Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 28 Jan 1904, p. 6

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pPSs 6? •/ f ' ^ f l f t s S i - : - :. , - '7 • T'" ^ V ^h. , - < , *, v ^ ^ a ^ ̂ ,* ^ ^ -" ;^ ; - ^ *" «., »-^ »>~k ^Sk ^ "v* ^ T H E G I R L A T T H E f H A L F W A V H O U S E A S T O R Y or T H E P L A 1 N S BY E * H O U G k , A U T H O R < 4 F T H E S T O R Y OF T H B C O W B O Y C * $ » r i g k t t d , 1 9 0 3 . t y D . A t * l * t « n |y«>ww/y>Mi d » C r m t * m r , t f t w Y o r k CHAPTER VII.--Continued. franklin bad small notion of Curly's Jooality, but he heard his voice, half taftnting and half encouraging, and qfilng on Jbi8 pluck as he saw some ha*e of a successful issue, he resolved to ride it out if It lay within him so (tq^do. He was well on with his reso­ lution when he heard another voice, Which he recognized clearly. "Good boy, Ned," cried out this voice heartily, though likewise from some locality yet vague. "R-ride the dfril to a finish, me boy! Git up his head, Ned! Git up his head! The nrarderio', haythln' brute! Kill him! Ride him out!" And ride him out Franklin did, per­ haps as much by good fortune as by •kill, though none but a shrewd horse­ man would have hoped to do this feat. Hurt and jarred, he yet kept upright, and at last he did get the horse's head up and saw the wild per­ formance close as quickly as it had begun. The pony ceased his grunt­ ing and fell into a stiff trot, with little to indicate his hidden pyrotechnic quality. Franklin whirled him around - and rode up to where Battersleigh and Curly had now joined. He was a dbit pale, but he pulled himself togeth­ er well before be reached them and dismounted with a good front of un­ concern. Battersleigh grasped his hand in, both his own and greeted him with a shower of welcomes and of compliments. Curly slapped him heartily upon the shoulders. "You're all right, pardner," said he. "You're the d dest best pil­ grim that ever struck this place, an' I kin lick ary man that says differ'nt He's yore horse, now, shore." "And how do ye do, Ned? God bless ye!" said Battersleigh a moment later, after things had become more tran­ quil. "I'm glad to see ye; glad as fwer I was in all me life to see a llv- inr soul! Why didnt ye tell ye was comln', and not come rldin' like a murderin Cintaur--but ay, boy, ye*re possessed of a certain knowledge in building houses after the fashion of that land--that is to say, of sods and earthen unbaked bricks--and since under his master's direction he was not less serviceable than docile, it was not long before the "claim" of Battersleigh was adorned with a com­ fortable house fit for either winter or summer habitation. Even in the "first year" the settler of the new West was able to make his living. He killed off the buffalo swiftly, but he killed them in num­ bers so desperately large that their bones lay in uncounted tons all over a desolated empire. First the hides and then the bones of the buffalo gave the settler his hold upon the land, which perhaps he could not else have won. & Franklin saw many wagons coming and 'unloading their cargoes of bleached bones at the side of the railroad tracks. There was a market for all this back in that country which had conceived this road across the desert. Franklin put out a wagon at this industry, hauling in the fuel and the merchandise of the raw plains. He bought the grim product of others who were ready to sell and go oat the ear­ lier again. Meantime the little town added building after building along its strag­ gling street. These new edifices were for the most part used as business places, the sorts of oommerce being but two--"general merchandise," which meant chiefly saddles and fire­ arms, and that other industry of new lands which flaunts under such sign­ boards as the Lone Star, the Happy Home, the Quiet Place, the Cowboy's Dream and such descriptive nomencla­ ture. Of fourteen busines houses, nine were saloons, and all these were pros­ perous. One by one, then In a body, as though struck by panic, the white tents of the railroad laborers van­ ished, passing on yet farther to the At last he did get the horse's head up. a rider--worthy the ould Forty-siv- enth--yis, more, 111 Bay ye might be a officer in the guards,'or in the Rile Irish itself, b'gad, yes, sir!