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ington National Editorial AMoetetm Tap Gap The Rogues' Gallery ' By THAYER WALDO 9 HcClure Newspaper Syndicate. WNU Service. DKNNIE set his Hps In a very firm line and resolutely kept his eyes upon ythe ledger. Through the open window came the syncopated tinkle of a piano and the rhythmic click of dancing shoes. Merely by raising his head Bennie could have looked across the narrow court directly Into the room whence came those sounds. He could 81 Washington, January 22 -- Three legislative subjects loaded with political dynamite absorb the attention of the Congress this week. The farm relief problem is in a formative stage but rapidly assuming a major plate' with Morrie in pjablic debates and private talks.-, ,Nea],g n]mb,e flnR|?rs (SklpiVing 0ver It, Hpw to finance the bonus for veterans flnd bevond „ flash of bare legs as without taxes and inflation of currency 1Jeth tapped upon tbe piatfQrm. is another current brain-teaser for the | ^ow must not be assumfed that legislators. The neutrality legislation self-denial was a matter of conis complicated by the development df sclentious regard* for duty with him. bad feeling aitoong Senators ovfer the To be frank. Bonnie rather heartily depart played by the late President his job and on most occasions Wood row Wilson in pre-war deals with was -quite ready to neglecjt it' for diver-. ;y- other nations.^ These - sharply drawn] sj0B< . .Ordihartly," to;- nailing -could •VV issues are pushing the suggested cufb. hav« been so plensurably diverting as, of- the Supreme Court idea into the | to watch Beth dance, eVeh from this background despite the best • efforts I (jlstanoe and witfi the fotehhortein'd ^• of .the politically-minded'td keep, re- view. But today there " existed inost senttnent of factions affected by judi- j unusual, not to say; unliaiipy, ciijeiiii^ c^; decisions at a fighting tempera-; stances: Beth arid Be/inie w>ert> , •,»; £T tttfe, So great is the competition for , the outs." ' publicity that sevferal Congfessiohal It had all probes promising onerday sensations sky. For almost a yeair titey hart gun«H • :-V:- are held in abeyance. • | together with never a qnin rj-K A.111I Congress is not taking kindly to '? the past few months pinns-for'riwr: the growing disposition of the Admini- j r'a£e had become a frequent topic stration to have the legislative body; between them. As soon .is P.ennle assume more responsibility for new ! completed his study of wireless, there farm relief plans. It is currently re- I W0uld be 8 government position waitported at Capitol Hill that the White inS- Perhaps he would be sent to House will not rush pell-mell into en-1 some, ^mantle spot and Beth would dorsement of substitutes for the Ag-! f° ™ith hi® 89 hJ8 *"«• Late'? l!,e* _ ricultural Adustment Act recently in-i had ®ven, been figuring the time In validated by the highest tribunal. ?_°_nths\ fo,r, with ^ s help Bennie .Signs of caution are attributed to the failure of the rank and file of farmers to manifest their wrath and tljus provide the New Dealers with a spe- _ cial mandate against the judicial sys- JOHNSBURG Mrs. Peter Smith, Mrs. George Lay, Mrs. Stephen H. Smith and Mrs. Wil- f liam> Tonyan visited with Mrs. Joel Friend at McHenry Thursday. I Palace of/Sobieslrf la Gardes Wllanow, the palace built by King S°bieskl of Poland, conqueror of the Turks, stands five mii^ from Wfr. •aw !• I Trench garden. Oldest Citing Mrs. John King of McHenry visited f °.f **ue Chefce ID ith Vipr sistflp. Mrs. Anna Rncmpr. . ands Belgium's most fa moos had th was rapidly acquiring an expert knowledge of his subject. Bot now-- well, that was Just a shattered dream -^thelr romance Irreparably ruined. . Bennie found a sort of bitter satlstem. U is true that there is'consiaer-1 ^u cti(4n in dwelling on its finality, able unanimity among the various J were, he told himself with sayfarm organizations as to principles,!^® conviction.ias far apart as if they but no general agreement as to meth-1 a Deve^ ®et- et!' c?u!d g0 **er ods is at hand. Another stumbling J *weet way;a"d ,f » led rI«ht block is found in the uncertainty over | 'Tlt0 1 the arms °f that-that rat, Morrie sound and legal/methods of raising i * y' a r g . e* e* tthee nm&onneeVy nneecceessssaarrvj ttoo" meeeett bbeenneeffiitt,! dcihdaDn c* e° laarset *D S| n,al tp ' Schheo ohga d hadd hhe r payments required under pending hfld . . schmes for crop control. , - "Bennie Jackson, you're the meanest, . -Sb£s 8?Zf ;mo8t ^spicious fellow I ever knevy! most (fa, y with Secretary of Agncul-1 0f course rm „oing t0 keep on tak^ ture ^ allace with a view to harmomz- U)e lessons Mr Noal-s glving me 8 mg differences as to procedure. The What.g wrong wUh that?