Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 18 Apr 1894, p. 6

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SLYKE, Editor Mid Pub. ILLINOf w. &ALLING THE OOWft.* V'jf BT HERMAN BATE. ' j f'1 * teaot know why, I don't know howfelTfeS r ' But auraly, 'twas no harm at all f°~?! Vim': 1* atop a minute at tbe plow , - Pii-' -v • • And liaten to ta«>r milking cftt| * % - " C o --B O M -- O o P . ~ ' S ' - A . - Ipi>1 It aonn<le<l so Kte tem - Amom tbo yoilow-tavwM coral IkM|, Dmntnim Dover bora ; Who would not mat* his team and cMM* To help b«r drive tbe catUe boine. ; Tbe old folk lived acroas the hill, Bnt •nrely, 'tww no harm at all To kUs her, white the flolda weeo ' It aoundod ao, It nada the tardy robin start; ; Tbe squirrel bent the leaves apart To see us two a-watking down Toward the sleapy little town. I don't know how, I don't know wtoy But surety, 'twas no harm at all; The Htar« w«rr in the summer sky -- Before .the cattle reached t heir ataBt-v " "Co--Boss--- Co!" *t"'j It rings on BO. i Tb® Moon, from off his great whito Hi Ban tofmea it back into the fields And atiii the wbi*i>'ring ochoea And follow me a-walking home. BACK FROM THE TOMB. The guests filled slowly Into W# iiofcei's great aining-hall and took their places, the waiters began to serve theto leisurely, to give the tardy ones time to arriveand to save them* •elves the bother of bringing back the courses: and the old feathers, the yearly habitues, with whom the sea- ton was tar advanced-." kept a close watch on the dror each time it opened, hoping for the coming of new taces. New faces' the single distract'on of all pleasure resorts. We go to dinner chic My to canvas the daily arrivals. to wonder who th y are, what they tfo and what they think. A restless desire seems to have taken possession of us, a longing for pleasant adven­ tures. for friendly acquaintances, perhaps for possible lovers. In this elbow-to-elbow life our unknown aeigbbors become of paramount im­ portance Curiosity is piqued, sym­ pathy on the alert and the social in­ stinct doubly active. We have hatreds foi a week, friend­ ships for a month, and view all men with the special eyes of watering- place intimacy. Sometimes during an hour's chat after dinner, under the trees of tbe park, where ripples a healing spring, we discover men of superior intellect and surprising merit and a month later have wholly forgotten these new friends, so charming at first sight. There, too, more specially than elsewhere, serious and lasting ties are formed. We see each other every day, we learn to know each other toon, and in the affection that springs 8^w rapidly between us there is mingled much of the sweet abandon of old and tried intimates. And later on, how tender arc the memo­ ries cherished of the first hours of this friendship, of the first commun­ ion in which the soul came to light. of the first glances that questioned responded to the secret thoughts interrogatories the lips have not > 4ai cd yet to utter, of the first cor­ dial confidence and delic ous sensa­ tion of opening one's heart to some- ' lonjf 8ince burned out one who has seemed to lay bare to you his own! Tbe very dullness of the hours, as it were, the monotony of days all alike, but render more complete the rapid budding and blooming of friendship's flower. That evening, then, as on every Evening, we awaited the appearance unfamiliar faces. Tbere came only two, but very pe- eeliar ones, those of a man and woman--father and daughter. They seemed to have stepped from the paves of some weird legend; and yet there was an attraction about them, albeit an unpleasant cne, that made j me set them down at once as the vic­ tims of some fatality.. The father was tall, spare, a little itent with hair blanched white; too White for his still young countenance and in his manner and about his per­ son the sedate austerity of carriage that bespeaks the puritan. The daughter was, possibly, some 24 or 25 fears of age. She was very slight, emaciated, her exceedingly pale countenance bearing a lanquid, spiritless expression; one of those people whom we sometimes encount­ er, apparently too weak for the cares and tasks of life, too feeble to move or do tbe things that we must do every _ day. Neverthiess the girl was pretty, with the ethereal beauty of an apparition. It was she, undoubt­ edly, who came for tbe benetltof the Waters. They chanced to be placed at table me; anal was not long in noticing that the fkther, too, had a strange affection- something wrong about the nerves, It seemed. Whenever he was going to reach for anothing his hand, with •a jerky twitch, described a sort of fluttering zig-zag before he was able , to grasp what he was after. Scon , the motion disturbed me so much I kept my head turned in order not to see it. But not before I bad also ob- 4 served that the young girl kept her y «love on her left hand while she ate. Dinner ended, I went out as usual fc>r a turn in tbe grounds belonging _,' to the establishment. A sort of park, 1 might say, stretching clear >' "V1 the little station of Auvcrg.e^ Chatel-tJuyon, nestling in a gorge at 'if' *°°t of the high mountain, from ^ , iwhich l owed the sparkling, bubbling springs, hot from the furnace of an II ancient volcano. Beyond us there, ^ the,domes, small extinct craters--of c/-. which Chatel-Guyon is the starting Pffi point--aised their serrated heads ,% *, , »l*>ve the long chain; while beyond |; ; the domes came two distinct regions, fs l{ one of them needle-like peaks, the j /)/ (Other of bold, i recipitous mountains. ! !