--Curly, ye diwil, what do ye mean by puttin' me friend on such a brute, him the first day in the land? And, Ned, how »•<* ye goin* to like it here, me boy?" lYanklifl wiped his forehead as he replied to Battersleigh's running fire of salutations. "Well, Battersleigh," he said, "I mast say I've been pretty busy ever since I got here, and so far as I can tell at this date, I'm much disposed to think this is a strange and rather rap­ id sort of country you've got out here." "Best d n pilgrim ever hit this rodeo!" repeated Curly, with convic­ tion. "Shut up, Curly, ye diwil!" said Battersleigh. "Come into the house, the both of you. It's but a poor house, but ye^re welcome. An' welcome ye <ret too, Ned, me boy, to the New fTorld." CHAPTER VIII. N V The Beginning. Franklin's foot took hold upon the aoU of the new land. His soul reached out and laid hold upon the sky, the harsh flowers, the rasping wind. He gave, and he drank in. Thus grew the people of the West "Think you, Ned, my boy," said Bat- torsleigh, one day, as they stood at the tent door--"think you, this old Cray world has been inhabited a mil­ lion years, by billions of people, and yet here we have a chance to own a part of it, each for himself, here, at this last minute of the world's life! Do you mind that, what it means? Never you think a chance like that'll last forever. Yet here we are, before the law, and almost antedatin' the social ijee. It's the beginnin', man, it's the very beginnin' of things, where we're standin' here, this very blessed day of grace. It's Batty has traveled all his life, and seen the lands, bat never did Batty live till now!" "It's grand," murmured Franklin, half dreamily and unconsciously re­ peating the very words of his frlenu, as he had done before. Yet Franklin was well bitten of the ambition germ. It would serve him to run only in the front rank. He was not content to dream. He saw the great things ahead, and the small things that lay between. In a week was the guiding mind in the af­ fairs of the odd partnership which #ow sprang between him and his friend. Battersleigh would have lived till autvmn in his tent, but Franklin •aw that the need of a bouse was im­ mediate. He tpok counsel of Curly, the cowboy, who proved guardian and benefactor. Curly forthwith pro­ duced a workman, a giant Mexican, a half-witted moso, who had followed the cow bands from the far South- vest, and who had bung about Curly's own place as a sort of menial, bound to do unquestionably whatever Curly bMe. This curious being, a very co- lossos of strength, was found to be fc-T 3 # • West, only the engineers .remaining at Ellisville and prosecuting from the haven of the stone hotel the work of continuing the line. The place of the tents was taken by vast white-topped wagons, the creaking cook carts of the cattle trail, and the van of the less nomadic man. It was the begin­ ning of the great cattle drive from the Southern to the Northern ranges, a strange, wild movement in Ameri­ can life which carried in its train a set of conditions as vivid and peculiar as they were transient. Ellisville lay at an eddy in the Plains and gathered toll of the strange driftwood which was then afloat. Though the chutes at the rail­ way were busy, yet other herds of cattle passed Ellisville and wandered on north, crowding at the heels of the passing Indians, who now began to see their own cattle to be doomed. The main herd of the buffalo was now reported to be three or four days' drive from Ellisville, and the men who killed for the railroad camps ut­ tered loud complaints. The skin- htfnting still went on. Great wagons, loaded with parties of rough men, passed on out, bound for the inner haunts, where they might still find their prey. The wagons came creak­ ing back loaded with bales of the shaggy brown robes, which gave the skin-hunters monev with which to join the cowmen at the drinking places. Not sinless was this society at its incipiency. In any social at­ mosphere good and evil are necessary concomitants. Sinless men would form a community at best but perish­ able. Tolerance, submission, patriot­ ism so called, brotherly love so named--all these things were to come later, as they have ever done in the development of communities, builded mainly upon the foundation of In­ dividual aggressiveness and