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mAm mi > A woman's newspaper column in our society, like a woman's place, has been narrowly defined and narrowly placed. It has been confined strictly to the women's page and generally discusses a range of four topics -- all nesting subjects. The column's disheveled author(ess) must first establish herself as the world's most inept homemaker -- otherwise, why would she be writing the column? She picks out her pieces with the precision of a German automotive mechanic. She has to. She is limited to writing about her s children, her husband, her home, and her­ self. Nobody cares about her opinion of the price of eggs in China, but she is free to discuss the half-baked chicken liver omelette she served her un­ fortunate family last week. If it made them ill, the column is a sure winner. Sitting before her grease- stained typewriter, staring into a mound of dirty dishes, this self-proclaimed masochist must inject into each essay some cardinal rules of a woman's column: - That the author has ab­ solutely no worthwhile female skills like oven cleaning or cake decorating. v - That the P.T.A. has banned her cookies, the Cub Scouts have rejected her den and Good Housekeeping won't give her a ^subscription, much less a seal. - That she lives in a pigsty with her neglected children and good-natured slob of a husband who keeps her around on the same basis as the family sheep dog. - That she would gladly chuck the whole silly world of journalism if Housewives Anonymous could only reclaim her. A woman's column- in the newspaper must evoke no envy in those for whom it tells and sells. It must never inspire other women to follow suit and turn in their mops for typewriters. The woman's column has been a sop to society and a soul sister of those soap operas which drone on and on their deadly definition of a woman's place, a woman's role, a woman's destiny, a woman's world. Erma Bom beck's columns - the best humor around today - are a prime example of this journalistic closed society. Her columns are one vast putdown of herself. She mentions frequently that she is a dowdy, unattractive, middle aged, inept wife and mother whose * family is working on a way to recycle her. She has carefully created a word image of a bungling butter-fingered broad, instead of the talented writer and r business woman she is. When one sees Erma running around talk show after talk show, huckstering her new book, one does some fast mental arithmetic. One figures she writes with forked typewriter. While she is in­ spiring other women to stay put down on the farm, she's run­ ning around Gay Parrie with Dick, Johnny, Merve and Jack - now that he's back. We call this a rags to ripoff approach which isn't funny. She really should level and tell it like it is once in a while. Since we'd like this column to be different from the usual woman's column, we'll start with some basic honesty. We could have made it as a housewife. We really could. Except for one basic phobia we couldn't shake. We're deathly afraid of long hours, hard work, and no pay. The scientific name for this disease is "unnatural female." Old Timers At Lake Plan For Special Night An "Old Timers Night" is being planned for Wonder Lake area residents, to be held at the Wonder Lake American Legion clubhouse on Saturday, March 10. Some invitations have been sent to former residents who live some distance. Other old timers residing in the area are urged to come. Transportation can be arranged for anyone without means of attending. One old timer, Gordon Fossum, will be on hand to liven up the evening with his music and a buffet lunch will be served. For in­ formation or transportation you can call George Street, Stanley Wilson or Wilbert Hecht. Everyone is invited to come and reminisce and bring another "old timer". ON HONOR ROLL A total of 267 students at Southern Utah State college, Cedar City, Utah, attained honor roll status during the fall quarter.' Included from this area was Stanley Robert Steiner, son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert C. Steiner of 506 Mineral Springs road, McHenry. Steiner is a senior at the college majoring in Zoology. To be eligible for honor roll status, a student