§• It was very warm that evening and P; I contented myself with pacing to and fro under tbe rustling trees. «az- . log at the mountains aud listening to 3V , the strains of the band, pouring from ^ f tbe Casino, situated on a knoll that ^ overlooked the grounds.' Presently, 1 perceived the father and daughter coming toward me with slow steps. I bowed to them in that pleasant continental fashion with which one always salutes his hotel companions. The gentlemen halted fat once. "Pardon me, sir," said he, "but short walk, easy and pretty, If possi­ ble:" "Certainly," I answered, and I of­ fered to lead them myself to the val­ ley through which the swift river j flows--a deep, narrow cteft between j two great declivities, rocky and wooded. They accepted, and as we walked we naturally discussed the virtue of the mineral waters. They had, as 1 surmised, come there on bis daugh­ ter's account. "She has a strange malady," said he, "the seat of which her physicians cannot determine. She suffers from the most inexplicable nervous symp­ toms. Sometimes they declare her ill of heart disease, sometimes of a liver complaint, again of a trouble. At present they attibute it to the stomach--that great motor and regulator of the l>ody--this pro­ tean disease of a th usand forms, a thousand modes of attack- It Is why we are here. 1, myself, think it her nerves In any case ifc .t^ very tad " This reminded me of file own jerk­ ing hand. "It may be hereditary," says I, ••your own nerves are a; little dis­ turbed, are they not?" , "Mine?" he answered tranquilly. ••Not at all; I have always, possessed the calmest nerved " Then, suddenly, as it bethinking himself: v "For this,"'touching his hand, "is not nerves, but the resuls of a shock, a terrible shock that I suffered once. Fancy it, sir; this child of mine has been buried alive!" 1 could find nothing to £ay; I was dumb with surprise. "Yes," he continued, "hurled alive; but hear the story, it is not^ long. For some time past Juliette bad seemed affected with a disordered ac­ tion of the heart. We were finally certain that the trouble was organic and feared the worst One day it came, she was brought in lifeless-- dead. She bad fallen dead while walking in the garden. Physicians came in haste, but nothing could be dona She was gone. For two days and two nights 1 watched beside her myself, and with my own hands placed her in her coffin, which I fol­ lowed to the cemetery and saw placed in the family vault* This was in the country, la the Province of Lor­ raine. i '•It had been my wish, to -, that she should be buried in her jewels, bracelets, necklace, and rings, all presents that I bad glv^u'her, and in her first ball dress. You can im­ agine, sir, the state of my heart in returning home. She was all that I had left; my wife had been dead for many years. I returned, in truth, half-mad, shut myself alone in my room and fell into my chair dazed, unable to move, merely a.' miserable, breathing wreck. ••^oon my old valet, Prosper, who had helped me place Juliette in her coffin and lay her away for her last sleep, came in noiselessly to see if be could not induce me to eat I shook my head, answering nothing. He persisted: " 'Monsieur is wrong; this will make him ill. Will monsieur allow me, then, to pat him to bed?' " kNo, no,' 1 answered. 4Let me alone.' "He yielded and withdrew. "How many hours passed I do not know. What a night! What a night! It was very cold; my fire of logs had In the great fireplace: and the wln& a wintry blast, charged with an icy frost, howled and screamed about tbe bouse and strained at my windows with a curiously sinister sound. . "Long hours, I say, rolled by. I sat still where I had fallen, pros­ trated, overwhelmed; my eyes wide open, but my body strengthless, dead; my soul drowned in despair. Suddenly tbe great bell gave a loud peal "I gave such a leap that my chair cracked under me. Tbe slow, solemn sound rang through tbe empty house I looked at the clock. "It was 2 in the morning. Who coold be coming at such an hour? "Twice again, tbe bell pulled sharply. The servants would never answer, perhaps never hear it I took up a candle and made my way to the door. I was about to demand: •' 'Who is thiereS* but, ashamed of the weakness, nerved myself and drew back the bolts, My heart throbbed, my jk'se beat, 1 threw back the panel brusquely, and tbere, in tbe darkness, safr a shape like a phantom, dressed in white. "I recoiled, speechless with an­ guish, stam:i;e.im>: " 'Who--who are you?' •'A voice answered: tbe two to my fa* HcagoPoafc FEW BOOIt* LIVE. I*1®# forgot*** la tfco Viat* of a Groat Ma­ jority or Wrltora. Tbe day Is far distant when such poets as Homer, Dante, and Shake­ speare, such historians as Gibbon, Hume, Macau