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; m"- '• 'vTVx * "v,.2fP«* * n, "V ' * 'i \ ' k T-'• " " <•*'-•. ' i • . ' ^ . ' .•» , . ,*%» . ' ** 11 " tteiihy; ;iig^,i The Rogues' Gallery Twice Told Tales Items of Interest Taken tbe Files of the Plalndeale* of Tears Age FIFTY YEARS AGO • The new firm of Althoff Bros., have taken possession of the store lately purchased by F. G. Mayes, and with a full stock of hew goods are now ready to receive calls from their friends and the buying public generally. A nine pound boy arrived at the home of Peter Leickem, in this village, on Monday morning last. Despite the talk of hard times, our merchants enjoyed a- Very good holi day trade this year. The New Year's parties in this vil lage were all well attended and a general good time id reported. Moral for tfai Immoral % Bf JOHN E. DE ROSI i McClur* Nttwxpapar arndlcat*. WNU Sorrlo*. pRANKIE AMORT had Method* Include Yawning Eight Time* to the Minute, Studying Yeur Watch, end Emptying a Settle of Scotch or Rye on the Floor Between You and the Speaker. PROTECTING THE HUM All EAR •y JOHN LARDNER Ir YOU read the newspapers you may have followed the campaign of Dr. H. Fulkin Snev against functional cauliflower ear. also taowo in medical circles as listeners' dlaeass or paralysis of the protest gland or just plain silent suffering:. Doctor Snev has done great work Ik this field. He was the first to discover that the germ of the disease is carried about and inflicted on innocent victims by certain well defined carrier garded, the patient should proceed to make good his boast as advertised. Extreme cases require extreme remedies. That's what Doctor, Suov say?, and no one has a better right to talk than this gifted scientist and horse player. Many people regard face-to-face conversations as harder to interrupt than phone conversations. It's painful to Insult anyone to his face. But Doctor Snev laughs and calls this a weakness. He has listed half a dozen w> called "gambits" for cutting the enthusiastic word-slinger dead in his tracks. One of these is the "Impartial gamtypee-- fight managers, barbers, evan- j bit." which should be thrown into the FORTY YEARS AGO Miss Emma Nickols, of McHenry, and Htenry A. Niles of Algonquin were Married at the residence of the bride's -parents, in this village, on Tuesday of last week. : J. H. Miller has shown us the plans for a new house, which he will build early in the spring, on the lot where his old house now stands. The ice harvest, which was interrupted by the late thaw, was resumed again on Monday, and they are now putting up fine, clear ice, 12% inches .thick. ' By the marriage licenses issued last week from the County Clerk's office, we notice the names bf EmiLSchneid er, of Woodstock, and Miqs Barbara Stegemann, of McHenry. gelists, traveling salesmen, authors, actors, congressmen, etiquette experts, etc. Once he managed to isolate the germ, but when he got it isolated he had to keep it around the house, where *t talked all his family into a state of coma and refused to eat anything but grade A milk and imported caviar. So Doctor Snev gave up the isolation Idea and began to take down case histories of the various victims. The following history is typical of one phase of the disease (inability to hang up the telephone receiver) f "Patient complained of splitting pains In the occipital region, trembling of the hands, nervoi sness at the sound of bells. Slight fever, normal pulse,, blue eyes, blond hair, 32 waist (clinical note--quite a dish). Patient reported telephone conversation with agfreesive carrier type (welfare worker) *lui follows: , Patient: Hello? Carrier: Is that you, Mrs. ZT This It Mrs. van Gans-Otway speaking, Jk>w are you. dear, ! want to ask ft you, which I know you can't "refuse, because you've done so much .Already, so very much, I can't tell you how grateful we were for your little donation to the Fund for Homeless 'Stoats. I wish you could see the work we've done with that fund you'd be •o proud of having helped, why one little fellow, a ferret, he was, really, Jkvt be comes under the Jurisdiction of oar work with stoats, we found him the loveliest home with Mr. Squamey- --•r, you know they're so happy to have him they say that he's bitten off the heads of fifteen rats already and the wtoe of one of the little Squameyers, yes, so cute, and we wondered if you-- P: I'm afraid-- C: I know you'll love to do this, ,._you have so much talent, it's for the pageant; you know