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"rt"J t 'Hr* **• . + f"T ft. I' •: w$r.# ^ 1 T •* ^ v . -t ~iv, . v ?•< R?V ,t.'• *• <yr *<.< <-*»> '"- -M ye>\ <*•"'• ' ' .' * ... : _,V^ # * %t!- THI M'BKKST PLAOTDKALKt, TOTUD4T, 8XPT. t, »»' ' ^ '"^S§S ir:*# ** ' iteP Historic Valley The Shenandoah mil ex it mora than 100 miles long and varies In width from 20 to SO miles; included " within Its area an Berkeley and Jefferson counties, W. Vs., and Frederick; darks, Warren, Shenandoah, Page, Rockingham and Augusta connties, Va. • --sl ' v>t joHMSBima Wtrdy 'CMmm Follt'iw... ^ tn China when a subscriber rings rip fte telephone exchange the operator asks: "What number does the honorable son of the moon and stars desire?" After a short silence the exchange resumes, "Will the honorable person graciously forgive the lnadeifcUcy of the Insignificant service and permit this humble slave of the wire fee Inform him that the never-to-be* •efficiently censured line Is engaged V. :m i •/' Checkers Old P»«time fame of draughts or checkers to said to be of the greatest antiquity, Piecei? of checker boards and men have teen found In tombs of Egyptian rulers of a day not later than 1600 B. A Some of these are at present preferred ia the British museum. H<v tner in his '"Odyssey" speaks about this game being played by the suitors of Penelope. : ' f; * - jv.u •;S Ttkclei World la H»l ' / The Koran, sacred book of 210,000;- *00 Mohammedans--and the basis of their education and their life's guide *"ta all matters of faith, morals and Jurisprudence--leaches that the world_ ,1» flat--Collier's Weekly. N. J. NYE, ML D. \ •;*; ... "•'& "'. Ofcli'il" Hours, daily, sJ-10 a. n».f- 1-3 p. m~ Evenings, 7-9, on Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays. Phone 62-R McHenry X-&ay Laboratory and Physio Hierapy \ W. A. NTE, M. S. Office Hours, daily, 11-12 a. m. $-6 p. m. Evenings 7-9, on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Phone 62-R •;. McHenry GONNEL M. McDERMOTT ATTORNEY-AT-LAW „ Bears: 8:30 to 11 a. m.; 1:30 to 5 p.*. Evenings, 7 to 8 r . Stilling Bldg. Riverside Drive TWL McHenry 258 McHenry, ID. flkone Richmond 16 Dr. JCKN DUCET VETERINARIAN TB and Blood Testing MCHMOND, ILLINOIS 'ii • • ; • SENT & COMPANY " All Kinds of r INSURANCE Plaeed with the most reliable Companies . Come in and talk it over "hone McHenry 8 telephone No. 108-9 Stoffel & Reihanaperger Insurance agents for all classes of property in the best companies. WEST McHENRY ILLINOIS Insure-In Sure-Insurance WITHWm. G. Schreiner Auctioneering ' OFFICE AT RESIDENCE Bust 93-R ; McHenry, IfffaRs S-'v." I ' • " A. P. Freund Excavating Contractor Trucking, Hydraulic and Crane Service l*>a4 ^uildiiig TeL 204 M McHenry, 111. "'T . ' • spi/.i'- Ed Vogel " GENERAL AUCTIONEER FARM SALES A SPECIALTY P. O. Solon Mills, 111. _ ^ x Reference Past Sales SATISFACTION GUARANTEED Evelyn Mteyers spont Wednesday with Miss Holes Blank at Crystal Lake. t Miss Betty Regner of McHenry is spending • few days with Eugene King. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Pepping of •Crystal Lake were callers here Thursday evening. Miss Gertrude Williams and Miss Wanda Smith of McHenry were visitors at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Petep Williams Wednesday afternoon, Mrs. John King of McHenry, Mr. and Mrs. William J. Meyers and daughter, Evelyn, motored to Kenosha, Wis., Tuesday afternoon. Miss Mabel King of McHenry visited with her parents, Mr. and Mrs, Joe King, Wednesday- Joe Schmitt of Beloit was a caller here Wednesday. Mr; and Mrs. Joe P. Miller , W*re Volo callers Thursday. Mrs. William J. Meyers, daughters, Evelyn and Annabelle, motored to Waukegan Thursday, Gabby Hartrnerit of Chicago was a caller here Thursday. ; > Mr. and Mtau Peter Freutfd aitd family were Waukegan shoppers Thursday. - ; William H. Althoff of McHenry was caller here Thursday. Jacob Steffes of McHenry was a caller at . the hcaii 'of Willi®® JMeyers'Thursday. Mr. and Mrs. Joe King, daughter Eleanor, and Mrs. Steve King, son, Eugene, visited with Mr. and Mrs. Jack Theis at McHenry' Thursday evening. William J. Meyers motored to Woodstock Friday. George Justen and Mike Degen ct McHenry were callers here Saturday. Ralph Schroder of Chicago is spending a few days in the home of John Pitzen. Mr. and Mrs. Jimmie Chamberln and daughter, Bernice, motored to Chicago Thursday., Mrs. Stfeve May and Mrs. William J. Meyers motored to Woodstock Monday. 