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by JOSEPH COOLS s t a f f p s y c h o l o g i s t -- new* from the Family Service and Mental Health Clinic of McHenry County T (Editor s note: This js the thirteenth in a series of specially written articles for McHenry county readers. Joseph Cools is a psychologist on the Family Service and Mental Health Center staff. This article is "Coping- Alcoholism, The Relative of the Alcoholic.") Alcoholism as a disease ef­ fects not only the life of the alcoholic, but also the members of the family. When the alcoholic is drinking, the family is usually angry, afraid, and feeling guilty. The usual questions are: "Why is he drinking, Js it because of something 1 am doing?, or "Can I live with this person for the rest of my life?" Even after the alcoholic has stopped drinking and has become involved in a treatment program, the spouse or children may fear that the alcoholic will one day begin drinking again. Guilt can also remain long after the alcoholic has stopped •drinking. There is even the puzzling reaction felt by many spouses of alcoholics that somehow they felt more comfortable when the person was drinking.^ These concerns are shared by all families of alcoholics, and the Alanon Organization was a rather natural adjunct to the treatment of these problems. Alanon is composed mainly of SDOuses of alcoholics, drinking or sober, who feel they need help in answering some of the questions they have about their role as a spouse of an alcoholic. The group can also function simply as a means to air feelings to others that truly understand what they are going through. Like Alcoholics Anonymous, the group has regular meetings. Of course, each member of the group has the privilege of the same anonymity guaranteed by the Alcoholics Anonymous groups. For children who may have difficulty relating to a group of adults whose concerns are different from their own, there is an organization known as Alateen for the adolescent in the family of the alcoholic. In some communities, there is even a comparable organization for pre-adolescent children. Even if the alcoholic is unable to come to the realization that he has a drinking problem, the Alanon and Alateen groups can be of unmeasurable help to the family. Next: Post Partum Depression. Calling Colleen Head Over Heels -- And He Drops Out! BY COLLEEN DUDGEON I met this super guy two months ago We started dating and we got pretty thick Well, all this time. I kept hearing 1 from other peo- - pie that he didn't want to date me and that he didn't even like me He told me not to listen to all that gossip So 1 didn't. Well, he was over at my place every night except maybe one or two nights a week. He also called me every night I fell head over heels. So I guess I rushed it without realizing it. He told me he loved me one night Another night later he called me and he Jwas about 75 miles from wfyete I ' was He was supposed to be there all week long He called me every night When he returried he just backed off very slightly. He did­ n't come over but he did call Well. I got worried. Come to find out he was running around. Well, he continued to call me about two more times and then he just disappeared completely. Well. I got in touch with him and he started feeding me more lines but he did say that he still loved me I started being a devil and did some pretty mean things We ended up in a one-sided fight -- Mine! Well, he left for the navy but there is one problem Hej? going with another girl Colleen. I really like this guy a lot and would give anything to have him back. 1 need some ad­ vice. Please Help! Lost In Space P S. If it helps any. I'm hip on zodiacs and horoscopes. He is Cancer and I'm Libra. Dear Lost: I'm no astrologer, but I can tell you that Libras are supposed to have a good sense of balance and fairness. Use your head. He wasn't fair to you and you're going to have to live with it. Don't get involved with somebody who cannot return your affection Match up with another sign or find a Cancer who can treat you right. * * * * * Confidential to Sinking Ship Mate: Get together with your husband and ask him to arrange a strict visiting policy with his former wife as to when you will see the child Make it clear to him that you don't approve of her phone calls and if necessary tell her yourself -- nicely. If she doesn't listen, take the case to a lawyer. (If you would hk« Col teen s comment* on your particular situation or problem, write COLLEEN Box630. Frankfort. Ky 40001 ) It's YOUR Money BY DONALD DALEY PRESIDENT FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF McHENRY IS YOUR WII.L UP TO DATE? Have you reviewed your will lately? Doen it meet your current needs, your eurrent nituation? (Let's backtrack further - do you HAVE a wHI? More than 70 percent of Americans who died in 1975 left no will at all.) Ah family situations change, wills should be reviewed periodically. And the changes em­ bodied in the Tax Reform Act of 1976 make it imperative that ALL wills written before it passed be cheeked. The new law cuts down on the number of estutes that will be subject to taxes; by 1981, anyone who dies will be able to leave his or her spouse untaxed as mueh as #175,625. ('.