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wo mam. >btt«ot*ul»Uj to i«w« tin* »tmnv and of Imm and hoa«y? twill be bright and jolly Mosaom, but •otn*i«oir now MMBI nt^Micholy. '• tobt * iMif OB a •taglefcough, r it m*k*« »ou ahlvc r air that blow#-- the ieed» that quiver fiver 1-lovidiaa aanllght flMfl »yon any now song# to slug tlilt UHOlf 0 \ on know whore you are golag to »top? 1 taken room* ;n the very lop iMapJe"--r^cea quit« within reason. • aflSt ne»rby that you've !«aaad till fall? It' Him surely yon'll came and etui. I You eg Veopl«. DOCTOR HOBART. IFrom a story Mew Knglana by Edward W. Flags, la the Magazine.] Elsie Hobart was just a trifle hot tempered as she'bUsied berself about the little cottage preparing an early breakfast. Her husl-and had been out of work over a month and she had been obliced to support him and the children sewing day and night, until now she was almost disheart­ ened. She thought of her wedding day, when she walked from the church to the carriage on a bright- OVLY TKETQ THE CREDITORS HOUOHT WORTH TAKnca * 4-7 •• flowered carpet, while children scat- tend flowers; lately she had walked oo i kitchen floor. {Six years before, when Putnam Ho- bar* led his wife out ot the little rus­ tic church at Forsyth, the May sun shone encouragingly into his face. Smooth roads seemed to stretch out in every direction. Things went well for a year. Then the financial crashes came and he began to go down. He speculated with Elsie's money and lost in Then he became a clerk, with meager wages, and all this time their home life, with little monev to support it was becoming unhappy. Finally on the ]st of June, he was thrown out of employment entirely and since tben he nad hung lazily about, seemingly without am­ bition and with no aim to do any­ thing. It was now July and on this day, the 5th, he was to a cept a posi­ tion out of town for which he had ap­ plied in answer to an advertisement and it was to enable him to catch an early train that Elsie was preparing bteafcfast at this early hour, while the other viliaeers were still sleeping. As she went about her work, thoughts of the past tilled her mind and made her angry, while looking into the future she saw little hope. "He'll be back again, soon," she «s!d to herself. "The work won't suit him; 1 know it "' That morning he went to take the place. Two days later he camc back. The work was not to his taste--that was all he said. Two days after that, a writ, secured by some of his cred­ itors, was served and then the cred- liars came. But they found little "ii go.! IyWtft't le/vte No. St Hbfl there are two critical cases in the city. Will to* go?" •?Yes. if you wiIntrust me". "As I would myself,*' was the doc­ tor's reply. Soon the train for Robey was bounding westward* with Elsie aboard. Somehow her thoughts went back to the happy days following her marriage. A thousand images of her hu-;hand came to her mind. With ail his faults be had meant to he kind; in other circumstances, all would have been different; and although she was in the first flush of success she would have given up all for him eveih now. ' ....>* At last the. Kobey stat'on was ••called. As she alighted she was met ^by a hoy carrying a smoky lantern and a man muffled in fur. As Elsie stepped rorward, the man stared at her curiously. "Dr. Cay couldn't come," she said. ••That's the word we got, " said the man behind the fur collar. "Said he'd send one jest as good. We hadn't counted ou it's bein' a woman, though. The gal's alwers ben puny," he continued. Then they left the station and presently they came to a house where lights were burning in the lower rooms. EJsie was shown into a small sitting-room. The kitchen door stood ajar, and through It a short, thin 'woman soon entered. "I'm Mrs. Plympton, she said. • It's our daughter Henrietta. She's been ailin', off an* on, four years. "We've trigd no^end of medicines. Our doctor calls it angeling pectoris. He made a deal of Henrietta; he meant to marry her, miss." Elsie checked this torrent of speech when she could and sat down in the sick-room and watched her patient who was a young girl, perhaps 18. On the table by the bedside were bottles iand vials. She glanced at the labels and shook her head in indignation. "It's pneumonia," she said. "The girl has been treated wrong, alto­ gether wrong. It is atrocious bung­ ling." The room was still vibrating with her words when the attending physi­ cian entered. "Dr. Hobart," fobbed the mother, but she -could not go on. There was a moment of bewilder­ ing confusion. The family had with-* drawn, and Elsie, stunned and almost powerless, stood gazing at her hus­ band. This man of many schemes had grouped his way into a hisrh pro­ fession; he