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^ j. \v+r *$&*'f% *%r ,^»V *** " " 1 * ' *" "*Y^y '•«*%& t'* 4 <*^y .j/' ^ , ,.v i^f 4 i%^"^ y •*? r * irHENlIt PLAINDEALER. M'HENRT. nj^ • ' ' -V t. • 1'" v'} t'k-. H« ON A PHILIPPINE MHROAD ->,yH ^'A i^-;.; T..\ m P> >- •••$$*$ #*-*w Walters Illustrations SYNOPSIS. !i ** : *«rr. a imotherkws girl, who ta» spent roost of her life in school, arrives «l her father's hom» in Belmont. Davia K»rr is the political boss of the town, and is anxious to prevent his daughter learning of his real character. Kendall, representing the Chicago packers, la ne­ gotiating with Judare Gilbert. Kerr's chief adviser, for a valuable franchise. They fear the opposition of Jo» Wright, editor of the reform pa(>er. Kerr asks the as­ sistance of Judge Gilbert tn Introducing Gloria to B >lmont society, and promises to help him put through the packers franchise and let him have all the graft. Gloria meets Joe Wright at the Gilberts, ft appears they are on Intimate terms. having met previously In a touring party In Europe. Gloria twits Wright on his failure to keep an engagement to meet 1 thrift her !a Pitris. He explains that tne death of hlii mother prevented his going to Paris. The Gilberts Invite G'.orla to stay with 4b«m pendinp ttie refurnishing of tha Kerr hom*. Onc society bud who refused to meet Gloria is forced to do so when her father Is made to feel Kerr's power. Wright begins his flpht against the pro- 0OMa »f«^chl»c in the columns of his pa- . #«r. the Belmont News. mil &$&. '• w.<- • f*J!L •k- %*" m:.. iflfc 'Mf- CHAPTER IX. The story Wright had printed the first day and the reply it drew from the Banner the next morning caused the Newe to be awaited with undis­ guised eagerness on the second after­ noon. This was heightened on the part of the men in the syndicate in­ terested in the franchise by the perti­ nent questions put to them in the morning by News reporters. David Kerr was called on the telephone half a dozen times by his lieutenants, and arrangements were made to have a line open to Esmeralda Springs at three-thirty, the hour when the News was issued. Although they were prepared to dis­ count gome of the story because of the questions asked them, yet none of the ring men was prepared for a reve­ lation of the scheme such as the News made. Black headlines ran across four columns and the story also took up most of the second page. There was a map of the proposed interurb&n route, and pictures of pretty homes on Maple Avenue. But from one end of the story to the other there was no mention of David Kerr or of the local backing being given the bill before the council. It was expressly stated that the Incorporators of the new com­ pany were merely dummies and that they were acting in the interest of the stock-yards company. Amos Gilbert in an Interview denied any knowledge of the transaction, say­ ing that his connection with the stock­ yards company was merely nominal and that he did not even know If the company was interested in the line proposed. He did not see how, as a company, it oould be. Gilbert sat in his office as soon as he secured a paper and read the story word for word over the telephone to Kerr. The latter promptly announced that he would be hems the next day; and ordered that Gloria be taken from Belmont on any pretext whatever for a few days until the fight had been allowed to die down. The next day was 8unday, on which Wright pub­ lished no paper, and Kerr would be home before another issued appeared. He agreed with Gilbert that the Ban­ ner ought to ridicule the alleged ex­ pose. Sunday night, much to her surprise tut not much against her will, Gloria "Went to St. LOUIB with Mrs. Gilbert to pick out furniture for Locust Lawn. 8he did not know that her father had returned from Esmeralda Springs that morning and had been closeted all aft­ ernoon with Gilbert and John Ken­ dall, who had hurried to Belmont in .response to a telegram. The girl had Lr**+ A Former Machine Hangeron Named Jack Durken. not seen Wright all day, nor had she seen him Saturday, but there came from him a box of roses at noon. Little witch that she was, she meant to surprise him by sending him a note ttf thanks from St. Louis. She knew he would Join her and Mrs. Gilbert (here on her hint that they would be Clad to see him. Wright received her note and per­ ceived the slightly veiled invitation, fcut he was too busy even to answer. St was a week that contained more ex­ citement than Belmont had seen since, a frontier village. It had struggled ; with the question of whether the state • should