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t' * "' .•» Fancy Grocers. V;, Ifell 'W0- Bp^Xhristmas Tbe McHenry Memer PUBLISHED EVEKY THURSDAY BY THE McHWRT PLAINDfALfR COMPANY. F. K. GUANO EH. \V. A. I'KISTY, .1. H. I'kkkw, . Sec. vr' •>. vT,reast. • ^ • 1/ttus. a MpfOM«Aa**, Udlltbr.- • Office In Bank Budding. Telephone, No. 272. TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: f>neyear.. Six months, 75 cts. Thfree months. ..ti.sr 40cts. Confectionery Fancy Chocolates Fittest made 1 and 2 pound Boxes 25c, 46c, 75c Fancy Bon Bons 1 and 2 pound boxes, 25c, 40c, 75c Thursday, December «3, 190*. I R YE CHRISTMAS FOLK EGARD the gen'rous Christmas pa Who to his loved ones says. "Ta ta!" And. with a pillow abdoinen And cotton baiting whiskers, then Essays the lighted candles--la.' I would not be the Christmas pa! Candy in Novelty Boxes, Big Assortment Fine Christmas Candies, Special, 3 pounds for 25 cents. e^pinotbe equaled in quality at that price igis-feJi u%~ New Nuts all crop of If lunar California I X L Almonds f* Large Filberts " " Braxll Nuts Polished Texas Pecans Soft Shell Calif. Walnuts I902 aoc plain nr mixed The anxious, footsore Christmas wife "Ne'er bothered so in all her life!" Her mind beset by "make" and "size,'* By dressing gowns, cigars anJ ties And with vague apprehension rife--' I'm glad I'm not the Christmas wlfel Hurrah, the bubbling Christmas boy. Who probes about with eager joy And pokes his nose in secret nooks And smells out skates and games and books! What cunning tricks he doth employ! I'd love to be the Christmas boy! Alas, the unhappy Christmas clerk. Whose holidays are work, work, work! For when a sale has been arrangtd The things come back to be "exc hanged." He must not swear, but smile and smirk; I'd hate to be the Christmas clerk. Behold the gallant Christmas youth Who lives on bread and cheese, forsooth. And pawns his watch to buy a pin v The £irl he co^efs thus to win (And rivals put to shame). In truth, I was myself the Christmas youth. Hall, witching, crafty Christmas maid Beneath the mistletoe arrayed. Who, by her mien and woman's wit. Makes every fellow think lie's. "It," Although he isn't! I'm afraid canr.ot be the Christmas maid! --Ed-n in I*. Sabin In Lippincott's Maga­ zine. BilioiiM Colic Pr«-\•MtN'd. Take a doable dose of Ci.aniberlain's Cholic. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy as poon as the first indication of the di­ sease appears «nd a threatened attack itay be warded off. Hnndreds of i*»oj>l« who are subject to attacks of bilioti!- olic use the remedy in this way wifl perfect success. For sale by all drug­ gists. , The Stlnvrleat Man. T think the most penuriovis nwn I ever knew." remarked the man in the mackintosh, "was old Ilt wi;- ns. He jHnok"d his cipars to the last h;"f inch. Chewed the stumps and used the ashes for snuff. But he wasn't satisfied even then and gave up the habit." 'What for?" asked the man with the big Au.ilil S 'He coulun't think of«nny way to utilize the smoke."--Chicago Tribune. ABOVE ALL SOUND NEW NUTS. It pays to buy the best. domes mat Feel Right ̂'o are made here. We do more than merely take your meas­ ure. We make the garments according to that measure, using much skill and know­ ledge in the cutting and tailoring, and we make to fit. Our ma<1e-to-order Suite are models of good style, good value. The display in colors and shades suitable for young and old, is very inter­ esting. JOHN D LODTZ. This Bank receives deposits, buys and sells Foreign and Do­ mestic Exchange, does a Hon It Happened. The Passerby--But I really don't see how the study of aerial navigation could have impaired your cyc6'£ht. The Mendicant--Mebbe you didn't never stand watchin' no balloons when they started droppin' sand out- Brooklyn Life. The Pride of Heroes. Many soldiers in the late war wVol- say that for Scratches. Bruits Chit- Wounds, Corns, Sore Fert. and Stif Joints. Bucklen's Ariiica Snlv*e is th '>est in the world. Same for Burn*. Scalds. Boils. Ulcers, Skin Eruptiot and Piles. It enres or no pay. Onl l.'k: at Julia A. Story'" drnK store. (EIIERJU. BANKING BUSINESS. We endeavor to do all busi­ ness entrusted to our care in a manner and upon terms entire­ ly satisfactory to onr custom­ ers and respectfully solicit the ic patronage Jloney to Loan MM on real estate and vpther first class se­ curity. Spec- fltoaaBBaMaa^MaaBaaaBMaaM ial attention given to collections. „ INSURANCE .'l fg- First ClasB Companies, at the Low ^ rata*. Tonrs Respectfully PERRY & OWEN, Notary Public. - Bankers • . .t .