(implicated wills that were designed to get around older, restrictive regulations can plified; you may make changes. It's not expensive to have a will written (DON'T try to do it yourself). It cer­ tainly costs less than having an intestate death ironed out. or fighting a more tax Im* sini- want to bad will. Review your will as family situations change. In some states a will is in­ valid if you married or had children after you made it. Review it if you have more money -- or less -- than when it was written. Reappraise your executor. Is he still alive and well and sharp? If you move to another state, or have property there, review your will. Your will may have to conform to BOTH states'* laws. If you disinherit someone, say so. Specify what should be done if your heir dies before voti, or with you. Put everything in writing - and then destroy old wills. One final note: don't hide your will, and don't put it in your safe deposit vault. Leave copies with your lawyer and your family to avoid delays in case of death. Brought to you as a public service by the First National Bank of McHenry, 3814 W. Elm St.. telephone 385-5400. Whether you are interested in saving money...or borrowing, you'll find FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF McHENRY most accommodating! Yon will also receive fast, personal service...with a smile! IIRST NATIONAL BANK OF McHENRY. 3814 W. Elm St. Telephone 385- 5400. from HISTORY'S SCRAPBOOK DATES ANO EVENTS FROM YESTERYEARS February 11,1847 -- Thomas Alva Edison is born at Milan* Ohio. At the time of his death -- 84 years later -- it was estimated that his 1,097 inventions gave his brain the highest cash value in history. February 12, 1912 -- China becomes a republic as the Manchu dynasty is overthrown by Chinese nationalists led by Dr. Sun Yat- sen. February 13, 1635 -- The Boston Latin School, the oldest public school in America, is established in Boston, Massachusetts. February 14, 1859 -- Oregon, the 33rd state, is admitted into the Union. February 15, 1879 -- President Rutherford B. Hayes signs into law a bill admitting women to practice law before the U.S. Supreme Court. . February 16, 1959 -- Fidel Castro, leader of the Cuban revolution, is sworn in as that country's premier. February 17, 1817 -- For the first time in American history, a city street (in Baltimore) is illuminated by gas lights. Spring Grove Eva Freund Petitions For Annexation To Be Reviewed Spring Hill subdivision located at Meyer road west of Spring Grove road, south in Richmond township made a formal presentation Feb. 1, for petition to annex to Spring Grove. On March 1, the next village board meeting, a hearing will be before the planning and zoning board. A decision will be given then. 675-2135 Oak Valley Hill subdivision on Winn road was annexed Feb. 1. The donation of a property site was accepted by the Spring Grove school board for a future school. Winn Estates also will petition for annexation to Spring Grove and have a hearing with the planning and zoning board. BIRTH Mr. and Mrs. Rick Knowlton are the happy parents of a baby girl weighing 6 lbs., 81/ oz., born Feb. 7. The little miss has been named Jennifer Ann. Know{?" ,. V" r • s T H t Wfcatfier rwnu £ ' i ' PAGE 15 • PLAINDEALER-WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1977 huge mass of water sur­ rounding them, and the ty­ pography of the land itself.. The ocean area provides a constant temperature,- since it does not give up its heat as. readily as a land mass. The latitude (about that of Cuba) prom­ ises warmth. The breezes from the sea in daytime, a n d d o w n t h e m o u n t a i n , slopes at night insure com­ fortable temperatures,rather than excessive heat. Thus the combination of low mountains (these con­ ditions pertain to Oahu par­ ticularly and to most of the other islands generally), ocean mass, latitude, pre­ vailing winds and other fac­ tors contribute to the amaz­ ing constancy of Hawaii's good weather. Why is the weather of the Hawaiian Islands practi­ cally ideal' ' The much-famed climate of the Pacific vacation is­ lands is caused by their location (latitude) and the Proud maternal grand­ parents are Mr. and Mrs. Robert Sutton and paternal grandparents, Mr. and Mrs. Donald Knowlton. Little Jen­ nifer has four great- grandparents to shower her with love, Mrs. Agnes May,. Mrs. Cora Sutton, Mrs. Ida Knowlton and Stanley Beall. r Fashion r : ; »•* rr • r* rwi • lerrific lami New Spring Put-togethers Separates Start your Spring Fling CAREFREE FASHION NEED LITTLE OR NO IRONING Nothing like tops and pants to start your spring wardrobe off to a fun look. Blouses are from Sweet Baby Jane In cool polyester and cotton blend. Get into the sailboat scene in a white multi-stripe, S-M-L, 16.00. Flowers and stripes in blue and white tailored nicely into a long slMve shirt, S-M-L, 14,00 Wear them with pants by Time and Place in machine washable and dryable polyester, spring colors, 5-13.16,00. MISS ELGIN SHOP, THIRD FLOOR ELGIN MISS CRYSTAL LAKE, CRYSTAL LAKE MACHINE WASHABLE AND DRYABLE ANDWONDERFULLY PACKABLE Tami styles for your leisure life in fabrics that look great and need little care. Hooded acrylic sweater in multi white, orange, gold and green with long loose sleeves, S-M-L, 20.00. Zip front pant with back elastic for great fit. Non-static polyester, 10-18, 22.00. Boat neck blue and white striped acrylic sweater, S-M-L,- 18.00. Navy polyester pant with zip front and elastic back. Anti-static finish, 10 18, 22.00 BETTER SPORTSWEAR, THIRD FLOOR ELGIN ANDCRYSTAL LAKE *7̂ ELGIN FREE PARKING SHOP MONDAY THRU FRIDAY 10-9, SATURDAY 10-5:30, SUNDAY 12-5 CRYSTAL LAKE FREE PARKING JANE PAGE, PERSONAL SHOPPER Ticket validates tirst 2 hours, upper deck Elgin Plaza Parking Direct entry into Spiess thru enclosed ramp. • Convenient free parking tor 2300 cars at Crystal Point Mall • For Elgin store, call her at 741-4300. For McHenry County store, call her at Crystal Lake, 455-3600