„ trend this week in agricultural legis- „ „ lation is definitely for soil conserva- ^0't Bf;nn,,e bad . picked up his cap tion and farm management items as; " w ^ a permanent program with domestic " th "h ? , j*8 vl" 0 ' ®'..a allotments to permit feeding out gov- « fh* h UJ "JV * a> ,e _ * ' b , & . Beth had forgotten about the treas- -«™cnt n;on?y o^a temporary basis. .^ep.g . offlofe> r,ght n„t (loor,to the ^mn^n»S',S ^htlC*{°? dance, dlre^to^.^mi that Bennie went P K P poses he law within n,ere several times each day tp return accounts to the safe. Weil, if that was what she wanted, she certainly could hate It without any „ more interference from him. He On* Author In California Employs a Secretary and the Secretary Drive* HI* Own Automobile, a Late Style, While the Author Ride* Around Town on a Bicycle. That Seems Wrong, to Me. SHOULD A SECRETARY BE DECORATIVE? I the Administration believe these objectives rr.ay be attained by skirting1 around the AAA court decision, j In the meantime, 1' ederai machinery is in motion to check the return of processing taxes collected and held in escrow by the- various district courts. It has been suggested that these taxes may be recaptured by a form of retroactive tax assessments which/ would erect a blockade to the return of money aid in protest. The nonfarmer may understand just what, "domestic allotment" means by taking' wheat as an illustration. If a farmer' was going to finish his wireless studies in a hurry anil then get as far away ns possible from Zenith studio and Hollywood and Beth Millard. Fie reached in the desk drawer for the little manual he always kept there, determined to spend a few minutes reviewing code. As he took it out, his eyes strayed In one fleeting glance to the windowopposite. Immediately they riveted has grown 100 bushels and the Feder- there;? he sat upright, tense and al formula calls for paying for the*-] startled". The shade was being pulled quarters (determined by national av-i down over the lower haif of the winerages between production and con-j dow. He Just had time for a glimpse sumption) then he obtains on^broperj of a man's hand on the cord; then It certification a direct payment of a cer- was completely drawn and Bennie was tain amount per bushel for 75 bushels staring at a blank buff square, regardless of the amount actually ! The music and the clacking tap of harvested. j feet had ceased. Involuntarily, Ben^ With the return of-the solons, the; nie's teeth came hard together and ne little cloakroom talks of an informal; felt a rush of hot blood mounting to nature provide a clue to actual opin- j his cheeks. He stood up and started ions which the discreet cannot voice] to turn away. in public. Uppermost in the queries j At that moment the sound of the overheard on these clubby places refer piano was resumed. Bennie halted in to the probable text of Al Smith's speech before the Liberty League here next Saturday Word is seeping down that the New Yorker will discuss measures more than men which brings a sigh of relief in the camps! renewed Intensity, of his fellow Democrats. Smith's, or-j 8fant he had sprung atorical powers and influence are re spected in Republican and Democratic sectors. Contributors to G.G.P. campaign chests are disturbed atJ,he failure of the various committees to trot out spell-binders who attract and hold the interest of. the voting public. • If the President accepts the Constitution* al amendment revision plan advocated by his cohorts it wiii soive many puzzles as to electioneering tactics now bothering the Republican high command.. Two Cabinet officers, the Postmaster- General and the Secretary of Commerce, are at odds over a merchant marine policy. Rivalry has reached a point where in.the two departments are working on legislative measures described^ by Senator Copeland of New York, "As far apart as the poles" Mr. Roosevelt is seeking a compromise which will take the form of an Administration bill. The Congress which appropriated four billion, eight hundred million to take 3,500,000 unenujloyed off the relief rolls is now asking for an accounting. The Works Progress Administration reports they received only 37 per cent of this total with the balance distributed for the Civilian Conservation Corps., the Department of Agriculture projects, the War Department and the Public Works Administration. his tracks, puzzled. Yes, there could be do doubt about it; now he even heard Beth's shoes again. He faced around, irresolute and wondering. Suddenly he stiffened, listening with The next Into