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Pledged but to Trutht to Liberty and Law; No Favors Win us and no, Fear Shall Awe." •>« 1 ' . M'HENRY. ILLINOIS, WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 1897. Sole Agency ftp the Celebrated Flour! A Good Sqoirter, Barney Barnato's Philosophy. "Never let a man put his hands on yon without giving him 'what for,' and always have the first hit." "Yon have no right to spoil another man's game as Jong as he plays it cleverly. He will ex­ pose himself soon enongh when he ceases to be clever at it." "Never play the game above the people's heads, but as they think .tfiey understand it. You have a bit in hand every time then," and "Always wind up with a good car- tain and bring it down before the pub­ lic gets tired or has had time to fiud you out."--Maxims of Late Mr. Barnata Some London Statistics. An expert at figures says 12,000 ve­ hicles, a quarter of them omnibuses, pass through the Strand in London every day, and the narrowness of the street causes each of their 63,000 occupants to waste on an average three minutes. The smallest book in the world is a Eonversations Lexikon, published in Berlin and prepared by Daniel Sanders. -The volume occupies the space of only six cubic centimeters--0.860 cubic inch --although it is claimed to oontain 175,000 words. The book must be read through a microscope especially pre- pared *<» In making champagne the grapes are squeezed six times, each pressure mak- ing wine of different quality. Changed Plana. "How about that addition you were going to build to yom^u^ "I found it was gcfl^HRnake too big a subtraction in nMHwfccconnt." --ChioagpJournal. a The Height of Her Ambition. Bertha--What is the height of your ambition, dear? Marie (blushing)--Oh, something be­ tween and 6 feet.--London Fan. Who can think of some simple thins to patent? ng you wealth, i. Patent Attor- sws«ssi& All goods delivered to any ty. v OWEN & Washburn Crosby's Superlative Flour t Owen & Chapell's. ' . PUBLISHED EVEBY WEDNESDAY BY -J. VAN 8LYKE,- EDITOB AND PBOPBIETOB. OFFICE IN THE NICHOLS BLOCK Two Doors North of Perry & Owen'e Store, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION' One year (inadvance)..,?.......... $1 60 If Not Paid within Three Months 2 «i Subscriptions received for three or six months in the same proportion. MILO J. XJ , HOWE, PIANO & ORGAN Tuner & Repairer. All.Orders Promptly Attended to, McHehry RATES OF ADVERTISING: We announce liberal rates for advertising In the PLAINDBALBK, and endeavor to state them so plainly that they will he readily un derstood. They are *s follows: 1 Inch one year - •••,> - • 600 2 Inches one year - - - - i0 00 8 Inches one year - - - , )i Column one year - • - . 30 00 * Column one year- - - - # J <*• 1 Column one year 100 00 One inon means the measurement of one iaoh down the column,single column width Yearly advertisers, at theabove rates, have the privilege of changing as often as they choose, without extra oharge. Kegular advertisers (meaning those having aUoulng cards) will ue entitled 10 insertion of local notioes at the ratu oi 6 cents per line eaoh week. All others will be charged lu oentB per line the lirst week, and 6 cents per line for eaoh subsequent week. Transient advertisements will be charged at the rate of 10 cents per line,(nonpareil type, same as this is set in; me iirst issue, and 6 cents per line for subsequent issues. Thus, an inon advertisement will oost • l.oo tpr ont week, 11.60 for two weeks, |*.oo tor three weeks, and so on. The PLAIMDBAL&& will be liberal in giving editorial notices, but, as a business rule, it will require a suitable lee troin every bod j seeking the use of its columns tor pecuniary gain. W All Foreign Advertising payable quarterly, in advance, These terms will be strictly adhered to. BUSINESS (JAKJLJS. O. H GILLMOItE, ATTOliNlCY. Pjobaie work a specialty. Office in Kenual iloik, VNooosiock, III. KNIGHT as BROWN, Street, CHICAGO. ILL.. FRANK L. SHEPARD, COUNSELLOR AT LAW. Suite 80-132 ) Ula k St., onicago. C. P. BARNES, and ^TTORNEY, Solicitor, Counselor, nollections^a specialty. WOODSTOCK, ILLINOIS. FLL ANK R. JACRMAN, ATTORNEY AKD OOUJSBELOB AT LAW. Prompt an 1 careful attention to all mat ters loft in my bands, Money to loan, Office in Hoy Buck, Wiousiock. 