% f Christmas brings on the blues for some SECTION 2 • PAGE 1 • PLAINDEALER - WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 14, 1983 By Cltff Ward Shaw Free Press Media For some people, depression is as much a part of the holiday season as trimming the tree and wrapping presents. Fueled by unreal expectations of a "perfect" Christmas, a letdown is only natural, ac cording to Cathy Bolger, a counselor at McHenry County College. Ms. Bolger focused on dealing with those feelings at a seminar, "Coping with the Holiday Blues," held Monday night at MCC. "You're not alone in feeling that the holidays are not what they're cracked up to be," she told a small group at the school. The holidays, she said, are not the cause of problems, but they bring problems into focus. Three women at the seminar said they did not like all the added holiday pressure that goes in the form of respon sibility for cooking huge meals and ensuring that everyone has a good time. Ms. Bolger said that feeling is an unreal expectation - that it has to be "instant Waltons" whenever the family gets together. Those expectations cause stress, she said, and stress can be avoided and dealt with. "Don't put yourself in situations you know are going to be stressful," she advised, although she admitted it can be difficult to stay away from holiday depression when holiday happenings are going on all around. Another factor is physical - preparing your body to deal with stress. One woman said she found it no coincidence that many people, herself included, catch the flu after the holidays. She chalked it up to exhaustion. One does not have to become a perfect physical specimen overnight, but exercise and proper diet are beneficial in dealing with stress, Ms. Bolger said. She suggested eating breakfast, good diet, moderate alcohol consumption and simple exercise, such as walking. "By doing these things, you prepare your body for stress," she noted. However, the major factor in dealing with holiday depression is altering unreal expectations - expectations that if everything is not "Christmas card perfect," someone is at fault, which leads to depression. She drew on the theories of New York psychologist Albert Ellis, who says "we upset ourselves by our unrealistic expectations." According to Ellis, people demand things be as we want them and if they are not, it is cause for great upset, Bolger said. "That fits me to a 4T'," one, woman commented. Ms. Bolger said people prone to holiday depression must challenge their beliefs and must ask themselves why they and everything have to be perfect. "If you can trace what you're tellinff vourself to one thing, then you can dispute it," she said. She advised employing a "self-talk," a method of disputing unrejl expectations. However, she said it is not easy, and a person must be on„ the lookout at all times for the unreal expectations. To help people prone to ty depression, Ms. Bolger led out a self-contract for a srrier Christmas, in which the person takes personal responsibility to enhance his holiday season, and by taking eoncrete steps, achieves his goal - a white, not a "blue" Christmas. general \ • fmi\ News t- Cancel health svstem December meet The Health Systems Agency for Kane, Lake and McHenry Counties (HSA-KLM) pgr an nouncing the cancellation of its board of directors meeting that was to be held Dec. 15. The next meeting of the HSA- KLM board of directors will be held Thursday,Jan. 26. Included on the agenda will be the review and consideration of Condell Memorial Hospital's expansion of surgery at a cost of $3,344,695 and also final approval of HSA- KLM's 1984-85 Annual Im plementation Plan. Information on other agenda items can be obtained by calling the office prior to the meeting. All HSA-KLM's meetings are open to the public. 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