secede or rattain In the Union. . David Kerr found himself confronted I Of a formidable line of battle. The Banner kept pounding away at the jjiews, but the afternoon paper was Jiot to be diverted from Its purpose. ^The cttisens on Maple Avenue formed the Maple League, and wore buttons <>n which were a maple leaf and the legend, "Help us save our homes." ^ IThe car line was to run through the #event> and eighth wards, and the ^Mtarnen in those wards were del- x taged with letters, post cards, tele­ phone calls and personal visits, -•'in­ ly they went to David Kerr and ifigtid him that If h» had enouch - votes without them to let them op­ pose the franchise as they were In the midst of their canvass for re-election. The boss held them In line. The bill had its second reading at the council meeting Tuesday, but un­ der orders from Kerr nothing further was done with It at that time. He be­ gan to worry about the approaching election. What to him was the pass­ ing of the bill at that time compared to the control of the city for the next two years? If he let It sleep now and the election went his way then it could be passed soon after. By the another election rolled around, Belmont would have forgotten. So it came about that the Kerr ad­ herents tried to forget the franchise. When the bill disappeared they were loud in their denunciation of the op­ position thieves who had stolen it. With this outburst they were willing to subside and forget the matter, but this the News would not permit. Wright kept it to the front and they were forced to accept it as an issue. The continuous attitude of apology necessitated by this was weakening them every day. The independent wave which had been sweeping over the country had been late in striking Belmont, there having been no news­ paper to marshal the forces, but now it was increasing to the volume of a tidal wave which Kerr would have hard work pouring oil upon. The editor of the News recognized that it was only a Pyrrhic victory he had won by securing the shelving of the franchise for the present. He was not blind to the fact that the fran­ chise would bob up serenely after elec­ tion. Now that he had aroused the town and had committed himself to a fight against the ring, he determined to carry it on. It had not been his purpose, before the franchise bill had drawn his lire, to enter with great heat Into the coming election cam­ paign, but he saw that the impetus given the opponents of the machine would carry them well on toward vic­ tory at the polls. Carrying the elec­ tion would be a great advertisement for the paper. If it lost, the News could not be any worse off than it was now. Kerr forgot none of the precautions' he had taken In being prepared to em­ barrass Wright in his work if the oc­ casion should arise. The merchants who, through Kerr's influence, had pat­ ronised the News, suddenly withdrew their advertising. Many who had been In before the paper had changed hands now ceased to use its columns. If a store was using the News and furnish­ ing supplies to the workhouse or the Jail, It faced the alternative of losing a fat account or confining its adver­ tising to the Banner. The proprietor, being part of the machine, else noth­ ing would ever have been purchased from him for the city's use, promptly gave up the News. It was the same with meat markets. Other lines of business were approached In ether ways, but the result was always the same--a loss of advertising revenue to the News. Even the railroads were derelict In delivering his white paper, and Wright spent many an anxious hour tracing cars from the mill to find them lost In the Belmont yards. One valuable source of information was developed by the News in a for­ mer machine hanger-on named Jack Durken. He came to work in the cir­ culation department of the paper, and Wright first heard of him through the circulation manager. .At Wright's re­ quest the man came to his office and from his story the editor gathered that he had not received fair treat­ ment at the hands of the other gang­ sters. He had lived In the disrepu­ table first ward, and had had trouble with Mike Noonan, a ward leader. For his workn he had been made a street cleaning Inspector, but after having Incurred the ire of Noonan had lost his job. Nothing the enemy did was able to keep Wright from publishing a pa­ per every day. Every Issue was a constant reminder to Belmont that things were not as they should be and that the way to remedy conditioas was to defeat the city machine at the polls. The editor spent all his daylight hours at his office, and often was