111. Telephone- office, 56, residence. 69. 85yl O. H. FEGEliS, M, D- IAN AND SURGE< Ills. Office at Reeldenoe. JOS, L. ABT, M. D. PHYSICIAN, SURGEON AND OOD LIST, Office In Nichols Blc ck, over Plaindealer Office. McHenry Telephone No 1 DR. BAECHLER, DENTIST. Plate Work, and everything per­ taining jtoDentisiry. Parties from a distance should drop a card a a ay or two beiore coming. Office, McHenry. DR. A. E. AURINGER, PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON. Office in the Stroner building, one door west of A. P. Baer'sstore, West McHenry,111. Residence, house formerly occupied by Dr.s Osborne, All professional ealli promptly at­ tended to JOHN P. SMITH, W atchmaker &c J eweler MCHENRY. ILLINOIS. AriNB stook of Cloaks, Watches and Jew­elry always on hand. Special attention given to repairing fine watehes. Give me a call. „ JOHN P. SMITH. W. A. CRIST Y, •Justice ot the Peace. WEST MoHENRTP^LL. Special Attention paid to Collections. C.F.BOLEY, Prujrieior of McHenry Brewery -• McHENRY, ILL. Always on Band with the Beat Beer. ; * A. C. SPURLING, Veterinary - Surgeon West McHenry,III. Special attention given to the treat ment of Cowe. Office at residence on Waukegan street, one door oast of Hotel Park. H. C. MEAD, Justice of tK& Peace and General In­ surance Agent. Including Accident and IAfe Insurance. WEST MCHENRY, III. W. P. ST. CLAIR, , Justice of the Peace and Notary Public heal Estate and Insurance. NUNDA. III*! A. M. CHURCH, Watchmaker and Jeweler jVo. 126 State Street, Chicago. Special attention given to repairing Fine Watches an i Chronometers. 4ST A Fill Assortment of Goods in his line. A PROMINENT LAWYER. Of Greenville, 111., Mr. C. E. Cook, writes, "I have been troubled with billiousness, sick headache, soar stomach, constipa­ tion, etc., for several years. I sought long and tried many letnedies, but was disappointed until I tried Syrup Pepsin. I can cheerfully recommend it to any suf­ fering from above complaintB." J. A. Story, McHenry. West Sid© Livery, FEED AND 8ALE STABLES E. J. HANLY, Prop'r. WEST McHENRY, ILL. First class rigs, with or without drivers,, furnished at reasonable rates- Parties taken t •> and from the Lakes in Easy. Rigs, and prompt connection mane with all trains Our Riga will be kept in first class shape and we shall spare no pains to please our cua tomers at all timeB, Give us a call, E J. HANLY, West McHenry, 111,, Aug. 15, 1896. United SMsJarCIaim Ape? W. H. COW LIN, WOODSTOCK. ILL. Prosecutes all classes and kiBds of claims against the United States for ex-soldiers, tliMr wives, dependent relatives, or heirs. A specialty is maue in prosecuting old aui re jecteu claims, All communications promptly answereu li postage stamps are enclosed for reply. WML H COLLIN, Office at lesidence Madison 8t„ Woodstock Telephone No. 23. JOHN J. BUCH, Restaurant" ouse, Near the Iron Bridge, McHenry, Board by 'the Day or Week at Reasonable rates, & NICE LINE OF Row BOATS AT MT LANDING, for rent by the hour or day, at reasonable rates. Pure Wines, Liquors and Choice Cigars always on hand. •^FreshLajrer Beer constantly on draught Good Stabling for HorseB. ;FERRY ft OWEK. Bankers. MoHENRY, - - ILLINOIS. This Bank tecetves deposits, buy* and sells Foreign and Domestic Ex change, and does a General Banking Business We endeavor to do all business en­ trusted to our care in a manner and upon terms entirely satisfactory to our customers and respectfully solicit the public patronage. MONEY TO LOAN; On Real Estate and other first class security. Special attention giver to eo- lections, INSURANCE In first Class Companies at the Lowest Bates. Yours Be ivectfuly . PERRY & OWEN Notary Public Manufactured at New Prague, Minn. A. ENGKLNS Saloon Restaurant, for MoHENRY, ILL. - Wholesalei and Retail Agent SOULITZ Milwaukee Mi Co.'s Beer, THE BEST MADE. In any quantity, from a Snits Glass to a Uun^i*"id barrels. Orders by nc. u promptly attended to. ALSO, ALWAYS ON HAND Fine Kentucky Llquor8v French Bittersa choice Ales, Wines, Cigars, Etc." I bny none but the best and sell at reasonah'e prices. N. B. ROBINSON & GO'S Ale & Porter, by the ;Keg and on Draught, Call and see me and I will use vou well. ANTONY ENGELN. McHenry, 111.. 