had floated into a hap- ha,?ar4 connection with some medi- Tb» ot 'i lif5- V THE iTTCIDniO PHTSICIA* EHTXBXD. Vf" T». OAT COULDN'T COME I f . BSC SAB>. enough to attach. In the garden rank wormwood and thistles look down on puny corn; there was a wood-pile in which wrecks of furni­ ture and the refuse of recent car­ pentry lay in a tangled heap; and in the house the prospect was not much better, Elsie's poor sewing machine being everything that the cred tors thought worth taking. Elsie went hack to her father's with the children. Her husband traveled westward to one of the river states. He would come back in a little while, he sai<|; he would begin life over again and be her lover once more. More than a year after his words were still ringing in her ears, uui« he baa never come back. The strongest links which bound them bad snapped asunder: the children all lay buried in the graveyard on the hillside. The physician who tried to save them was eloquent and ignorant ' In the early stages of the disease he prophesied their tweedy re­ covery; in a few days it was an easy matter to predict their death. W hen tfcelaat child lay dead before her, the wish to know . what tbe nature of medicines was, and what knowl­ edge* could do to save life, became a^ soUted purpose with Elsie. She. <v*ouldt>e a physic' an:?--and she would* :Y-'i»f ^ f^thful and thorough physcian entered a uiedical college in a prarle city. In four years she became . • ? physician in the City HospitaL She found time to do many things for 8hc was not pald- With steady " WOTves and cheerful presence, she Ministered tp the sick and to the Hjtrimr; if she could not save souls. In • '•rf* months she was known as a skilled •;iiW»'c'san; in a year she bad estab- i .Mshed that reputation throughout >#»» Iwspital. Iler appointment at the hospital come through the influence of tfce chief surgeon. She had been pleasantly associated with him in her M^ljUes; but her Platonic friend now ic her devoted lover. Her ex- bions did not satisfy him, and p&esire that her work should not and that their association not cease wrung heir secret tier reluctaat lips. iOy atteraoon in February she Itnoned to Dr. Gay's otftce. hM|re*lled to a consultation in , 'flf4 • > f c n > - 1 awart tho man a Sift her seat, and was talk inglna low voice to the man who satihtverlng over the tire. '•Are you warmer now, Putnam?" she asked, wben the men had disap­ peared in the ottca ••Yea" % His eyes shot swift, Inquiring glances, and she knew what he would ask. ' She was better when 1 came away. I think she will get well." "It would have been murder if abo had died. I called myself a mur­ derer when I left the house. 1 dldO't oare what became of me." , v He detailed his miserable experi­ ence before he came to Robey. He had gone down and down until he be­ came a very tramp. While the for^t IIres were raging, and the sun ^one day was waded in smoke, he losuhis bearings, and for days he traveled in circles It was night fall when ho come Into the village. It was rain­ ing, else he would have sought shel­ ter in the fields or under a grain- stack. Fathers of families glowered at him and pointed with their fingers toward the county house, live miles across the grain belt. At the Plymp­ ton cottage a young girl* looked piti­ fully at him, and begged that he might stay; and from that tlmo he had loved her as he could love. "I am not worthy of you; we ought never to have met," he groaned, "How can you say that and think of the dead children? Was it a bar­ gain for fcod and shelter? I want to love you; you must live so that i can; you must let me help you do it We must live together. Dr. Gay will help you to get work. I will go back to Forsvth--I will do anything--but we must not live apart" Putnam Hobart came to. the Beth- esda Hospital and, after a lingering illness, d it.d. Dr. Hobart went away with the body and after a week re­ turned and began the old routine again. Dr. Gay watched her day by day as she moved in black about the wards. Three months, six months, a year went by, and then again he told his love to the woman who now was tree. Forsyth. Robey, Bethesda, the four. graves, the great effort--all seemed to cluster about this moment of Els e's broken life. She had made the ascent alone. Should she go on aione? She hesitated long: but one night when the sun went down after the long day, with a smile born o) sorrow, but born too of love and con. fldence, she took the hand which wa9 held out to her. the c*l charlatan, and the few scraps of knowledge which .cltflDsr to him be­ came in his unskillful bands so many deadly instruments. His vanity so blinded him to his ignorance, that here he was experimenting on the irirl whom, as had juftt been toured