5 • - 0-%, Mike Degen, Les|pfeimer and John King ft-ere callers at the home of Joe King Monday. , Mr. Nolan and daughters of Harvard were Sunday, evening callers here. Bernard Althoff of Wheatland, Wis., spent Sunday with her parents, Mr. and "Mrs- William Althoff. Miss Lauretta Meyers from Chicago visited with her parents Saturday evening and Sunday. Mrs. Christine Brefield of "Chicago spent Friday witfi Mrs. Katharine Tonyan. Mrs. Delbert Smith of McHenry visited with Mr. and! Mrs- Ben J. Schssfcr Ssturdsy. . Miss Julia Weingart of Chicago visited with her mother, Mrs. Jacob Weingart, Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Earl J. Turner, Ralph and Harold Schaefer motored to Chicago Sunday morning. Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Steffes of McHenry and Mr. and Mrs. John Bohmen of Wilmette visited with ,Mrs. Steve King Saturday evening. Mr. and Mrs. Ray Horich of Woodstock spent Sunday evening with Mr. and Mrs. Stephen H. Smith. Miss Catharine and Miss Elizabeth Baer of Chicago spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Fred Smith. Mis Katharine Althoff of Elgin spent Sunday with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. William Althoff. Louis Adams and son of McHenry were callers here Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmitt and family of McHenry, spent Sunday at the home of Mr- and Mrs. John M. Schmitt. Mr. and Mrs. Louis Althoff and family of McHenry spent Sunday evening with Mr. and Mrs. William Althoff. Mrs. Peter M. Wagner and daughter of Mundelein visited at the home of her parents, Mr. and Mrs. William Althoff, Thursday afternoon. Miss Marie Mertes and Miss Laura Schaefer attended the Milwaukee Fai* j one day last week. Mr. and Mrs. Henry Stoffel of Volo I were! visitors at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Frank Pitzen Sunday evening. John E. Freund and son, Vernon, of McHenry were recent callers at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Castor MAdams. Mr. a:nd Mrs. Williant J. Meyers and family spent Sunday at Kenosha Park. . -n « Miss Marie ^Pepping of Crystal Lake is spending a few days' vacation at the#home of Mr. and Mrs. Joe B. Hettermann. , Leo Lay of Spring Grove wis a caller here Sunday evening. Miss Rosemary Hettermann is visiting with Lorraine Pepping at Crystal Lake a few days this week. Mr. and Mrs. Ben Schmitt and daughter of McHenry were visiting at the home of their mother, Mrs. Elizabeth Tonyan, one night this week. » Mr. and Mrs. William Althoff and son, Bernard, motored to Crystal Lake Sunday morning. Mr. and Mrs; Mike Gorshi of Wood stock spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Joe P. Miller. , Mr. and Mrs. John Bohmen of Wiljmette and Mr. and Mrs. John King of McHenry were callers at Mr. «ad Mrs. Joe King Sunday afternoon. Fable of Revising and Reforming Footbdl -v. 88 I By GEORGE ADE t i: I \v-r S. H. Freund & Son CONTRACTORS AND BUILDERS Phone 127-R McHenry Oqr experience is at Ypur Service in building ? Your Wants 1 Archery Practice Ruins House Walls San Mateo, Calif.--Even the rain didn't stop Uobert MacCollister and his little bow and arrow. When the rain began to fall MacCollister moved his target practice Into the house. A wall, MacCollister found, made an excellent target for his arrows. But Mr8.' Robert Person, owner of the home in which MacCollister was living, objected. She told the court her walls were pockmarked with arrow holes. MacCollister paid to have the room repjastered. (©. H«il Syndicate.)