," she said, trying to silence him, but he was not satis­ fied; and' Commenced whispering again, when interrupted by an as­ tronomy class. For awhile he listened attentively, with an expression as non-committal as that of a juryman waiting to hear the evidence before rendering a ver­ dict. But after a time he became Impatient, he shook his head, and clouds of displeasure gathered on his face. At last he startled the audience by springing to his feet, and in tones lottd and clear, his voice rang through the room: "Come, M'lishy, cp»e!J[ can't stand it no longer!" '•'Are you sick!" inquired the teacher. • "Sick o' nonsense is what I am." "What's the matter? What 'non­ sense'?" asked the dominie. "Matter enough! I could stand it when them girls said their grammur lesson with all the books open--an you not to know how they was foolin arv you! Then I sorter stood it just now when the others said the earth kep' turnin' over'n over all the time, when 1 knowed 'twan't so. All the water'd fall out of the jurell an<l the dishes would tumble off! the table when we was upsid-donnards. But I let it go an' 'lowed to iearn M'lishy better when we got home. Then I manldged to set still when they said the earth war nigher the sun in winter than 'tis in summer--when I knowed that wan't so. And that was a tough one! a reg'lar whopper. But I let that go an' 'lowed to learn M'lishy better when we got home. But just now w«hen they said there was four moons--when I know there ain't but one--I ups and starts home. Thfit four-moon business settles me!" "They had reference to the satel­ lites of Jupiter," began the teacher, with Reedy's usual good-natured readi­ ness to oblige. "Scatter lights? I ain't. ta1kin( 'bout scattenn' no lights. I'm talkin' 'bout moons! Here I've been hoeln' by the moon and plowin' by the moon, put tin' out my pertaters by the moon and plantln' all my garden truck by the moon and kill In' hawgs by the mobii thirty-odd year, an' I shore ought "No, suh, settles roe! I can stand! --Free Press. fed better go that four-moon business It's justone thing more'n Come, M'lishy, less go!" A flood ReforeawK John was 15, and wanted a desir­ able place in the office of a well- known lawyer, who had advertised tor a bov, but doubted his success be­ cause being a stranger in the city, he had no references. "I'm afraid I'll .stand a poor dhaooe," he thought, "but I'll try and'appear as well as I can, for that may help." So he was careful have his dress and person neat, and when he took his turn to, be interviewed, went in with his hat in his hand and a smile on his face. The keen-eyed lawyer glanced him over from head to foot. "Good face," he thought, "and pleasant ways. Then he noted the neat suit--but other boys had appeared in new clothes--saw the well-brushed hair and clean-looking skin. Very well, but there had been others here quite as cleanly. Another glance showed the finger nails free from soil. "Ah, that looks like thoroughness," thought the lawyer. Then he asked a few direct, rapid questions, which John answered as directly. "Prompt," was his mental com­ ment; "can speak up when necessary. Let's see your writing," he added aloud. John took up the pen and wrote his name. "Very well; easy to read and no flourishes. Now what references have you?" The dreaded question at last. John's face fell. He had begun to feel some hope of success, but this dashed it. 'I haven't any references," he said ^rith hesitation, "but here's a letter from mother I just received." The lawyer took it. It was a short letter: "MY DUB JOHN--I want to remind you that whenever you ilnd work you must con­ sider that work your own. Don't go into it, as some boys do. with the feeling that you will do as little as you can, and get something better soon, but make up your mind you will do as much as possible and make yourself so necessary to your em­ ployer that he will never let you go. You nave been a good son to me. Be as good in business ana 1 am sure God will bless your efforts." John has been with him five years, and last spring was admitted to the bar. "Do you intend taking that young man into partnership?" asked a friend lately. "Yes, I do. I couldn't get along without John." And John says the best reference he ever had was a mother's good ad­ vice and honest praise.--B. F. New­ berry, in the Morning Star. A Ullb Wateh Salaaraan, A foxy-faced young man .literally covered with new watches suddenly popped up in the middle of the stag party of 800 Columbian club men that went sailing up the East River the other day. Watches hung on buttons, were strung on straps like onions, dropped from chains and dangled from snap rings from his feet to the to the top of his head, where His soft hat held a half dozen fastened with safety pins. The crowd was staggered into Silence. Pulling three or four tickers from his pocket he fired them into the river. An irishman: "Shure the poor man's crazy." Two hundred men rash to see if the watches sank. They sank. Giving watches to a half dozen men he said: "Examine them and com­ pare the time with that of other watches. Of course they do," he said, anticipating their reply. "Very well, keep 'em. No one can be without a watch." By this time he was watched toy every one on the barge. 