lay, Frescott* and Parkman, and such novelists as Sir Walter Scott, Balzac, Thackeray, and Hawthorne will cease to be read, writes A. R. Spofford in tbe Forum. The constant consumption by the reading world of new ed.tions of standard authors in ever more at­ tractive styles of printing, binding, spinal j and illustration is proof or the ulti- j mate soundness of the public taste [ Our leadinir publishers of the con- I servative class are continually bring- ing out, and working over in differ­ ent stvles of manufacture, tbe books of their best writers, thus tending both to create and to supply thi ̂ de­ mand for the choicest literature which all should delight in fostering. Publishers who nesrlect this perma­ nent mine cf profit* and are contin­ ually on the alert for the newest books, often find such enterprises more productive of experience than of pecuniary profit The publisher who is ever eager for "a great hit" commonly makes many costly mis* takes, and reaches his aim but sel­ dom, if ever. Of the publication ot any period, how many ever arrive at the honor of republication? How many are found ; worthy of a reprint by the genera- j tion immediately succeeding? And will any one learned in the history of literature tell qg, how many, out of all the candidates for immortality, ever reach it by the sudrage of suc­ ceeding centuries calling for new edi­ tions? Is it cot the fate of at least ninety-nine in a hundred writers to find a place among the myriads of forgotten volumes that slumber upon the shelves of the great libraries of the world? It is tbe melancholy fate ot most writers to survive their own literary reputation. Not the least among the evils of that eagerness to be seen in print whicb afflicts so many writ­ ers, is the utter unconsciousness of its subjects as to the ephemeral char* a ter of their productions, vt An Old Ijawyer's Blujft "Please tell me what you consider the best way to win a case," said the young attorney to tbe old lawyer in a confidential way. * 'Well," said tbe latter, as be leaned back in his cbair and let bis memory dwell on the past, "as you aie young and inexperienced and a friend of mine, 1 will tell you with" out the expectation of a $500 or $1,000 fee. "The biggest bluff to win a ease when you have a fairly good one, or perhaps a fairly bad o ;e, is to make the offer to the opposing counsel Jbo submit it without argument. This catches the jury, and, perhaps, the Court, every time. You know how irresistible the inclination is to make a spread-eagle speech, and especially in young attorneys. The latter will imagine that even though their cause is bad, they can win over the jury by a burst of eloquence. The conse­ quence is that their opponents, by liheir interruptions, calling on the Court occasionally for assistance, con­ fine them to the point at issue, and before they get through they spoil what little hope they had ot success. ••The lury, who are prejudiced in your favor from tbe time of your bluff, for they think a man must have a good case who will deprive himself of the chance* to make a spread-eagle speech, bring in a verdict for you almost before leaving the box. 1 have won many a case by that bluff, and put many a good fat bill in my pocket, but the bluff must be exercised with care; Be careful how you use it with old and wiry attor~ neys and courts who have sized vou up to every thought of your shrewd brain. It goes nine times out of ten, however.--Cincinnati Times-Star. " 'It is I, father.' ••It was my child, fnWette. "Truly, 1 thought myself madL I shuddered, shrinking back^rd be- fqre the specter as it advanced, gesti­ culating with my hand to Ward off the apparition, it is that which has never lef« me: 'Again the phanta^i: ••'Father, father^..See, I an not dead. Some one came to rob me of my jewels--they cut off my finger-- the 11 wing blood revived me!' "And I saw thad that she was covered with blood. 1 fell to my knees panting, sobbing, laughing, all in one: As soon as I regained my senses, but St 11 to bewildered I scarcely comprehended the happiness that had come to md' 1 took her in my arms, carried her to my room, and American Humor, ^he disposition of Americans to, exaggerate is especially prominent in ' what is known as American humor, j says the Texas Siftings. A story as- j sociated with "picket firing" during the civil war brings out this feature of national character. One day t ere was a truce between the two hostile picket lines. "Ho, Yank!" called out a lank Mississippian who had just been posted. "Can you fellows shoot?" • Wall, Johnny, 1 gpess we can some Can youV'V ' "Shoot!" shouted back the Confed­ erate "Why down in Mississippi we knock a bumble bee off a thistle blow at 300 yards." "Oh, that's nothin' to the way we gesture ; shoot up in Yarmount! I belonged | to a company up ther'of 100 men, and every week we used tp go out to practice. The cap'n would draw us up in single file and set a cider bar- j rel roll in' down hilL Each man took ! a shot at the bunghole as it turned up. -The barrel was then examined, I and if there was a shot found that ! didn't go into the bunghole the man that fired it was expelled. 