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..w Mr sic**..- ?v', 1>* ?W? You'll |f»ed- I %> y li . m OSTERITY sees a stiff, formal plo* ̂ ture of Washington standing In th$\ - j bow of a boat crossing the Delaware ' amid floating flocks of ice on that "j- memorable Christmas night, t^ fight the battle which turned thfcV;-5." tide of the revolution in the righ| * ^ direction. But no painter couli delineate the heroism of the actual scene. His men were ragged--halt Besides the running ice in the river, therik r' iras a blinding bliszard, and it was so bitter coltf " ^ that the chief loss on the American side was df the men who, though inured to pioneer hardship^. . S fcrose to death that awful night. r';:-,' General Washington stand in htt boat ij§js^.'v v'r" sfcat dangerous current during a Ufrlvtng Btor* 4 • load stare pompously at the opposite shore? Not %9, Instead of that, he "sat tight" and cajole#, {he men, using every device that might make them, ffcrget their terrible situation; even telling tbe® t'•.¥,facetious story, which, coming from him, staiv f " ^ed them, set their blood tingling and made tbeflt oblivious to the cold and dangers around thedl* : #hat was the grandest deed in the military strait* -,V |gem which made Frederick the Great of Prussi^ iaad, indeed, the whole world, wonder at tl|p •Junius of Washington. Nearly every one knows the outside of thfc/ \ , : Iftory of the siege of Boston by the new con* Ipander-in-chlef, who had come to the continental Songress as a wealthy Virginia colonel, and hto ondescript crowd of raw recruits, wholly unusad Bot only to military discipline, but even to mi% tary forms. But few know of the transcendent bluff General Washington had to put up when He discovered that there were but a few rounds Of gunpowder in the possession of the whole Ameri­ can army, while the British were amply supplied %ith ammunition and might sally forth any hour •gainst the American "irregulars." '/> "Some one had blundered." M6ny a cw>» pander would have shown up the improvidea* - Officers who had that matter in charge and peis- ^ishly thrown up the command as ridiculously ifla- ^jossible. But General Washington did not tell his post trusted officers of the excruciating dilemuilk lie found himself in. He knew the awful secret Would spread if known to a few, and the great iOause of Justice might be lost. He began quietly • '1° scour the country for gunpowder. He boo® found that the nearest place at which any quad- " -|ity could,be had was in a magazine on the island r%f#f Bermuda. To get that required a secret expe* v^itlon, much hazard and many weeks; but Wash- 4 figton's nerve was equal to the fearful strain. During that long, tense Interval the American ':/ <|roops were working away ilpon the fortifications, , preparing for a grand attack. Meanwhile the \ jyoung commander-in-chief was entertaining - • .,%ospitably at his headquarters, the Craige man­ sion, now best known as "Longfellow's Home," in " ' Jpambridge. As a pleasant diversion, "Ladjr" r^fWashington, then one of the wealthiest women In ^•^merica, came to visit the general, and all tho ( ... Countryside was agog over her coach-and-four with Jix black postilions in white and scarlet livery. t .^A.!:V.r'.t^feven the British, cooped up in Boston, were in- f'T5" ^|>re88ed by the resources and apparent oonfidenoe if the American generalissimo. V i P " : W h i l e o n e e x p e d i t i o n w a s g o n e t o B e r m u d a '•'&,r - ;|or powder, General Knox, with a small force, Succeeded in bringing a number of cannon sev- " feral hundred miles on ox sleds in midwinter . -fitrom Fort Ticonderoga. In those "times that men's souls" it was Washington's iron V':v %erve, supported by his broad sense of humor, " ^.^ometimes scintillating with a radiance worthy a. Franklin or a Lincoln, which saved the day. ^hls was only onp of many occasicfas on whicih Washington had to fight \put the revplution alone. A friend of Lincoln's once said of him, "The president's laugh is his life-preserver." This was ? truer of Washington than any one seems to haw Realized in a day when strict gravity without, levity, was expected of public characters. To •»pm- \ with , * your 'M m vSf i*: X*. v£v iiC tirf W-,.TO rhui- ,s*:. K). M I W.ff': 3̂ ; laugh or to see the humorous side of an incident ; * was considered the sign of a frivolous dispos^. :£pon. Washington's early biographers were solemn • {>^|nen. To have told in their books how much their • ^-.'