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PAGEC - PLAINDEAI^R - WEDNESDAY, JUNE IS. 1981 Look Out Mike! Mike Molina of the Pirates found out that batting can sometimes be a perilous experience. In the first photo, Mike, bubblegum at the ready, awaits the pitch from the Astro Hurler. He ducks away from an inside delivery (second photo), then glances at the umpire to make sure the ump made the right call. Mike's team suffered a 9-1 defeat in Saturday's mini division game. STAFF PHOTO - WAYNE GAYLORD Plaindealer The Lighter Side Of Golf Mark Twain once described golf as "A good walk, wasted." I've often felt the same way. Golf can be a frustrating and very humbling game, but it is one of the most challenging of all sports There is one good thing 1 can say about golf. The game has produced some of the funniest jokes I have heard And being the type of person who loves to share a good jote^J'd like to pass Doherty's Alone In First The first game Wednesday in the Western division featured the last two unbeaten ball clubs in McHenry 12-inch men's softball. Doherty's and the Johns burg Businessmen were to go at it with the winner to lay undisputed claim to first place after four weeks of play. Mike Rogers grounded to the pitcher to lead off for Doherty's in the first. But a routine out turned into a play in which Johnsburg first baseman Scott Letzter had his ankle stepped on when the pitcher lost control on his throw to first ana Letzter had a to pick up the ball on a bad hop. The play seemed to set the pace for Johnsburg even though they ended the inning with a lineout double play and even though John Meyers scored a run for the Businessmen on Jim Meyers' sacrifice fly. lliat one-run lead did not hold for long as Doherty's scored twice in the second and then seven times in the third to take a commanding lead. Three Johnsburg infield errors, did not help and Doherty's added eight base hits to their cause. It was too late when Johnsburg finally put together a five- run rally in the last inning. Doherty's had a 13-4 lead going into the final half frame and emerged.3-9 winners. John DeCiccio helped the winners with two hits and three RBIs. Irish DeCiccio had a pair of RBIs with three runs scored. Matt Oik, Jim Wayman and Ratidy Vank added two hits each with Wayman driving in apair of runs. John Meyers led the Businessmen's 15^nit attack with three hits. Tim FYantz drove in two runs with a pair of singles while Jim Meyers knocked in three runs. Wayne Hiller, Tom Spasojevich and Harry May all had two hits. May included his 'annual' inside-the-park home run in having a perfect day at the plate. Defensively Doherty's turned two infield double plays which really hurt the Businessmen. Johns burg's John Meyer added a brilliant backhand stop of Vank's grounder and threw out Wayman at second for the force out. Doherty's 0 2 7 2 0 1 1 13 Johnsburg Businessmen 101 020 5 9 Kevin Bauer, the Rusty Nail's skipper, felt is was going to be a struggle when his team met Jewel Park of Barrington. After all, Jewel Park's only victory last season was at the expense of the Nail. In the first inning the Nail committed two infield errors (one a throwing error) and coupled with a base on balls gave Jewel Park the lead. Although the Rusty Nail batted around in its half of the first to take the lead for good it turned out to be just the kind of game Bauer had forecast - a real struggle. Rusty Nail Inn eventually won the first confrontation with Jewel Park by a 12-8 score. But they needed a pair of two-run innings in their last two times at bat to put some distance in a 8-7 lead. Ray Thelen and Bill Rudolph had three hits each for Rusty Nail. Thelen included a triple and three runs scored while Rudolph scored twice and drove in two runs. Kevin Freund hit his second home run of the season along with a double and sacrifice fly good for three RBIs. A1 Stilling added a pair of RBIs. Leon Palatas led Jewel Park with a two-run triple plus an RBI single. Bob Foster went two for two with a base on balls and two runs scored. Neal Nessett added two hits. However only three more hits were tallied by the rest of the Jewel Park hitters as they were outhit 15*9. Jewel Park 1114010 8 Rusty Nail Inn 521022x 12 Hainesville Inn won its first game of the 1961 season as they handed Huemann's Water Conditioning a 13-8 defeat The winners outhit their opponents 17-14 and included a six-run third inning in which everyone batted. Three Huemann infield errors during that six-run Hainesville third opened the flood gates and really hurt Huemann's. Both