^uradBjf, May 1L 1991 THE McHSNRV- PLAINDEALER UNDER 21 - • -I' & 1? ¥^4 * A column lor teen-agers By Dan Halligan DEAR READERS: Dating is Similar io a phonograph record because it has two sides -- the good" and the bad. Two girls wrote to me recently, each with their own ideas about going steady. The girls don't know each other, living nearly 2,000 miles apart. I thought their letters were interesting and enjoyed reading them. I hope you'll enjoy them too. . DEAR DAN: I don't have a problem but if you have the space sometime, wish you would print my letter for the benefit of all those girls who believe going steady is dull arid uninteresting. IS I used to believe that but that was before I started dating my guy steady. Honestly, I've never known two people to get along any better than we do. We like the same things, have the same interests, go to the same church and look on the other's parents as otir second mother and father. We don't believe in parking, so there's never any worry on that score. We have loads of fun with our friends krid are ^always doing sonjethfrig in a crowd. It's not like you're out with a new boy for the firsr time and are afraid to- open your mouth. • I know that some steady dating dbesn't work out but sure our dating will eventually end at the altar in a Wyv years. Steady dating with the right one is wonderful. * DEAR DAN: I know you don't approve of 15-year-old girls going steady and neither do I. However, Ikm 17 and went steady for four months up until last week because I felt it was time I quit fooling around with as many boys as I had been dating. Paul and I had dated off and on for more than six months before he asked me that all-important question. Even then I wasn't too sure and only decided to try going steady when my mother said she liked Paul. ^ When you start going steady, you find out a lot more gwout the boy than you ever dreamed possible. Everything was fine for the first two or three weeks but then we started arguing. Paul got the idea that because we were going steady (practically engaged, he called it), that gave him the right to paw me whenever we parked. I didn't agree arid we had some hard words about it. I'm like any girl, I guess, and had a difficult time controlling myself sometimes but I always managed to and I'rp proud to say that. Our next biggest problem concerned dating itself. I finally realized that whether I liked it or not, going steady changed my life. I always knew I was dated up weeks lead of time for Friday and Saturday nights.' Some of the girls I used to run around with stopped calling me because they got the idea Paul wouldn't like me to go roller skating with them or going bowling. There were a lot of other things too and when I added them all together, I found out I was foolish for dating one boy exclusively when I wasn't having half the fun I once did. Breaking up, of course, was hard and Paul got mad at me but I'm glad I'm back playing the field again. -- Fun Girl. ® Well, there you have it, readers. Reasons for and against going steady as written by two girls i^ith experience. DEAFt DAN: My sister and I have always done the dishes at night but since she got a boy friend, Mom says I can't always expect her to help. We can have the dishes done by 7 o'clock, 30 minutes before the boy shows up but my sister always starts stalling and I don't thihk she's fair. Dori't I have a good complaint? --Kid' Sister. . DEAR KID SISTER: You sure dohavfe a coin plain I and If you Want to make her, do her part, hop right up ffom the table, wash the dishes and have them ready for drying long before the boy friend is due.' DEAR DAN: I have no one else to turn, td .except you but even you won't be able to help me, I kndw. My mother divorced my father seven years ago and only keeps my brother and me because she gets money for us; She's always drinking and brings men horine and tells me they're my "uncles." Some of them stay overnight. I would have run away long ago but I don't want to leave my brother alone. I'm nearly 14 and my brother is 10. Can I do ^anything to get us out of here? My brother and I have talked it over and have decided we will do what you suggest. Thank you for answering this letter. -- Washing* ton GirL DEAR WASHINGTON GIRL: I hate to be the one to break up' the remains, of a family but if your mother does what you say, she doesn't love you and the sooner your brother and you get away from her control, the better off you're going to be. « As soon as possible, talk to your clergyman, find one in the telephone book. Anyone will help you, I'm sure. Your county welfare department and juvenile authorities will then step into the picture and your brother and you will be on your way to a better life. The law moving in will also do your mother some good and in time she may want to prove herself. . DEAR DAN: I'm 16, old enough to qualify for a driver's license but my father won't teach me. He always says he's too busy. A boy at school says he'll teach me but Dad won'l let him. He says if the bov has any bad driving habits, he'll teach me them and I'll wind up in a car wreck. I say my father is unfair. Don't you agree that when a friend offers to teach someone to drive, the offer should be accepted especially considering what I've described? :-- Barbie. DEAR BARBIE -- Maybe it should and maybe It shouldn't. Your father's argument about the boy and any bad driving habits he may have is sound enough but we all have bad driving habits, teen-agers and adults alike. I don't like to see a teen-ager behind Hie wheel of • car unless he or she is at least a high school junior wherever possible, I