•Jbero laughed would have been, in their opinion, j.V JWantonly exposing bis weakness to public gaze. "%Ien like "Parson" Weems, renegade preacher and * ^ ,tramp fiddler though he was, had been brought to think that laughing was "wo^se than wiak* ;•.*:--J#d--it was vulgar!" In straining to make their ' ^jpero appear to have been a demigod, those pedan- , .|ic biographers related not what George Waslt« Ington really did, but what they imagined such a boy or man ought to have done under given con­ ditions. Washington # would have laughed hedrtily at Weems' hatchet-and-cherry-tree story if he had ever heard< it--which he never did, for it was not nvented till a later edition of the erring rectorti uvenlle history, six years after Washington's eath. Yet the real hero of the cherry-tree flc-- >4ion would have found it the occasion of gravity as well as mirth. In the stilted story of "Little ifleorge and His Pa," Weems was only carrying »1 |>ut the idea of his time; to tell not what the small !f)oy actually did, but what the consummate little jprig he conceived little George Washington to |iave been would have done if he had cut down his s^! ".^father's favorite cherry tree. If little George Washington had been the insuf- "-3,".. iferable little prig described by Mr. Weems, hjbi i *? jialf-brothers would not have loved him better than their own brothers, or their own children, 1, |jfor that matter. His early life was fuller of eat- • ^iting experiences than any fiction. Yet the life V-fitf young Washington is yet to be told as an ad- Venture story. Even in his quaint little diaries ?ie early discloses a lively sense of humor--saf? *-f4i^ge humor sometimes, but broad and boyish. He * j^howed this by telling only the jokes against hii|i» ' #elf. When he was a lad of sixteen he led /ft sur­ veying party to lay out the lands of his old friend,/ ^I»rd B^irfax, in the wilderness of the Shenan- i.-- x -^oah. Here is one of his own experiences as a; • ftenderfoot," recorded on Tuesday, March 15, ' •,">,t747-«: ; r ; » V "We got our Suppers de waa. lighted Into a jfcoom, and I, not being so good a Woodsman as. V;? "^e rest of my company, stripped myself very or- -'ierly, ft went into ye Bed, as they called It, ; ivhen to my surprise I found it to be nothing but little straw--matted together without sheets or Jnything else but one threadbare blanket, with ouble its weight of Vermin, such as Lice, Fledfe v "I was glad to get up (as so6n as ye light war' parried from us) I put on my Clothes and lay as my Companions. Had we not been very tired, I ' am sure we should not have slept much th§t night." The next night he related that they "had a goM dinner & a good^ Feather Bed, which was a very agreeable regale." ^ In describing »n Indian war dance, he went on, "Some liquor elevating their Spirits put them In ye Humor of Dauncing. Ye best Dauncer jumped about ye ring in a most cornicle Manner!" Others of that wilderness gang told a story ot' • .. the boy surveyor which he waB too modest fed relate about himself--how young George turned the tables on Big Bear, the wily chief, who wds In the habit of holding out his sinewy hand with seeming friendly intent and saying, Indian fash- . ion, "How?" Woe to the unsuspecting white man whose hand Big Bear seized in his terrible grasp, ,« while he laughed in savage glee at the pafrkr> face's anguished contortions. Young Washington had been warned in time. ' He hfid a huge, strong hand of his own and knew a trick or two that he thought he would like tff try on that Indian's wiry claw if he could just get the right hold. His chance came soon enough for Big Beat, who presented a seemingly amicable paw with an innocent "How?" The young surveyor seized the Indian's hand "with such friendly enthsiasm that Big Bear did an agonizing little dunce "In a very comical manner," while the spectators, both white and red, stood by and shouted with glee to see the cruel savage caught in his own trap. Never again did Big Eear show such solicitude for the health of George Washington. At the age of twenty George was the chosen envoy to carry a "notice to quit" from the gov* ernor of Virginia to the French commander en­ camped In the Ohio region. He wrote in his Jour­ nal of that expedition concerning the supper given him by the1 French and Indians at the fort at Ven­ ango: "The wine, as they dosed themselves pretty plentifully