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- * * * ' i * * ' f •' *>„ • PRIMA RETURN v^f«- 'W • •• r- •v4 s> (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) Ia her deck-chair, the last day of the voyage, Madame felt that Clo­ thilda watched her more intently than ever. Clothllde had been responsible for her hair and her gowns for ten years. It amused Madame--Clothilde's worriment concerning the acceptance Or non-acceptance of Croesus. For madame had been offered an honored position as a wife, and a home was hers for the accepting. Home! Had she ever had a home? She smiled. f Her first home had been in the States, some paltry rooms with a visionary mother and an idle father. She saw herself she had been then, a lean girl with hungry eyes and a determination to conquer. What she was now, the world knew--Italy with Its exuberance; England with its polite appreciatibn; Germany with its nod for the correct interpreter of its tone-Idols. And now she was going back to the beginning, to' America, where there was none to welcome her --she was going to the home of stran­ gers, the land of her birth. She opened the book on her lap. It was the score of "Tristan und Isolde." There were slips of paper marking the different parts of the score. She took out one of these papers; it was her answer to Croesus telling him that all should be as he wished. Ft had been written before she left Lon­ don, so why had it not been mailed, at the time? Even when he came to see her embark, and filled her state­ room with flowers, she had said noth­ ing about that unniailed letter, had given him no answer. She was wear­ ied of effusiveness, and it had seemed better to mail her answer to him when "they were 3,000 miles apart, have him run over to America, and take everything as a matter of course, and she should go into the new life without the indignity of ex­ citement And this scrap of newspaper beside Hi® letter? She had torn It from a London daily; it told of the destruc­ tion of the New York theater where She had first sung: " 'The organist saved the lives of a score of men, women and children in the fiery holocaust. When all the au­ dience were safe, he plunged once burning shell in order crrwji wDavid!" to rescue a portrait that hung on the corridor, the portrait of Madame Cor- nelli, who as Miss Suzanne Cornell opened the theater several years ago in a concert--'" Why had she saved this scrap of paper? She crumpled it in her hand, and filliped it toward the ship-rail. The first nightT in her native city had vouchsafed to it little of that re­ freshing slumber which had charac­ terized Madarne's rest on the vessel. "Clothilde," she said, "I must dispel a sensation that seized me when I read something in a paper a week be­ fore we left London. This is New York, the city where I was born; I will go see the places that were once well known to me when I was a poor struggling girl. That "will cure me. And I shall go alone. Not a wont, please." She caught up her letter to Croe­ sus that she might post it as she went along. She would cure her­ self of any hesitation regarding the posting of that letter. Then she went out in the glittering, busy street Why, it was the very street in which was the theater where she had sung in public for the first time years ago. She recollected the difficulty there had been for her to get permission to sing at the concert. He had managed it, though--David War­ rick had obtained the permission for her to Bing. He had been organist at Saint Gudulph's. His room was next the rooms of her father in the old house; he had coached her in the singing, and took her into his choir. Three months later her father's bnv ther, Uncle Dan, lent the thousand dollars she ; wanted, and she went abroad--at David Warrick's sugges­ tion. How it all came back to her--ail the little incidents of that past time, the time of her girlhood--as she went *iong the street. And there! That fenced-in pile had been the theater, burned three months ago. She stood and looked at it. She thought of the night when she sang there! What a difficulty there had arisen as to her getting a befitting costume in which to appear, and then the fear that no flowers would come over the footlights for her. But David Warrick knew a lady who would lend her a gown, and David Warrick had seen to it that a great bunch of roses was handed from the orchestra to her, which flowers must have cost him more than he could afford. Also, in the beginning, letters from home told her of many kindnesses--how he had nursed *j«r father in his last sickness; how he had comforted her mother, whose daughter was.