1896. sis Mills, are located in the finest hard wheat country. Are supplied with'most modern machinery. The Fancy" is fully warranted and guaranteed The choicest in the raartet. Bought i car lots only and sold on lowest poh Bible terms by SIMON ST0FFEL, WEST MellBSRY, ILL. Always in stock at Volo, III., by E. RICHARDSON, JOHN ROSING JOHN RICHARDSON, SMOKERS! When in Want of a Good Cijar CALL AT BARBIAN BROS, Cigar and THE OLD RELIABLE Tobacco Dealers OUR SPECIALTIES : Our Monogram, 10c. Barbian's Best hand made 5c The best cigars made. Sold by all local dealers. Inn Mjjtei int. J.D.LODTZ, Jr. Merchant Tailor. Has juet received his fall samples, direct from the manufacturers, and can Save you from $2.50 to $4.00 On every suit. In short will save you the profit usually paid to middlemen. Every suit he turns out is first class and a fit warranted. Suits, $16 00 and upwards Pants, from $3.50 to $4. Strictly hand made and guaranteed in every particular. Gents' Furnishing Goods. Am now offering my entire stock of Gents' Furnishing Goods, consisting of Neckties, Collars, Cuffs, and Shirts of the very latest styles. At from 10 to 40 per cent below cost, as wish to close them out. Come and inspect my goods, can save you dollars and cents. Very Respectfully, J. D. LODTZ. Jr. Barbian Bro.'s Block, McHenry. PAINTS, OILS, VARNISHES, Artists' Materials. PAINTING, GRAINING, KALSOMINING SIGN WRITING, ETC. Done on short notice, and cheap as good work can be done. WALL PAPER ! At greatly Reduced Rates, to close out Spring stock. E. B. PERKINS. McHenry, lune 30,1897. SUMMER Horse Goods! CUS CARLSON, At his Harness Shop, near the Red Bridge, has just received a fine line of Summer Horse Goods, consisting of ly Nets, Lap Robes., Summer Blankets, &c. To which he invites the attention of the public. He will guarantee to please you in quality, price and style. ALSO, A FINE STOCK OF SINGLE & DOUBLE HARNESS Which will be sold cheaper than the same goods can be bought elsewhere and war­ ranted as represented. REPAIRING Promptly Attended to. Do not fail to call at once and get the benefit of our bargains. „ CUS CARLSON McHenry, Ul., June 27. 1897. Standard , under both trotting and pacing rules. Sired by Lakeland Abdullah 351 (full brother to Harold, sire of Maud S), by Hambletonian 10. Dam Fanny B, a fast pacing mare by a son of Geo. M. Patchen, 2:23& >V!-£: Geo. O, 2:21%, is a chestnut horpe, a sure foal getter, and is bred as near like Geo. Wilkes the sire of trotters, as it is pof>8ible to get them. Geo. O is the sire .of 8 in the list, a grandson 2:19%, and others, as follows: Verv...' ... . .. s 28* Volnoy, G S ... '2:193< Cnntrevllle 2:3IJi <mith«oneian... 2,31 Chic.adre (3 yrt) 2:3 X Bon H 2:2Rtf Rtbel B 2:18* Hepry 0 2 Mary Lee 2:22>s Algonquin 2:27^ J. P. B '>:26K Prince T....\ . . . 2 ;2»* Barry D 2:30 And A great many olhor very promising onfs. I will Pt»nd G«o. O at mv plBce in M«H*nr£ III., at $25 00 per marr, payf ble n cash or due bin at time of service. Mares not proving in foal will be entitled to a return season or money refunded.at mv option A live colt guaranteed. The a1 ove price is final. Breed to a home that h n- proven himself both a trotter and a producer. L,. B. OWEN. McHenry, 111. ATTE fN TION. 33895. 8lre1 by Kn ghtmont 18709; record 2.24 At two year* old Be is a direct <^escen«ent of Hambletonian 10, on both dam and sire's si 'e. milking h m or.« of the be-t Stallions in ser. vice. .»