into Elsie's startled ears, he claimed to love and even planned to marry. Ko lamiiiar word passed between tbe twa Elsie spoke only, in burning, trembling words, of the wicked mis­ take. Her thoughts were chiefly at this moment of the suffering girl. "I shall relinquish it to you," was all he said, and then he left the room and the house. Upon Elsie rested the burden of this young girl's life. ;*he worked unweariedly, while her heart beat wildly, to' wrest her pa­ tient from tbe influence of the drugs; and just as a little clock buzzed 12, tbe sickjtiri woke to con­ sciousness. After the dimnesdof the sick-room, the light in the kitchen seemed daz­ zling. The quick departure of Dr. Hobart was commented on, and Elsie listened in guilty silence. "I must take the early train," she said, as she gave her directions; "1 have to be at the hospital in the morning. If there is a change for tbe worse, you may send word to me at once." ' What's the name?" Mrs. Plymp­ ton asked. •'Send to Dr. Gay." ' 4 • The woman looked at her Inquir­ ingly. "Mebby you're his wife," said one "No. I am not;" and, with a good­ bye, she followed the boy with the smoky lantern. The Robey depot was kept warmed and lighted for the convenience of early passengers. Elsie sat on one of the hacked benches, while feverish thought* crowded through her brain. '•Your husband has baselv deserted you; call it by a milder name it you the . Bathing Habits of Birds. We never saw hawks or falcons bathing when wild. Trained birds, in good health, bathe .almost daily, and tbe bath of a peregrfae falcon is a very careful performance. But no nymph could be more shy of a wit­ ness than these shy birds, and it is not until after, many careful glances In every direction that the falcon de­ scends from her block and wades Into the shallow bath. Tben, after more suspicious glances, she thrusts tfer broad head under tbe water and flings it onto her back, at the same time raising the feathers and letting the drops thoroughly soak them. After bathing head and back she spreads her wings and tail fan-like on the water, and rapidly opens and shuts them, after which she stoops down and splashes the water In every direction. The bath over she flies once more to the block, and, turning her back to the sun, spreads every feather of the wing and tail, raises those on the body, and assists the process of drying by a tremulous mo­ tion imparted to every quill, looking more like an old cormorant on a buoy than a peregrine. If a man nad nothing better to learn from the animals than the great lesson that cleanliness means health, the study of their habits would be well iepaid, and it is not the least reproach to be brought against our own zoological gardens, that these fine hawks and falcon^ while deprived of liberty, are denied tbe only means ot that cleanlniess which would make captivity eudura- ble. The peregrine falcons at these gardens are kept in a cage sanded like a canary bird's, with no bath at ail, and no room to spread their wings. Sparrows, chaffinches, robins, and in the very early morning, rooks and wood pigeons, bathe often. One robin we knew always took his bath in the lalcon's bath after the hawk had finished. The unfortunate Lon­ don sparrow has few shallow places which he can bathe, % and a pie-dish withe leads del gh Taking one cops the messenger-boy's lot is not a haftpy one. Tbey are rung up to all sorts of things at sp much an hour; but the strangest adventtfre that ever befell one of the boys had its location on the West Side. A woman q*tne into the office. She was heavily veiled, at are all impetu­ ous females, and she carried a t>aby. The manager was cut, but one of the boys Wts there to attend to business '•Want you to take this baby tot-- Washington Boulevard," she said. "Write a card, leddy," said the fcO* f ... v,:. '•You write ft"~ <. ,, He received the baby, anA the Wo­ man gave him an extra quarter. It was a well-behaved infant, ana chuckled at him as he danced it in his arms on the way to the house in Washington Boulevard. A man came to tbe door. Hf seemed surprised. "Here's d'kid," said the boy. , "What did?" asked the man at the door. "D* kid de leddy sent me with." "1 don't know anything about it." "Here's d' number in de book." "1 can't help that The baby does not belong here. We have no babies and never had any, and I don't want ycu to bring any here." The boy had become tired of shift­ ing his tiny burden, and was at out to lay it oo the doorstep when the man of the house objected. "Keep it," he said; "takeit away." "Won't you sign for it?" "No, I should say not Go on away, now. I don't care to have my neighbors see this." The boy stood out in front for awhile and then went back to the office. On