••. • The largest and best line of 1 ooks < ill descriptions at Jnlia A. Story'• ^fanv hnndred volnnif« from which t nake vonr selections. Fiction, romauc» •istory and every thin? PROFIT The matter of feed is cf tremendous importance to the farmer. Wrong feeding is loss. Right feeding is profit The up-to-date farmer knows what to feed his cows to get the most milk, his pigs to get the most pork, his hens to get the most eggs. Science. But how about the children ? Are they fed according tc science, a bone food if bone are soft and undeveloped, ; flesh and muscle foqd if the\ are thin ,and weak and a bloc food if there is anemia? Scott's Emulsion is a mixei food; the Cod Liver Oil in it makes flesh, blood and muscle the Lime and Soda make bon< and brain. It is the standan scientific food for delimit* :hildren. MOHENRY COUNTY- ABSTRACT COMPANY. OFFICE with McHenry County State Bank Wood tock, III. Abstracts of title and con- vvyanclnR. Money to loan on real estate la ee*sof<60e to mmm. tlsp* and fSjUBMit to Honest Abe. U.S.M. BsCets the United Stales lota Tnnkl* Over Poetry . • • I {Copyright, 1902, by R. A. Elliott.] HAVE known Farmer Joe White and his family for the last two years, and I have known that Arabella, the only daughter, has poetic aspirations. On several occa­ sions she has volunteered to read me choice selections from her pen, but I managed to dodge her until the other day. Then her father waited for me at the gate and said: "Look here. Abe. Are yon a friend of this family?" v "I surely am," I replied.. "Then 1 want you to spare time to come In nud hear my gal's last poem. It's about that volcano down in Mar­ tinique, and it's a hummer. She is go- in' to send it away to a New York magazine tnmorrer, and we want your opinion of it before It goes." "I don't believe I could spare time to­ day." 1 "Then you are not the man I took you to be." It was either to make the family mnd or to go in and listen to the poetry, arid so I went in. I found Arabella in a flutter^ She had spent four months writing aiftl revising what she called "The Wrath of Nature," and. being about to send it to a publisher at last, she felt very nervous. Her father took off his coat and sat down to hear the reading. The mother suspended the task of willing up the dinner dishes and washed her face with soft soap be­ fore she fell into the rocking chair and assumed a pose."5 "Abe, will you he honest in your criticisms?" asks Arabella as she makes ready. "I will," I says. "If it isn't up to Longfellow, will you say so?" "Of course." "Who was Longfellow?" bluntly asks Farmer Joe as he takes a big bite out of the side cf an apple. "It's bound to be equal to any poetry ever written by anybody," exclaims the mother as she rocks to and fro. "Let me tell you, Abe, that a piano man, a sewin' machine agent, a windmill man and an artist have listened to parts of this poem, and every one of 'em praised it to the skies. The artist said there was nothin' in Shakespeare to ap­ proach it." "And who's Shakespeare?" ' asks Farmer Joe as he takes his second bite. "He wrote verses." explains the wife. HE GBAUBBD UK AND FLUNG ME DOWN. "Ob. he did! Couldn't have written much, though, or I should have beard of him. Are you ready, Arabella?" Arubella is ready, and. standing up, with tbe manuscript in her left hand and her right reserved for gestures, she begins: "Mount Pelee gave a shudder, And Mount Pelee gave a groan, And o'er Caribbean waters There flew an awful moan." "By thuuder. but I can feel the shud­ der and UfHr the moan!" exclaims Farmer Joe as he pounds on the table with hi? fist. "Joseph, don't cuss." reproves the wife. "I believe I heard that moan up here that day, but 1 can say so without swearin'. Go on, Arabella." "Beneath that mountain's shadow Was a city full of glee. And not a soul was looking For that grim calamitee." "By thunder, I say!" shouts Farmer Joe as his fist bangs tbe table again. "What is It now?" asks his wife. 'That's poetry,- that Is. She runs right off the tongue like 'lasses across the floor. It don't wabble and hltcb around like a plow among the roots and stumps. It's the pure quill, and Abe knows It. Give us verse No, 3, Arabella." "On the green the children scampered. Sweet music played the band, And all saioons were open. With beer on every hand." "Better and better, by thunder!" calls Farmer Joe as be almost smashes tbe table. "Joseph, will you quit cussin' and sendin' your soul to perdition?" de­ mands his wife as she gives a great •tart and turns <MJ him. "But think of them innocent people, Martha!" "Yes, I'm thinkin'." "And qll the saloons open and beer to be bad everywhere." "That's nothin' to do with It Don't you cut up and get Abe rattled. 