<e is a fine individual, having good size. One action, of mild disposition and sure producer of see1! carriftgo houses ami road; »ters, which are always In d'mait'i in market at high figures To those who intend breed- ingH will -e for their interest «o call and look him over be.ore encaging for the season of 1897. SENATOR HOPKINS D be seen at the Staples of Banly Br ->s., X miles soutn of M<-.Henry Brick Mill, Terms of Se>vlce. ® IO To Insure, with return privilege to all mare> not proving in foal. Mcney due as soon as mare proves in toil. HANLY BROS. 2 M WEST MCHENRY, ILT.. '8 MJ U II lil JL1W I standard Under Rule O. This fine younK Stailion is four years old In June, color bay. with blactt points, is 16 2 hands high and neighs 1050 poudns. ED. DOWNING Waa sired by Pat Downing. No. 182«5 Record 2:13. One-half mile trial. 1:04^, an was said to have as mif h sLee'i as any horse living Bis dam was May First. S'sndard under Kule 7- Heftistered in Volume 10of Wallace's Am erican Trotting Kegister. EI) DOWNING will stand for the seaso* of 1897, for i lin ited number of Mares at my tains, in West McHenry. Terms. $10 for the Seuson. Do not fail to call and see this promising young ,'itallion. E. J. HANLY West McBenry, April 21, 1897. - ICE! - ICE! ICE! I am prepared to deliver Ice to families for the season. DELIVERY MADE Tuesdays & Saturdays. First delivery, Saturday, May 15th. Your orders solicited. W A. CRISTY, WEST MoHE A' R Y. II. L WITCH HAZEL OIL TOR Piles or Hemorrhoids. Fissures & Fistulas. Burns & Scalds. Wounds & Bruises. Cuts & Sores. Boils & Tumors. Eczema & Eruptions. Salt Rheum & Tetters. Chapped Hands* Fever Blisters. Sore Lips & Nostrils. Corns & Bunions. Stings & Bites . Insects. Three Sizes, 25c, 50c. and $l.OO. Sold by dragglsta, or sent post-paid on receipt.of price HUiruUtB'UO. CO., Ill * lit VIHaatt.,litT«k. A Whim of Louis XI. In "The Dtmgeons of Old Paris" the anthor, Tighe Hopkins, says the trans­ formation of the chatenu of Vincennes into a dnngeon was decided upon by •Louis XI while in a silrdonic wood. ' 'Ue walked one day iu the precincts of Vincennes, wrapped in his thread­ bare surtout edged with rusty fur, and pltfcking at the queer little peaked cap with the leaden image of the Virgin stuck in the band. There was a smile on the sallow and saturnine face. "At his majesty's right walked a thickset, squab man of scurvy counte­ nance, wearing a' close fitting doublet and armed like a hangman. On the king's left went a showy person, vul­ gar and mean of face, whose gait was a ridiculous strut. Louis stopped against the dnngeon and tapped the great wall with his finger. ' What's just the thick­ ness of this?' he asked. 'Six feet in places, sire; eight in others,' answered the squab man, Tristan, the execution­ er. 'Good,'said Louis. 'But the place looks to me as if it were tumbling.' 'It might, no doubt, be in better repair, sire," observed the showy person, Oli­ ver, the barber, ' but as it is no longer used'--- " 'Ah, bnt suppose I thought of using it, gossip?' 'Then, sire, your majesty would have it repaired.' "'To be sure,' chuckled the king. 'If I were to shut you up there, Oliver, you could get out, eh?' 'I think so sire.' 'But you, gossip,' to his hang- man, 'you'd catch him and have him back to me, hein?' 'Trust me, sire, said Tristan. 'Then I'll have my dun geon mended,' said Lonis. 'I'm going to have company here, gossips. * 'Sire!' ex claimed Oliver. ' Prisoners so close to your majesty's own apartments! But you might hear their groans.' 