also believe instructions should be given by * driver's training instructor in high schools. The behlnd-the* wheel course being coupled with classroom work. • Your father could check with your principal and find out for himself what sort of a driving record your Jfriend has. Then If everything Is okay, he could allow the boy to Instruct you. However, I still stand on those two basic rules: being at least a junior and obtaining professional training when possible. DEAR DAN: My mother found a pack of"^igarettes in my purse last night and now won't let me go out of the house for the next month. I didn't smoke any of them but she won't believe me. The cigarettes belong to my girl friend and I was just minding them for her. Should I be punished for that? -- Grounded. DEAR GROUNDED: A month Is a long time Mid If what you say is true, your mother could at least (jpntact youk* friend and ask her who. owns the smokes.' But then, what if your friend's mother doesn't know about the girl smoldngt See what smoking can do io a girl's social life? DEAR DAN: I notice that sometimes boys wjll write and ask if girls like them to wear long or short haircuts and. you always say short is preferred. Well, about how boys like girls to wear their hair? Do the boys like girls to wear their hair in a short style or long? -- Boy Pleaser: DEAR B. P.: As long as a girl wears an attractive hair style, whether It be long or short, I think that's all the boy* worry about. I personally don't appreciate that iyery, very short hair-do you see on some girls where they look as tt Paga rata* WANNA STEAL A w mm#***** Here's your chance to commit legal larceny and get a new VaMasai. When the salesman's back is turned, s&eak a look at the price tags. 1%, it's like stealing! Just leave yocu? old car and a few dollars a month alawit $42* will be enough. Yon sfeal new Plymouths, toot Better huxXy! • Based on Manufacturer** Suggested Retail Price for Valiant Model V-100 2-door Sedan and average local carrying charges for M month*, after 1/3 down. Transportation and taxes (local and state) extra. Terms may vary slightly with individual dealer's pricing policies. Lots of people are making steals on good used cars, too! YOUR PLYMOUTH-VALIANT DEALER A. S BLAKE MOTORS. Inc.. 3318 W. Pearl St. Ph. EV 5-3100 McHenry, I1L th®y came off j second best; Jin a hair pulling match* That type of hair-do may be in style but • lib's one I dori't care to see. and I think most btfys would echo my statement. DEAR DAN: My parents have practically ordered the to feet a steady boy friend and I just don't know what to do. Please understand, I have wonderful parents. Perhaps they're too wonderful because they always want me to be the most popular girl in our crowd. I'm 16 and most of the girls I run around with have steadies. I don't have one and haven't any interest in a particular boy so why am I expected to get a steady when no one boy excites me? Mom says if I don't get a boy friend I'm going to miss out on a lot of fun with my friends this summer. I know she means well but I think she's just too much of a busy-body where my social life is concerned. What do you think? Single Girl. DEAR SINGLE GIRL. Like' you said, yottr mother means well and wliUe I wouldn't say she's interferring In your social life, I would say she'd better take another look at the business of going steady. I hope your mother realizes that no girl ever asks a boy to go steady and that a smart girl doesn't go steady with the first boy asking her iff die doesn't like hiitp that much or doesn't want to go steady. ^ DEAR DAN: My wife and I want you to settle an argument for us. We're both 20 and I work for an insurance firm that has promised me a good future. My wife and I have only been married for six months and I can understand her argument but I still think I shouldn't pass Up this chance I've been offered. The company wants me to do quite a bit of traveling around the slate for the next eighteen months and at the end of that time I can possibly become manager of one of our. branch offices. I'll be home each weekend but my wife says that won't matter much if I'm away the rest of the week. ""N,. If I turn down this opportunity, it will probably go on my record and I'll never be offered a good promotion again. I love Kay as much as she loves mejffut I feel we should make this sacrifice for our future happiness and security. What do you .think I should do? j-- Young Husband. DEAR YOUNG HUSBAND: You asked me the one question that I don't feel qualified to answer. You have a good argument and so has your wife and I'm afraid the answer is going to have to come from yon two discussing the situation. Myself, I wouldn't have a Job that would put me on the road as much as this Job would do for you but on the other hand, If at the end of the eighteen months you might be able to step Into an office of your own, that's something else again. We could discuss points for and against your taking this new Job all night and still not reach a decision. This is one your wife and you wiU have to make. However, both of you should remember that if you Intend to make the Insurance field your life's work, you are going to have to make some early sacrifices for later Job security, pro motions and a good salary. MISSIONARY RALLY There will be a motherdaughter missionary rally, at the' Fox Lake, Baptist churcn Tuesday, May 16, at 7:30 p.m. The special speaker will be Mrs. Thurlow Yaxley, pastor's wife of the Edgewater Baptist church in Chicago. 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BEN FRANKLIN L O C A L L Y O W N E D - N A T I O N A L L Y K N O W N ~ V