|Mr away win­ ning a name. • ™ She went rapidly along the street There it was, a shop in the lower story of the building,, as of old. It had been a stationer's shop then; now it was a cheap millinery. She reached tor the waring plume on her hat, and tore It off. This in her hand, she opened the door of the millinery ship. A thin, pale woman was behind the counter. "Ah," said the woman, "the wind has lposened your feather. Let me have the hat; I will rearrange It in the next room. Be r.eated." But the customer continued to stand opposite a picture that hung on the wall back of the counter. All the present fell away from her--she was face to face with herself as she had been. What did it mean? What did It mean? "I have sewn it strongly."' It was the woman of the shop speak­ ing; she held out the < hat with the plume waving in it "Ah," she said, "you are admiring that picture? It is the portrait from the theater fire. It is Miss Cornell, now the celebrated prima donna. That is how the gentleman here was in­ jured. He saved the picture, but his^ eyes were terribly hurt The doctor now hopes that he will see again. He lived in this hoAe when Miss Cornell was his fellow-lodger. He lives here still--he has the room they say was Miss Cornell's. Oh, you have dropped your hat. I will pin it on for you; it is so difficult to put on a hat when you hate on a tight dress. Yes," the woman was going on, "he lives here still--he has been organist at Saint Gudulph's for years; He is there now for the first time since his accident My niece took him; he has to be led. I beg your pardon," for her customer had started for the door, "but I shall have to charge you a triflefor sewing In the feather." The customer may have placed some money on the counter, but she was not sure. She gained the street, and hurried on. She sped alohg, looking neither to the right of her, nor to the left And so she came upon the old-fashioned church. She knew the little door that led to the choir. She opened it, and got to the narrow winding stairs that crept up to the organ-loft. Her hand clenched, and she felt in it the letter she bad intended to post on her way. She mounted the stairs. When she was near the top of them she paused, hearing two voices--a man's and a woman's. The woman's voice was young and passionate. "If love is as you say it Is," said that, voice, "how is it that you never availed yourself of it? No, no, I do not mean that But I will do as you say; I will let alone all this foolish­ ness of the world calling for me that I may be great as a woman. I am loved by a good man, and I will marry him." "And now," said the voice of the man, "I will tell you why I never availed myself of what you say-- love." He hesitated a moment before going on; then he spoke. "1 cared deeply for some one when I was young. But the world called her. It jras right that she should go--but I-- 'Ah, if you love this man, and you feel assured that he loves you, think twice before you let him go out of your life. «And be sure of yourself, be sure of yourself; if love is greater than am­ bition--" "It is," cried the girl's voice, "it is. I will go to film now, this minute. If the world ha3 any praise for me, we will bear it together. I will come back for you in a little while." The woman on the stairs was jos­ tled as the girl came down--a pretty girl with bright eyes. But the girl paid little attention to her, running lightly down the stairs. The older woman looked after her. How long she stood there she did not know. Suddenly a(thin strain of music swept down to her. "Such weary days I waited and longed--" And then she saw him--surely not the stooped figure at the organ, the eyes bandaged, the fingers moving tremulously over the organ keys, but a man glorious in hopeful youth--as he had been years ago. "David!" His hands fell from the keys. He rose, crying out "Whose voico was that?" She wrenched in pieces the crumpled letter in her hand; she fell before him. "David, you have brought me back after all these years; you have brought me back. It was you, and you alone, I know that now. I have never loved since that old time; I have never been loved but by you--" She had his hands in hers, pressing them down upon her bowed head as she knelt before him, the young girl he had loved so long agt>, the woman whose heart awoke past all that the world had given and still might have in store for her. Bil| Simpson's Hired Man ly Maurice Smiley W" " Vfc'1 1 if VlijW'ifgillff Long Talks In London. Those who sometimes complain of the inadequate telephone facilities, of London doubtless do not realize that the metropolitan telephone's area is by far the largest city telephone area in the world, covering over 640 square miles, a space in which Paris, Berlin, Vienna, St. Petersburg, New