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Pledged but to Trutht to Liberty and Law| No Favors Win us and no Fear Shall Awe." VOL. 24. M'HENRY. ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 4, 1899. ^ejjeify ̂ lairiealer. Fosjushsd Evkby Wkdnbsday by . V A N S L T K B , •DITOB AND PBOPB1BTOB. ^ 4tiftr|CC IN THE NICHOLS BLOCK '1 *Wo Door* North Owta * Chapell's Store, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: Of* yaar (inadvance)..... #160 fir Mo* Paid within Three Month! .. S 0M Subscription* received for three or six months in the same proportion. V RATES OF ADVERTISING: v-Wie announce liberal rates f i r advertising In the PlairOkalkk, and eniesvor to atate thom so plainly mat they wiu be readily un- uerst toa. 'i'n«y are as follows: 1 lncnone year ... ... 5 00 io oo 15 00 30 00 60 00 100 00 g Inches one yaar, V Inches one year .. X Uolumn one year H Column one year 1 Column one year.., One inch means the measurement of one Ineb down tue column, single colli inn width. Yearly advertisers, a t the above rates, have the privilege «>* changing as often as they ehoose, without extracharga. t tegular advertisers (meaning those having atanuiug cards) will be entitled to insertion oi local uoticcsat »he rate ot & ceiits per line eaon wee*. All others viti be charged lo cents per l ine the l i re t week, and 5 cen t.# j.er line lor en oh subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged K the rate of 10 cents per line, inwnparell t> pe, same as this is set in) the llret issue, »n0 6 cents per line tor subsequent issues. Tnue, an incn advertisement wwi cost *1.0o for one week, fl.51 tor two weeks, W.w for three weeks, and so oo. The fLAiNDiBALWH will be liberal in giving e d i t o r i a l nonces , b u t , as a business r u l e , i t will reqaire a suitable fee trom everybody seeking the uaeot Us columns lor pecuniary gain, 49* All Foreign Advertising payable quar­ terly, in auvauoe. fc These terms will be strictly adhered to. BUSINESS CAKDS. w. O. ANNERS. PRACTICAL WATCHMAKER. * WEST MOHENRY. •LBY'S DRUa rrOnB. ILL. MA o. H. GILLMOBB, , TTOE *BY Probate work a speoialty. Ofllt-e in Kendall B ock. Vluod took HI. P J. f. OASB1, ATTOBNEY and Ooun.eloi at Law. Ollee in Joslyn'e Block, Woodstock, 1>1« to pec-l*t utient.on given to trial oases. KNIGttT ft BttOWK, A1TOEKKY a'T LAW, 110 Wash og on street, Uaioago, 111. FRVSK L. 8 KPAED COUNSELLOR AT L*.W, suite 80--188 Clai k t> ireei, Unicago, 111. ( .S, O. P. BARStES, * A tTORNEY, Solicit>r, and Counselor J\ Oolie > iious a specialty. Woodstock, ill. * FRANK R. JACKMAN, AT1'0«NEY a n t Counselor »< Law. rrompt and careful alter tion to all mat­ ters leit in my hands. Money to loan, cimce - in Hoy block, woodstcek, 111. telephone-- Office, 65, residence, 69. «>6yl DAVID G. WELLS. M. D. iiiV^OttYSlCIAH AND SURG EOS, Office in /r r >ichols_Block, over fiain«ealer office. £^,McHe"y. B WT w» a Telephone No* 2 'W 0. M. fEGERl, *. D. *W> pHTRICl VN AND SURGEON, MoHenry, ill. Office at Residence. . R. A. E. AURlNUEtt, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEOA. Office In the Stroner building, one door west of A. P. baer's store. West McHenry, 111. Residence, b«ase formrrly occu ied by Dr. Osborne. Ail professional calls promptly attended to. W. P. ST. CLAIR, Justice ot the Peace and Notary Public Meal Estate and Insurance. NUNOA. HI. JOHN P. SMITH, Watohmaker «Jtt Jeweler MoHENRY. ILLINOIS. k EIKE stock of Oloeks, Watches and Jew* rx elry always on hand. Special attention Ivea to repairing An* watches. Give me eall JOHN P- OMITS, T "W. A. CRISTY, rftiartlco of tb.e Peace. WEST MoHENRY, ILL. Special Attention paid to Collections. Will be in my Office over Evansot's Store, every 8a urday and Monday, until further notice. . ' H. C. MEAD, Justice of the Peace and GeneraI In- mtranee Agent including Acddmt and Life Insurance. -v:1* wkht hohknsy, ilu A. M. CHURCH, Watoliiuakeraiid Jeweler No 126 Mate Street, Chicago. tjBp0eial attention given to repairing Fine watches an l Chronometers. 