MAMING THE BABY, come tb see. us-- p-~ Come to see us--arid, them maybe, x Come because' they'"heard that me and Wife was (?oin' to name the baby- - 6 ' An' of course, they all had with 'era Names for baby-they thought suitin';. . Name?some'grmidy like^nnd cuffs, • _i_ Others sort o' lrt£alutin'. Dear old auntie said to name it^. Name' the baby, sweet -Susannah; "" Then for slrost we'd call her later > Susy dear, or little Anna. One smart miss who'd read the novels, a Where she'd learned, I spose, the fad is, <As she called it), for outlandish Names, said call the darling Gladys. • . And a blushing, gushing damsel « Squeezed the baby,,O, and could she Name the pinky dimpled darling, 'twould be sweetsv tootsy wootsy. $ Then a maiden of uncertain Age and of severe demeanor, Said were baby hers she'd oame.it.- Anne llortensia Seraphiua. So they all went on: 'Twas Saidy, „ Daisy, Aliqe, Nell, Matilda, Phebe, Rachel, Nora, Mabel, Fanny, Lucy, Ruth, Griseida, Patience, Freda, Pliilomeha, Ursula, Felicia, Land o' ^Goodness! Agatha, Priscilla, Jess, Keturah, Beth, Ariianda, Achsa, Abigail, Keziah, Winifred. Lucinda. Maudie, .,/• Slillicent, Elvira. Mildred, Jane Mfe-het-a-bel--O Lordy! I' hain't sayin' 'them names ain't right An' fittin', too. sometimes. But still. The folks roiin'ch?re will call that kid-, When'it gets gro.wed, mosfwise jes' Bill. t--Free Press. A XIGTIT in the tropics has a charm and beauty all its own. The soft, languorous breath of the trade wind gives a darker shade to the face, a deeper black to the eyes, and thins the quick-flowing blood, while it soothes the senses to dreamy restfulness. * The patio or inner garden of th •great hacienda was as large as a city hlock and tilled with flowers, shrubs, trees and fountains. Around two sides was a gallery with benches, rugs and hammocks. /"issapped her life. What we well know Across the wide entry the dinin&^fis this--each daughter of the race has room was lighted by many candles, •while steaming dishes, borne by In- •diah servants, carried brave recom pense to weary riders in from journey, •chase or roundup. I was the only one of my party who «poke Spanish readily, and was some Tears younger then than now. Thus it chanced that, while others zprolonged the feast, drank toasts and made merry I sat with the daughter •of the house in the moonlight. Her face was dark, black were her eyes and hair; the latter had a touch of waviness which suggested a darker •than Castilian or Indian blood some where in the dim past. •Our talk flowed on in liquid Span-. Ish. My wearied limbs and eyes were resting from saddle, sun and dust; fragments of song and speech came to us from open doors. The night before I had slept under ."blankets with saddle for pillow, on *the mountain summit, twenty leagues •away to the north. Ten leagues beyond that were the .»nd of the rails and the last telegraph •station. We were beyond the pulse- beat of our modern world--fairly Into -the old traditionary Mexico. -"Yes," she said, "this hacienda is "•very old; older, they say, than the great cities of your country, if you wish it, certainly, but I cannot tell' its history as well as mamma. She has a beautiful poem about it, too, written by the Padre Hidalgo." Rut I prefer to hear it from her own •words. ^""Well, as you know, Don Hernando "Cortez was the conquistador--the man who won all this country. After he thatf done this, the King of Spain, so the story goes, wished to reward one of his • captains. Some say it was Bernal Diaz 'but others give a different name. At :-any rate, the honor was accepted, not ifor himself, but for a relative, for a ;young man just out from the Peninsula --that is Spain, you know. And he was •given a great domain, from that moun tain peak to another many leagues away, and from that to a river, "and then to a lake, and thence back to the mountain. And he was called the Mar <3tuis of Aguaya. •"Five hundred square leagues is the tale--larger than many States in that great country of yours. And all this the King gave to one man--people, lauds and mines--to do with as he willed. "Of course, mamma could tell.it bet ter, but they say he was very hand some, and very wicked and jealous of his wife; that he used to ride far away to meet and gamble and carouse with other men as bad as he. "So, one evening he sat at cards with these boon companions, and luck went heavily against one of them. In an evil moment this one said some thing--no oue knows just what--about the Marquis' wife--that while he neg lected her she was well attended by the major-domo. "The beetle-browed, Moorish-faced Marquis glared at him; but, to their .great surprise, said no word in reply. 'Perhaps he bad heard it before; at any rate his dark heart was lired with jea!