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fata SOME VIGOROUS FACTS. THE TARIFF AND THE SPOOL f * QOTTON INDUSTRY. 0MTMHM* for IMS --A DwNntta btt- of McKinley and tk« Fntart--A '• ( 8orr«y After the Battle--A Few r*liUc»l I**'"' & y ILR& tt" T -i *. fif'-'ra ' t &/KV 7 « " iV ,1 >'. „ A- iL-i'. | Tkm Spool CoLtoa Industry. Iwt month, Thomas C. Richmond, Esq., of Madison, a well-known lawyer and a free trader, wrote a letter to the Williinantic Linen Company, of Connec­ ticut, for information as to "the effect of the tariff on the American spool thread business. The company did not delay in answer, ard a stronger or a more elo­ quent defense of protection has not been published in many a day. Of course, the figures did not exactly suit Mr. Richmond's purpose, for they were not what he expected, and therefore he did not hasten to the press with the let­ ter. But the Willimatotic Company save a copy to the Harfeford Courant, from which it was taken bv the Madison Journal. The letter is exceedingly in­ teresting- and is as follows: HABTFOBD, Conn., Oct. 19,1891.--T. C. Richmond, Esq., Madison, Wi&; MY DKAB Sir.--Yours of October 8 was re­ ceived at Willimantic October 18, and is re­ ferred to nic for answer. You wish to know the effect of the tariff on our manufacturing industry, which is spool cotton. Prior to I860 the duty on spool cotton was from 25 per cent, to 80 per cent, ad valorem, which was not suffi­ cient to establish the business in this coun­ try on a permanent and competing basis. In 1861 the duty was made partly specific^5 and partly ad valorem, and would now, if still in force, be equivalent to about 22 cents on each dozen of spools containing 200 yards on each spool. The present duty is 14 cents on each dozen spools, containing 200 yards eajli, the reduction being made in 1883. Under the high duty the English manu­ facturers who had previously supplied the market (the Coats Company and the two darks) transferred their American busi­ ness to this country, expending about $10,- 000,000 in mills and machinery. In I860 this company was already manufacturing what is known as three-cord glace spool cotton. The price of this article was then 42% cents net for one dozen spools containing 200 yards ea-h. We now receive for this article, greatly improved in quality, 16>£ eents for the same quantity. In I860 our wages averaged about $4 per week for each man employed. Now our wages average about per week. In short, while the price of these goods has been reduced GO per cent., the aveiage wages paid have been doubled. There has never been anv duty On the raw material, which is cotton. The wa^es paid in Great Britain have also been raised in the thirty-two years, and pre now about one-half what is paid for this class of labor in this country. We have, the pay-rolls of ihe principal manu­ facturers of spool/cotton in Europe and find the above a fair statement. Of course the cost of spool cotton has been greatly decreased in the thirty years by the invention of labor-saving machines, and by acquired skill and experience. But, without exception, these special ma­ chines have originated in this country, and have later been adopted in Great Britain. In the manufacture of spool cotton, and indeed in all textiles, the labor on both sides of the Atlantic produces about equal results per hand. If the laborer is paid $4 per week in Europe and S8 per week here, the actual labor cost here will be double in Europe. The same machinery is used both here and there. It is run with the same speed and with the same attendants. I visited last May several of the best mills in Manchester, Eng., and became fully satisfied on this point. There are three results we should dread from a removal of the present auty: First a labor struggle, which would be in­ evitable, as the competition of English labor would be instantaneous and active. Second, we should dread an influx of in­ ferior goods under talse labels and with short measure, which occurred constantly prior to the imposition of the high duty. Third, great aud unnecessary loss which must ensue trom a sudden and vast change in values, in case a measure should be adopted which would involve the whole range of manufacturing indus­ try. Of course this loss would ultimately fall on the country at large, but the first force of the blow would be felt in such indus­ tries as have been established and conduct­ ed for the last thirty years under the tariff system. The difference between the wages paid In Great Britain and paid here amounts in our case to about $5,000 per week, which is about double the profit we have earned in toe average of the last three years, say 6K per cent, on a capital of $2,000,000. Under the present system prices have steadily de­ clined and continue to do so, from the active home competition. Up to this time this decline has in part been subtracted from profits and in part has been met by better methods of manufacture and sale. We certainly could not abandon the manu­ facture of textiles in this country. It would seem to be a clear proposition that any country which imports brains in the shape of invention, taste, skill and ac­ cumulated experience, and pays for the same by sending away backache in the form of crude raw material, must, suffer periodical bankruptcy, as was the case in this country before I860, and is now the lot «f the Argentine Republic. Yours truly, WILLIMANTIC LINEN CO.. A. C. DUNHAM, V. P. Forecant for 'OS. Congressman Mills continues to hold and express very sound views of the Eolitical situation, says the New York ivening Post. In an interview pub­ lished this morning he says: "To win we must fight the enemy, and not fight each other. If we go to the country on the issue of tariff reform alone we will Bucceed, because we are thoroughly united on that question. If we press the issue of free coinage of silver, in my judgment we will lose eveiy Eastern state and gain nothing in the West. We will lose the presidency, the Senate, the House, free coinage, tariff reform, and everything, and get for our pains a force bill, military us­ urpation of our ballot-boxes, ana life officers guarded by soldiers certifying local government out of the hanaB of the people." These words are as true as they are sententious. There is only one thing to add to them, namely, that if the Demo crate do put silver into their platform next year, and get as a consequence all the plagues that Mr. Mills predicts, the muse of history will give them the epitaph that was composed for another fool, viz.: I was well. y! I wished to be better, • . 