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Past 65 ByCarlEiblet, Jr. Question -- "The lady who rents the apartment upstairs is a new widow. She is a gentle lady, quiet and beautifully mannered and loves to help others. But the nursing home where her darling husband of 48 years died won't have any part of her, probably because she is no longer a customer, so to say. "After her husband died, she helped bring happiness to lonely older people in the nursing home. She went there every day with cookies and delicacies, stationery, magazines and things like that. I know of my own knowledge because I often drove her there, that the inhabitants of the nursing home loved her and waited impatiently for her visits as times of cheer and love. But - imagine this -- the management asked her not to come there any more because they said she was a disrupting influence and upset the rules and schedules. "What's the matter with nursing homes?" Kathleen M. Answer -- Some nursing homes are good. Some are managed by heartless people who don't want their opportunities for profit to be disturbed. Perhaps Kathleen's lovely friend wanted to feel the presence of her late husband in the place of his last days. She may have felt that at that nursing home she would still have a link to him and his love, even after his death. If she still wants to cheer and help those who live in similar places she may be able to locate a nursing home that will welcome her good cheer and gentleness. Why doesn't Kathleen assist her in finding such a place? She can visit the Erie County Office For The Aging, in the Rath building in her city and ask them to select a nursing home where her help will be welcome. Question -- "The nursing home in Wisconsin where my mother stays failed to show compassion and competence when my brother died. His wife phoned me in Arizona from their home in Massachusetts with the sad news of his death and asked me to notify my mother. She is 87 and not well and I knew that my brother's death -- he was her second son -- would be a shock. So I phoned the nursing home by long distance and asked the manager to have a nurse go to my mother's room to be with her in 15 minutes when I would phone her. I did phone and when my mother an­ swered, I told her what had happened to my brother. I could hear her gasp and say 'Ohhh'! Then she apparently collapsed. The phone must have slipped from her hand to the floor. Nobody picked it up and I was helpless with worry. After a while I realized that there had been no one with her as requested. I hung up and phoned the manager again and gave him a hard time. He said he couldn't get a nurse to her in time. They had to call a doctor to sedate her. Don't you think that somebody should have been with her?" -- Michael G.H. Answer -- Yes, I do. The manager should have gone himself it no nurse was available. If people could read the letters sent to me that tell "horror stories" of the carelessness and in­ difference in some nursing homes they would be outraged. Question -- "I like the nursing home where I now live. At first, when I gave in to my son and his wife that I had to go to a nursing home, I was ready to give up. I thought I was coming here to die. Then I met a retired auto racer who had lived through a dozen race crashes to wind up his days in this place. He made me understand how lucky we both are. I was once a racehorse trainer who had a life full of excitement and fast money and fast horses. Only some of the horses weren't fast enough. Ha! Ha! I once worked for the owner of that great thoroughbred Secretariat. "I have enough in the sock to pay the bills here every month and I figure I will live a while yet. So now I think of this place as a sort of resort with no horses. I enjoy it here and I like the other SHEER BEAUTY These special blinds are created from a semi-transparent fabric with a bonded layer of aluminum to reflect solar heat and light. vtfehist chopped 20°< off the price of our woods. Our brand-new Del Mar Mini Woods are the real thing, too. Full- function mini blinds meticulously made from choice basswood. And available in your choice of six fashionable finishes. With savings like this, its never been easier to plant the woods in any window Daly 9:30-5:30 Wtd. til Noon Qostd Sunday Shop At Home Call 815-344-1888 Rt. 12 Ma of Rt. 120, Volo people here, too, including my friend the auto racer. I read two books a week. I never knew there could be so much pleasure in books,and I don't mean racetrack books. Ha! Ha! Don't listen to any complaints against nursing homes. They are swell to me here." -- Maxie O'B. Answer - My hat goes off to the auto racer for changing the attitude of Maxie, the racehorse trainer. There are lots of good nursing homes. We find them, however, through careful search and thorough investigation. Question -- "I wrote to you several months ago but didn't get a reply to my problem, either in your column or by mail. My question was whether I should take Social Security at 62 or 65. Why didn't you reply?" -- Scott J. Answer -- Scott's letter contained no self-addressed, stamped envelope for the reply. I can't afford postage and envelopes to reply to all the many letters that come to me without postage, A SASEis absolutely necessary for a reply. Scott's question is easily and quickly an­ swered if he will only telephone the S.S. office in his city. S.S. is glad to help. Question ~ "My mother was getting a Veterans administration check of $130 a month when she was of­ fered a choice of keeping that V.A. plan or taking another plan which would increase her benefits. "She elected to take the plan that increased her