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1 *Geo. Meyers- ' . i,t *. =*•'>/ T^ -#ir^ 4" t * fx * t *y. „ /fir * re f • - GENERAl|SJ f • TEAM1NQ| ' of all kinds. Extkvatihg A Grading. , *> -• *v. • JilcHenrj^ •s*:. Illinois '•:P •^Bidhsi SECRETS OF SUCCESS. 3D ADVICE to bnainess boys by nearly 100 of the moat successful business men. ConfaiuB many helpftel j itemo from these business | men's own experience. An invaluable aid to every boy whether in school or em­ ployed In an office. A dainty volume of about 50 pages, bound in cream pebble grain, stamped in green and silver and sent postpaid for only $0.25. Every boy should read wis book. Send for our special illustrated book cata­ logue of books for young and old, FREE. Address all ord­ ers to THE WERNER COMPANY, jjbIMh«ra and Manufacturer*. AkfOB, OMO. j (The Werner Comoany is thoroughly reliable.]--Editor. Buy to Beat Hotels. , "Hotel men give out tbat they warn each other bj circulars about dead- beats," Baid the slick looking man with the high hat, "but don't you let that stop you if you want to live high for a gweek. Few men like to publish the fact that they have been done up. It's the easiest thing in the world to beat a first class hotel. All you want is a good suit of clothes and plenty of cheek. A grip with a few shirts and collars Is as good as a trunk. "You drive up In style; you register to get the best room In the house; you bulldoze the clerks and threaten the servants. A checkbook is a good thing to show, but you pay for nothing. You talk in a loud voice, you make plenty of kicks, and you order the best wines for dinner. Lands, but the whole staff of the house will fall over each other to make it pleasant for you! You don't pay the first week's bill* On the con­ trary, you are Indignant and demand an apology. When the second week is due, your drafts have not come. "You will be worked out of the house, but with gentleness and apologies. They don't want a row, and they don't want notoriety. You'll be forgiven if you'll only go, and If you take up your quarters for the next two weeks right across the street no one from the hotel will give you away. When a man beats us, we like to see him beat our neigh­ bor, you know. It's nice and genteel work, with no kicks or hard times, and there is always room for one more in the profession."--Detroit - Journal. COMPLETE NOVEL IN EACH NUMBER LIPPINGOTTS I nONTHLYJAAGAZINE Subscribers may begin with any month the CHEAPEST AND Best Family Magazine Published A LIBRARY OF 1S COMPLETE NOVELS YEARLY Besides Poetry and many Stories of Daily Life, Travel, Anecdote, Humor, etc. REDUCED PRICE, $2 50 PER YEAR - SINGLE COPY, 28 CENTS J, ft, LIPPINCOTT COMPANY, Publishers PHII>A DKI.PHIA, PA. A FREE PATTER lier own sulrctioa)to every subscriber. Beautiful col Hl iI It.lirrrapliert plale* and illnsti ntlons OiU-lnat. artistic, exquisite and strictly up-to-date dcMgaa! M£CAUV« MAGAZINE |>f(>«5siTiak!rnr economies, fancy work, household hint*, •Sort fit >riei>. current topic*, etc Subscribe to day. Only uOo. y early. Lady ageou wanted. Bend lor term*. for ladies, misses, girls and little children. That cei» tali) stvlUn " cbic " effect not attained by the iw of any Other putter ns Have no equal (or style and pert eat tit. MSCAU.1% pATraiNSW Eft-iilv put toprether Only 10 and 16 cents encli --r."i:« Mcrhi'i- So!:! in nearly pverv city a"d ton-n t.i by nntil Atk iur tlicm. Absolutely very latest up to-dite style. THE McCALL COMPANY, MMM W#»t 14th Wrwt. .... It» Terk Cttr, *• A GREAT NEWSPAPER. It has always been claimnd for The ChlcSfO Tribune that it would, in all probability, pass with the highest average in any competitive examination among tho newspapers of the United States for excellence in all departments of journalism. •• Under date of May 2, 1898, the Omaha World-Herald, editorially an- •• uwering a letter from • Inquirer " asking the names of the Ave best " newspapers In this country, points " out that a newspaper may excel In " one way an<l be inferior in another. " The World-Herald gives lists under *' fl\e peneral headings of leading " American newspapers distinguished " especially for excellence, mentioning " in all some twenty. THE FOLLOWING ARE THE HEADINGS: " (l) (2) "8 Most a nd best news, foreign and domestic, presented attractively. Beet possible presentation of news briefly. Typographical appearance. Cl&semiciUioh of newB by de­ partments. " (8) Editorials. _ "The ('hlengo Tribune Is the " only newspaper In the United Statea •NWhich the world-Herald considers --"-worthy of mention under four differ- " ent heads."