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( ":vf * 74 «?pr<> TTTE TUcTTE^niY ITLAtyrrEALEll. TffcTflSWTtff, Save Your Cash and Your Health ffe- •• CASCARA jtfOUIN INE « r * ™ * * , e , H F * ~ K wm www lorm--«®feE 8«,re8 sso omtttt --€««• cold in 24 hours--grip in S tfajra. Money back if it f«il». Get the ,fera«tt» to with Red top and' Mr. Hill'* picture oa it. Costa lest, give* more, save* money. 34 Tabltti for 25e. AtAnjrDrufSter* Cuticura Soap Ideal For Baby's Sldn F Dr. May's Treatment conquers worst case* of Epilepsy, Spasms, Convulsions, ritrvcu* Disor­ der*, Generous $2.00 bottle sent free. State Agl DR. W. H. MAY, 5*8 FEARJL ST., N. Y. Old Newfoundland. , Newfoundland this year celebrates the four hundred and twentieth anni­ versary of her discovery. In 1497 John Cabot sailed from Bristol on a voyage which was made famous by the finding of Newfoundland. It was not until 1582 that it was formally taken pos­ session of in the name of Queen Elisa­ beth. Many of the fishing boats from that ancient colony took part in the defeat of the Spanish armada. In the present war Newfoundland has given 10,000 men to the service of Britain. 1 V^'^STH'vV EASILY PROVED HIS POINT ^SELF DEFEN8B Inner Requirements. "Mister, have yer got' any ol' duds yer don't want?" "No; but I've an old automobile you may have." Tanks, but I got ernough trouble supplyin' me own Innards widout beg- gin' gasoline from door to door."-- Boston Transcript. Constipation can be eared without drugs. Nature's own remedy--selected herbs--is Garfield Tea. Adv. Homicidal Language on Rifle Ranga. Officer--"Have you anyone else to shoot, sergeant?" Sergeant--"No, sir. I'll shoot myself now."--Exchange. Catarrhal Deafness Cannot Be Cured by local applications as they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There la only one way to cure Catarrhal Deafness, ana that Is by a constitutional remedy. HALL'S CATARRH MEDICINE acts through ths Blood on the Mucous fiurffto?? of the System. Catarrhal Deafness Is caused by an inflamed condition of the mucous lining' of the Eustachian Tube. When this tube Is Inflamed you have a rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and when it is entirely closed. Deafness Is the result. Unless the inflammation can be re­ duced and this tube restored to its nor­ mal condition, hearing may be destroyed forever. Many cases of Deafness are caused by Catarrh, which Is an Inflamed condition of the Mucous Surfaces. ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for any case of Catarrhal Deafness that cannot be cured by HALL'S CATARRH MEDICINE. AU Druggists 75c. Circulars free. F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio. Lucrative. "Papa, why are they always digging «p New York?" "Because there's money in it."--Life. File* Cored In i to 14 Da) ntctnt faila core Itching, Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Fllaa • ' relief. Mc. 1 refund money if PAZO Ol! to cure Itching, Blind, B1 Vint appUeauon glT According to Evidence. Mrs. Bilson (sentimentally) -- It's love that makes the world go 'round. Mr. Bilson (a lawyer)--No wonder It gets dizzy. Important to Mothers Examine carefully every bottle ®I CASTORIA, that famous old remedy for infants and children, and see that it Bears the Signature of In Use for Over 30 Years Children Cry for Fletcher's Castoria God helps them that helps them- aelves. What we call time enQUgh always, proves little enough. "Bvtrr Picfurt Ttlit a Stmy Back Lame and Achy? There's little peace when your kid­ neys are weak and while at first there may be nothing more serious than dull backache, sharp, stabbing pains, head aches, dizzy spells and kidney irregu­ larities, you must act quickly to avoid the more serious trouble, dropsy, gravel, heart disease, Bright's disease. Use Doan's Kidney Pills, the remedy that is so warmly recommended everywhere by grateful users. An Illinois Case A. C&vender, 621 Eighth St., Waukegan, 111., s a y s : " I h a d some pretty bad spells of back­ ache and was al­ most doubled up at tlaies. The kidney secretions were retarded and painful in passage and were filled with sedi­ ment. My feet and ankles swell­ ed and I was suf­ fering Intensely when