the way, he was overtaken by two other boys, who greeted him with yowls of derision. "Oh, chqe! where did y' get it at?" they asked mjQ, But he was too much worried to enter into the fun of the thing. When he reached the office, the man­ ager was there "Here's a kid," said he, placing the baby on the counter, as be would have dropped any other bundle *lD* man wouldn't sign for it" , The baby begau to kick and then let out a faint siualL "Pick it up," said the manager; "you'll have to take care of it until the woman comes back. I don't want it" The boy was sure he had gone to the right number. He had not taken the woman's name, however, and could give no description of her, ex­ cept that she wore a dark dtess and seemed to be "all right" Througb the long afternoon he cared for that infant Sometimes he had to carry it up and down the room or jump it on his knee. The other boys assisted in various ways to entertain the small and blinking youngster. No woman came. That evening thq police were summoned, and they took the baby that no one would sign for and put It in a foundling's home. But they never learned anything more about the veiled woman.--Chicago Record. author, "I h^.ve attl iOl. ABK IO0 NOW, VUTVAM.1 will--this is what it means. Five years ago he promised to come back to you as jrour lover; to-night you have saved tbelife of the jtirl whom he professes to love"« There came a sound as of some one being dragged along the platform: and a railroad functionary emerged from a little office. • Is that Hobart? Don't say he's ben--" "No, he hain't" with convincing gestures; "bis breath's jes' like a rose." ' . t* "But whit's to pay, Tobf? Where was he?" . % '•Layin' ou the track, close to the switch. He seems to be thawm' out now,'-' continued the man. medi­ tatively., "I s'pose the trouble was WfUb&... & tmve The Roman at Tabic. A dish was prized for its oddity, rarity, or costliness, rather than for succulence or toothsomeness. Mighty curious reading are,the accounts that have come down to us of the great Roman "spreads," such as that which Lentutus gave on his election to the office of Flamen, or that with which Nasidienus mocked Horace and his friend?-. The menus on these occa­ sions would strike terror to tbe heart of a modern "maitre d'hotel" or ••chef de cuisine." What would be thought of a dish of echini, or sea hedgehogs, of thrushes served up on asparagus, and a fatted hen for course No. 1? Of haunches of wild venison and beccaflcoes (flg peckers, "Curruca bortensis"') lor the second9 Of a sow's udder, a wild boar's cheek, a ragout of flsb, ducks, hares, boiled teal, capers, furmenty, and Picentian bread for the third? The wealthy gourmands of Rome cherished a strong partiality for song birds. Both Horace and Martial re­ fer with approval to roast thrush; and Ovi^ recommends '^a crown of thrushes" as a lover's present to his mistress. Thrushes' breasts were one of the ingredients of tbe celebrated Apiciandish (' Patina Apiciana,";-- which also included beccaflcoes, mush­ rooms, sows udder,fish, and chickens --rivaling the heterogenous contents ot a gy^jsy's "pot au feu." Horace relates that the sons of Acrius, to stimulate their appetite for dinner, lunched on * nightingales ft monstrous price" And Varro tells s of the aviary of. Lucuilus, which aid ver he uld ext for uch 888- mal ma­ tes olds for tbe ion. I for and next •e is my 'twiHwtpuwwu wwiD u®*" 'was also a "salie a manger," so that left out of tbe Democratic tariff co^e gpjcure gratified his ears and his sions at Washington, but tbe woolg*>aiate simultaneously, feasting upon ere are farmers, and farmers oever^he delicate warblers wb jse congen- receive anything bat kicks and cuffs ftrs, unconscious of their coming the Democratic party. ' >iooiu< were discoursing meanwhile A . ( 4.ihe most exquisite music.--All the Mr. Gladstone regrets that free byear ];oun(j< has been steadily losing ground foi -- years, II to could live a tew year. 1 We.t.rn M.«'. UOIIKK,.,. er he would see the time when BU< "New Yorkers are the dumbest set ular* , ... . w„„„of folks I ever heard of," soliloquized thmgasfreetrade will be unknoflamlddle aged man w|tfc hTQ&^ any country. /brimmed hat and all the ear marks If the voters of the seventh Confof a Westerner, in a voice that could ional district of Kentucky can affoihe heard a dozen yards away, as he send Breckinridge back to Congress^ooa in the City Hall Park the other . . . . . . . . ^ d a y . " H e r e I ' v e b e e n w a l k i i g u p specimen of their manhood they «!an(1 dowQ and dowa and up these ford to do anything. ,crowded streets all day long and never It is by no means discreditable to a person to say as much as 'Howdy, a tor Patton, appointed by the govt^ranger,' to me once. When New of Michigan to fill the unexpired toners come out to Colorado they . . . . a . » u * w i c a n t a l k e n o u g h , g o o d n e s s k n o w s . tbe late Senator Btockbndge, thtIt,a nothln^ but talk> talkf ta,k all has no public record. On thecontrftjay lonar< They don't do anvthing is highly creditable. Professional o»l»e. I Know what I'll do. I'll go holders get too much, any-way. back home and stay there. I want Henry Watterson correctly aiagij^f. J.