1 can soe that his whole soul is wrapped up in this thing, and we want to know bit' opinion. Arabella, if you ain't too nervous, go ahead with the next verso." "As swift as stroke of lightning And with warning not at all A burst of wrath of heaven Enveloped one and alL" "By thunder!" "Joseph Whiter* ^ £ "I can't help It, - - "You must help It.** "Abe." says Arabella as she sits down and puts her hand on her heart to still Its wild beatings "there's twenty-six more verses, bus you enn judge from what I have read. Is it a poem?" "It may be." I reply. "Is it poetry fjV'.V":" ' "It may be." v. "Does It come hp ti» liontfellowf' » "I--I wouldn't want to say It did." "Then you think it's a failure, aad I--I"-- Arabella fell back in her chair and began to sob, while her mother beld her apron to her face and rocked to and fro and moaned. "Abe, come outdoors," says Farmer Joe White in a husky voice. I went out witl> him, and we were hardly clear o£r the steps before he grabbed me and flung me down and rolled me over the grass and through the dead stalks of pieplant. I got away from him as be was trying to get a better hold, but as I reached my cart and drove off he stood at the gate and shook his fist at me and called: "By thunder, Abe, but the United States has got to git right down on Its knees and apologize for this!" And I looked back to see his wiffe weeping in the doorway and to realize that Arabella was lying on the floor within, a victim to my truthfulness and her own poetry. Such things must inevitably occur on the route of a coun­ try letter carrier, but they grieve and upset him and take away from the number of his friends. M. QUAD. I Blab Fiaaacc. "How much is in it, Jimmie?" "Well, I put in 4 cents two weeks ago and 2 cents yesterday, and then the interest '11 amount to somethin'."--- New York Evening Journal. It Was Donbttal. "Do you know whether there are any fish in the lake or net?" asked the summer guest of the landlord as he re­ turned after five hours of fishing with­ out a bite. "I wouldn't like to say," was the ply. "Did you ever catch one?" "No, sir." "Ever hear of one being caught?" "No. Last spring I drained the lake and refilled it and put in one fish, lie may have lived or he may have died. If living, you can catch him if you fish long enough. If dead, you might as well sit on the veranda and cuss about the beds and the table. That's all; rates $2.50 per day and scenery thrown in." Small Mercies, Flossie was six years old when phe began to study the piano. One day at the close of the lesson •M asked her teacher: "Have I played well today?" . Her teacher answered: - » "The exercises you played very alee* ly, but the scales not so well as last week." The child looked up into tbe teacher's face and very quickly and gravely said: "You must be thankful for small mer­ cies, mustn't you?"--Philadelphia Ledg­ er. Optional, of Course. "Sir," exclaimed the offended bride­ groom, "it is customary for the clergy­ man to kiss the bride!" "Well--er--I reckon you're right about 'that," replied tbe ecclesiastical accom­ plice, with another glance at the bride's face, "but I believe that is attached as a privilege and not--er--not IUI a, pen­ alty."--Baltimore News. Tbe Title. "How in the world did SI Slocum get the title of 'Hon.?'" asked the stran­ ger. "Waal," said the village philosopher, "we ain't 'xactly sure whether the 'Hon.'. means 'ornery' or not, but I guess it fits him."--Baltimore Herald. Fatherly Advice. "Mr. Gotrox," began the nervous young man, "I--er--that is, your daugh­ ter is the--er--apple of my eye, and"-- "That will do, young man." Inter­ rupted tbe granite hearted parent. "Here's $5 for you. Go consult an ocu­ list"--Ohlcago News. Hie Coaaolatlom. "Why do you let your wife belong to all those woman's rights clubs?" "I don't mind. She doesn't £ut In h(* time malting tidies that sticKiTl over the furniture and come off in the mid­ dle of your back."