1 took physic. * And here I He. A hcuocrtHc Opinion of MeKinlty Mid the Future. The Hon. William McKinley is one of the most eminent men in the Republi­ can party. He is able, vigorous, high- minded, old enough for public honors, and young enough for ambition to rock his hopes with its most irresistible pow­ er. In the Republican National Con­ vention of 1888 he became recognized as one of his party's available states­ men. But for his stalwart virtue the name of the cariUidate presented be­ fore the convention of the Ohio dele­ gation, of which he was chairman, would have been withdrawn and its own offered in its place, with the cer taintv of powerful support from other quarters. He refused to reach out for honors tendered across his loyalty to the gentleman he had been commissioned to support, and so kept his self-respect and the respect of every citizen of the United States. "Mr. McKinley has just been elected governor of Ohio, the prolific mother of Republican presidential candidates, after an issue made directly against him­ self as the representative of the present tariff policy fastened upon the country through the ambitious folly of Grover Cleveland. The circumstances of his imtmi success point to him as inevitably a candidate of the first tank before the . •SSHSiflB Republican National Convention to meet in 1892. And yet as a loyal parti­ san he must face the by no means tri­ fling possibility of being called upon to stop short of the highest honors and be nominated for Vice-President upon a ticket headed by the Hon. James G. Blaine. It was Blaine who, in no un­ friendly spirit, gave tbe slant to the new tariff bill which conferred upon the protective system the offensive and de­ fensive powers that make it to-dav re­ flect so amply the traditional and ex­ pectant American sentiment. Blaine and McKinley would be a Re­ publican combination of extraordinary power and quality.--New York Sun. Wearied of False God a. . The Leaven worth Daily Times, the oldest established daily paper in Kan­ sas, edited for over a quarter of a century by Col. D. R. Anthony, a brother of Susan B. Anthony, became an advo­ cate of the new People's party nearly a year ago; to-day it renounces that faith and returns to the Republican party and gives reasons for the change as fol­ lows: The contest next year will be between but two parties, the Republican and the Democratic. No other party can hope to be more than an interference in the cam­ paign. A year ago it looked as if the Peo­ ple's party would cut a figure, but that prospect has passed away. Many causes have combined to weaken this new party, and we have evidence that convinces us that in this, the leading Alliance state, its strength is not half what it was in 1890. The next President of the United States will be either a Republican or Democrat. Voters must make a choice between the party of Lincoln and Grant and Blaine and the party of Buchan­ an and Tammany and Cleveland, between the party that stood a solid wall against the destruction of the Union and the party that stood and snarled, between the party that has had taith in America and her abil­ ity to grow and manufacture what she needs and the party that has believed we must be dependent upon Europe for the greater part of the manufactured articles we use; that we must be the producers of raw material for the skill of tre old world to fashion, between the party of progres­ sion and the party of retrogression. As between these two no patriot can hesitate, and we believe that next year Kansas will again roll up the magnificent majority of 8^,000 for Blaine and McKinley, the repre­ sentatives of reciprocity and the repre­ sentatives of protection. A Survey of the Situation. In the language of the Evening Wis­ consin, "the result of the state elections is of BO mosaic a character that each of the Treat parties will derive some con­ solation therefrom." There was hardly a chance to plant a hope of Republican success in New York. The tremendous Democratic majorities in New York and Brooklyn seem to mako it next to an impossibility for the Republicans to carry the state in an off year. When these two cities pile up 70,000 or 80,000 Democratic majority, it requires extra­ ordinary effort and splendid harmony of actioii among tbe Republicans of the rural districts to overcome such an position vote. There was very little :Kinleyism in the New York cam­ paign. xbe Democrats everywhere in the state, especially in the two great cities, heeded the cry of Cleveland and Hill that the state must be carried at all hazards in order to put it in line for '92. Even the disgruntled county Democracy, which had had all kinds of indignities heaped upon it by Tammany, was alarmed and forgot its resentment. Cleveland in all his speeches and in his innumerable letters and interviews kept reiterating, "If you lose this year you will lose next year." It had "its effect both north and south of tbe Harlem River, and this influence was just as ap­ parent in the rural districts as in the shadow of Tammany Hall, and the re­ sult was a big majority for Flower. It seems that nothing but a presidential campaign will wake up the