Pag* 4 NORTHWEST HERALD Section B Wednesday, August 28, 19*5 Advice How to deal with age-old loneliness By BurtGarnett Scripps Howard News Service I'm beginning to feel responsible, in a strange way. Since Providence or whatever au thority has permitted me to become 98 years old with a fair-seeming change to become 100, maybe I ought to explain to contemporaries how I have dealt with problems that besiege us. Maybe I ought to produce a tome such as "Anatomy of Melancholy," by the 16th-century English scholar Robert Burton. I will not, of course, but maybe some worthier fellow w i l l w r i t e Longevity." a n " A n a t o m y o f have become very much aware of the problem. I can testify now that it is a miserable one and calls for great ingenuity in coping with it. Here solitude isn't a trouble. 1 think all of us like to be alone -- to work, to contemplate things. When a person has a car, is physi cally and mentally able to drive, he can go somewhere and find com panionship or something interesting to do. If his TV works he can push aside lonesomeness sometimes -- but by no means always. Being hard-of-hearing is no help and if his eyes are weak and he can't always read, things are not good. Century Bound Burton, born in 1577, felt that mel ancholy embraced troublesome mental states, ranging from lunacy to pessimism, but reviewers do not mention loneliness as one of his concerns. I read the book from beginning to long-winded end years ago, and I don't remember that being solitary was mentioned. But he was only 43 when the book was published -- too young, of course, to have been desperately alone and neglected. In these days, being very old and lonesome can be a melancholy affair. It was back in the 1960s that I wrote a column about retirement. Many responses from readers com plained of being lonely and I didn't know what to advise. Since then I I'm bothered with such ailments and I find lonesomeness a very ob jectionable business. Fortunately I have friends who seem to be willing to come to my rescue when I get desperate. But I don't like to impose on friends. What do I do? What does anybody do who is in a similar situation? Too often I go to the refrigerator and eat a peach -- if there is a peach. And I try the tricks one uses to induce sleep. That's all I have to contribute to wards the defeat of loneliness, as of right now. Later I'll report one or two tricks I have thought up or been told about. (Burt Garnett, 98, is a retired newspaperman living in Key West, Fla. He writes a weekly column about trying to live to be 100 years old.) Gay man objects to womanly affections DEAR ABBY: I have a problem I suppose most men would sell their souls to have, but I would sell mine to be rid of it. Women chase after me. I have Just begun a new job, and four of the 11 secretaries here are after me -- one is married. They are not even subtle; they come right out and tell me what they have in mind. One actually started putting her hands where they didn't belong, and when I sternly rebuked her, she continued to pursue me. I am not interested in any of these women because I am gay. This is no secret, but it doesn't seem to dampen their enthusiasm -- they want me anyway. I have had this problem all my adult life, but now it's reached the breaking point. 1 once asked four women why they thought women fell for me knowing I was gay, and 1 got four different answers. Believe me, if I ever find out what it is, I am going to change it! Please rush me some advice. I'm at the end of my rope. RELUCANT SEX OBJECT IN OHIO DEAR OBJECT: You should know there Is nothing more tempting than forbidden fruit! Tell these predatory females that you arent interested, just as you'd tell a man in whom you had no interest DEAR READERS: Even though serving alcoholic beverages to persons ofi school age is illegal in most states, studies reveal that 98 percent of high school students have consumed alcoholic beverages at least once -- with 72 percent drinking in the past Tint need for dealing realistically with teen age drinking is supported by drinking and driving statistics, and the growth of treatment far tHHjM tnr f l l f f lhoUfS I have juk read a booklet that I think should be in every home where there are children from 10 to 18 years old. It's for children and read. It's titled, "Let's Talk About parents to Drinking." I can be obtained by writing to: Family, P.O. Box 57006, Washington, DC. S0037. The booklet is free. And the postage is paid, too. Send for your booklet today. DEAR ABBY: I've lived in this home for 25 years and have always used gas to heat it. Last year my next-door neighbors decided to switch to wood. The wood burning continues for 24 hours a day all winter long and the inside of my house constantly smells of burning wood. My eyes burn, my nose is stuffy and my sinuses hurt. Wood burning is allowed in this township, so I was advised to speak to my neighbors about this annoyance. I even offered to pay them $500 a winter not to burn wood, but they told me they didn't want the money. I tried to seal my house up to keep the odor out, but It creeps in anyway. 1 can't afford to move, and I'm uncomfortable with things as they are, so what do you advise? DREADING WINTER DEAR DREADING: Because an activity Is permitted by law does not make It moral, ethical or acceptable. One's conduct should be guided by consideration for others and a sense of fairness. Obviously if you can't afford to move, you can't afford to sue your neighbors for Imposing noxious fumes on you. Pity. It appears that; are at the mercy of selfish and I I I • ! is l l l l II MM MtffDDOrB. If anyone out there has a suggestion, send It to me, and IH pass it along. (Is your social llfo In a slump? Lonely? Got Abby's updated, rovlsod and expanded booklet. "How to Be Popular" -- tar people of all ages. Send your name and address clearly printed with a check or money order for $2.50 and a long, stamped (39 cents) self-addressed envelope to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 3*923, Hollywood, Calif. 