- «ousy and murder. ^A iitle later he pleaded a headache and sought his rooms. Once there he changed his dress, stole softly out, mounted his famous black stallion--the only"one in all Mexico--and rode forth to take the evening alt*. • ; • "After a few moments be turned^ his end and directed his cours©; toward his--this--hacienda. Then ljer went like the wind. • \ "Five leagues away he cameito the first wniuda. You must know tSi&t in those days, when the master* went abroad, a retinue followed with horses, and these were held at a distance of four or five leagues all along the line, so*-he should, have ever at 0harid fresh horses as he needed them. With each horse at each remuda, or station, was an Indian servant At the first he changed and, it is supposed, bade the servant care well for the black charger and await his return. On intcf the night he rode, tak ing a fresh mount at every remuda, - "You see that mountain? Well, he came from far beyond that No one can tell jugt whence he came, the rancho is gone now; they say that when he broke into the hacienda In the middle of the night he had ridden more than thirty leagues. - • "When lie came-in at the great gate his heart was as black as his face, and his eyes glowed like coals of fire. "What he found no one knows. The story is that he stabbed the guard at the gate, rushed into his wife's room and killed her--some say the major- domo also--and one child. The/other, a little girl, fled in terror to the servants' quarters. Then lie turned, mounted his horse and went back over the same road. "Before the;early dawn had come he led liis black stallion into the ranch stables, took a bath, dressed in clean garments and smilingly greeted his companions at the breakfast table. His headache? A thousand thanks; that i had passed off; he had taken a little gallop for exercise. Would they like j to have their revenge for last night's I ill luck?" "And was nothing done?" I asked. i "Oh, no. There was no proof. The j little girl and her nurse could not iden- J tify him; his black horse was clean and | fresh, and so was lie. -- --~' ^^Whesi-iaTerT^the news got abroad, he was very sorry, threatened venge ance, but soon after went off to the capital. He died within a year--sick ness, some say; others have it that he was shot or stabbed. "One very curious circumstance was noted. Every Indian servant through out the long line of stations was found j dead at his post, and each died from j a knife stab in the back. "But," with a shrug of her pretty i shoulders, "he was the great lord, and j nothing was ever done abojit it--ex- t cept just to tell the story as I have to \ you." "And the little girl that fled with the 1 nurse?" "She? Why, she married, afterward, j a son of one of the viceroys. You saw her picture iu the large parlor--and-- j I. like her, am called Anita, and she ! was my grandmother's great-great- j grandmother. I am the ninth of the i satBNBame. It was in that room he j fo/ind u^r. This is the ring she wore I PIRATES IN THE COLONIES. The Different Colonial Govei;.ntneata Too Weak to Protect TliemsclVea. We, in these times of America, pro-' tec ted by the laws and by the number of people about us, can hardly compre hend such a life as^hat of the American colonies in the early part of the last century, when it was possible for a pirate like Blackbeard to exist, and for the governor and- the secretary of the province in which he lived to share his plunder, and shelter and to protect him against the law. At that time the American colonists; were in general a rough, rugged people, knowing nothing of the finer things of life. They lived mostly in little settle ments, separated by lopg distances from one another, so that they could neither make nor enforce laws to pro tect themselves. Each man or little group of men had to depend hpon his or their own strength to keep what be longed "to them, and to prevent fierce men or groups of men from taking what was theirs away from them. It is the natural disposition of every>t one to get all that he can. Little chil<^ j I (The dren usually try to take away fro others that which they want, and Alleviatlon for Its Sad Lot. keep it for their own. It is only by I ve just been wondering, said nigh\ After a lVioment she added: "They say that only a\ small round spot above the heart--with not even a drop of blood-- showed where the wicked stiletto had carried as her birthmark the same tiny scar." In the silence that followed I lived for a space in the long ago, the fierce, primitive life in this fai'i-off corner of the world. Then, as the hacienda bell struck for midnight, from the banquet-room came, constant teaching that they learn that they must not do so; that they must not take by force what does not belong to them. It is only by teaching and training that people learn to be honest, and not to take what is not theirs. When this teaching is not sufficient to make a man learn to be honest, or when there is something in the man himself that makes him not able to learn, then lie lacks only the opportun ity to seize upon the things he wants, just as he would do if he were a little child. In the colonies at the time, as has just been said, men were too few and scattered to protect ..themselves"against _tho§&-who had made up their minds to take by force whatever they wanted. The usual means of communication be tween province and province was by water, in coasting vessels. These small coasting vessels were so defenseless; and the different colonial governments were so ill able to protect them, that those who chose to rob them could do it almost without danger to themselves. So it was that alLtht Western world was in those days infested with armed bands of cruising freebooters or pirates men who had not been taught, or who had not been able to learn, that they must not Jake from others what be longed to those others. These pirates used to stop merchant vessels, and take from them what they chose. Each province in tho.