--WNU S«rvtc«. T CAME about that many Colleges awoke to Life ln^ the Fall and loud Yelps echoed up and down the leafy Streets which had been somnolent since June. Local Cops began tp wear worried Looks. The dealer In Hot Dogs8 bought a new set of Tires for his Smoke-Wagon. Every College widow put away her light Summer Reading and started In to take Setting- Up Exercises in Prospect of another long Season of clinching and wrassling in the Modern Dances. Within the cloistered Precincts of Doollttle College^ which is on tie Shores of Lake Pasquaby, the Members of the Faculty were anxiously scanning the Registration and wondering if all the Good Friends of the School were in Health or whether one or two might pop off and leave enough Coin to build a new Physics Lab and an Assembly Hall. At the very same time nearly all of the Young Mfen were out at the Practice. Most of them were haggard with Anxiety and the Brows were furrowed like Wash Boards. They were sizing up the Onions, hoping to discover among them an embryo "Red" Grange. All of them were extremely embryo but not one of them looked as if he could take the Ball In any Direction except by General Agreement. So they cursed the Alumni for not dlgplng up and sending in a lot of Giants who lived on Red Meat and growled like Police Dogs. Doolittle had been getting along for Years on half-portions of Hope: Every" September a few vagrant Expectations would spring up in the Hearts of the Faithful and It would be announced that the Eleven was getting ready to massacre the 'Normal School and Patchmore Business College, to say nothing of the State University. Before Thanksgiving the Hospital would be full of bunged-up Warriors, nursing fractured Limbs and pitiful Alibis. Where There Is Life There Is Hope. Dpolittle was too proud to play High Schools and too puny to stop Truck Horses who played in the Conference and that Is why the Trustees and Others often had debated as to the Wisdom of doing away with Intercollegiate Sports altogetherc and permitting the Student Body to individually acquire Courage and Strength by going Into the Woods to hunt Botanical Specimens. Poolittle was sure in a Bad Way when it began to talk about-tprtttlng Cold on Football. Nobody ever heard of an Institution getting ready to cut out Athletics until after it had been booted all over the Lot and then heaved over the Fence. Those who say they are going to stop playing Football, have not, as you might say, played it. They have figured as Punching Bags, and this Thing of being kicked in the Face for the Glory of Alma Mater while all the Rooters are weeping, is one Job which can get to be awful tedious. Notwithstanding which the GradS and the Kids alike were for hanging on. They figured that some Day a Miracle might happen and the Heavens would open, dropping down on the Campus an End who would kick the Egg a Mile, and two Halves who were good for Ten Seconds In their Suits, and two Ends who were always on Top of the Ball instead of looking in the Opposite Direction, and a Line which would be a Stone Wall Instead of a Strip of Tissue Paper. The whole Layout didn't look any too Jake early this September when the Squad lined up. To add to the Horror of the Situation, on that very day it was suggested to the Faculty by Prof. Philo Guthrie, of the Department of Umpscicology, that certain Local Rules should be enforced, so as to rob the Sport of all Roughness, Bloodshed and Assault with Intent to Murder. The Suggestions embodied In the Resolution presented by Prof.* Guthrie are given in Detail herewith as they are to be submitted to the Intercollegiatfe Association next Summer with a very powerful Backing fnoia , the Pacifist Element. Nursery Football,* The first of the Guthrie Rules Is that no Student shall be permitted to play on the Team unless tie has studied so hard that he will be too weak to hurt any one. Also, each Contestant is required to wear his Horn-Rim Glasses, because, in nearly every State, it Is a double Offense to soak a man wearing Spectacles. If the Members of the Opposing Team adopt Brutal Tactics they can be arrested by Constables and taken before a Justice of the Peace and, while they are absent, the Home Team can score at Will and Put the Game on Ice. To avoid all