--From the October Plain Talk. Practically all high-class intelligent newspaper readers, comprising the best mid middle classes in Chicago and vicin­ ity, read The Chicago Tribune. A great majority of them read no other morning newspaper. The Chicago Tribune prints more advertising year in and year oat than any newspaper in the West. A Great Advertising Medium. Carried Her Point and Pet. It Is said by a cynic of the mascu­ line gender that a man never yields when he knows he Is In the right nor a woman when she is equally certain she is In the wrong. In %n Amster­ dam avenue car the other day, while the conductor was forward collecting fares, a woman, followed by a large English bulldog, entered and seated herself. "Madam," said the conductor, "dogs are not allowed In these cars." "I am goiug to Fifty-seventh street. Here Is my fare," was the answer. "I cannot take It, madam. It is as much as my position is worth to let that dog ride In this car/' "Here is my fare/' "1 must enforce the rule. It would be better to get off quietly: otherwise I shall have to call an officer." "I've taken the dog in these cars be­ fore." ,, "Only dogs that can be carried are allowed to ride in these cars." "Come, darling, get in mother's lap." she said to the beast, and after consid­ erable effort she succeeded in drag­ ging "darling" upon her knees. She flashed a look of score at the con­ ductor and exclaimed. "Now. aren't you ashamed of yourself?"--New York Herald. A Question of Clocks. Which Is the best, a clock that Is right only once a year, or a clock that Is right twice every day? "The latter." you reply, "unquestionably." Very good, reader; now attend. I have two clocks; one doesn't go at all and the other loses a minute a day. which would you prefer? "The losing one," you answer, "without a doubt." Now observe. The one which loses t minute a day has to lose 12 hours, or "20 minutes, before it is right again; consequently It is only right once in two years, whereas the other Is evi­ dently right as often as the time It points to come round, which happens twice a day. So you've contradicted yourself once. "Ah. but," you say. "what's the use of Its being right twice a day, If I can't tell when the time comes?" Why, suppose the clock points to 8 o'clock, don't you see that the clock Is right at 8 o'clock? Consequently when 8 o'clock comes your clock is right. "Yes, I see that," you reply. Very good; then you've contradicted yourself twiceNNow get out of the dif­ ficulty as you can, and don't contradict yourself again if you cau help It."-- "Lewis Carroll Picture Book." feroer's Dictionary of synonyms A Antonyms, v Mythology and Familiar Phases. A book that should be i n the vest I pocket of every person, because it I tells you the right word to use. | Nq Two Words in the English Laltguage Have Exactly the Same Significance. To express [the precise meaning that one in­ tends to convey a dictionary of I Synonyms is needed to avoid repe- Itition. The strongest figure of 'speech is antithesis. In tnis dic­ tionary the appended Antonyms I will, therefore, be found extremely I valuable. Contains many other features such as Mythology, Familiar Allusions and For­ eign Phrases, Prof. Lolsette's Memory System. "The Art of Never Forgetting," ete.. •tc. This wonderful little book bound in a neat Cloth binding tjviit postpttiu ioi $0. . Fnli Leather, gilt edee. $0.40, postpaid. Order at Once Send for our large book catalogue, free. Address all orders to THE WERNER COMPANY, fttUaton md lfenofeetann, AXS0V, OOO. % How He Discovered Her. "Yes," said a noted detective. "I have seen a great many queer things in my experience." "Discovered a good many gigantic frauds. I suppose?" ventured an ad­ mirer. "Well, I should say so." was the re­ ply. "But, between you and me, the most complete piece of deceptiou I ever saw was a woman, young, pretty and, 1 would have sworn, an angel." "But she wasn't?" "I should say not. She has a temper like a whirlwind, and when she gets wild the very earth seenis To shake." "Good gracious! And how did you manage Ato discover her true charac­ ter?" \, "Well, I-\heml The fact Is, I mar­ ried her!" They Harry Vouag, The Boer youth weds extremely i young. His education Is over and he is j considered a man of business when he i is 16. His bride does not come to him portionless, but usually with a dowry consisting of cows, goats and sheep, a span of oxen and a quiet riding horse. To each child that is born a well to do Boer likes to assign certain farm stock as a "nest egg", for a future dowry or tti a start In life. Be Craved a Favor. "Say," called the victim from be­ neath the bed coverings. "Well?" asked one of the burglars, gruffly. "Would you fellows mind carrying off that ornamental watchdog of mine In the front yard along with the rest of your swag?"--Philadelphia North American.' Gautloua. "Do you think a prizefighter has a right to call himself a gentleman?" "Er--there isn't one within hearlngt If there Indianapolis Press. : W.C. T. U. PRESS DEPARTMENTS MRS. A. E. AURINGER, Editor. . I [The Plaindealer docs not hold itself respon­ sible for the opinions expressed in this col- umn.--Ed.] A CONCEIVABLE RETRIBUTION. In case of war with tl strong nation, or nations, whence would came the rank and file of our armies? Large numbers of human wrecks would enlist who are hanging about our cities and larger towns, the moral and physical qualities and value of whom are best known to thoughtful residents of those cities and towns. He Who walks around through the worst parts of such cities and towns, particular on Saturday evenings, is shocked by scenes in which the saloons, strong drink and the evilest extremes of the social evil are scalding and des­ troying elements. A city like Chicago has many thousands of wretched {men whom good citizens dare not meet half way between a pair of lamp-posts, after darkness has fallen. These many thousands vare supplanted by other thousands who are growing up--or growing down--to the same moral level. Still other thousands are youths, born of veritable hags--what a pity to so designate even the wrecks of woman­ hood!--who infest the city-quarters of which we have spoken. Wickedness abounds and has become such an open, popular pest that our mayor speaks of it as "necessary" or "unavoidable," and to be kept in designated parts of the city, corralled, impounded and sur­ rounded by the police and in a specified district. Thence it issues in daylight in search of food, or at night to force open honest doors and windows and enter to loot at its murderous pleasure. At ascertained dates it issues in order to invade voting-booths where its capacity forfalre registry and its potency to elect city officers explain the real reason why mayors and aldermen and treas­ urers of public funds hug the fruitful theory that evil-doers are a necessity ,and an unavoidable element in all American cities. The exchanges where­ in these moral values are ascertained are the saloons of civilization and whisky is the currency that furnishes the sinews of shocking war against society's best interests. When these human products enlist as' soldiers, just what is the degree of safe reliance which th« republic may place in an army thus recruited? Now multiply these thousands of these three contingents by all the cities and towns of more than fifteen thousand inhabi­ tants in the country, and then reassure your heart with all the confidence you can afford to place in your armies re­ cruited from such a seething mass of soiled, bruised, festering, pitiful human beings of this moral level. When your armies are massed in camps, complete the moral decadence^ of your forces through the ministry of army canteens which on the verge of war become five times worse, because soldiers are re­ moved away from the shadows of pure homes. When such armies are segre­ gated, their