the' pageant we're Tunning for the relief of Persecuted Opossums we have a part in mind for you, a lovely part with a costume, well, Just something you could' make yourself, you know, but you'd look so love* ly-in anything, It's a historical pageant, you know the history of the village, we want you to be the spirit, yes the spirit of the Other Side of the Railroad Tracks. You see the idea, it's Just-- P: Really, Mrs. van Ans-Gotwary, I mean Mrs. Otway van Got way, could I we talk about it some other time? I'm ! expecting--" I C: We have a part for Mr. Z. too 1 know he won't refuse, it's an Indian yes for the battle, the Indiana are ! •11 killed by the ancestors of Mr. i Schless and Mr. Fulton,,I really don't j believe Mr. Schless's "people were In this country at the time but we must • make the best of It although Mr. Fulton says he won't consider it "If Mr. Schless-- "At this point," according to Doctor Snev, "patient reported severe trembling fit and suspension of consciousness. I evived five or stx minutes later to tind receiver still in hand and opponents talking strongly. Apologized for remissness and listened four minutes more. Symptoms--bruises and contusions about ear, paralysis : win. In a case like this Doctor Snev recommends that the patient say, three ftmes, at Intervals of fifteen seconds: v;:fl am now going to hang up the re- 'jnlver." If* the third warning is <lisr«r The'Flea Market • ~t In addition to its bird market, iiorse Biarket, diamond market and dog marconversation every half minute to cou fuse the speaker. It goes like this: Speaker: So Edith was on horseback that morning, you know she can ride anything on four legs, and she was riding past the reservoir,, the south end, when we met her. Well, you know how it is. When you haven't seen a girl for-- Victim: Some say one, some say the other. Speaker: I beg pardon? Victim: Some say one, some say the other. Speaker; Well, Edith Was on horseback-- i Victim: Some say one; some say the other. You will find that this device breaks up the monologue in a nice way and leaves no feeling in the speaker's mind except a suspicion that you would be better off In a sanitarium, which is probably correct. According to Doctor Snev, "this system always leaves hard feelings, which may be all for the best. Then there Is the case of a tot of my acquaintance, who has perfected the water-works system of Interrupting conversation. When his elders and betters begin to weary him with their talk he bursts Into tears. This requires a strong set of lungs and ready control of the tear ducts, but It shows that a child of tender years can be as smart as a fox, if not smarter. Other methods Include yaWnlng eight times to the minute, studying your watch, and emptying a bottle of scotch or rye on the floor between you and the speaker. This latter device is bound to fascinate him and check his flow of thought through sheer horror; The President of the United States, of course, has a very easy time with talkers. Etiquette requires everyone to- shut up and go away when the President rises to his feet This sounds perfect, but It happened In the case of President Harding that the gag missed fire. The President didn't know about it. He remained seated for hours TWENTY-FIVE YEARS AGO °The C. & N. W. railroad company has again laid off most at its section hands here The company cajinot affSrd to pay these men their huge wages during the winter months. G. C. Boley is laid up at his home with a broken leg, received in a fall last Saturday- evening. The 'employes of the local {boat manufacturing institution began work in the new building on Tuesday morning of this week after a shut down of sixteen weeks, during which time the commodious and modern new factory building was constructed. TWENTY YEARS AGO The annual harvest of ice will be started at Borden's tomorrow morning. Supt. Pufahl hopes that with the beginning tomorrow morning work piay go on uninterruptedly until the job is finished. Frances, the nine year old daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Ed Hughes, who reside east of town, met with a painful accident at the home of her parpts last Sunday, wheh in some manner she stumbled and fell against the wall resulting in a fracture of the left elbow. The McHenry bakery, which during the past few years has been conducted by A. Tiets, has been sold and is now owned by Albert Lallinger of Chi' cago. The people of McHenry are getting more interested daily in sewerage which improvement