individual centrifugence. Having arrived, we wave scented kerchiefs between us and the thought of such a beginning of our prosperity. Having lost touch of the earth, having lost sight of the sky, we opine there could have been small augur in a land where each man found joy in an earth and sky which to him seemed his own. There were those who knew that joy and who foresaw its passing, yet they were happy. CHAPTER IX. The New Movers. far away, across the wide gray plain, appeared a tiny dot, apparently an unimportant fixture of the land­ scape. An hour earlier it might not have been observed at all by even the keenest eye, and it would have needed yet more time to assure an observer even uow that the dot was a moving object. Presently an occa­ sional side-blown puff of dust added a certain heraldry, and thus finally the white-topped wagon and Its plodding team came fully into view, crawling ever persistently from the East to the West. Meantime, from the direction of the north, there came traveling across the prairie another cloud of dunt more rapid than that stirred up by the slow- moving emigrant wagon. Sam, the stage driver, was crossing on his reg­ ular buckboard trip from Ellisville to Plum Centre, and was now nearly half-way on his journey. Obviously the courses of these two vehicle® must intersect, and at the natural point of this intersection the driver of the faster pulled up and waited for the other. "Movers" were not yet so common in that region that the stag* driver, natural news agent, must not pause for investigation. The driver of the wagon, a tall, dark man, drew rein with a grave sal­ utation, his tired horses standing with drooping beads while there took place one of the pregnant conversations of the plains. "Mornin', friend," said Sam. "Mornin', sir." said the other. "Which way you headin', friend T" asked Sam. "Well, sir," came the answer, slow* ly, "I rather reckon you've got me. I've just been movin' on out. I wan to locate, but I reckon my team coul travel a little further if they had t<$ This with a certain grimness in hla smile, as though he realized the whim* sicality of the average motive which governed in that day in quests like his. "Is there much travel comln' through here this season?" he re­ sumed, turning in his seat and resting one foot on the wheel as he sat still perched on the high wagon seat • "Well," replied Sam, "they ain't So mrch just yet, but they will be pretty soon. You see, the Land Office lis about sixty miles east of here yet, and folks is mostly stoppin' in there. Land around here is pretty much all open yet If they move the Land Of* fice to the track-end, of course all this land will be taken up a good deal faster." "Is it good farmin' land around here?" "Sure. Better'n it is farther west, and just as good as it is farther east. Wheat'U do well here, and it ain't too cold for corn. Best cow country on earth." "How is Ellisville doing now?" "Bloomin'." "Yes, sir, so I heard farther back. Is it goin' to be a real town?" "That's whatever! How can It help it? It's goin' to be a division point on the road. It's goin' to have ail the cattle-shippin' trade. After a while it'll have all the farmin' trade. It's goin' to be the town, all right, don't you neglect that Yes, sir, Ellisville is the place!" "Which way are you bound, sir?'* asked the stranger, still sitting, ap- parently In thought, with his chin resting on his hand. (To be continued.) HE LOOKED HiS YEARS. And Clergyman Was Unpleasantly Re­ minded of the Past. Edmund J. James, the president of Northwestern university, was travel­ ing some months ago with a clergy­ man. This clergyman, a man of about sixty-six, looks older than he really is, a fact of which he hates to be rer minded. At a small rural station an aged and bent farmer, panting violently, boarded the train. "I have had to run," he said, "nearly half a mile to catch these cars.'