48T* A fill Assortment of Goods in bis line. icfioiMi Having bad several y«irs •xt»erien«e fell­ ing farm and other aa'as. I now call attention to the fact th 11 feel ««ke getting a GREAT "HUMP" On. mts^lf ard sell y ur farm sales in JlcHenry as well as Lake Oo wtth a great DETERMINATION Necessary tnobta'n *ool ms-lts <hu4«elo*s Jtlmes, 1 am satisfied that It requires the 'same VIGOR AND PUSH To sell la^m Ha'es and b« snnces'fnl as it d»f s to enop wood or sell you a farm in Ar kansas. either of which I am willirg to ao iWh'B cli'd. of vou will know that 1 /have h*d snd atill h^v^ m* o,h experience I ne jnct eu'h gro ts and s<o-k as you will *rff*r at public auct on ttiu spring, lhere < .re I shoul I > now tbeir value and h w to j|cat at 8«l>in« the sv"#' lor the mo«t money • dropping theart'cl^ with the oDe <hit some-' ,t mes p\y« his note, i am qnf e a eood hid der a""em always looking lor burgai s. 1 • be'leve 1 n«n do m"re for you than can the Tb; o'bers for the «»u.e or less "-opt. If I did r.-t fts! su je of the abive and w»s no'- in >iea<l e% nest and wilnng to try. o- abort notice, I would not bssn weileqnipped An alarm turned in by postal may reveal mexpected results. Us a Couple ef Times tour obedient »n<i unsystoun th fr««ad Dr. Walter 0 Besley, DENTIST WEST MoHENRY. OSes over Be»ley's I Wood^t ick Office Drag Store, . I Kendall Dental Parlors. Will be at McBenry office Mondays and Tuesdays. A t Woodstock office Wednesdays, Thurs­ days, Fridayfl asd N*turday s. KX VMINATIONS FRBE. MILO J. L, HOWH', PIANO A-ORGAN ) __ -- Tuner «fe Repairer, i mc2lnr* 4, All Orders Promptly Attended to, DR. BAECHL ER DENTIST ^*lata Work and everything psr- fining to Oent.stry. .Parties from a distance should drop a card a day or two beiore coming. Office. MoHenry. C. Fa BOLEY, Prosrielor of McHenry Brwery, McHEXRr, IfjL. Always on Band with the Bant Beer SMOKERS 1 Wlieii in Want of a Good Cijar! CAI.T. AT • ••e e<»« >< GEORGE W. BESLEY'S, west Mchenry, ill., « - --DEALEB IN-- DRUGS, i MEDICINES, PAINTS, TOILET ARTICLES. Pure Wines and Liquors for Medical Pur­ poses, also Bottled Ale and Porter. The best brands of Cigars and Smoking and Chewing Tobacco always on hand. Physicians' Prascriptiens Carefully Compounded. C. W. West McHenry, Jan. 6, 1899. > > • a a 9 •one M l BARBIAN BROS, Oisrar and THE OLD BEL1ABLK Tobacco Dealers. OUR (SPECIALTIES: Our Monogram, 10c. Barbian's Best hand made 5c The beet cigars made. Sold by all local dealers. ) PEBBY & OWEN, Bankers, MoHENRY* -ar--> ILLINOIS. This Bank receives deposits, buys and sella Foreign and Domestic Exchange, and does a Gteneral Banking Business We endeavor to do all business en­ trusted to our care in a manner and upon terms entirely satisfactory to our ens- tomers and respectfully solicit the public patronage. ^ MONEY TO LOAM On Real Estate and other first claw security. Special attention given to collections. INSURANCE In First Class Companies at the Lowest Rates. Tours Respectfully, PERRY & OWEN Notary I?uT»Uc. A Money Saver I FOR YOU, ' CU8 CARLSON, it his Harness Shop, near the Red Bridge, has now in stock the finest as­ sortment of Robas, Blankets and Whips To be found in McHenry Connty. I have something new in the Robe line that wae never before offered in McHenry County. Call and see them. It is something Neat, Dnrable and Cheap If you want to save money call aud see me. Also on band a fine stock of SINGLE & DOUBLE HARNESS Which will be sold cheaper than the same goods can be bought elsewhere and war­ ranted as represented. REPAIRING Promptly Attended to -- Do not fail to call at once and get the benefit of our bargains. CU* CARLSON MoHenry, III., Oct. 10. 