with it, soon banished the Restraint which at first appeared in the conversation, and gave a license to their tongues to reveal their sentiments more freely. They told me that it was their absolute design to take possession of the Ohio--and by G they would do it!" At the French fort, while awaiting the com­ mandant's reply, the young envoy from Virginia played a diplomatic game for the friendship of the Indians. When the French plied the Indians with liquor, young Washington promised them guns; and the game of diplomacy, seasoned with savege sauce, went on between the grizzled chevalier, aid , in the arts of war and duplicity, and the young _:Virglnia major, who possessed common sense and jhumor withal. ' ' - ~ Aher the awful slaughter of Fort Duquesne, Into which he had rushed from a bed of fever. In a vain attempt to save Braddock and his army. Major Washington was left in command of the scattered forces. At this time he wrote to his brother "Jack" a. letter, which at least suggests Mark Twain's attitude tcT.urd the "grossly exag­ gerated" story of his own death: . . "Forth Cumberland, 18 July, 1765,,. "Dear Brother: As I have heard, since my * rival at this place, a circumstantial account of my death and dying speech, I take this early oppor­ tunity of contradicting the first, and of assuring you that 1 have not as yet composed the latter. But by the all-powerful dispensations of Provi­ dence I have been protected beyond all human ; probability and expectation, for I had four bullet# through my coat and two horses shot under me, yet escaped unhurt, aitho: death was leveling my companions on every side of me! "We have been most scandalously beaten by a trifling body of men, but fatigue and want of time will prevent me from giving you the details, . until' I have the happiness of seeing you at Mount Vernon. GEORGE." War Is not supposed to develop the latent sense of humor in a commanding general, but Washing­ ton's wit never forsook him. His successful strata­ gems were little more than practical jokes raised to the highest power. They always "worked," and then he waited, laughing in his piilitary ^ sleeve, while his fat-witted enemies tried to play his own tricks back on him. Even in his retreats and escapes from the British--as at Long Island and before Princeton--he laughed and kicked up nimble heels in the face of the sursuing enemy. It was while his headquarters were in Jersey that Washington perpetrated the great Jersey joke still perpetuated by so many millions. He told an English traveler named Weld that he "was never so much annoyed by mosquitoes, for they used to bite through the thickest boot." When the war was over the victorious com­ mander entertained the vanquished general, Lord Cornwallis, at dinner, with, some of the leaders among the French allies. Washington presided. In calling for toasts, Cornwallis, with an oblivi­ ousness of the changed conditions that was truly English, proposed "The King of England" as a subject for high praise. The other guests were in consternation. Would the presiding genius, on whose very head King George had set a price, resent this as an insult? "The King of England," announced the toast- master general, raising his glass. The guests gazed at him, transfixed with astonishment. "Long may he," continued Washington. "--Long may he stay there! ' He pronounced the last two words In a stage whisper, with a shrug and a rueful grimace which made all the company, including Lorn Cornwallis, who now saw his mistake, applaud with hearty laughter; and Washington's ready humor had prevented a disagreeable complication. After the Revolution, Washington was permit­ ted the long-coveted happiness of living peacefully under his "own vine ^ind figtree," as he called It hundreds ot times in as many letters. It is a great mistake to think that his life at Mount Vernon was either stale or stilted. Nelly Custls, his adopt­ ed daughter, is authority for the statement that retired general was always full of gayety and good spirits, surrounding himself with young peo­ ple's company, enpoying their lively conversation, "particularly the Jokes," as he once said Nelly went So far as to claim that she found no one quite so willing to keep pace with her own ex­ travagant spirits as her d°ar, delightful oh1 fos­ ter father. 