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THE VEXED QUESTION llOftE TROUBLE OVER THE BEGINNING OF THE TWENTIETH CENTURY, ft-*. ^ Wfctck Miff lit Have Been AvoWffl :i;'V Had. tl»« Gpntlrman Wh* Wanted ^ Infarmttloii Been Given a Chance to Complete Hta Sentence. The man with a face like ail inter*©* '* fation point bit off a large hunk of /' mince pie (cold), washed it down with ^ gulp of cold milk and turned to the $uan standing alongside of him In the * lunchroom. >'*; " "Say, my friend." he inquired, "do ' > you know when the twent"-- i "No, you don't, stranger," said the !| man addressed. "Not this time. I'm In here to partake of a modest iunch- / «on consisting of buttermilk and choc- / elate eclairs, and uo man's going to get Bie on that subject while I'm eating ; down town. I've got to stand it at my boarding house table--there's nothing else at that table--but I can't be drawn ^:|$nto the argument down town. What's more, 1 don't care a darn when it be* < §lns." . " The man with a face like a question yiaark looked puzzled, but he wasn't easily squelched. "I don't Think you understand what was going to ask you." said he, wanted to know if the twent"-- • But the man with the buttermilk and > ' the chocolate eclair moved off. The 7 man with the question pulled down a v /large piece of hot gingerbread from the counter, grabbed a cup of coffee ; and tackled another man alongside of kirn. "Excuse me." he began, "but I want H- Inquire when you think the twent"-- The man addressed smilingly inter- Siipted. "Nix, «id man; not today," he said amiably. "Too much brain fag about |t. I'd be glad to accommodate you by going out and fighting a dog for you or s / flawing a couple of cords of wood for you or any little chore like that, but • , nay, nay, when ii copies to that ques- < tlon. I've passed that problem along to my two boys In school anyhow. They've got lots of time and enthusi- - Asm, and it'll expand their, minds--that ^ - jte, if it doesn't land them in a lunatic asylum. The question doesn't make much difference to me anyhow. I'll \ live just as long anyhow, won't I?" , "But," expostulated the man with ; . fhe questioning eye, "what I was go- tag"-- ̂ The man he was addressing looked At his watch hurriedly and ran to pay Af , his check, however, and the man with & the interrogatory physiognomy had no recourse but to turn to another •ntt* ^ near by. , fA •, "Look here; tny dear sir,'* he started, ^;-U; *1 want to ask you when the twent"-- "I don't know, and, what's more, I tfon't care," was the testy reply. "I've got something else to do with my time ^7. than to fritter it away on such idiotic \. calculations as that." ^ j , "You are in error," was the Inter- rogatory man's hasty Interruption, "»ui to what I was"-- , % , Again he found that he was address- ing no one in particular, for the testy man had moved away. < || "I wonder what alls all these people J\,.. ground here?" mused the man with I;/-- ifhe inquisitive countenance. "When I H-|try to ask them a simple question, they i,f t either get"-- •{ Just then he caught sight of a friend j coming away from the counter with a & l tt)ig slab of pie and a cup of coffee. He *lbowed through the crowd and cor- | •, railed his friend. i' "Ha, old man, you're just the one I'm ^ ^ looking for," he said joyfully. "I want-, ft},. ed to ask you when the twent"-- His friend's face lengthened imme- p> - diately. "Look here, Jor kins," he said expos- ^ tulatingly, "that's a great fault of || yours, picking up those confounded |T1 fads and asking questions about them. 8?v 1 How the dickens, now, should I, a man If-" that sells hardware for a livelihood, ^ know when the twentieth century be- SSW- gins? And what the deuce is the dlf- ference to me so long as I get three '» square meals"-- ; "Just wait a minute," interrupted the jlpg/ man with the inquiring mug. "I wasn't P§; * attempting to ask you anything about j#".* the beginning of the twentieth century. I don't care a hurrah about that ques­ tion one way or the other. What I wanted to ask you is when was the 20 cent piece Withdrawn from circula tlon? I've got a bet on the date with ft friend."