the scrambling and piling up, which so often results in Bruises and Injuries, It is proposed by Dr. Guthrie that, at the Opening of Play, the Umpire shall think of a Number between 1 and 50 and each of the Captains shall guess at the Num ber and the one who makes the better Guess shall be permitted to move the I?all 10 Yards into the Opposing Territory, and carefully place It on the Groutfd without Interference. After that, each Team shall designate a Player to step forward and answer certain Questions regarding the League of ^ationa, thqse Questions to be previously prepared by a Joint Committee of Instructors, representing the two schools. The 9lde giving the more lucid and satisfactory Replies shall be permitted to execute a Forward Pass of 20 Yards after the opposing Team has retired to the Side-Lines. Once more the Elevens line up In the usual Formation and each Captain shall count off his Men, using the familiar Verse : Onery, Owery, ickery Ann I Phiieson, Phoiesoa, Nicholas Queevy, Quay, • English navy, i. , StinklunvStanklum, I-O-U Buck! The Player who is pointed out on the Word "Buck" shall then be known as "It" and he shall face the Player similarly selected by the Opposing Team and try to stump him both in Greek and Calculus. It shall be the Duty of the Referee to name the Winner in this Scholarship Contest If the Team given the Award already has the Ball then the Player known as "It" shall be permitted to plant the Ball back of the Goal for a Touch Down. If the opposing Team holds the Ball then the Winner Is given the Ball and ;the other Team is penalized 30 yards. Taking the Kick Out of the Game. In order to vary the Tactics and retain some of the former Excitement, the next Play shall be known as the "Tag Play." The Captain of the Team holding the Ball shall order It given to the Player who did not miss one Recitation during the preceding Semester. He will be given an Open Field and Permitted to run with the Ball, but if any opposing Player overtake^ ..him and slaps him on the Back and says, "Tag," he will lose the Ball unless he has his Fingers crossed at the time. If he has failed to cross his Fingers, the Whole Thing counts just the same as an Off-Side Play and he can retain the Ball only by answering three Psychology Questions which may be propounded by any of the opposing Players. If any Player uses hard Language or actually takes hold of any opposing Player* he shall be retired and put Into a Compartment on the Side- Lines known as the "Bone Yard" and kept there until the Captain of his Team answers 5 Questions in Chemistry, without laughing. To avoid Confusion, it will be assumed that each Touch Down is followed by a successful Kirk for <5oai ^ - Upon resuming Play after a Touch -Down all of the Players, except the two Full-Backs, shall join Hands in a Circle and the two Full-Backs shall be blindfolded >nd put into the Center. While the Players are singing "London Bridge is falling down," the Full-Back whose Team has been scored against must catch the Full-Back of the other Te«m and call him by his First Name within 30 seconds, in which Gase his Team will be given tee Ball in the Center of the Field. Otherwise, the Ball goes to the Opposing Team on their own 20-Yard Line. And so on. All Spectators will be required to remain absolutely Quiet during the Mental Tests. It must be explained that the Guthrie Revised Rules are still in- the Rough, but It will be seen that they are going to debrutalize a very rough Sport as soon as they are approved by all of the Athletic Associations. MORAL: To prevent overcrowding a Stadium, make it Lady-Like, r ^ ~ Movement to Develop Modern Farm Building Evolution of modern farm building types, especially adapted for the different regions of the country, is in prospect as a result of the regional farm - structure - planning movement which has been inaugurated in the corn belt thie year, the United States Department oKAgriculture says. The program,|which will co-ordinate the work of suite agricultural engineers in a specific region with the research work done by