the phone Where, the Bard Played Although all the Shakespei¥£ fchla-. ters are gone, visitors in London are •till shown the Hall of the Middle Temple, which was built in 1572 and has the finest Elizabethan roof in the city. In this hail "Twelfth Night" was given February 22, 1G02, and It is commonly •tated'that Shakespeare was one of the actors In that play. and was, frantically pounding the switch. - • '•-Give me the studio police--quick!" Two minutes later four men with drawn revolvers preceded Bennie on the rush into Morrie Neal's office. Neal sat at the piano; his face taut and strained. Beth was still tapping feverishly. ^ The door at the far side stood open.. The 6tudlo policemen rushed across through It. There came a yell, 9 string of oaths, a sound of heavy sniffling--and the-thing was all over. The four uniformed inen emerged, securely grappling two others whose ionics revealed their profession! I.efh ran into Bennie's arms and '•lung there, crying: "Oh,: darting, you're, wonderful;! J was so afraid!" . The treasurer ot Zenith studio camp out of his office, mopping his brow with a silk handkerchief, and gripped Bennie's hand warmly. "You're a real hero, my boy!" he "xclaimed; "but I don't understand'-- 1 don't see how you knew! Why, those thugs made Morris and Miss Millard here go on with their practicing and told the rest of us they'd shoot the first one who let out a peep!" Bennie grinned down into Beth's upturned adoring face. "Here's where the credit goes," he replied; "if she hadn't remembered how to tap out a message In Morse code, I'd have been half a mile from here hy now, thinking she didn't love me! By NEIL STAFFORD HAVE always admired private secretaries ana there are several good reasons why I haven't one myself, but the main reason Is that my wife is opposed to It. She believes I had better work along by myself. That Is, she declines to let me have the kind I would prefer, I could step out and-employ a male secretary any day and the wife wouldn't even look askance, but I could never see any sensible reason for hiring a male secretary.. . I know exactly the kind of secretary I would like to have, If perrftlttod. She would he definitely youtig and energetic, as an old secretary is the same as an old razor blade or an old orchid, and she would have attractive yellow hair, friendly blue eyes and as neat a figure as any man ever saw in Kansis City. She would have an agreeable voice, a cheery smile and dress nattily fn either blue or brown, and would possess 'ft visible culture and " Intelligence that would flabbergast bill collecors and other offensive callers and leave them In wordless apology. On days when I couldn't work, she would be able to do my work perfectly. Naturally, she would receive a handsome salary, as she would be worth It. I have sometimes thought of hiring a gentleman secretary, but have alway abandoned the Impulse, for I am supposed to be • writer and not a solid business man with an offlce on the tenth floor, pearl push-buttons and steel filing cabinets full of detailed statistics showing how everything has gone to h--1 In the last six years. Assume for the moment that I did hire a competent male secretary and paid him $50 a week, a reasonable wage for a good one. What then? Well, there would be week after week when my hired hand would he drawing down more money than the head of the firm, and I could never tolerate that. The busy executive, of course, must have a capable assistant, and I would say, off-hand, that the feminine secretary is to be preferred. It seems to me that the Idesl secre-. tary for the man of affairs or ordinary business leader is the tall, lean, anjjular . and slightly scrawny female wearing eye-glasses and a bit of dark cord descending to her chest. This is the kind that saves the firm hutidreds of dollars annually and well earns her stipend. This type of secretary is a thinker, usually with literary leanings, "and may be either a perfect Jewell around the office, or a headache in high heels. The rosy-cheeked and blue-eyed secretary wmi a dimple can be as efficient as any other, but there is no way to stop gentlemen visitors from charting with her for long periods, when she should be. typing single-space letters to Chicago, or figuring out the old nian'8 income-t«x. The doll baby In business knows perfectly well that her position is temporary, that she will not always be a secretary, that som» flay a handsome Sir Galahad will step out of the elevator, see her and prepare for marriage, so her attitude towards the. Job is not ,as earnest a* that of the Berious thinker in her later years. . The very best of all possible secretaries