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LAMENT OF THE OFFICE. " 43ir!a innst marry, I'Vpose, but us boy* we all wrishfed Mary wouldn't. 'Course, at six dollars a week wa'nt none of us as could hope Ryer to marry her so as -to get/her. to stay--naw! we couldn't. Why. she made twenty herself--marry us! Nope! CWIJ her Mary? I guess not! There wasn't nobody dazzent. Just.to ourselves we said Mary; I did, I mean, in me mind. Name seemed to fit heiV sort of little and street; but she hasn't Give ncr permish--she(..wasn't..tha.t...kind... lLord! what a dif it made in the shop when the boss he hired her. Gatch me missin' a day and her sittin' 'round the place! Called me "Tom" all rigjit, and I bet she knew we admired her-- Nice low voice she's got and a baby face. •Tain't no use my thinkin' how pretty h<jr Tips was when she smiled-- Droop at one end of her mouth and white little teeth like ricer-- - Them lips ain't for me; no »ich luck; all my chances was sp'iled When I was born so dumb stupid and her so nice. : Said good-by to tne, and she seemed kind of sorry to leave us. .. '• > Don't know where she is now, east ,or west; she is happy. I hope.,,: Sot you know who is happy; he'd oughter jjrst you:;b'elieve;usf Wellv we eouidn't expect her to marry , , us. Nop? ' ' ~Albany Egress., - , V'"V MICHAEL MUR­ PHY'S ROMANCE. **Aye, lady, whait a bit, lady, I'll stop the car for ye. There, I've given him the bell; he'll stop now. beyant at the road. Now, lady Oh, be the taek- o' smack ? I forgot the childer?" And, so exclaiming, the great, lumber­ ing, good-natured Irish conductor of a Flatbush avenue car stepped to the ground, went forward, and taking a child in each arm tenderly carried them to the sidewalk and deposited them be­ side their mother. Did she thank him? Not a word of fihanks did she utter. It is doubtful if «he though of doing such a thing. Some persons might have felt the want of politeness, but not so that conductor, for, with, a "There, get along with ye cow," to his motorman, lie swung him- - self under the hood at the rear of the car and began humming "Kathleen Mavourneen" as the car sped along through the field toward Jamaica Bay: His "bit of a brogue," his actions and ©Banner indicated very clearly that he had left Ireland but a short time ago, a.nc| yet he appeared to be thoroughly familiar with his duties as conductor. "The reporter , began to talk with the mass of Irish good nature. Getting ac­ quainted was easy enough. A few words about the speed at which the car was running and the danger it occas­ ioned and they were as well acquainted as though they had been through a campaign together. "It's a fine bit of level country ye have here, but jt hasn't the green," the conductor said. "The green--what green?" he was asked. "Why, man, the green of home, Ire- Sand--the emerald fields that would rest yer eyes if ye were blind. There's noth­ ing like it in this country, they say." "Have you been in this country long?" "Who, I? Can't ye see I'm a Yan­ kee?" with a chuckle. "But, faith, I guess it's not hard to tell where I came from. Comin' the middle of August I'll be here seven months, and comin' the first of the year, an' the job holds •out, there'll be more of me here than ithere is now." "More of you; how can that be?" "True for ye, but, big as 1 am, the biggest half of me is at home, and she's -31% a wee bit of a woman at that. But *l?6 'heart that tells, an' it's as bis as an •ox. It's for her that I'm here, although, 'God knows, it's little I cared for me job •at home when I had it "There now, be aisy, please, till i stop the car. I'll have no one hurt if I •can help it." He rang the bell, allowed •the last passenger but the reporter to «tep off, rang to go ahead again, and the conversation was continued. "What part of Ireland aid you'come .from?" -"Ballinamuck, an" me name is Mur­ phy--Michael Murphy, by the grace of Father Gilhooly an' the holy water." "Were you not doing well at home?" "Aye, in pounds, shillings an' pence." "Then why did you come here?" ""For the litle woman."' ""But you lef£ her behind you 7' ""Aye, man, but how could I help it? "Twas meself that only knew I was •eomin' when I came. Ye see, it was this way I was in the constabulary, an' with the evictions an'- what not I was always gettin' some poor devil in trou­ ble,' for they'd fight an' raise ructions, ;a.n' as I was the biggest man on the '.force I'd to take every one to prison. '"It was a hard life, an' me that ten­ der-hearted that f'couldn't bear to be «k»in' wrhat I had to do. But I said, 'As &«ag as I'm in it I'm in It, an' It's the law that's to blame, an' not Michael Murphy.' With steeling me heart with .•such thoughts as that I got along well 'enough until old man Loughran had the process against him, an' I was sent to put him an' his daughter Kitty in the xoad; an' he an old comrade of me father that fought with hkn in the Crimea. 'Twas the hardest job I ever did, but, praise God, it was the best one, too. "When I weht to put out the few- traps of things that they had, an' try- in' not to care a rap, his bit of a girl, Kitty, threw herself before me an' told •me for the sake of me father's memory •{God rest him) to leave them alone. " 'Would you have me break me •oath?'