the federal bureau ^f agricultural engineering, will also tend to eliminate the possible duplication of plans for farm buildings which frequently takes place when states work alone. The object is to develop the types of farm structures which are best suited for the region in which they are used. The movement to study f^rm structures on a regional basis is considered a significant step in the efforts of the agricultural engineers of the department to work out a system for the In-, terchange of plans, specifications, and other information about farm buildings, thus making the research in each state available to all the others. aorowooD The Greenwood Dorais Society entertained the Home Circle at the home of Mrs. Arthur Peet Wednesday. A very pleasant afternoon was spent by those able to attend. Mr. and Mrs. Frank Dix report the arrival of a daughter born Sept. 4th. Miss Grace Schott of Chicago spent the week-end with Mrs. L. E. Hawley and family. Mr. and Mrs. Byron Hitchens of Chicago were callers In the F. AHitchens home Saturday. Ralph Clay and daughter Maxine Betty and Dorothy Peet drove to Rockford Saturday and met Mrs. Mrs. Hattie Clay of Apple River who spent Sunday in the Ed. Peet honie. Mr. and Mr*, George Young and children spent Wednesday at Lincoln Park- Mr. and Mrs. A. E. Hawley of Elgin spent Saturday in the Lewis Hawley home. Mrs. Letah Davis and son Eugene of McHenry were Sunday guests in tha George Shepard Home. Mr, and Mrs. Joe Weber and children of McHenry spent Sunday in the Nick Young' home. Mr. and Mrs. Roland McCannon and son and Mr, ai\d Mrs. C J. Jepson a«d daughter Virginia attended the Huson reunion at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Lee Huson at Mundelien Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Charles Schroeder of Manitowoc Wis. are visiting in the: Ellen Hall home. Mr. and Mrs. Axil Carlson and family of, Woodstock spent Friday afternoon in the Clayton Bruce home. Mr. and Mrs. Leon Dodge and family spent Saturday evening in Woodstock. Mr. and Mrs. Lenard Carlson and family'spent Sunday afternoon and Monday at Park Falls, Wis. Adrian Thomas of Chicago, Bob Flavik of Elgin and Loren and Hiley Jean Thomas spent Friday at Broadhead Wis. Roy and Mae Wiedrich spent Friday evening at McHenry. Mrs. B. B. Marble of Greenwood, and Mrs. Joe McCannon and sons of Keystone were guests in the Roland McCannon home Saturday afternoon. Mr. and, Mrs. G. E. Sft^pard and family spent Sunday evening with relatives at McHenry- Mrs. Fred Wiedrich and son Frank were callers jit. -McHenry Saturday morning. Charles Coates of Genoa City and Mr. and Mrs. Lester Carr and family spent Sunday in the Fred Wiedrich home. Dorothy Carr and Dewey Beck of Chicago spent the week-end in the Charles Carr home. Mr. and Mrs- Harold Wiedrich an'l family spent Saturday In the Harold Fisher home at Huntley. Fred. Wiedrich and son Frank attended the Milwaukee Fair, Thursday. Mrs. Nina Donnelly and Miss Ida Blakeslee of Woodstock and Mrs. H. L. Webster and daughter of Evanston were callers in the S. W.Brown home Tuesday. James Thompson was a Chicago visitor^ Friday and Saturday. Mrs. S. W. Brpwu was a Chicago visitor Friday* Mildred Jepson of Evanston spent Sunday and Monday here with her parents. Frank Hawley of Chicago spent Sunday and Monday in the home of his father E. C. Hawley. Mrs. Lillian Stevens is visiting friends in Chicago. Mr. and Mrs- A. C. Brown of Cary 111. were Sunday aftfernoon callers in the S. W. Brown home. Harold Jepson of Rockford spent Sunday and Monday here with hia parents. Mr. and Mrs- Wm. Rdbinson of Chicago were Sunday callers at the Ben Walkington home. Miss Lota Harrison of Evanston is visiting her parents Mr.-and Mrs. George Harrison. The 4-H girls and t>oys will present the play "Farina-ting Fanny Ann" at the. M. W. A. Hall Sept. 9. Admission 25 and 10 cents. Mr. and Mrs. G. E. Shepard left Monday to attend the funeral of a cousin at Flint Michigan on Tuesday- _fUal A*i Diplomacy ts the art of saying simple things In such a manner that no In the wodd lawn exm&jr .what tkey n^ean. --• 1 Not to Be Ead«r«2 The reason v we don't hear about 'stern parents" any more Is because these modern children simply won't tolerate anything so old-fashioned.