Republicans in tne state of New York, and herein lies the difficulty of the Republicans carrying the state in an off year. The Republican victory in Ohio is significant. There the Republicans made a square issue on protection. They were bold about it. They did not monkey with side issues, or turn the campaign into one of personal abuse. It was fair and square. McKinley and the McKinley bill and an honest silver dollar, or Campbell and low tariff and free and unlimited coinage of a debased silver dollar. Gov. Campbell evaded the silver issue, and plunged into the tariff discussion, and was badly beaten at the polls. It is a strange fact that McKinley lost votes in the cities where the greater number of workingmen lived and to whom protection is a special blessing. Had it not been for the farmers McKinley would have lost the state. There is a silver lining to the political cloud in Iowa; the Democratic gov­ ernor, Mr. Boies, is re-elected, but the remainder of the Republican ticket is elected, and the legislature is Repub­ lican on a joint ballot. The prohibition law and the railway influence have thrown Iowa among the doubtful states in an off year. , Massachusetts used to give splendid Republican majorities, but of late years they have been cut down to almost nothing, and three times within a few years the Democrats have elected their candidate for governor. The principal cause of t >is is the rapidly increasing Democratic vote in Boston. The com* plexion of the vote in that city has changed amazingly during the past twelve or fifteen years. The Irish and French-Canadians are settling in that city by the thousands annually, and al­ though it is the Republican policy to give them steady employment and food wages, they insist on voting the )emocratic ticket. It is a queer state of things when protected workingmen in manufacturing cities will steadily vote the free trade ticket. But in the present instance, the Democratic can­ didate for governor is a very popular young man,liis administration had been commendable, the party did not resolve for cheap money, and therefore many young Republicans rallied around Rus­ sell and elected him,"1vhile all other Democratic candidates for state offices were defeated. Kansas has redeemed itself by giving overwhelming victories to the Repub­ licans. At the late election, out of a total of 424 county officers, the Alliance party did not elect more than 60, while last year ihe Republicans lost alibut 71. The calamity howl of tbe Alliance men made sensible people of Kansas tired, and they rebuked the howl. The Kan­ sas Democrat, the leading organ pf the Democratic party of the state, says: The Republicans have achieved a signal and unexpected victory. It can be said that in scarcely a county in Kansas did the People's party hold its strength at the polls yesterday. The defeat of the calamity party was crushing and complete. It is doubtful if the People's party yesterday carried half a dozen counties in the state where there was a contest Pennsylvania, of course, has gone Re­ publican, the majority ranging from 40,000 to 50,000. Kote* Md Picture*. The Democrats of Ohio, by patting themselves in a false position on the silver question, have lost not only their own state; they have lost the chance of naming the next President of the United States. -- Philadelphia Record (Dem). Secretary Rusk shows by his annual report that he is a very industrious and hard-working member of the cabinet, as well as a genial, whole-souled man with a warm spot in his heart for every tiller of the eoil.--Baltimore-American. In England the average sum due each depositor in the Savings Bank Depart­ ment is $68.17. '* • 1 • * tarings banks in the United States ww i» 1890 . $358.04. The former represents the S&vuura possible under free trade; the second, what can be saved under protection. Which will you take, workingmen? In September, 1890, the balance of foreign trade against tbe United States was t7|246jt505. In September, J8571, the oalanc^ot trade in favor of the I nited States was <21.083.901. mm These figures are official. They show how the McKinley law, which tne free trader* said would "stifle" <mr exports has developed them instead. The democratic party has endured since Thomas Jefferson. It has had a splendid history and elected presidents in the face of appalling difficulties. Of late years it elected Mr. Tilden Presi­ dent in the most inspiring political cam­ paign since the ehoice of Abraham Lin­ coln. It has achieved innumerable tri­ umphs by the power of its own loyal members and of its organization and principles. But there has been one effort beyond its strength. It was pow­ erless to re-elect Grove* Cleveland, --New York Sun. The London News, commenting on the Board of Trade returns, says: "Tbe decrease of 20 per cent, in our trade with America may fairly be attributed to the McKinley law. The diminution in the demand from other countries must be ascribed to financial depres­ sion." John Sherman is one of the few living American statesmen who belong to the nation rather than to a single common­ wealth.--Philadelphia Ledger. Mr . Sherman's retirement, whether decreed at the polls or consummated in a party caucus, would be a loss to the republic. In the event of a Republican division on the question of Mr. Sher­ man's re-election the Democratic mi­ nority in the Ohio legislature could per­ form no more patriotic or politic act than to assist in the re-election of the statesman whose career for forty years has reflected luster on the common­ wealth.--Brooklyn Eagle (Dan.). It would be the greatest of blunders- for a Republican legislature to side­ track John Sherman in favor of ex-, Gov. Foraker or anybody else. Sena­ tor Sherman has been the target at which free silverites have directed their heaviest batteries, laying on his broad shoulders all responsibility for silver demonetization, which they al­ lege occurred as the result of legislation proposed by Mr. Sherman. A Repub­ lican success in Ohio which permanent­ ly shelved John Sherman would, to use an Hibernicism, be a disastrous triumph for the Republican party in its effects upon the general prospects of the or­ ganization.