- says I. - " 'Your oath,' says she, 'an' me in your \way?' " 'Sure, you're but a sweet little crumb,' says I, 'that a fly could carry off an' be glad of it, too. An' with that I picked her up an' put her outside the thatch, with her "great eyes streamin' ' vtears. ""Then in for the old man, who was moaning'"and weep in' in the corner, I went. 'Leave me alone,'-says he. 'Take the bits of things out, an' when they're {gone I'll go, too; it's little trouble they'll •ever give ye, an' ye the son of the man ?3«aved from the Roosians, now forty years gone. Take them all; it's well the old -woman's gone, or her heart would . ̂ broke; an'.me, with lead in me shoul- that I ̂ ot for the Queen at Mala koff, too poor to pay twlnty two slill- lin's.' , " 'Twas little trouble T had to get the things out, save for me heart that was frettin' me soul; but what could I do? The process was ort them, an- I had to doit. • >•, "Every time I passed over the sill I saw the lass eryln' an* raisin' Her big. swollen eyes to me, an'- before 1 was through I was like to put them all back an* throw up'me,job. "As I went back for the ,Jast few bits, an' was turnin' me head away, that I wouldn't see Kitty, she says: 'Michael Murphy, that's the meanest day's work ye ever did, an' may ye never forget It till the day of yer death. There's not another is the country of Long ford that would do what ye have doue this day.' " 'Faith, Kitty,' says I, 'it's not me that's doin' it; it's the law, and a dirty old law it Is, too.' - - " 'An' you're a part of the law,' says Kitty, 'an' should be ashamed of the same,' "Then she got up an' followed me un­ der the thatch, took her old father by the hand, an' said: 'Come, father, the son of yer old comrade has turned ye out in the world. Ask no more of him; I'll .find bed for ye with someone.' An' they walked out, while I gathered up what was left and placed tlietn on the pile of old traps outside. . "By the time I was through, the neighbors had learned of the eviction an' began to gather as I was nailin' the rickety ol4 door that wouldn't keep out a cat I didn't get mauy blessings for-* me day's work, an' .only me size-an* reputation for fightin' qualities saved me from a beatin'. "I went back to report to the -agent, an' me heart smote me. As 1 was was passin' the barracks I thought of the small sum they were evicted for, and said tj^ieself 'Mike, it's a dirty trick ye did the day, to put old Lough­ ran and'Kitty out in the world, an' now that yer duty's done, ye'd better put them under th«£ti&itch agaiu an' not have yer father's curse on ye.' An' with that I went to me room ah' got the price of the rent to take to the agent. "When I walked in he says: 'Well, Murphy, did ye put them out?' 'I did that,' say£ I, 'an' I never did a worse job in me life.' 'How's"that?' says he. 'Never mind,' says I; an' with that he laughed an' says in a knowin' way: 'Kitty's a fine bit of a girl--a sweet­ heart maybe?' 'Not a bit, sir,' says I, for the members of the constabulary can't marry, do ye mind, an' I never thought of Kitty for a sweetheart, but I did then, an' her big eyes, an' rosy cheeks, an' sweet voice came between me an' the agent, an' I couldn't see him for a time, an' before I thought of pay- in' the rent he spoke: " 'Well,' says he, 'it'll be hard findin' another tenant for the old place, but I had to make an example of some one.' " 'Maybe I could find ye a tenant,' says I, 'if ye'd tell me the rent ye ex­ pect,' thinkin' quick. " 'There's little land, an' it's not worth much, an' tenants are scarce, so if ye can get me £5 a year for it it will do,' says he. " 'It might be long before ye get a tenant,' says I. 'True,' says he. 'An' if I can get ye one at once would £4 do?' says I. "He thought for a moment a says: 'Yres, if it's a good tenant says I: 'I've a friend that wants to get him a place, an' if ye'll rent it to me for him I'll take it at £4 an' hold it till he can come.' " 'Will ye be surety for the rent,' says he. 'Aye,' says I, 'make it in me name,' an' before I left I had the old place rented an'"the papers signed an' in me pocket, an' so he could not object I paid him down the money I had in me pocket before I left "I went back an' found Kitty an' the old man sittin' on their traps, an' every­ one cursing me an' the agent an' the lord that owned the place. It was some time before I could make them under­ stand that I had rented the place, an' when I drew the nails from the door an' asked them to help me carry the things in again they let out a shout that the agent could hear, an' with the things in they went "When everything was in I went to Kitty, an' says I: 'I carried ye out the first thing, an' now I'll carry ye in th6 last thing, that scripture may be ful­ filled, as Father Gilhooley used to say.' She was for gettin' away from me, but the women wouldn't let her, so I picked her up in me arms while they all laughed an' shouted, an' as I passed over the sill again with her I stooped me head to get in the door, an' it was then I whispered, 'Can the fly come back for the crumb again ?'j TT he don't wait till the law sends him,' says she, openin' her great eyes, an' as she looked at me I knew I'd have to get out of the constabulary, the precious bur­ then that she was. "Oh, but there was a time when the agent learned that the old man an' his daughter were back again, an' as he was strong with the officers, I was put to do all that was dirty in the county. After a while he had me transferred to Longford so that I couldn't see