--Washington 8tar. JINGLES. •/;,*. f tOUa jrou 'bout my Uncle 'Twts beveral years ago~~ •-";s how .vou'd ought to go to Mia Fur things you didn't know. Bat you was obstinate an at if; " You snubbed him once or twice. Jle would have saved you trouble CI; You'd a$ked fur his advice. -Be sought with several warnis (,1a To catch the public eye, |fr>eseribi.n all our human needs* 'St An signed Vox Popult, j|Be showed 'em what they had to They didn't seem dismayedkr^ |̂Tbe public simply went ahespfe'. ! An calmly disobeyed. • , told him that he orter fit (< •1 llisself a shiny hat *1' ' An start to feedin up a bit* \ -A,' To look more sleek an fat, -/But he kep\ %gcrin away • r An study in a lot, i i4u when he'd said his little They smiled an then lorg^tl 4 ' '"'Vjpo Uncle Jim, he ain't to bl ' Fur all these doin's now-- 1 |5outli Africa with skies aflan*, » •; • This Filipino row. . .. ..I'm very much inclined to say, ' ? ' When signs of peace grow dim, *1r -'JFuUcs wouldn't be so skeered 11 they Bad minded Uncle Jim. --Wa?hlnffton Star. «e Us«r». firotu the Press, ofi the 19th. fx** w The Merry Time of Frost and Ss««i She says she likes the winter time, She "loves the frost and snow;" -V " SBhe says she likes the cutting blast* -- j That round the corners blow. ., !/ _*'How gay." she says, "to glide on 1^:' ̂ How grand to speed away ; yVl|Across the whitened buidscapi ta :|C The swinging, swaying sleigk."' i *' *" A K |ph, yes, she likes the winte* tfpillb With all its ills and chills. fl ' :%ith all Its balky furnaces ;•"* . • % ^ And heavy heating bills! * X'. i'But while 1 shiver here and Upon my fingers she y spend her winters in the south. From Icy terrors free. --Chicago Times-HeraUI. Gives you the gay ha-ha, Iton't think life is soured completely^ f Take a look at her mat' •tfi This old world has women a-plenty. Time will change young love to a tqjr. woman is sweet at twenty. (Your ma was twenty herself, my Daughter, when he you loved as a lover "f ?'? "4 Gives you the cold ta-ta, "jDon't conclude that joy is over; ' Go and gaze at his pa! f This old world has tricks that are dUHQf.^ 7 ' Time will flat it, never you (ear. ®very man is a god at thirty. • (I was thirty myself, my dew-!) ^ * --New York ^C*re€. : . pfv" An Inslnoatlra, Husband--That tramp I met at tbi fate told me he weighed 250 pounds. Wife--What a story teller! Why, he told me when I fed him that he only weighed 100. Husband--Yes, my dear, but that was before he had eaten those biscutts of yours.--Detroit Free Press. i, liooking Forward.' JBmi, when the woman you love K> % Gi JPale, sick, 1 walked the ocean atrartlj. ,fr; good, atout cane was in my hand; < '• : .With weakness I could scarcely stand*' • j."11 And face the salt sea spray. Then feebly to the ground 1 stooped^' * £ $A handful of the sand 1 scooped; . I - 1 swallowed it, and then 1 whooped " C i And threw my cane away. IfB ' --Chicago Triboat, Oflntereatto We Quote the Indianapolis, Ind of Jan. ' A peculiar state of affairs in Frank­ fort, which ifi of interest to every City ill which the telephoB* question has be­ come an issue. Frankfort is experien­ cing the beneficent influences of a mo­ nopoly, and a home or Anti-Bell Com­ pany is being organized. Until a few years ago, when a home company was organized, the Bell had an absolute monopoly and charged $24.00 a year for residence and $48.00 for business service. The Home Company cnt the rates, the Bell came to 40 and 80 cents a month, and these rates prevailed until the Bell secured the bulk of the stock and ab- 8)rbed the Independent Company by purchase. Having again secured a mo­ nopoly, the Bell put its rates to $3.00 and $8.50 per month, and steps were Im­ mediately taken to put in another rival exchange. Under stress of circum­ stances, and finding the New Telephone Company of Indianapolis at the Frank­ fort City Limits with its long distance lines, and ready to co-operate with the citizens, the Bell changed its schedule and has installed a rate of $1.00 for residence and $2.25 for business pur­ poses The Independent Company has secured $8000.00 of the necessary $15000. subscr iptions, and it is stated the re­ mainder will be secured at once and the rival exchange will be established. It is stated that the Council , will grant the new company a franchise.". Marcellus L. Joslyn, Esq.,; , Citizens' Telephone Oo., Woodstock, 111. Dear Sir:--Referring to our recent conversation about the telephone rates in Eau Claire