-e days was ruled over by a royal governor appointed by the king. Each provincial governor was at one time free to do almost as he pleased in his own province. They were accountable only to the king and the home government; and England was so distant that they were really responsible almost to nobody but them selves. The governors were just as desirous of getting rich quickly, just as desirous of getting all that they could for them selves, as was anybody else, only they had been taught that it was not right to be actual pirates or robbers: They wanted?to get rich easily and quickly, but thjy did not desire riches so much as to lead them to dishonor themselves In tlieir own opinion, and in the opinion of others, by gratifying the desire. They would even have stopped the pirates from doing unlawful acts if possible; seven who ha4 apparently died; and I made a hearty meal of cold ham" and 'porter. . Just before the train left Dieppe, a gaunt American fellow-passenger caine to hie and said: "I suppose, sir, you are an Englishman, ain't you?" To which I replied, with charming humor, that I was a Japanese. "All right," he continued. "It don't make a cent's worth of difference what you are. All I want to say is that if evef you come to the States, and make a voyage on oue of our lake boats, and eat ham in the face of the suffering public, you'll be miss ing when that boat comes to land.^ I'd have drawn on you myself this after noon if I hadn't been too sick to reach my gun. You hear me?" Since that day I have never eaten liam in the presence of seasick people. 1 would even be willing to read during a channel passageTf there were any books fit-for the purpose. I am wait ing to see some new novel, say, of the advanced woman school, advertised as "the very book for the channel pass age."--The Idler. \ THEY PITIED POSTERITY. Though Tlicy Could 'Not Suggest Any in Spanish, the voice of the master of I t^le'r provincial governments were the house calling all to drink to his toast--the last for the n^Tft: "Long live the North Americans! Welcome to the telegraph and the railway!"-- Free Press. Business Methods in Tennessee, One bright forenoon last fall near a deserted mill in the outskirts of Chat tanooga the following bit of Tennessee bargaining was overheard: An aged ne gro, driving an old, slowly moving mule hitched to a two-wheeled dump- cart, came along. He was bound for a jvood yard on the banks of the Ten nessee River near bj', where that muddy stream sweeps around the foot of Cam eron Hill and begins curving a grace ful bow to bold Lookout Mountain, which looms up before it. Just as the outfit had crossed a rickety culvert the negro was accosted with the customary "Howde?" by a lazy-looking native wearing a jeans suit and a broad-brim med hat "Howde?" grunted the negro, as he stopped his mule with a fierce jerk, which sent the front of the cart against the beast's haunches and the shafts higher than, its ears. When the cart had come to a stand still the young man took a portly chew of tobacco, slowdy adjusted his right foot on the hub of the cartwheel, and with slow, measured accents, asked the other: "How much be you selling wood for?". "Four bits a load, boss." After mature deliberation and masti cation the prospective purchaser drawl ed out: "Four bits a load?" "Hits little 'nuff, boss," replied the colored man. "Ilit leaves me only two shiilin' fer tot in' gin I pay two siiillin' fer the wood at the yard--little 'nuff fer totin'." "Yes1, I reckon." Then the languid young ma,n picked up a stick and began whittling, and the teamster sat mute in his cart for five minutes, breaking the silence final ly with: "D'ye reckon you'll want a Jag o' wood?" "That's wat I 'lowed I would, but I duuno," replied the other. I here was another silence of ten min utes, broken only by the slash of the jackkuife through the yellow pine stick. A horseman rode by "totin* " a bag of meal iu front of the saddle. After the usual speculation as tq-Triioni the stran ger "mout be," the whittling and the blank staring processes continued for several more minutes.