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Parental action can protect your child from molestation SECTION 3- PAGE 9 - PLAINDEALER HERALD, WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 3.1984 / "There are actions we parents, and other concerned adults, can take to help protect our children from the threat of molestation," said Elizabeth Severns in a recent workshop conducted for McHenry County College's Department of Community Services. Severns has a master's degree in community health education and has spent four years studying the problem of molestation and abuse of children. She suggests that we can take steps to educate our children, teach the self- protection skills and help them to develop a sense of their own power and rights. "An informed child is less psychologically vulnerable, " adds Severns, "We can't protect our children from everything, but we can make them safer." She describes child molesters as generally passive people, 90 percent of whom know the child. They have little self-esteem and turn to children to satisfy their needs because they cannot deal with adults. She reports that they are usually not looking for a fight and may back down if the child reacts strongly. She says, "Actual physical damage is rare, the damage done is psychological." "You realize you need to broach this subject to your child, how do you go about teaching prevention skills to your child? It is a good idea to incorporate such information into your general safety program, putting it into a context they are familiar with, like what to do in case of fire. It is suggested that you set a familiar scene and proceed at a pace comfortable for you and your child. Age four or five is the general consensus as to when children can begin to understand information on abuse and molestation. Severns suggests you talk about sexual abuse within a context of "good" and "bad" touching. Be specific about what sexual abuse and molestation is and what parts of the body you are talking about. Children are rggorted to be amazingly accurate in deter­ mining when a situation is not right. Specifically, how can you tell your children to protect themselves? Tell them to say a vehement no to any touch that they feel is wrong and to tell an adult, right away if an incident occurs, and to continue telling people until someone believes them and helps them. If they are inside, tell them to leave the room or house. If they are outside, they should run away frofri the person who is bothering them. When talking to strangers they should stay an arm's length away from them. Have them practice a strong, angry yell, like "fire" or "help", and practice running away. The physical practice helps them feel powerful, more in control of their own fate, and also aids in ensuring that they won't freeze and be unable to act should an actual incident occur. The ^average age of the molestation victim is 10-12 years. A child that age is old enough to learn basic safety rules about being alone at home. Another suggestion offered by Severns is that together you and your child make up a resource card for the child, to be kept by the telephone. On it list the names, addresses and phone numbers of people they can go to for help. Examples of common methods strangers use in ap­ proaching children are to ask the child for help in looking for a lost pupy or other pet in the woods, asking the child for help in carrying something to their car, or trying to get the child to go with them by flashing a phony badge resembling a police badge. Tell your child that if a stranger needs help, an adult should help them, not a child. Don't go to a stranger's car for any reason. If they flash a badge, tell them to get an adult to take a look at it before they go anywhere with the person. If a stranger must substitute for a parent and pick up your child, set up a code word between you and make sure the person you have asked to pick up your child knows and uses it. In what other ways can the parent help to prevent abuse? Monitor the relationships your child has with older children and adults. Trust -- -- rf your own instincts. Take action C n \ whenever you see inappropriate ^' ' touch happening or your child being exploited or taken ad­ vantage of. Support your child when he or she says no. Severns says, "It's good to back up a small child when they say no. We violate their privacy too often. Don't push them to do something they don't want to do." A good example is that little children are often expected to kiss everyone in the room good-by, whether they want to or not. Help your child to develop his or her intuition and learn to trust those feelings. Maintain