1 be- i longed to the company ten years and ! there ain't been nobody expelled I yet." Tbe exaggeration is often so pro- rang frantically for. Prosper to re-1 nounced as to eclipse the humor. A t. f iC kindle the fire, bring a warm drink lor her asd go for the doctor. "He came runntn^gtttered. gazed a moment at my daughter in the chair, gave a gasp of fright and hor­ ror and fell back--dead. * "It was he who had opened tbe vault, who bag! wounded and robbed my child aniUfl)^v-'|(|iiiHloncd her; for he could not efface all trace of his deed; and he had not even taken the trouble to return tbe coffin to its niche: sure, besides, of no* being suspected by.me, who trusted bim so fully. We are truly very unfortunate people monsieur." He was silent Meanwhile night bad come on, en­ veloping in the gloom the stilt and solitary little valley; a sort of mys- 1 terious dread seemed to fail upon me j in presence of these strarige beings-- this corpse come to life and this father with his painful gestures. "Let us return," saidfc ••the night has grown chiiL" And, still in silence, we retraced our ste; a back to the hotel, and I shortly afterward returned to the li|fa furUtec,k,/iowlp(tef Vt Callfornian hearing a Brazilian tell of the wonderful Oreille* of his coun. try, so large and luminous that ladies wore them on their persons inclosed in gauze replied: That's nothin*. Wby, in Ciliforny the fireflies are so large that they use them to cook by. Ihey set their keetles on their hinder legs, which are oent for the purpose, like pot­ hooks, and their bodies give oat heat enough to boll potatoes." Give *Kat Home of Their Own Medl* cine. Speaking, says tbe Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph, of brutal hus­ bands and iorgivlng wives, Judge Ewing said in court recently: "The whipping-post is a dangerous thing, but--well, it hurts me to send a man to jail or to the workhouse, where be will be tetter fed and clothed and treated than he ever was m his life before perhaps, for six months,after be has bail' killed his wife The whipping has many points to recom­ mend it as a j unishment for wife- beaters. It gives them a . taste o! Soaaa KrftUo Known Vw» to WMofette Htt* | tlon'a . f Some c(tr:oas items entering latu 'theexpense account of Uncle Sam f are mentioned by the St Louis Globe- Democrat. Away down in Arizona, j near tbe aty of Florence, there Is a j rulajttf the dwelling place of some prettfetorlc people it is called Casa I Grande. The government pays a mafh «480 a year to watch Casa Grailde and see that some archaeolo­ gist doesn't carry it away for exhibi­ tion purposes. Secretary Gresham has tried to get along this year with S3,000 for bring­ ing home the remains of diplomatic and consular officers of this country who died abroad. In view of the probable increase of mortality among the unusually large number of these patriots who have responded to the call of Josiah Quincy and have gone to places where the climate is bad, Mr. Gresham asks $10,000 the com­ ing year for diplomatic mortality. Another item of close relationship to the last mentioned is $5,000 to bring home the widows of those diplomats who die abroad. The vaccinatio/i of Indians is a charge of $1,000 a year on the United States Treasury. The condit on of Lo, the poor Indian, is the inspiration of much sympathy among certain Caucasian philanthrop­ ists. The rsffular budget for the red man this year reaches $6,931,. 156. til. Next year year it is expected to go to $7,098,811.44. This covers a multitude of things which civilized people have never thought of. For instance every one of the 600 men Crows gets a $10 suit of •'good wool­ en clothing, consisting of a coat, hat, pantaloons, flannel shirt, and woolen socks." Everyone of the 700 women Crows gets "a flannel skirt* a pair of woolen hose, twelve yards of calico, and twelve yards of cotten domestic." The end of the Indian budget is not in sight The Indian is as good a stayer as tbe pensioner. Away back iu 1794 tbe Government stipu­ lated to pay the Six Nations or New York state a cert In sum --several thousand dollars--evury year, and it Is still doing It There are annui> ties which have been paid to the Senegas religiously slnco 1817. Tbe Shawnees have been getting a good round sum yearly since 1794. These and many like them ?re permanent annuities. Some of them have run a hundred ysars. Most of them have been in operation fifty years. They seem to be just as good for another century. There are tbe Pottawa- tomies of Indiana and Michigan. They have worked the white man beautifully. In 1795 they got one permanent annuity, wbich has been paid regularly ever since. In 1809 they soaked it to our grandfathers for another annuity. In 1818 the Pot- tawatomies came again, and this Government agreed to pay them an­ other 9o-much-a-year without any limitation of time, The fourth per­ manent annuity lor this thrifty tribe was fastened upon the Treas­ ury in 1828. Between that time and 1836 four more permanent an­ nuities were added to the Pottawatr omies' list And they have been paid faithfully every year. They will be paid next year and tbe year after, and