I began using Doan's Kidney Pills. They cured me, although other medicines had failed." Gat Dtu'i Any Stew. Me * Be* DOAN'S *y,DjiV POSTER-MLBURN CO. BUFFALO. tL Y. If BOl/7Y Could * "• NMort/i prod net ion dwlan aad MKT MNCtHKM CO. W. BmIlM. "TIM Hern Caw Soldier Could Show by Official Mus­ ketry Regulations That He V)H- Entitled.to Leave. A. newly-made N. C. O. was desirous of obtaining leave, so when he ap­ peared before his officer to ask for It. the latter asked him his reason for re­ quiring leave. The N. C. O. replied • at lie wished to see his wife,where­ upon the officer said: "I also/wish to see my wife, but I | wonderful new discovery of Dr. Pierce's cannot 'get leave to do so; vou- must i called "Anuyic." / You should promptly hjive a better rpasnn fh^n thnt " ! heed these warnings, some of which are j / * , , , i dizzy spells, backache; irregularity of the "But, said Wmmy, "I am entitled j urjne Qr the paififul twinges of rheuma- to it." i tism, sciatica or lumbago. To delay may The officer smiled and said- "How make possible the dangerous forms of xne omcer suniea ana saia. mow kid disease, such as Bright's disease, do you make that out?" , diabetes or stone in the bladder. "Well," said Tommy, "If you turn To overcome these distressing condi- up paragraph 319 of musketry regula- tions you should take plenty ^ ». 11 ^ u .. in the open iir, avoid a- heavy meat diet, tions you will see why. • fr£Iy of water and at each meal, "Musketry regulations!" exclaimed 1 take Dr. Pierce's Annric Tablets (double the bewildered officer. "Why musket- strength). You will in a short time, tina ry regulations of all things?" - ^-hat you are one of its firm in orsers. like tb1«j cir " ani<1 Toirimv "It Send Dr. V. M. Pierce, Buffalo. N. Y., It s Uki this,, sir said tommy, it 1Q ceQts for trial packagei 60 cents for says: 'Officers and noncommissioned , large package officers should be given occasional op- j _ T " _T „«„i, 1 Chi ha so, Ii.l.--? I was venules. DEFEAT BACKACHE AND SCiDfMW TROUBLE WITH AMUIIIC. ' B Many people have suffered from rheu­ matism and kidney trouble and have found thai Anurie was the i»o#t successful rera- ! edy to overcome these painful ahd daager- 1 ous ailments. I The lucky people are those who have I suffered, but who are now well because j they heeded nature's warning signal In ; time to correct their trouble with that A*1'. 'e "'SI - - f' ^ PATENTS Fagot lawyer, Waifcin^ioa --SsaiaapoaaMa WgUst 0. Adrte# u iieteMneas. Thrilling Battles With Boats Revealed by Records of the Navy Department By RALPH D. 'PAINE. RE American armed merchant ships really sinking 1 any German submarines? If you care to believe the waterside rumors and fo'castle yarns, one of these devilish marauders Is rammed or blown up 011 every voyage across the Atlantic. In saloons where merchant seamen seek haven and pound the bar with hairy fists «trong liquors magnify the tales, and one concludes that the kais­ er's undersea fleet' must be wiped out by now. The navy's records are less fanciful, strictly adhering to the motto of the man from Missouri. Here is the account of an action fought by a cargo steamer which leaves no room for doubt that one very busy U-boat was suddenly removed from the active list of the imperial German navy. It is advisable to omit the name of the chief boat­ swain's mate who commanded the gun crews. He was promoted to warrant rank as a reward for the feat and Is now stationed ashore, but he may go to sea again In charge of another lot of gun­ ners, and If he should be taken prisoner the enemy would not love him for what he did to a missing submarine. In his official report he states: "Weather hazy. Saw a submarine filing on a topsail schooner, which shortly after blew up. Changed course to bring the submarine on our starboard beam about 5,000 yards distant and lost sight of her In haze. Continued on this course for two hours and then resumed our original course. At 2:55 p. m. the submarine appeared out of tbe haze at 2,500 yards on our starboard beam. She inynediately opened fire. We changed course to bring her three points on the starboard quarter and returned the fire. "The engagement lasted 3T» minutes, during which