now looks like a sure thing. Wauconda and Cary are working that way and if we can judge from rumors and weekly papers they 4P».rJj$ble to beat us to it. TEN YEARS AGO The play, given by the Johnsburg boys and girls January 3, was very well attended. Over $100 was taken in. I Warren Francisco and sister, Miss Ammie, spent Christmas evening in the Hobart home at Ostend, listening to radio reports. . McHenry will have a new addition to its professional men about February 1. Following the sudden death of Dr. A. F. Mueller (gi Dec. 30, an opening for another medical man was never been In love. He did not believe in love. He said there was no such thing* At least, not for him. He was right For Frankie. alas, was a professional gentleman, a glgolor--a genteel swindler, clever at the precarious art of blackmail. He could not afford to believe In love. It would not be wise. Rut Frankie, despite all his wisdom, had erred, and the police were after him. He had made the sad mistake of pretendfng to make love to a police commissioner's wife, a very wealthy woman. Unfortunately, however, her husband happened to be a remarkably perceptive man aiid In a short time Frankie was very hurriedly leaving the city. * Frankie aHghted at a summer resort high in the mountains. He took a (room at the leading bote! and slept through most of the day. That night, at a costume masquerade he met Mrs. Winters, a wealthy, middle-aged divorcee. Frankie Immediately went to work. That week-end he was a guest at • house party In the great white castle on the mountainside that was the Winters' mansion. And there he met Stephanie. He had been strolling among the guests with the possessive and Slmost girlish Mrs. Winters and they had come upon a large group at one end of the drawing room. Mrs. Winters playfully grasped one of tbe men by tbe sleeve. "This Is my bad, bad nephew Lyle," she laid to Frankie, smiling broadly. "Lyle, this Is Mr. Amory." "Lyle has brought a charming young thing for the week-end," said Mrs. Winters. "I hear he has been paying a great deal of attention to her in tbe city." She smiled Insinuatingly. Frankie could carcb only an occasional glimpse of the shoulder of tbe girl beyond Lyle. She was almost entirely screened by tbe men about ber. Lyle turned toward her. "Oh, Stephanie. . . ." The girl emerged from the circle smiling. Her eyes met Frankie's. Frankie gasped. His heart seemeJ to stand still. • • • • • • • The next morning be sought out Stephanie. "I must talk to you," he Implored. "Can't we walk some where?" She nodded eagerly, her eyes very bright, very innocent, very young. "I'll get a Jacket--" She touched his arm in a gesture of confidence--"I won't be a moment!" He watched as she hurried away. She was so sweet 1 They followed a little path up the mountainside and sat for hours in a cleared space overlooking the broad, far valley below. After dinner they went for a drive. In the gradually g^hering darkness they drove slowly up the mountain road. Passing a smooth stretch of gravel Frankie accelerated the car, and the wind whipped about them. Stephanie laughed, moving close to him. He laughed with her. His arm, In an unconscious motion, dropped over her shoulder. She leaned her head against the soft pad of his coat. Farther on they stopped and watched the moonlit valley below. They sat there a long while. Once Stephanie said, "Oh, Frankie, isn't It grand! Couldn't you just stay here forever and ever?" He looked at her. Everything within him seemed to fall away and leave him limp and lifeless. He took her hand. "Stevle," he whispered, "you're adorable!" She looked shyly up at him. She said nothing, but he could feel her move to him. She held her eyes to his lips. "I like you, too, Frankie. . . She came very close to him. The 'moon's light was silver on her moist, parted lips, luminous from her nightshadowed eyes. He drew her to him, tight, tight He could feel her soft fingers over his face, tracing the line of his lips, his chin. His words were lost in the silken cascade of her hair, but she heard them-- "I love you, Stevie. I l o v e y o u . . . . " JOHNSBURG Carl Volts is spending: a few days with relatives in Chicago. Mr. and Mrs. Stephen Freund of Spring Grove visited in the home of Mr. and Mrs. Joe J. Freund Thursday.