.' Then, addressing himself to Prof. James's companion, he went on: "It's a bad job, sir, when old folks like you and me has to run." The clergyman, frowning, asked the farmer how old he was." "I'm eighty-six," was the reply. "Oh," said the clergyman, "tnere Is twenty years' difference between you and me." "Goodness, sir,"* exclaimed the old man, "you don't mean to tell me you're a hundred and six?" Waits for His Master. "Hello, Ribs, he ain't on this train!" Thus brakeman or baggagsmaster greets a big black and white dog which every evening trots down to the station in a small Pennsylvania town to meet the train on which his master used to come home. Ribs' master has not come home on the train for many months. He was conductor of a train which was wrecked, and was killed. But Ribs has never missed a train. He stands on the platform wagging his tail, his tongue hanging out, an expression of anxious hope in his eyes, waiting for his master. When one of the trainmen explains, "He ain't on this train," the red tongue goes slowly back Into the big mouth, the strong jaws close, the snaggy tail drops and Ribs turns and walks back to his kennel. But on the following day he appears promptly in time for his master's usual train, and waits until some one of the pity­ ing train hands tells him, "He ain't come in yet!" Definition of the Stage Klee. Daniel Frohman and some friends were discussing various theatrical matters in the lobby of the Lyric, wnen a stranger addressed them: "I beg your pardon, gentlemen," said he, "but I'm a psychologist in search of Information. I happened to overhear your conversation and presume you are connected with histrionic affairs. Can any of you tell me just what a stage kiss Is? Of course, I mean its character or kind?" Mr. Frohman declined to commit himself, but one of the party replied: "Why, a stage kiss Is about the same sort of a one a fellow's wife gives him when he comes home after losing his week'e salary at the races." --New York World. No Love of Qod in a Footnote. Dr. Charles Parkhurst of New York believes in people scying just what they mean, and says he has a horror of footnotes. "Whenever I see a foot- note," he says, "I am always remind­ ed^ of a certain Presbyterian church meeting. One statute drawn up per­ tained to the love of the Almighty, and it was stated In the rigid, old- fashioned Presbyterian style, with more of sternness than love in it One of the more gentle Presbyterian brethren suggested that a foot-note be added, mitigating somewhat the harsher statement Then up jumped the Rev. Dr. Howard Crosby. "I ob­ ject, gentlemen,' he said. 'I will not have the lovo of God pot la ft foot­ note.' " VyoMAM'C muss Military Coat. Military coats are the fancy of the season and are peculiarly smart worn with skirts of plaid. The costume shown combines one of the latest models in black cloth with the char­ acteristic gold buttons, and a plaited Skirt of blue and green plaid that Is most effective. The coat is an emi­ nently desirable one and includes a cape of novel sort with a flat collar that gives the broad, drooping shoul­ der line. The skirt is plaited and joined to a yoke at sides and back that avoids all bulk over the hips. To make the coat for a woman of 4810 Military Coat. 32 to 40 bust. 4260 Tutted Pialted Skirt, 22 to 30 waist. , medium size will be required yards of material 44 or 3% yards 52 Inches wide, to make the skirt 6^4 yards 44 or 5 yards 62 inches wide. A May Manton pattern of the coat No. 4610, sizes 32 to 40 or of skirt No. 4260, sizes 22 to 30, will be mailed to any address on receipt of ten cents for each. Collar and Cuff Cases. Fancy cases for turnover collars and cuffs are long, wide enough for thp widest of the cuffs and collars, and fbld together in two folds like a glove case, only the two sides are mounted upon firm pasteboard so that they are stiff. Sachet cotton is put over the pasteboard, and covering of brocade is added. Firm straps of rub­ ber across the sides at the ends and in the middle, and under these rub­ bers the collars and cuffs are slipped and held flat and smooth. Ribbons tie the case and the amount of orna­ mentation depends upon the taste of the maker, but the cases, offered in the shops, while pretty, are plain. They undoubtedly fill a much-felt want Child's Tucked Frock. Wee tots are' always charming In frocks of dainty material simply made. The very pretty little model shown is tucked to form a yoke and can be fin­ ished plain or with the berllia as pre­ ferred. Theoriginal is made of fine nainsook with trim­ ming of embroid­ ery, but all fabrics used for the dress­ es of little children are appropriate. With the bertha the frock becomes suited to dress oc­ casions, without