there until late in the night In conference with various leadersi The opponents of Kerr had some old scores to settle, and this was their chancy The post­ master was usually to be found on Kerr's side, although under cover, but this time he could not afford to use his influence for his party in city af­ fairs--even for a consideration. The boss knew the game too well to press him. In the last days of the campaign the antl-Kerr leaders learned with sur­ prise that Senator McMinitry, their state boss, was coming to Belmont for a day. They had not sent for blm, and were at a loss to account for the visit. He had not taken any one Into his confidence, merely saying ho was coming on business. Why he should journey from Washington to Belmont for so short a stay they could not un­ derstand. He gave It out that he was making a flying visit to his home, but he came straight to Belmont. Only two men besides the senator knew his mission, the emissary who carried the message to Washington and the man who sent for him. David Kerr wanted to see him. It was only three days before elec­ tion when Senator McMinitry visited , Belmont. He went to the Hotel Bel mont and took a suite of roOmn, but did not register. After talking to Da vid Kerr over the telephone, he Or­ dered an early luncheon for two served In his private parlor. Kerr arrived before the table was spread and 1m mediately began to explain the situa­ tion. All through the meal the two men talked, McMinitry questioning and Kerr explaining. _ Practical politics was the business l. . i*1 •• it was of Mr. David Kerr. Jim Mc­ Minitry liked to pose before the pub­ lic and to make flamboyant speeches. Kerr preferred to sit in his dingy real estate office and pull the strings that made tho puppets dance. To him speech making and posing were like the tinsel on a drum major's uniform. He cared only for power, it was Im­ material to htm how gaudy glory was apportioned. "It looks like he's got you in bad. Dare," said the senator. "I don't see how I can help you this trip." Kerr slowly set down his glass of water and straightened up in his chair, for he "knew that the deal was now under way. He had played fair with Jim McMinitry and told him Just the exact situation. "Lots o' things can happen, Jim. I've decided to get his paper, but I need votes. It's too close to election. You ain't going to let him play you for a sucker. We've got to clean him, or he'll turn on you Just as he has on me." "I guess I ought to wait till he does," was the cautious response. I've got enough troubles without go­ ing out and lassoing a young grlssly bear." "He ain't got no party," urged Kerr, and you know how it happens In' them towns where such a paper glts a start. He's got these fools In Bel­ mont believing he's George Washing­ ton come to life again." "I'm sorry for you, Dave, but hon­ estly I don't see where I can help out any. It would give me too black an eye, because the boys here have set their hearts on winning this time." Kerr saw that McMinitry was forc­ ing his hand, and he decided to ap­ proach the situation from another side. "The next legislature *11 elect your successor," he suggested. "I'm going to be my own succes­ sor," asserted the senator. "It's going to_.be a hot fight," con­ tinued Kerr, unmindful of McMlnl- try's remark. "The state will Hwjhg back to our party, but nobody knows how the legislature *11 be on joint bal­ lot" "It's going to be for me If I can have anything to say about it" "Well, you don't seem to be going about it very actively," retorted Kerr with the nearest approach to sarcasm he permitted himself during the inters view. "Even if the legislature is con­ trolled by your party, you've got a fight on your hands. There's Con­ gressman Jenklnson and old man Gra­ ham down In Washington County. He's almost as strong as you are, and his part of the state ain't had no rec­ ognition for a long time." McMinitry did not answer at once. He got up from the table and walked to the window. When at last he turned to Kerr the question had been gone over thoroughly In his mind. "Well, Dave," he asked with a smile, "what's the answer?" "You've got to knife your ticket, so's these fool reformers cant carry Belmont'* "What'd I get out of it?" drawled out the senator. "Seven votes In the house and two in the senate." Again the apostle of practical poll- tics sat back and took stock of the situation. Belmont was nothing to him. It mattered nothing at all to him how the town went as far as city affairs were concerned. Nine votes were not to be despised. He was cau­ tious, however, and wanted