nobody knows where the obligation will cease. Three of these annuities are payable in "silver," and silver it w&s for the Indian all through the war and afterward, when folks never saw the color of coia Another annuity is in "specie;" two more in "money." The other two annuities illustrate more forcibly the farcical. Every year since 1826 tbe Government <ias sol­ emnly delivered to the Pottawato- m es fifty barrels of salt And every year since 1823 this Government has maintained a blacksmith's shop with equipments and supplies for three blacksmiths at a cost of $1,008.99 a year for the Pottawatomies. The disbursements to these Patta- watomies, who long ago ceased to be Indians in all but name, amount to $20,4547.65. They must according to the treaties, go on forever. They are ^•permanent" The Creeks have the oldest of these annuities. It started in 1790. The Chickasaws began to draw a perma­ nent annuity in 1799. The Chock- taws were put on tbe roll for $3,000 a year as early as 1805. Is it any won­ der that tbe more civilized he gets the more tenacious the Indian grows of his tribal relation and of Uncle Sam's paternalism? Brazilian fashions. If each coast towb has its charac­ teristic colony, so also each has its own fashions of dress for the swarming black population. 1 have noticed a process of evolution in the costume as I have come down from the equa­ tor. The negro children at Para and Maranhao were stark naked. At Pernambuco and Bahia they have calico dresses. Tbe men began with a pair of trunks or short trousers, without hat, shoes, shirt, or coat; at Maranhao they added a loose-fitting shirt, flapping over the trousers; at Pernambuco a ragged coat went over the shirt and a torn hat covered the head, and at Bahia shoes and stock­ ings almost complete tbe costume of a negro laborer. Only the waistcoat remains to be provided, and perhaps 1 may find that at Kia The costume of women has been developed in the same progressive way. the start there was a tunic or chemise, with head and feet bare Further down the coast a calico skirt and waist were thrown over the tunic, and shoes were worn. At Bahia a light shawl or wrap Is thrown over calico wraps of gayest colors and paterns, and there is a lavish display of cheap bracelets, brass earrings, and amu­ lets. At Rio I am prepared to see handkerchiefs and fans. These are the costumes of the lowest class of blacks. With education, respectable employment and social equality, the dress of tbe negroes and mulattoes changes, until it is hardlydistinguish- able from that of the native Brazil­ ians and Portuguese A black who has risen above the level of his race is scrupulously careful *to imitate in detail the costume of bis equal, the Portuguese white He wears ordi- nar.ly a silk or black felt hat, a broadcloth cutaway coat of black, and pantaloons and waistcoat of white duck. Even the Ibwest classes of blacks in Bahia are superior to any other negroes whom I have yet seen in Brazil. Tbe women who hawk fish or pineapples in the streets are sic|Ldey •; ' c *' • ** / ^ •- -• "fr-j:'-' • > ' A- arms of adeveiopmetfi sinew, 'and aa erect and y riage wbich < rauet be theai*t *bd despair of Brazilian ladles of the highest ra :k. A Potato Swindle. A novel scheme is being perpetrated on the public by a number of vegeta­ ble dealers in St Louis, says the Re­ public of that city. The scheme is unique and a paying one, for tbe city marketer is no judge of the products palmed off upon him. Last week marketers were rather surprised to see displayed atthe stands what purported to be new potatoes, selling at 10 cents a small measure, tbe measure containing not over a dozen small potatoes. The obliging attendants at the stands upon inquiry relieved themselves of tbe informa­ tion that the potatoes came from the Barmuda Islands. The customer ac­ cepted these statements and pur­ chased lavishly of the delicacy. "Where are your new potatoes?" asked a reporter yesterday of one of the stand proprietors, whose display was conspicuous by tbe absence of the new potatoes. "New potatoes!" he ejaculated! • There are none lit the market at this time of the year." "Bub all the other stands have them." "Oh, I understand what you mean. A man came to me the other day and wanted to sell me a supply of mew potatoes. I laughed at him. He then told me that he had a process of taking old potatoes and mak ng them appear as new, and the public would never know the ̂ difference He said that he picked out the smaller and less salable of the old potatoes and buried them for a few days. Dur<ng this time the eyes began to sprout and the covering became fresh look­ ing, and when washed resembled new potatoes. When he had completed bis story I told blm that I respected my customers and would handl$,j*eae of his goods." Becoming Extinct. ' Although the dugong is undoubt- edly the original ot the merma d, her name is not so supple on the lips as the soft pet names given to the sirens of mythology. The dugong forms the connecting link between the real whale and the seals and wal­ ruses. Like the whale the animal has no hind feet, but a,powerful hor­ izontal tail. Its interior