and Chippewa Falls, Wis­ consin. I may state that I have re­ ceived a letter from our correspondent in Minneapolis in which he says: "I have looked the matter up and am informed, by reliable parties there, that miee have been increased from $*7.00 fc* I send you this quotation from our correspondent's letter for your infor­ mation and trust that it will be of use to you. tWy,truly yomfB, W. E. KEILY. , -fL'"". Managing l&itor, Western M^tncian. Some of the readers of this paper will remember a denial of the changing of rates by the Bell Company in Chippewa Falls, made through the medium of this paper by Mr. Holbrook, of the Chicago Bell Telephone Compaafy. To such as do remember it we beg to submit the following letter in answer to an inquiry. Here is also another interesting letter taken from the Morrison Sentinel, of Whiteside County, SI., one -of our ear- changes. "Our holiday trade was fine; we sold more goods Saturday than we did for the whole week last year. I see by The Sentinel that the Whiteside Harrison Telephone Company is still on top and occasionally gives a black eye to the the Bell. That's good and I am glad to see.it. I wish there was an independent company here. We pay $8.50 per menth for the Bell and don't get half the ser­ vice that the subscribers to the Harrison get. We got our first snow this morn­ ing and it is quite cold--thermometer about twenty degrees above zero. We celebrate lihe 4th of July and Christmas here to-day--everyone shoots fire-crack­ ers and roman candles during the holi­ days. " •; ; •- ' Made Young Again. "One of Dr. King's New Life Pills each night for two weeks has put me in my 'teens' again" writes D. H. Turner of Dempseytown, Pa. They're the best in the world for Liver, Stomach and Bowels. Purely vegetable. Never gripe. Only 35c at Julia A. Story's drugstore. fcY TREE IN SOUTH . Al Th«ra*>t t!ie Soil !• le, th» lift•jr' Although rich iti such flowers as the arum lily amaryllis, ix^| and other choice bulbuous plants, an|P| also in fruits like the peach Mid tang­ erine, South Africa is woefully lacking in trees of a size sufficient to make a re­ spectable wood or plantation. The only variety which appears to thrive in any quantity is the blue gum (Eucalyptus globulus), which is found in large numbers, so much so that many people are under the impression that it is a native of the place. ' « ~ This, however, is a mistake, as the real home of the eucalypti was originally Australia, where, at the present time, many of the species frequently attain a height of over 800 feet. It rarely reaches this altitude in South Africa, however, although it soon establishes itself, and then grows at a tremendous rate, rapidly forming a fine, handsome tree, with thick, glacuous foliage. In the form of avenues it is a promi­ nent feature in many towns. The chief street of the town of Worcester, Cape Colony, has two fine rows of the trees. Eucalyptus globulus is cultivated to some extent in the malarious districts of Italy and in other countries border­ ing the Mediterranean sea. In this count% it is sometimes raised from im­ ported seed and used for bedding in a subtropical garden or grouping on a lawn, but it does not stand our climate very well, and, of course, never reaches to any great height. It is the variety that yields the eucalyptus oil, the anti­ septic so much recommended as a cure for influenza. Moreover, its leaves, rolled into the form of cigars and smoked, are said to be a cure for asthma. In South Africa it is the principal and practically the only timber tree. Mclienrj are ci t«*. per lb airy, per . . hel. 1 lb lb .i> , Live, per lb lb.. per lb. Tt Hay, _ r bushel. |ier bushel. % per bushel..;... r pushe! .v.j •t. per bus hoi... tou C. A N. W. *. R. Tills TABLE. HBNItY ̂ U.jL. j, :.,:,;....; uoday. tSvudaaf . *1 • W WiSCOtilillt ^ «rvv;:- -• ' • v- *<Joisa NO»r#: •WfHlaran lli^'ftssengcar;, * '• «• Freight....' m * " " I'sisserigê ;....... is +L»keGeneva Piwsenser * " . - «:Sl GOING SODTH. * $Lake J*asseng«»r.... .. jj® a. Express.. .8:35 a. m.--w' * '• «• Passenifer ^:18p. M. --U * " " Freight. ,.8:40 P.M.--« JDally. *r>ally except Buoda] only, o Galena Division. viston. •. ' MOMBNUY-. POST oi«|SV©i.' ;, > v; Mails arreiv and depart from Mcltenrjk j^§> foUows: : DBSPAfM'. Mail Closes. Jtoave Depot, South 7:00 A. m... ..7:32 A. if. South 8:00 a. A. H. South 3:00P. *. North 8:30 P. M '. .. .