downward moral plunge is all the more wildly accelerated. If a sober, trained and expert foe drives your army before it like scared sheep, will not men who have indulged, "legalized with sin," consented to and practically begotten the liquor traffic during peace, repent of their sins while the conqueror gloats over his victory? Some of the dearest, most innocent, hopeful and brave of pure young men help to constitute our armies, but the average army contains thousands of men whose presence contaminates the purer element and menaces the republic. CIGARET WRECKS. Superintendent W. A. Vaughn, of the Georgia Central Railway, states that cigarets caused the wreck of a train on their road. In an interview regarding the wreck and the order issued, that no cigaret smokers would be employed on the road, he said: "I was impressed with the importance of a rule of this kind some time ago, when a collision occured on our road. The flagman who was to blame was one of the most careful men on the line. The accident was not a very Berious one, as no one was hurt, but he took the blame on himself and reported that he was asleep at t.hf* time when he should have been at the rear end of his train. I thought it very queer that a young man who had been so reliable as this fellow should go to sleep while on duty, but taking his word for it discharged him without further explanation. A few days afterward this young fellow happened in my office. I questioned him about the wreck and asked him how he could have gone to sleep. He rather evaded my question, but as I asked it I noticed his cigaret-stained fingers on the table. I then said to him, I'll tell you what was the matter; you're a cigaret fiend.' At this he jerked his hadd. under the taVle and looked confusejjf. 'Oh, you needn't hide your hand. Your face tells the story.' "Then he admitted that he was a con­ firmed cigaret smoker, and, while he reported that he was asleep at the time of the wreck, stiljl that was not the real cause. While on the way back to fiag the approaching train, he said, he felt sick aud stepped into the caboose to get a drink of water. He suddenly be­ came unconscious and sank ju> the floor. The roar of the approaching train brought him to his sense^, but, it was foo late to avoid the accid/ent. SIR REDV&RS. tM Sir Buller stood upon a kopje ttfr Ori round > • And gased at Ladysmith across the Veldt And wiped a tear from out his eye, and then ha heaved a sigh; Twould sure have caused an losmaa's heart.to melt. Around him stood his gallant staff with hyphenat­ ed names And medals on their chests full two feet deep, Who wore white dressed kid gloves upon their hands whene'er awake And undressed ones wltaoe'er thajr west to slscp. The buttons which they had would make a bellboy turn quite green; Pink weather strips were wound around their calves. And most of them wore single barreled glasses in their eyes « (They will insist on doing things by halves). Sir Red vers wiped a furtive tear from out ~ his' eagle eye. And longingly he gaxed at Ladysmith. Baid he: "Some time we'll eat our Sunday dinner in that-place; V" Believe me when I say that ain't no d|yth. "It seems quite strange that we who each have seven pairs ot pants And titles which we carry round in vans And sixty feet o( choice told braid around our manly chests, < And white kid gloves to wear upon our han's "Should have to duck around and dodge a lot ot rustic Boers Whosr.' whiskera look like hay of years ago. With only one suspender--not an eyeglass in the bunch; It surely is most horrid, dontcherknow. "We've often thought we'd eat our Sundsy dinner there before. But Oom Paul Kruger does not think it best. And surely 'twould be very impolite and *ery rude If we did not accede to his request. "Perhapi he'll realise Immt unkind Ida actions really are , And let us eat our Sunday dinner there. Until he docs we'll wander round and go and shoot the shoots; Wa'U aow return to camp and comb our hair." --Porter E. Brown in Boston Globe. A jWy With an Appetite. A Billville citizen who happened to get on a locked up Jury addressed the following note to the judge: "We, the Jury, beln hungry an locked up eight hours without eatin. which has been our regular habit sence we knowed ourselves, respectfully find ourselves guilty of wantin to eat an recommend that our sentence of Im­ prisonment be commuted to the liberty of 12 square meals, a-throwln of our­ selves on the mercy of the court fer them same, after which we hope to find the defendant guilty."