check to $217. Then came the clincher. When she got the increase in her V.A. check, her Supplementary Security Income and Medicaid benefits were cut off. It seems she can't have both. But she needs the S.S.I, and Medicaid. Is there some way the V.A. and S.S. can get together and work something out for people like her?" - McKinley R.N. Answer -- Perhaps, but I don't think so. The only way to find out is to ask both V.A. and S.S. Then, if she can get no agreement with them she can telephone the foil free number of the National Organization of Social Security Claimants' Representatives in Pearl River, N.Y. --1-800-431-2804 - - for information on where to get a local lawyer to help. If a lawyer for NOSSCR does take her case, she will not have to pay him herself, win or lose. He will be paid by S.S. if he wins for her1, nothing if he loses. Question -- "A dear friend says she receives a Social Security benefits check every month for over $400. She never worked and is well-heeled. Her check is based on the earnings of her husband who died in 1960. I get only $369.30 a month at age 66. I worked under S.S. from the day it was launched and my yearly earnings were always above the figure credited toward S.S. Do you think this situation is reasonable? I would hate to think my friend was lying." - -- Lucile F. Answer -- I know a man whose check is $365 a month. He has friends who recieve more, but he couldn't care less. He is interested only in what he receives, not in what others receive. He is at * peace with the world, ob­ serving the Uth com­ mandment, which is: "Mind Thy Own Business." Question -- "You wrote of the danger of purse- snatching from elderly women. The problem is easily solved. Just don't take a purse when you go shop­ ping. In an inside pocket you can put all you need -- money, identification and the credit card you may use. The house key can be pinned inside your jacket or coat. Thus, there is nothing to snatch." -- Mrs. L.M.D. Answer -- A good and practical idea. Question -- "I think the term 'senior citizen' is silly and 'golden age' is preposterous, but the idea stated in your column that I am diminished in my own eyes by those or any labels is ridiculous. I don't think that either label implies a dam thing about less-than-first class citizenship. I do not value myself by labels that others may use. I would have to believe myself worthy of being put down in order to feel put down. So I will cheerfully continue to say I'm a senior at any place where it will save me money. Diminish! Shminish! What's in a label?" -- Alison M.C. Answer -- If the world wants to label us, let 'em, so long as we can still pull up to the dining room table. Question -- "An elderly friend who has no family wants to leave her property and mobile home to a church in return for care and a place to live the remainder of her life. She is 80. Her health is declining. Do you know of a Christian organization or church that does this kind of thing in the southern California area?" -- Mrs. John H. Answer -- Mrs. John would do best to take her elderly friend to the County Office on Aging, 3601 University avenue in the county seat, phone 787-6557, where she can get advice. She should be extremely careful. Many elders have lived to suffer and regret the act of giving up their property for what did not turn out to be adequate, and lifetime, care. If Mrs. John's friend decides to swap property for care, she should consult a respected attorney for expert legal assistance in making final arrangements. Again, be careful! Question -- "Doctors hang a sign on their door that says 'Waiting Room'. How true! The waiting room is where I wait and wait, and wait. When my 2 p.m. ap­ pointment finds me alone and shirtless down the corridor at 3 p.m. waiting in a satellite consultation room PAGE 9 - PLAINPEALER - FRIDAY. SEPTEMBER It, ltM with no doctor in sight, I scream to myself, 'How much longer do I hafta wait?' "I am looking for trouble with anybody who shows up. especially the doctor, who I am determined to tell off. When he at last sticks his head in the door with the greeting. 'Hi! How's our belly?' my toes curl. I splutter that it is my stomach, not a community- owned stomach that hurts. He smothers my protest with the medical command, 'off with your pants and up on the table'. "My rage mounts. My teeth grind, But 1 close my, mouth and get up on the table. Why don't I tell the doctor off, as I had promised myself?" --- Stephen McB. Answer -- Nobody tells off* his doctor. Write to Carl Kiblet Jr at Box 40757, Tucson, Ariz , 85717 for information and advice on questions you may have as an elder citizen, with self-addressed, stamped envelope. All questions will be answered. No identities will be revealed. Editor's Quote Book In the affairs of this world, men are saved, not by faith, but by the want of it. Benjamin Franklin WHO KNOWS? 1. What is Rosh Hasha- nah? 2. When does it begin? 3. Who was the first pres­ ident born a citizen of the U.S.? 4. How many miracles did Jesus perform during his public ministry? 5. For what are battle­ ships and cruisers named? 6. Which state is known as "The Beaver State"? 7. Name its capital. 8. Do dragonflies sting? 9. Is the orange a vege­ table. fruit, or a berry? 10.Name the 22nd Presi­ dent of the U.S. Answers To Who Knows 1. Jewish New Year. 2. September 11. .1. Martin Van Buren, Democrat, born in New York on December 8. 1782, was the 8th Presi­ dent of the U.S. 4. According to the Gos­ pels, 36. 5. Battleships for states and cruisers for cities. 6. Oregon. 7. Salem. 8. No, they are perfectly harmless. 9. 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