1898. NEW HOTEL A N D Boarding House Water Street. MoHenry. ANTON ENGLEN, Proprietof. Having completed my new building I am now prepared to take Boarders by the Day or Week, Give them the best accommo­ dations, and at KEASOXABLE RATES. My Rooms are all newly fur­ nished, well ventilated, and the building is practically Fire Proof. No pains will be spared to please ail who may favor me with their patronage. ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry, I1L, 1897. ftVANSON'S In the closing days of the old year we desire to express appre­ ciation for generous patronage bestowed on the store. You have been told of our doings through the paper every week. You have responded. You have brought us good will and cash. We thank you for both. A few fancy articles suitable for New Year's' Presents at reduced prices to which your attention is invited. WISH YOU A HAPPY- NIW YEAR. JOHN EVANSON & CO. West McHenry. Illinois. Furniture and Undertaking THE West Side Furniture and Undertaking Store is the place to buy, as they have the largest . and most complete stock in the county. They have the largest assortment in Carpets, Chamber Suits and Extension Tables Of all kinds>nd at all prices. A complete stoek of all goods as is usually kept in a furniture store. flVKM Undertaking a Specialty. As we have Caskets and Shrouds, from the cheapest to the very best, io stock at all times to select from. Yon can see-what you get. N. J. JUSTEN. DAILY ZEI^CrCTFUSIOlSrS Through first class and Tourist Sleeping Cars to pointe In California and Oregon every day in the year via the Chicago, Union Pacific and North-western Line Personally Conducted Excursions Every Thursday. LOWEST RATES SHORTEST TIME ON TH^ROAD FINEST SCENERY, Only routt by which yon can leave home any day in the wee«c and tr «vel in tourist ears on fastest trains all the way. For pamphlets and Information Inquire of nearest agent. BOARD OF SUPERVISORS. The honorable board of supervisors of McHenry County met in special seession at the i:ourt bouse in Woodstock, III., on Monday, the 5th day of December, 1898. Meeting called to order by the chair­ man, W. A Cristy. •\t roll-call the following named super­ visors responded: Saps. Brotzruan, Shurtleff, Beck, Lake, C.>rnue, Desmond, Mills, Stevens, Weltz'eu, Hoy, Clark. Jones, Hatsh, CriBty, Gracy and Dike. The report of the September grand jury was read to the board, and, on motion of Sup. Beck, was ordered print­ ed with the proceedings of the board. to~wit: To the Hon. C. H. Donnelly, Presiding •lodge of the Circuit Court of McHenry County, at the September Term, A. D. 1898: We, the grand jury, chosen and empanelled at the saii September term, do hereby report to your honor that we Have finished the work, so far as we know, to come before us at this term: that we have examined the county build­ ings and jail and find the same in good repair, well kept and the prisoners well fed and clean. We would further report, so far as we know, that there are no other matters to come before Ub, and we ask this honorable court to receive this report and dismiss us for the. term. All of which is reepectful'y submitted by said grand jury through its foreman. Adam Westekman, Foreman. D. F. Quinlan, Uerk. The official bonds of Geo. F. Rush ton, Prank F. Axtell and Will. E. Wire were presented to the board for their appro­ val, and, on motion of Supt. Beck, were referred to the committee on finance. Petition of the highway commission- era of the town of Algonquin, for aid in constructing a bridge across Fox river near the village of Cary, III.; was pre­ sented to the board, and, in compliance with the law in such cases made and pro­ vided by the statute, the chairman ap­ pointed Sups. John Weltzien, Wm. Des­ mond and £. D. Shurtleff as a special committee to meet the highway commis­ sioners of said town and view the bridge and report their findings to the board. Petitions for franchise for constructing an electric railway through the towns of .Riley, Marengo, Coral, Seneca, Dorr, Greenwood and Hebrou were presented to the board and referred to the commit­ tee on roads and bridges. The annual reports of the sheriff, county and circuit clerks, treasurer and superintendent of schools were read to the board and referred to their proper committees. On motion of Sup. Hoy the committee on public buildings was instructed to have the sheriff's residence wired and fix­ tures placed therein for the use of electric lights in said residence and jail. Sup. Hoy moved that the fixing of sheriff's salary, clerk hire and other mat­ ters of that nature be referred to the committee on fees and salaries. Carried. The election expense account from the several voting precincts of the county was presented and referred to the com­ mittee on elections, , Sup Hoy moved to adjourn until 8 p. M for committee work. Carried. THREE P. M. Rnaid met pursuant to adjournment. At roll call all supervisors answered to their naaies except bup. CoveH. The committee on fees and salaries •nade the following report, which was adopted, to-wit: Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen of the Board of Supervisors: Your committee on fees aud salaries would beg leave to submit the following report on matters before them: That there be paid to the sheriff as salary the sum of twelve hun­ dred dollars ($1,200) per year; also b« it resolved that, in the opinion of this committee, that a competent, able- bodied man should be employed by the sheriff as a janitor and jailor, who should be required to give his whole time to the performance of said duties, that it shall be the duty of the person so em­ ployed to build and care for the fire in the jail and court house and see that the said offices, jail and rooms are properly swept, kept clean and in good repair, al­ so th'at the property of the county in and about the said court house and jail shall be kept in good condition and re­ pair, and that the sheriff shall be charg­ ed with the duty of instructing said jani­ tor in the discharge of his duties; also be it further resolved that, to enable the sheriff to employ a competent man to perform the duties heretofore enumerat­ ed, he shall be allowed the sum of $35 psf month, which shall include the board of said janitor, and that the pay of said janitor shall cease when he shall tail to pet form the said duties herein re juired of him. Your committee would further recommend that the sheriff be allowed fifty (50) cents per day for dieting prisoners. AH of which is respectfully submitted. NO. 27. COUNT Y SCHOOL BOY \VM. Desmond, Chm. R. J. Beck, -Jobs Weltzikn, S. E. Clark, J. H. Gracy. The committee on poor farm made the following report, which was adopted to wit. Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen of the Board of Supervisors: Your committee on poor farm beg leave to submit the following report: Committee met at poor farm Wednes­ day, Nov. 30,1898, for the pnrpose of taking the annual inventory and tran­ sacting such other business as should properly come before them. The committee decided to recommend to your honorable body the acceptance of the proposition of Dr. E. V. Anderson to continue the treat ment at the poor house, on the same terms as heretofore, viz: Two and one-half dollare ($2.50) per visit and he furnish his own medicine. Your committee would further recom­ mend that I'. H. Brown be retained for the coming year as superintendent of poor house and farm at a salary of one thousand dollars ($1,Q00), he to employ all necessary help. The following is an inventory of farm products, farm stock, fuel and groceries, farm implements and household furni­ ture and supplies: run FBOUTTCTS, 860 bn pot&toe*..S144 . 