must have a 3.60 or higher grade point average and be enrolled as a full time student taking 15 or more credit hours. Straight A equals 4.00 on the school's grading schedule. ON DEAN'S LIST Nancy VanKanegan of Wonder Lake and Edward Storrs of Solon Mills were among 708 students named to the dean's list for the first semester of the school year at Illinois Wesleyan university. Students earned a grade-point average of at least 3.250, based on 4.0 for all A's during the semester. A-l Hearing Aid Repair Service 24 HR. SERVICE - FREE I0ANERS COMPLETE SERVICE ON ALL MAKES Zenith - Sonotone - Beltone - Telex - Otarion Fidelity - Acousticon - Qualitone - Vicon - Dahlberg Audiotone - Radioear - Maico - Siemens - Oticon ROBERT 0. STENSLAND & ASSOCIATES 3937 W. MAIN, McHENRY, ILL. WEDNESDAY ONLY 1-5 P.M. CALL 815-385-7661 Batteries - Cords - Earmolds OTHER LOCATIONS Mt. Prospect - Oak Park - Aurora - Hinsdale -- New Hearing Aid Rental Plan-- VICKIJ0HN80N ANNOUNCE ENGAGEMENT - Mr. and Mrs. Edward Johnson of 4419 W. Pairie avenue, McHenry, announce the engagement of their daughter, Vicki, to Thomas Hamil, son of Mr. and Mrs. Peter Hamil of 4808 W. Bonner drive, McHenry. A June 23 wedding is planned at Shepherd of the Hills church. Panel Reviews Book At March McHenry County Junior colleges and also an active participant in the League of Women Voters and McHenry a r riT7 -m jr • County Defenders. The third Meeting P®ne^ member is Jim Nies of * Brainard's Book store, who has taught English at the high school level and is now teaching creative writing at McHenry County college. The' March meeting of the American Association of University Women will be held Monday, March 5, at the home of Mrs. David Gardner of 216 Park lane, Crystal Lake, at 8 p.m. The program will be a panel reviewing and reacting to the book, "Post Scarcity Anar­ chism." Judy Thornton will moderate the panel consisting of Jane Franz, an A.A.U.W. member; Rita Halvorsen, a public relations consultant and an instructor at Harper and Chairwoman for the evening is Mrs. Edgar Ellinghausen. Hostesses will be Mrs. Gene Bengston, chairman; Mrs. Richard Calvert, Mrs. Merrit Christensen, Mrs. John Cowlin, Mrs. Harold Echternach, Mrs. Jerrold Michaels, Mrs. Chester Martin, Mrs. William McGannon, Mrs. John Mulligan and Mrs. Herman Renskers. MARYBETHI OSTEIN PLAN MARCH WEDDING - Mr. and Mrs. Gerard F. Idstein announce the engagement of their daughter, Marybeth, to John Ray Edmundson of Rochester, Minn. Marybeth is a senior at the College of St. Teresa, Winona, Minn. Her fiance is employed in Rochester. A March 31 wedding is planned. PERSONALS Mr. and Mrs. John Thompson of Burlington, Wis., ac­ companied by Cy Cobb, an old time McHenry resident, now of Worth, 111., visited the former's mother, Mrs. Elizabeth Thompson, Sunday. Mrs. Mabel Knowles returned Friday from a seven weeks stay in Deland, Fla., where she visited her brother, John Hallstrom, who is seriously ill. Mrs. Henry Stilling has returned from a week's visit in the home of her son, Anthony Caparelli, in Baraboo, Wis. Mr. and Mrs. James Brooks attended the Sports show in Chicago Sunday. Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Murray of Mundelein were Sunday visitors in the home of her sister, Mrs. Irene Adams. Miss Clara Miller has returned from a three weeks vacation in Florida where she visited Mr. and Mrs. Albert Barbian in Dunedin. James Spindler and children, Mark and Niki, of LaGrange Park, visited Mrs. Pat Spindler Sunday and took her to Crystal Lake for dinner to celebrate Mark's birthday. Mr. and Mrs. Fred Bienapfl attended the Wendt-Ruclos wedding in Woodstock Saturday and guests in their hom§ on Sunday were Mrs. Richard Seeder and children of Paddock's Lake and Mr. and Mrs. Bob Brugger of Kenosha. Mr. and Mrs. Jack Yegge and children of Grafton. Wis., spent CONCERT"COFFEE" The officers and Executive board members of the Belvidere Community Concert association are hosting a "coffee" for all the team captains and workers of the upcoming community concert membership drive Tuesday, March 6, at 7:30 p.m. in the First National Bank and Trust company of Belvidere. Mrs. William Warriner is chairman of this event. Committee members are Mrs. Flemming Flott and