time the submarine fired about 40 shots, scoring one hit under our port counter a fdot from the water, and causing a leak. W'e fired 27 shots. The twenty-sixth shot was seen to hit her just forward of the forward gun, and a cloud of flame and dark gray smoke burst from the hatches. The crew of the submarine left the gun and rati aft. Almost inslantjy the submarine sank, bow first, the stern lifting high out of the water,- so that the propellers could be seen revolving. The steumer was leaking and temporary repairs were made by the crew." ^ When the ship reached her foreign port of des­ tination and reported the victory an official in­ quiry was ordered by the French government. A naval lieutenant qpnducted it with great care and confirmed the verdict of the American gunners. The steamer fought with the American flag flying, he stated in his written opinion, firing 27 shots In half an hour. The distance increased about 100 meters for each shot. The twenty-sixth shot ex­ ploded, producing a thick black smoke, which was visible to all on shlpbonrd. Such an explosion must have been produced In the submarine itself. He said, in summing up the evidence: "The result of the inquiry is that (he fight has been very well conducted and that the men have shown a very fine spirit, doing honor to the Amer­ ican navy. The conclusion may be drawn that the submarine was hit and probably sunk." This was first-class shooting, the submarine steadily drawing away until when struck she was 5,000 yards, and more, or three land miles from the steamer. Binoculars and telescope sights en­ abled the gunners to distinguish her with clear­ ness and to note the effects of the shell which ended her wretched career. It was her command­ er's intention to move beyond range and continue the action on the chance that lie had (he bigger guns, but he miscalculated, and paid the price. It seemed a cruel slant of fortune that this American steamer, which so brilliantly bagged a submarine, should have*accidentally burned at sea on her next voyage. There was no time to si retcil hose or muster the crew. Ablaze in nn instant, she was one vast furnace while the men raced for the boats with death at their heels. All hands got away, including the navy gunners, and their cruise in open boats was made without severe suffering. It was all in the day's work. Very similar to this successful encounter was the adventure of the steamer Silver Shell. In this instance also the French ministry of marine added its opinion that the submarine had probably heen hit and sunk. The chief gunner won promotion shortly after this statement was issued by Secre­ tary Daniels: ••William J. Clark of New York, chief turret cap­ tain and commander of the naval gun crew of the Silver Shell, is deserving of promotion, which we are nw considering. Ail the other members of the crew, as well, and what they have done, deserve great credit and distinction. The chief turret cap­ tain is a very capable man. He is an enlisted man who has seen nearly 12 years of service in the navy and has won successive promotions by proven capacity. For his work he deserves the very beat that can be done for him." Here was a man fit and ready for-his job, and he knew how to put his own spirit and experience into the team play of his gunners. An American naval officer of high rank detailed on special duty at a French post conducted an inquiry and found pleasure. In writing to Washington that "the ma* ter of the Silver Shell was particularly enthusiastic over the splendid work of the turret captain and the entire naval gun crew; he also states that his mi whole crew displayed a most commendable spirit during the battle." This is precisely as It should be, bluejackets and merchant seamen standing together, fighting the enemy as one intrepid American crew, and the Stars and Stripes hoisted at the first shot hy order of the skipper. Chief Gunner Clark had the honor to report to the navy department: "As the submarine displayed no flag and was coming nearer, we fired a shot. The submarine, which was then about 7,000 yards away, replied immediately with what seemed to me, on account ot Ihe range, a six-inch gun. Her first shot fell amidships