90034.) Kids' games are more than entertainment Giant polish sausage shown MILWAUKEE (UPI) - A 350- pound Polish sausage, proclaimed the world's largest, will be featured next weekend in a refrigerated truck with a plexiglass shield at the annual lakefront Polish Fest. The gigantic sausage of beef, pork and seasonings was mixed, stuffed, smoked and folded into the shape of a ring kHhe kitchens of Milwau kee's KI&flKt Sausage Co. Monday. Vfewettfill be able to buy certifi cates tbwrccan be redeemed after ward at^the sausage company for slices of the record-setting sausage. Jack Klement, a spokesman for the sausage company, estimated the final sausage was about 25 inch es in circumference and 17 to 18 feet long. It took two men two hours to stuff, and about a day to cook it. Guinness has no listing for the largest Polish sausage, mentioning only the longest pork sausage, an 8.8-mile monster made in 1983 by M&M Meat Shops of Kitchener, On tario. It weighed 17,484 pounds. By Helen Marshall United Press International JOLIET, 111. -- Playing a game together offers a family more than just a chance for entertainment. Children have a chance to learn social skills and to develop their judgment, memory and perception, too. Games designer Jeff Conrad has several tips to help parents when they are buying games for their children. Parents should choose games ap propriate the the child's learning ability. Conrad says simple match ing card games like Go Fish are good for three-year-olds. By the age of four or five, chil dren have begun to develop social skills as they learn to interact with other children. Games that chal lenge the abilty to relate to num bers, counting, telling time, and matching and sorting are good for developing these skills. Conrad, who works with International Games Macintosh Means Business Whatever Business you are in the powerful and easy to use Macintosh 512 personal computer by Apple can now be combined with the powerful Jazz Software from Lotus. Jazz may be the only software you ever need. Analyze trends, develope forecasts, keep track of files and even communicate with other computers. All five programs in Jazz are "on line" and with Hot View can be easily transfered and incorporated. 5jJ a SAVE $980c Now on the Macintosh 512, Extra Disk Drive, Imagewriter, and JaZZ (after rebate). Macintosh is a trademark of Mcintosh Laboratory, Inc. and ia being used with its express permisaion Apple, and the Apple logo are trademark! of Apple Computer, Inc. * Authorial!! teller rniCRQ COMPUTER CEMTERSlnc. 22 Crystal Lake Plaza Crystal Lake4 IL 60014 (915) 455-2223 546 S. Randall Road St. Charles. IL 60174 (312) 564*9505 here,says Old Maid, Hearts and War are good examples. From six to eight years of age, Conrad advises that children be ex posed to mildly competitive games that can help them plan strategy. Board games, team-oriented activi ties and card games are well-suited to this age group. Nine and 10-year-olds are ready for more advanced strategy games, the same kind that adults play. Par ents should never be afraid to give their children challenging games, Conrad says. The games designer also cautions parents about what to do, or not do, once card and board games have been selected. The first is to make sure the children understand the directions. Try running through a practice game. Scorekeeplng allows children to practice their arithmetic, so share the scorekeeping tasks. Parents are advised to encourage their children to form strategies in playing a game. Conrad says kids need to know that perseverance and practice will bring a positive result, but don't play too long. Parents should watch a child for signs of wandering attention. Part of game playing is learning to be a good loser. If a child loses and acts like it's the end of the world, Conrad encourages parents to continue playing the game with the other children involved and then talk to the unhappy child individual ly. He suggests parents let the child know they understand his or her frustration, but not reward the sore loser behavior. While playing games together with your children can be educa tional and fun, it is also a good way to ward off boredom and keep the peace during family vacation travel. Susan Laber, a child development consultant for International Games, has some practical suggestions for parents beleaguered by car-bound or travel weary youngsters. One is to keep the children happy with card games such as Old Maid. She says they can be played any where, they don't require elaborate equipment and all members of the family can particiapate. Except the driver, of course. Laber says board games or puz zles are good for picnics or rainy days in the motel, or while waiting in an airport. Summer vacations provide a good climate for learning new and chal lenging games, Laber said. Because children are traveling and experi encing new things, they're especial ly receptive to new ideas... or new games. Why electric heat pump ~ owners have second thoughts when the weather gets cold. For people who bought electric neat pumps, cold weather can be bad news indeed. Because heat pumps lose capacity as the out side temperature drops. At some point, usually right around freezing, they need help from a backup heating system. Usually, it's electric resistance heating, so you end up heating your home with one of the costliest heating systems just when the weather gets really cold. In contrast, gas furnaces and boilers have no trouble coping efficiently with severe winters. Whatever the outside temperature, the new high efficiency models can continue to squeeze up to 95% of the available heat out of every cubic foot of gas. So you're getting maximum efficiency to minimize heating costs in bitter cold weather. Another argument for a gas furnace or boiler is the cost of natural gas itself. Today, it's the least expensive fuel available in this area, and current forecasts indicate it will continue to maintain a strong competitive advantage for years to come. If you're thinking about adding to or replacing your home heating system, we strongly suggest you go with natural gas. It's the only way to be sure you won't be having second thoughts when winter comes to Illinois. 0 NORTHERN ILLINOIS GAS One of the NICOR bas.c ener«v compan.es . . . w . ^ ^ ̂ ̂