--Washington Times. The Greatest Thins of AIL That she has golden hair divine v To me Is no great shakes. But I bow down before the fine Plump waffles that she makes. Her classic features that I see My thirst for beauty slakes; Tet not so much are they to me As are the cakes she bakes. I love her eyes, whose limpid blue Rivals Norwegian lakes; Yet I forget them--so would you-- When browsing on her steaks. • Girls, if you're pretty, nothing You are but arrant fakes. A husband's love flies out the dostr Whene'er his stomach aches. --New York TiOMSL mmm Send for free . sample., P>e »ure t'ilt ,!>is picture if the furm of a label i» t.'i th- wrapper of iviry boitie ©I Emulsion you hu/. Scott &Bown^ CHEMISTS; , 409 Pearl St., N. Y. 50c. and $ii all drufgiSk I'll brave the storms of Chilkoot Pars, I'll croas the plains of frozen glat>s, I'll leave my wife and cross the sea. Rather than be withont Rocky Mountain Tea. G. W. Besley. California Folly described and illustrated in an ar­ tistically arranged and beantifnlly print­ ed book of sixty pages, just issued by the Chicago and North-Western R'y; also portraying the scenic btauties, com- n.ncial, industrial /»nd transportation advantsges of this wonderful state; of .articular interest to those contemplat- .. ng a trip to tbe Pac ific coast Copy ThS Kllid YOtl HdVl AiWdjfl orwurded to sny address on receipt of • nr rents in stamps by W B. Knis- Bears the = FsstUiger 1'ialLo A-aiutger, Cfai-^ MpManflf CASTOR IA For Infants and Children. The ftxtinct Quatfga, The quagga, the half cousin to the >ild ass, has vanished irom Africa and only exists as imperfect specimens In the European museums! The quagga exists as a name still in South Africa, for the name has been tvrongly applied to Burchell's zebra, but the true quagga, which took its name from its cry "quacha," has been extinct since 1872, when the last of his or, rather, of her race, for this quagga was a female, died in the Lon­ don Zoological society's menagerie. Its extinction in South Africa was 5 due solely to the zeal with which the Dutch farmers bunted It for Its hide, and it is a saddening reflection that thousands of Kaffirs used to he fed on it by their Boer masters. The idiotic wastefulness of thus ex­ terminating a species becomes the more marked in view of tbe fact that the quagga, which was midway be­ tween a zebra and a wild ass, could be broken to harness and was the bravest as well as the hardiest of ani­ mals. Some Boer farmers used to keep tame quaggas on their farms to graze with horses in order to protect them from beasts of prey. WHEN LOOKING . Kodwl l>ynpep»la Cnre Otgests all classes of food, ton«s and strengthens the digestive organs. Cures Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Stomach Troub- <*s, and makes rich red blood, health and strength- Kodol rebuilds wornout tissnes, purifies, strengthens and sweet­ ens the stomach. Gov. G. W. Atkinson, of W. Va., sayn: I have used a number »f bottles of Kodol and have found it to lie a very effective and, indeed, a power­ ful remedy for stomach ailments. I recommend it to my friends. Julia A. Story, McHenry, G. W. Besley, West McHenry. y Lflve'a flaal A are. £The last age of love in a man's life is tbe dotage," says Dorothy Dix in Ainslee's. "This is peculiar to wealthy old men, and its most pronounced symptom is a mania for presenting diamonds and opening bottles for chorus girls, who call him papa. At other times in a man's life he has some slight misgivings about love being al­ ways conducted on a reciprocal basis, but when he reaches this age he throws fears to the winds. He knows he is loved for himself alone. The man at twenty-five doubts his power to win a woman's heart. The man of seventy- five Is cocksure that he is a charmer nothing feminine can resist. He knows the ratio of his fascinations has in­ creased with bis advancing years, and he quarrels with his family, who are cruel enough to suggest that tbe debu­ tante be leads to the altar may have a weather ejre on his will. "The last age of love is the most dan­ gerous of them all and is generally fa­ tal. In fact, love is like the measles- It is safest and goes easiest with a man when he has it early in life." Foils A Deadly Attack. "My wife was so ill that good physic- ans were unable to help her," writes VI. M. Austin, of Winchester, Ind.,"bnt *MS completely cured by f)r. King's New Life Pills." They work wonders in stomach, and liver troubles. Cnre constipation, sick headaches Sfic at Jul­ ia A. Story's drug store. Bare Feet and Bartk. There is nothing like having both feet on the ground, says Medical Talk. If a man