particu­ lars. "How you going to deliver?" he asked. "We've got that many to run this fall and IH let the opposition have it their own way. Name your men now if you want to." "That many's bound to make the legislature ours on joint ballot" Kerr knew this, but he was quite willing to change the political com­ plexion of the legislature of a great state, perhaps hamper the governnor in wise and necessary leglslatiou and keep the state from having a senator of Its own choice, all to hold Belmont for his own. McMinitry was no less willing to change victory into defeat and hand the city over to the rapacity of the Interurban Railway Company, only to retain his senatorial efflc4. "All right," he cousented, "but you've got to do two things: take care of some of the boys and muzzle the News. I can't have that paper making trouble for me." "I'll take care of the boys all right, and I've told you what I'm going to do--I'm going to buy the News." "Can you?" "I've got to have it, and I don't caff how, but it's got to be mine." "Got any idea?" asked the senator. "No, but every man's got his price, Jim, in Home form or other." If he had time for reflection, David Kerr would have enjeyed this remark, since It was given a humorous turn by the fact that he had Just discovered the price of tiie Junior senator from his own state. "I'll go up to the postoffice and call on some of the boys," said McMinitry as Kerr rose to go. "I'll have to tell Davidson and Peake. When you get word to them that the News Is friend­ ly, they'll pass the word along. You've got three days; that ought to be plenty of time, but you must have the paper or the deal's off. Who'll take It?" "I don't know yet who well got to take it." "Ill take Ik" • £ "Not much," Keir replied grimly.> "I'm going to put It where it wont be no more trouble to me, and It's go-. ing to be run from my office." CHAPTER X. When Gloria Kerr returned from St. Louis she found half a hundred calling cards awaiting her. The wom­ en she was anxious to meet had called while she was out of town. Those who delayed their visits until her re­ turn were people whom she readily recognized as being quite on the outer fringe of society. In them she was not interested. When Gloria went to return the calls of those whom she had come to know were regarded as the first families of Belmont, she found no one at home. Somewhat mortified, but making ho confession of her feelings even to Mrs. Gilbert, Gloria threw he<feelf into the work of remodeling LocuBt Lawn with all the vigor she would other­ wise have expended upon social du­ ties. Her active superintendence kept her a good part of the time in the country, although she still made her home with Mrs. Gilbert. Sometimes she would pass the night at Locust Lawn out of a sense of duty to her father. The evenings spent in his company were not ones of unalloyed pleasure. More and more she was coming to acknowledge to herself that her father did not, could not enter Into her life, Into (he activities which gave her pleasured Kerr honestly tried, but It vu Im­ possible. For one thing, he was en­ gaged in a heated political campaign, fighting to retain supremacy. Gloria, on her side, saw that she had been rebuffed socially, and was not on close enough terms of intimacy with her father to tell him about It. The girl knew that he had been the social lead­ er In Belmont, and she was, ashamed that she had not been able to win all hearts as he had done (TO BE CONTINUED.) Contradictory Terms. An American visitor to Cambridge, England, sought explanation of some unfamiliar terms, which a genial Don was delighted to elucidate. '"Full term,'" he explained, "Is three-quar­ ters of a term, and the 'May week' Is the first fortnight in June. A day of general admission is the day on which men leave the university, an ordinary degree Is one conferred by a special exam., and an Inspector of art Is one who has been an arts stu­ dent for at least six years." The Yankee passed a hand across his weary brow. "And will they," he queried, "put me in the London train If I ask lor a ticket to Cambridge?" Type of Locomotive That la Found Most Suitable for Use in the Island*. FLED BEFORE TRAIN D5ER CHASED TWENTY-POUR 'vl <MILE8 BY LOCOMOTIVE Evidently Fascinated by .Rails, They Remained Track Until One Had Run Down. the Steel on the to . *# QUEER HEADDRESS IN CHINA learn that this operation Is performed by some once a week, by others once a month and yet others--pretty low down in the social scale--once a year; Wide World Magazine. Married Woman of Mongolia -Imitate Elephant Ears With Their Hair, for