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THE TBAIL OF THE AMERICAN MISSIONARY By WILLIAM T. ELLIS Is TrweHnc Around the World for tha Purpoa* i LURK OF THE EAST AWAITS AT CHEFQO JACK TAR Cnefoo, China.--Readers of war dispatches know this city mainly as the habitat of "the Chefoo liar," which is not without significance, since many of the most disreputable elements of American life are to be fdund here. A visitor pining for a Bight of his native colors will find them displayed by low dives whose very appearance indicates their char­ acter. These bear such names as "The Dewey," "The Stars and Stripes Forever Saloon," "The Old Kentucky Home," etc. Over one of these resorts there flies a larger American flag than that which floats above the consulate on the hill. The explanation for all this is sim­ ple. During the summer this beauti­ ful harbor is the resort of the Asiatic squadron, and from three to five thou- sort of man who will hold to the task even though others give It up. I have heard other missionaries criticise him for giving more time, during a portion of the year, to the sailors than he does to the heathen. -For my part, I am In clitted to consider the moral and spir­ itual welfare of an American young man quite as Important as that of a Chinese. As to the reported short­ comings of the Y. M. C. A. which I have quoted, I confess to have consid­ erable sympathy with the resident Americans; I cannot let the splendid efficiency of the Young Men's Chris­ tian sreaociation elsewhere blind me to the fact that it seems to have lament­ ably "fallen down" here; especially since the problem of the moral wel­ fare of white men in oriental port cities, both sailors and civilians, is, to THREE AMERICAN MISSIONARIES WHO HAVE BEEN IN CHINA MORE THAN FORTY YEARS. Left--Rev. Or. Hunter Corbett, Presbyterian (Now Moderator of the Presbyterian General Assembly). Right--Rev. Dr. C. W. Matees, Presbyterian. Educator and Translator.. Center--Rev. Dr. J. B. Hartwell, Southern Baptist. Famous for Evangelistic Itineration. !«> •and American young men. sailors and marines aboard the fleet, are here every year. The eatt does its worst by them; for the orient." especially when in league with the most vicious element in American life, is especially skillful in enmeshing western youth. The plight of these young men with shore leave, and no decent door open to them, was pitiable. Hard Knocks for the Y. M. C. A. Some of the resident Americans, in­ cluding Consul General Fowler, un­ dertook to open a clean, harmless re- Wrt for the men. One of the Presby­ terian missionaries, Rev. G. Corn well, devoted himself tirelessly to the pro­ ject, spending the greater part of every night down town in the rooms aad scarcely seeing his family for a week at a time. The result was that for several years a Christian club- room aad lodging-house were main­ tained successfully and made self- supporting. ' Later this enterprise was great­ ly enlarged and a much jnore spa­ cious clubhouse opened. The work had been given the name of a Young Men's Christian association, although previously receiving no rec­ ognition or support from the general organization bearing that name. Last summer, though, three months of the time of an association secretary and the promise of $1,000 was secured from the Internationa) Y. M. C. A. com­ mittee. This year, for various rea­ sons, the work was not the success of past seasons. Right here I encountered bitter crit­ icism from resident American busi­ ness men of the Y. M. C. A. They say ^hat until dragged into a partial sup­ port of the work, the association had paid no attention whatever to the American sailors at Chefoo, These my way of thinking, one of the most important phases of the entire mis­ sionary situation. White Schoolboys In a Yellow City. Another indirect but grave and ever- present missionary prdblem, to which even missionary workers give little thought, is that of the children of the men. and women on the field. The fa­ mous China Inland Mission school at Chefoo makes the topic pertinent here. It never occurs to an Anglo-Saxon at home that a white child cannot well be reared with yellow children. His first thought would doubtless be. like my own, that it is rather funny to see, as I have seen, a missionary's son with a yellow playmate perched on a temple drum, beating irin honor of a heathen festival, while each munched a beancake that had been bought from a street vender. Second thought, though, reminds one that this white boy, who, like most missionary children, speaks the tongue of the native more freely than he does that of his parents, is hearing