it is adapted to the hours of play and to simpler materials. The dress consists of front and back, the tucks forming the yoke, with full sleeves that are tucked above the elbows in conformity with the latest style. The bertha is circular and ar­ ranged over the dress on Indicated lines and at the lower edge is a gath­ ered frill. The quantity of material required for the medium size (2 years) is 3 yards 27 Inches wide, 2% yards 32 inches wide or 2 yards 44 inches wide, with 5*6 yards of insertion to trim as illustrated in the medium size. The pattern 4628 is cut In sizes for children of 1, 2 and 4 years of age. 4628 Child's Tucked Frock, 1 to 4 year*. Cleaning Laces. Delicate white laces may be cleaned by laying them smoothly on white paper and covering them with mag­ nesia; put another paper over this, and place them between the leaves of a book for several days. Then brush out the magnesia with a brush and the lace will be found much improved. Beaten of this paper oan secure soy May Manton pattern illustrated above by filling out all biaolut In coupon, and mailing, with 10 ceutak ts K. K. Harrison & Co., 65 Plymouth Place, Cht> eega Pattern will be mailed promptly. Bute. . Ha.. Waist Measure (tf for aklrt). Measure (U lor walat) Ace (tf fluid's or miss's patten). A CALENDAR WATCH. The First One Cost $2,600.00---Made for Napoleon Bonaparte. A watch that tells the second, min­ ute, hour, day of the week, day of month and changes of moon, is a time­ piece that until recently could be owned only by the nobility because of the high cost. The first one cost |2,600.00 and, was made entirely by hand and consumed over two year's time in construction. About 50 years later a Swiss concern placed some on the market which could be sold In this country for about $200 each. This watch that has hitherto been sold at a price which only the well- to-do could afford^ has just been put on the market at a low price, and it is a watch which fills a long felt want If a watch tells us the hour and the minute of the day, why should not the same machine tells us the day of the week, day of the month, and month of the year? A prominent manufac­ turer has realized the usefulness, if not the actual necessity of such a timepiece and by simplifying the mechanism and arranging to turn them out In large quantities, has, after several years of work and the expenditure of a larga amount of money, succeeded in producing a watch thoroughly reliable In every way. This watch Is a perpetual cal-1 endar as well as a timepiece, and what is of more interest to the public, jis sold at a price but a fraction above that of any ordinary watch of like grade. Contrary to the supposition of the uninitiated, it is not an intricate as­ sembly of complicated parts, but Is as simple as any regular timepiece. On the dial, in addition to the small second dial, it has three small dials of like character, one showing the days of the week, another the days of the month, while a third shows the month of the year. By an ingenious attachment to one of the wheels, when the hour and minute hands show mid­ night, the small hands indicating the days of the week and the days of the month, move forward automatic­ ally one day, thus saving the wearer the necessity of changing the calen­ dar attachment,' and In consequence the watch needs no care or attention after being once correctly set except to be wound regularly. The manu­ facturers have been quick to appre­ ciate the certainty of a large demand for this article in this country and have ^rranged to market them through Dellhart Mnfrs. & Traders, Ltd., a prominent New York house who, as an introductory measure will furnish them direct to the public. An article that so completely fills a want has seldom been seen and has hither­ to been utterly disregarded by man­ ufacturers. It can consistently be said that for usefulness and reliabil­ ity this is one of the most attractive articles in the watch line. An advertisement setting forth the merits of this watch appears else­ where in these columns. LASTING In "The New Thought Simplified," by Henry Wood (Lee & Shepard, Bos­ ton), we find a presentation of this subject so plain as to be readily un­ derstood by everyone, its principles being set forth in a'simple, yet attract­ ive style. It attacks no creed or re­ ligion, antagonizes no previously es­ tablished doctrines, but on the other hand several chapters are devoted to showing the relations of the New Thought to the Church, Bible, modern reforms, etc. Lessons or exercises for daily use are given which well may be termed mental and spiritual gymnastics. < Whist Authority Dead. Nicholas Browse Trlst of New Or leans, who died of heart disease last week, was the highest recognized au­ thority in this country on the game of whist. He served in the Confederate army under Gen. Kirby Smith, prac­ ticed law subsequently, and was raised to an honorable position on the local bench. Teoslnte and Billion Dollar Grass. The two greatest fodder plants on earth, one good for 14 tons hay and the other 80 tons green fodder per acre. Grows everywhere, so does Victoria Rape, yield­ ing 60,000 lbs. sheep and swine food pet acre. JUST SEND 10c IN STAMPS TO TOTS John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., and receive in return their big catalogandx lots of farm seed samples. (W. N.TTf) ' Perfect School Attendance. A school girl at Lee, Mass., has been awarded a medal for a seven years' perfect school attendance. All the members of the family--nine In num­ ber--attended the same school, and not one missed a single attendance. Try Or.e Package. If "Defiance Starch" does not please you, return it to your dealer. If it does you get one-third more for the same money. It will give you satisfaction, and will not stick tQ the iron. Millions for Memorials. An officii of the English war of­ fice estimates that half a million has been spent in the country during 1903 on memorials to those who fell dur­ ing the South African war. Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Chlldm Successfully used by Mother Gray, nurse in the Children's Home in New York, cura Constipation, Feverishness, Bad Stomach, Teething Disorders, move and regulate tha Bowelsaud Destroy Worms. Over 80,000tea* timonials. At all Druggists. 25c. Sample VBE£. Address A. S. Olmsted, LeRoy,N. x. Can Not Have Dolls. In some European countries chil­ dren are not allowed to play with dolls/ It Is feared that if this were permitted the little ones would learn to worship them as Idols. For Mother's Eyes. In another column of this paper will be fbund an announcement of the Phoenix Chair Co., Sheboygan, Wis., settlngforth the merits of the "Phoenix Walking Chair" for babies. Every mother should read it Write plainly. Fill out all blanks. Enclose Ma Mall to B. K. Hairlaon 4k Oo., fib Plymouth flao* Ghlea«a ' fW?. Best Hated Man in Ireland. The late marquis of Sligo enjoyed the reputation of being one of the most hated men who owned estates im Ire­ land. Lewis* **Single Binder." The richest quality cigar on the market at straight Be. Always reliable. You pay 10c for cigars not so good. Lewis' Factory, Peoria* LLL Standing room is likely to bo at a nrenium in Corea soon. -SCr i ' - v '«• ' i Copyright, 1904, by Western Newspapet Union. Being a Boy. Tea. being a boy has Its triumphs. At least to a man looking back-- A glamorous, glorious boyhood! Utopian Joys, what a stack! With swimming and fishing, and trapping And hunting the Indian wild! - Ah! days of Cocagne, lotus ladea,* When man was a minion--a chil® But nevertheless in my dreaming There rankles, my ardor to cool. The thoughts of the mandate which bade me Saw wood for the house after school! The woodpile was ample, and scraggly With slivers and knots! What a pllet Beginning close up to the woodshed, Extending northeastward a mile! Twas hlsh as the cornice of Pisa, And broadef &>y far than a block. While some of the big sticks were tougher Fair harder and tougher, than rock! At sunset when all of my fellows Were tempting the big flsH to bite, Twas I to that tyrant, the woodpile. To get up the wood for the night! The stoves were red demons of fury That joyed in their gormandlsh glee, Each generous crackle and sparkle Portending more sawing for me! . . At night, in my little back bedroom. There stalked a grim spectre in whtt« "*• face was the blade of a bucksaw His legs were Jack-oak! What a sight! Yes, be'ng a boy has its triumphs. At least to a man looking back-- ®u£ give me the days o? my manhood. Though something of boyhood they laekl Give me mature age and its sceptre. ..Its glory of battles withstood. When