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McHENRY, ILLINOIS, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 19, 1903. ILLINOIS CENTRAL 11IMU0W RATES TO THE SOUTH AND SOUTHWEST, N 0 V E M B E R 2 4 On tljontxivo date the Illinois Central will 8pll round-titp tickets from Chicago to Jackson, Miss., Vicksburg, Miss. Natchez, Hiss., New Orleans, La., and to all Illinois (Vntrul uud V«*oo & Mis­ sissippi Val'ey K. U. points In the States of Mis* ssippl and Louisiana. At $16.00 for Hie' round trip. Jennings, La., Lake Charles, La., Beaumont, Tex., Houston, Tex., San Antonio, Tex., mid to points on t lit- Southern Pacific R H. in the states of Louisiana (west of and including New Iberin. La.) iind Texas (east of and includ­ ing Hnn Antonio, Tex.) At $20.00 for the round trip. Return Limit, December 15. Tickets Htid full information of agents oft he I'llnois Central und connecting lines. A Ja«tlS«bfe Rvnnlpn One time when Sir Walter Scott WM asked if he wrote the YVaverley novels, the authorship of which was a great secret, he raid, "No, I am not the au­ thor, and if I were I should say the same." Mr. Gladstone thought this a Justifiable evasion. Sydney Smith onfce said of some of his anonymous efforts, "I have always denied it; but, finding that I deny It in vain, I have.thought it might be as well to include the letters in this collection." NUMBER 31 1$: A. H. HANSEN, G. P. A., Cbicago. A" Family Nam*. The teacher of a country school asked his pupils one day if any of them cobld tell him who Joan of Arc was. The question was followed by pro­ found silence. Some of the pupils star­ ed at the teacher, and some turned and Btarod at one another, as if seeking the Information in the faces around them. Finally a boy burst out with: "Oh, yes. I know. She was Noah'a wife."--Lippincott's. Cnrrd of fllei* ttfur 40 Years. Mr. C. Haney, of Geneva. O , had the piles for 40 years. Doctors and dollars could do him no lasting jfood De Witt's Witch Hazel Salve cured him perma­ nently. Invaluable for cuts, burns, bruise.", sprains, lacerations, eczema, tetter, salt rhenm, and all other skin diseases. Look for the name PeWitt on the packages--all others are cheap, worthless counterfeits. Sold by all druggists. Tfc« Average Mkb. The factor which is overlooked by those who fear the ascendency of any j quixotic notion is the existence of the average man. This individual is not a 1 striking personality, but ho holds the balance of power. Before any extrava­ gant idea can establish itself it must convert the average man. He is very susceptible and takes a suggestion so readily that it seems to prophesy the complete overthrow of the existing- <ro der of things. But was ever a conver­ sion absolute? The best theologians aay no. A groat deal of the old Adam is always left over. When the average man takes up with a quixotic notion, only so muc h of, it is practically wrought out as be is able to compre­ hend. The old Adam of common sense continually asserts itself. The natural corrective of quixotism is Sancbo Pan- zaism. The solemn knight, with his head full of visionary plans, is follow­ ed by a squire who i» as faithful as his nature will'permit. Sancbo has no theories :ind makes no demands on the world. He leaves that sort fcf thing to his master. He has the fatalism which belongs to ignorant good nature and the tolerance which is found In easy going persons who have neither ideals nor nerves. He has no illusions, though he has all the credulity. of ignorance.