Mrs. Wilma Wait. The 1973-74 community concert membership drive will be held from Monday, April 2, through Friday, April 6. the weekend with their parents, the Bart Yegges, and Mrs. Edward Motulewicz of Wonder Lake. On Sunday Mrs. Motulewicz entertained at dinner in honor of the birthdays of Linda Bishop, Mrs. Bart Yegge, Wayne Motulewicz and Mrs. Josephine Motulewicz. Jennifer Hunt Wears Heirloom Dress At Baptism On Sunday, Feb. 25, the in­ fant daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Walter Hunt was baptized Jennifer Louise at St. Mary's Catholic church by Rev. Father Eugene Baumhofer. The grandparents are Mr. and Mrs. Gerald J. Miller, Sr., and Mr. and Mrs. Stanley Hunt, all of McHenry. The baby wore the christening dress made by her great-grandmother, Mrs. Joseph J. Miller, when her first child, Mrs. Clarice Miller Purvey, was baptized. Most of the grandchildren and great­ grandchildren have worn the same dress. Jennifer Louise has a three- year old brother, Dale. Don't throw away those old faded permanent flowers. They can be refreshed and delicately recolored. Your Home Economist may be able to assist. DORKIE'S BEEF & EGGER 4213 W. Rte. 120, McHenry NEW HOURS MON-WED 6a.m.-7p.m. THUR-SUN 6:00- Midnight FREE COFFEE TO Vf tu: SENIOR CITIZENS WITH MEALS FROM 11:00 AM TIL CLOSING FRIDAY SPAGHETTI NITE!! $150 CHILDREN $1.25 DIAL ME - 9 - SLIM THE SLIM-0-HOUSE CARY'S MINI - HEALTH CLUB also MASSAGES, FACIALS, HEALTHFOODS, ETC. Belly Dancing Classes Start March 2nd. 4 weeks, $17.50 SLIM-O-HOUSE 112 W. Cary St. Cary 639-7546 LOSE UGLY FAT OR PAY NOTHING MONEY back. MOS.DE*0?,". J" tablBi that will ,h«lp curb ,our d. IMS Contain? '°°!! Ea' ?• Contains no dangerous druai and will not make you nervous. No strenuous exercise. Change your life • • • «!«" today. MONADEX costs for twice *UPP'y and 55 00 or »wice the amount. Lose ualv fat or your money will be refunded with no questions asked by: BOLGER'S DRUG 0TCRE 1255 N. Green St. Changing Woman DM You Miss Our Luncheon ? FASHION SHOW LUNCHEON- Every Thursday Starting March 1st. 11:30-3:00 featuring tjononionoA BAVARIA HAUS 2405 W. Johnsburg Rd. Johnsburg 385-0714 * Mile East of Rt. 31 on Johnsburg Rd. HELD OVER BY POPULAR DEMAND (ONE NIGHT ONLY) |*SATURDAY, MARCH~3TO MCHENRY DINNER THEATRE PRESENTS I'ANY WEDNESDAY' I $750 PER PERSON INCLUDES ' Dinner, Play, Tax, Tip DINNER 6 • 7:15 CURTAIN 8PM FRIDAY & SATURDAY In Our Beautiful Lounge. . . 'The Board Of Directors' Band for your dancing pleasure (from I0PM-2AM) FOR McHenry Country Club 320 N. JOHN ST. - McHENRY ILL RESERVATIONS CALL 38-5-1072 GOOD CITIZENS - Two McHenry girls were among five from the county honored last Sunday afternoon at the annual Good Citizen tea sponsored by Kishwaukee Trail chapter of the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution). From left, seated, are winners of the award: Terri Radtke, Marian Central high school; Vickie Peterson, McHenry high school; Mary Beth O'Holleran, Richmond-Burton; Suzanne Vogel, Alden-Hebron and Mary Jean Buschkopf, Woodstock. Standing behind their daughters are Mrs. Richard Radtke, Mrs. Charles (Chuck) Peterson, Mrs. Dan O'Holleran, Mrs. Donald Vogel and Mrs. Harold Buschkopf. The Misses Alice and Leta Clark presented the awards. Entertainment was furnished by the Sweet Adeline singers, after which James Keefe of Woodstock showed interesting slides contrasting Wood­ stock of long ago and today. The refreshment committee served cake and coffee. SENTINEL PHOTO BY TIM DOYLE PAGE 2-PLAINDEALER-FRIDAY, MARCH 2, 1973 Actress Niki Flacks Meets County Residents NIKI FLACKS Stage and TV actress Niki Flacks arrived in Woodstock Monday, Feb. 26, to begin her appointment as Affiliate Artist of the Woodstock Fine Arts Association. The association is the first small community organization in the United States to present an Affiliate Artist. She will visit Woodstock four to six times throughout the year for a total of eight weeks. During her first week, Feb. 26 through March 4, Niki will meet the business and civic leaders, school administrators and drama groups of McHenry county and northern Illinois communities who will schedule her for future appearances before their organizations. Her Affiliate Artist presentations