-- Boston Transcript (Ind.). Since the passage of the McKinley law Americans are buying American cutlery. For the eight months ending May 30, 1890, we imported foreign cutlery to the value of $1,5jC4,422. The avenge sum djw depositors During the first eight months under the new tariff we bought of foreigners only $ojI5J3SHvorth. This means that in this singkP^M!uffry the McKinley law has saved (1,000,000 to American producers in eight months. GREETING CUSTOMS. A Combination of HUtorjr, fradltiea kn^ I'hilonophy. Traveler Hesthely thinks thi« custom of lifting the hat and removing i t when meeting a lady is a curious one. He tells the St. Louis Globe-Democrat: "I am always anxious for information up­ on points of the kind, and it is not the only point in connection with the polite­ ness of civilized life upon which we are at a loss for the origin. There are na­ tions. you know, wliere the removal of the right shoe corresponds to our habit of uncovering the head. But what I have noticed most is the difference in the practice of removing tne hat in thiB country and in the countries of Europe. In England, for example, you never see a man remove it when he en­ ters an elevator which is occupied by ladies. Neither do you in France. In the British House of Commons it is compulsory that every member should wear his hat. I have occasionally seen a member rise, being called upon'by the speaker, and for the moment he looked bewildered, because his hat had some­ how been misplaced. Then he seized tbe one he could most easily reach, and a curious figure he cut, as he got one which at once covered eyes and ears. When the member rises he bows to the chair, at the same time lifting the has and consigning it to tbe safe-keeping of a friend. Then he proceeds with hit oration, and when he retires places his hat on his head. In the French Chambejt the same rule prevails. America seems to be the only country where so much deference is paid to the lady. Another thing about our civil­ ized methods upon wnich I am curious is that of hand-shaking. I have en­ deavored to trace it to its source, but have failed. I am of opinion, however, that it dates away back to times when it was the custom for every man to be his own prote'etor, and that it had then much the same significance as the cross­ ing of arms between a soldier who is doing sentry duty and the one who comes to relieve him. That is, it A as an indication that no hostility was meant." Tbe Wrong Inference. An ancedote told in tbe North Ameri­ can illustrates that a woman does not al­ ways draw the right inference, though, as "Dryden Bays, she "can draw you to her with a single hair." Doctor Thompson, Archbishop of York who recently died, suffered, while Bishop of Gloucester, from toothache, and resorted to narcotics to relief the pain. One morning, after a night of suffering, he left the house to consult the doctor. Mrs. Thompson begged him not to allow the physician to oersuade him to take a narcotic, as it affected his brain -for some hours afterward. On his way the Bishop met the post­ man, who handed him a large official envelope. He opened it in the street and read, to his surprise and gratifi­ cation, his appointment to the see of York. He hurried back to communi­ cate to his wife the exciting news. "Zoe! Zoe !" he exclaimed. "What do you think has happened? I am archbishop of York." "There! there!" she rejoined. "What did I tell you? You've been taking that horrid narcotic again, and are quite out of your head!" In His Stocking Feet. Dave Spellan was up in the police court for the sixty-fifth time. The charge was drunk and disorderly con­ duct and Dave got bis usual sentence-- ninety days in the house of correction. Jacob Drewniak was in court in his stocking feet. He was charged with having stolen two chickens from a coop in the rear of 807 First Avenue. He was fined $20 and costs. Anton Kragmann and Bertha Radatz had a little falling out Saturday night, and it cost Anton $5 and costs. Both were invited to a surprise party on the West Side. Anton, it was alleged, put his arm around Bertha's waist. Bertha didn't like such familiarity and gave Anton a slap in the face. Anton then pushed her down stairs, Bhe alleged, and she had him arrested. * Prehistoric Oysters. Oyster shells 14 inches in dlanretfr and others 22 inches in length are found in the desert west of Yuma, Cal., once an inland Bea. Many of them are in perfect pairs, with every line and ridge and even the color preserved. Yet they are completely petrified and eolid as any limestone root, „ . • " POSTAL FACILITIES. Y1U the Tim* Etw Come H ben Fmrinmtu !!«• a Mounted Fast? \ Although postal service in Chicago and many other great centers of in­ dustry is still antediluvian, In the in­ terior of all American States it is far worse. Political and commercial pressure has been able to procure for New York a more efficient, corps of men and a larger equipment in gen­ eral than has been allowed to other cities in just proportion to population and business. Philadelphia, Balti­ more and Washington are all better cared for than any Western or South­ ern city. Congressmen have seen to it that their own mail is promptly handled and deliveted as often as* they want it. All the mail reaching the capital before 7 o'clock in the evenTng is delivered by carriers the same evening before 9 o'clock. Against hourly collections at the street boxes in New York there are great Western citics exceeding 100,000 in population that have only two deliveries a day. Flagrant, therefore, as city postal service