I may no longer be chided To hustle outdoors and saw wood! Consistency. She had the boy arrested-- "The wicked little bratl"-- For killing a canary Like that upon her hat! GOME 0« re uw THE TRIALS OF BOY-WORLD. Sentence Sermons. Folly pays the orchestra. All would be great by adoption. Money makes the automobile go. Hope is the salvation of happiness. Do good, tho' others do you--good. Respect and love are twin brothers. Love gets cold feet at a shiftless fireplace. Beware of the dog--he may not bs disinfected. . The blessings of. health are best told by sickness. Wealth cannot put a golden namo* plate on the heart. Fame is transitory; the memory of a mother, everlasting. God made the universe, and ths trusts pre-empted his handiwork. An unmarried man may marry, but a married man's goose is cooked! • The riffles run to, still water; indis­ creet youth to wisdom and the tran­ quility of old age. When hungry, beg of the man whose looks suggest he may have been hun­ gry himself some day. The rich, hav­ ing always been fed, cannot appre­ ciate the gnawings of non-sustenance. ' Life 8entence for This. He was a strapping six-footer. She was a petite little lady coming below his shoulder in stature. But Cupid had willed it, they two had said it, and the minister had done the rest It was night, and about their* dove­ cote the horse-fiddle shrieked, the tom­ tom reiterated, the shelled corn fell against the window panes and pande­ monium reigned, as the serenad'vs called for the bride and groom. Jfresently a window was thrown up and before It stood the persecuted pair. "Gentlemen," protested the husband, his arm about his clinging wife, "here I am. Here is Mrs. Jones, and that's the long and short of it!" Saying which he closed the window with a bang. < " 5 9 5 Poor, Tired Pa. Rastus came sniffling to school that morning, with grief depicted in his adolescent face. "Please, teacher," he lisped, 'Tva gotta quit school. My ma is dead and I've gotta go to work. •'Ye see," wiping away a tear, "now that ma's gone pa's gotta take keer o* hisself, an' I've gotta help pa!" His mother had been a "wash-lady." 5 5 5 "I tried a new scheme Christmas,'* said Uncle By, winking his eye slow­ ly at Bings on the opposite side of the grocery store stove. "I bought my wife a nice, comfortable suit of clothes, a pair of mittens, four pairs of socks, and a half,dozen soft shirts. My wife bought me a feather boa, a new party gown and paid the rent for another quarter. And do you believe it--we are both satisfied." . Taking a Chance. "Patience and shuffle the cards," said Don Quixote. Y "A bas, the cards," replied the Mer­ chant of Venice. "Here Is a quarter. Heads I win, tails you lose!" "Done!" cried Quixote. And the drinks were on Don. HISTORY UP TO DATE. 5 5 5 A Georgia man has married his mother-in-law. Mother-in-law jokers will now please go-away-back-and-ait- down! RELIEF.?.1 J. W. Walla, Super­ intendent of Streets of Lebanon. Ky^ says: "My nightly rest was broken, owing to irregularities of the kidneys, I suffered intensely from severe pains in the small of my back and through the kidneys and was annoyed by pain­ ful passages of abnormal secretions. Doctors failed to relieve me. I began taking Doan's Kidney Pills and I ex­ perienced quick and lasting relief. Doan's Kidney Pills will prove a bless­ ing to all sufferers from kidney disor­ ders who will give them a fair trial." Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y„ proprietors. For sale by all druggists, price SO cents per box. • close mouth is tha passport to The Giving of Charity. The man who gives $50 for a Char­ itable purpose without knowing how the money is expended, and whether there Is a proper accounting of all money so collected, Is not using his ordinary business Intelligence in a matter that affects his family and the whole community. If he gives his personal interest with the money he will make sure that L is going to be used properly. His love for the poor whom he hopes to benefit should carry him further than the signing of a check. New Use for 'Phone. To apply for a position when you are out of work by telephone Is one of the latest manifestations of the universal convenience of long-distance talking. No need now to advise the impecunious young man to borrow $25 •^-of somebody else--for a new suit, hat and gloves In order that he may give out the impression of not being poor. The man at the 'phone will listen only to the .quality of his ut­ terance, and will not be affected by the color of the tie the youth has on. The net saving, therefore, of getting a Job over the wire, supposing that the young man has to call Hp fifty different business men, is $20--a tidy little sum toward staving off the as- signment-of-wages man. Great Is modern economy.