Kitty, an' we so hot in love that we were dy­ ing to see one another every day. How­ ever, one day I got leave, an' had Kitty meet me in Dublin, an' there we were married. Kitty went back to Ballina- muck without her husband's name, an' I to Longford to try an' get free of the service. When the agent heard I was tryin' to get free he interfered, because I had the lease on the place, an' he felt sure of gettin' the rent, "I got a letter last winter from Con Ryan, that's in New Y'ork, tellin' me all about the strike on the cars in Brooklyn, an' I says, 'Mike Murphy, now's yer chance. Go to America; ye can get work at once, an' then ye send for Kitty an' the old man.' I thought it iver for a day, and then, says I, 'If they won't accept me resignation I'll accept it meself.' So 1 called meself into executive session, presented the resignation, accepted it unanimously an' that night, bein' a free man, I cut for Dublin. From there I went to Southampton, shipped as a stoker and reached New York.while the strike was on. I came over to Brooklyn, was put qn a car, an' there, thank God, I've been ever since and sendin' money to Kitty to pay the rent ' "Was I- afraid of the strikers? Me, that had been evictln' at home! Ridicu­ lous, man alive!" "Is Kitty anxious to come here?" "Sure she's countin' the days. I have a little house along the road, with a bit of ground around it, picked out for her an' the old man, an', please God, I'll have enough, money saved come this New Year to bri^g them* over an' put a few traps of furniture in the house, a n V t h e n -- ^ Snap! Bang! Whizz! and the car came to a standstill. •/ . ^ "Bad.cess^to the fuse! it's burned out again!" exclaimed Michael Murphy, as he jumped from the car. While he was adjusting a new one to continue on his trip a car came along in the opposite direction. The reporter bade Mich&el good-night and rode back to the city thinking of the joy there will be in that little house with a "bit of ground around it" after New Year.-- New York Times. A Boy of the Right Sort. A reporter for the New York Sun saw a fat man sitting asleep in a doorway in Whitehall street. About his neck some one had hung a p!acard*on which was printed in big letters,- "This flat to let." Most of the passers-by seemed to think the sight very funny. Many of them stopped, and a line formed along the curbstone. Others grinned, and hurried on toward the ferries. Presently a young man of Jewish as­ pect came , along. He looked at the sign, which he probably interpreted to mean "Please help the blind," and put a nickel in the man's lap. The spec­ tators did not know what to make of his action. - He looked very solemn as he wralked up Whitehall street. A bright-faced boy about 11 years old came trotting down the street, evidently bound for one of the ferries.. Re was whistling merrily. He carried two school books under his left arm. When he got opposite the sleeping man and noticed the placard, the happiness van­ ished from his face. He looked indig­ nant. He ran up to the man, put down his books, grabbed the sign with both hands and tore it from the man's neck. The sudden pressure of the cord on the man's neck awakened him instant­ ly. He saw friendliness in the eyes of the boy, and smiled at him in a maudlin way. Then he got up. His hat fell off, anil the little boy picked it up and handed it to him. The man walked out on the sidewalk, with the nickel contributed by the benevolent Hebrew in a crease of his trousers leg. The nickel finally fell out. The boy picked it up and handed it to the man, who smiled again and took off-his hat and bowed with ludicrous grace to the little fellow. The line of spectators on the sidew?alk melted away with grave countenances. One passer was heard to say: "I wish I had a boy like that" r Mental Time. Some valuable work has been done by Professor Scripture, of Y'ale Uni­ versity, with the pendulum chrouo- scope, or the pendulum timer, designed for recording the time occupied by the various operations of the mind. Some of the tests of this instrument, made at a recent, demonstration, were very interesting. Skilled piano players know than one of the main essentials to a smooth and.artistic performance is the ability to press any required number of keys exactly at the same instant. This is much more difficult than is gen­ erally believed, but the timer will bring tl^e musician nearer to it than any in- syinent yet devised. A musician pre- at the piano was a-sked by the professor to move both hands at the same time in pressing the keys. He was quite sure that he had done so until the reading of the timer was taken. This showed that his loft hand was fifteen-thousandths of a second behind the right. To obtain this rec­ ord a telegraph key was put under each of the performer's hands. Con­ nected to these was an apparatus, in­ cluding a large spark coil and two met­ al recording points which rested on a revolving drum. The drum was cov­ ered with smoked paper. The moment each key was pressed a spark was made from its pointer, and the distance between the sparks was told off in thousandths of a second by a tuning- fork adjustment. In a similar man­ ner the psychologist can ascertain the time occupied by any given effort throughout the whole domain of mental life. The operation of the pendulum timer is' confined to sound, and a very elaborate series of tests is being made for the