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-Sj'-rf** *!-•• •*>-. . -4^' T't »v * < ** ^jr V'J' • '̂V"'S. VV-, 1 J' i-*rt "If tH -J "s,..r--^ •T' tif; r Lt:- * i • • ... A. ,J -A' * 5,1 ^•Kfi ^ r-\' . •». , .tV' -'«-. •**».,!.- , B,' ;-;3 Mti ;tv - McHENRY, ILLINOIS, THURSDAY, JANUARY ia, 1905. lUMBER 29 i b, , ,H , <i.*s^.*-fi. » ,L' . si ' *5 * . 1 •*> * I* ' * Tn K *•' , ' • "VOLUME XXX. >srWj*' _!*•" 1 ,i V X,r.:.XV £V^<*c*"v' /{i"0 '-'vV i '4, </* «** * l&i £-j._ ~v *;.v V f- 4 ^ '{*< ."jviViwK ^ ;..j rf* • _ ^ ^ {" L# ; ' * *>>' 2 i ? .- . ,,*1* ••> .jV^' V' -"£U% T I • .-•V f •» ",$rCr f «t < <t 4 I 1 4 4 $ £ * i 3 3 3 3 4 4 £ For a Limited Time Only, we offer The PLAIN DEALER and CHICAGO DAILY ^RONSQL ̂ ope ': '.»: . -•'l"^'4. "-• "' ^ Year for • - THts offer tsmade under con- ditions that both Papers MUST BE PAID FOR •\ ONE YEAR IN ADVANCE^ t t i t gives you the News of the . * WORLD ' very riornfng, while we keep you posted on LOCAL • :i . DOI 4GSfc v, " Subscribe Now 3 3 3 3 PLAINDEAL HR - $1.50 ' ' - ^ t.f $4.00 'CHj^NIQjLp^;:.,,? Both f tr $3. t t t t * t t t » t •> €* t t r «• > * »?"• 31 Professional, Society V» a.nd Bvisinesss Cards DAVII> G. WELLS, M. D. PHYSICIAN. SUROEON AND OCULIST *" Offloo aud residence corner Elia ui( Green streets. McHenry. FEGERS& FEGEB8 P]HX?%^NS A£D §UBGEONS, MeHeory, *lr Hl> OfBce at Residence, corner CkmrtMic! Elm streets. Telephone 333. P. c. ROSS. I), i). s. Office oyer i'et^sefcs Brwg-i>tAr^i: < • AH. WORK PERTAINING TO MODERN DENTISTRY - Officii Teiephonc 2;i:;'-Residence 802. , Nitrous Ox id Gat> lor Extructing * Hours «:r -- SITNDAY WORK 1.4b, m. to 5:00 p. ni. BY AJPPOINTM ENT ORtY I>R. R. G. Cl i AM BERLIN : . DKNT1RT. Office and Residence over Bealey'ft 'Draqf Stoi*. hours: 8:00 to 5:30. WBftT McllBNHY.'Itl,, ARTHUR B&EMkEjSf, M. D. PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON (Dentscher Ant.) Spring drove, Illinois. Geo. Meyers Ueneral Teaming of all kinds. Excavating and Grading. flcHENRY - - - - - ILLINOIS Telephone No. 293. , SIMON STOFFE3L Insurance Agent for all classes of property in the best Companies, West McHenry, Illinois McHENBY COUNTY ABSTRACT COMPANY. OFFICE with American National Bank Woodstock, 111. Abstracts of title and con veyancing. Money to loan on real estate lu sums of $500 to Ho,000, time and payments suit uorrower. - » FRANK BUHR PRACTICAL PAINTER AND PAPER HANGER CARRIAGE PAINTING,*5.00 fflflUPWARD House and Sign Painting aud all Interior Dec­ orating. Residence north town line one block west of river. Telephone No. 264. MCHENRY, - - - ILLINOIS R. H. OWEN Pianos for sale and rent. Tuning and repair ing at reasonable prices. First class Work only. McHENBY, ILLINOIS LAMBERT Q. SENG BUFFET PARCELS CHECKED FREE 92 Fifth Ave., Chicago, Illinois. Tel. Main 1714, Hau . H E C o y c UNO CUKE rW LUUGB ££ * i ___ /tCMSUMPTION Pries FORI 0UGHS and 50c & $1.00 V'OLDS Free Trial. Surest a na Quickest Cur© for all Til AO AX and LUNG TROUB­ LES, or M0N3Y BACK. »nwy:5s*jw-.«Biii«iaiM i BIB A rvnler. •t an examination in an Engltsb school the teacher was so pleased with his class that he said they could ask him any question they liked. Some were usked and replied to. See­ ing one little fellow In deep thought, the teacher asked hirii for a question. The boy answered, with a grave face: "P-please, sir, if you was in a soft mud heap up to your neck and I was to throw a brick at your head, would, you duck?"' „ The answer is not recorded. Quite Different. Mother--You've been sitting in the Conservatory all this time, and with young Charlie Brown! Am J never to Instill a sense of decency in you? Daughter--'Twas Lord Copperbulge I was with, mamma, dear. Mother--Oh, "that's a different matter. Girls will be 8te§»l K«r m Ralnr p«r< SfirtftJ (newly married)--%dti't you think we had better lay aside some­ thing for a rainy day? Young Wife- Charley, dear, I am so glad you said that. While I was out shopping this morning I bought two lovely silk um­ brellas, one for you and oue for fi^v / ' Aa the Guide ( nderMood It. A party of hunters in the wilds of North Carolina, wishing to cross the lake u]M)n tiie banks of which they were encamped, made the necessary preparations. Then they asked the guide if be could row. « "Ro'?" lie queried in answer. "Ro'!