-- S..M. Crothers in Atlantic. California Oregon and Washington Fast Through Trains Daily over the only double-track railway between Chi­ cago and the Missouri River. Direct route and excellent train service. Two trains a day to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Portland Through service of Pullman compartment, drawing-room and tourist sleeping cars. Dining cars, library and observation cars, buffet smoking and free reclining chair cars. Daily and Personalis Conducted Excursions For ticket* and information apply to agents of The North-Western Line or addreii W. B. Kniskcrn PASSCNOt* TRAFFIC MANAGER Chicago Oiie o f H i : : \ J o k m . Whi'ii Bill Nye one day happened on the modest sign of Major Pond, the lecturer manager, in a window of the Everett House, in New York, he said to a friend" who accompanied him: "Here'8~fue man that incites the lec­ turers. Let's go in and see if we can't induce hhn to lead a better life." En­ tering. Nye removed his hat and ran his hand over the hairless expanse of his head and after staring al>out for a moment said. "This is Major Pond, I believe." "Yes, sir. What can f do for you?" answered the major. "I want to get a Job on the platform," returned Nye. "Ah. yes," said the major slowly. "Have you had experience?'" "Well, I've been before the public for a couple of years." "Yes? May I ask in what capacity?" "I've been with Barnum. Sat concealed in the bottom of a cab­ inet and exhibited my head as the largest ostrich egg in captivity." The Best K<-ui.-«ly for Croup. [From the Atchison, Kail., Dally (ilobe.l This is the season when the woman who knows the best remedies for cronp is in demand in every neighborhood. One of the most terrible things in the world is to be awakened in thfe middle of the night by a whoop from one of the children. The croup remedies are almost as sure to be lost, in case of cronp, as a revolver is sure to be lost in case of burglars. There used to be an old-fashioned remedy for cronp, known as hive syrup and toln, but some mod­ ern mothers say that Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is better and does not cost so much. It causes the patient to "throw up the phlegm" quicker, and gives relief in a shorter time. Give this remedy as soom as the croupy cough appears and it will prevent the attack. It never fails and it is pleasant and safe to take. For sale by all druggists. Very Low to IiilrriiHtlonitl Live Stock Kxpoitltlon HI Chi«'H|r». Via the Northwestern Line. Ex< nreion tickets will be sold Nov. 29, 80, and Dec. 1, limited to Dec. 7, inclusive. Apply to agents Cbicago & North Western R'y. Bronrhitirt for Yeati-tt. Mrs. Minerva Smith, of Danville, 111., writes: "I had bronchitis for twenty years and never got relief until I used Foley's Honey and Tar. which is a sure cure." There is no other medicine so popular. Contains uo opiates or poisons and never fails to cure ;ougbs and colds. Sold by G. W. Besley, W. McHenry. I Tlie ,1 iMlgniiMit Bfilt. | Husband aud wiie often disagree about some matter that concerns each ' other and frequently tho husband finds 1 that hie wife's judgment is the best. The case of Mr. John W. Young of Lin­ coln, 111 , however, is au exception. He says: "My wife and 1 both had a se­ vere cold and we decided to get some kiud of medicine. I bought myself a bottle of Harts' Honey and Horehound and, taking it as directed, was well iu a short time. She wanted another kind and with the result that she still has a bad cough. I advised her to take Harts' Honey and Horehound and think she will have to do so if she gets well this winter." Harts' Houey and Horehound is sold by G. W. Besley, druggist, W. McHenry, 111., in 25c, 50c and $1.00 bottles. Tlie doynood fr'riena. Before he was elected to be the chief executive of the Old Dominion Gov- erhor"Montague of Virginia met an old classmate on the train. They had not met for years. Mr. Montague was a candidate for governor and the other a plain country lawyer with a small income. "What can I do for you when I'm governor?" said the candidate as he put his arm around his friend. "What can I do for you, old boy?" "Just what you have doue now," quietly replied the lawyer. "Why, what's that?" said the other. "Simply put your arm around me and call me 'old boy.' That's all 1 want," was the reply of the true friend of boyhood days.