purpose of determining many hitherto unknown phenomena connected with sight and touch. Ijnaccurate. It was at a dinner party that the con versation turned on Florida, and its desirability as~ra summer residence. Few of the guests had seen it, and sup­ positions rather than facts were ban­ died about. "Is it possible you haven't been there. Miss B.?" asked a lady of her neighbor. "No," was the answer. "I've been to Europe and South'America, but nev­ er to Florida." "I rather wonder at that," said some one, "when you've been so much of a traveler." Miss B. laughed. "Well," she confessed, "I always have the feeling that Florida is infest­ ed with sharks and other bacteria." An Englishman bent forward across the table. "Pardon me, Miss B.," said he, "but really, you know, sharks are not bac­ teria!" THE OSAGE INDIAN. --i--f--f ; „ lle'Is Rich, Egotistical, Hates- Work » and Loves Gambling, ! There are now about 16,000 Osage ftp ttlans, of whom 4tJ£) are half bloods, ̂ ays one who lias lived for "many years in the Osage nation. They have a reser­ vation embracing about 1,5500,000 acres of the richest land on earth, rolling prairie and water course, and here the unfettered Osage works his glad sweet will. He niay fence it, plow it, graze It or let it alone. Work is not attractive ,to an Osage. As an agriculturist he is considerable of a fafate. It is easy enough to get along with the Indians, once you understand tliem. They are peculiar people and one wants to figure on their being tremendous egotists. Nothing on earth is ever so Important to an Indian as himself. To himself anlildlanis a tremendous affair --nothing else ever is. I recall how one day an old Indian came panting up to me and remarked, with a? woe-ridden look in his face: . ' ; "Oh, my son, I am indeed near dead." I asked him what was the matter and he replied in accents of weary dejection: "Oh, my son, I hired a white man to plow for me, and be is very wicked. If I leave him for a minute he will not plow. So I must stand by the field in the hot sun and watch, or nothing ^'ill be done. I have been obliged to stay there all day, that this white man should work, and now "I fear I shall die.", ----- ' • .i;..- - A': • The Osage, as I said, is not much of a husbandman. Wrapped in his red blanket, lie scorns labor, and defies it. Were you to offer him his choice be­ tween a combined mower and reaper and a deck of cards iie would reach for the deck of cards. Once in three months the Great Father goes down in his pocket for the poor Indian. Then it is ^'payment day." But this is not exactly largesse on the part of the Great Father. The fact is, he has in his inside pocket over $9,000,000, the bank roll of the Osage nation, which he keeps for them. So in this instance it is only the poor In­ dian receiving his own. Parson Chowue. 0 Mr. Blackmore worked into a story the character of a notorious pair of parsons in a certain English county. Parson Cliowne actually was rector of^ Knowstone, and the tradition of his evil deeds has by no means faded out of recollection. The people tell still of the manner in which he revenged liim- self upon any farmer who offended him. He had two methods. One was to invite the man against whom he meditated evil to dine with him, when he would ply him with liquor, and >vlien his guest drove away, down a steep and rugged hill, the linch-pin of one of his wheels would come out and the man thrown from his trap and break neck or leg or arm. The* other way was less severe. He would say before some man whom he could trust: "I wonder how bad Farmer X. would feel were his rick to be fired?" Next night the rick would be in flames. Chowne never entered into alliance with the savages of Coleridge. Nor did he end his days torn to pieces by dogs, as represented in the novel. Several of the talpg told of him in "The Maid of Sker" are, however, true, as is that of his having introduced an apple pip into the eye of a horse that belonged to a baronet in the neighborhood, against whom he bore a grudge. The story is told of Parson Chowne that the Bishop of Exeter sent word that he would visit him. Chowne had a portion of the road dug up and filled with peat water and then covered over with sticks and furze and a sprinkling of soil. The bishop's carriage went in, and the bishop was upset, but Henry of Exeter was not the man to be stop­ ped by such a matter as a breakdown --not on the road, but of the road--and he walked forward on foot. "Mr. Chowne," said he, "I've heard strange stories of you." "Waal, my lord," answered the rec­ tor, "so hev I of you. But, my lord, us be gentlemen, you and I, and us pays no notice to the chitter chatter of a pars'l o' fules." Nothing could be brought home to Chowne. He was far too clever a man to allow himself to be caught in his malpractice. Toward the end of his days he resigned his living and resided in a house, of his own. The Seasoning of Stone. Stone, like lumber, requires season- ins. Stone is often spoken of as the synonym of solidity--"as solid as a rock," we say, but as a matter of fact, stone is very far from being solid. A cubic foot of the most compact gran­ ite, for instance, weighs about 104 pounds, w;hile a cubic foot of iron weighs 4G4 pounds. This plainly shows that in between the atoms wliioh com­ pose the mass of the most enduring stone there exists much space for air, moisture, etc. This seasoning