8 bn earrota 4 hu onion* 1 bbl ptckim.... 5 bo I.eets 1 *tack stra v.. 600 ' u oats.... M bn tim seel.. 10 bu pop oorn . <00 bu corn 20 bu turnips.... 7 bu parsnips ... 40" bead cabtrng* I bt>! siurkraut . 3 st'k8 corn fod'r 37 loos hay 4 . 8 . . 8 . . 2 . . 25 .. . 1A0 . . 68 70 . 7 60 . 188 .. VABM STOCK. 4 .. 880 8 . SB .. 238 10 bu baaiu 10 TOUL *808 70 1 gray mare $ 50 . 1 span mules .. 130. 4 heifers 2 yr old 120 . 2H ehoata 98 , 16 guin'ahtaa... 4 16 ducks 4 80 at i black ntare... 14 eowe I bull 18fat b"ga. ... 60. 80 141 Total .. .. |U57 80 FOBL AND GROCERIES 450 lba floor | 9 .. 45 lbs tea 18 .. 8 lbs codfish, 48 tilbsaoda 86 10 lbs crackers ... 80 (>0 1bsUrii S6o «oo 1 8 fresh beef 2 bixea gold dnsi 40 1 lot stove wood.. 75 40gats vin'gar 3 90 * Raia eti'w ch'w. 1 B*i 128 qta cand fr't.. 25 20 15 gals eocene .... ! 20 5 bosee matches . 1 .. 8 gals crude car­ bolic acid 4.. 'ABU IHPLBMKNTS. 1 road wagon f25 .. 1 lumber 1 platform spring l truck wagon, wagon is 50 l hog rack 2 set dble harness 25 00 1 robe 1 pr hors^ blank's 2 .. 1 niowor ...< l potato digger... 6 1 eet bob sleighs.. 10 3 spades j so 1 gravel shoyl .. 75 l Tiger corn plow 10 " og 8crap«rs a 150 lbs coffee ..... 84 50 Solbssugsr 4 40 3 lbs soap... 80 15 lbs pepper 165 9C lbs flsh 6 75 20 lbf butter 4<0 2 sacks salt 40 ?0 tons coal .402 50 »« gals molasses.. 18 40 20 dos eggs 3 40 3gals sw pick ... lio S gats sag c'n s'p. 4\ •i uais gas»line ... 20 2 bills salt 190 Aad His Joke Wheeler. Total hook l curry comb *ad brush , ..... ... 1 d-»hovel plow .. 10 barrels • 1 swill oirt i roller I axe i water tank t seeder 1 bummer 100 f t rub'r lioee.. _ 1 oeering binder. 50 I riding plow... . 25 l feed cutter and power 1 hay rack 1 wheelbarrow .. 1 post auger... ., 1 stencil plate.... 1 disc pulverizer 2 plows 1 screwdriver.... 1 broad axe 1 cold chisel.. ... 1 window pump., l 16-ft cable cbaln 1 t r w square 2 pr p.pe tonga .. 1 trowel 2 funnels 2 scythes ud snaths ...... 1 ice saw 2 potato forka ... 1 garden rake ... 1 level 1 square ......... 2 monkey wree'a. 1 block piano. ... 1 hay knife ...... 1 step ladder... . Schlaela 1 plow 150 75 150 5 7 SO 60 5 13 50 2 55 4 150 78 1 15 8 50 1 25 250 1 70 8 60 26 2 2 1 25 75 75 1 50 85 150 175 IK 12 1 corn marker.... 1 crow bara ...... 2 shovels .. 4 s'oop shovels... 6 forks 1 barn broo ji ..... 1 sin'e shov plw.. I wire tooth hay rake wire streiener.. 140 gal jars I ladder 1 buek saw I g r u b hog 1 hand take I pr ice tonga 75 f t canvaa cov­ ered hose 80grain bags . ... 1 potato hitler.... 1 bay carrier, fo'k and rope 1 stone boat 6 corn knires 1 work bench and vice. loom planter .. 172 tooth drag .. 1 tape lino 1 pr pliers " aligator wrenoh sprinklers I 2 inch auger 1 pr compasses... 1 grind uione 1 hog ringer 1 oil stone 1 bush suyt'ean'h 5 hoes ... 1 pick 1 Fairb's scales .. 3 band sawa . . . . 1 bevel square... 1 plane 1 brace, 6 bits ..., l maul l draw shave .*084 54 50.. 15 .. 8 .. 6 .. 80.. 1 .. 150 1 •• 2 50 160 25 2 15 40 50 1 .. 50 50 175 85 50 150 125 75 8 .. 850 20 76 150 50 75 Total less 60 notTSEtlbU) FtTBWITUBE & StTPPMSS, 57 bedsteads. ...fSOO 25 blankets ....... 8050 150 sheets.' 45 90 piiljw cases .. d 1 rang* & fixtures 80 1 boiler stove ... 5 1 range iSuptb).. 80 1 pr handcuffs 2 cuspidorea.. 8 mops 10 stands * settees 6 office chairs 1 milk tank 18 i n oups 20 palla 4 padlocks 1 wash tub 2churns . . . . . . . . . . 2 4-gal jars ....... 21 towels. 13 pie plates 6 milk pans 12 soup dishes ... 40 kniveH*& forks 18 brooms 1 hand lamp ...... ! clock ... tit 1 milk can 1 cabbage ontter 2 bells 2 Is n terns 2 butterdishes .. 2 bed pass 1 pr crutchea ... 47 plates 2 milk pitchera.. 2 bracket lampa.. 