'Ha They groan, Oliver? The prisoners groan, do they? But there's ho need why I should live in the chateau here Hark yon both, gossips, I'd like my guests to groan at their pleasure with out the fear of inconveniencing their king.' Aud the king and his hangman and his barber fell a-laughing." How He Found the Fin. At an entertainment in Dublin thought reader boasted that he could find a marked pin hidden by one of the audience. Several of them came for ward, among whom was a confederate The pin was hidden by a Trinity stu dent in an adjoining room in the pres ence of the committee, among whom was the confederate. The student, sus pecting the man from his looks, slyly took away the pin from its hiding place On his return to the platform the thought reader gazed into the hider face, and, putting his hand to his brow was blindfolded and led the student to the hiding place; but, of course, could find no pin. He returned, acknowledg ing his defeat aud looking daggers at his coufedesute. "Now, gentlemen,"said the student "I undertake to say that if this diviner of the human mind will do as I tell him half the audience, without a single hint, will know where the pin is," and turning to the thought reader, he said "Sit down." He did so. There was a yell, and jumping up, the thought reader hastily pulled from his coattails the marked pin.--Scottish Nights, A Happy Return. Many amusing stories are told con nected with dueling. One has recently been told in which an English peer and a politician figured, and we venture to repeat it because we think it worth pre serving. The peer, for some offense, was called out by the politician and promptly responded to the challenge. On arriving at home again after the duel his lordship gave a guinea to the coachman who had driven him to and from the ground. The driver appears to have been an exceptionally honest, simple man. He was surprised by the largeness of the sum presented and said: "My lord, I only took you to "Yes, yes; I know that.' Bnt the guinea is for bringing me back, not for taking me out. I enjoyed the drive home very much, but not the drive ont. That is what I pay you for."--Harper's Round Table. • . Telephone Nausea. A St. Louis man has discovered new disease which he calls "telephone nausea." The other day, after Bending a telephone message, his face grew pale, his lips twitched and he pressed his hand against the pit of his stomaoh. "I'm deathly sick," he remarked to a friend. "Telephoning does it. Every time I talk through one of the things I'm overcome with nausea, which seems seated right in my stomach. Sometimes it is an hour or so before I recover." 'That is just my fix exactly," said his friend. "I am made ill every time I use the telephone. Sometimes I feel as if I would faint."--New York Tribune. Origin of Pale Ale. It is not generally known that India pale ale is so called because it was orig­ inally made solely with a view to the climate of the East Indies. Once a vessel containing a number of Bass' hogsheads for the east was wrecked in the dban- nel, but the greater part of the cargo was saved. Among other salvage, the underwriters sold the barrels of ale in London. The new beverage was warmly praised by the Londoners who happened to drink it, aud in the course of a short time a demand sprang up throughout the English epeaking countries for India pale ale.--San Francisco Argonaut. A Privileged Pair. Hojack--Silence is golden, I believ9? Tomdik--So they say. Hojack--Then the nuptials of a deaf mute couple might be called a golden wedding.--Detroit Free Press. \ Stimulants. Physicians constantly see patients who would be horror stricken at the idea jf being devoted to the whisky or bran ly bottle, but who seem to think that there is no possible harm in re­ sorting to wines of cocoa or kola, with or without other ingredients. In many instances these wines contain such i large quantity of alcohol that in addi tion to the stimulating effect of their medicinal ingredients they produce an effect equivalent' to that ihducad by a drink of whisky. They should therefore be employed only under the direction of a physician, and should a physicfan order them the prescription, calling for them is not to be renewed indefinitely, excepting under his advice. The same objections exist against the employment of all those preparations of bromide and caffeine which are utilized under different combined names in the treatment of headache, and very,much the same objection exists, too, against many of the so called headache powderB or tablets which are now. placed upon