- Finally, when the stick had been all whittled away, the prospective purcaser said: "\\ all, I don't 'spect I'll take any wood to-day." - His foot fell ldzily from tlie'hub, the wood-hauler clucked 10 his mul^, and the two men slowly went their respec tive ways. too weak to prevent the freebooters from robbing merchant vessels, or to punish them when they came ashore. The provinces had no navies, and they really had no armies; neither were there enough people living within the communities to enforce tlie laws against those stronger and fi rcer men who were not honest.--St. Nicholas. Old Manchester. | About 101)0 there were 300 burials in I the parish of Manchester in eight years, j A century later the population of the j town, township and parish of Man- | Chester and Salford had increased to ! DO,000. The wealth of the district grew | with strides which were equally rapid, j At the close of the seventeenth century | the houses of wood and plaster gave j place to more commodious buildings of ; brick. The manufacturers attended at i their yarebouses before G o'clock in the ; morning, a breakfast of milk and por- j ridge was provided in huge bowls for I all. and masters and apprentices alike ! dipped therein on terms of equality, | with-eoarse wooden spoons. A dancing I assembly opened about 1710; ten years I later there were bnt three or four car- | riages in the town; sedan chairs were j Introduced half way through the cen tury, and it was not until 1758 that any ! one in business presumed to set up his i carriage- ^ At the accession of George III. the j dinner hour was still fixed at midday; afternoon visits were paid by the fash- j iouable dames at 2 o'clock, and they , met in the old collegiate church at ! prayers when the hour of 4 was strik- : ing. In the evening the gentlemen as- ! sembled at a club, where the entertain- ! ment was at first limited to fourpence | for ale and a single halfpenny for to- j baceo, reaching at last to the unprece- i dented extravagance "of a "sixpenny- worth of punch." This was at the house of John Shaw, who had been a trooper iu Queen Anne's forces, and had brought from the Low Countries the the dreamy, blue-eyed girl, "what the next few generations"" are going to do for romantic heirlooms." "My goodness," cried the energetic black-eyed maiden, "I've no time to think of such things; mamma is learn ing to ride a wheel, and I'm busy try ing to keep a few of her bones intact." "Oh, girlsT' cried the thoughtful haz el-eyed damsel, "do you suppose that a hundred years from now people will be tying bicycles with blue ribbons and putting them up in the parlor as they do spinning wheels now? Fancy say ing, 'Yes, that was my great-grand^ mother's wheel,', and trying not to look pyoiid because of the fact!" "I suppose they will," returned the blue-eyed girl, "and'perhaps the poets will all be writing under such titles as 'When Grandma Rode a Wheel.' Yes, and girls will be wearing ancestral bloomers and sweaters to fancy balls and " "I don't doubt it," broke in the hazel- eyed damsel, "and people will be going to visit at remote farmhouses and talk ing of the delightful old-fashioned fold ing beds In which they slept." "Well, it doesn't sound romantic," said the blue-eyed girl, "but I suppose it will all come true. I wonder if I had better give up wearing common-sense shoes, after all? They wouldn't look quite as nice as my grandmother's satin slippers do now." "H'm; perhaps not. Do you suppose, girls, that folks wfll be putting on airs of aristocracy then because their grand mothers were in the Gusher College' football teams in the year 2000? There may even be a society of Daughters of Early Athletic Dames; who knows?" "Yes, and then the clothes, what a puzzle they will be! Imagine taking a blazer out of an old trunk and saying: 'This was my great-grandmother's, or, no, it must have been grandfather's, after all.' Oh, I tell you, posterity is going to have its own troubles in the good times coming." '"Oh, dear, yes," sighed the blue-eyed girl, "and there will be none of those delightful old love letters smelling of musk and things. Fancy treasuring a type-written document and writing a romance about it." The hazel-eyed damsel groaned: "Yes; only think of it. And don't forget the china. Do you suppose peo ple will be hoarding up the cups bought on State street at a bargain sale for 121/, cents apiece?" "I hope not, I am sure," said the blue- eyed girl, "but there Is no telling. Girls, do you suppose the curling iron of commerce will be extinct by that time?" "Not unless a curly-haired race of women has arisen, my dear," calmly replied the black-eyed maiden, "but I don't doubt that some of the instru ments of torture such as we use now adays will be preserved as 'delightfully quaint,' and, tied with blue ribbons, used as ornaments to dressing tables, instead of being ignominiously con cealed undei* them."' "Perhaps so." sighed the hazel-eyed damsel. "Speaking of instruments of torture, what do you suppose they will make of the sleeve extenders we are wearing now?" "Oh, dear, I can't guess." said the blue-eyed girl, "but, perhaps, they will