York and Chicago could all be set out with room to spare. The difficulties and the cost of building and maintaining a uniform telephone system at uniform rates in such a vast area, especially without proper facilities for constructing un­ derground conduits for the wires--fa­ cilities which have always been re­ fused by the authorities though denied to no other electrical undertaking-- are not in the least appreciated by the average telephone loser/--London En­ gineer. If three different people had only known the same thing, those three different people would have pursued three separate--or similar--courses of action. If Bill Simpson, for Instance, had known that Dick Wright was the son and heir of the big banker in the city who held Bill's financial life In the hollow of his hands, he would not have made quite so much fun of the "tenderfoot" who had got a job on the ranch. Bill was not a psycholo­ gist, and he could not have appreci­ ated the motives which1 would lead a young man reared in th£ lap of lux­ ury (to coin an expression) to give up the wine suppers and the whirl of society and the automobile and come away out here into Colorado and work as a ranch hand for $40 a month and found, f I know why he did it but I am not at liberty to explain, further than to say that the young fellow had the right sort of stuff in him That's why he had come 'originally. He staged for this reason and one other. Mabel Harding was spending the summer at Estes Park, and Estes Park was only a mile from the ranch, and he had made himself useful on one or two oc­ casions. But I forgot the other two persons who would have acted differently if they had known who Bill Simpson's hired man was. Miss Harding herself would not have treated him quite so cavalierly, for all she was good nature and con­ sideration herself Perhaps she would not have experienced so many dis­ quieting qualms as she pothered the mystery of the man's attractiveness. She knew enough of the west to know that every fellow who wears schapps and a sombrero is not an un­ couth lout or a desperado. But the thought of becoming interested--or rather of continuing interested--In a common cowpuncher was a little too simple-for even so ardent a theoreti­ cal devotee of the simple life as Mabel Harding. Simplicity was all right; but that was a bit too Arcadian. And finally, Wilbur Jenkins would of all three have pursued a radically different course. If he had knoj^ihat Dick Wright wa3 the Richard Wright, the some time vice president of the Calumet club, from which Wilbur had been expelled for certain good and sufficient reasons, he would have either "vamoosed the ranch," in west­ ern parlance, or he would have treat­ ed Dick Wright with vastly more'con­ sideration. Of -course, Dick was too far beneath him to be jealous of him; but It isn't quite the part of discre­ tion, when you are a common black­ guard, to treat any man after quite so caddish a fashion as Wilbur treated the "fellow from the Simpson ranch," who had done the honors of the estab­ lishment on several occasions when parties from the park had stopped on their tours of the neighborhood. Dick was smiling to himself, as he cantered toward the park this partic­ ular morning, to think how surprised everybody concerned would be to know the truth of his identity. One word from him would squeeze Bill Simpson into bankruptcy. One word from him would show Wilbur Jenkins to Miss Harding in his true colors, and one word from him would cause Mi3s Harding herself either the great­ est happiness or the greatest distress of her life. The thought of speaking that word so far as Bill was con­ cerned was out of the question. The time had not yet come to speak it as to Wilbur, and whether it was ever spoken to Miss Harding depended upon whether she really loved him. Of one, thing he was determined, and that was that she should never marry Wilbur Jenkins, a common card sharp. The sharp ring of horses' hoofs in front caused him to pause, and as he saw Jenkins and an unknown com­ panion of rather sinister appearance he quietly drew aside to avoid meet­ ing them. As Jenkins and the stranger passed the spot where Wright was hidden by the scrub oaks Jenkins was saying: "If Jfou do the job well there's a hundred in it for you. This Harding girl is a romantic dunce, but I need her in my business. I've got to have her to keep off my uppers. Now she and I will be riding by the falls about nine o'clock to-night and you are to play the lone highwayman act. I shall try to persuade her to wear her diamonds. If she does you can make your get-away with them in spite of my best efforts to prevent you. If she doesn't wear them we will simply have a terrific