open lines of communication with your child about sexual behavior, sexual abuse and safety questions. Encourage them to talk to you. You are their primary source of protection and help. If, despite your efforts, an incident should occur, it is vital that you tell the child that such abuse is an adult problem and not their fault, that you will take care of it. It is important to make them feel good about themselves again, to restore their self-image. It is okay to get angry, they need you to do that. Encourage them to talk with you and try to get back to normal routines as soon as possible. Severns suggests you seek outside help if the child continues to be troubled by the incident and cannot seem to get back to normal in a reasonable amount of time. FITNESS * ' Oct. 3 has been proclaimed as Illinois Employee Fitness Day by Governor James R. Thomp­ son to call attention to the relationship between good health and employee produc­ tivity. Illinois businesses are encouraged to plan fitness ac­ tivities for the day. Last year, more than 40,000 public and private sector employees took part in the program, sponsored by the Governor's Council on Health and Physical Fitness, the Allstate Insurance Company and the Department of Com­ merce and Community Affairs. Come join the _ CELEBRATION R NEW McHENRY STORE! OCT 1 thru 6! BULK FACTORY OUTLET with over ISO FRESH NUTS CANDIES, DELECTABLE AND GIFTS! SOME OTHER NUTS L B T U R K I S H APRICOTS WITH S5 PURCHASE REDEEMABLE V H E S R V • C R Y S T A L L A K E ONE PER EAMILY G O O D T H R U 1 0 1 1 U 6 If : J - 1252 N Green St. McHenry, IL 344-4500 Mon. thru Sat. 9:30-5:30p.m. Closed Sun. I. Wed. 5 Crystal Lake Plaza Crystal Lake, IL 455-NUTS Hrs.: Dally 9:30 6p.m., Sun., Noon-4p.m n i mil in i niwiftflm STOVE TOP TO TABLE TOP! THE RECIPE IS SAVINGS FOR YOU 35% to MOLLY MILLIGAN Your Home Decorator STONEWARE SERVICES FOR 4. Season your next meal with a dash of decorator style. Save on bright, colorful stoneware from the country's top makers. Quaint country designs or sleek modern lines; all chip and crack resistant Dishwasher and microwave safe, too. Here's a sampling: Reg. Sale Rustic 'Heartland' $100 49.99 5-pc completer $ 50 29.99 Banded Kildare ..'.' $100 49.99 5-pc completer $ 50 29.99 White Heritage' $ 90 44.99 5-pc completer $ 40 29.99 Many more patterns in-stock on sale! Sale prices effective thru October 13th. SbIG 19.99 to 39.99 STAINLESS FLATWARE. Reg. $40 to $80. Beautiful flatware services for 8 from Stanley Roberts In your choice of patterns Shown. Reg Sale Rosebud pattern $40 19.99 Save on matching hostess sets, too! Sale prices effective thru October 13th 1984 Paisv M illitan Syndicate HITTING THE HAY If you arc anything like me, the most important piece of furniture in your home is your bed. My bed outranks my sofa, chaise lounge, dining table, desk, even my refrigerator. And, of course, it is absolutely light-years ahead of my microwave oven! Scientists estimate that we spend at least one third of our lives sleeping in bed. And that doesn't include the thousands of hours we spend in bed just resting, reading, talking on the telephone, watching television, eating Hershey bars or otherwise engaging in private delights. Most of us were conceived in a bed, born in a bed and probably will pop off in a bed. It's no wonder that our eternal quest for the ultimate place to recline is so terribly important. In Prehistoric times, a few animal skins probably landed in a heap under a tree and were found to be a distinct improvement over a pile of wet leaves or the cold hard ground. It was at this magical moment that the first bed was made. Thousands of years, later, the sophisticated Egyptians slept like the dead on beds with wooden frames and leather lattice work that supported woven straw mats. After a tough day of driving back the invading Libyans, it was Ramses the III who first said: "Come on gang, let's hit the hay." And when Tutankhamun, the boy-king, went beddy-bye, he was tucked in between linen sheets and covered with an elegantly woven blanket. Around his bed curtains hung from a canopy to ensure privacy, and to protect his royal body from insects. Those pharoahs really knew how to pack it in The Ancient Greeks thought that a bed should be more than just a place on which to sleep or count sheep. They came up with a couch-bed on which they sprawled while eating epmg--* 25% off ALL KITCHEN COORDINATES AND TOWELS. 