'Those who have no watches, hold up their hands." Half the crowd obeyed him. "You men need or want watches, don't you?" "Yes," from every throat. "Well, I am here to sell sheg& to you." The hands dropped. "Hold on. Don't be frightened. I sell them for $2 each, and the poorest man here can afford to pay that for a timepiece. I pay $1 for every one I sell. Several men came forward to buy, "Hold on; I am not done. These watches will give you good service for a year. Then throw it away and buy another. They are not worth re­ pairing. They are a strong watch," and he shied one over the rough deck, and it rattled like a shuffle -board quoit. It was returned, ticking all right. He passed the watches around, and took money right and left, getting Wd of 174 before the boat landed. He counted his remaining stock, and as the crowd moved toward the gang­ plank, he shouted: "Hold on. Some of you boys have held out nine on me. But keep 'em for good measure." Many of the Columbians that bought watches from the glib sales­ man were before night grieved to find that their new timepieces could only be kept ticking by constant shaking. --New York Herald. Mo Bom* Without a Woman la I*. Every young man to have a home must have a wife. He can never substitute a boarding-place, a club, or a hotel for a home. This is to go through life hanging upon the skirts of life, leading a joyless, selfish, uu- natural, and unpatriotic existence. God putteth the solitary in families. It is the best provision he can make for their restful ness and welfare. This divine arrangement cannot be set aside, or improved upon, or writ­ ten down as a "failure." Young men and women are still to marry, build homes, rear families, plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them, marry when young, even though poor, join hands and hearts, and climb the hill together; they will reach the summit all the more surely and quickly.--New B n g l a n d M a g a z i n | | | f S g i £ ̂ r, *' *' f ft atorf r«tara. next a la mode was suggested s*t that prenent lo«aiiftnt by a very inadequate cauae, befng nothing mor« tl»a tW tumbling off a musty " " woebegone little volume, proved-to be a copy of the Pocket Magazine for 1821, and the opening of Its faded, stained and dustrb** grimmed little pages at an article by some whiibsical contributor on the subject of hand-shaking, a catalogue of the various modes In vogue at the period. As some of these fashions have survived through every chance and change np to the present date, a few specimens may hew he given to enable those who may recognize the different species to classify them by knowledge. For instance, here is the "pump- handle" shake. To this is yielded the place of honor. "It is executed," writes G. of seventy years ago, "by seizing your friend's hand and work­ ing it up and down through an arc of fifty degrees for about a minute and a half. To have its nature, force and character the shake should be per­ formed with a fair, steady motion. No attempt should be made to give it grace, still less vivacity. On the contrary, people who are partial to the 'pump-handle' shake should be at pains to give an equable, tranqifil movement to the operation, which should on no account be continued af­ ter perspiration on the part of your friend has commenced. The 'pendulum' shake," proceeds our chronicler, "is executed by sweep­ ing your hand horizontally toward your friend's, and, after junction is effected, rowing with it from one side to the other, according to the pleas­ ure of the parties." Here an amend­ ment must be made. It is not always according to the "pleasure of the par­ ties," but according to the pleasure of one, who cares nothing about the pleasure of the other, that the "pen­ dulum" shake is prolonged. ' Neither has the next in importance, the "tourniquet," died out in the land.. "The 'tourniquet.'" we are informed, "derives its name from the instrument made use of by surgeons to stop the circulation of blood in a limb about to be amputated. It is performed by clasping the hand of your own as far up as you can, and th£n contracting the muscles of the thumbs, fingers and palm till you have induced any degree of compres­ sion you may propose. Particular care ought to be taken if your hand is as hard and as dry as a frying pan, and that of your friend as small and soft as a young maiden's, not to make use of the 