display the yards and yards of hair cloth they find in old trunks as proofs that we mortified our bodies after the fashion of the middle ages." "They may be, right in that. Look here, do you suppose that the tin-type of to-day will be treasured as one of the miniatures of a century ago? Because, if you do, I am going right upstairs to destroy all of mine now." "I hardly think so, dear" said the black-eyed maiden, in a soothing tone;' "still, one might as well be prepared for the worst. I don't myself think that amateur photography is calculated to make posterity think any better of our personal charms." "Oh, dear," said the hazel-eyed dara- 'scl, "I m glad you spoke of pictures. Grandma gives the portrait painter her first sitting to-day, and, in the interest of posterity, I am going right home to try to persuade her not to do It In the bonnet she wore to the opera." Sterne's Plagiarisms. The following instance of Sterne's unblushing "conveying" has not, I art of brewing punch. The hours of I think, been hitherto recorded. In gathering began at G, and at 8 the : guests were summarily ordered from j the room by the burly landlord, and if his behests did not effect their pur- pose-tlie floors were fioodedjyvith water by his surly r' niaid-servknt.--1Temple i Bar. Ham and Seas^cknes^. Why is it that we never hear of books designed to be read on the chan nel between Dover afi'd' Calais? There is evidently "a great dearth of that kind of literature, for I have seldom seen any one engaged in reading while crossing the channel. I never read during that delightful trip; not because I am sea sick, but because I want every one to I notice that I am perfectly well; and j that end can best be achieved by waik- i ing the deck and singing softly to my- i self. i As has often been observed, nothing I makes , a man so unbearable as ex- | emption from seasickness. Some three years ago I was crossing from New- "Tristram Shandy," Volume I., Chapter 12, is tlie following well-known pas sage: ? hen to gratify a private appetite it is once resolved up6n that an inno cent and a helpless creature shall be sacrificed, 'tis an easy matter to pick up sticks enough from any thicket where it has strayed to make a fire to offer it up with." 1 In the introduction to "Baconiana," London, 1G71), 1. T. (i. e., Dr. Thomas Tenison), in comment on Bacon's words to King James, "J wish that as I am the first, so I may be tlie last of sacri fices in your times," writes as follows, (page 1(5): "And when from private Appetite, it is resolv'd that a Creature shall be sa'<> .rificed; it is easle to ^pick up sticks enough, from any Thicket whither it -liatli straled, to make a Fire to offer it with." There could not be a more audacious example of literary theft.--Notes and Queries. \ An Apple l'ora St,acthig Stomach ____ lot staving off the lihngry craving ! haven to Dieppe, and, being verv liun- • Zh^. n e t ali8 ""avoidably delayed it j gry, I went down into the cabin/where | Ev4ry time some men take a chew of cult to find anj thing better than j there were, by actual cohnt thirty-one i tobacco, their wives have something to an apple. ^ ,4 *n*n who were deadly seasick, besides 1 say about sin. - " Making Wall Paper. It is very interesting to go through a wall-paper factory and follow the pro cesses of manufacture. The designs are the first tilings observed. Formerly there was a scarcity of these, but now there is a flood, and a manufacturer must exercise much artistic taste and business ability in making selections. One was submitted to a New England manufacturer recently by a woman, who stated that it was dictated by spir its. The least that can be said of it is that it was not desirable. Various designers have different spe cialties--some flowers, others architec tural ideas, etc--and of recent years architects have devoted many of their spare moments to originating wall-paper designs. A complete design consists of three pieces--side wall, border and ceiling. The general width of patterns of the side wall and ceiling- as used iu the trade and manufactured by American machinery is 18 inches, and the length of the repeat in the pattern is either 11% or 14% or 17% inches, as suggested by the character of the design, the shorter repeats being the most satisfac tory to tlie trade in general. Many of the best effects are produced in papers containing only four to six colors, but as many as twenty or twen ty-five are sometimes used. Each color and shade iu a design means a separate roller to the manufacturer.