of stone prior to use for building purposes has been well understood by the archi­ tects of all ages, but in the modern rush of nineteenth century building too lit­ tle attention has been paid to it Now it enters into the calculations of every good architect A Deadly Poisonous Beeswax. Wax is a substance secreted by bees that is said to be analogous to the fat of the higher animals. In Patagonia, Terre del Fuego and other portions of southern South America honey is never eaten. In the countries' mentioned all beeswax is t livid, whitish blue color, and more poisonous than either strych­ nine'of arsenic. ' Japanese Street Kmblems. The sign of the average Japanese shopkeeper at once deceives the for­ eigners, as, for instance, a pair of huge square spectacles, filled with gold leaf, is not the sign of an oculist or specta­ cle-maker, but that of a goldbeater or working jeweler. Druggists do not dis­ play a mortar and pestle, but simply an enormous bag, an imitation of the small ones they use for infusing their medicines. Tobacconists bang out a sort of snuff-colored banner, bearing Chinese characters setting forth their name and perhaps their trademark. They never indulge in wooden images of Indian chiefs or ponderous Dutch­ men. The Japanese saloonkeepers, or rather the dealers in rice whisky or sake, advertise their business by ex­ hibiting a painting of Fujiyana, the sa­ cred mountain. What possible rela­ tion there is between a mountain and rice whisky the unsophisticated West­ ern mind cannot easily discover, unless it is intended to convey the informa­ tion that, as Fujiyana is unsurpassed among mountains, so sweet sake among liquors. Hatmakers hang before their shops a long string of hats which look like a row of gigantic mushrooms dangling in the wind. Hat dealers also sell strawT sandals, or wooden clogs with plaited soles and all similar ar­ ticles, for the shoemaker and the'hatter are usually one and the same individ­ ual. The grocer hangs out two tin fishes, painted red and fastened • together at the gills with straw, while the kite- makers utilize the cuttlefish as an ad­ vertisement of their business. Florists plant a slender willow tree at a corner of their house as a sign that they sell cut flowers. Lacquer shops may be known by the sign of a cliipbox like those in which the lacquer comes pack- ed. The hair workers have a very sin­ gular sign; it consists of an octagonal box with a fringe of hair suspended from it, which makes it look,as if some one had tried to put a wig in the box, but neglected to tuck it all in. The dealers in cosmetics, who selLthat me­ tallic red the Japanese women spread so thickly on thejr upper lip that Tie green luster frequently shows, are rec­ ognized by the small red flag hanging over the., entrance. Houses where r^e05ba7,l™or4itick w heatTnacifl'bpl, is for sale, have a paper lantern In front, bearing the name of the house. Merchants- whOH-sell sushi-Mhe little roll o£ rice and fish of which the Jap­ anese are so fond--put out a little ban­ ner with the name of the restaurant and some of the other articles of food they are prepared to place before cus­ tomers. In Tokio a few of the shop­ keepers are beginning to translate their signs Into English, with disactrous effect One shop near Ginza, the Broad­ way of Tokio, bears the following le­ gend: "The honorable meet to sail lier." A substantial looking building on the Ginza Itself recently attracted attention, for in front of it hung a great white sign, with black letters, and on it were the mysterious words, "The Before Station." This, was in reality an ex­ press omce or forwarding station.--' Printer's Ink. LIGHT-SKINNED CONQUEFJORS. All Aggressive Nations Are Fair and Endure War's Hardships Well. The world has decided, without much evidence, that the Greeks proper were a dark race. We do riot believe it, but anyhow, the blonde was unmistakably their ideal. Of Giiuls, Germans, Slavs, there is no need to speak. It may \vell be answered, however, that eacll of these instances proves only one rule-- that such conquering peoples come from the north; more than that, if the "Ar­ yan theory" be sound, they belonged to one stock; It comes to this, in brief: A certain race, dwelling to the north­ west of the HindoQ-Koosli ages ago was destined to conquer the world, under the names of Aryan, Persian, Celt, Teu­ ton and Slav, and the race was fair. That is so, but it does not touch the main fact that the dark complexion nowhere held its own against the light, though it triumphed for awhile often enough. If we seek the reason for this, One is obvious. Fair skin, as a rule, correlates--in Darwinian phrase--lofty stature and great muscles--advantages of the last importance until war be­ came scientific. But it is by no means certain-that the dark races of the early times were small. -There is little trust­ worthy evideuce; of course, but such bones as havG been found in this island and elsewhere, which can probably be assigned to the pre-Celtic era, are very large for the most part. It is not dis­ puted that the skeletons discovered by M. M. Riviere at Mentone are pre-Cel-" tic; the females average 0 feet and the males are no less gigantic. The present Turanian race remain­ ing in Europe is the Basque, and no­ body could assert that it is smaller or less adapted, morally and physically, for war than any existing. Those who