battle in her defense and you can vanish, leaving me the hero of a romantic rescue Worn a fierce bandit She wants the simple life and I intend to try to give her a BIRD HUNT IN MIDOCEAN. (Copyright, by Daily Story Pub. Co.) * - touch of it Why, I believe she's half in love with--" Dick heard no more as the men spurred up their horses and disap­ peared over the hill. Now there is not the slightest con­ nection between an overdue freight train and the bungalow of an heiress in whom a common cowpuncher hap­ pens to be interested. But Dick brazenly made his way to Miss Hard­ ing's cottage. "You are going riding with Mr, Jen­ kins to-night?" he asked abruptly. Mis* Harding drew herself up haughtily. "No offense,** he hastily said. "Only let me suggest that diamonds are quite the proper thing to wear out here in the mountains. I want you to be convinced, Miss Harding, wi|h the evidence of your otyn eyes. I want you to promise me to wear your dia­ monds when you start; then when you get into the lonely country I want you to get afraid, take them off and carefully secrete them, giving to Mr. Jenkins a packet purporting to con-s tain your jewels. Will you do this and rely upon my assurance that I have the best of reasons for asking it?" Long before Dick had ̂ ceased speak­ ing Miss Harding had ceased to be haughty. She never fully trusted Jen­ kins, and had gone out with him largely for the reason that there were no men of her own station at the park to act as her escort She saw that Dick had some ulterior reason for his strange request and she had faith enough in him to believe that HAD TO LICK *80MEB0DYV Tea&her's Announcement ing to Trustees^ * ^ BV the laws of Maryland corporal punishment in the public schools of that stab? is forbidden. This pro­ hibition was much condemned by cer­ tain of the teachers with olef fashioned ideas, especially by a teacher in one of the schools on the eastern shore, some years ago. He was a strapping big fellow, and it was lucky for his pupils, who were rather a rough lot that they, were protected by the afore­ mentioned law. The teacher did the best he could, under the clrcumstandU, but, moral suasion proving of little avail, he finally laid his case before the board of trustees. "Gentlemen/* said he, after a recital of his trials, -"those boys must be licked." . < "You cant do thtt/* repjied the chairman.- "Then you must assist me In con­ trolling them." "That, sir," observed the chairman, testily, 'is what you irp employed to do." "In that case," continued the teach­ er, "you must allow me to lick them." "Corporal punishment is against the law," insisted the chairman. "Then, gentlemen/* concluded the RIGHT IN THEORY ONLY. v>' Good Argument, but It Fail#*, : .^#ure the Cigars. ^ / In a "Siiteenth street cigar store a young man put a nickel in a slot ma­ chine. It was one of those poker ma­ chines. He pressed the lever and In the "hand" that showed he had two queens. He lotted on the card of ex­ planation and raw one line that read: "Kings or better, two cigars." That was the lowest winning "hand." "Well, I win tWo cigars," he said to the proprietor. The latter looked at the machine. "Indeed you don't," he said. "You have only two queens." "Well," said the young man, "look here. Doesn't this say 'Kings or bet­ ter, two cigars?'" "It does, but you have two queens." "I was always taught," said the young man, '"that the women were better than the men. So queens aren't better than kings, eh?" The proprietor laughed, but he didn't hand over' the cigars.--Denver Post : , 8ome Desimplified Spelling. The colonel was simply lnfolonel. He said he vsjould be gould to traid on the rights of the whights. "No man," said the raidhot colonel in his diolonel diatribes, "whose blood mm w,u DIC pANAMA^M. his reason was an honorable one. Two horses were leisurely walking past the beautiful little falls that night when a masked figure suddenly sprang out into the road. "Halt!" he exclaimed, in a threaten­ ing voice, land the horses were reined up on the instant Then, with the seeming fury , of a madman the high­ wayman sprang at Miss Harding and apparently struck her a stunning blow with his revolver. "Pretend to fall to the ground In­ sensible," whispered Dick, hurriedly, and Miss Harding sank to the ground as Jenkins, with a tremendous show of bravery, sprang to the "rescue/' "What did you do that for, you fool?" he cried angrily, when he saw the girl on the ground. "Don't you know she might be badly hurt? Here are the diamonds she gave me to keep for her. Now you make yourself scarce while I scratch myself up a bit and pretend to have engaged in a terrible battle with you. I'll see you in Denver on Saturday. You know