--Boston Herald. Making Paris Green More Kffective. Paris green is soluble iu ammonia and carbonate of ammonia; but ex perience teaches that whenever arsenic in solution is applied to foliage, it in jures the leaves, says the Agriculturist; otherwise compounds of arseuiG with potash, soda, ammonia, etc., might be used instead of paris green. The fact that paris green yields its arsenic slow ly is protection against the destructive action of the arsenious acid. It is not unlikely that if some gum-like material were added to the paris green mixture, to fasten it to the foliage, failures from its use might "be prevented. It might be worth while to try adding a small amount of dextrine (British gum) for holding the green to the foliage. Worth licmcmboring. A thin coat of pure glyceriue applied to both sides of glass will prevent any moisture forming thereon, and will stay until it collects so much dust that it cannot be seen through.. Surveyors can use it to advantage on their in struments in foggy weather. In fact, it can be'used anywhere to prevent moisture from forming on anything, and lpcomotive engineers will find it particularly useful in preventing the accumulation of steam as well as frost on their windows during the cold weather. Coal. Coal is dearer in South Africa than in any other part of the world; it is cheap est iff. China. 4 -- - Flag ol' the Danes. The oldest .national flag in tlie world Is that of Denmark, which lias been in use since the year 1219. 'HOW PAPER IS MADE IN COREA. . - : ' -t" "••:•• Natives Make Paper that Is Pat to Many Different tJses. . The manufacture of paper is exten sively carried on in Corea, as there is a great demand for it, its toughness and durability rendering it useful in many ways. Tlie windows of Corean houses con sist of wooden-latticed frames covered with paper sufficiently transparent to admit the light. Oil paper, about one- quarter of an inch in thickness, is past ed oh the floors instead of carpets or mats, while lariferns of all shapes and sizes are' made out of paper, as are also fans and tobacco pouches. Oil paper is used for making the conical rain hats which are fastened to the ordinary black hat in wet weather, and-large' oil coats or mackintoshes are made of the same material. A very thick kind of paper is used for making boxes and trunks, which are strong enough to hold heavy articles, such as clothes, etc. The manufacture of a coarse sort of paper is carried on outside the north gate of Seoul, in a valley through which runs, a stream. Oil rags and paper of all kinds are brought out from the city and first placed in a large tub at the side of the stream, where they are thor oughly washed and all the dirt and ink beaten out of them. The clean materials are then carried to a long wooden trough, where they are stamped into a pulp by men who dance on the mass with their bare feet much in the same way as the juice is pressed out of the grape in France and Spain. The water is then allowed to run off, and the white pulp is thrown into a large woden tank full of water, slightly warmed in winter to prevent it freez- After the pulp has soaked for an hour or so the workmen take a bamboo mat, about four feet long by three feet broad, which they place on a wooden frame and dip into tlie tank, one manipulator standing on each side. The frame is almost immediately' taken out covered with a thin laj-er of white pulp, which is fin-own neatly on to a cloth at the side. The bamboo mat is then peeled off so as to leave a smooth sheet of pulp be hind. Asaiu the frame is dipped in, and another sheet is thrown on top of the first one, and so on till there is a pile several feet in height. „ The sheets cf pulp are then laid out in bundles to dry in the sun. hen sufficiently hard the sheets are cut up into small strips and placed into another wooden tub preparatory to be ing worked over again. Tlie second process is exactly the same as the first, except that the roots and the seeds of a certain plant called the "takpool," or starchwood, are,put into the water to make it glutinous, and thus fender the paper tougl and durable. When the sheets are almost dry they are taken singly and spread out on a flat slab of granite, where men with large wooden mallets beat the paper to the requisite thinness. For the thicker kinds several pieces are beaten to gether. I The finer kinds of paper are not man ufactured at Seoul, but at different places in the southern provinces. They are made by simply soaking the "tak pool" plant in water and extracting the starch. The layers of fine pulp are then worked as before described. In summer time every fat man re grets that he cannot wear a shirt waist CHURCH . DROWSINESS, v Tho Cause of Sleep llu^ing Sermons Explained in a Way. I have a scientific explanation of the somnolence which overtakes people in church. I used to think that it was the dullness offthe sermon which pro voked the sleep of the congregation. One remembers the actor who gave a private reading of his play to his friends, and when he was done asked their opinion. At last, when one be gan to speak, the playwright Inter rupted. You can have no opinion; you were asleep." "Ah," replied the critic, "do you not know that sleep is an opinion ?" And sleep is certainly an opinion,- and notr afi especially flatter ing one. But it may not mean that the ser mon is really dull. I have seen people sleep in church under all circum stances, and in the