a Purpose. The headdress of the Mongolian woman is a very complicated affair. When the hair is made up in the shape of elephants' ears It Indicates matrimony and when worn In a tail It means that the woman is a spinster. In order to give this shape to the hair the woman makes a parting In the middle of her head, then drenches the hair, each side by turn, with a pleas­ ing mixture of fish glue and grease. When it is thoroughly soaked she spreads the upper part out thinly In such a way that at its broadest It measures about six Inches wide. To keep the hair in this shape she em­ ploys wooden clips, which, when the hair is dry, are replaced, if she can afford it, by silver or golden ones. The lower part of the hair Is made into a plait, with a silver or golden ornament at the end to prevent it coming undone. These silver or golden clips and hair ornaments are often set with precious stones and princesses even have the whole of the plait hidden by meanB of silver or golden rings. As the making up of the hair takes a whole day and the Mongol wbmen are very lazy and not particularly eleanly In thelr habltSj It Is not surprising to Birds 8ing Ragtime. That many singing birds In captiv­ ity can be taught to pipe bars of popular songs Is well known. But Mr. Thomas J. Dawson of Lower Sloane street, London, states that some of his bullfinches have been so trained that they can sing with ac­ curacy and uncommon sweetness the Toreador song from "Carmen," "The Soldiers' Chorus." from "Faust," and the hymn, "Now the Day Is Over." Trained In Germany by cobblers who pipe to them, the bullfinches begin their singing lessons Just after they are born, and when brought to Eng­ land are sometimes sold tor as much as £10 each. The driver of a freight train In {he Gatineau valley drove a pair of deer 24 miles in a little over an hour, his train moving at a fairly Uniform rate all that time, relates the Montreal Star. At the end of the run, one of the deer, which was very fat, col­ lapsed, and fell. The other stood stupidly, staring at the big engine as it stopped, but when the men" de­ scended from It, Jumped ;fropi the track and escaped. The deadly fascination of the steel rails was well exemplified on the Kaz- ubazua plains in the same section, when a pair of Scotch Stag hounds were seen passing from the open country from the north driving a deer before them. Without heeding the shouts of the men at the station, the hunted thing, which had evident­ ly come from a l£ng distance, bound­ ed along with some difficulty follow­ ing all the curves of the track down to the. Stag creek bridge, through which It tripped and was then killed by the hounds. The section men on the Pontiae railway chased a little herd of three deer on a down grade, for some miles with their hand car, and ran them right up to an approaching engine. As they stopped to lift their machine clear of the track, the poor things slackened their speed, looked help­ lessly as they ran on to right and left and allowed the engine to send them all to destruction. Probably at night it Is the glare of the headlight which attracts, confuses and then hypnotizes the deer, and causes their death. An engine "running light," one dark night, was derailed by a big bull moose it had run Into. The driver explained that he had seen the animal standing on the track, staring intent­ ly at the approaching headlight, but until close up to It had not Imagined that ,it would remain there to be killed. He had, however;1 whistled, and then reversed his engine as it drew, near the mooBe. For this he was greatly blamed by the superin­ tendent, who explained that having made the mistake of supposing that the moose would not, or could not di­ vert its gaze from that glaring light, he should have crowded on all steam in the hope of throwing the huge car­ cass aside with the cowcatcher. Old locomotive drivers are well aware of the hypnotizing effect of the headlight of an engine upon the deer family, and when possible stop and drive the creatures aside. A little group of these men discuss­ ing the matter recited numerous In­ stances of running into deer, which when once they have fixed their eyes on it, stand as though paralyzed in the fierce light of the locomotives. One of them spoke of having on two occasions actually, with his hands, pushed deer from before his train, the poor things having apparently lost their power of movement. Their Choice, Not His.' A Metropolitan matron onoe tured to Interrogate James Lane Al­ len as to the reason for his state of Celibacy. "Are you a bachelor from choice?" she queried. "Yes." came