- No, I reck'n not. Reek'n I never tried it- Under these circumstances the party made arrangements to do the rowing themselves, and were consequently as­ tonished when the guide, stepping Into the boat, seated himself at the oars and prepared to be the motive power. *'Wl»y," exclaimed one of the party, *1 thought you said you couldn't row?" The guide was plainly' puzzled and could be heard to repeat to himself sev­ eral times' "Ro"! Ro'!" "I reck'n'd you all meant ro' like a lion. I can't do that But pull an o\ why, I've done that all my life. I •horely can pull ah o'."--Louisville .OwKi^Hloturnal. 'irkree Kind* of IKeau Here is a classification of men ex­ pounded by a spinster in an article, "The Truth About Man." "Men as a whole," she says, "may be roughly di­ vided into three distinct species--the bold, the shy and the tough." The first class includes "those self assured males" who fall in and out of love with every other woman they meet; the second class is made up of "the world's good fellows who have a great reference for all women and silently adore one for life without telling her so," and the third species "is concerned only with getting on and making mon­ ey, is absolutely indifferent to women and marries only as a matter of expe­ diency. The first of these we unhes­ itatingly condemn and find irresistible; the second we admire profoundly, praise without stint and ignore utterly; the third we dislike, despise and-mar- . . Thackeray** "Strike" For a "Raise." I hereby give notice that I shall strike for wages {be wrote to the proprietors Of Eraser's Magazine). You pay more to others, I find, than to me, and so I intend to make some fresh conditions about Yellowplush. I shall write no more of that gentleman's remarks ex­ cept at the rate of 12 guineas a sheet and with a drawing for such number in which his story appears--the draw­ ing 2 guineas. Pray do hot be angry at this decision on my part. It is sim­ ply a bargain which it is my duty to make. Bad as he is, Mr. Yellowplush la the most popular contributor to your magazine and ought to be paid accord­ ingly. If he does not deserve more than the monthly nurse or the Blue Friars I am a Dutchman.--James Grant Wilson's "Thackeray." Trouble With the Napery, "Linen kings" can make trouble easi­ ly for-the housewife with their three jointed miscroscopes for determining the number of threads to the inch in any article of table linen. One visited a friend the other night and after din­ ner exhibited a handkerchief worth at wholesale $1.50 apiece. It was very beautiful under the microscope. The hostess then looked upon a napkin and afterward upon a tablecloth. Now, she thought up to that moment her napery was the finest in the block, and the revelation of the wide meshes caused the most bitter disappointment Ever since her misery has been complete. When "linen kings" go but socially they had better leave their microscopes •trJhome.--New York Press. Btadict and Bla Pip*. Cromwell's Ironsides were smokem, and large numbers of pipes have b^ea dug up from the sites of William IH.'a camps. The wars of the eighteenth century found tobacco esteemed in all armies, and Wellington was the only general who objected to it Even he was moved to admiration by the un­ conscious heroism of Blucher's pipe servant at Waterloo. Everywhere he went Blucher was attended by Chris­ tian Henneman, a hussar, carrying clay pipes and tobacco for the gener­ al's refreshment. As his share Of the fight began at Waterloo, Blucher sat his chargfer gravely puffing away. He had reached out his hand to take a re­ filled pipe when a cannon ball plowed up the ground before him. He ex­ claimed: "Get a fresh pipe for me! I'm going to drive those rascally Frenchmen back!" It was evening be­ fore he returned, riding with Welling­ ton over the stricken field. Where he had left him Blucher found Henne­ man, wounded and bleeding, but with the pipe ready according to orders. "You have been admiring my highland- ers," said Wellington, "but what shall I say of this brave man?" "Well, your highlanders had no tobacco to inspire them," replied Blucher.