• Stephen H. Smith was a Woodstock caller Monday. , » ' Mr. and Mrs. Joe Huff and family, and Math Smith of Woodstock spent New Years with Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Oeffling. Our Washtngtoit --Bjr-- National Editorial Executive cannot throw off the judi Miss Annabel Meyers of Woodstock: c*a' spectre which hauntfc with firm spent Sunday with her folks, Mjr. and J admonition. Somehow the legislative Mrs. Wm. J. Meyers. 1 machinery cannot ru Mrs. Martha Freund and sonv __ and daughter visited with Miss their past rc'ifprmances now subject- Gladys Freund at Hartland hospital judicial review. Observers be- Saturday. ' lieve this influence was largely re- Bill Smith and Joe King were Bur- sponsible for President Roosevelt maklington callers Monday afternoon. ,, | i°8r a political speech in his annual Miss Pauline Bode is spending a message instead of the customary re- Week in Chicago. j commendations for legislation. Ad- Mr. and Mrs. Earl Turner and ministration^ leaders -assume that Mr. daughter of Crystal Lake and Charles Roosevelt will develop a definite legstand up under judicial testa. The N. R. A. is officially extinct but the research crew ia at work compiling data from the Blue Eagle's experiences. Unless political pressure is increased the present analysis bids fair to find a place as a valuable economic study. ' Labor groups have failed to plant their emissaries on the research staff | to substitute biased conclusions. Other interested parties seeking to influence T „ | the official findings have been tharwt- Washington, .January 8 -- Try as ed. The agency will expire in March, they may the Congress and the Chief, but meanwhile its work is hampered by politics of the crude sort. Taking their cue from the President's message, Congressional comr I mittees «re buckling: down to routine • of affairs. The two major pities h.w held their caucus to acquaint their fellow partisans with the objectives for the present session. The House Appropriations Committee has been at work for several weeks in advance of the general assembly. The bonus advocates will probably override the House Ways and Means Committee by a vote in the House discharging the Schaefer of Chicago visited in the «l«tive program after the Supreme group from further consideration of ho>me of Mr. and Mrs. $en J. Schaef er Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. Bob Wilkie of Chicago spent Saturday and Sunday in the home of Mr, and Mrs. Peter J. Freund. , Mr. and Mrs. George Zornstorff of Woodstock spent -Tuesday availing with Mr. and Mrs. George King. Mr. and Mrs. John Bode entertained friends from Mundelein Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. Gus Lunkenheimer and family of Ringwood moved to the Jacob Miller home at Johnsburg. Mrs. Anna Bugner is quite sick at this writing, Irving Schaefer of Waukegan was a caller here New Years day. Mrs. Leo Gerlach and son, Billy, were Chicago callers Thursday. Mr. and Mrs. William J. Meyers and sons, Elmer and Leroy, were Woodstock callers Saturday. Bobby Freund and brother of Crystal Lake spent a few days iyith Mrs. George Lay. Miss Katherine Althoff of Elgin sent New Years Day with her parents, Mr^ and Mrs. William Althoff. Court passes judgement on existing and challenged laws enacted at the last session. A series of short messages in writing accompanied by suggested drafts of measures are expected from the White House as substitutes for these , parts which were missing in the formal report on the state or a nation. Mr. Roosevelt's open criticism of other governments has aroused the diplomatic colony. His reply to domestic critics of the New Deal policies has provoked a cross-fire of arguments [which will continue until the election. Before this Congress adjourns, it must provide a record upon which a national election may be based. The "highly desirable plan of a prompt dispatch of public business is, of course, nothing more than a happy dream. Law-making is inextricably interwoven with the great game of politics. The legislators returned with their baggage bulging with speeches prepared during the four-months vacation. It is asking too much in a campaign jyear to expect these public figures to forgo the spotlight of pub- Mr. and Mrs. John Bode entertained licity in the interests of expediency, relatives and friends from Chicago " Sunday. Senators are required to deliver speeches in ^person but the House rules permit '^extension of remarks" or printing of speeches neyer given oral treatment. Neither oritory nor "voiceless speeches" sway votes in our parliament nowadays. The first major investigation by the John Mertes is spending a few. Congress is the current inquiry.by the weeks with his daughter, Mr. and Senate Munitions Committee. Their Mrs. Tom Mills at Kalamazoo, Mich.'agents have been digging into'official Mr. and Mrs. Paul Schumacher and World War files in an effort to profamily of Grayslake spent Wednesday vide sensations calculated to influence with Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Schumacher, public opinion in regard to neutrality Mr.