«:51 p. M. ... WAffcS RECKXVSD. North...7:02 a. m South....... 10:00 a. m. North... .... p. M Soutb 4:dS P. 1 South .......8:;i0 P. M J O H N S U n U G M A J • * ' Leaves McHeory ... .10:30 A. if. Arri ves at Johnsburg....... . 11:30 A? m Leaves Johnsburg,........ v..........18:30 p. it./ Arrives at Mellenry...,.............. 1:30 p. .if. Rolus Waitk. P. M. WKST MoMBNUV OOST OFFICK. T Mails close ten minutes before trains, and arrive at the McHenry mails. Simon 2« f\p o a s t o r : i i M K i M i i t f t Bears the Bignatur* 69(^A m •- Its Lesai A«i Jleceaslty knows no law,' „ S But her rulings no man can bttdgVf, '•<' .Decisions are often raw " When Necessity acta aa judge. •- But, however aggrieved you feel, • 1 if*' Just pay up your costs and tradftif - : - v . You bet there is no appeal # When Necessity acts as judge. ? •--Chicagro RmotC Loageit Wttrd. • :•& Wife--Here's the longest word in the' language. There's 20 syllables in It. Husband--Just the same, it isn't. The longest word la the comparative degree of long. Wife--How do you make that out? Husband--Easy enough. 1 don't care how long your word Is, that is longer.-- Detroit Free Press. Generoaa Man. Mrs. Youngwed--You know Uncle PIncher said he was going to send us something that would help us save our coal bills this year? Well, it came. Mr. Youngwed--Beally? A stock of coal? Mrs. Youngwed--No. A little ar­ rangement for filing bills.--Philadel­ phia Press. Foiled Agala. fi "Your money or your llfel? "Ha, ha! Good joke! 1st!"---New York Journal. Accept no substitute! Insist on LION COFPEB^Inl lb. pkgs; These articles mailed FREE in exchange for lion heads cut from front of i lb. IMN CQ&FMB pkgs. Silk Umbrella (either Lady's or Gents). Sent by «pnu (chargM Bra» paid), for 170 Hon Mads aai a 2-crat Btrnimp. A very fine umbrella, made of uslon pilk-tafleta; aWnfih frame with seven ribs; steel rod and silver Congo handle. Would coat S2.00 at the (tore. LION COFFEE and you will never use any other. It is absolutely pure Coffee and nobbing font Coffee. , Gold Ring. k: •taaip. Genuine Ruby Scttlai Gold RlJifl. Por 25 lion «heads and a 2-cent stamp. ,s Th«ae rings are genuine lolled-gold i<late, having the exact, appearance and qualities of solid gold, and guaranteed by the makers to last two year* with ordinary usage. New patterns aud very jtopulur. It#' Dress-Pin Set. nailed Itm for IS Hen hands and a 2- cent staasp. Thiee pins in the set (larger than shown), com­ posed of fine rolled- gold, with handsome ruby-colored set­ tings. Suitable for waist-pins, cuff-pins, neck-pins or as a child's set JSash-Belt and Budkle. v • Common Form of Crneltr. • . •'Yes, he claimed his wife pinched him severely whenever she asked him for money." ^ , j "Well, he needn't flatter himself that - he is the only man who has been pinch- '--Cleveland Plain, Deal- \ . ed for money. Oltilisatlon In Afrfaa. Ignorant, Indeed. "Do you know anything about t recent .financial crash?" asked" t , friend. ' "No," answered the cold bloodedlj truthful man. "I don't even knowi '* enough about it to moralise on It."-- Washin|tton Star. Mention yoar waist.mcaaure when sending. Milled froo for IS Me# heads cat from Lion Coffee wrappers and a 2-coot stamp. _ JJiillJIJiJJJ nTBHWTH,WHIITYIUIDFUVORl fils^raiM AM SIM. Cut a stri{> of thick paper so that the ends vQI exactly meet wheu drawn tightly around second joint of the linger. Lay one end on this diagi»0l at the 0, aud order the number the other "end Indicates. <*Knickerbocker" Watch. Given for 17& Ilea heads and a 2-con* •tamp. Neat appear** ing and an excellent t i m e - k e e p e r . S o l i d nickel-silver case, with ornamental back. N i c k e l m o v e m e n t s , e s c a p e m e n t f u l l y Jeweled. The famous "Knickerbocker" watch. Pair of Lace Handkerchiefs. Latest style of imported black Swiss gros- ribbon belting; stylish imitation oxidized silver buckle; neat, strong and grain oxidii fashionable. Silver Napkin-Ring. 'you : lis Retort. '!>«•> **8fr," she said when he cbmpt of the incessant piano playing. have no ear for music." "That may be true, madam," he re­ plied. "I will have to hear some In or* to find out."