*"® Jnjnj?ea«' a persons say « • J. --A .something and where I can have Breckinridge s Lexington speech 'gomebody to t&lk to. strange exhibition of marvelous efl » Ye3, 1 believe the half of 'em mental jwere born deaf and dumb," he sa d, AU oyi* exhibit a tendency to become feral when the coitions of life are favorable, says a writer in the Australasian, in our climate cattle do ,qot rely upon the assistance of man for their support, and when his assistance is relaxed for any length of time they become wild. The Devon and Hereford being ex­ tremely light of foot and of lively disposition, have been consequently described as more apt to become wild than any other breed, but this 1 do not believe As a lad I was consid­ ered a good stock rider, and pens that I have had man? a wild gallop after many a half-wild Here- fords and Devons.. When they broke away one had to ride through the thick timber at a breakneck pace to head them, but once headed they were fairly amenable to the discipline of a bold and skill'ul stock rider. I had only one experience of hand­ ling a really wild herd of Durbams, and I remember how fervently I hoped that 1 would never see one of the breed again. They were much more easily headed than the swifter Rubies or Whitefaces, but directly they became knocked up they charged at once, and they meant charging. I can give an instance of wlldness In a well-bred Durham herd of the present day. On their owd pasture they are as quiet as pets, but from the t me. they are put into the trucks to go to market they become perfect demons. A stock agent once said of them; ••They will climb the fence to get at you when in the Fiemington yards." I saw a Devon herd during one of my rambles in Queensland, and I found them as 1 found all the station cat­ tle I saw in that colony, singularly quiet But my experience of Queens­ land cattle is, I admit very limited. All our domestic animals exhibit a tendency to become w.ld in Australia if they are neglected. I have known and heard of wild horses, cattle, dogs, pigs, goats, turkeys, geese, ducks, and guinea fowl. Abont Thunderstorm*. Why is a thunder cloud so black and lowering? Has the electric dis­ charge anything to do with it? spys the Chemical News. These questions have been partially answered by Shelford Bid well, who has recently described his experiments in a popu­ lar lecture. Lord Rayleigh has already showed that an electrified stiek of sealing wax will cause the scattered drops of a jet of water to unite into steady stream. Taking his cue from this Mr. Bidwell caused a bundle of points to discharge electricity into a jet of steam. It took on immediately the dark, dun- colored aspect of the characteristic thunder cloud, the number of minute floating drops being apparently enormously increased. Further experiments show that in­ candescent matter has' the same effect. It is well known that minute dust particles promote condensation by furnishing nuclei for the water drops to form around, and at first it seems likely that the effect on the steam may be due to dust frbm the discharging points or smoke from the incandescent wire or burning par­ ticles. This is not the case, however, for air in which the discharge has taken pla£e or which has been filled with smoke has no, effect on the jet The action seems due tD some direct action of light heat or electricity and whatever it is, it is doubtless respon­ sible also for the color of the thunder cioity-' • • Strength of Hortei. The great establishments have set a standard of good and humane treat­ ment by which the London horse has greatly benefited. Better and larger stables, good food and l(tter, and steady work, with regular day3 of rest, lhave lengthened the life and improved the physique of the Lon­ don horse A good brewer's horse, standing 17.2 was weighed bv Mr. Gordon and tipped the beam at just over the ton. The driver weighed 20 stone \'l pounds! The van, fully loaded, 6 tons 15 hundredweight, to which must be added tho harness, making a total with the driver of nearly eight tons. / Three horses draw the whole, and it was stated that, on the average, three horses now do the work which four did twenty years ago. The vans have improved, the roads (have im­ proved, and the horses have improved --especially the horses.