the answer with disconcerting prompt­ ness from the famous author. "But isn't that--er--rather ungracious and ungallant?" protested the fair lnquls ltor. The novelist smiled. "You mual ask the ladles," he suggested gentl/i "it was their cbotom, Mi auai." Large Japanese Railroad Depot. The most elaborate railway station In the far east, the new Central rail­ way station at Toklo, will be complet­ ed next year at a cost of approxi­ mately $1,400,000. The main building is 1,083 l?y 132 feet, and the station Is being constructed on a centrally located 60-acre tract of land which will be decorated with Japanese gar­ dens, fountains, etc. sixty Years an Engineer/ ^ R. S. Sigman, Ashevllle, N. C., has retired at eighty-one, after serving sixty years si * railroad engineer without having had a serious acci­ dent Good Advice for Bad Men* "The late Michael Maybrlck, the eomposer of The Blue Alsatian moun­ tain# and many other famous songs," said a New York musio publisher, "was a sentimental soul. He had old- fashioned, sentimental Ideas about honor and love and rectitude. "I once introduced Maybrlck In Lon­ don to a successful financier, whose career had been checkered, reminded him of old Millions. Then, in scorn­ ful accents, he told me the story; " 'Remember one tiling,' said old Mil- ELECTRICITY TO STOP TRAINS Experiments Made In Bavaria the Idea to Be Perfectly Feasible. 8hew Experiments have recently been made on the Bavarian state railways with a method of stopping railway trains electrically. The system is re­ ferred to as one of wirelera telegraph communication between a wire strung on the roof of the baggage car and any telegraph or telephone linos running along the track. Probably induction is used rather than Hertzinn waves to convey the signal to the tialn. The apparatus operates either a bell or. a light: signal in the cab of, the locomo­ tive or it will operate directly on the air brakes. The system calls for the installation of a sending station at frequent intervals, sd that if it be de­ sired to stop a train because of some accident, this may be effected from almost any point along the track.-- Scientific American. - -- -V Women as Railway Servants, f A signalwoman has been employed on the line between Morebath and Bampton, near the Somerset border of Devon, for the last 23 years, and an­ other at Lee Crossing, near Mlnehead. But women are employed on the rail­ ways in other places besides the West country. Rosemount station, on the Caledonian railway, and Langford, Es­ sex, have station-mistresses. At Bray- stones,, on the Furness railway, and at Dovenby station, Cumberland, there are women-who not only manage the signals, but issue tickets and do all the work in connection with the trains. More women probably are employed on the railways in Russia than in any other European country. There are computed to be between 20,000 and 30,000 women working on the Russian state railways. They act as gate-keep­ ers, clerks and telegraphers. Th6ir salaries are small. Women attend­ ants at the stations receive only about £4 5s. a year, with free lodging and certain extras. Women clerkB receive abou£ £48 a year.--Family Herald.. Have YeoaBad Back? you use your back, does a •harp paip hit you? Does your back " ' atly, feel sore and lame? Ifs a sign of sick kidneys, especially if <he kidney action is disordered too, pas­ sages scanty or too frequent or off color. In neglect there is danger of dropsy, gravel or Bright's disease. Use Doan's Kidney Pills which h^ve cured thousapda AN IOWA USB Mn. J. But nsttatiCtt •ana St., VfcirSftU, la.. do my hoBMwofk. X wma reatlM* aa« Um palna were awf*L Ihadtoffo to bad aad I couldn't tarn over wltboat help. 1(7 limb* war* ter­ ribly awollMi aad I thought I *u solas i'fv;V" v,' " to die. Wh«n X had • almoat rlvaa up, I "'V: haard about Poan'a v; H' > Kidney Pttla. aad aM them. Thajr permanently «m sat aad today I aat la tfea beat of health" Dpeafti a* Aagr Stars. CDs a Boat DOAN FOenSUHLBURM CO* BUFFALO, H.T. li'^ h i % WewantahlpmentaafBaw Furs from those who have tried other bouses and were disappointed. Trapping Is hard work and you should get even cent your fun are worth. That Is what we give you. "Ton sent me I80.4I more than layown valua­tion for my raw fors," wrlua Dan Stevens, Grayling, Mo express. No commis­ sion*. Furs held separate If requested. Mr. Geo. J. Thleaaen. well- known author of trapping ar­ ticle* an<l gnldes. whoae woik yon bare read in the maga- alnea, la our Conalgnment Manager. Write him about yoar ahipments. Blomaa* "Trapper's Otilde" and a bottle of