are always free. The purpose of the Affiliate Artist program is to bring performers and people together in ways which create new and rewarding experiences for both. An important part of the idea is to bring the performing arts to the audience rather than expecting the audience to come to the performer. Niki may be scheduled to appear before area men's and women's clubs, civic and service organizations, hospitals, rest homes, fac­ tories, youth groups, public institutions, etc. She might give a presentation for ten people, fifty or 150--for twenty minutes, forty-five or an hour. She will also work with the association's repertory group which presents in-school programs, "Encounter With the Theatre", for McHenry county students. An Affiliate Artist is a skilled professional committed to sharing his art with more people. Forty Affiliate Artists were chosen for 1973 from more than 700 applicants. His per­ formance is informal and personal, including discussion about himself and the relationship of his art to the audience. Niki might talk to children about the similarities of her life as an actress and theirs as students. With adults she might discuss the importance of performance to the housewife, doctor, teacher or salesman. Each "lecture-demonstration" is geared to suit the interests and ages of the audience. Those groups interested in scheduling Niki should contact the association's Affiliate Artist coordinator, Mrs. John Strohm. Niki will return Sunday, April 1, through Sunday, April 15; and Sunday, April 29, through Sunday, May 13. She is currently appearing in "Hie Glass Menagerie" with the Alliance Theatre company in Atlanta, Ga. Present Slide Programs For Alpha Theta Alpha Theta Chapter, the Delta Kappa Gamma Society International, held its luncheon meeting recently in Crystal Lake. Hostesses for the lun­ cheon were Mrs. Marie Husnriann, Edith Newcomer, Mrs. Kathleen Martin and Mrs. Ruth Nelson, all of Crystal Lake. Following the luncheon, President Marie Patton presided over business and committee reports. Mrs. June Stone, chairman of committee on Personal Growth and Ser­ vice, presented the program theme, "Intangibles That Fuse a Culture." A sound slide presentation of "Man arid His 100 th Birthday For Ella Adams Friday; March 2 Although many miles away, Mrs. Althea Gahgan of Val Mar Estates, McHenry, will be sharing in spirit the Friday, March 2, birthday of her grandmother, Ella Adams. This sprightly Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, lady will reach her 100th birthday that day. Mrs. Adams is known in this community, where she often spent extended vacations. She now lives in Central Park lodge, a nursing home, where she enjoys reading, writing letters and viewing sports programs on TV. Mrs. Gahgan said congratulatory messages were enroute to her grandmother from the Prime Minister and Queen of England and President Nixon. All of her family residing in Canada will join in the Friday celebration. Offer Clothing Design Series Did you ever search through a pattern book to come away without what you want? Then did you think to yourself "I wish I could make my own patterns." Twenty-five interested people will have the op­ portunity to learn pattern design as taught by Miss Marjorie Mead, clothing specialist. Miss Mead is a specialist with the University of Illinois Cooperative Extension service. According to Pat Sullivan, McHenry county Extension adviser, a Clothing Design series composed of three classes will be offered March 15, 29 and April 12, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Contact Pat Sullivan at the Cooperative Extension office, 338-4747 for more in­ formation and to register. CORNED BEEF DINNER The Richmond O.E.S. Chapter, No. 267, is planning its annual corned beef and cab­ bage dinner Sunday, March 18. The family style dinner, with homemade pies as dessert, will be served in Hastings Memorial (Masonic) temple, 5613 Broadway, Richmond, starting at 1:30 p.m. Culture," provided a most interesting insight into man's place in his own world, his being at home with himself. The next meeting will be held March 12, at 7 p.m. at the South school in Crystal Lake. Basic theme for this meeting will be "Expressive Dimensions of a Culture."