hearing of the most admirable preachers, prfeacliing the most eloquent sermons. I saw a man sleep when Mr. Spurgcon preached. Mr. Moody has more than once called out to have a window opened to wake a somnolent member of his audience. Canon Ivnox-Llttle is accounted a preacher of more than usual earnest ness and power, yet I remember onfce in "Worcester seeing a minister, clad in surplice and stole, and seated in the chancel, go straight to sleep while the Canon preached, disregarding the eyes of the congregation. And once when Mr. Gore delivered a sermon in that great abbey where he 1s now cdnon, people who sat in my neighborhood went to sleep .in shoals. No; my theory is that most times when the congregation sleep during-the sermon they .are -simply hypnotized. -For, consider the situation. Most of the conditions which the hypnotist de sires are present. There is a dim and subdued light in the room; the atmos phere is somewhat iclose, the tempera ture is high; somewhere behind the speaker, In a position which compels the eyes of the congregation, Is a jet of gas or a sharp gleam of electricity, In to which they look as the sermon pro ceeds; and the preacher goes on and on, in a gentle and monotonous voice, and down and like a mother's lullaby; and beholdjpiour eyelids are pressed down against our will by soft invisi ble fingers, and everything is deiiciou •- ly vague and far away, and suddenly people stand up with an awakening sound about us, and the preacher Is pronouncing the ascription at the end of his sermon, during whose wise and eloquent paragraphs we have humiliat- ingly slept. This is hypnotic sleep. And it is the fault, not only of the preacher, but of the whole construction of our ill-ventilated and absurdly light ed churches.--Pittsburg Dispatch. In Command of the Armada. In the Armada the crusading enthusi asm had reached its point and focus. England was the stake to which the Virgin, the daughter of Sion, was bound in captivity., Perseus had come at last in the person of the Duke of Medina Sidonia, and with him,all that was best and brightest in the countrymen of Cervantes, to break her bonds and re place her on her throne. They had sailed into the Channel in pious hope, with the blessed banner waving over their heads. To be the executor of the decrees of Providence is a lofty ambition, but men in a state of high emotion over look the precautions which are not to be dispensed with, even on the sub- limest of errands. , Don Quixote, when he set out to redress the wrongs of hu manity, forgot that a change of linen might be necessary, and that he must take money with him to pay his hotel bills. Philip II., in sending the Armada to England, and confident in supernat ural protection, imagined an unresisted triumphal procession. He forgot that contractors might be rascals, that water four months in the casks in a hot climate turned putrid, and that putrid water would poison his ships' companies, though his crews were companies of angels. He forgot that the servants of the evil one might fight for their mistress after all, and that he must send adequate supplies of powder; and, worst forgetfulness of all, that a great naval expedition required a leader who understood his business. Perseus, in the shape of the Duke of Medina Sidonia, after a week of disas trous battles, found himself at the end of it in an exposed roadstead, where he ought never to have been, nine- tenths of his provisons thrown over board as unfit for food, his ammunition exhausted by the unforeseen demands upon it,%fehe seamen and soldiers har assed and dispirited/ officers the whole week without sleep, and the enemy, who had hunted him from Plymouth to Calais, anchored within half a league of him.--Froude, in Longman's Magazine. Where He Wrote His Will. Strange things happen in Florida. A recent instance is reported \>y the Times-Union of Jacksonville. One of the queer documents in the office Of tlie county judge is a will writ ten on a piece of unpaiuted plank, five feet long, and one foot wide. The plank was sawed out of the house of Mrs. Ar nold, who lived just outside the city. The plank was part of the wall. On a bed beside it lay a sick man, John M. O'Brien, whom Mrs. Arnold had be friended. Before he died he wrote on the plank in pencil these words: "Mrs. Arnold, God bless her, shall have .all I leave." He left $500. The will is an unhandy document to file, but it servos its ma ker's purpose. Overbearing Plums. Of all fruit the plum is most likely to overbear. It would do so every year if the curculio did not thin it. As it is, it bears so heavily that it makes a great drain on the vitality of the tree, and also on its capacity ta furnish the min eral elements required to make the seeds. All stone fruits have very large seeds in proportion to their pulp. It is probably lack of potash and phosphates that makes plums rot badly in the sea sons when the trees have set a crop that they are unable to mature. Poor Fellow. The music made by a