where." Wilbur Jenkins met with the sur* prise of his life at that moment. "You miserable cad!" exclaimed Dick, as he gave him the full foroe of his good right arm. "That will con­ vince anybody that you have been fighting a bobcat at the very least I thought if I gave you enough rope you would hang yourself but I didn't think you were quite such a cur. Now you make yourself scarce and if you ever show yourself In this part of the country again I'll break you in two!" "Who the devil are you, anyway?" snarled the fellow. "Oh, only Bill Simpson's hired man " replied Dick, coolly. "But the gjrl?" "The girl is quite able to take care of herself, Mr. Jenkins," said Mabel, quietly, rising to her feet. "Where is Tony?" asked Jenkins,> sullenly. "Oh, he's lariated out there In the scrub oaks," answered Dick careless­ ly. "You see, I got here a little while before he did." "The devil take the lot of you!" ex­ claimed Jenkin, as he mounted his horse and spurred away. That left only two--only two people who loved each other; two people out among the everlasting hills, under the white stars; two people who heard the music of the waters only as an echo of the melody that rang through their own hearts; two people whose story of happiness began when Mabel Harding became' the wife of Bill Simpson's hired man. JOHN B. MCDONALD. John B. McDonald of New York city is president of the construction com­ pany organized by W. J. Oliver to build the Panama canal. teacher, with considerable emphasis, "someone must be licked; and I want to say right here that the next time 1 have trouble with my boys I'm going to lick a trustee. As I have trouble about once a day, each one of you may expect, on the average, one lick­ ing per week. I reckon there's no law against that." Mounted House on Wheels. Gypsy Smith has written his auto­ biography. Among th« stories told ia one of his father, who married a woman not a gypsy, and feeling com­ pelled to provide a house for her in­ stead of a tent, had it mounted upon wheels, so that the family could still move about. Not Altogether New. A* Schenectady, K Y., man has in­ vented a motor car that is propelled £means of a clock. Some of the seat mtftor cart strike no# and a. Valuable Penguin Chased Over Decks and Recaptured, A penguin hunt during a winter storm in the mid-Atlantic was one of the odef experiences of R. E. Jones, who returned yesterday from a bird buying Jtrip abroad, says the Minneapo­ lis Journal. Commissioned to buy the stoc^ for the great aviaries at Big IstaAd park, Mr. Jones was returning with some 50 out of the 2,000 birds he had purchased at the various markets in England and on the continent. His traveling proteges were lashed in small crates on the upper deck in the lee of the smokestacks. One morning when the seas were running high and no passengers dared to venture upon the decks a crate con­ taining a penguin broke loose, crashed down to a lower deck and broke open Mr. Penguin promptly emerged from the debris and started on a tour of ex ploratlon. It happens that penguins are not available in the market every day, this specimen being one of two wliick Mr. Jones -bought on the London Christian Fortitude. As the vacant air we breathe Is full of germs of this world's life, so what seems the empty things of com­ mon life are full of potencies for life eternal. Our passing spites and wor­ ries may be sordid enough; but the thankfulness and patience which overcome them belong to a world which passeth not away.--Henry M. Gwatkin. ; --* Tons of Cigarette Paper. Over 200,000 pounds' welgtfl of paper Is used in this country yearly for the manufacture of cigarettes. docks of a sailor just in from Africa. Consequently he saw that heroic steps were to be taken at once if one of his rarest birds was to be saved. In im­ minent danger of being washed away by the big combers, he and a sailor chased the escaped prisoner over the sloping, slippery decks un|il the bird was again safely caged and away. To Make an Arc Lamp T*M§* An interesting suggestion was made by Prof. W. Duddell in the course of a lecture on "The Telephone and ita Workings." The lecturer introduced a number of experiments, indicating* how the vibration of air produces and, affects sound. By lantern slides ha showed the varying effects of music­ al sounds and the index of the hu man voice. One of the most inter­ esting experiments shown was that of telephoning along a stream of light The lecturer remarked that from the latest experiments carried out in Berlin, an arc lamp might be made capable of talking, though to what practical use this might be possible to apply could only at prt» ent be conjectured. Horrors of the Staircase. 