from his playmate many things which it is not considered healthful for an Anglo-Saxon to know. Alongside of the average white child in heathen lands, in the matter of knowledge of what children should not say or know, the New York street gamin is a Little Lord Fauntleroy. The white race, comparatively speaking, has not learned the alphabet of evil speaking. It is not seemly that American and British children should be trained in this school. A short time ago, in a refined American home in Korea. I heard a sweet little girl of six use a native wcrd which doubled up the servants with laughter. She does not know its meaning; neither will any­ body translate it to her parents; but it Is doubtless of inexpressible vile- The Chinf Inland Mission School for Missionaries' Children, Chefoo. boys, most of them from Christian homes, some of them the sons of clergymen, were permitted to go to the dogs by hundreds without the slightest interest or solicitude being manifested by the association. Yet the latter has - an imposing depart­ ment, to which the public contributes liberally, called the naval branch. What is it doing, these men scornfully •®k, when It can neglect entirely the Wien of the second largest American a consequence, they say, of the association's attitude, the Americans |pi Chefoo. some of whom are not mem­ bers of any church and had supported •' the work from natrlotic and humanl- • tarlan motives, declare that they will no longer give their time and money (jj to it, since the Christian organization J* which avowedly exists for this pur­ pose refuses to take on the work. / ' Missionary Cornwell. however. Is the To tneet the peculiar conditions of the missionary children, the China In­ land mission has established at Che­ foo a school which, in equipment and efficiency, ranks as the best school in China and Japan. Its teachers are all missionaries of the China inland mission, yet its certificate admits boys into the English universities. It is patronized by missionaries of all bod­ ies throughout the far east, and there are 94 sons of missionaries now en­ rolled, preparing for college, and 63 daughters of missionaries. The stu dents are required to leave at the age of 16 years. The preparatory depar ment has 57 children under nine years and over five. This indicates the peculiar circum­ stances of the missionary's lot Most of the China inland missionaries dwell in native houses, in small interior cities, towns and villages, where there are no other foreigners. For the sake of the health of the children, it is nec­ essary to send them away at this early age. Members of this mission do not have to pay for the instruction or maintenance of thei:- children at Che­ foo. The latter place is considered a health resort, and the China inland mission sanitarium is situated here. Hither the missionaries come for their summer vacation, in order to be with their children. The* school has only one month of vacation in hot weather; and it begins its day's routine with a "morning swim" at 5:30. Despite the rigid school regulations, which, for example, prevent the stu­ dents from speaking to the Chinese, the youngsters have a good time. Their long vacation, of two months, oc­ curs in midwinter, when, presumably, the germs are frozen up, and they may live in Chinese cities with the mini­ mum of danger to health. This school, it may be added, is only one evidence of the completeness of the China In­ land Mission organization; it looks after its more than 800 missionaries with a comprehensiveness and pa­ ternalism such as I have found in no other mission. A Group of Famous Veterans. The present official bead of the Pres­ byterian church in the United States of America is still a resident of Che­ foo! At the general assembly held in Des Moines, last May, Rev. Dr. Hunter Corbett, veteran missionary who has been in China for more than 40 years, was elected moderator, and he is now visiting the churchlw throughout the United States. He will return to China in March. Although he has re­ ceived the highest honor within the gift of his denomination, Dr. Corbett will resume his work of preaching here in a street chapel, in connection with which a museum is maintained, in order to attract the natives. Dr. Corbett also does a great deal of coun­ try work. Another veteran missionary at Che­ foo is Rev. Dr. J. B. Hartwell, of the Southern Baptist mission, which de­ nomination maintains work here. Dr. Hartwell has, in nearly half a century of service, mode a name 'for him­ self as an indefatigable itinerant evangelist, going about through the country, living in inns, traveling by mule, and preaching