have campaigned in unhealthy lands perceive another cause for the suprem­ acy of tiie fair. They are better fitted on the average to resist disease and hardship. Negroes of the West Afri­ can coast declare that a red-haired Eu­ ropean is safe. Darwin did not over­ look this assertion, and he questioned Dr. Daniell, who had lived many years on the west coast without inconveni­ ence. Mr. Daniell was "very fair." An old negro told him on arriving, as a boy, that lie would escape. J. W. Har­ ris in the Anthropological Review de­ clares that if lie had to choose men for service in Africa lie would have them all red-headed. * The explanation is, no doubt, that such are less subject to liver complaints. And the deadliest maladies of campaigning, such as dysentery, are connected with the liver. --New Y'ork Times. Care ol' the Ear in Childhood. Defective hearing is a trouble that many children labor under,"caused oc­ casionally by disease, but oftentimes by lack of proper care of the ear pas­ sages. It is sometimes the case that the dullness and inattention of a scholar are due to impaired hearing; and the inability to hear distinctly all that is Said by teachers and pupils gives the pool1 child the appearance of being heed­ less and inattentive. The waxy secretion found in the ears is nature's own method of keeping the ear passages in " a healthy condition. There is frequently, however, an excess of this wax, and occasionally it hap­ pens that in cleaning the child's ears the excess wax is pushed further into the ear passages. Repetitions of this process cause the wax to become pack­ ed, causing gradual loss of the hear­ ing power. Too much stress cannot be laid upon the fact that pins and such articles should not be used in the care of the ears, as serious injury is liable from the article entering too far. Glycerine and warm water in equal parts is a mixture (and the best one) that will dissolve and remove the wax. Apply gently with a small syringe. Should there be at any time anything in the nature of discharges from either ear a physician's advice should be sought without delay. In such, cases there is almost certain to be some dis­ ease of the inner ear passage requiring medical attention. Prompt attention will probably saVe the child serious impairment of hear­ ing, if not utter loss. It should be noted that teething ma5r have close relationship to trouble in the ears, due to the swelling and inflamma­ tion of the gums. This inflammation is liable to extend through the eustachian canals to the ears; and any tenderness, accompanied by redness around the ears, is a sufficient indication to war­ rant calling the physician's attention" to the matter.--Mother's Department Babyland. Dogs in War. There was a trial of German war dogs at Dresden recently, in which the dogs came off creditably as military aids. They kept up rapid and regular com­ munication between tVoops and out­ posts a mile away, carrying the dis­ patches to and fro. They also served ammunition, passing from man to man, the number of ball cartridges they car ried being 2^0, and blank 250. Born with Teeth. There is a superstition in France that children born with teeth will be bril­ liantly clever. It probably arises from the fact that Henri IV. and Louis XIV., kings who left the greatest mark upon French history, and Mirabeau, the great orator, were all born with one tooth. Go to the ant for lessons in thrift, and to the traveling men if you want to have i a good time. HE WAS PUSSY'S FRIEND.. Remarkable Attachment Between a Maltese Cnt anil st Captive Eat Gorley Phelps,, a farmer, living two miles east of Fort Niagara, on the shores'of Lake Ontario, has an odd pair of pets. They are a cat and a rat. They are the best of friends. They eat together, sleep together and play together. The cat is a big Maltese torn, with a bushy tall and sharp claws. He is 3 years old and was raised from a kitten. The rat is is months old and was raised from a little rat ' Last September a year ago Mr. Phelps tore down an old workshop in the rear of his house. In an old boot there he found a nestjOf rats. The mother ot the Maltese torn killed the parent r&ts. and later ate two of their children. The third baby rat stole into a pocket of Mr. Phelps' coat,'where, at tlie end of three days, Mr. Phelps found it. Mr/Phelps at first intended to kill it, but the rat seemed so, tame that he decided to make it a household pet. The rat grew rapidly on meat and cheese, eating out of its owner's hand. Its life was in constant danger oh ac­ count of the number of cats about the house. Mr. Phelps put the rat in a small cage and placed the cage in a large box made of wire screens. The cats made frantic efforts to get at the rat. The Maltese toni, however, merely sniffed at the screen and walked away. This behavior decided Mr. Phelps to try to conciliate Tom and the rat. He put Tom inside the screen. Tom made several half-hearted attempts to get the rat out of the little cage, and then stretched himself out and went to sleep. . Every day for three weeks Mr. Phelps put Tom in the big cage, and the rat, which he named Cheese, into the small cage. Daily each became more accus­ tomed to the other's presence. One day he opened both cages. Tom and Cheese squared themselves, as if for an en­ counter. Mr. PhelpS threw some bits of meat between them. They hesitat­ ed, then both began to eat. From that time the two have been warm friends. They live together in the cage. By day they wander about the house or into the adjoining country store, which Mr. Phelps owns. Each is very jealous of the other. If anyone pets Tom, Cheese runs abojut squeaking and ex­ asperated. If Cheese is'the favored one, Tom murmurs his disapproval, and arches his back and bristles his tall. If they are separated they run about hunting here and there until they find each other, when they dance and jump with glee. Mr. Phelps has a large show window in his store. Tom and Cheese spend much of their time in it, and the spectacle of these natural enemies living as,friends attracts much attention.