--London Spectator. I'm a Baillie* An amusing incident occurn& lfra Scottish town near tbe border, where an ambitious wight had reached the summit of his desire, by being pro­ moted to the magisterial bench. With his head as high in the air as he could carry it, he swaggered along till he went bolt up against a quad ruped, which had not the manner to get out of the way of the new-made dignitary, and was laz ly browsing by tbe wayside. "Man, mind my coo," cried the in dignant owner. "Woman, I'm no longer Aown. I'm a baillie A Scale o'f Charges. Of late years there has been so much discussion and disagreement concerning the fees of medical men in Russia, that at last the govern­ ment has taken the matter in band and has settled a certain specialized scale of charges which doctors will in future be entitled to make in that country. Medical fees will now be chargeable in proportion, to the in come of the patients, and districts and classes have been duly classified in view ot this new regulation. Tbe OiwuT JcrMitoh <riff*tna' Fl»al S«lt«aM to CUmm 4 , oat s He was leading a irfelous-looking mastiff by a leather leash, when his friend stopped him with tho re­ mark: •'I thought you didn't like dogfc" • I don't," he replied. "Well, you've got about as big and vicious a one as you could Well Und.*' "1 know it, and I'm glad of it I'm going to make it mighty inter- | estiug for some people up my way. i You see," he explained, "everybody in the neighbourhood has a dog, and some of them have two or three lire's every kind of dog from apug to 8 greyhountt, and about haK Of , them use my yard as a meeting ; place 1 fall over them wben I go home at night and step on them when 1 come out in the morning. 1 One or more of them generally howl all night and some of them are such all-fired fine watch-dogs that they not only try to keep people out of | their masters' houses but £out of • every>house in the neighborhood. I. had a half hour's argument with one ' a few nights ago before he would let me get into my own house." "Now, I don't like dogs anyway, so I remonstrated with some ot the owners, but tbey told me that a dog was man's best friend and that I had better go off some where and die. Well, that made me mad, so i up and poisoned one of the dogs, thinking they wouldn't know who did it But they jumped at conclu­ sions and I was nearly mobbed. Then I tried a new plan. an interest in dogs. 1 told the neigh­ bors that atter all 1 guessed they were better than night watchmen OnoQf landsman' places which a sailor of ship's keeper. Every n shadows around tbe Sc piers in New York begin to a ble. |»that the lftj^ifrreet todiepen and the swirling currents of thfc i East River change from a greenish- i brown to dull, grimy black, men may ! be seen climbing up the companion- j ways of the trim American ships and the more or Jess untidy foreign ones. These men ace ^alled keepers. One of them stops over the rail of a big clipper and looks carefully about the deck.- - ,Afl§f!,ts few wOtds Of instruc- ,' tion the' lcrw»r goes at£o*e . and S leaves the big, black, lonesome htilk to the keeper's care. All over the ship, from stem to stern, goes the keeper. Into all the dark places away up under the fore­ castle deck, up one side and down the other, looking after the fastening of the lines leading to the pier, he goes, with his eyes trained to see in the darkness almost as clearly as a cat can, and sometimes with a cat for company. A sharp lookout is needed, tor, In spite of all tbe vigilance of the police, there are some ri.ver thieves yet left on the New York water-front , If it is a pleasant night so much the better. There is always a little life in the street and the gloom of night is lightened by the lamps on shore and the hum of the city's never- ending noises. But When the clouds gather and the wind begins to puff, 1 began to take and the sound of the flowing tide is increased by the "laft lap" of little waves, then comes the weary part of tbe night's business. Gently ac first* and exceedingly companionable. I i hut with constantly Increasing vol- *r^T4j < * 1 v expressed my Intention of buying.ohej myself, and x've got him," he sdlUl ' chuckling. "I've got one that is warranted to chew up anything on four legs that crosses his path, and . the neighbors can't say a word. They have their favorite dogs and I have 1 mine, and there's going to be great sport Come up and see it j "1 reckon there'll be one dead dog a day around there, and when every­ thing else is cleaned out 1'jI kill my dog. Maybe they think they c:tn run this neighborhood on s dog basis, but I'll bet. they can't" "But what will your wife $ay?"t , ((i don't care what she Says, 1'ltf running that place." . t "How about your children?" V ••Hey?" "If ycu turn that vicious brute loose what's to prevent his taking a snap at them when he feels ugly?" "Well, soak me, if I ever thought of that," looking sharply at the dog and shaking his head. "Say! Those asinine dog owners have got the best of me yet, haven't tbey? But I'll fix em! I'll flx'em yet! See if I don'tl I'll steal the license tag off of every one of those infernal pups, and then put the dog-catcher on. That's what I'll do! There's no infernal dog owner ever lived that can down Jere­ miah Wiggins. You don't know any. one who wants to buy a mastiff, do you? No? We'll, I reckon l'll have to kill him and call it a dead loss. 