wherever he could make an opportunity. A third man famous throughout missionary circles everywhere, as here, is Rev. Dr. Calvin W. Mateer, a Presbyterian, whose work has been along educational and literary lines. His translations are a permanent con­ tribution to Chinese literature. He still, like the two associates just men­ tioned, Is strong and busy. There is scarcely any name better known in Chinese missionary annals than that of the late Rev. Dr. J. Liv­ ingston Nevius, eminent as a preach­ er, author and educator. Dr. Nevius' versatile activities include the im­ portation of many fruits, which he instructed the natives how to grow and graft. Now these are an important commodity throughout northern China, and foreigners say that they are In­ debted for the presence of fruits to Dr. Nevius and other missionaries. Dr. Nevius is buried in the American cemetery, near the Preabyterlan com­ pound. Mrs. Nevius, the wife of Dr. Nevius, is still in active service of the Presbyterian board here, conducting two day schools of 30 pupils each, be­ sides doing considerable literary work. (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) Identifying the Twins. There were once two fellows in our town that were twin brothers. They looked so much alike that their most intimate friends could not tell them apart. Lem hatf no teeth and Dave had. Still they looked precisely alike just the same. The only way you could cell them apart was to stick your fin­ ger in Lem's mouth, and if he bit you it was Dave.--Judge's Library. ness. Not to speak of such moral bacteria--and to overlook entirely the material germs in that beancake. for the orient is the home of gold-medal germs--it Is found by missionary par­ ents tmwise to rear children in the east, because they fail to get the Anglo-Saxon viewpoint atmosphere, bent of mind, or whatever else you may call It. It is the unanimous opin­ ion of all while people out here, what­ ever their calling, that boys and girls must go home to school by the time they have reached the age of 13 or 14. or earlier. Herein lies the hardship of missionary life. People regard mis­ sionaries as heroes ana martyrs for undergoing difficulties which scarcely exist at all, for of physical hardships the missionary has few. The separa­ tion of families is the one heavy trial. «MP«0ple «Wili inslat OQ Paying us," said one missionary, "let them pity us for the right things." Advertising In Japan. Japan as an advertiser has taken some- billboard ide^s from America. Worshipers at Buddhist temples in­ variably wash their hands In a foun­ tain at the entrance before making their applications. Formerly the priests hung towels there. Now the merchants of Tokyo and other cities furnish the temples with free towels, reserving the privilege of printing their advertisements on them. Devices of Defense. What could be more perfect de­ fense than the device of the moor­ hen? She sinks herself in the water beneath an overhanging root or bank, leaving only her bill in sight. And that looks like a fallen leaf. You may stand within six feet of her and she will not move, so sure is she that her fuse will succeed.--London Lvening Standard. Over In the vacant lot bae mle Jones' home the Mudlarks and the Terrors were engaged in a baseball duel to the death. It was the last half of the eighth liming. The score stood five to four in favqy of the. Mudlarks. Jimmie Jones, the best pitcher of them all, was in the box for the Mudlarks, and the way he sped them through was working havoc with the hoperf of the Terrors. The Terrors were at bat. A man parsed to first, an error, and they had a runner at third. Jimmie Jones set­ tled down to pitch, and struck the next two batters out. A run would tie the score. Grimly the Mudlarks settled to the task of shutting out the Terrors. Tense excitement reigned. Jimmie Jones stood, serene and strong as an adamant wall, and the best batter of the Terrors approached the batter's box. A Mudlark rooter's thin and strained voice arose: "Tree twisters and a fan- out, Jimmie! De boys are all wld you!" Deliberately Jimmie Jones twirled the ball fn his fingers preparatory to speeding through a deceptive shoot. The base-runner at third danced for­ ward and back again, ready to take desperate chances to tie the score. Seldom had so critical a stage been reached on the field. Stilly Jimmie stood, twirling the ball. The'hopes of the Mudlarks rested with him. At length Jimmie Jones gave & final twirl to the ball, swung his arm about like a windmill, and prepared to send the whizzing sphere across the plate. But a sound broke the stillness. Across the back fence that