is the middle-aged woman, quiet spinster type, who has been secretly In love with her employer for many years, keeps his photo at home on her dresser, having purloined It from the office, never makes a complaint over long hours, never betrays by sign or word the tremulous state of her feelings, and best of all, never asks for a raise in salary. If the boss is a married man he Is very often unaware of the hidden adoration, although his wife usually has her suspicions. The understanding and thougbttranslating secretary Is the sort any business man is glad to have around. Grow* Largest Leaves /' A water lily whose name is Victoria Itegia grows the largest leaves of aqy plant In the world. They often measure 30 to 40 feet round. The edges turn up and the leaves lie on the water, looking like giant trays. A man caB quite easily sit in one of these kiTcs. • • Early Skyscrapers In Edinburgh, Scotland, are rttll some of the first "skyscrapers." These are houses built very high becuuse the space wltWft the city walla wa« so restricted. T: - , Unique Antique Only ^one genuine antique, said to be the only surviving piece that came over in the Mayflower, survives that time, the wicker cradle of Porogrlno White, born on the ship in the harbor Of Cape Ood, Just before fbe landing. She knows him down to the ground. She comprehends that his bark is worse than his ble. In comes a leter from a gentleman in Seattle who Wishes to have the Old Man send hiro to England to sell the Prince of Wales his wardrobe for the ensuing year. The boss reads tt and grunts. "Tell this bird to go to hades," says the chief, throwing the letter across the desk and the secretary sends Seattle: "Dear Sir: Replying to your kind letter of tha sixth inst, we are very sorry, but because of conditions In the business at this time, we cannot handle your proposition. Won't you please take It up with us later." Cpnslder the case of the fat gentleman with protruding ears who hat; been sitting in the reception room for.; weeks, waiting to Interview the head: man, who does not wish to be interviewed. The sevretary stands between them and says in her kindly voices leaning over a railing: "I'm sorry,; but you happen in at a bad time. lie has several people with him now.; He'll he busy until lunch and then he% going to Boston. Won't you please write him a letter, explaining what' you have In mind?" When it comes to the telephone ringers who (call up each and every morning at eleven o'clock, the capable secretary knows the procedure and saves her employer from wordy warfare. It is generally a life insurance; salesman with a grand idea concerning annuities or a bond salesman who cannot be stopped by fire or high water. She says: "I'm sorry, but he isn't in today. No, I don't think he's coming in. He may not be in this" week. Won't you call again some time?" The last Is a needless request as it is one million to one, the sales-; man will call on the morrow and precisely at eleven. Further^if^l.itfw^ statements are not considered as falsehoods, nor is the secretary a ^iar, although her boss Is sitting there at the moment, glowering at her while shetalks. It is a definite part of the modern business system and the lady is often the very soul of probity and would never think of telling a delib? erate lie in her personal affairs. After five years' association with her boss, the ordinary Intelligent secretary knows as much about him as his own wife nnd often a great real morep but she never says anything, and only wonders at the singular transparency and guilelessness of mankind. Many of our leading authors depend upon secretaries and couldn't function without them. Rupert Hughes has had the same one for years, a young man Interested in literature, and aj Rupert Is a prolific genius, the secretary is never idle. His working hours are unusual, but he appears to like his Job. Mr. Hughes begins the day's chore promptly on the stroke of midnight and pegs along until six In the. morning and then goes to bed. He has done, this for many years, sleeping until noon. This working method, he has figured out, gives htm and his secretary their afternoons for golf, relaxation, movies and when :hey attend a formal dinner In the evening, they can remain until eleven thirty which is long enough and usually too long. W. S. Van Dyke, noted movie director, has had the Same secretary for seven years, a capable young woman, who handles all his affairs. She declares he Is the only man in the world she Is r.eally afraid of, but she may be fooling. ^ truly desirable secretary is the one that relieves his employer of all responsibility, looks After his business and social problems, pays all his bills by check, and no matter how h<?avy the Boss' expenses may be. always comes up smiling with the cheery Information thnt^there Is still plenty of money in the bank. If there is such a secretary in the house, 01 take him on myself. , © Nell Stafford.