Illinois News Index

McHenry Plaindealer (McHenry, IL), 26 Mar 1980, p. 15

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ROBERT MUSIKANTOW. Ph.D. psychologist for tht Family Servko and Community Mental Health Contor for McHenry County £ (Editor's Note: This is the fifth article in the Today's Psychology weekly series of especially written articles for McHenry county readers. The topic this week is How to Make Yourself Miserable.) M a k i n g y o u r s e I f miserable and depressed takes a lot of work and energy. For many of us it is a full time job and many of us devote our energies in a full scale effort to become misery experts. Today, I would like to discuss some guidelines for those of you who would like to become real pros in this area. If you religiously follow the guidelines set forth in this article, you can be assured that success at being miserable will be yours. I know that you are all eager so let's begin: 1. Believe that you must have the approval of everyone in your life for everything that you do. - Remember, if someone disapproves of something you do this means that you are a completely worthless person and completely unloveable. Spend at least one hour each day worrying about what people might think of you. Work hard at imagining how much other people really cannot stand you. Above all, never do anything if there is one person in the world who might disapprove of you doing it, no matter how much you want to do it. 2. Believe that you must be perfect. - The important thing here is to set ridiculously high ideals and standards for yourself and criticize yourself if you cannot live up to them. Try things like telling yourself that you must never make a mistake or you should never get angry. If this doesn't work to make you miserable, try another approach. Stand in front of a mirror and imagine the most beautiful or handsome person you can think of and get a clear image of what this person looks like. Then, compare yourself with this image and begin to criticize your body. Focus on all your deficiencies being sure not to miss a single one. Be sure to remember, for best results, that not only is your body ugly but that you are a worthless person for having such an ugly body. If you are still not feeling miserable there is still some hope. Try telling yourself that you are a failure for not being able to make yourself miserable. After all, other people can do it why not you? 3. Insist that the world and other people should, must or have to conform to your wishes and desires. - The strategy here is similar to the one discussed in the second guideline. The dif­ ference here is that you get to blame the world and other people instead of yourself for your misery . All you need to do is to apply some high idieals and perfectionistic models to the world and insist that everyone and everything must conform to these models or you will be terribly unhappy. Be sure to remember that there is only one right way to do things and that way is your way. Anyone who doesn't do things your way must be either stupid, crazy or a no- good evil person. Never forget even for one moment that the universe was designed just to meet your needs and so when things do not go your way, be completely outraged. Make the following your philosophy: I vow to do my best to force the world and people in it to conform to my every wish no matter what the cost. If, by chance there is something I cannot change, I will become terribly upset and refuse to accept it. I will insist that life is unfair and have a temper tantrum. Next week's article will be "Modifying Behavior". in jom:i»h < ooi> staff psychologist .news from the Family Service and Mental Health Clinic ot McHenry County. In many ways the middle child is in the most ad­ vantageous position in the family. The first child had the experience of growing up with the total, individual attention of parents and relatives until suddenly there was a new baby to take over the limelight. The second child, of course, never has to make the transition from being an only child to being only another child in the family. Although the second child may have to make an ad­ justment if mnthpr and father decide to have a third child, the adjustment is not as difficult as it was for the first child. Parents are usually very nervous and unsure of themselves at the time they have their first child. They are apt to be overly con­ cerned about minor illnesses and bumps. By the time the second child arrives, mother and father move from amateur status to professional parents. Parents generally feel much more comfortable and relaxed with the second child. Consequently, the second Child is usually less demanding and more in­ dependent at an earlier age. The second child quickly learns to share-both af­ fection and toys--because the older ch'ld teaches the second child that he or she is going to get clobbered if he- she doesn't share. The second child generally l e a r n s t o b e m o r e i n ­ dependent simply because mother and father have to divide their attention bet­ ween the two children. If parents have a third child, the middle child may experience some jealousy, but, since he has already learned to share from the older brother or sister, he is usually more willing to share with the new baby. Of course, we are speaking in generalities, but the second child tends to be more independent, less affectionate, more willing to share, more social, more self IV.A. NEWSI Editor's note: Following are representative questions answered daily by VA counselors. Full information is available at any VA office. Q - I am paid death pension benefits by the Veterans Administration as the helpless child of a Civil War veteran. May I also receive aid and attendance benefits? A ~ You can not receive aid and attendance benefits. There are no provisions for payment of additional benefits to a helpless child receiving death pension. Q. - I am a Vietnam Er^ veterans with 120 days ac­ tive duty. I applied for a VA guaranteed home loan two years ago but was denied because of a lack of qualifying service. I heard that the law has changed. Am I now eligible for the loan guaranty? A -- You may now be eligible. The Veterans Housing Benefits Act of 1978 requires only 90 days of active duty for home loan entitlement for Vietnam Era veterans. Service must have been performed between Aug. 5, 1964 through May 7, 1975. Q - If a veteran who is receiving 100 percent compensation disappears, will the Veterans Ad­ ministration pay his 100 percent compensation benefits to his