teams are now tied for fourth with identical 1-3 records. Don Prorock went four for four with three doubles and three RBIs to help Hainesville. Henry Hunsinger added three base hits. Mike Finney, Pat Zweilling and Mike Ingleby all had two hits each. Finney included a triple while Ingleby drove in two runs. Mike Wines went three for three for Huemann's including three RBIs on a double and an inside-the-park home run. Tom Blenner added two hits and three RBIs. Frank Cuda, Guy Weber and Joe Huemann all had two hits each. Hainesville Inn 0062032 13 Huemann's 0 2 0 5 0 1 0 8 WESTERN DIVISION Doherty's Johnsburg Businessmen Rusty Nail Inn Hainesville Inn Huemann's Jewel Park TOP TEN • EASTERN (as of June3) Don Bentz Gary Gilpin Kevin Horner Ron Miller Twig Miller Wayne Roewer JoeDehn Chuck Marke Don Prazak Ken Ludwig V 12 14 13 13 16 18 12 11 13 Tom Spasojevich Scott Letzter Rick Wakitsch John DeCiccio John Meyers Pat Zwilling Ray Thelen Tim Frantz Jim Wayman Mike Rogers TOP TEN - WESTERN (as of June3) 13 13 13 16 11 11 16 15 10 17 11 9 10 9 9 11 12 8 7 8 10 9 9 11 7 7 10 9 6 10 Q AO .ow .750 .714 .692 .667 .667 .636 .615 .769 .688 .636 .636 .625 .600 .600 .588 along these knee-slappers. For instance, there is the story of the fellow who led a very structured life - he had a daily routine and never strayed from it. This routine included a weekly golf outing with three of his favorite cronies They would tee off at the same time each Saturday After playing 18 holes, they would have a few beers and return home at exactly 5:30 in the afternoon. The man's wife was so accustomed to her husband's regimen that dinner would be on the table accordingly. Rut one Saturday. 5:30 rolled around and her husband had not returned. The seconds turned to minutes and the minutes into hours before a very weary duffer trudged in the door at 7:45 "Where have you been." the wife snapped "1 can explain everything." he said plop­ ping into a chair "'A terrible thing happened today We were one the third tee when poor old Harry had a heart attack." "Oh my goodness." said the wife. "It must have been terrible." "You're dam right it was terrible." said the man. "From then on it was 'Hit the ball and drag Harry, hit the ball and drag Harry, hit the ball and drag Harry." Tragedy seems to be the "<n" thing when it comes to golf stories Such as the woeful tale of the man who took his wife golfing one Scorecard By Jeff Stern lovely afternoon. The man pushed his drive into an out-of-bounds area directly behind a large barn. He was ready to toss the ball hack onto the fairway, but his wife had a suggestion "Instead of getting a penalty, why don't you try to hit an iron shot over the barn." said the wife. The man said he had a better idea "Open the doors on both sides of the barn and I'll play through." he said The woman did as he suggested and the man addressed the ball He hit the ball well, but it struck a beam in the ceiling of the barn, rebounded, struck his wife in the head and killed her A year later, the same golfer faced the same shot while playing with a friend He was ready to take the penalty when his buddy suggesied he try to shoot through the barn "The last time I tried that, something awful happened," said the man sadly "I took a 14 on the hole." Anyone who says priests don't have a sense of humor should have attended a banquet I covered a few years ago. It was a parochial school and the golf coach was one of the parish priests He told this tale of a young, go-getter type of priest and the bishop he wanted to impress. The youthful clergyman spent a great deal of time in the sand traps that day. but played every shot as if it were the final round of the Master's tournament. This slowed down the game, of course, and golfers playing behind the tandem wanted to -play through "Why don't you just pretend you made the shot. Father." said the bishop "It doesn't matter to me " "I can't do that. sir. I want to play just like Arnold Palmer." the young man replied. This went on for several holes, the priest played erratically but refused to bend the rules despite the bishop's pleas "I want to play just like Arnold Palmer." he repeated Finally, on the 18th hole, the priest hit the ball into the water "That's all right Father. Just call it a par." said the bishop "I can't do that, sir. I want to play just like Arnold Palmer." he said again. With that, the young man walked on the surface of the water and retrieved the ball. Suddenly, a voice from the skies boomed, "Bishop, who does he think he is, Me?" The bishop replied. "No sir. he thinks