about 100 yards short. We changed our course due west, increasing speed. The sub­ marine followed us, keeping up fire. The fight lasted from 6 o'clock until about 7:80 p. m. We fired 25 shots. The submarine fired over 30, in­ cluding some shrapnel toward the end, which ex­ ploded astern of our ship too high to do any daro- age. "Our last two shells seem to have hit the sub­ marine in the forward part. A few seconds later her bow jumped up, and she went down, stern upward at an angle of about 45 degrees. The sub­ marine did not come up again, and 1 believe it was sunk then and there. No damage was done to our ship, and there were no casualties." The steamer was still within effective range of the big guns of the submarine, which could have had 110 other reason than a sudden attack of acute illness for vanishing in this abrupt manner. It seems fairly conclusive that a shell blew her part­ ly out of water, and then she went lunging and foundering into the depths. The steamer did not stop to search for traces of the disaster, but sen­ sibly continued a lung on her course. Tankers filled with millions of gallons of gasoline do not linger in the war zone. The American passenger liners, maintaining their service almost as regularly as in time of peace, would naturally run the gantlet much qften- er than the same number of cargo boats. They sail on an express schedule and spend little time In port. It is no secret that they are fast and well armed, able to whip a submarine in a fight with guns. The deadly torpedo Is another matter, but speed has so far been a saving factor. It Is what the gunners on board call "the sporty life," nor can it be recommended to people with nervous sys­ tems as a restful vocation. For example, one of these liners, during the first six months of war, made only one perfectly tame and routine voyage. During all ner other trips across there were fights with submarines or escapes from torpedoes. Extracts from the navy department's reports of these steabiers may be chosen almost at random as interesting rending with a-thrill in it. These are fair samples of what it means to make the Atlantic voyage, which is no longer a common­ place, soothing "ocean ferry." o"The lookout in the lower crow's nest, a cox- ' swain of the naval guard, picked* up an oil slick ahead, which veered off to port at right angles to the ship's course. Following the slick, which was about the width of a ship, he suddenly saw the I>eriscope ot a submarine appear at the end of it, about one foot out of the water. He instantly sung out, 'Periscope,' and the next moment, 'Tor­ pedo,' for,the submarine had been exposed scarcely more than a second when xhe fired a torpedo. The enemy was then about 000 yards from the ship and three-fourths point forward of the beam. "The torji^lo was running straight, but appar­ ently having trouble In maintaining its depth, for when about 200 yards off 1 saw a streak, then at a depth of about five feet. It dived and passed under the ship about 80 feet from the stern. Soon after heading away from the submarine we picked up an abandoned lifeboat two points off the star­ board bow. The submarine had apparentl> been lying near the life boat, and oil seeing us approach had headed off to assume a position for attack on our port side, probably expecting us to pick up the .lifeboat and thus miss seeing him. hortuuately, however, the oil sllcfewns sighted first. "The old hands among the gunners paid no at­ tention to the torpedo, which was coming right for them, but made every effort to get the guns o^ the target, which was, the Submarine's periscope. What might be called a close shave befell anoth­ er steamer on the return voyage. "There were several other ships In the vicinity, runs the report, 'including two tankers and a de­ stroyer and two or three tramps. Suddenly a perl- scope was sighted a quarter of a mile away, show­ ing up plainly J||fthe streak of moonlight on the ""water. The'Subjiuarine seemed to be " just coming up and had probably misjudged the speed of the steamer, ̂ havjng seen her sonv£ ^ime earlier. • Be­ fore a torpedo could be fired .orjthe guns manned, the steamer was right on top' of the submarine, which