extremi­ ties are more flexibly jointed than those of the whale, and this Is a dis­ tinguished characteristic between the two animala The dugong is said to have attained a length of twenty feet but the usual length is from eight to twelve feet In appearance the animal resembles the sea cow. Its upper lip is large, thick, and fleshy, and its snout is like the trunk of an elephant cut short across. The rude approach to the human outline observable in the shai e of the head of this creature, and the attitude of the mother while suckling her young, holding it to her Dreast with one flipper and, while swimming with the other, holding the i heads of both above water, and, when disturbed, suddenly diving and displaying her fish-like tail--these, together with her habitual demon­ strations of strong maternal affec­ tion, probably gave rise to the fable of the mermaid. The dugong Is be­ coming rapidly extinct Writing to tbe Qneen. Tbe paper on which letters to Queen Victoria are written must not be folded. No commun cation which bears evidence of having been creased will ever fall into her Majesty's own hands. Tbe proper methods is to write on thick, glossy white paper, and tod spatch the missive in an en­ velope which fits it Any folded communication never leaches tbe Queen, for the simple reason that bhe won't look at it All such letters are opened by the mistress of th9 robes, and as a rule their contents never get beyond her, or, if tbe letter is of importance, it is returned to tbe writer with directions how to forward it Photograph the Stamp. flow can you find out whether a postage stamp has been used or not? Photograph it If the postma k has been obi terated the blue or green color will not make any im­ pression on the plate, while the black traces of the obliteration will ap­ pear with great clearness. Even when the stamps have been well washed and no trace of the oblitera­ tion can be seen by the naked eye or through the microscope, the photo­ graph will show very clearly tbe two concentric circles of the stamp, the date, and even name of the locality. ---JBopular Sc ence News. One Advantage* People who have found sleeping- car berths "stuffy" will appreciate the following, borrowed from tbe New York Weekly: Two tramps were preparing to spend the night in two pie. vs of drain pipe which had been left for some reason by the roadside ' "I say, Mike," said the first one^ as he crawled in, "this ain't quite so warm as a palace car." "No," said Mike; but there's more room." SaperstltSoa. A gentleman who had been^ dining at a restaurant and who often or­ dered a dozen oysters, counted them one day and found but eleven. Still another day he counted them with the same result Then he said to the waiter: "Why do you give me only eleven oysters when I order a dozen?" •Oh, sir," answered the waiter, didn't think you'd want to be settin* thirteen at table, sir!" Combinations in Dominoes. Tbe mathematical fiend has been at it again, and now makes to a shud derlng world the announcement that "two persons playing dominoes ten hours a day, and making four moves a minute, could continue 118,000 yeajs w.thout exhausting all the com binations of the game, the total of wbich is 248,52t>,211,840."--Albany Express. PKETTY girls are having their pic­ tures taken on cards just large enough to say that wrer teS '̂ fli'igie Mory of the world ha* thera fcfen 'a Ufic discovery abont wbich contend such magnificent dreams as ars being built up on certain recently dis­ covered electrical principles. Among these the foremost place, according to the Sprtngllefd Republican, must be given to tbe astoundiog discoveries of the young Servian genius, Nikola Tesla, which are so novel and so ex­ traordinary that tbe most imaginative of inventors are unable to foresee what form their development will take Just as experimenters were beginning to think that they knew all that could be learned about elec­ tricity, and that further improve­ ment most be in tbe line of more perfect mechanical application, Mr. Tesla «bowB us the electric fluid un­ der conditions in which it differs from ordinary electricity as much as liirht differ from beat A current of 2,000 volts will kill a man in the twinkling of an eye, but this modern wizard lets currents pour through his bands with a potential of 200,000 volts, vibrating a million times a second and showering from bim in dazzling streams of light. For some time after the experiment ceases his body and clothing emit streams and halos of splintered light The wildest dream of tbe inventor could not have foreseen that while currents ot low frequency are deadly, the3e are harmless. Mr. Tesla says that he will sdOQ be able to wrap himself m a complete sbeet of elec­ tric fire that will keep a man warm at the north pole without harming bim. Neither Merlin nor Michael Scott nor any of tbe wizards of old even wrought a more potent miracle, even in fancy. The meaning of this is too far beyond us to be realized at present. We can no more grasp its significance than Franklin could dis­ cern the electric motor in his caDtured thunderbolt Equally astonding and with more visibie usefulness is