^ and Mrs. Math Lay, Mr. and legislation. The committee hopes to Mr. and Mrs. Peter F. Freund and daughters were Woodstock callers Friday afternoon. Miss Katherine Pitzen of Chicago sent the weekend with her father, J. Pitzen. Mrs. John Lay of Spring Grove spent New Years Day with Mrs. Stephen Schmitt. George King was a Woodstock call-> er Friday, , - --'jv Former Name of Wilmington The original settlement on the site of tbe city of Wilmington, Del., was named Christinaham, In honor of the Queen of Sweden. In 1731 a large part o| the present territory of the city was owned by Thomas Willing and for him named Willington. This was subsequently changed to Wilmington when the city was incorporated In 1739. v' Wild Tree* Give 2% Robber About 2 per cent of the world's crude rubber supply Is taken from wild trees. show deep-dyed intrigue by which in ternational banking houses used government officials as puppets to force Uncle Sam into the war in 1917. The displomatic branch is terribly annoyed at the invasion of their sanctums by Senate probers. The public utility outfits and the House study of chain' store regulations are on the dockets for merciless political grilling. While these excursions by the legislature are not considered problems of statecraft, it affords ammunition for political mud-slinging. With alphabetical agencies momentarily expecting extinction by means of Supreme Court decisions, the brains which conceived these adventures into new forms of government control are endeavoring to salvage portions which the bill. The big-wigs of the Democratic party are assembled here this week for the annual Jackson Day dinner. Ordinarily, candidates for the Presidency would be looked over, but the re-nomination of Mr. Roosevelt is considered in the bag. The Republicans are sharing the interest of their op^ ponents in the speech of former governor Alfred E. Smith later in the month. The New Yorker has a tremendous following and Roosevelt captains are anxious for harmony. Party scouts report thinly disguised skepticism? as to legislative policies within their own ranks which is considered a danger signal in an election year. The lack of cohesiveness and strong figures in the Republican camp softens the Democratic alarms as to the November hustings. The sale season Is now at hand. I have a number of sales listed. I will be glad to call and see anyone needing my services. My 30 years experience will be much help to you as I am in touch with mor^ buyers than any auctioneer in McHenry County. Three days J sell in the t>lg sale markets in Wisconsin and I meet all the buyers from far and near who want to buy farm personal property of all kinds, including, horses cattle. CHAS. LEONARD «* Auctioneer Phone 478 Woodstock. PL created in this community, resulting at a stretch while two earnest parties jin a number of physicians coming to bit a hole in his eat- and poured words ]0ok over the situation. Among them into it. The late Ike Hoover Anally was Dr< C W; Klontz of Richmond, tipped him Off about his privilege, aft- i wj1Q now announces that he will move er which Mr. Harding was In a verti- •with, his family to McHenry about1 the a W OFFER No. 1-F6 PLEASURE-AND PROFIT FOR EVERYONE OFFER No. 5-FI THIS NEWSPAPER Pathfinder <52 issues)... Country Home.. cal position practically all the time. But these little anecdotes, thoughthey brighten up the story, have noth^ Ing to do with the average man. The average man must fight his own battle against listeners' disease and cauliflower ear. In this battle , he has no greater friend than Dr. H. Fulkin Snev, Doctor Snev admits it. 1 "Though I say so myself," he told your correspondent the other day, "1 have done more to break off. monologues than any man living. It's a gift, a natural talent. Let me tell you how It happened. As a child 1 washighly sensitive to sound. I was a beautiful child, they say, with large blue eyes, blond curls, and a warm, trusting expression that must have been irresistible. People used to stop me on the street Just to pat my head. I won six contests for beauty and charm, and