1 . How Washington did enjoy his home when he ;iwas finally permitted to stay there! Mount Ver- ->|non was a Mecca for pilgrim* from all over the World. He once wrote to Tobias Lear, "Unless some one pops in unexpectedy Mrs. Washington end myself will do what I believe has not within the last 20 years been done by us--that is, to sit down to,dinner by ourselves!" 'II :, fSE 15,000,000 COBS IN PIPES -peculiar Missouri Industry Output for the Year 1912 Was Half Mil- lion Dollars. ^ Millions of corncobs discarded by ' farmers were In 1912 turned into an j«vt ' fivailable and urfeful commodity worth * Siore than' half a million dollars by '1 * gix factories of the state, according *" 'to advance information of the 1912 Ked Book of the bureau of labor sta- .r :paUm- • The industry It one peculiar to Missouri. The commodity is the ordinary corncob pipe. The six facto­ ries produced 28,171,872 cob pipes in 1912. Tlie factories are located three la Washington, Franklin county, and one each In BoonvlUe, Union and Owensville. Shipments were made to Canada, Europe, Asia, South America, Africa, Australia and New Zealand, not In­ cluding the vast quantity sent into ev­ ery state of the unktn. Not less than 15,000,000 corncobs were utilised for the output of 2S,171*872 pipes, allow- / tag two bowls to each cob and figuring | into a solid material having the re- for those which were wasted in the process of manufacture. ; Artificial Weed. French experimenters at work In the city of Lyons have just produced an artificial wood, according to the Amer­ ican consul at that place. The new product has been found after years of study and practical experiments, the most recent of which have given emi­ nently satisfactory results. The pro­ cess consists In transforming straw sistance of oak. The straw, after be­ ing cut into small pieces, is reduced <fto a paste by boiling. Certain chemi­ cals are then added. When the paste has been reduced to a homogeneous mafia it is put into presses, and planks, beams, laths and moldings of all sizes are readily made. This_bew material can be sawed like natural wood. As a fuel it eihits a bright flame and little smoke. It is further said to be adapt­ able to the manufacture of matob , / • > r 'i If yotichew this aftec every meaL ? ' The refreshing ̂ digestion aiding ® mint leaf jtiice does it. $S-:$ 5®t ::m I •/••A!; m m$Ms This dMiip Mttfii! gum purifies your mouth --sweetens your breath* It's a pleasant, inexpensive, beneficial pastime. It brightens teeth besides. vvl^Jr' *5/ " P Vi \ m| -v 'Vt ?"V uv:,; fC % v^'s.; P%H * •-r v, m Mi if* vKf BUYITBY at most dealers., .., for 85 cents "-i,. "Vy ts£ , , . ' ir-- . Each if box contains twenty 5 cent packages Chew it after every meal It stavs fresh until used / V'-'V ' & " t 71 Amusing Truth. The late Franklin Simmons, the fa­ mous American sculptor who recently died in Rome, waB an exponent of the frank, naturalistic method. "How much more amusing the true Is than the ideal," he said one day lu his studio to a correspondent. MTake the case of the little girl. " 'My dear,' the little girl's mother said, 'don't you think you're getting too old to play with boys?' "The little girl frowned in scornful astonishment. '"Why, no, mamma!' she cried Im­ patiently. 'The older 1 get the better I like 'em.'" Shipping Fever Mhm>. nlnk anlaootia. AlMmniMr.ft&d «n BOMUrt Important to mothers Bxamine carefully every bottle oc CASTORLA, a safe and sure remedy for Infants and children, and see that It Bears the Signature of In Use Tor Over 80 Tears. Children Cry for Fletcher* Oaatoria Aw- Not Quiet. "So you live on Long Island. fully quiet, isn't it?" "Oh, no. rYou see, we live op the Sound." Only Onfe •'BROMO QUTNTtfE* * To jet the genuine, call for full naiw, LAXA­ TIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for siccnalore of B. W. GKOVK. Cures a Cold in On. Day. 2SC. Untested virtue is the cheapest com- modity In the world. The uhiverse Is full of men with good Intentions. Cm Seau l;t BiImb for mldbf Mh- Mtlon 1b «jm and Inflammation of mm or velld*. Adv. A woman knows her new hat Isn't becoming to her because her dearest enemy tells her It is. Putnam Fadeless Dyes are the eas­ iest to use. Adv. Every man Is his own else a slave for others. msster or tnlf-'-T*, pink »r». «pi»ootio,*l«to»«Bp«,aBdan doaea of for broc .ttmMUeHM harlag * often ran a «•».. One brood mm*. Acta on th. blood. down bottle*. Drnniatt aadkantww mw aaM^ooisis. SPOBM i BMiaiioLog iata. G jsyrv^jfe. PtottUftiw *Ui :s.ju Disproving a Proverb. Lady Cook (Tennessee Claflin) was