Salvation army band in a London street w:as not ap preciated by a gentleman who lived in a house near by. He sent a request for the baud to stop. It was unheeded and the gentleman cut his throat. Old Way Was the Best. Since we got rich and stylish, and took tcn»^ traveling 'round, ^ My, wife she calls me "Mister"--can't say .1 like the sound-- . v; And my girls no longer call me "pa," 'tis "dear papa" these days; I hey re all of them'all taken up with highfalutin' wayst I put up with a lot of things, but I'm blessed if I can stand To see my wife beginning now to write this new-styled Hand. Its well enough for Helen and for Clara, I suppose; They learned' the horse-track fashion while still they wore short clothes. But their nia was brought, up different^ and it's tough, I do declare, To see her learning the girls' ways now she has got gray hair! ' Ma always took to writing, and her hand- write's been ,my joy, Since ever_we..was~boy and girl way out in Illinois. When we was children long ago out in that prairie school (Run in the good old-fashioned way with rod and dunce's stool) She used to write her name and mine, and link 'em like our fate, Before she learned the capitals, upon her little slate. And after we grew up and I went off to war, how sweet The letters that I used to get in her hand- write, small and neat.. She used to call mo "noble," and a "hero of the land," And say she'd always love me, in a fine Spencerian hand! And real once she wrote some poetry, poetry, with rhymes, I've got it yet, you just can bet--about the old war times; It's in her prettiest running hand--not all sprawled out and straight. Like that confounded "angular" she's taken to of late. I s'pose I'm an old fogy, but I declare to day There's scarcely any sum you'd name I wouldn't gladly pay If we hadn't got so stylish and moved here to New York, Where you have to eat each kind of food with a different kind of fork; If we still lived where we used to live (Lord, how the bob'links sung!) If my wife would write as she used to write, when she and I was young! --Boston Transcript. Modern Learned Maiden. "Where are yon going, my pretty maid?" "To Vassar College, sir," she said, "Sir," she said, "Sir," she said, "To Vassar College, sir," she said, "May I go with you, my pretty maid?" " 'Tis a female college^ sir," she said. "How can one enter, my pretty maid?" "Solely by intellect, sir," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "Take an A. 13. if I can," she said. "Then won't you marry me, my pretty maid?" "Nay, we'll be bachelors, sir," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "I shall be Master of Arts," she said. "Then won't you marry me, my pretty maid ?" '"You would be master of me," she said. "What will you do then, my pretty maid?" "Try for a Ph. D., sir," she said. "Then I won't marry you, my pretty maid." "Nobody asked you, sir," she said, "Sir," she said, "Sir," she said, "Nobody asked you, sir," she said. --Courier Journal. Marie Is Foolish. According to Marie Tempest, the fin est opera house in the world is at Du- luth. A Puzzle. Alas! I am a graybeard; ? My years are fifty-three; I'm old and grave, but Bessie ne'er Will sit upon my knee. Yet once this dimpled maiden, ) With birdlike sounds of glee ; >* And sweet proprietary airs, Would perch upon my knee. And oft we've romped together. When summer winds blew free, But evening stars and sleepy eyes Brought Bessie to my knee. But now I cannot coax her; What can the difference be? Her gowns are long, she romps no more, Nor sits upon my knee. James B. Keuyon in the Century. Playthings. "Back to your playthings, child," my father says; • "I cannot tell you now." This when I come to him on long dull days, To ask him "Why?" and "How?" And other things that surely I should know-- "What brought me here?" and "Must I some day go?" "Whither, and why?"- They all perplex me so! Ah, precious playthings, who shall hold you light? You keep my eyes from tears, My empty hands from trembling; this my kite, That windward wheels and veers- Fortune I call it, and this pierry ball Is Pleasure, and, the dearest of them all, This Idol--broken; once I,let it fall. ,A :*v, X Then comes some careless hand and sweeps away My toys, and while I weep, An ache is in my heart.that such as they Had never stilled to sleep-- Its clamorous questionings; that will not bow To his denial, nor my silence-vow; "I have no toys. Ah, tell me, tell me now!" --Louise Betts Edwards in Seribner's. Natural. . In showing how one senst/is sharp ened to supply the loss of another, Dr. S. Millington Miller writes that Alexan der Hunter, of the land office at Wash ington, though entirely deaf, spelled without mistake 150 words read to him from the dictionary. He hr s become able to read the motion of the lips of those addressing him. The faculty is not rare among the deaf, and by means of it some of them, like Mitchell, the chemist of the tJhlted States Patent OfUcgj^aPje been able.to understand for their, gfadu-