Mr. Tesla's discovery that currents of such enormous potential and fre­ quency can be transmitted without the use of wires. A room can be tilled with electricity from copper plates in ceiling and floor, so that electric lamps will burn without any connecting wire as soon as they are brought in. In tbe same way intelli­ gence and power may be transmitted without a circuit, doing away with the neccessity for trolleys, storage batteries and subways. When it is considered that such startling changes as this are already theoretically pos­ sible,it will be seen that in the inven­ tions upon which we so complacently congratulate ourselves we have only timidly paddled along tbe shores of the great sea yet to be explored. ""•WW* <W4 AU Inaccurate Addresses. The number of pieces of dead mail matter received at the dead letter office during tbe fiscal year 1893 was 7,131,027, an increase over tbe re­ ceipts of tbe previous year of 349, - 847 pieces, or a little more than 5 per cent This increase of undeliv­ ered matter, according to the Albany Press, is less than the per cent, of in­ crease ot matter mailed, as shown by tbe statistics of other branches of tbe oostal service, and would seem to indicate more care on the part of the people in addressing their letters, as well as Increased vigllence on tbe part of postmasters to secure proper delivery. The number of pieces treated in the dead letter office, including those on hand from the previous year, was 7,330,038. These were classified as follows: Five million four hundred and eight thousand nine hundred and forty-five were ordinary un­ claimed letters, 204,445 were ad­ dressed to persons in care ot hotels, 218,180 were mailed to foreign coun­ tries and returned by the various postal administrations as undelivera- ble, 50.941 were addressed to initials or fictitious persons, and 7,106 were domestic registered letters. There were 633,957 pieces ot mail matter of foreign origin, and 182.050 were ordinary letters without inclosures, having been once returned bv the dead letter office to addresses con­ tained therein, and, failing of deliv­ ery, were again sent to the dead let­ ter office for final disposition. Tne number of letters classed as unmallable comprise 1,144, contain­ ing articles which were not trans­ missible in the mails; 98,234 were either entirely unpaid or paid less than one full rate, and could not therefore be forwarded; 400,- $32 were either deficient or addressed to places not postoffices or to post- offices which had no existence in the State named, and were classed under the general head of "misdirected;" 35,918 were without any address whatever, and 2,040 were classed aa "miscellaneous." There were also received 83,246 unclaimed and un­ mallable parcels of third and fottrtfct class matter She Got a Pas*. Mayor Joe Rhinock of Covington, last evening related to his friends an amusing adventure of the day before. A colored woman, burdened with a lusty, squall ing baby, called at his office. •'Am dis de Mayor?*' she wanted to know. "It am," responded the executive ••Den jest you sit down and write ma a pass to Pruitts. Ky." she or­ dered without any palpable waste of words. His Honor explained that this was not one of his prerogatives and that her request would have to be laid be­ fore tbe chairman of the Council Rev lief Committee. "It does, eh?" asked inadame "l'se got to catch dat two o'clock train. Gimme dat pass or I leave de baby!" She made a motion to drop the pickaninny into Mr. Rhinock's lap That settled the argument She got the pass. --Cincinnati Com­ mercial. Making Dolla. It takes eighty men to make a Ger­ man doll Each man makes a small portion of tbe doll, but it is the same little bit all the time and about J,000 dozen dolls can be made in a day in some uf the big factories. Af­ ter the men tinisb the bodily portion of the doll, the women's woik be­ gins. They paint faces, put on wurs, dress tbe dolls, and pack them for The rope wbich PrendergSst stretch was not wkely saved. The reprieve of Piende than a Chicago scandal. "It tlenal outrage.--New Yo^k Bsoordtiv;. Give the lawyers time enough aadf they will prove that Carter Harrison^. committed suieide.--Minneapolis une. „',1 The day of Prendergast's execution ^ * has been postponed, tut for all that bs f-» ^ is getting nearer the end of tbe rope. ,\ i$f --Baltimore Herald ' J Prendergast's mind may be unlalt f aneed, but he was t ane enough to know .; ; what be was about, when he fired the' .. -i fatal bullet.--Troy Times. And now the print is to be that P^endergast is legally dead and cannot be executed. And yet they sa we hatfe lynch law.--Indianapol' News. The c'aim now is that Prendergas^ , has goae insane since his trial. The antics of the Chicago bench are enougb. ..1 to make anyone mad.--Minneapolis Journal. ; The reprieve of Frendergast, the/" man who murdered Mayor Harrison ol„ Chicago, is a mi-take. The assassin , was tried and found guilty. He shouUt „ *' :\l ba hanged.--Albany Argus. [ •"[ If Frendergast .has the usual luok ot ' insane murderers he will, on the •' mony of "experts," be sent to an any* ' > lum for a few months and be disf t': , charged "cured" on the testimony of. , some other "expe ts."