14 deep dishes .. 50 teaspoons 4 dining tables.. 1 pr shackles .... 1 pr mitts 3 150 160 7 15 12 2 65 2 GO 2 5 80 3 60 1 9ft 1 20 1 . 320 86r 25 'So 2 450 75 20 60 com for ta 40 bed ticka 40 pillows 12 quilts 1 heating stove . 1 gasoline atove. 12 barrel kettle. I pr clippers. 40 chambers 32 40 71 « '*1 8141(1 21 <t. 5 . 15.. 2 .. 2 11 mirrors 9 bureaus 10 1 office desk 25 4 rocking chairs.. 6 18 setters (milk).. 8 25 2 dish pans. 2 22 tin basiha 180 4 wash baalos .... 40 4 wash boards .... 25-gal jara •2 3-gal jars.. 60 2 platters t2 sauce platea... 2 uigar bowls 25 25 cups A ssucera 2 50 5 butcher knlvea 150 1 offlce lamp 1 I cleaver . 75 85chairs 13 1 sewing {machine 25 4 lard c«na 150 17 bowls 170 1 clothes wringer 1 1 5-gal ker san 1 50(2 buiier no wis.... 0 1 pitch & 2 bow la 5 hanging l»mps . 1 sonp tureen .... 50 tablespoons.. . 1 offlce table moff........ .... 2 3 76 20 1 1 40 150 8 2 160 150 1 2 8 75 SO 150 2 1 Total BBOAFITULATIO*. Farm Products Fuel and Groceries farm Stock Farm Implements .J, Household Furniture and Supplies CI rand total ..*80870 .. 664 54 .. 1157 80 .. 556 60 .. 929 89 •4,112 58 All of which is respectfully submitted. L. T. Hoy, Chairman. R.J. BECK, Wm. Desmond. C. F. Dike, F. E. Stevens. On motion of Sup. Cornne board ad­ journed until Tuesday at 10 o'clock A. M. TUESDAY, TEX A. M. Pursuant to adjournment, all soper- visors present at roll call except Sun. Covell. After convening it was ascertained that several of the committees were not ready to report and the board adjourned »"*») 2 P. M. TWO P. M. Board met pursuant to adjournment. At roll call all supervisors present ex­ cept Sup. Covell. The committe on roads and bridges made the following reports, which were adopted, to-wit: Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen of the Board of h-j per visors: Your committee to whom was referred, at the September meeting of this board, the petition of the commissioners of highways for aid in building a bridge across Piskasaw creek, in the town of Chemung, and which was laid over until this meeting, would rec­ ommend that no action be taken, said petition having been withdrawn. Your committee to whom was referred the petition of the Lake Geneva, Syca­ more and Southern Electric Railway Co. for franchise to construct and operate a railway upon and along the highways through the townships of Riiey, Marengo Coral, Seneca, Dorr, Greenwood, Hart- land and Hebron, McHenry county, beg leave to submit the following report on the matters before them: That we rec­ ommend further time be given, as the petition pearns to be faulty and un­ satisfactory. All of which is respectfully submitted. C. F. Dike, Chm. 8. E. Clark, ' N. Brotzman, John Wkltxien, J. H. Gracy. {Concluded Nest Week ) -- A CT1VE SOLICITORS W A NTE XX everywhere for "The Story of th Philippines" by Murat Halstead, com missioned hy the Government as Offleia' Historian to the War Department. The book was written in army camps at San Francisco, on the Pacific with General Merritt, in the hospitals at Honolulu, in Hong Kong, iu the American treaches at Manila, in the insurgent camps with Agulnaldo, on the deck of the Olimpia with Dewey, and in the roar of battle at the fall of Manila. Bonanza for agents. Brimful of original pictnree taken by government photographers on the spot. Large book. Low prices. Big profits. Freight paid. Credit given. Drop all trashy unofficial war books. Outfit "You can't most always swear to Am stories you hear," remarked the Phila­ delphia drummer to the Washington Star man, "and I am not swearing to the one I heard the other day on Gen. Joe Wheeler in Alabama, but ft Is just as good as if I did swear to It, so what's the difference? It seems that once the general, who you all know to only a boy's size and not a big boy at that, had, in