he's Arnold Palmer " And finally there is this story, in which a hacker finds his ball nestled in a field of buttercups. He was just about to slash the ball - and plenty of flowers when suddenly he heard a "poof" and Mother Nature appeared. She begged him not to damage the flowers, ex­ plaining that a good deal of work went into them. "Yeah, well it wasn't a good idea to put em next to a golf course," the angry man said while brandishing his seven iron "Say goodby to your flowers, lady " Mother Nature stopped him and pleaded again. "If you promise not to damage my flowers. I'll give you all the butter you want for the rest of your life." "Oh great." the fellow said "Where were you last week, when I hit the ball into the goldenrod?" You may or may not find these jokes to be humorous. But I can guarantee one good golf-related joke. Just join my group when I hit the old course My game is a laugh a minute experience Three Unbeaten'In 16-Inch SALE SALE STARTS: JUNE 12 thru JUNE 21 "WATCH FOR OUR AD IN FRIDAYS PLAINDEALER FOR DETAILS! WE HAVE ADIDAS ft NIKE SHOES IN STOCK I McHenryfe • Favorite srortt^ente 1210 N. GREEN ST. WK^TMcHENRY. IL //aw 96. 385-1000 MBS PatWirtz Fox Hole Tap and J and L continued to share the lead in McHenry men's 16-inch Softball play last week. Fox Hole nipped Old Bridge 11-9 while J and L outslugged Palace Bowl 21-14. Ron Miller had four hits - three of them doubles - and Bill Hurkes and Vinnie Freund drove in three runs each as Fox Hole edged Old Bridge. Six players had two hits each as Fox Hole rapped out 18 hits. Old Bridge grabbed a 4-1 lead after one inning on singles by Doug Freund, Jim Zasada and Joe Dehn and a double by Gary Gilpin. They led 7-3 after two innings, but Fox Hole rallied for a run in the third, three in the fourth and two in the fifth to post the win. Freund led the Bridge with The Spirit of the Country It's helping when help's needed. It's going out of your way. It's doing a little something extra. That's the spirit you live by. And it's the spirit we do business by as Country Companies agents. Insurance for your life, health, home, auto, farm and business. McHENRY, ILLINOIS WOODSTOCK, ILLINOIS Your Country Companies Agents; Pi. 479-4491 ICOUNTRY COM WII18 Insurance and Investment Services three hits while Dehn drove in three runs on the night. J and L batted around in the second and fifth innings and went on to its third straight victory, a win over Palace Bowl. Mark Bentz drove in four runs with a single, double and triple for the winners. Gary Bell. Ron Ackerbrandt, Dave Zates and Bob Rouden all drove in three runs apiece for J and L. J and L jumped off to an 11-0 lead after two frames and was never challenged. They scored in all but one inning and pounded out 23 hits en route to the win. Tony Aiello, Tom Cosky and Mark Mare all had two hits each for Palace Bowl. Kip Novotny had three RBIs for Palace. Darrell Torgeson had three hits and drove in four runs as Murphy's Pub b l a s t e d R e s i d e n t i a l Development Group 18-2. Bill Lilly and Tom Carry also had four RBIs for the winners. Murphy's sent 12 men to the plate in an eight-run third inning to highlight the victory. Back to back doubles by Tom Carry and Roy Grimes fueled the salvo. RDG was held to just six hits and no player had more than one hit. Bob Wakitsch singled with the bases loaded in the eighth inning to propel St. Regis Pub over Nancy's Tavern 7-6. St. Regis loaded the bases with one out in the eighth on an error and singles by Scott Letzter and Tom Knox. Wakitsch followed with his game- winning blow. Knox had three hits to lead the St. Regis attack. The winners had 16 hits in the victory. Wayne Hiller had three hits including a pair of doubles for Nancy's. Jim Monahan reached on an error with one out in the seventh frame, allowing Something Good to tip Hautzinger's by a 12-11 count Doug Mehner and Jerry Smith singled ahead of Monahan. John's Sport Stop scored in every inning and all but one player had at least one hit in a 19-4 romp over 3-D Bowl. Mark Maylof led the salvo with four hits for John's. Rich Thompson, Rick Heroliska. Rick Wakitsch and Bob Johnson had three hits each. Fox Hole J and L . Sport Stop St. Regis Murphy's Pub 3-D Bowl Nancy's Tavern Old Bridge Something Good Hautzinger's Palace Bowl RDG w I 3 0 3 0 2 0 2 1 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 1 2 0 2 0 3 0 3 5^ GOLF SHOES 15% MP JOHN'S SPORT STOP A c r o s s f r o m A & P N e x t t o E b y B r o w n McH»nry Doily 9:30 8 Sof 9 5 344-3580 OUR SPECIALTY SAY "IAITY FA1HPS I A Y M A S M T O v