--^- Cincinnati Enquire?. ' Eariy A ••draw Eagraye* , The in* eagmver la' America t» work la messotlnta wm» Peter PeUuua, a stepfather to John Slngletoa ley. Pelham was an Engilshmaa, tllng in Boston shortly before 1737. ^ • - Flashy Bird •Tee, mam, I know jthem Afrtcair1 parrots.' I had one, and It used tar whistle The Village Blacksmitlr so beautiful that sparks used W flir from its tall." ' W "M& TMCKSofMAGIC* o-o ZXPlJUNZ-PJf^""' >» r» n J i . Press two opposite corners of the cover of an ordinary penny match bop sor that It Is slightly thrown out of square. Bring the box before your audience, stand the cover on its side, place the drawer upright on top of thfhv cover, as shown in tKs drawing, and ask some one to try to crush it with • , blow of the hand. It will be found that the two parts of tha box fly in sep*;.'-' arate directions when the hand comes in contact with them. „ (Copyright, will U Llndhorst-l • • Mrs. Woodrow Wilson at Lee Cottage * last The Mrs. Woodrow Wilson, with Gov. Ibra Charles Blackwood (center) m South Carolina, and Gov. John Garland Pollard, of Virginia, during the dedfjfk; cation exercises of the Robert E. Lee cottage at White Sulphur Springs, W. vM' TRAILS ¥E CROSS By JAMES W. BROOKS ill Last Occupied Land? Polynesia was probably th# habitable area to be occupied. Polynesians, although of similar features, language, customs, religion and traditions, are not a pure race. They are supposed to be mainly of Aryan origin, with Infusions of other bloods, and to have come from Asia by way of the Malay peninsula and Java, and thence from island to island by varfe ous routes in their migration east* ward, northward and southward and to have reached Hawaii, probably from Samoa, about A. D. 500. Archeological Find An enclosure in which a sacred crocodile lived in ancient Egypt has been found by Italian-scientists at the sanctuary In Tebtunls of Seknebtunis, the crocodile god. It Is the first die- «>Tery of its kind.* V T The Present Forgotten 1 "It is strancg/' said Hi Ho, the sage of ChlnatownT^th&t men who have tried diligently td provide for the future should so frequently find" themselves unprepared for the presents- Washington Star*' . • C2>ATHFINDER OF THE. SEAS 1 fprom Tncdcrk^bi^.Viniinij. Hieni-aJso wenfoul u foihe ends of "the earth £T^Hifi'nder of "the Seas *te chad" -fhe< winds' and "Hie waves, b establish the ft'rs" weather bureau in "the world ,+o become ihe first" superintendent' of "the U.S. Naval Observatory and to whom navigation owes a debt beyond comp/tatibn - Matthew TonWne Malory. Espousing the 5outtiern Ous^th© home was he haven of Safety during GVil Wm* &ys. Deputies Ready to Combat Farmer Pickets Reading Speed Six words per second, or about four and One-half hours for a standard size book, is good average reading speed, and most people can aspire to reach this seemingly extraordinary rapidity, It Is the brain, not the eye, which determines the speed of reading. The eye cannot move steadily, but must move In a series of jerks, with pauses betweeit.' These pauses are needed to see the printed page clearly, but still more to give time for the meaning to be grasped. ^ ' . Try our classified ads they rare bring results. Uses for Reindeer Skin Reindeer skin makes a finejtype of leather, suitable for gloves, riding breeches and purses. The hair is long and can be used for the making of mattresses. - Uncle Eben can't Judge by itffft&a.rflnee,'* said Uncle Eben. "A bullfrog ain't got no neck at all. but he kin make more noise ton Star, , Nature * Nature Is often hidden, ' someseldom j^tit\g)ii^^ IP*. PolailT In Meitly Enough pot a W lies in the huge rock deposits of Wyoming and greensand deposits of New Jersey to make the' United States Independent of any foreign supply of this fertilizer, says the Deputy sheriffs of Pottawattamie county, Iowa, armed with ball bats and pick handles, outside the countj jail at