submerged. The^^ier officer threw the helm hard over and went straight for him, hoping to ram him. But no shock was felt when the ship passed over the spot, so in all probability the submarine was able to dive deep enough to escape being lilt." ' There was precious little room to spare in this adventure, but It was surpassed by a liner, for­ merly a favorite ship among Atlantic pilgrims, now carrying cargoes to the allies. A blanket of fog covered the sea in the early morning. It lifted a trifle, and a very much surprised submarine popped up dead ahead of the lunging prow. She let fly a torpedo in a wild flurry, at the steamer s side with­ out exploding. A moment iater the submarine Itself went humping and scraping along the other side of the vessel, whose officers, sailors, and gun­ ners stared straight down at It and uttered the deep and hearty curses of the sea. They would have"swapped their souls for a few bombs to drop in remembrance. Grimy stokers poked their heads through the open ports and spat at the conning tower, or passionately scrambled for lumps of coal and slice bars to heave at the blankety-blank thing.. Then the fog swallowed It up and the Incident was closed. •< For hard fighting and the dogged. courage that we rightly ascribe to (he men of the American navy, the story of the Morenl and Chief Petty Offi­ cer Andrew Cdpassaki, commanding the armed guard, is one of those which shines nndlmmed In defeat. German sailors cheered him and his men from the deck of a submarine when he finished „ with his ship on fire and a cargo of gasoline about to blow him to kingdom come. He was made a war­ rant officer for devodon to duty and determination to fight as long as she floated. A summary of hla report to the navy department was given out short­ ly after it was received. For wanton brutality there is the report of the loss of the American schooner Childe Harold off the French coast. Unadorned, the episode is thus •described: "At daybreak an object reported by the mate was believed to be the square sails of a ship hull down. The glasses showed it to be the superstruc­ ture of a submarine one mile away. (The Childe Harold was unarmed.) The submarine opened fire, :tnd the shells ripped through the schooner's hull and sails. The master ordered the crew into the motorlnunch and lowered away. This was plainly visible to the submarine, which had come much nearer. She continued to fire, however, evi­ dently at the bout in the water, which escaped be­ ing hit. The captain and his crew were ordered alioaid the submarine and noticed that the cap ribbons of the sailors bore the letter 'U-19' and 'U-17.' Tw o of the officers spoke excellent English, and Captain Byrne of the schooner informed them that , the firing was totally unnecessary and that he had not expected such dastardly treatment from any white men. "The conversation developed the fact that the communder.of the submarine knew the date of sail­ ing of the Childe Harold from an American port and was on the lookout for her. He had also re­ ceived Information of the departure of the four- master Allda B. Crosby and (he three-master A. V. Sherman on the same date, all three vessels hav­ ing passed out to sea together. He wanted to know where the other schoonera were. According to his schedule they should have shown up by this time. "The Germans looted the Childe Harold and seemed very hungry. They had only coffee and dry bread for breakfast aboard the submarine. After fetching ail the stores In the launch, they put the captuin and his crew in the boat again, which was stove and half full of water. The schooner was set 011 fire. Her people were res^ cued by a steamer. Captain Byrne is anxious to try it again." A robust American shipmaster, this skipper of the Childe Harold, who told the Germans to their faces what he thought of them and was eagei: to • have another fling at it! portunities of revising their Iropres- and sp»neache. sions 6f the human figure at known j distances, and should be encouraged to j use small-scale maps as a guide "in j judging.' "--Pearson's Weekly. ^ ••War Use of Cattaiia. High explosives require so much cotton In their manufacture that ex- i perimenters hay® been casting about for a substance tefreplace it. It remained/for Charles Goard, a Denver 'inventor, to discover that the floss of cattairp can be substituted for guncotton In the making of ammuni­ tion. Germany, It Is reported, has for some time relied upon cattails to take the place of cotton In the manufacture of explosives. Had iad used a number of remedies. Finally, I began taking Dr. Pierce's Anuric Tablets, and they havs helped mo very much. I have also used Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets, and they are, wonder­ fully active in their work. I am feeling well and robust ana have the strength *.