talking in Pittsburgh about time's changes. "Woman used to wear the hoop skirt," she said, "and the wind blew it up outrageously. She now wears the slashed skirt, a much more modest affair. "Tlmq changes all things," ended Lady Cool* ' "I said to a young man the other day: M 'Distance lends -enchantment'• " 'But not,' he answered, when you're taking your girl home Ufa tax- icab.'M Be sure the fire Is out before jump­ ing from the frying pan^ "Ready-to-Farm" r-FARMS-i With Yoer Home Already Bulk IN SOUTHEASTERN MISSISSIPPI (70 nP~ froi tbo Galf Coast) Land fenced and cleared ready for the plow, a good new house, barn and deep well--all these advantages on one of our 80-acre " Ready-to-Faum" Fakhs on very easy terms. Five years to pay without interest. No extreme heat or cold. The crops will easily pay for the land. The soil is a saudy loam on which you can raise two field crops and one truck crop, or three truck crops on the Same laud each year- This is your real opportunity for indppendence and hap­ piness. It is the climate and soil far truly successful farming. He run per­ sonally conducted excursions the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of every month 10 see the laud. Write us and we will seud you full m particulars and map of Mississippi freb. & E. A. Cuminiag» & C«-, (Ett. 1869) 40 N. De«- Un St., Chicago, Dtp*. 5. W. L Twang, Mgr. CHILDS' GIANT SUMMER COSMOS U peem«tiy*lw«wam^ •ad knows. Ill mm pntamif tram Job* la Km., aatlt VMS «n,lv|wU<Mnn(iUi* tku tb« f»U C iwh »ln«>.p>nk,w«», il««M,»>a nrii* i»pnt«i >•«•> nl Cr«c* Plnl.,l«l|ii«l fiiiettof all Astera. Pttniy» Orchid-fid, nyvk orchid colors. Prlarow, Fetula, Hiiiiiut l»wkall Tuutu, mmm _ (vhlto). j Ml the--8i* t*atiug Sttd SoveINf for only 10 etmmm totaUMt with no thtllart. Ca|»locu«. Our IIIb C«l-al«»(rtic of K'.cwtr mJ V«? Fltnts aod r«r« n«w Ptuil* FHtB ^11 who arrb We UrgMt growers in the worlj of Cauna*, UU*a ill, eic , >»<! car »l•'«'»* «'o bflM n~! JOHN LEWIS CHILDS. Floral Ptrk. N. Y. NORTH DAKOTA'S large farms aro b<?iD£ r.ipidly cut up. \Ae aretah*-tercsted In the uioveniont, from a bankfre staMS* point of incrvuscd depi'sits ond will render tag assistance possible to prosp«otiTe ponhisers B tou an- a dfrerMtlotl farmer, we want yo«. .If Jen will writo us wo will furnish yon Inforwathwi n>-gardin^ Towner t'ounty. one of the boat hi tte state, where kox! liirois are se'.lini for BMS to IMLCU per acre. Write Towut r County Kaak, Perth. North Dakota or A. A. Hanson M Co.,7* 7 1'lymouth ltldg., mnncspvlia, Mlaa, ;i Ross's piqeon POULTRY BOOK I W« br««d 46 kinOK It kbn lV>ultry. have wort 17 SUvwCtlM and S Medals. Tel'.s How and Wny K-ron Pigeons and hwltrjr fw Prodt Tells about IiioiioUultM Brooders. Tells ttow yo« ou(Ila pair of Giant French Plnoii W a few hours work. Write to4M^ J. W. ROSS CO.. Cent rail*. iWjllS --' HAIR BALSAM A toilet preparation ot owrit Help* to eradicat* danttntC. For Rurtiniaa Color a»J |B«MtytaCnrorFMMHak tae.aadtt,W>atPrnCT<«ML '•,3'.; Floht MM On Their spoil ith s SlomaivH ' wi tb a weak stomach IIP r fighter. It is difficult" anyone, man or womari^ tkm is poor, to succeed in business (M to fjijoy life. In tablet^ hgyid form / pretty sore to be a poor almost impossible--for f f; f , - ' P t o r c t V GOlderiMedlcal Dliieovery helps weak stomachs to strong, healthy action-- helps them to digest the food thut makes the itrooJ^ rich, red blood which nourishes the entire body**, This vegetable remedy,, to a great extent, put^, the lifer into activity--oils the machinery ol the human system bo that those who spend their working hours at the desk, H»inH counter, or in the home are rejuvenated into vigorous health. HARRY THAWS ESCAPE *Pf,r "S& •^fidoD'tyou wriU> tor the movies? MAivi.actJivrsjW 'ittiois |>ay liUloll'J) fbrsiu^l^ulo®. Idr"-7«Q"\ao% jto soil your suirtes. ki'nstintrJ JPIINN. LOOK! USTEM THINH 5.6W) acr»-3 Mack 'Jtid. OK fountv, HO aires iu ^alUTat bou><\ u^uQdaat TEXAS! ,, . SMien-!. li:BBev I'oant'. K >r prlc ran, writ. JOE i.VO.VS, MA IU IN, T* Virginia Farmsand Homes rRUCATA UXJUSOF&PLBNmDBAKUAlNdt a CiUFrLN SCOtiac., UtehiMwa* *•» p&cuardti. -J.H- la litiiii! i or ix ia mon>y fnr it^infit iimubiiisiltv.l 4»Si*r Baa hugtt nM to ataqr thousand* *r~ry ymx te"Hrfnili )*aia.Itcaia kMltkndttMWtk. AS i yon and daabtlwi wtore to you vour jfornw »««* trial box ^ krtk FMMEIS R E A D E R S Diediaits ov'Iuujuh a;vu N llafiftk W. N. U ̂CHICAGO. Ha • y ' ' v