the course of his travels on one of his electioneering f>arB, brought up at a remote sohoolhotisev •where, of course, he was called upon to make a few remarks to pe scholars. "This he did In his best style and when he had flnfshied he stood by the teacher when that worthy said a few things, among them that time-worn suggestion to the effect that when the boys of the school grew up they, too, might be congressmen, like Gen. W heeler; such are the wonderful poe- sibilties of this great snd glorious country of ours. "At this point a long, good-natured, gangling gawk of a boy, about 14 years old and about 14 feet tall, stuck np his hand, grinn'ag sheepishly tinr meanwhile. "'Me, too? he inquired.. " 'Certainly, Henry, replied tha teacher assuringly, 'Just as much you as any other boy. 'I reckon I'll have to ungrow ef I ever run on that ther ticket,' nodding toward the general in a way that brought down the houses amidst the embarrassment of tin teacher and the great delight ot the general." .. AN ADMIRER OF WOMBN. •at HU Every Time. I was riding along the road leading across Hurricane Gap, in the Pine mountain range, thinking of the pecu­ liar people who lived in these fast­ nesses, when I was startled by a voice up the hillside calling to me to come up and give somebody a lift I had no idea who owned the voice, but who- . ever it was was In trouble, and I re­ sponded and found • man of 60 or more caught by the foot under a fallen tree and unable to get away. He wasn't hurt, and I soon had him on his feet, and he insisted on my stopping further down the mountain and taking dinner with him. He lived in a well- kept cabin with his daughter, snd after dinner we sat in the shade of a tree in th. yard and he told me about himself. "Air you married?' he asked, after he told me he was a widower. "No, but 1 hope to T\e some day." I answered, quite sincerely. "You ought to be; every man ought to be; a man that ain't showing a right feel in' to'rds what the Lord's done fer him, thar ain't nothin' on the face uv God's green earth that is a patchin' to a woman. I don't keer what kind she is." "You're hale and hearty yet," I said, "and I don't see why you don't take some of your own advice." "Don't crowd the mourners, mister,* he said, waving his hand as if warding off my attack. "Don't you crowd the mourners. "I'm figgerin' on sever! this very minute, and I ain't quite shore yit which one to pick. I've been mar­ ried fo imes, and every time my notions i women has got so much higher th I'll be derned ef I don't kinder look forred to loein' a wife jist fer the satisfaction uv glttin* another one." The idea was so entirely new that I was overcome by it.--Washingfe 1 Star. /. .! "Talking of good hesring, I've got keen ears. I can bear your watch ttaiv ing, for instance, from here." "Marvelous! It isn't going."--Jadtl* A Small Lom. Miss Cutting--"Did you witness th* football game last week, Mr. Soft* leigh?" . Softleigh--"Yaws; and the excita* ment was so gwate for a time that 1 aw--actually lost me head, doadMF know." • Miss Cutting--"Beally!But I'm at * loss to understand how yon to miss it." At the Concert. "I wonder why they- have two nos on the stage?" "So that if the celebrated virtuoso ~8hould smash one all to pieces in play- ing that fantasie at which he is said to be so fine he will have the other ta fall back on without stopping the tormaaefe" Address, F. T. Barber. Sec'y, Star Insnr- aaos Bldg* OUoaQik * 17-te "Say, Weary, here's a fetfeiK" says in de paper dat de average of 50 years has worked t>.500 days mmf drank' 7,000 gallons ef fluid." "Well, Soapy, den's exception both items." ; S i V.: ; wv Kxplained at T--t. Suitor--"Your daughter, sir* light of my existence." Her Father--"Oh, that's it, eh? Pft often wondered how yon •se her wttk the gas * 1 vJ m