--New Y'ork World. Poetical Competitions. The Chinese have at least one Very gentle and highly civilized amusement --competition in making verses. Tcheng-Ivi-Tong says, in his book, "The Chinaman at Home," "Instead of shoot­ ing, or playing lawn tennis, or croquet, our literary folk, as soon as a certain number of them have a little time to spare, meet together in turn at each others' houses, and give themselves up to poetical tournaments." This is done in all parts of China, but especially in the province of Fukien. As soon as the players are ready, a vase is passed round, and out of it each draws a slip of paper, on which Is written a word denoting what part he is to take. He may be examiner, copying clerk, or competitor. When this formality is over, one of the examiners takes up a book and opens it at random. Another exam­ iner calls a number, say nine. The first examiner reads the ninth line of the page at which he has opened, and from this line a1 phrase or word is chosen as the subject of composition. Then a second vase is placed upon the table, to which a bell is attached. A thread hangs from the bell, and at the end of the thread is a lighted stick of incense. In about half an hour the stick burns out, the thread ignites, and as it snaps a weight drops, which at the same instant rings the bell and closes the lid of the vase. The time is up, and no more verses can be put into the urn. Now the clerks pour the manuscripts out of tha urn, copy tliem all on the same sheet o£ paper, to secure anonymity, and so submit them to the examiners. The examiners compare them, decide upon the best and second best, and one of the examiners mounts a kind of desk and reads or intones the best one. Each candidate may write and drop into the urn as many poems as ho pleases--before the bell rings--but has to pay a small fee for each entry. The money is spent for paper, ink and prizes. A second trial follows immediately, and the two winners of the first trial are made examiners in the second one. This may go on for an entire after­ noon, and in the evening a dinner brings the fete to an end. Returned a Rebel Flag. An unusual deathbed scene was en­ acted at Syracuse, N. Y.s the other day. Col. Silas Titus, of the Twelfth New Y'ork yolunteers, placed in the hands of his son a rebel flag captured from a Virginia regiment at the storm­ ing of Mount McGregor in 18G2, and said^My son, it has ever been my fond- est^ian to restore this flag to the hands bf the Officer of the brave regiment from 'WliichAt was captured. My condition, however, precludes the possibility of doing so, and to your hands I confide it, with the sacred injunction that you seek the officers of the regiment and restore to them the emblem. Say to them that from my deathbed I send back to them the flag with my heartiest good wishes and fraternal feeling." In Time or Eternity. "There is something about your "verses that Is quite nice, Miss Buddly," said the aged but truthful editor of the Clarion, "and I am sorry we are not able to use them." "Then," fluttered Miss Buddly, as she received back the little roll tied about with a blue ribbon, "you think, do you not, that if I persevere, in time I may be able to write very acceptable poetry?" "Y-es," assented the editor of the Clarion; "in time. Or at least," lie hastened to add, as a glad thought burst upon Ills intellect, "if. not in time, Miss Buddly," what is the matter with trying eternity?" . : ' : ' ' ( CAUSED BY VACCINATION. . 1- - •• The Awful Sufferings of a Schoolgirl. the Journal, jfatrqtu Mtehi, J Every one in the vicinity of Meldrum avenue andr Champlain street, Detroit, knows Mrs. McDonald, and many a~neigh- bor has reason to4 feel grateful to her for the kind and friendly interest she has manifested in cases of illness. She is a kind-hearted friend, a natural, nurse, and an intelligent and refined lady. To a reporter she recently talked at Rome length about Dr. Williams' Pink Pills, giving some very interesting in­ stances in her own immediate knowledge of marvelous cures, and the universal benefi-jKlce of the remedy to those who had used it. "I have reason to, know," said Mrs. McDonald, "something of the worth of this medicine, for it has been demonstrat­ ed in my own immediate family. My daughter Kittie is attending high school," and has never been very strong since she began. I suppose she studies hard, and she has quite a distance to go every day. When the smallpox broke out all of the ochool children had to be vaccinated. I took her over to Dr. Jameson and..i?e vac­ cinated her. I never saw-such an arm in oay life, and the doctor said he never did- She was broken out on her shoulders and back and was just as sick as she could be. To