4 * ' A Dublin landlord said: "It often' happens that when peasant girls coine into our service, directly from the wretched hovels in which they have been reared, in a wild part of the country, they are surprised and per­ plexed by all they see. The common­ est thingB to us are new and astonish-1 ing to their simple gaze. As the dwell­ ings of the Irish poor are never more than one story high, what -excites their perplexity, and often their fears more than anything else is, of course, a staircase. I have actually seen these girls creeping up and down, stairs on all fours in the utmost terror., One remained In the attic all day be­ fore she could summon courage to encounter the apparent horrors of coming down, and she at last came down backward, as if descending a ladder. They get accustomed to an elevator before they do to the stairs." finished. "Why has she stopped slum work?" "She has accomplished her object" "Relieved all the distress?" » "No; become engaged to the new preacher."--Houston Post is not mood can chose to weigh what I say and pronounce one word as absord as any he ever hord. One may oneder because one color is dolor than another that it is a sign of some­ thing less fign. O, ye who knoh the truth give tongue and longue to its proclaiming. Why do yo sy when sighs are not wighs? Let no pain or ache mache you quache. Though you may be lough, rise higher and in- spigher the sacred songs of justice to all. Who is whe that says the choir is a loir? His own lies show his sies; he cannot disguise his luise; his eyes despeyes those leyes and tell on him; one may buy a luy, but not the uy." And much more of the same sort from which- it may be inferred that having herred the colonel's werred. the whites still had some rites which were bound to be respected. And the blacks? Well, take an acks to them. Also the infernal cernal.--Judge. THIRTY YEARS HENCE V; % \ *•" •sihSZ PEW PICTURE OF FARM Llttfe OF FUTURE. < jtfy, irofgePy |one Away With by Lafc^ Saving Machines Operated by , Alcohol Made at Home Front ;• - Waste Products. . { Tricks of the Grogger. ' "The man Is a grogger," said the food Inspector. "He makes whisky out of old barrels. "Grogging is a recognized trade in some slums. You get hold of old whisky barrels wherein spirits have been maturing for years and you pour into these barrels boiling hot water and you wait a few days. "The result of your waiting is that the hot water turns to whisky. The wood of the old barrels, you see, is sb saturated with spirits that the hot wa­ ter draws out enough to make a strong grade of red eye." ® fch article in Appleton's Siapuiine Day Allen Willey thus pictures the farm of 20 or 30 years hence. y "We look in vain for the 'wood lot* That disappeared long ago to make way /for the more profitable field and orchard. The wood pile by fehe kitchen door and the big fireplace haVe like* wise passed away. Nor is there any ash heap anywhere about. To thtt farmer coal is too expensive, espe­ cially when he knows that he uses lets than 10 per cent of the heat it gener­ ates and that for every ton he buys he pays for 90 per cent waste. How about kerosene or coal oil or whatever you choose to tall it? 'What?is the use of paying freight from the oil refinery and helping the trust to make a profit when I can get something bet* ter for my purpose right at home.', "This reply may not convince, be­ cause as yet we have not had a chance to see for ourselves, but now we will start, beginning at the farmhouse. TJ»e reason why no smoke comes from the chimney is because the housewife Is getting dinner on a stove burning alco­ hol--merely a turn of a valve con­ trolling the supply and the contact bf the match flame, that's all. Here and there are lamps which, when lighted at dusk, give out such a brill­ iant yet even Illumination tha£ the ordinary gas jet is a mere glimmer in -contrast. Spirit furnishes the light} Over in the barn stands the familiar fanning mill for cleaning grain, but no one turnB the , crank that revolves •tts blades. The farmer simply throws pver the handle of an electric switch find the mill begins humming a merry tune in unison with the clicking of the teed cutter, which is also actuated hy the same invisible force. Nor does the farmer depend on the breeze to pump his water. The motor-driven pump keeps it flowing in a steady stream from the well into the tank on the roof of his home, where it Is ever ready to extinguish fires and lets jhim save on his insurance premiums. |n the orchard the press is squeezing the juice out of the apples without a touch of the hand. The hay press does its work mechanically with just a boy to feed it "If we happen to he on the plaee at butter-making time we see the