wife and children? A - No. Compensation benefits cannot be paid. The family would, however, be eligible to receive an amount not in excess of death pen­ sion benefits that would be payable if the veteran was dead. Contact your nearest VA office for details. Q -- If a serviceperson is totally disabled at time of discharge or release from military service, what kind of coverage is he entitled to under the Servicemen's Group Life Insurance (SGLI)? A - SGLI coverage will continue for one year or until t h e s e r v i c e p e r s o n ' s disability ceases to be total in degree, whichever occurs first. The insured may apply for Veterans' Group Life Insurance at any time during the one-year period SGLI is in effect. assured, and less deman­ ding. As there are so many variables in a child's development, these ten­ dencies are not hard and fast rules, but are only generalities. Why your electric company is plugging coal and uranium. There are really only two fuels. The scarce ones and the abundant ones. The more dependent we are on the scarce fuels to make electricity, the less certain we can be that there will always be enough electricity And the more costly that electricity becomes. So at Commonwealth Edison, we make almost hall of our electricity from coal and most of the rest from uranium. Both are abundant fuels. By using them, we're helping to conserve America's oil and natural gas resources for transportation and other vital energy needs. And we're lessening our reliance on imported fuels. Last year coal and uranium let us save about 100 million barrels of oil costing over $2 billion. Think of electricity as the Conservation Energy. The next time you plug something in, remember: You're using the energy that helps save Q - I plan to submit new and material evidence related to my service con­ nected condition for con­ sideration by a regional office rating board. I have already filed notice of ap­ peal. Must I first withdraw the appeal before I submit the new evidence? A - No. New and material evidence may be submitted for consideration by the regional office rating board at any time prior to cer­ tification of the appeal and transfer of the claims file to the Board of Veterans Ap­ peals. Q - Does a widow or widower permanently lose entitlement to VA benefits if he or she remarries? A -- No. A widow or widower may reclaim eligibility for Veterans Administration benefits if the remarriage is ter­ minated by death, divorce or annulment. Q - My husband died Sept. 8,1978.1 would like to install a marker of my own instead of one supplied by VA. I have been told there has been a change in the law and that I might receive an allowance to apply to the cost of a stone I purchase. Is this true? A - To be eligible for the marker allowance, burial must have taken place on or after Oct. 18, 1978, the ef­ fective date of the law. The VA will pay up to $50 toward the cost of a marker. Q - I obtained a VA guaranteed home loan in 1973 and sold the home on an assumption contract in 1977. The buyer still owns the home and is paying on the original VA guaranteed mortgage. Can I get another VA guaranteed loan now? A ---- • Possibly. Since 1973 the maximum VA loan guaranty entitlement has been increased to $25,000 from $12,500. Although the entitlement you used in 1973 is still committed on your prior loan, you can use part of your increased en­ titlement to purchase a new home under the VA program if you can locate a lender willing to make a loan with that amount of entitlement. Q - An acquaintance was notified by VA that he is eligible for service-disabled insurance. Can I get it too? A -- Veterans separated from the service on or after April 25,1951, who have been granted a service connected disability of 10 percent or more for which com­ pensation would be payable, are eligible if they are otherwise in good health. Disabled veterans must file for this insurance within one year from the date the VA notifies them of their service connected disability. Q -- My father was an honorably discharged war time veteran. When he died a year ago, we were not aware of his eligibility for burial benefits. Can we still apply for those benefits? A - A claim for burial benefits must be filed within two years following a veterans' permanent burial or cremation. Contact your nearest VA regional office for assistance. Q -- My deceased husband was a veteran,.'and I was in the Army too. Why can't I get a pension as his survivor and also as a veteran in my own right? A - Payment of pension to the same person as a veteran and surviving spouse is prohibited under Public Law 95-588. PAGE 15 - PLAINDEALER - WEDNESDAY. MARCH ». I960 Identify Rocks For Gem-Mineral Group The' Hiawatha Gem and Mineral society will meet Tuesday, April 1, at 7:30 p.m. at the Lake Villa township hall, corner of Grand avenue and Fairfield road, when an enlightening program on rock iden­ tification will be presented by club member,/ Herman ^oehten. Members are also reminded that suggestions for field trips for the coming season will be solicited at the meeting. Anyone interested in the hobby of rock hounding is invited to the meeting. Refreshments will be ser­ ved. Despite higher interest rates, farm loan funds are expected to be generally adequate this year in the U.S. from HISTORY'S SCRAPBOOK DATES AND EVENTS FROM YESTERYEARS Morc^i 27, 1634 -- Leonard and George Calvert, English colo­ nists, buy a 30-acre tract of land on the St. Charles River and estab­ lish the first settlement in what is now Maryland. March 28, 1797 -- Nathaniel Briggs Of New Hampshire receives o patent for a washing machine -- describing his invention as "an im­ provement for washing clothes." March ^9, 1961 -- Citizens of the District of Columbia will henceforth be permitted to vote in Presidential elections, the first time since 1800; as the Twenty-third Amendment to the Constitution goes into effect. March 30, 1858 -- A pencil equipped with an eraser, the first of its kind, is patented by Hyman L. Lipman of Philadelphia. March 31, 1880 -- Residents of Wabash, Indiana, celebrate as their town becomes the first incorporated community to be completely illuminated by electrical power. 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EWEL CATALOG OUTLET STORE • JEWEL CATALOG OUTLET 5T0R INDOOR/OUTDOOR SLIDE Sturdy base, smooth slide on this free standing slide. MCC REG. $17.99 4 Pc. BBQ TOOL SET MCC Reg. $2.39 SALE $1.43 TWO SEAT SANDBOX MCC Reg. $16.79 SALE $10.07 OFF OUR DISCOUNT PRICE FIKJ:

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