the market for the use of the unwary. These powders nearly always contain caffeine, which is a stimulant, and they also contain some drug derived from coal tar, which when taken continuous ly or iu overdose acts deleteriously upon the blood. I refer to such remedies as pbenacetin, antipyrin and acetanilid It is true that they do relieve headache in many cases, but they should be used with caution. You should remember that a headache is a symptom, not disease, and that it is a symptom of many diseases, ranging all the way from so serious affections as Bright'] disease and brain tumor to the headache due to lack of sleep. --Chautauquan. The Best Prose Writers. This is from The Academy: "Mr. Quiller-Couch's competition in The Pall Mall Magazine has closed^ He offered a guinea to the person who should state correctly the name of ' the man (or woman) who is (or has been during the past ten years) master (or mistress) of the best style in English prose,' and at the same time he wrote his own selection on a pieoe of paper and inclosed it in an envelope. In the result 81 votes were given to Mr. Pater, 18 to Mr. Hardy, 13 to Mr. Stevenson. 11 to Mr. Ruskin, 9 to Mr. Lang, 7 each to Mr. Froude aud Mr. Barrie, 6 each to Mr. Meredith and Mr. Kipling, 4 to Mr. Henry James and 8 each to Mat thew Arnold, Sir Walter Besant, Mr. Conan Doyle and Miss Marie Corelli, great number of writers received 2 and 1." If Mr. Henry James has any hair left he must be pulling it when he reads that he scored only 4. And the idea of mating Matthew Arnold and Marie Corelli 1 As well say that good, honest bread and fancy macaroons are one and the same thing. We think that the printed results show incapacity on the part of readers. A guessing performance would have been preferable.--New York Times. What a Model Bakery Should Be. What should be the essential condi tions of a model bakery? First, the building should be above ground, per fectly drained and ventilated, well or­ ganized, absolutely clean, and the ex pense of labor should be of no consid­ eration. The men should be systematic­ ally inspected with regard to their personal cleanliness, having, in the first place, been selected for employment on the ground of their good general health and temperance. The hours of labor should be limited, aud convenience for washing purposes should be provided. The buildings should be dustproof, in order to make dust contamination im­ possible. The ovens should be fired at the back of and not in the bakehouse itself. Water used should be of the very best and guarauteed quality, and, in order that only a proper proportion should be used for its corresponding equivalent of flour, it should be meas­ ured by meter. These are, roughly, the to a typical bakehouse.--New The Kins of Denmark. The king of Denmark is essentially a homely" man. He always walks abont the streets unattended, or apparently so, ready to help any one to de any­ thing. So charitable is he that, though his purse may be full when commenc­ ing his daily walk, it is invariably empty on his return. In connection with this constant state of being with out money an amusing anecdote is told. One day after an nnusually long walk he met an old and crusty courtier, to whom he offered refreshment. When it came to the paying part of the pro­ ceedings, he found that he was penni­ less. Seeing his son, however, he ap­ proached him and.said: 'Lend me some money. I have been treating , and I can't pay."--Lon don Tit-Bits. An Inevitable Paradox. "There's no use of expecting any­ thing else," said the misanthrope who4 had been persuaded to go on a picnio with his family. "Human nature is going to be inconsistent, and that's all there is to it. You'll merely waste yonr « ' time trying to make it any different.'