should go barefoot, tbe con­ tact of bis bare feet with tbe earth and his head projecting Into the at­ mosphere would make a perfect elec­ trical conductor, through which the electricity of the air would pass through his body to the earth. While no apparent harm Is done, yet, being insulated from the electricity of the earth by wearing sboes, the electricity fails of Its beneficial result. There can be no doubt that It would be better for everybody, especially nervous people, If their feet were on tbe ground Instead of In shoes. Raarplckers of Pari*. In Paris eacb house Is provided by the city with a large box. Into this tbe servants throw all that is not need­ ed by the family, whether of food or raiment. Every morning the chif­ foniers, or ragpickers, are privileged to search through these boxes before the contents are carted by the city to dis­ tant fields, where the refuse is em­ ployed in fertilizing the soil. From the homes of the wealthy the poor re­ ceive many articles of real value. Fif­ ty thousand r air pickers, say the statis­ tics, realize $10,000 dally from their pickings. Couch*, Coldm and Con nt I pat Inn. , Few people realize when taking cough medicines other than Foley's Honey and Tar, that they contain opiates which ire constipating besides being unsafe, particularly for children. Foley's Hon­ ey and Tar contains no opiates, is safe and snre and will not constipate. Sold by N. H. Petesch. Tips la St. Peteribarg, Speaking of high prices, Henry Nor­ man's book on Russia throws some in­ teresting light on what it incidentally costs to visit St. Petersburg. To begin with, he tells us every bouse and hotel there contains a swarm of servants, and each one expects a tip. The man who takes your coat and hat at a pri­ vate bouse thinks 10 cents little enough, and If you give a dollar or two to the attendant who performs the same mod­ est service at an official residence he is only satisfied. The tips of a wealthy Russian to a waiter at a good restau­ rant are something enormous. A de­ cent room In a first class hotel costs about $4 a day, and a closed carriage to take you to dinner, ten minutes' drive away, costs $5. A few sheets of note paper in your hotel costs you a shilling and tbe cheapest kind of a bath $1. St Petersburg is far and away the most expensive city In,tbe world. A Timely Topic. At this seasonxof coughs and cold It is well to know thjat Foley's Honey and Tar is the greatest throat and lung rem: edy. It cures quickly and prevents serious results from a cold. Sold by N. H. Petescl^ T O R I A . The Kind You Haw Always BN||R ¥ REMEnBERiiJBESLEVi WEST SIDE DRUGGIST, FOR «j^ 1. . iToilet Sets 1 hnd Ch htat• j m i •A CHOICE LINE OF ALBUris AND PERFUMERY jf AS Ma <M u Nice, line of Novelties for the Christinas t£ade. Before making selections be sure to call and see what we have in<]iretty Gifts. I Everything that is us­ ually kept in an up-to-date store. Call and see us. J. S. BROWN & SON. * Ring wood, III. HE EM IN Yes, and so do all children and grown people enjoy a thorough oath occasionally, afid the only way to get one is in a good bath tub. No family Hbotjld be with­ out one if they wish to keep their bodies clean. The tnb is mni-h more satisfactory than the bowl. I can furnish a tub and set it np in yonr house at a very reasonable price." Call and get figures. ' T&1 a":;1 •x'm •'it m. nV^ -/ -'.t * m CH/RS SCHMIDM f;> '* '.v //HV* 'V/j?-; :k*. J vV.'v'^' ^',v? '•* VV t HILIP JAEGER Qeneral Commission merchant Stall 1 & 3, Fulton S* Wholesale Market ebicaao, Ttlinoi* Special attention given to the sale of Dressed Beef, Hutton Hogs, Veal, Poultry Hides, Etc. Butter and Eggs This is the oldest house on the street Tags and price lists furnished on application COLD STORAGE FREE 'Hr-rV"' "v-. fe'l V'fy ^ffffrrrnSi AVl'gelable Preparalionfor As­ similating ttieFoodandReguIa- ling die Sloioachs and Bowels of In KAN Is/< H1LDKKN Promotes Digeslion.Cheerful- nessatidRest.Contains neither Opium,Morphine nor Mineral. NOT ^AHC OTIC . tfOUBrSBMBLPtTCM* BmyJua St*}* Jfx .Smita , Adsc cSwrf % HfrtpSmii- A perfect Remedy for Cons Ron, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea Worms .Convulsions .Feverish- ness and Loss OF SLEEP. PacSunile Signature or NEW YORK .A I inon l]:s i> 1 d l j EXACT COPY Or WRAPPED For Infants and Children, The Kind You Havg Always Bought For Over Thirty Years CASTORIA NCW VOU* OVTV, Attrddive Auctioo Bills dt this office V .--.cy: .jr-i 5W*