--London Stand­ ard. JnTa'i Boiling Lalce off Vti. Pne of the greatest natural wonders in Java, "the fire island," a large lake of boiling mud, is situated almost in the center of the plains of Grobogana, fifty "paals" to the northeast of Solo, It is almost two miles in circumfer­ ence, and in the center immense col­ umns of soft hot mud may be seen continually rising and falling like great black timbers thrust forth and then suddenly withdrawn by a giant's hands. Besides the phenomenon of the columns there are two gigantic bubbles near the western edge which fill up like huge balloons and explode on an average three times per minute. The Moon's Mlaalom. Some partisans of final causes have imagined that the moon waS given to the earth to afford it light during the night but in this case nature would not have attained the end proposed, since we are often deprived at the same time of the light of both sun and moon. To have accomplished this end it would have been sufficient to have placed the moon at first in opposition to the sun and in the plane of the elliptic at a distance from the earth equal to the one hundredth part of the distance of the earth from the sun and to have impressed on the earth and moon parallel velocities proportional to their distances from the sun. In this case the moon, being constantly in op­ position to the sun, would have de­ scribed round It an ellipse similar to that of the earth. These two bodies would then constantly succeed each other, and, as at this distance the moon could not be eclipsed, its light would always replace that of tbe aaarrLf• place, The I>«»prave«I Camel. " **Any ordinary horse on the street might well feel insulted at being named in the same class as a domestic ani­ mal with that four legged impassive vehicle, the camel," writes a traveler. "Fidelity in a camel does not exist. An artist might as well depict a devoted crocodile fondling a lost child as a faithful dromedary standing over the corpse of its fallen master. Lockwood Kipling touched the core of the matter when he avowed that a man might as reasonably lavish his affection on a baggage wagon. In short, the camel is an unredeemed boor, more brutish than a mule, less sensible of endearment than even of extremes of temperature and weather. Its virtues are of the body, Its great endurance compensating for a mental and moral depravity that must be labeled nothing short of amazing." - • Troat That Are Mot Tront. Dr. Theodore Gill of the Smithsonian institution in calling attention to the misnaming of our native fish by early settlers instanced among' others the trout The pilgrims, finding in New England streams a fish that reminded them of the trout of England, gave it the same name, although Izaak Wal­ ton would have told them that it was not a trout but a char. In Maine land­ locked sain: on and in certain lakes an­ other salmonid fish were also called trout In the south the name trout was given to black bass. In California a peculiar fish was named trout, appar­ ently for no other reason than its pos­ session of spots. The Gila river troat Is not a trout at all. Killed by Imaffinatioa. A workman on the Siberian railway was accidentally locked into a refrig­ erator car and was afterward found dead. Imagining that he was being slowly frozen to death, he had record­ ed his sufferings with a piece of chalk on the floor. The refrigerating appara­ tus, however, w$s out of order, and the temperature In the car had not fallen below 50 degrees F. throughout the journey. The Better Way. "Positively the worst struggle I ever had in the water," said a young man who had been at sea, "was one night trying to save a man with a wooden leg." "Man," said an old