I can show you the trophies. I--" "Where were you on the niprht of February 7, 1912?" I asked suddenly, realizing the horror of my predicament. Rut the doctor's tip*did no good. He is still talking to me as as I write this. first of next month. LILY LAKE Snake's Venom GlitiJi The fangs of a poisonous snake consist of a pair of hypodermic teeth fcet, Paris has several flea markets, i ln the uPPer Jaw connected with Hie These were so named because their ! venom glands in the temples. In some" luain sales were originally old clothes and rags, but today they are Jumble dales. A tour of the markets is still fonsidered one of the tourist thrills in Parts. The Strength of Gentlenes* Nothing is so strong as gentleness; pothlng so gentle as real strength of the vipers they are long, slender needles, but others, such as the cobra, have stubby needles, like thorhs ob wild plum trees. Polonaise From Poland • Thig dance called the polonaise originated ln Polan(l. It was a slo;w» graceful 'dance ln three-quarter time. Myrna Bacon was a visitor at Ivfutihoe New Year's eve, Mrs. Edward Weisbaurii Was a Chicago visitor Monday. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Dosch and daughter were dinner guests at the home of Mr. and Mrs. George Harper of Cary, New Year's day. Harry Cooke has returned to Lily Lake, after spending a week in Chicago with his mother, who has been very ill, but is now getting along fine. Mr. and Mrs. Nemes, Mr. and Mrs. Christensen and Mr. and Mrs... Eld Marsh visited the home of Mr, and | Mrs. Werbluski Sunday. I Fred Sharffe spent Sunday at Lily Lake. Mr. and Mrs. C. Mills and Mr. and Mrs. Nemes of Chicago spent New Year's eve and New Year's day at the home of Mr. and Mrs. Werbluski. We are all happy to see that Mrs. Joseph Daly is getting along fine. Genevieve Daw was a Grayslake visitor Sunday. Mrs. Fred Dosch and daughter, Josehine, were Wauconda visitors Monday..' ' •/: . Lyle Winters slumped down ln a chair with a shrug of resignation. Stephanie came across the room drawing on her gloves. She was a different Stephanie. There was an alien air of icy briskness about her. She spoke calmly to the man ln the chair, but - her tone wa|i brittle. "Well, did you get the dough from your aunt?" Winters nodded. He reached into an Inside pocket and brought forth a neat parcel of currency. "Got the letters?" "Yeah." Stephanie opened her handbag and produced a packet of envelopes. "Let's have the dough." Envelopes and money changed hands. Winters sighed with relief. "Why the big rush, anyway?" he asked. A horn tooted outside. The girl nodded toward the window. "The fish are biting." > Winters rose and went to. the winlow. "Amory?" . The girl nodded. "Yeah." She crossed the room and paused by the door. "Well, so long." She vsmlled. "And say, never write love letters to girls you don't know anything about." | And she was gone. Winters saw Stephanie bend over and kiss Frankie. He watched as the car slid down the driveway. "Well," he murmured, half aloud. "I woiuler how much she'll get out of that sucker. . .** Illustrated Mechanics McCALL'S MAGAZINE.... 1 year 1 year 1 year 1 year 1 year THIS NEWSPAPER ..-..1 year Country Home 1 year Home Friend .1 year Poultry Tribune ........I year Illustrated Mechanics .year ALL FIVE ONLY $2.75 ALL FIVE ONLY PATHFINDER $2.30 Xkmams 1^0 5vVv / J SELECT YOUR FAVORITES 0 N LY * J22 ' for any ^|of these MAGAZINES1 WITH THIS NEWSPAPER, 1 Year ! 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CJ Hunter-Trader-Trapper 6 mos. !. i Poultry Tribune , years • Popular Science Monthly 6 mos. • Pathfinder (52 issues). . .1 year • McCall's Magazine. „ . . 1 year • SiWer Screen ...... 1 year • Christian Herald . . . . € months • Current Thought 1 year • Popular Science MoitMy . 6 months • Breeder's Gazette . . . .2 years • Parents' Magazine ... 6 months • Boys' Life (Boy Scmrts) . . 1 war • American Fruit Grower . . 2 ytafs • National Sportsman .... 1 year • American Boy 1 year • Outdoors 1 year ^ Junior Home for Mothers . . 1 year n Hunter-Trader-Trapper. 6 months • Everyday Science & Mechanics 1 year 6 months . 1 year 6 months 6 months 6 months • Etuie Music Magazine • Hunting & Fishing , • Flower Grower. , • Dog World ... • American Cookery. Mail Your Order Today! GENTLEMEN: Enclosed find »- newspaper and the magazines marked with an (X)» NAME. for which sand me your STREET or R. F. D. TOWN STATETHIS OFFER IS GUARANTEED. PRESENT SUBSCIPTIONS WILL SE EXTENDED. THE McHENRY PLAINDEALER