25% off KOBE COOKWARE. Our own Kobe cookware features a delicate floral design on porcelain-on- steel Choose from a variety of sizes to meet all your cooking needs. Sale 59.99 5-PC. KOBE SET. Reg. 79.99. Porcelain-on-steel. Includes 9 V open t'rypan, 2-qt. covered casserole and 2%-qt. covered oven pan. reading, sleeping--whatever. The Romans (as usual) copied the Greeks. But after the fall of Rome, it was back to basics and once again folks just slept around on the ground. But, if sufficiently exhausted, I suppose one can snore on flint as well as on feathers. During the Middle Ages, there was no such thing as privacy at bedtime. Family, servants, dogs, cats and even pigs all slept in the same great hall where dinner was served. After stuffing their faces, the diners would stuff a sack full of hay, fling it on the banquet table and retire for the night. The following morning they had only to roll over and dig into breakfast. The "Bed and Breakfast" craze was launched! It wasn't until the 11th century that separate bed chambers came into vogue. It was the invention of the chimney (and the realization that fireplaces could be put into walls) that brought about bedrooms. Some time later, fabrics from the Far East (thanks to Marco Polo) were hung from ceilings to keep out drafts and provide the first semblance for privacy. . ~~~ v During the next century, royal beds grew in size and opulence. They became lavish reclining thrones where kings lounged in splendor as they received important guests or conducted state business. Henry the VIII had his royal straw changed every day. Between state business and monkey business, Henry's royal bed chamber often resembled a bookie joint. By the 17th century, beds were smaller, lighter and consisted of feather mattresses on straw bases. Iron beds, introduced sometime later, helped in the war against fleas and bed bugs. Often these beds were decorated with brass touches and were considered chic enough to grace the grandest boudoir. Full bedsteads were used until the 1900's when simple frames attached to headboards won wide popularity. But it wasn't until the 1920's that the revolutionary invention of the innerspring mattress took place--and 193S before the boxspring appeared. To date, we have pounded the human ear on fur beds, straw beds, couch beds, sack beds, feather beds, iron beds, wooden beds, trundle beds, Murphy beds, rollaway beds, bunk beds, sofa beds, "polurepedic" beds, and all this in search of a decent night's sleep! What kind of bed do you think we will be crawling into during the 21st ceritury? Give it some thought. You might even sleep on it. If you have a question for Your Home Decorator, send it along with a self-addressed, stamped envelope to Molly Milligan, P.O. Box 14, Dundee, IL 60118. Allow four weeks for a reply. & : Sale 99.99 6-PC. MAGNALITE PROFESSIONAL® SET. Rag. 149.99. Designed for cooks who set high standards in their cookware. Each piece is cast from an aluminum magnesium alloy that resists rusting and pitting. Heats evenly. Set includes 2 qt. covered saucepan, 10" open saute pan and 5 qt. covered casserole with meat rack. Additional pieces also available at savings! 20% off COPPER ACCESSORIES Sale 7.99 to 23.99 Reg 9 99 to 29 99 The choice is yours Molds, measuring sets, mini molds, butter warmers, mixing bowls, utensils, canister sets, more Here's a sampling of what's in store ' Reg Sale Large mold 9 99 7 .99 5-pc utensil set 19 99 15.99 4-pc canister set 29 99 23.99 20% off REAL MARBLE ACCESSORIES. Sale 4.79 to 15.99 Reg 5 99 to 19 99 Luxurious accessories are made of striking genuine marble Perfect for the kitchen or serving. Choose pantry board lazy susan. cheeseboards. wine coolers salt & peppet. more For example Reg Sale Salt and pepper 7 99 6 39 Pastry board 14 99 11 99 Lazy susan 14 99 11 99 Save on KOBE ELECTRICS. Handy kitchen helpers and buffet server- of gleaming stainless steel Reg Sale Electric wok 49 99 39 99 8-qt. multi-pot 49 99 39 99 Buffet server 49 99 39.99 Not shown: Blender 39.99 34.99 Save on JCPenney electrics, too! 11" fry pan Belgium waffle maker 29 99 32 99 24 99 27 99 30% off CHICAGO® CUTLERY. Choose from a wide variety of sizes All •» with high carbon stainless steel blades and walnut handles. Save on sharpening steels, too* Here's a sampling toeg Sale 2V." peeler/parer.. 8 OO 5 60 6" utility knife .... 15 00 10.50 9" utility knife 21 00 14 70 10" meat slicer 23 00 1610 10" chefs knife 27 00 18 90 Sale *58 5-PC. CUTLERY SET. Rag. $84. Includes solid oak block, 3 parer, 5" utility knife, 8" slicer and 8 sharpening steel Sale priced thru Saturday Ot >ober 13th 1M4 J C Sale prices effective thru Saturday. October 6th, unless otherwise noted. Brickyard Ford City, Fox Valley Center. Golf Mill, Joliet Mall, Lakehurat, Lincoln Mall, Marquette Mall, North Riverside Park, Orland Square. Southlake Mall. Spring Hill Mall, Woodfield, Yorktown V