'tourniquet' shake to the degree that will force the small bones of his wrist out of place." But, good heavens! there be folks who will never hear of this latter most excellent precaution. "For years," says a commentator, "I have suffered beneath the hearty greeting of that muscular Christian, Parson Plough- boy. The parson is large in mind and body. He has the hand of a mature octopus. When he throws it around mine I feel the finger tips tickling mj arm far, far above the wrist, prepara­ tory to the ^contraction,' which I am only too well aware is about to fol­ low. Rightly is that vice-like grip of his denominated the 'tourniquet'; he might hire himslf out to surgeons in lieu of the instrument itself: he could stop circulation for any length of time required, and the only point on which he might require admoni­ tion would be respecting the irrepres­ sible tendency toward 'forcing the small bones out of place,' hinted at by our authority in the Pocket Magazine." . The same pen has a terrible tale to tell in connection with this danger­ ous hand-shake. "A hearty young friend of mine," he says, "addicted to the study of geology, had acquired by the use of the hammer an unusual hardness and strength of hand and wrist. One day, on returning from a scientific excursion, he met a gouty and wealthy uncie with a 'tourniquet' shake of so severe a nature* that"-- mark what follows, ye reckless and hard-handed youths of the present generation!--"he had the pleasure ol being disinherited as soon as his uncle's fingers were sufficiently recov­ ered to hord the pen!" "Tuinlng-Uown" Hmmr. The late Earl of Wicklow, before .he Succeeded his cousin to the title and family estates, had a somewhat frugal mind (says the Illustrated American). Soon after bis accession to the property, he called upon his steward for the household accounts, and carefully scrutinized eaclj item. Now it is the custom in most great establishments in London for one of the upper servants, generally the steward, to supply the others with beer, charging the amount to the head of the house, while those who do not drink are allowed what is known aa "beer-money," in addition to their wages. Among Qther expense items, Lord Wicklow discovered "dishing, up-beer," and, ldter, on, "turning- down baer." It was not ip. the least difficult for him to guess that "•'dish- ing-up" implied the liquid drunk by the cooks, and the kitchen and scuf? lery maids when serving dinner, but he was at a loss to understand what the "turning-down" process might mean. In response to his interroga­ tions, the steward gravely replied: "It's the beer, my lord, wot the 'ousemaids 'ave when they go hup- stairs to turn down the sheets at night." Autl-Awlnlljr gMlatlM The Boston Transcript tells a story of an American gentleman who Re­ cently visited Tennyson. During the conversation the old'poet, in his rapid and somewhat free and easy style of speech, broke in with: "There! I've caught you in an Americanism. I hate that word 'awfully;'they might as well say 'bloody' at once; they mean the same." "How would it do," com­ ments the Transscrlpt, "for boys and girls, both in England and America, to form -Anti-Awfully societies,' take the language pledge, so to speak, im­ posing 1-cent fines for every case of violation of the pledge not to Indulge in ridiculous hyperbole of speech?" IT is too often the' case that a man with one talent can marry any woman he will, and a woman with two tal- tnts will marry any mas she can. A a cradle Jililcb rocks by clockwork mechanism and at the same time plays baby ^ tithes? f an : the j most HOT water taken hour before bedtime is hel case of constipation, and has? southing effect upon the stomach. ACCORDING to M JParel, the anaA . tityof heat in Geneva, Switzerland, during t^be jpua* mer of 1889 was equal to that given off by the combustion of 31,000,000 tons of coal. CONTRACTOR (trying to introdUM a system of water works)--You see, gentlemen, water will alwayii rise as high as its source. Selectman Spar- rib--Wa-al that's queer. B*ow is il! that all th' rivers run down hill?-r- Puck. H-'i • i •j ? i *W... vji JfS ':;v ' MATHEMATICS is like a coffee-mill which grinds admirably all that.iff given it to grind, but produces noth» lag but what is given it--Faraday. THE water of the central basin of the Mediterranean has been found to be warmer, denser, and richer indis- solved salts than the western. While . a white disc was easily visible at 43 * 3 H meters, photelegraphic {dates were 31 affected at 500 meters. . .CAOUTCHOUC can be dissolved more I readily by adding from 5 to 15 per cent, of oil eucalyptus to the benzol or carbon bisulphide used; in the lat- ~4 ,t ^ , i ter proportions, the mixture of carbon , bisulphide will dissolve nearly 20 per , j cent, of caoutchouc. . & THERE is something abouo