add to it all, neuralgia set in, and the poor child was in misery. She is'naturally- of a nervous temperament and she suf­ fered most awfully. Even, after she re­ covered the neuralgia did not leave her. Stormy days or days that were damp, or preceded a storm, she could j\ot go out at all. She was p.ale and thin, and had no appetite. •"- • ,'v<v "I haye forgotten just who . told ine about the Pink Pills, 1)iit 1 got some "for ; her and. they cured her right i up. She ha3 a nice color in her face, eats and sleeps! well, goes to school every day, and . is well and strongqih every particular, t have never heard.of anything to build up the, blood to compare with Pink Pills. I shall always keep them hi the house and recommend them to my neighbors." Dr. Williams' Pink Pills for Pale Peo­ ple .are considered an unfailing specific in such diseases as locomotor ataxia, partial paralysis, St. Vitus'-dance, sciatica, neu­ ralgia, rheumatism, nervous headache, the after-effects of la grippe, palpitation of the heart, pale and sallow complexions, that tired feeling resulting from nervous pros­ tration; all diseases resulting from vitiat­ ed humors in the blood, such as scrofula, chronic erysipelas, etc. They are also a specific for troubles peculiar to females, such as suppressions, irregularities, and' all forms of weakness; In men they effect a radical cure in all cases arising from mental worry, overwork or excesses of whatever nature. Dr. Williams' Pink Pills are sold by all dealers, or will be sent post paid on receipt of price (00 cents a box or six boxes for $2.50--they are never sold in bulk or.by the 100), by addressing Dr. Williams' Medicine Co., Schenectady, N. Y. L^OYAL TO OLD KING COTTON. Allegiance of Southern Planters Hard to Shake-Two Who Make It Pay. - "The low price which the planters re­ ceived for their cotton last year has led to a considerable reduction in the acre­ age this year," said E. B. Simmons, of Montgomery, Ala., at a Chicago hotel, "but the reduction has not been nearly so large as the leaders in the planters' associations wanted it to be. One rea­ son wras that so many planters were afraid that if they reduced their acre­ age others would :get the full benefit of it by failing to reduce theirs or even putting in more than usual. Some of them were so red-hot about restricting this year's planting that they proposed that the planters in each county should sign an agreement authorizing? a com­ mittee to go into the field of any man who planted in excess of the stipulated amount and destroy the surplus, but this was so radical it failed of support and so fell through. In Alabama and some other States there has been a de­ crease in acreage of from 25 to 40 per cent., but in Texas there will be a larg­ er crop than there ever *was before if nothing happens to it, so that on the whole I doubt if the output will be much smaller than it was last year, al- , though I hope the planter wrill get his share of the benefit of the trade revi­ val in increased prices for his product. "What the Southern farmer needs is to raise something else besides cotton, so that he won't have all his eggs in one basket, but it's hard to get him out of the old rut, and hard for him to get out himself, if he was disposed to, as his crop is usually mortgaged before he plants it, and his nose is On the grind­ stone all the time. The increase of cot­ ton mills in the South is going to be a godsend to him. I believo the New, En­ gland people who are coming down among us with their money and their mills will have every reason to be satis­ fied with the resulit, and if they make a great success of it it means eventual­ ly a transfer of the business--at least a large share of it--from the Eastern to the Southern States. It will be a benefit to the manufacturer because he will be nearer to his raw material, the cotton raiser will get more for his product and the hianufactured article will sell for less money to the consum­ er. "Speaking of planters, though, there are a couple of them near Sycamore, in my State, who are making a great suc­ cess of it. They are brothers, and are are raising cotton on a tract of 5,000 acres. They employ something like 100 men, all whites. They raise enough corn for the hogs and enough hogs and wheat to feed tall the men. All the rest of the land is given to cotton. • They save the profits of the middlemen by making the cotton into yarn with their own mill right on the plantation. Then they either sell the yarn to the manu­ facturers in this country or else export it. They have their own crusher, too, and make their own oil from the seed. Just now I understand they have a lot of oil on hand which they intend to hold until the market comes up to their ideas." Prepared for Hsnors, Hatter--But, my dear sir, that hat la so large that it slips down over your ears. Smithers--Oh, that Is all right It will fit m^ by Sunday. #I have three bridegroom dinners on before then."-- New Y'ork World. Rightly Named. Wife--What do you think of my new walking dress, Charlie? Husband--Should think there was room for quite an extended promenade -in the sleeves alone.--Boston Tran­ script. Absence lessens small passions and increases great' ones--as the wind ex­ tinguishes the taper and kindness the burning dwelling. ' ; ' » When we read .,we fancy we must be martyrs; when we come to act we can­ not bear a provokipg word.