is in the United States, except in a few AW^RED spots, the treatment of the fannera is outrageous. The practical problem- of gett ing mail to villages and having1 it so assorted and carried as to-enable the agricultural population'TO'DB< their business with reasonable dispatch is by no means so difficult now as the problem of any mail service was before the days of railroads- or telegraphs. Mounted postmen were sent through the farm­ ing parts of. England more than a hundred years ago,, and their pace was so exactly calculated that village messengers and farmers' boys knew just when to expect them at a turn In the pike. Their bundles were so neatly classified in convenient order that not a moment was lost throwing a bag to a waiting receiver and catch­ ing the parcel handed or thrown UP. On fresh mounts ready at designated points along his route the traveling postman flew to the next crossroads, where he again met messengers to give and take mail. The same sys­ tem is still is use in those parts of the United Kingdom and .the continent where railroads have not penetrated. The intercepting messengers are mounted I wherever they have con­ siderable distances to go or heavy bags to carry. Boxes, strong and safe, are placed on highways for mail deposits. Mounted carriers hand ihe farmer his letters at his own door wherever the village office is too re­ mote for his convenience. It has been noted' in the history of the British post that for a long time every improvement was due to private or unofficial enterprise and often en­ countered official opposition. This was to be charged to the selfishness of the crown and the superstition too long cherished that posts were only for the crown, either for its use or its profit if others used it. It was a pri­ vate citizen who organized the great mail coach post that superseded run­ ners or mounted carriers. During the reign of Victoria the postal depart­ ment of Great Britain has been keen­ ly alive to the wants of the public by land and water, in manufacturing centers and throughout the agricul­ tural districts, in cities and in vil­ lages; and the result of its unceasing energy is that even the farmers of England have a better postal service than the bankers and merchants of the United States. If the postoffice authorities of the United States will not devise better methods for the farmers than those in use in England they ought at least to imitate them; if they will not do that, they may go to countries lesn commercial and less thrifty to find better exemplars than the present system of American roral posts. In India there is a post runner w ho, his bag on his back, prods his way with a spiked stick through jungles, while his clamorous bells frighten off rep­ tiles and warn the villagers or farm­ ers of his coming. Where camels are necessary they stride the desert with their swinging bags, their driver brill­ iant in uniform and loud with his warning bell. In Japan the physical character of the country and the placid temper of the people make the swift runner satisfactory throughout rural parts. Even in China there is better rural service than we have. A runner hurries from station to sta­ tion, a bell or bugle announcing his approach, messengers ready from all around the farms to receive and de­ liver mail. In certain districts of France the post runner u$es stilts to hasten the mail over marshes to farmers. Throughout Germany there are mounted rural posts and postal stations, numerous, well managed and cheap. The traveling German post makes himself known by a gut­ tural horn. The rural post in Switz­ erland has bell or horn. Letters are presented at the farmers' doors or left at stations in villages, where agents know exactly at what hour he will arrive and depart. Automatic devices have long been in use on the English railroads, by which flying trains throw out mail- bags and pick others off projecting poles without even slowing up. Mounted or pedestrian messengers are waiting at these points to take the dropped pouches and set out immedi­ ately with their respective! portions of the contents. The farmers of the United States ought to insist on a mounted post wherever foot messen­ gers will not be satisfactory. There is no reason why the Government that takes their money shall not supply their postal wants.--Chicago Herald. ••Hlu lilbertv." "Miss Liberty," as Philadelphians are aware who are familiar with the story of the lady whose profile was taken as a model for the "Goddess" upon the silver dollar, was, at the time her features attracted the at­ tention of the Mint engraver, the principle of the girls' school at the House of Refuge, and her name Miss Anna W. Williams. Her profile was then considered, says the Philadel­ phia Record, to be the most perfect of any woman in Philadelphia. It was with great difficulty, however, that she was prevailed upon to give sittings to the artist, and only upon the condition that her identity should never be revealed would Miss Wil­ liams consent to have her likeness in­ delibly stamped upon the hearts of the people--for it is said the dollar is nearest the average American heart. But was impossibki jo keep the ' • secret LOTRJY. and soon after the dollars were put into circulation the young woman's identity also became known. The story that the engraver had put ao much of his own soul into the work that he fairly worshiped his Weal, and that the romance ended as it always does when two hearts beat as one, was the production of a roman­ tic imagination. Miss Williams contmned to teach at the nouse of Refuge until a few years ago, when she obtained the po­ sition AT the Girls" Normal School, which she now so acceptably fills. Miss Williams' features are still as classic in mold as when they attracted the attention of the United States Government, . . Return of the They were talking about the won­ derful