skirted the field a woman's voice came clear, shrill, not to be denied: "Jimmie Jones, you come home and rock your little brother to sleep this minute!" Slowly.the tense muscles of Jimmie Jones relaxed. The ball stopped in midair. The great arm of the Mud­ larks' star pitcher dropped as if par­ alyzed. A look of great pain catme upon his face and his fingers grew nerveless and limp. "Never mind her, Jimmie," Bhouted the Mudlark rooter. "Finish out de game." But Jimmie Jones was undone. He put his suspenders back on his shoul­ ders, passed the ball to the umpire, and with his propd head bowed made his way to where his coat lay in a pile. "Youse fellers don't know me mud- der," was all he said. "Git anudder pitcher." He walked ^off the field, leaped the back fence and waa lost to view, while the Terror batsman drove a three- bagger and the cheers of the Terrors apprised Jimmie of the full force of the tragedy. A FLEET OF BOATS WHICH NEVER FIRES A GUN. Mission Which One Hundred and Twenty-Two of Uncle Sam's Ships Perform. For year* the %nlted States has been climbing-up as a naval power, Ensign of the Lighthouse Fleet. and now is credited as standing sec­ ond in the list of the nations whose see-fighting strength places them in house establishment are, of course, the lightships, which are moored at various points dangerous to naviga­ tion along the ocean coast. But there are scores of other vessels, like the steam tenders, which are employed in delivering to the keepers of the lights such supplies of food, fuel and cloth­ ing as they need, and the smaller craft that the keepers, their families and employs use.. Lightsnips of the first class--93 in number, including those now building --'are fine seagoing vessels averaging 350 tons measurement, that are pro­ vided with lights, bells and fog whis­ tles. Smaller lightships are main­ tained on the lakes and rivers. The oceangoing lightships cost in the neighborhood of $80,000 each; those in use on the lakes and rivers a little less. Of the vessels on the Atlantic coast the older and smaller wooden ships are stationed in the bays, gulfs, sounds and similar sheltered waters. •Some of these, obsolescent as they are, cosj the government as much as $50,000 each. The latest improved the forefront of the world powers, rad ! ®°del8. st«e< T1>3 "^t- ship at Sandy Hook has a revolving lens light, the first ever used on Oj lightship in this or any other coun-' try. Another lightship', at Cornfield Blissful Ignorance. The sweet, youthful, hot weather maiden, fresh from alma mater, was earnestly engaged in reviewing with her hero the errors of omission and commission in the works of standard authors, when she impulsively gave vent to her feelings after the manner here set forth: "No, I can't say that I favor either the George Sand or the George Eliot writings. As a rule they are too se­ vere or greatly involved. Neither of those men seemed to grasp the reali­ zation of the graceful virtue of mod­ esty. Each appears to lack tfae saving trait of retiring masculinity." Her amazed escort now deemed it proper to analyze after this fashion: "I suppose you have read Mary Ann Evans' contributions?" Reply: "I don't remember ever having perused more interesting stories than hers." "How about the books of Mme. Amantine Lucile Aurore-Dupin?" per­ sisted the astonished partner. The graduate rejoinder: "I think the sentiment expressed in her novels is just sublime." Curtain. Eagle Kite Fooled Kingfishers. Seven boys entered their miniature airships for the annual kite-flying con­ test, open to children of the public and parochial schools, which took place the other afternoon in Genessee Valley park. Interest was lent to the contest by an odd incident, showing that the birds of the air may be fooled by the cleverness of man. Aiing Brown had a kite made in imitation of an Amer­ ican eagle, and when It spread its wings to the breeze and rode away into the air it looked like a real "king of the air." Indeed, so perfect was the imita­ tion that as the beautiful kite soared over one of the trees in the park in rising, two Targe kingfishers saw the strange fowl, and, uttering their shrill cry of battle, left the tree and follow­ ed the kite high into the air. They wheeled and circled around their new enemy, but such was their awe of the majestic bird they did not venture to push hostilities to the actual point of contact." This eagle kite took the first prize.