--Boston Transcript The tf. 8. Dept. «f Agriculture Gives to Salzer's Oats its heartiest endorsement. Salzer's New National Oats yielded in 1903 from 150 to 300 bu. per acre in 30 different States, and you, Mr. Farmer, can beat this In 1904, if you will. Salzer's seeds are pedigree seeds, bred up through careful •-•lec­ tion to big yields. Per Acre. Salzer's Beardless Barley yielded 121 bu. Salzer's Home Builder Corn. 800 bu. Speltz and Macaroni Wheat. 80 bu. Salzer's "Victoria Rape 60,000 lbs. Salzer's Teosinte, the quick- growing fodder wonder....160,000lbs. Salzer's Billion Dollar Grass. 50,000 lbs. Salzer's Pedigree Potatoes.. 1,000 bu. Now such yields pay and you can have them, Mr. Farmer, In 1904. SEND lOo IN STAMPS and this notice to the John A. Salser Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis., and you will get their big catalog and lots of farm seed samples free. (W. N. U.) With Good Effect It was at a chamber concert by a famous string quartet, says the Chica­ go Journal, and the two large hatted, chatty persons of the matinee type who sat directly before the music lov­ ers were so communicative as to their affairs and those of all their acquaint­ ances that the- recital was of small pleasure to the appreciative and long- suffering couple directly in the rear of the conversationalists. "I am sorry we could not have heard more of your conversation," the patient pale lover of music wrote on the margin of his program, "but the violinist has Incon­ siderately been making himself heard from time to time. I am sure, how­ ever, if you speak a little louder he will understand and give way to you." "I would like to drop that in their lap3," he said, passing it to his com­ panion with a savage gleam in his eye, "but I don't quite dare." "I do, then," said the mild-voiced young woman at his side, and In some sudden and inexplicable manner the paper appeared before the eyes of the voluble persons before her. They looked wrathfully behind them, only to encounter a row of immobile faces, all eyes raptly regarding the stage. They glared to the right and to the left of them, with no more satisfac­ tory results. Then they sulked, which had the desired effect, and the remain­ der of the evening was a distinct suc­ cess in their vicinity. DR. FED HIMSELF. Found the Food that 8aved His Llfs. A good old family physician with a lifetime experience In saving people finally found himself sick unto death. Medicines failed and ---- but let him tell his own story. "For the first time in my life of sixty-one years I am Impelled to pub­ licly testify to the value of a largely advertised article and I certainly would not pen these lines except that, what seems to me a direct act of Providence, saved my life and I, am impressed that it is a boundea duty to make it known. "For 3 years I kept falling with stomach and liver disorders until I was reduced 70 lbs. from my nor­ mal weight When I got too low to treat myself, 3 of my associate physi­ cians advised me to 'put my house in order' for I would be quickly going the way of all mankind. Just about that time I was put on a diet of Grape- Nuts predigested food. Civiously enough it quickly began to build me up, appetite returned and in IS days 1 gained fi lbs. That started my re­ turn to health and really savod mj life. "A physician Is naturally prejudiced against writing such a letter, but In this case I am willing to declare it from the housetops that the multi­ plied thousands who are now suffering as I did can find relief and health as easily and promptly by Grape-Nuts. If they only knew what to do. Sincerely and Fraternally yours." Name of this prominent physician furnished hy Fos- tum Co., Battle Creek, Mich. Look in each package for a oopy of the famous little book, "Tho Road to WoUviUe."

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