--Chicago Post* For 15 lion heads and a 2-c*nt stamp. Neat and substantial. Made of dur­ able metal, heavily silver- plated. Two different patterns. K® rf;« / . "Did you have a missionary of the "i' name of Gotthold Pech stopping at your hotel about three weeks ago?" "Wait one moment; I'll look up the ' - gld menu Floii, Mrs. Her Own Fa alt, '-'Ctd Dibbs--Mme. Chic, I pay yon more than Mrs. Hibbs. and yet you put more style into her frocks. Mme, Chic--Well. Mrs. Dibbs. thafe what you get for being so easy to please.-Indianapolis Journal. IfJiif Ftnnnce. "Everybody ought to oppose time' get rich quick schemes." "I don't know about that, ^d like to make a fortune while I'm alive to en* Joy It."--Chicago Record. ^ t t f» Be Bsfeeted, % When "Ms dear Anna said His bride, he felt plated; lt Ho couldn't help it. for, you sae«, ^" v 0« then was Anna-mated. 7 * --Elliott's M»isi1s% Coin-Purse. For 15 Mm liends and ka 2-c«nt stms4>. Color, dark brown. Made of fine kid leather; cham­ o i s l i n i n g ; n i c k e l e d frame, with strong snap- fastening. Ladles9 Pen»Knife. .Bk 19 Hon beads sat fn*nu\ . LlOn Coffee wrapper* and a stamp. Large size; good rated . stamp. Large terial; handles nicely and assorted colors. Ladies' Watch Chain. A double strand of best silk cord, united at intervals with colored beads; neat and substantial. Por 15 lion heads and a 2*cont stamp. •Oent'l Watc^-.^ flailed free for 90 ilsr. !»sds rnni » 2-cent stamp. The celebrated •' inger- soll" watch ; stem- wound and stem- set ; durable nickel- pluted case: each watch accompan­ ied by guarantee of the maker. A re­ liable time-keeper. Ladies' Pocket-Book. Large size and latest shape. Black seal-grain leather, with five separate divisions,iQCtuding a tuck-pocket with flap to hold visiting cards secure. (Hvtn for 25 Hon heads from Lion Coffee wrappers and a 2c. stamp. Table Cover. Durable, dark- colored material that will stand washing. 82 inches square, hinged border. MalM •ads and a 2c. stamp. Two extra fine cambric hand­ kerchiefs, with b e a u t i f u l i m ­ ported lace me­ d a l l i o n i n s e r - tions in the cor­ ners. Half-inch hem, machine h e in s t i tehed; stylish and dur­ able. A pair of these handker­ chiefs given for 18 Hon head* cut from Lion CMoe wrappers and a 2c. etaimp* Children's Picture Book. Given for 10 Hon beads and a 2-cent stamp. Sixteen large pages of Mo- ihtri Gouge Melodies illustrated and with nicely lithographed c o v e r . W e h a v e different books, so you can get an as­ sortment. Art Picture, "Easter Greeting" Given for 9 lion heads cnt from Lion Cof­ fee wrapper* and a 2-cent stamp. A highly artistic picture, that will grace the finest draw­ ing-room. The background of royal dark-blue furnishes a n a p p r o p r i a t e contrast to the little girl and her white East­ er lilies. Size, 14x28 inches. For 10 lion liends aixl a cents we Will SSiui it tinned icauj ior hanging. Flower Picture. a®' h|i Century Cook»Book. 368 pages of vain- ] able cooking re-| oeipts, also treatise on the labor of the I k i t c h e n , d i n i n g * ] r o o m , l a u n d r y , s i c f c - j room, and remedies] for the more com-] mon diseases. Glvon for 15 iiap I heads and a 2-c«nt| Por 8 lion heads and a 2c. stamp. American Beauty Roses and Lilies-of- the-Valley. Size, 11x24 inches. Bright •and artistic coloring. ** The Dancing Lesson.1 including fancy Iran loir 25 Hen k Pocket-Knife. The "Ensr- k Opener": I strong, sharp ' blade; red-wood handle. Per 12 lien heads and a 2c. stamp. " :<$ The green grass and trees, the little brown kitten and the girl's snow-white dress iorm a pleasing combination of col­ ors. size. r> x 21 inches flailed free for 8 Hon heads and a 2-cent stamp. THE ABOVE ARB ONLY A FBW OP THE LION COPFEE PREMIUMS. Another VM. will shortly appear In this paper 1 Don't miss It! The grandest list of premiums ever wfsladI You always know LION COFFEE by the wrapper. It is a sealed pack­ age, with the lion's head In front. It is absolutely pure if the package is unbroken. LION COPPEE Is roasted the day it leaves the factory. * % >•% >V IMPORTANT NOTWE. Whes writing for premiums send yo«r. letter In the same envelope or package with tM Hon heads. If more than 15 tlon heads are sent, yon can save postage by trimming down the margin. Ask your grocer for lanm illustrated premium list. Address alt letters to the WOOLSOM SPIOE OO., Toledo. Ohio.