cream separators and churns doing their duty independently of the houses wife, who only looks into the cream­ ery now and then to see how things lire gett}ng on. This farmer may have horses, mit not for field work, because he finds he can do much more with motor driven machinery at the,same expense. Even his plows and cultiva- ' tors are pulled by the traction engine with which he runs his harvester and, thrasher. Here the engine must com- ' municate its power directly to the farm mechanism; but if he desires he can operate the fanning mill, the sepa­ rator and the other appliances in the house and barn from one source of power, using the electric current which he can readily generate wttik his little alcohol engine. "Is this smokeless, ashless, coalese^; woodless agriculture such a Utopl^A scheme as it reads?" • In the course of his article, Mr; Willey goes on to show how practica­ ble the scheme is through the use of home-made alcohol made from waste farm products. This alcohol was re-^ cently released from its exhorbitant duty of 20 times its cost and pi very cheap. R ' . v $ - 2, V/ . ? \'fV y: rf ^ >i- ji « ^' j j /'• v 'j 'C-T > •f ~ • • I'- '> - w$ i / ' t'A f ' ! w,»L • ;' V "> \ -' • , • ' ? " 4 ' 'f v , ' & X y t \ A- - < '•, ^ ^ • V" H • '"'•vv*" :vf,v fXi, s-'r-l 'at V" • v WJ •- i P SjM J - . * ^ - THADDEUS KOSCVSZKO MEMORIAL riHIs Automatic Luncheon. A., young man told of a recent perlence in Boston. "I was walking up and down tlgf crooked streets of that old town look* Ing for a place to eat luncheon," said he, "I found an attractive looking res­ taurant and entered. Soon I waa perched on a stool at a counter, -1 looked over the menu card and or*. dered a beef sandwich, Iced tea and a' piece of cherry pie. The young wo­ man who took my order turned and pressed one of a number of pearl buttons on a board back of where she etood. In a moment a small door flew open disclosing a dumb waiter a*r rangement which carried my Baud* wich. A similar pressure of another' button and my iced tea was served in the same manner. Later the pie was served in the same automatic way. I handed the waiter a dollar bill. She dropped the currency in a slot, pressed a button and the auto* matic cash register dropped my ex­ act change in front of me. Everything about the service of that luncheon was automatic except the smile that^ the girl gave me and sometimes :!; have my suspicions about that" « \ f petting Round It, ^ I,1^,JF. A. Cook, the famous mou^r* talheer, said of mountain climbing, a dinner in Brooklyn: "Peaks that seem inaccessible mfft be climbed by turns and twists. Moun­ tain climfiing is a Question of getting round the bad places. Getting round your difficulty--that is the secret of good climbing. Lisit, the great musi­ cian, had the ability to get round things. Hence I am sure he'd have made a good mountaineer. Once, at a dinner, Liszt's hostess cried in a horrified voice that there were 13 ; table. • " 'Don't let that alarm you, madam,* said Liszt, with a reassuring smikfc. eat" for two.'" * * .v.; This Is the design selected for the monument at the national capital MAJORITY OF MEN ARE VAIN. A Hairdresser Asserts That Many of Them Wear Wigs. "Nearly every woman wears some other woman's hair," said the hair­ dresser, "but you might be surprised if you knew the number of men wiho wear wigs. Many a man's fine head of hair, the envy of his friends, came from the hair store, and is regularly curled and pressed there! Whisper it gently, but most men are even more vain of their appearance than are the frivolous women of the mo­ ment. They simply will not stand for a bald head, under 70, and have learned a lesson from their sisters. Often the same hairdresser makes the wig for papa and the 'switch* for mamma, and, if mamma can get the money for her new hair any the more easily out of papa for the fact that he is a devotee of the habit himself, who can blame her for encouraging htm In the guileless fad?** " • ̂ ,;£$•>. J,., MM& A 1-, • , ? i ^ t > /,< . ? * Lfc: Some folks never feel cheeffttl un> less they are dispensing bad news. , ,• , I, Dissertation on the Kisfu Bveryone knows the wonderful effect of kiting. A common smacik makes one's*yes flash and one's heart beat faster. A long, lingering, satisfy­ ing kiss has an effect ten times as powerful. It increases the pulae, raises the temperature and makes the blood flow through the system' in rich, red streams. Kissing is the one sure and infallible prophylactics A man who has been recently kissed is proof, not only against germs, bat also against all the big and little maii- Sters of the sea, the land and the air. Kissing makes a -man valiant, and bulletproof.--Exchange. it#-, v' Vl