Scotchman" who was quietly listening, "If ye had got a bit of rope ye' could,liae saved the man quicker wl' it than ye could dae wi' ten Wldden legs." ' Conspirators. It will surprise many to know that Washington Irving was a confessed orchard thief. Once, while picking up an apple in his own orchard, be was accosted by an urchin of the neighbor­ hood, who, not recognizing him as the proprietor, offered to show him a tree where he could get some better apples than those. "But," said the boy, "we must not let the old man see us." "I went with him," said Irving, "and we stole about a dozen or two of my own apples and then went shares.** Mrs. think! public know Hla Public Speech. , . - Llttlewit (proudly)--Only just Charles has gone to address a gathering: Friend--I didn't he vpas a speech maker. Mrs. Littlewit--Nor I, but he's been called upon to make a statement befeff* meeting of bis creditor*. * Gave the Ocean It# Name. . «And is that the ocean out there?" asked the visitor from the interior who had just arrived at Atlantic City. "Yes, the Atlantic ocean," replied the native proudly; "named after our city, you know."--Philadelphia Press. She Can, That'a a Fact. Boyce Why does a woijian give so much attention to dress? Is it beds use she wants to attract men or because she desires to otitshine her sister wom­ en? Mrs. Boyce--Cant a woman dp two things at once?--Smart Set Thaak Von. "Thanks" is a miserable expression commonly used by persons who have not had the advantages of good breed­ ing. Every favor received and civility shown deserves to be recognized, and the smallest acknowledgment the re­ cipient can make is to say or write, "Thank you." The vulgarity of "Thanks" is on a par with thejpostal card correspondence. l|> »$> $1 l|l l|l >$ *$>!$» >|* »|l $1 l|l ffjl l|l <|l l|| |$| ijfo (ft Q $ * A niture! I At our store can be found, at all times. the most coniplete Tine of Furniture to ^ be found jti the Eoisqty. Besides tHe jit ^afgeand.complete liite we constant!) have on hand,^ we are always prepared x to get, on very short notice, any ar- 2 tide wanted which we do not carry in stock. Our prices are always in the' reach of everyone to which we contrib- it ute our success. All calls iff the Under­ taking line are promptly attended to. | McHENRY, f ILLINOIS. This cold #ittf|r weather us order to keep from freezing. We are extensive dealers in Coal and can supply you with any kind or any amount. We also handle Xime, Cement,, Fence Wire, Tile, Building Paper, Lumber, Sash; Blinds, Doors, Etc. Don't forget that we always carfy a complete line of Feed. Give usy our-order and get the best goods to be had. i . v ; . * j • Mistake*. When yoti make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your own mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.--Hugh White. Kind Words. A wyd of kindness is seldom spoken j In vain, while witty sayings are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a broken stream.--Prentice. Wilbur Lumber Cd., West McHenry, Illinois. ft To sunny California for the fewest dollars n Ali the Way. Take a Tourist Pullman ** You save on railroad audi sleeper tickets Many features of comfort Conducted tri-weekly • < •"? VCV r <if * : >! " i Chicago and Kansas City to Losp Angeles And 'Frisco. Ask J. M. McConnell, of A. T. & 8. F. Bf;, 109 Adams Street, Chicago. •• . Rye "On Every Tongue," Kentucky's most famous and best; the world's most best; the whiskey that has girdled the globe. ' * 1 » -S- K' 1 - t - s jig - lifpT . ? :A m m SOLD BY LEADING DEALERS. i * ; ^ " Jjl Distinction la Terms. Binks--Skinnem tells me he is going Into Cateheui's law office as a partuer. Jinks--Doesn't he mean as an accom- pUcef--Cincinnati Commercial Tcibun&i ' .1 - • q~"v. A Forecast. ' She--Dearest, we'll have a lot to con­ tend with when we are married. He (absently)--Yes; we'll have each other. --Milwaukee Wisconsin. He alone has energy who cannot bs deprived of it/--Laratae. ^ v, >• .. .>• • :vV-' Best for Business it's the perfect why it's the grtatest CHICAGO