instinct of animals in general and of dogs in particular, when a man living on Sixth street said: "I 'spose some of you remember that bob-tailed brindle dog I used so own? I gave him; away half a dozen different times, but he always turned up again. It was in the Free Press how I gave him to a man in Cheboy­ gan, and he blindfolded him and took .him up there on the cars, and yet he came back within two weeks." Three or four of the crowd expressed their surprise, and the Sixth street man was encouraged to continue: "lie came back from Chicago, Cin­ cinnati^ and Buffalo, and I finally gave him to a man who was going to the Sandwich Islauds. I felt pretty sure 1 had seen the last of that dog, but in exactly three months from the day he left I found him on the front door-step." "Was he taken to the Sandwich Islands?" asked one. "He was, as I afterwards, found out." "Good lands, man, but you don't pretend to say he found his way back from there!" "I certainly do." "Do you know where those islands are?" "Ida" "Do you know iliat your dog would have had to swim a distance of several thousand miles to reach the nearest land." "I do, and it's right here I want to say that while that 'ere dog wasn't worth powder to blow him up as a traveler on dry land, he was the all- flredest animal to swim that ever stood on legs! That's just why I wanted to get rid of him--the infer­ nal idiot always thought he was born for a fish instead of a dog, and I had to keep the cellar full of water for HIM to play in!"--Free 'Press. Queer Anttpatlile*. •Talking of peculiarities of appe­ tite," said a citizen iu conversation, "I know a man who has not eaten a mouthful pf meat in twenty years." "A vegetarian, eh?" queried a lis­ tener. "No; he took a sudden dislike to meat of any kind and gave up eating it. But he could not tell himself what caused the change in his appe­ tite." "My wife can never cat an oyster," said one present, "without her skin breaking out with purple spots as large as dimes. She feels no uneasi ness, but naturally does not like to be spotted like a pard." "I was acquainted with a woman out West," said another of the party, "who broke out with heat whenever she saw or-.tasted goat's milk cheese. Her husband brought some into the house and hid it in a cupboaro. When she approached it she began to shiver and declared that she felt the strange prickly sensation." " 'If 1 did not know that there was no cheese in the house I should think it was that,' she said, DIID then her husband acknowledged that he had done it to test her. The physiological effect satisfied him that it was not in the imagination." A strange antiphathy was then re­ lated by a young doctor present. "I had ordered a pair of new and fashionable trowsers when I wastaken ill with a severe attack of jaundice. The garments were made and sent home but I was too sick to wear them, and after looking at them and seeing that they were just as I or­ dered them, I lay them awaj'. When I was well I was about to wear them when I recalled all the symptoms of my illness, and I could not endure the sight or touch of them. I tried again and again with the same result. There is no law in materia medica to account for such A manifestation." Did Yon Beet Well tut flight? In the tropics men sleep fn ham­ mocks or upon mats of grass. The East Indian unrolls his light portable charpoy or matress, which iu the morning is again rolled together and carried away. The Japanese lie upon matting with a stiff, uncomfortable wooden neck-rest. The Chinese use low bedsteads, often elaborately carved, and supporting only mats or coverlets. A peculiarity of a German bed is its shortness; BESIDES that it frequently consists in part of a large down pillow or upper mattress, which spreads over the person, and usually answers the purpose of all the other ordinary ded clothing combined . In England the old four-posted bedstead is still the pride of the nation, but the iron or brass bedstead is fast be­ coming universal. The English beds are the largest in the world. The ancient Greeks and Romans had their beds supported on frames, but not fiat like ours. The Egyptians had a couch of peculiar shape, more like an old- fashioned easy chair with hollow back and seat. Tne Fie Crop. In the United Statesthere are eaten every day 2,250,000 pies. Each week, 16,750,000. Each year 819,000.000,at a total cost of $164,000,000 -- an amount greater than the internal revenue and more than enough to pay the interest on the national debt. If the pies eat<$n every day were heaped one on top of another they would make a tower thirty-seven mileshigh. If laid out in a line they would reach from New York to Boston. With the yearly pie product.of the United States a tower 13,468 miles high could be erected,and stretchd in a line they would girdle the earth three times. These pies of a year would weigh 803,000 tons. And if, as has been so often stated, figures don'T lie, then certainly pie is a great institi tion.--J|. ¥. JFREV ODD POEMS. • r * - r . \ . VtfMM What Can Be Ke*d la Twe tlre!y L>.ff«rent WIT*. . V\ . The Convention. While Chicago Is ot course the best Some time ago a reader in the NE* 4L _ .. ,. . York Sun asked the editor of "AN-i £"1? ewers to Correspondents' to publish OBJEM",N W' B the "poem" about this "wondrous poem sight" and "the peacock with a flerj tail," and so on. He was unable to, find it and numerous .friends came to his assistance. This oddity, which is at least forty years olu, reads as. fol­ lows: I saw a peaeoek with a fiery taff I saw a blazing comet pour down hail I saw a cloud nil wrapt with ivy round Vv&ivvw I saw a lofty oak creep on the ground '* I saw a beetle swallow up a whale •*1 #, ' I saw a fottming sea brimful of ale I saw a pewter cup sixteen leet deep J', . • ^ I saw a well full of men's tears that wee£ V • I saw wet eyes ir flames of living Are ?; I saw