--Rochester Herald. Saved Wounded Pigeon. The archdeacon of London, in an address on the growth of what he called the "instinct of rescue," toid of something he had done recently that had given him great pleasure. Coming out of the house of^commons one day, he noticed a pigeon that had been run over lying in the road. He called the attention of a police constable to the little heap of crippled feathers, and asked what were best to be done. "Best to kill it," said the constable. "But I couldn't do that," said the archdeacon. Picking up the bird, he put it inside his coat and took it home. He managed to set the broken bone of the leg, and after tending the patient tenderly for two months, had the pleasure of seeing it restored to its former condition and fly joyously away to rejoin its comrades on the roof of the house of common. Not as Polite as the Neighbor*. Mrs. Nexdore--Prof. Adagio called at our house yesterday and ipy daugh­ ter played the piano for him. > He Just raved over her playing. Mrs. Peprey--How rude! Why couldn't he conceal hi* feelings the way the rest oC aa do?--PWiadaJphi* Press. 'V-.' nearly every American is familiar with the long list of names of the warships, together with their fighting equipment, but probably there are but few who know that Uncle Sam main­ tains another navy which boasts of no engines of death. In all the 122 ships in commission under its flag there is not a single cannon, not a torpedo; not a machine gun or rifle to deal death to an enemy. The ships are built without turrets, powder maga­ zines or lighting tops, and the sheath­ ing of steel upon their hulls is so thin that a bullet from a boy's cat rifle could almost bore through" the wood underneath. But weak as it is no bullying pirate would be desper­ ate enough to give battle to its sdil- ors; no enemy of the Stars and Stripes will ever sink its ships. It is, above all others, the navy of peace, for it is the lighthouse navy, and its work is for all mankind. Without it the fighting navies of the world when near shore could never turn a pro­ peller after dark, the commerce of the nation would be crippled if not an­ nihilated, and passenger steamers, mail boats and pleasure craft would be at the mercy of the waves and reefs as soon as the jsun was obscured In the heavens by the .fall of night or the swoop of storm. ' Without its navy the warning beacons maintained by the lighthouse board would go out on a thousand dangerous coasts and treacherous lakes and river shores. Navigation would be standing stilt part of the time, and human knowl­ edge would shrink and shrivel to the proportions that measured it before the peoples of the earth were able to visit one another across the seas that separate their homes. The principal ships of the light- Point, Long Island, was the first elec- Lfghthouse Tender Hyacinth on Lake • Michigan. trie lighted vessel of its kind to be built anywhere. The Sandy Hook lightship costs about $9,000 a year to maintain. Owing to its immense con­ sumption of fuel, the Cornfield1 Point ship costs more than $1,000 a year to keep running. The lights of one of these ships will burn more than 1,000 gallons of oil a year. To keep the f5g whistle of a lightship sounding its warning requires the expenditure of a ton of coal a day, so one can im­ agine that to maintain this navy of peace is in its way a luxurious neces­ sity that only a nation with an ample pocketbook could afford. This story is well In keeping with the spirit of the age, says the New York Tribune. A Bronx man tells' it about his little boy. The neighbor's young hopeful was very 111, and Willie and the other youngsters in the block had been asked not to make any noise In the streets. The neighbor's bell rang one day and she opened it to find Willie standing bashfully on her front steps. "How la he to-day?" ha lnqulredtn a shy whisper. "He's better, thank you, dear, "ird what a thoughtful child you are to come and ask." Willie stood a moment on one foot and then burst forth again, 'Tm orful sorry Jimmy's sick." The mother was profoundly touched. She could find no further word* to say, but simply kissed him. Made still bolder by the caresB, Willie began to back down the steps, repeating at In­ tervals his sorrow for his playmate's illness. At the bottom step he halted aild looked up. "If Jimmy should die," he asked, "kin I have his drum?" FOR 8ELFISH ENDS. THE OLD BRIDG ONE IMMORTALIZED BY LONG­ FELLOW REPLACED BY NEW. ' Maaalve Granite Structure at Cam* bridge Which Take* the Plac* of One on Which the Poet Stood at Midnight. Could the spirit of Longfellow re­ turn it perhaps would be disquieted by the disappearance of the old bridge where the poet loved to linger in the still hours of the night and watch the ebb and flow of the tide and listen to the rippling of the waters, for the old structure