'But I'll have those license tags! You can bet on that!" r«oufcry at large The ploN||ias long been in success­ ful operation in England, France, and Germany, and need not be con­ sidered an experiment in any sense Still we are glad to see enough inter­ est manifested to try the plan, even in a small way.--Farm, Field ,and Fireside. • An Important Omission* Hope often exists without a sub* stantial foundation. In many in­ stances the man who spends bio life | waiting for his ship to come in wastes j his time, because he originally looking at the crowd hurrying home­ ward from downtown offices. "I've seen enough, and there's lots of sights, but Hike people that iry to be sociable to strangers."--New York Sua • The First Edition. When a man succeeds in his call­ ing he can afford to reveal the secrets of less prosperous days. A well- known writer of humorous prose and verse was talking with a bibliomaniac a few days ago, when the latter sai "Wy the way,' I am collecting fin J ^Narrow London Streets. *g*>roposed law that any new building erected in London shall have its front not less than twenty feet from the middle of the street, has brought out the fact that there are in the heart of the c ty thirty-two miles of street less than forty feet broad. If the principle were gener ally applied, on a plan of reconstruc tion of streets, land to the value of about $40,000,000 would be sacrificed. aiAX.s and tribulations are . very 1 to making a man great, eiy hear ot a great man who ' 1u * . « i « • , » • • fJ i' - ' : i? iiy kI-J Nasal Honors. The vanity of the French race oc­ casionally meets with an amusing check It is related by a Parisian journal that a public man had been awarded, for some indirect service the African order«of L&baksi-Tapo by the king of a certain country in th$ Souian, with which tbe French had come much in contact. The Frenchman was greatly de­ lighted, and immediately went to a member of the ministry to obtain the necessary permission to wear the decoration of this foreign order. The minister hemmed and nawed a little "Do you know what the decoration consists of?" he asked. "Certainly," the gentleman an. swered. "It is a beautiful ring ot gold, from which is suspended a calu­ met enameled in red. I demand tbe authorization to wear it" • KDertainly you can wear it, but it must be worn, in order to be' lawful, exactly as the memh^f o| In Africa wear it" ' • i '•-.. "And how is that?* v; - :* • In the nose!" ' Tbe newly appointed cavalier of the Labaksi-Tapo ran out of the door, and is declared by the journal which tells the story to be "running yet*' Swapping Horses. A good story is told In Vermont of a horse trade between a horse trader and two • •smart"' young men. The former Is •'square" as such men go; but when a man tries to cheat him he must be wary. One Sunday the two young men sa d thev had a hOrse to swap. The trader looked the1 horse over and then gave the young men a horse to try. He drove their horse round the corner, got out, and care­ fully inspecting him found be had been bled. He said nothing. When he arrived at the stable be told the young men that their horse was not quite what he desired, but finally he traded for $100 boot Just as the ypung men were starting off with their new borse one of them smiled and said: "Ob, we forgot to toli you our borse is subject to fits." ' 'Is be? 1 am very much obliged. If you had hat mentioned it I should have forgotten that mine fi, too.