--Detroit News#,.. The scope of the inauiry might be|. , profitably extended so as to include the|> t , sanity or honesty of the parties re*.1 soonsib e for this miscarriage of iua*;:.u tice. it is now c'aimed that whether '* found sane or : nsane he will escape the gallows.--Cincinnati T.mes-Star. H'ii fellow-prisoners in the Cook,..'. County-.jalf Snoutod: "Hang Prender* 'r gast," while a lesser murderer was pavt; - .Ing tbe penalty. Their apprehensioifl^ of the principles of essential justice UK^V clearer than that of the Chicago judge who stretched his authority to rorrieve the assassin of Chicago's late Mayor| Carter Harrison.--New York Te'< gram. . Corfoy'a Army. The judgment of Mrs. C<Mtey, Wi. in securing a divorce has been hand- , somely vindicated.--Washington Post* It is scarcely proper to pray fo#\- Coxey's army. Tiiey expect to prey •> for themselves. -- Cleveland Plaii», Dealer. « There should te no mystery about' "The Great Unknown* of Coxey'a army. His name is Dennis.--Bcsto Globe At its present rate of progress th_ Coxey Commonweal Army is bound t<|!4 get to Washington before the Capitofjij? Is moved to some other city.--Chic*g<p& Record. p|»; The gacd people at Salem, Ohio, fed ,, the Coxeyites on jelly cake By the time they reach Maryland they wilfpl' probably turn up thei 1 noses at 'tooth* •?. some terrapin.--Washington Post. f,ifi The worst difficulty that Coxey'a army has to contend with is the fact that stringent vagrancy laws are iif fo.-ce at all the principal points on it* *: line of march.--St. Louis Globe-DemV ?> ocrat. Gen. Coxey's army may dp some' in the interests of reform' by r attention to the inadequate provitWn made by most jails for the accommoda­ tion of large numbers of people at once--Washington Star. ^ The Brocklnridao-PoUarA Caa* -. Col. Breckinridge's halo is gone and be has only one Wing.--New Yorif •: World. The original Adam has this to hi^kl.^ credit: He did not attack the previou^ character of Eve.--Chicago Post J The testimony reveals that Miss Poi& " lard was engaged to three unmarried|?AK| men and finally sued a married maif. - " for breach of promise--Atehisoii, . Globa. , Instead of being a pillar of the churchy" L it is now asserted that Col. Breekinfc; , ridge was. never more than a rhetorical5.$ minaret, pointing the way upward, no? :: going himself.--New York Tribune. , As author or actress Madeline PoI#: lard's fortune seems to be made. T<jpr the woman who gets herself statesman's life his impecuniosity aftef the verdict is of small consequence.--I St Louis Post-Dispatoh. - • The assurance from Miss Pol that she will write a book giving 4 d< tailed account of her checkered caree is one of the severest blows Col. Breck#| inridge has yet received. This is sgfe case to which "would that mine enemjfp, would write a book" is not applicable!! --Detroit Free Press. . JS into JKoath Carolina In TrovMo. - This pity grows that the peo|s% South Carolina cannot resist the liqu< as well as they resist the liquor law. New York Advertiser. Apart from the revenue derived front;. _ it South Carolina has certainly no|-" made a startling success of the saloon ' business.--Philadelphia Call. ; The peop'e of South Carolina cait.. stand a good deal, but tbey are not qui ready to submit to wanton search seizure.--Minneapolis Tribune. The theory that the State can man*.', '• * a?e private business better than indif. viduals can do it has received a seri« ' v ous setback in South Carolina.--New? , ^ York Advertiser. The South Carolina dispensary liquor* , | law has proved a lailure, in spite o|^ v . Gov. Tillman's efforts to make the^ country believe that it is a success.--* , ' • Baltimor e American. . . * Gov. Tillman of South Carol vious of the "war" fame of Gove elling of Kansas and Waite of Color* ^ ado, started in to have a war on bill own hook.--Kansas City Star. » ' J It seems to be duo to Gov. Tillman of- • ' \ South Carolina to say that he is show*; • t ing a wonderful amount of pluck in eni-1 i forcing the distillery law there. Th<|^ ^ ^ whole liquor interest i3 arrayed againstf bim, and he has succeeded iu." them so far.--Boston Herald. crtf i Uovernor Watte* Gov. Tillman has supplied the "blood. ' Will Gov! Waite forward the bridles'#! --New York World. S| Colorado and Waite and South Caro*-: lina and Tillman both show that it i|| costly fun to elect cranks for Governors^' --Baltimore American. Gov. Waite conducts himself like af • man who spent his youth feeding naturally weak mind with a diet off dime novels.--Iiansa3 City Journal. # When Governor Waite married he',; was told that man and wife are one.: But until recently he never kneWp which was the one.--Chicago Post. When he thinks about Governol? Tillman's little affair in South Carop lina Governor Waite's complexion hjN said to turn purple.--Chicago Record^/ There is a growing suspicion thaf Gov. Waite is something o£ a blufferp ^ after all, an I doesn't really care aboutj^|= wading ia blood much above his shoe^T t.rma --Waah in nrtfin TCgnara m,.,. ... . .i

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