the ce- Y^.IJ dar logs that are now being exhumed ,|>*;' $ in Cape MAY County, N. J., and that 4 'j are said to have been buried for more /Dv * than 2,000 years, that imparts a sort of melodious tone to a violin, and the logs are being cut up fair making of such instruments. AN English inventorhas construct­ ed a novel device to do away with the enormous pressure of water against; the bows of ocean steamers. It con­ sists of one or more screws on each side of the bow, which throws the water aside and creates a dry Well in front of the vessel. . ; ^ WE read in a contemporary of a new "1*4 machine called "a handwritingdu- 1 plica tor," which we regard with ap- . * prehension. It is hard enough now1 to read most handwritings in the original text; what they would be du- p l i c a t e d b y a m a c h i n e w e s h u d d e r t o , ! think.--The Engineer, N. Y. City. ' ; A RACE took place on Newark Bay between a naphtha launch arid a steam launch. The naptha launch won by a trifle, and, while this proves ' ? nothing in particular, either for or - against naptha versus steam, it is f quite a cause for rejoicing amoifgst| the owner of naphtha launches. ! "AND what is this?" said a passen-1 ger to the man who knows all about » steam engines. "That is the con- f denser," said the man, (it wasn't, ; though,) "they pump the vacuum out I of it and then the steam gits con­ densed; something of that kind, I be­ lieve. It's very complicated." Then they went away.--The Engineer^ | New York City. J ACCORDING to M. W. Smith Lea, in the columns of a German paper, a mixture of 50 to 65 per cent, of gran­ ite or syenite, 5 to 15 per cent, .of s blast-furnace slag, 15 of clay. 5 sand,' 5 phosphate of potash, 5 of common 1, salt, and 2 of chalk, all finely pow- j dered and mixed, makes a cement or f'J \ f mortar which will resist exceedingly < high temperatures. • j A LENS for seeing under water gives f a distinct vision of objects twenty or "! thirty feet off, the loss of extended J ^ 4 j sight under water being because an ' ^ entirely different focus is required. * - >, 'i The spectacles, which provide this *•'; can oe made by putting two watch glasses of three-quarters of an inch | diameter and an inch radius back to, „ \ back, or with the concavity outward. /;• j ^ WHEN the tubes of injectors become' ; 4 scaled, do not undertake to clean 1 with a file or scraper, as a very small j : enlargement of the area of the jet 4 ^ 4 will interfere with the working of i. the instrument, but remove the tubes ^ and place them in a solution of one ^ part of muriatic acid to ten or twelve g parts of water. This will soften the f scale, and tbe tube may then bes washed clean.--Power. !. As the sluices near Maigrange, ao- cording to M. Buony, ground ice forms about the iron work largely used in 'J4 the sluices, and is got rid of by heat- s • •>', ing the upper part of the structure \ with wood fires. M. Cuony produced'} ground ice experimentally, by cooling f f an iron bar 10 to 15 degrees below zero | u., and plunging it in cold water; | thus illustrating the part played by || the piles of bridges. MR. S. P. STICKER, an engineer, of | Buffalo, N. Y., claims to have dis- ^ covered a method of making ice by :K! means of illuminating gas, which may be returned to the mains, after without deterioration. By experi- ^ , ments in the works of the Provincial G a s C o . , a t I n t e r n a t i o n a l B r i d g e , O n t , ̂ \ h e p r o d u c e d a t e m p e r a t u r e o f 8 0 d e - r " ' jfrees belows zero by the use of watei ; f and gas only, without chemicals.' ' wr- y - " • Montevideo. Uruguay is known in this country Jhiefly through the frequent presence % * ^ of United States ships at Montevideo. £- The capital of the little State is k n o w n i n n a v a l p a r l a n c e a s " T h e t , / V Mount," and the Rio de la Plata is always spoken of aboard ship as "The ^ River." United States ships return­ ing home by way of the Cape* of Good ; Hope usually touch at Montevideo, ff and there, for the first time in many weeks, the officers enjoy the luxury | JV a comfortable club and a good shore I :1 inner. Here tbe naval vessels of all 2 nations congregate, and the capital I has importance quite aside from its $ domestic relations. The river at \ Montevideo is subject to terrific wind 3 storms, and at such times it is almost I impossible for a smtil. boat to live in i the stream. Many an American J naval officer has incurred the repri- ^ rnand of his superior by overstaying his leave because of a norther on the % Rio de la Plata. * ;!SpW use / "$ - - -j f \. IGNORANCE of cooking is one of the* Jokes a young man laughs at with his | girl before marriage, but that some- | how he is never heard to laugh at </:v * •,.? ' ,.--v t i H'l •

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