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Corporation head considers illegal deal ill Ward I had an old friend of mine call me up the other day. We've been pals since we were kids and he now runs his own business. • • • Actually, things had not been going too well for mm lately. The idea he thought would make him a million had. not been Dannine out. In the beginning, things started out well for him. He had a job with one of the biggest trash compacting companies in the world and everyone predicted great things for him. Handsome and dashing, he sensed America's trash mood and cashed in with striking results. Bold, innovative devices for smooshing up cantaloupe rinds and coffee grounds and neatly packaging it. He seemed to have no end to his good fortune and his future seemed secure. Emboldened by his early successes, he broke away from the corporate structure and decided to build his dream trash smasher-the machine that would combine safety with formidable performance features. The Pocket Trash Compacter-the ultimate in personal waste disposal. After receiving big grants from a foreign country to start his plant there, he began to build an empire on a foundation of egg shells, yesterday's newspaper and empty cans of Minute Maid orange juice. But things had gone bad right from the start. The trash smasher market hit a lull, the critics hated the new machine and labor problems sprang up. Desperate for money to keep his dream afloat, he turned to friends, banks, anyone to get money. I personally had loaned him almost $12. I thought he would be asking for more when he called last week. "Hey, I think I'll be able to pay you back that eleven bucks pretty soon," he said almost gleefully. "That's twelve," I reminded him. "Besides, since when do you have any money? Did some rich relative die?" No, he said, it was something better. "Drugs." "Excuse me," I said, not sure I'd heard him. "Drugs? You're giving up garbage to become a pharmacist?" Not exactly, he said. "I'm going to bankroll a cocaine deal. Isn't that great?". No, it is not great, I said. Drugs are illegal and they can destroy lives, I told him. "I'm not selling any of the coke. I'm just putting up the money behind the deal," he said. "I met these really swell guys who want to swing the whole deal and all I gotta do is put up the money." How much money, I asked. "Just five million," he said. "I gotta do it. The pocket trash compacter means more to me than life itself." Never argue ethics with big businessmen. They don't have any. I decided to convince him with the bottom line. Businessmen understand the bottom line. Usually that is all they understand. I began: "Think about the ramifications here. You're making a deal with drug dealers. They could stuff you in one of those little trash compacters and you could end up as part of a Newark housing project foundation. What if they aren't even real drug dealers? What if they're wildly entrapping federal drug enforcement agents? They can be even more dangerous, you know." "What," he said, "drug dealers more dangerous than the head of a major corporation? Don't make me laugh." Ah, but what about federal agents, I said. They could have videotapes of the whole transaction and hang your trash- bags out to dry in court. "Nah, no way they'd find me guilty. Not the Boy Wonder of Refuse. C'mon Cliff, nobody that's rich and good looking ever gets convicted of a crime in America. You know that." That's true, I said. But wouldn't a trial slur your good name. Wouldn't you be ruined? "Well, I'll hit all the talk shows and write a book, so even if I'm caught and found not guilty, I'll still make millions," he said. "That's what makes America great. Where else could the head of a major company do such things and profit from it?" Realizing I wasn't getting anywhere with him, I put the telephone down as I heard his tiny, disembodied voice wailing "Oh beautiful, for spacious skies...." 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