whfch was immortalized in the poem has given place to a modern structure of massive granite which has just been dedicated by the people of Cambridge, Mass. The new bridge, with its towers and abutments, its arches and its piers, bears little re­ semblance to the historic old West Boston bridge, whose place it takes. It was seven years ago, almost to a day, that the first stroke of work was aone which was to yield, the best bridge in Massachusetts. The new bridge, while not so long as Harvard bridge by some 200 feet, is of greater masslveness and solidity. The length over all, includlnp the ap­ proaches, is 3,700 feet; subtracting the space taken up by the approaches, the length of the bridge proper is 1,800 feet, and its width 105 feet. The arch of the bridge is divided into 11 spans, varying in length. The large, center span, through span, which is 188.5 feet long, down to those on each end, which are 101.5 feet in length. The large center span, through which all vessels pass, has a headway of 26 feet at high tide for a space 50 feet in width, thus allowing tugs, barge* and vessels with "telescope" masts to pass through easily. The center span, with its four mas­ sive towers of granite, is a new de­ parture in bridge building, and like all new things, these towers have l been freely criticized from an archi- tectural standpoint The bridge is, however, as Mr. Jackson, the engineer, puts it, an "engineer's bridge." Each of the granite centerpieces is elaborately carved. On the Boston side is the city seal on both inner and outer face, while the seal of Cambridge is carved on the faces of the Cam­ bridge side of the center span. The two stone abutments are hol­ low, a construction which greatly les­ sens the weight of the structure. In fact, from end to end the bridge has been built with a view above all to strength and durability, as far as this did not detract from architectural standards. The cost of the bridge amounted to a little over $2,500,000. The old West Boston bridge, which was torn down to be replaced by the new one, was a landmark of consider­ able historical interest. i,i the latter part of the eighteenth century a com­ pany was incorporated, which, on March 9, 1792, was empowered by an act approved by John Hancock to build a bridge from Boston at a point near the pesthoufce, so-called, to Pel- ham's island. Cambridge. The bridge was begun in the summer of 1792, and on Nov. 23, 1793, was opened for traf­ fic. The structure was wooden, 40 feet in width--"a plank bridge on pine piles, which were soon destroyed by worms, and were replaced by oak as fast as was consistent with econ­ omy and prudence." The Effort* Being Made by the Ameri* s can Medical Association. The Political activity of the Ameri­ can Medical Association has become BO pronounced as to cause comment in political circles .especially as the the avowed purpose of the 'Doctors of the "Regular" or Allopathic school, of which the Association is chiefly com­ posed, is to secure the passage of such laws as will not only prevent the sale so-called "Patent" medicines, but will restrict the practice of medi­ cine and healing to the "schools" now recognized. This in many states would prevent the growing practice of Os­ teopathy, and in nearly every state would prevent the healers of the Christian Science and mental science belief from practicing those sciences in which the faith of so many intelli­ gent people is so firmly rooted. The American Medical Association has a "Committee on Legislation," and the committee has correspond­ ents in practically every township -- some 16,000 correspondents in all. This committee at the last session of the American Medical Association held in June of this year expressed a hope that a larger number of physi­ cians than heretofore'will offer them­ selves as candidates for Congress at the first opportunity. In its annual report this Committee said: "To meet the growing demands , of the move­ ment, however, particularly if the work of active participation in State legislation is undertaken, a larger clerical force must be employed." This 1B almost the first time in the history of the United States that any organized class has frankly avowed the purpose of capturing legislatures and dominating legislation In their own selfish interests. The American Medical Association has about 65,000 members of ^rhom 27,000 are "fully constituted mem­ bers" and the rest are members be­ cause of their affiliation with state or local societies. The Association own* real estate in Chicago valued at $111,- 781.91 and its total assets are $291,- 567.89. Its liabilities, at the time of the annual report which was made at the June meeting, amounted to only $21,906. The excess of assets over liabilities is increasing at the rate of about $30,000 a year, and the purpose of the organization is to dominate the field of medicine, and by crushing all competitions by securing the pas­ sage of prohibitive legislation, compel all of the people of the United; States to pay a doctor's fee every time thp most simple remedy is needed. Only Too Willing. Seedy Party (entering office)--Ex­ cuse me, sir, but can you' help me out a little this morning? Mr. Busyman--Certainly. You may have your choice of being thrown out or kicked out.