--- ]$ider and Driver. At Her Feet. Among tbe many pieaaaat stories told of Thackeray, is one related by Mrs. Yorke wife of the Dean of Worcester. She chanced to be sit­ ting one evening between Thackeray and "Jacob Omnium," whose build was more gigantic than Thackeray's own. Conversation, from some cause unknown, was languishing, when Tnackeray turned to her and said: "Mrs. Yorke, why are you so silent?" ••I am overwhelmed by the greatness of you two," she replied, glancing right and left at their massive frames. Thereupon, moved by com­ mon impulse, Thackeray and "Jacob" slid from their chairs and sat on the ground at her feet "as a slight token of homage to one whoso wit equaled her beauty." WOMEN can have good times, and be good-natured afterward, but a ume, comes tbe snow. The wind be­ gins to whistle through the taut rigging, the lights gradually become less plain, the passing of a ferry boat is known only by tbe noise it makes, and with his oiled coat and sou'­ wester buttoued on and down, the keeper makes a hurried ,trip to tbe pier to see that his lines are fast There they are tense and rigid as fiddle-strings. Then back on deck he goes to cover hatches with tar paulins, shut all doors, crouch under the weather rail and ' 'let her blow." Blow she does, and the whistle in the rigging changes to a shrill piping as thbugh a gigantic .4olian harp were suspended in the air over his head. The high sides of the ship feel the lorce of the gale and she togs and straius as if full of life and trying to escape from oondage. But it will not ao to stay under the sheltering rail for long. (Jp and out again, for on nights like this the ••'longshore pirates" love to do their work, and a sharp knife and a swift cut may mean a few lathoms of hawser for the thief and unknown damage to the ship, since junk shops are oot particular and there is an­ other pier only a rod or so away, So it goes all through the night and when morning comes and the shore people appear ready for **ork they find tho tracks of the keeper in every part of the ship where snow has settled, and up aud down the pier, mute but indisputable evidence that if anything is wrong it is some­ thing the presence of the could not prevent . *.. A//*•' • vT * ' T?v; ' a*;-.- T Wi - ' • • Why the Clock Stopped. A local corporation, recentlv or­ ganized, established its headquarters on tbe top floor of one of the tallest buildings in town. The attorney had a room to himself; the secretary was given another palatial apartment; the superintendent reigned supreme lu another place; the president was, of course, compelled to outdo all the others in leather-cushioned chairs, massive tables and.expensive bronzes. The crowning glo°ry of his office was a big clock with an elaborately carved case It was the best clock in the entire stock of a local dealer, and it had a long, shiny pendulum, which was to swing slowly and with regu­ larity as became a clock owned by the president of such a solid and respect­ able corporation. - • On the first day the pendulum • stopped. The clock was sent back to ^ " 1 1.1 running the dealer, whose experts took it apart oiled it and set it to again. Once more it was taken up to tbe president's office and once more it ceased running. For a, sec- ond time the experts dissected it and found every part in working order. It kept time to the second for two days, and was confidently returned to the buyer, who reported back again in two hours: 'The clock has stopped." - i I An architect who became quainted w i t h t h e f a c t s i n t h e c a s e / - _ . i solved the mystery. He said the o - ~ dilation of the high building coun- teracted aud stopped the swing ot * the pendulum. The pendulum ^ /• couldn't work with any regularity so';'.MV4;-,, 1U.UK as the buiiuing was nodding'" > around in the changing winds like a' 1 cat-tall before a summer zephyr. "So .the tall buildings do swing back and forth?" he was asked. ;,/S i*' •> ••Certainly, but don't be afraid; they'll not break."--Chicago Record, i, ?/*' "j . ' ; ; - Too Clever By Hair. Most persons go frequently from, one end of the city to the other with- ' out having the slightest adventure or observing an incident worthy of f. . 4 note. Not so, however, with an up-.'"/' ' town youth, who has been steeping,. hlmseft in the literature of Gaboriau and Conan Doyle To his super- /4'*^ heated imagination the most com- monplace persons he encounters on a, ^ down town trip are invested with ro-' ' mance and engaged in some dark in-^f|>|F trigue or diabolical plot He does not hesitate to interpose decided ob-^.r^ ; jections when be thinks the game v has gone too far. Recently his chiv- V"^ alric intentions were severely chilled while riding on a Fifteenth Street trolly car. He noticed that a gen­ tleman who arose to leave the car had adroitly abstracted a parcel from the basket of a lady in the next seat; The youth stopped the man abruptly, and pointing to the lady's basket or- , Vc \ dered him to put the parcel back. , The couple only smiled at him in '. V great astonishment and the lady re- ,4. fj', marked: "He is my busban sir." ' ,< t: Tbe amatuer detective also left the car.--Philadelphia Record. A LIS is more modest THAT*;; truth. You occasionally hear of one that is bare-faced, but you hear every * , truth that is naked. i , {4 \M' Lkite *