--Philadelphia Ledger. Saved lty a Ring. Lady Catherine Wyndham, daughter of the Duke of Somerset, wife of Mr. William Wytidham and mother of the first Earl of Egremont, died, as was supposed, at Orchard Wyndhams. the family seat in Somersetshire, and was buried In a vault' beneath the Church of St. Deeuman's. near Watchet. The sexton went down into the vault at night, opened the coffin and endeav­ ored to force a ring off her finger. Lady Catherine awoke from her trance, got up and lighted herself home with a lantern which the sexton had left behind in the vault when he fled in terror. A few months afterward she presented her husband with twins, one of whom liecnme Sir Charles Wynd­ ham aim Earl of Egremont. A lteuiHi-knklf C«He, One'bf the mast remarkable cases of a cold, deep seated on I he lungs, causing pneumonia, is that, of Mrs. Gertrude E. Fenner, Marion, Ind , who was entirely en red by the ase of One Minute Cough Cure. She says: "The coughing and »training so weakened me that I ran down iu weight from 148 to 5)2 pounds. I tried a number of remedies to no avail until I used One Minute Cough Cnre. Four bottles of this wonderful remedy cured me entirely of the cough, strengthened my lungs and restored me to my normal weight, health and strength." Sold by all druggists. Hainan Breath and Bees. Bees are revived by human breath, even when apparently dead. An old ! writer on the subject describes how, ; during a very wet May, he discovered j a hive which had l>een working well j previously whose tenants seemed to be | dead, but by putting a few of them j Into his hand and breathing upon them j for several minutes he at last observed j some motion at the second Joint of j their horns. By persevering he re- j vlved them all, and they became the best hive In his garden. He Is, how- ! ever, careful to remark that those who I use pomatum, perfume or hair powder should not make too free with the in *ects dining the process of restoration. The secret, of course--though at one time the thing was regarded as mirac­ ulous is in the warmth conveyed; but. besides this, there Is no doubt that b««e* are roused by human breath, to which I hey have such an antipathy that they are much more easily handled if the operator draws his breath gently anil takes care not to.direct It against them. -- London Standard. Southwest Excursion DATE: November 24, 1903. TICKET: Round-trip, first-class. LirilT: Three weeks. RATES: Less than the regular one-way fare. TO: ALL points in Indian^ and Oklahoma Terri­ tories. MANY points in Kansas, Texas and New Mexico. ROUTE: Atchison, Topeka & Santa Fe Ry. Don't let this chance get by. It will not come again this winter. Visit the Southwest and see for yourself the much-talked of progress and development of that section. We have some straightforward literature for the home- seeker and investor which we will gladly send, if you wish it. Tell us what section interests you. N. CONNCLL, Gen. Agent. 109 Adtma St., ChloMo. S Ql rv t a. F O A S T O H I Bear* the s) The Kind You Have Always Bought The Plaindealer is adding new names to its list every day. Is your name on the roll of honor? Don't borrow. Never Auk Advice. When you have a cough or c Id don 't ask what is good for it aud get some medicine with little or no merit and perhaps dangerous. Ask for Foley's Honey and Tar, the greatest throat and luyg remedy, it cures coughs aud colds quickly. Sold by G. W. Besley, West McHenry. Is Your Time Money If so you ought to appreciate anythiag that will help you save it. The best way to save time b to hm i Chicago Telephone OMt b«t 6# BIBI» M <hy CHICAGO TELEPHONE COMPANY Shoe Brck'ngPearlButtons worth 10c, special 2 for 5c Rubber Boots boy's, 1 to 5, regular $3.00 special 1.89 Sweaters Men's, worth ?5c, special 39c Press Pants Men's, worth $3.50, special 1.48 worth 15c card, special 8c Rubber Boots Men's, worth $8.26, special 2.48 Boy's Sw't'rs all wool, regular price 85c, special 49c Men's Pants Eyeryday, worth $1.00, special 69c Men's Suits Corduroy, 86 to 42, worth $8.00, special 4.98 Corsets worth $1.4)0, 'special 48c Men's Shirts Everyday, 3 colors, regular 60c, special 39c GREAT FALL BARGAINS! Sale Begins Friday, November 30, and continues for 1 Weeks. Felt Shoes Ladies', worth $1.75, special 1.24 Arctics Children's, with buckles, worth $1.00, special 09c Jersey Coats Men's, fleeced lined, worth $2.00, special 1.10 Dress Shoes Ladies', worth $2.00, special 1.29 Plain Rubb'rs Children's, 18 to 8, worth 50c, special 36c Dress Shirts Men's, with collars, worth 50c. special 250 Ha'dkereiii'fs Ladies', worth 5 to 10c eaoh, special 4c Bed Blankets 12*4, regular $2.00, special 1.39 Wool Socks Men's, regular 30c, special 19c G-erm'n Socks Men's, beet, worth $1.00, special 79c Hose Children's Cassimere, 5$ to 9, worth 35c, special 23c Bed Blankets worth $1.00, special 69c Scissors worth Wte, special 25c Shoe Strings worth 10c bnnch, special 5c Underwear Boy'8, fleeced lined, best quality, 24 to 34, worth 40c, special 23c Calico German blue, worth 8c per yard, special 5lAo Underwear Boys', all wool, grey, reg 75c, 26 to 82, special 29c Boys' Shoes 1 to 51, regular $1.75, special 1.19 Rubbers Ladies' Alaska well lined, worth $1.00, special « 69c Men's Shirts Jersey, worth $1.00/ special 49c Ladies' Hose Fleeced lined, regular 20c, special 10c Flannellettes? 9 colors worth 11c per yd special 8Kc Bed Spreads White, wortb/$1.40, special 98c ToothBrush's regular 10c brush, special 5o j 1 Youths Shoes j 8 to 13$, regular $1.50, j special j 89c Knee Pants Child's, worth 40c, special 24c Underwear Ladies', fleeced lined, worth 40c, special 25c Misses' Shoes 9 to 13*, worth $1.50, special 89c Men's Mittn's Cloth, worth 85c, 2 for 25c Felt Boots Men's, best quality, worth $3.00, special 2.39 Flannel Shaker, worth 8c, special 5lAo Duck Coats very best, sheep skin lin'd big collars, worth $6.00, special 3 75 Pins worth 4c. special lc Men's Hats Dress, soft and Btiff worth $2.00 to $8.00, special 1.00 Ten'is Flann'l worth 10c per yard, special 7Kc Underwear Ladies', all wool, worth $1.00, special 79c' PlainRubbers Ladies', worth 75c, special"" 48c Duck Coats Men's, worth $2.00, special 1.19 Cotton Batts worth 8c, special 4c Silk Twist per spool lc Knee Pants Corduroy, worth 60c, special 35c Sto'k'ngCaps .Children's, worth-80o, special 19c Laundy Soap very best, 10 bars for 25c ~~rf Ladies' Shoes Everyday, worth $2.00, special 1.19 Men's Pants Corduroy, worth $2.25, special 1.39 Overshoes Men's, with buckles worth $1.50, special 1.19 Writi'g Pap'r and Envelopes in box, worth 10c, special 4c Men's Caps Plush, regular 75c, speciar 35c Some of the rarest Bargains ever offered in He Henry. Dress Goods 5 colors, best, all wool, worth 75c, special 39c Mittens Child's, worth 15c, special 5c Toweling worth 7c per yar£, special 4c Jaokets Men's Cord'gan, worth $1.50, special 79c Jackets Men's working, heavy, worth 50c, special 39c PlayingCards best, worth 15c and 20c, special 8c Thread Machine, very beet, worth 5c, special 3xAc J. Hurwitz, WEST flcHENRY, ILL. Supporters Child's hose, worth 15c pair, special 8c Table Cloth red. worth 00c per yard* special 29e Thimbles worth 5c each, special 2 for 5c Pencils Worth lc each, special per dozen 7c Underwear Men's, fleeced lined, best quality, special 39c Leggins Men's Canvas, beet, worth 65c, special 45c Combs Worth 10c, special 7c Men's Shoes working. worth $2.00, special 1.23 Rubbers Men's storm, worth $1.25, special 89o Sweaters Men's, all wool, worth $8.50, special 1.89 Overalls Men's bib regular 60c, special 35c Underwear Men 's, all wool, best quality, worth $1.85 8 oolor, special 89c Ink worth 5c, speoial 3c Parlor Lamps worth $2.00, special 98c Knitti'g Yarn Fleisher's best, worth $1.15, special 880 Linings regular price 6c per yari special 4c Ha'dkerchi'fs Ha'dkerchi'fe Men's, red, worth 7c, special 3xAo Men's, white, worth 5c and lOo 3o V- r.-v;?!" , '.:,a. $