a houxe as high aa the moon and Uglier I saw the glorious aun at aeop midnight I saw the man who saw this wondrous bight. In order to make sense out of this jingle it is only necessary to put a semi-colon after the first noun in each line except the last. Tbe following similar puzzle is also given: 1 saw a pack of cards gnawing a hom 1 saw a dog seated on Britain's throne 1 snw King George shut up within a box I saw Mi orange dri-viug a fat ox I iswa butcher not t welvemonth old 1 saw a great coat ail ot solid gold I saw two buttons telling of theit (freams I saw my friend» who witthed I'd quit thOM themes. The editor of "Answers to Corres­ pondents" says: These catches de­ pending on proper punctuation are very old. Ancien| history tells how a man, wishing to learn if it would be safe for him to go to battle, received this answer from the oracle: "Ibis redibis non morteris inbello". If you put a comma after redibis the trans­ lation is: "You will go, you will re­ turn, you will not die in battle;" but if you put the comma after non you get* "You will go, you will return NQT, vou will die in battle." Vastly cleverer is a -revolutionary poem of some fifteen or twenty lines. Read­ ing the lines as usual the poem is tory to the backbone, but reading the lines in two sections, the first half of each hne and then the second half, the poem becomes American all through. We've forgotten the poem, and mention it in hope that some reader may have it. We will publish it gladly. The lines that our New York friend is in search of read as follows, SAYS the Rochester Post-Express: Hark I hark 1 The trumpet sounds, the din ol war's alarum, ' O'er seas and solid grounds, doth call us all t< arm a; Who for King George doth stand, their honors soon will shine; Their rnin is at hand, who with the congress join; The acts of parliament.' in them I much delight; 1 hate their cursed Intent, who with the con­ gress light; But tories of the day, they are my drily toast; That soon wiU sneak away, who independence l>oast; Who now resistance hold, they have my hand and heart; May they for slaves be sold, who act a whlggisb part On Mansfield, North,-and Bute, may dally bless* ings pour; Oonfubion and dispute, on congress evermore; To North and kriiish lord, may honor still be done; I wish a block and cord! to Gen. Washington. There are three ways to read this relic of revolutionary days: One as the lines are printed; the second by- Stopping at the first comma in each line, dropping the last half of the line and going on to the next; and the third by beginning just after ther first comma and reading the last half of each line. You pay nothing and you take your choice. Admlrad tieuins. A farmer, driving a mulish-looking horse, attached to an old-time "carry- all," came to town. His horse stopped in front of a corner drug store and re­ fused to go on. The farmer urged the animal,*and then proceeded to beat him with a rope, but wJth no avail. Of course, hundreds of men came up and offered advice. A balked horse is perhaps more fruitful of suggestion than anything else caa hope to be. One man told the farm­ er to twist his tail; and another one said that a bundle OR fodder held be­ fore his eyes would have the desired effect. After awhile the farmer turned to a quiet man standing on the edge of the side-walk and ASK^D; "What have you got to say?" % "Nothing." "Isn't there some mistake about that?" "None whatever." "Are you sure?" "I am certain." ('Is it possible," ctaid the farmer, "that you stand there and see a balked horse, and have no suggestions to mrfke?" • "It is not only possible, BAT is an absolute fact." "Where do you live?" "In this town." "Are you going home pretty soon?" "Yes, but why?" "Well, I have a bushel of fresh eggs that I want to present to you. Here, take this basket, and when you need any farm truck let me know, and it shan't cost you a cent. I admire genius and must say that you are tbe most remarkable man I ever saw."-- Arkansaw Traveler. Mark Twain's frapsssV "Mark Twain's" wife was V Miss Langdon, of Elmira. When "Mark" first met her he was not so distin­ guished as now. Her father was a judge, and. doubtless expected "family" and social importance in his son-in-law. Clemens, however, be­ came interested in his daughter, and after a while proposed, but was re- jected. "Well," he said to the lady, "I didn't much believe you'd have me, but I thought I'd try." After a while he "tried" agaiu, with the same result, and then remarked, with his celebrated drawl: "I think a great deal more of you than if you'd said 'Yes,'but its hard to bear." A third time he met with better for­ tune, and then came the most diffi­ cult part of his task--to address the old gentleman. "Judge," he said to the dignified millionaire, "have you seen anything going on between Miss Lizzie and me?" "What? what?" exclaimed the Judge, rather sharply, apparently not understanding the situation, yet doubtless getting a glimpse of it from ihe inquiry. "Have you seen anything going on between Miss Lizzie and me?" 'S^O, indeed,"replied the magnate, stermy; "110, sir, I have not." "Well, look sharp and you will," said the author of "Innocents Abroad:" and that is the way he asked the judicial luminary for his daughter's hand. choice.--Quincy Whig. Tim location of the convention fn Mltt- neapoHs is the most sensible thing next' to the selection of Chicago that the con* mittee could have done.--Milwaukee' News. It is a great triumph. It fo tifies im­ mensely our p estiic It is in tk lar*e tense a national indo sement of the netropoliian claims of this city -^-Min­ neapolis Journal. * St. Paul i an well rejoice with her sta­ ter city at this hou \ to- she, too, had t finjrer in the pie. a shoulder to the whcol and a hand in the hot eiiKage- 11 ent--*•*. Fan) Cilobo This i.