* ten. To al' '» no are similarly afflicted I cheerfully r>f,i,Tn- mend tne use of Dr. Pierce's Meo ^e."-- Edwin A. Novotnt, 1160 W. 19th Street. Doctor Pierce's Pellets are the original little Liver Pills. One little Pellet for » laxative--three for a cathartic. Son W druggists (or nearly 60 years. ^ W. N. U., CHICAGO, NO. 3-1918. "fi AN ATOM A SMALL WORLD. In a paper concerning the functions of tile minute electrical charges in the chenii^l comb! nation of atoms, delivered by prof. William Al bert No yes of the University of Illinois, before . the National academy at Washington, he said that for a century the atom was the ultima thule of 'smallness for scientists. Now- they know that eat-h atom is a complex system similar to our sun and its planets, that is, with-a central body and from one to a hundred smaller bodies revolv­ ing around It. The differences between hydro­ gen. oxygen. Iron, gold, radium, elc.. are all in the electrical charge of the central nucleus and In the „ number and arrangement of these little satellites of thefr atoms. . , - • i * •-- ' UNACCOMMODATING WELLS. In the desert of western Australia' there are wells which yield water only at night. Before the water begins to (flow, weirdi hissings and the sound of rushing air may be heard. The phe­ nomenon is believed td'be due to a change in the form of the rocky channel through which the wa­ ter flows, and to the extreme change iiK tempera­ ture between day and night which occurk In this region. The hissing is due to the escape of^alr be­ fore the advance of the water.--Popular Science Monthly. ^ WntaoB •. Coleman. ... Washington, drte# and book* In* When One Chinaman Prayed. In "Rough Hearts--But Gentje Handa," in the American Magazine, the author of the'story writes: pregnant hush filled the room, ind I held Maria closer to still her trembling. Then a voice broke the sl- ^nce: " 'You not know me, God. I just )uck Sing. China cook on 'Llso Lan- jio, and we not want to talk about us. -ut one time in mission long time ago, i:m toll me "God is love," and that he Alio care of good man after be go away from this world, and so we Jusi want to tell you about tlds mail. Led Antone. Him good man, God. Maybe you not been lound Topa Top^ coun- tlee velly much, and so not^lainted alound here, but we live here know Led Antone is good, ban', good papu, gbod to work Is good as any man can be Topa countlee. He wnnts find h wife, so you please help him, 'cause thnt make him happy, and he "good man. We goin' take care his little boy nn' girl, so you not have to wolly about God. Excuse China cook for ^so long but we want to tell you at/out Lew Aiitoper^" Good-by.- Amen. "^n we/6pened our eyes a tran­ quil sniilK^sfnoothed out the wrinkles Anj\ ^ntone's face. rla." •-j : He was with his WouldVSave Wrttt Gases. Rorrresentarlves of boards of trade rtntr similar organizations in the an- thracite_ rojLTiptK of Pennsylvania w ei e urged by"j^wv^fchi^Brumbaugh recen; ly to conservation of life and natural resources, says the Philadel­ phia Public Ledger. » . The primary purpoae op the meet­ ing was to obtain Ideas to use the waste gases of the hard coal mines. The governor declared: "If we cai» harness this power we can change the complexion of your Industrial life, ship coal and receive more money." The governor said that nearly 72.