--WNU Service. * , With her sister, Bugner, Thursday afternoon. Mrs. Bugner is ill. , John -Degen spent a few days with his sister in Kenosha, Wis. Mr. and Mrs. William Maywald.are occupying their summer heme here. Mrs. Martha Freund and daughter, Virginia and son, Leroy, visited with Grladys Freund at Hartland, Sunday. Mrs. Steve King and son, Eugene, were Chicago callers Saturday. Mrs. Fred Smith entertained her Cftrd club Wednesday afternoon. Prizes were awarded to Mrs. Charles Michels, first; Mrs Steve. May, second, and Mrs. Leo Freund, consolation. " Mr. and Mrs. John P. Schaefer find Mrs. Ben Freund were Waukegan callers Thursday. Mrs. Leo Gerlach, sons, Billy ftpd. Junior, were Chicago callers Saturday afternoon. , , : George King wis a Woodstock call- j *r' Tdesday. Mrs. John Degen and daughter, Jeanette, and Mr. and Mrs. Joe Blake of McHenry *w«|re KenosHa callers Wednesday. Mr. and Mrs. John Lay of Spring Grove were visitors, here Tuesday evening. Those who attended the funeral of Ben H. Meyers at Racine, Wis., Thursday were Mrs. Anna Lunkenheimer; Mrs. Joe Schaefer; Joe Huemann, and Mr. and Mrs. William J. Meyers and family. Mrs. Nick Nett of Spring Grove attended the Lady Forester meeting here Tuesday evening. Mr. and Mrs. George Zornstorff of Woodstock spent Sunday with Mr. and Mrs. Jacob Thiel and family. fountain, whose naked manikin is everywhere called the city's "oldest cltl- Dr. C. Kelter OPTOMETRIST Sundays and Mondays at my Summer Home, Riverside Drive, \ McHenry, I1L All Kinds of Repairs, TeL 211-R Soldiers Get Little The Japanese soldier on the often lives on ^ration of rice blm daily, which, with a pickled pi*"" suffices for 24 hours--and he baa la cook the food himself. ' Education i. U. fin proportion to Its population, tha United States spends more money oa education than any country in world. v. ... . - .. r i K ' tbe ; Steam Engine* ' All steam engines are really machines for turning heat energy Into the energy of motion of the parts of the machine, which In their turn do the work required. Idea* of Soul • • . Among ancient peoples the soul has been frequently and .variously Imagined as a butterfly, a moth, bee, firefly, as well as symbolised with sparks, flames and stars.' Leaf Dead Forects Revealed Some of Asia's barren sand dunes show roots of long-dead forests, and traces of human habitation revealing desolation wroagbt ln part at least, by erosion. ° Voodoo of Old It was once considered dangertttS t© have your portrait painted, for some evilly disposed person might stick pins J#to iti with correspond^!? daager te the person portrayed. Plaindealer Want Ads bring results \vy'^Especially when they a^e made from Just try a sack of this Wonderful flour and after you have tasted these crispy waffles you will say they are the best you ever tasted. . . A 2-pound sample sack is yours for the Henry 92-R. . 0(01 He- McHenry Flour Mills WM. SPENCKR, prop. DOOR-DOOR " n»iinr FREE PICK-U PtinJ D ELIVERY SERVICE Here IS news! The Chicago & North Western Railway How has less - than - carload fcick-Up and Delivery Service that is simple, practical and economical. It is a complete door to door service and reduces to a minimum the effort of the shipper and consignee. There is no divided responsibility --no drayage charge--no confusion of any kind--yet no additional charge is made for this service. V and the Service is COMPREHENSIVE "North Western" performs this service at any of its agency stations, numbering almo&t~l,000, on any less-than-carload shipment regardless of origin or destination. Local "business benefits because local Draying contractors do the work in communities served by our line. Ask any North Wester*- SHIP AND TRAVEL Miiuain Representative M full information S44I; E NORTH WESTERN JIY. I.A.A. ANNUAL MEETING SPEAKERS Illinois farmers^wili hear these speakers, also F. H. Van Or man of Indiana, and others when they gather at DECATUR, JAN. 29-30-31, tor the ANNUAL CONVENTION of the ILLINOIS AGRICULTURAL ASSOCIATION. "Misniil A. Olfaal oi Alabama. y--tdsnt American Fans Sanaa Federation. Above, left--Gen. BobL E. Woe4. Chicago business leader. Eight-- Rep. Marvin Jones of Texas. Chairman House Committee on Agriculture. Center--Cheater C. Doris. Administrator Agricultural Adjustment Act rsesiillr invalidated fey IN . Supreme Coart. Earl C. Smith al Pike pveaideul Illinois Aq. Association