Thlesaen* Animal Attraetor free to oar shippen.OB request. £ y f 366 wen Qmhoss A.Sloman &Co WANTED We will pay yon a splendid salary or liberal com­ mission and give yon a share of onr profits. Make SS.OO to 810.00 dally. Customers buy eagerly when shown remarkable advertising pl|u> and70 low priced articles with which you give valuable pre­ miums. New, up-to-date, beaullf ully Illustrated, 73 page catalogs with your nanio on cover supplied for distribution among your customers. Our new plan brings you orders by mall. Credit given. Beat sea­ son now. Write quickly for absolutely sure money- making opportunity. BEST MFG. CO., Bat 588, PROVIDENCE, R. I. EFFORT TO SOFTEN THE BLOW % <Just Escaped Death. The thrilling sensation of being wedged in the points of a railway lino and seeing a train bearing down on him, was experienced at Crewe the other night, by a signal-fitter on the London & Northwestern railway, writes a correspondent. He had been sitting on the line laying cables when the points were pulled over for a train to pass, and his flesh was tightly gripped. He was hopelessly held down and in Intense agony when he heard the oncoming train. The man nearly fainted with pain, but he shout­ ed the attention of some men, but they could not release him.. Taking the situation in at a glance, one of the men some distance off risked hlB life by leaping on the train, scrambling up into the guard's van, and applying the hrakes. The train slopped a few yards from the signal-fitter. Even then the man was not out Of his trouble, for the signals had to be pulled off 'be­ fore tie could be released. N Useless Enterprise. The following communication was' recently, received by a gentleman resi­ dent in the north of England: "We understand tha£ you are con­ templating matrimony, and tender you our congratulations. If you will ad­ vise us of the amount you are pre­ pared to spend--say, two hundred pounds--we will set up a .model jiouse In our establishment, so that you can see what every room will look like. In addition, without any charge, we will select decorations to harmonise with the furniture and supervise the workmen. So, without the slightest trouble to yourself, you will find every piece of furniture placed exactly as you desire in an appropriately-dec­ orated house." The reply was: "Unless the sum named Includes the provision of a bride It ts useless to me. But try my cousin; he Is the unfortunate man!" Ions on his deathbed to his son. 'Re­ member this one thing. It is a rale I've followed all my life. It's the se­ cret, id fact, of my success.' " 'Yes, father; yes/ said the young man, eagerly. " 'Never do a Jailable act,' whisper ed the old man in Impressive tones. 'Hire somebody else to do It for you.'" Possibly Things Would Have Hap­ pened if Mrs. Jones Had Hearty v Remark of Her Husband. Every one has heard authentic stories of the man who asked another, "Who is that old frump over yonder?" and got the reply, "She Is my wife.** But the story doesn't go far enough. Jones observed aq^ old lady sitting across the room. "For heaven's sake!" lie remarked to Robinson, 'who is that extraordi­ narily ugly woman over there?" "That," answered Robinson, "la my wife." ' - Jones was taken aback, but mo*e4 up front again. "Well," he Bald persuasively, "you just ought to see mine!"--New York Evening Post. V: t." i.4 Too Busy to Consider Anotlfer 4«k> "Uh-no, sah--t'anky for de ob-iga- tlon!" frankly replied ramshackle Brother Bulginback, who was noted for l^ls deftness in dodging work. VKin't do be job for yo', cunhnel, much as I'd admah to; uh-kaze why: Me and muh wife, sah, we burgun a 'spute, day befo' yiste'd'y, 'bout a p'int in de Scripters, and I isn't gwine to have no time for de next week or slch-uh- mattah for nuth'n* but lookin' up 'pro- priate'answers to dat mistaken lady's ahgymunts." Classical Authority. > Little Horatio--Pa, what does "ot»» tion" mean? Walker Hamm (the eminent trage­ dian--It is a word derived from the Latin "ovum," reaning egg, my son. --Puck. I f , . u, v. The labor unions of San Fipacisco are getting photographs Of strike­ breakerŝ be used t* .* gallery. Toasted to a Golden Brown! Sound* "smacking food," doesn't ii> That's Post Toasties Tender thin bits of the beat parts of Indian Corn, perfectly cooked at the factory, and ready to oat direct from the package-- fresh, crisp and c l e a n . ^ ^ ' . < . • - YheflV Vu i - ness about "Toasties" that make them the favorite flaked cereal at thousands of bm fast tables daily. Post Toasties with croi aad a sprinkling of sugar -- Wholesome Easy to Sold by Grocers evoyf] m