--Atlanta Constitution. A Village Marvel. "Who? That man? Yes. I see him. What Is there peculiar about him?" "That man. sir, was offered the post- mastership of this town land refused It!" "To Independent to be willing to hold a government office?" "I don't know about that. The theory here Is that he Is a little bit cra*y."-- Chicago Tribune. vansoi/s Spring Selling You will need a new \ ¥^J|ttit for spring, perhaps % -j If you have time to look over our sample line it would afford us pleasure to show you a new line of swatchers just in from Hart, Schaffner & Marx and C. P. Kellogg Co., both noted for beat wear and superior fits. p Fine Shoes, Nobby Hats „ I : • v. • ' • - '-Mi.* llats, stiff or soft-Mbut you must see theifet' • n A Victim of Circumstance*. "You predicted a cold wave, sir,' said the citizen. "Yes, sir," replied the weather man. "Whereat the coal man raised the price of his wares, and I was forced to go a foot deeper Into my pocket. The cold wave didn't come, and^now I want to know who's going to Indemnify me."--Philadelphia North American. Too Much For Him. "The handwriting expert was floored that time." "How?" "A Woman's letter was produced in evidence, and he couldn't tell whether she wrote the first page first or the last page first."--Chicago Record. In Thoroagh Subjection. Mr. Meeker, who had gone to the front door to answer the postman's ring, put his head inside the door of the room where his wife was sitting. "It's a letter for me, my dear," he said. "Shall I open it?" Hypothetical. "No," she said, "I wouldn't marry you If your pockets were lined with gold." "In which event/* he replied, "I wouldn't be proposing."--Philadelphia North American. To Get Revengre. "I hate him!" she exclaimed. "I would do anything I could to make him miserable." "Then, why don't you marry him?" asked her dearest friend sweetly.--Chi­ cago Post. Self Evident. "I hear about the fool killer some­ times. Who Is he?" asked Cholly. "There Isn't any fool killer!" replied the other man savagely.--Chicago Trib­ une. He Did the Counting. "Then he isn't a real count?" "Bless you, no! They call him 'count' because he was once a referee at a prizefight."--Cleveland Plain Dealer. The Sequel. Ida--What does it mean when a man has a roguish smile? May--It means that be Is going to •teal a kiss.--Chicago New*. * Qinghains--5c to 2&c per yard 20 pounds large fat herring, $1.00. ffrade where you can save if you have a saving dispositidne-rwe need cash tradfe. West McHenry, 111. WALTER C. EVAN50N A Story We wish to remind the people of this vicinity that we constantly keep on hand a complete stock of the best brands of dried, smoked or salted fish, including White Fish, Mackerel, ^ Herring, etc. You will also find here a nice line of canned fish, * • :i-:A GILBERT, BROS. McHenry, Illinouf riUSICAL INSTRUriENTS Watch Repairing. The Latest In Sheet Music Instrumental and Vocal. N. A. HUEMANN West McHenry, Illinois. iiiiiiinmiiim»ininnnminim«ii»»MM^ P. N. CORSETS PERFECT FIT, STYLISH FIBURSf IONS TIME SERVICE. Every part of garment warranted the T>est that can be produced for the price. Steel boning flexible as whalebone, and the cork protected rust proof clasps will save you much annoyance. No extra charge for these unique features. RECOMMENDED AND GUARANTEED BY M. J. WALSH, W. McHenry DAILY EXCURSIONS TO CALIFORNIA Through first-class and Tourist Sleeping Cars to points in California and Oregoil every day in the year .....KRSfMir (OWHIGED EXCURSIONS-- Every Thursday LOWEST RTES SHORTEST TIME ON THE R&D- FINEST SCENERY Only route by which you can leave home any day in the week and travel ii*. tourist cars on fast trains all the way. For descriptive pamphlets and full in;* . ^ formation inquire of nearest agent. ' "A .. • '• i CHICAGO & DORTII WESTERN RAILWAY. "* •. it