- 000.0U) cubic feet of gas. or 148,000,- 000 horse power. Is Tost every 24 hours in the anthracite tietd. CARTERS ITTLE Tour liver Is the Best Beauty Dafctor A doD, yellow, lifeless skin, or pimple* and eruptions, are twin brothers to constxpatioa. Bile. tiatufe'a own laxative, ia setting into you* blood instead of pasting out of your ayatera •a it should. This :• tne treatment, in suc­ cessful use for 50 yean -- one pill daifar (mote only when nsctseaty). Carter's little liver POls For Constipation Geauiaa bears slgnaiare FMi You Right Over Night M ifeShower1 rftMd coming to farmers from the rich wheat fields of Western Canada. Where you can fc«y i®"" at |1S t© $30 per acre and raise from 20 to 45 rasnett ol wheat to the acre it's easy to make money. Canada offers in her provinces of Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta 160 Acn Homesteads Free to Settlers ̂ and other land at very low prices. Thousands of fanners from the U. S. or their sons are yearly taking advantage of this great opportunity. Wonderful yields also of Oats, Barley and Flax. Bflxed Famdng is fully as profitable an industry as grain raising. Good schools; markets convenient; climate excellent. Write for literature and particulars as toreduced railway rates to Supt. Immigration, Ottawa, Canada, or to C. A Broagktaa, Room <11. lit W. Adaaa ttagai Ckicftio< III.; Mc V. ITw . AT«ua. Detr«itt Mich. Canadian < Joveriiment Agents Stamps Replace Pennies in Stores. In view of the Increasing shortage of pennies, a movement to. give post­ age stamps as change has been in­ augurated in Minneapolis department stores. Several stores reported that they had started such a plan and that It was working successfully. Shortage of pennies In the Northwest has be­ come so acute that bankers In small towns have declared an embargo on coppers, according to Minneapolis bankers. Repeated pleas to the sub- treasury In Chicago have been made by local banks, but their requests trir pennies have met with little or no re­ sponse.--Minneapolis Tribune. Constipation, indigestion, sjck-headache and bilious conditions are overcome by a course of Garfield Tea. Drink on retiring. Adv. . "Carry On!*! "They're loaded down Hke pack ani­ mals, their shoulders are rounded, they're weary to death, but they go on and on. They're not heroes, but only very tired men determined io 'carry on.'" Thus a writer from the front describes them. But they are heroes. Men who have "the amazing guts to wear their crown of thorns as though it were a cap and bells;" men who slip and slidder about in the treacly mud of the trenches and shiver on cold downs and sleep in verminous dugouts, and face death and the "trip west" calmly and unafraid; men whose splendor is in their souls.--Liv­ ing Church. By the Court Calendar. "EJdgar?" "Yes, mother." "What are you children doing?" » "Playing royalty. I am a knight of the Garter, and Edwin Is Saturday." "That is an odd name for royalty." "Oh, it Is just a nickname on ae-, count o/f his title." "Whriit is his title?" "Night of the Bath."--Youngstown Telegram. Nothing But Trouble. "There Is no occasion for you envy me," said the prosperous E son. "I have as many troubles yon." "I s'pose ye have, mister,'*' admi Dismal Dawson, "but the difflcul with me is that I ain't got an; else." It doesn't pay to bunko a woman whose only asset is a gift of gab. j Some people are Wjdest when sine nnd there's a reason why. Watch Your Calves At the first indication of SooniS 0* clwieni kItb them I>r. David Robert#' Calf Cboler* Remedy For scours m oattlr, horses and I I'sed aod tecv'iided by * sands of dairymen and Mockowaai% Read (he Practk-il Home VrMriaariaS tar tteekM «• ItnUii b CmS If no deai. s in your town, wiita lr. Dairi Robertr Vtt Co.. 1M SruMi Avtass, Maila Mii MOTOt LATEST NEW YORK SONC HH Hia Present. "Well, wifle, today's my birthday." **Oh, goody--goody! Can I have a new hat,* dear?"--People's Home Jour­ nal. ' <- Men are what their mothers mads them.' -X He ftfating. at livqs uppn hope will DC EC TO »'• -V Ovt Thei'? c S. v LATEST 3R0ADWAY - _ "-VSIC 5c«VlCE MOTH El MAY'S SHEET NWDERSmcmLMBt Relieve VeTerUbaeaa, OooiUp* t .on .Colds &nd eorraet dteordeiMt the stomach bowels- U--dIff } Wi>(k*n '#•" »/»**r> DruggiMk mailed I'KBt Ay UK drvs* A. S. OLMSTED. La fta* ft. IRRITATING COUGHS. Fremptly trmt eoogtuu cold*, bronchitis and similar inflaatcd aad irriUfc conditions of the throat with a tasted t J ' -'V'- •