< a decided victory fo- the Northwest. It is a re egnitlon of this section that a few years ago would have been impossible in national politic*.-- Osbkoah Nortliweiten 'Rah for Minneapolis! Western enter­ prise has Hgain won. It fiist wrested the World's Fair f om the effete East and now it <-a ture • the Republican National Convention --Madison Democrat Now if St. Paul will trim 1)is whfcken and Minnie Apo.is will get her best bib and tucker, perhaps that wedJing can be arranged as a side att' action fo * the big « onventioa.--Detroit Journal. Republicans should never hesitate about selecting a place for their national convention ID iact. e ther of the two great parties put< its delegates and friends to inconvenience when ft fixes upon any other city than Chicana--- Kansas City Evening Times. The choice of Minneapolis as the )oca» tion of the Republican National Conven­ tion or 18V2 is not likely to have any ma­ terial influence upon the nomination of candidates. There have been occasions when the location of the convention con­ trolled the 1 residency.--Philadelphia Times. The Czar's Ukase. The wheat-growers of A to make a generous contribution for the relief of Russia's starv.ng hosts If the Czar had been subsidi ed he cou'd not have worked things better for this coun­ try.--Kansas City Times. It will not liav.* so pronounced an*ef- fect on our markets as ir would have done but for the fact that it had been anticipated, but it is a strong bull argu­ ment, and will tend to advance prces» both of stocks aud of grain--Khiladel* phia Telegraph A rumor in foreig i countries tha*. the export of horses to fo clan co mtries will soon bo prohibiied, earls to the im«* pre* sion that some sinister motive rather than one of humanity 1 es at the. base of the recent imperial e.iicts The belief is gaining ground that Russia's p ans lot a grand coup are neat Ing comp et on -- Cleveland Plain Dea or. The edict has already had a temporary influence as a stimu ant to speculation* and has caused a si.ght advance in prices in the markets of this countr -' an.1 in Europe, and it may be of further service to tbe spe ulators It would s^em, how­ ever, that its erect should have a readr, been well discounted by the general fore­ knowledge of a situation demanding its promulgation --Philadelphia Telegraph. Tried to Beat Tanner. I The death of Stratton, tbe faster, ought to put an end to one era e.--Buf­ falo Express. • , The world Is probibly very little the worse for his end by what is practically % Suicide, but it is about time for these exhibitions to stop--Pittsburg Dispatch. The death in New York of the profes­ sional faster, Stratton, is the direct re­ sult of the practice of dime museum managers in getting up unnatural "con­ tests." These museums have become public nuisances.--Albany Express stratton, the fellow who tried to out* fast Succi for pay in a New York dime museum, is dead The ordinary Idiot excites compassion, hut the fasting iciot creates a feeling of disgust.--Ua timore WORLD. Other men have succeeded in living without food for a similar period, but it was probably owing to a peculiar or­ ganism and practice of alstinence, and the tost is of no practical value.--In­ dianapolis Sentinel.. .J7 Governor Howey. As Governor he had the the people of Indiana, regardless of party, and he will be truly mourned!-~ Milwaukee Wisconsin. Since the war he has been the devoted friend of th) veterans of the Union armies and the champion of their cause In pension legislation.--Toledo Blade. Governor Hovey was not a great maai --not a genius. He was rather a studi­ ous, judicious and just public officia', a brave soldier and a generous, warm­ hearted man.--Indianapolis Sun. Governor Hovey was a man of char­ acter, a brave soldier, a popular leader of Republicans and a man of the people, else he never would have been elected Governor of a Democratic State. --Toledo Bee. His career was a full and well-rounded one, honorable to himself, ho orable to his State. Indiana can justly be proud of this one of her sons, whose death she mourns to-day and whose memory she will cherish. --Indianapolis News. Jsk '*• ., -... R A • ',S Learning Monkey Talk. Pro'esser Garner, of the Smithsoalsn Institution, is going to extend his vo­ cabulary of the languages of gorillas and chimpanzees by living in a cage In , the heart of the African forest --Phi)*- delphia Press. Professor R- L. Garner, who is gohMT to Africa to study the language of monkeys, has already studied their or­ gans of speech. These have been pop­ ularly designated as barrel organs up to this time.--Philadelphia Ledger. Professor Garner, who is studying the simian language, has already imbibed so much of the monkey as to desire to have himself caged. H > intends to put him­ self in a strong iron cage in the gorilla country so that he can communicate with them at pleasure. In that case it will be only a step from the man to ttMl monkey.--Harrisburg Patrol. • r ' -- O d o r l e s s W h i s k y . The invention o" an cdoriesa whisky Is eagerly awaited by the auditor who foes out between the a?ts to blow a cinder out of a man's eye,--Memph s Appeal* Avalanche. An odorless brand or whisky is the latest discovery. If there can be patent­ ed some way of preventing the stairs from dancing all over the front hall a man can pass the post-'odge-night cate­ chism With an even show of suceesa--• Siianeapolis Journal. Washington's CyCkme. vK The cyclone Is no respecter of perswia" . or p!a;es, and is as much a: home in the national capital as in the wiid and wool­ ly West -- Indianapol s Journal. Qld Boreas oh a Jamboree has little re­ spect for p!aco or person. The Whits Houfe and the poorhuuse are all one to the o>d blowbard.--Louisville Times. The fact that the Republican National Committee and a cyclone struck Wash­ ington the same day is nut particulaily significant These coincidences wilt hannen.--Buffalo Uttliiir ir£»Y- i JLVL! xiu' •«