--Chicago Daily News. Had Done Time. She--You here again? Tramp--Yes, kin<} lady. She--Well, I won't help you again. I don't believe you have done a thing all the year. Tramp--Indeed, I have mum; I Just done 30 days. WHAT YOU MAY EXPECT. Here are a tew things you must ex­ pect to be told by the natives of the place at which you spend your vaca­ tion: This is the hottest summer we've ever had here. Things have never been *o back­ ward here as they'are this season. It ain't never been so wet here be­ fore. There's lot* of fish here, but for some reason they ain't bitin' just now. if you'd of been here last week you could of pulled 'em out faster'n you could bait your hook. We ain't never knew It to be so eold here before at this time o' year. / ( It's too bad you ain't gbih' to be here about two weeks later. Things just begins to be at their best then. There'was a man ketched one that weighed 'leven pounds in here day before yistady. Last year every every one of them trees was just loaded with fruit. It's blamed queer they don't bite to­ day. I never knew 'em to be so shy before. Oh. yes, there's regular swarms o' ducks here every spring and fall. We're a little crowded just now, but if you'd 'a' come at almost any other time there'd 'a' been lots o' room. Generally we have lots of vegeta­ bles, but our garden ain't somehow doin' very well this season.--Chicago Record-Herald. PITY THE POOR ARTISTL An artist gets this,right along: "That looks easy." "I suppose you are a genius?" "Who taught you to draw?" "I can guess what that represents." "You just ought to see what our little boy can draw, and he's only ten years, old, too." "Do they pay you for thia?" "Why don't you put a funny fao* on the moon?" • "Don't you know how to spell?" "There's a feller down at the bnal- ness college who can make the loveli­ est birds without lifting his pen from the paper. You ought to get him to give you some pointers." "Can you draw your breath? Ha, aa» ha!"--Chicago Journal. Deaths from X-Ray*. • The death of Dr. Weigel, a surgeon of Rochester, from a disease due to the constant use of the X-rays make* the fourth who has lost his life from this cause, says the Chistian Advo­ cate. The others were an assistant of Thomas Edison, a Boston physician and a woman of San Francisco named Fleischman. In the case of Dr> Wei­ gel since 1904, when his right hand and all but the thumb and a linger of the left hand were remqved, there had been four operations in trying to save his life. The first renloved a part of the right shoulder; then a part of the muscles covering the right breast. x Mystery completely envelops the cause of death, the disease being un­ known to medical science, though it is believed to involve some great prln-, ;iple of life. Dr. Weigel was pre*ir dent of the Rochester Academy of Medicine and the American Ortho­ paedic society. Puzzled. Th# bard from the city had sold suf> flcient verses to spend a week in a rural boarding house. Waving off the swarms of June bugs and mosquitoes, the bard sat penning his lines by the yellow light of a kerosene lamp. "How I love this madrigal!" h* mused to himself. * The horny-banded farmer, who sat greasing his boots, looked up In sur­ prise. "Graciousf" he drawled. "Whereto she?" "Who?" asked the astonished bard. "Why, the gal yeou Just said yeou loved." Stopped "Seeing Thing*." Enthusiastic Nature Lover (to Re> formed Tramp)--Ah, my friend, how well you muist know the face of na­ ture, and know it in all its moods. Have you ever *een the sun sinking in such a glare of glory that it swal­ lows up the whole horizon with lta passionate lire? Have you seen th* mist gliding like a specter down the shrinking hillside, or the pale moon struggling to shake off the grip of tha ragged storm cloud? Reformed Tramp--No, air; not *ince I signed the pledge. In Self-Deftnw. Gabriel--Say, what did you let that pestiferous party in for? St. Peter (wearily) He used to to an insurance agent and 1 either had fen let him in or be talked to deajh.