* ' "What's the matter now?" asked his wife. "Hasn't the weather been good? And didn't people let you alone, so as to give you nothing to grumble about?" "Oh, yes, but did yon notice the singing as we got back?" ' "Yea And it was very nice, appro­ priate music.» ... Appropriate!" be repeated, with in­ finite scorn. "I don't pretend to be any critic. As far as quality was concerned the music may have been as good as any opera you'd pay $5 a seat m go to Bleep at. But when it comes to a ques­ tions of propriety, all it did was to re­ mind me of the downright and unalter­ able perverseqess of the human race. When people get back from a trip to Europe, they don't do anything but hustle around to get their luggage through the custom house and pro­ cure a carriage to take them to a hotel, thev nan wsi But when they where they can rest. come home from an excursion a mile and a half out of town they can't be satisfied unless they wake up the whole country singing "Home Again, Home Again From a Foreign Shore!"--Wash uigton Star. Edison's First Cheek. Thomas Edison, the Wizard, tells this story of his first bank check, back in the seventies: "I had just sold my pat­ ent on the gold and stock indicator to the Western Union Telegraph company > for $40,000 and had come over to vNew York to get my money. I went into the company's general offices to olose up the sale of my patent I was immediately recognized by a clerk, who ushered me into the presence of the president, who after a few preliminaries handed me a check for $40,000. Well, I started ont after carefully folding up the check and went toward Wall street. So uncertain was I that I thought on the way that if any man should come up to me and offer me two crisp thousand dollar bills for the piece of paper I shonld give him up the check willingly. When I got to the bank, the teller wouldn't honor the check for me. As quiok as my legs would carry me I rushed back to the " Western Union office, and they sent one of their clerks to identify me. Ireceived $40,000 in large bills. I divided the roll into two wads of $20,000 each and d Oil ft into Pnrh frnnstorfl stuffed one into each tronSers pocket, and after bidding the cashier and the telegraph clerk good day made a break to get out of Wall street as quickly as I could. The next day I began woik on my first laboratory at Newark." \ * ------------ Laughter and Insanity. "It is a very curious fact," said a celebrated asylum doctor recently, •s$':kZ "that, taken as a general rule, all luna­ tics laugh about twice as much as sane people. "One of my worst patients at the present moment exhibited the first signs of insanity by laughing continuously and without stopping for over a week. It was just after a severe illness, which had been accompanied by much mental depression, and his friends were so delighted with the apparent improve­ ment in his spirits that they had no idea of the real state of affairs until e doctor was called in and pronounced the man completely mad. Laughter after a surgical operation is a symptom always greatly dreaded by doctors and nurses. "That queer impulse to laugh which some people experience in the first mo­ ment of a sudden calamity is in reality one of the sharpest warnings of insan­ ity that any one could receive. "Some people fall into a habit of langhing at their own thoughts when alone. This should be always strictly R cheoked, as it is an unhealthy Bign and may lead to brain trouble later on. London Answers. One of the publio drinking places erected by the Philadelphia Fountain society is embellished by a rather unique design in the form of a man's face. It * is rather grotesque in appearance, and this effect is heightened by the fact that the water comes gushing forth from the mouth of the stone fignre. Two China- iifi men, evidently the proprietors of laun­ dries, stopped in front of the fountain lilfP and seemed deeply interested in it They cocked their funny little heads to one side, gazed at the spectacle from every possible point of view, and after a moment of contemplative silence pro­ ceeded to pass critical judgment upon it "Him squirtee belly good," said one. "Yes," replied the other. "Me likee bavee him all alongee my laun- * dly."--Philadelphia Record.