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M Riding out a perfect Monday storm Minutes later my daughter announced there was a small body of water pooling in the mudroom at the base of the washer. She understated. The oor was ooded. Not wanting to exaggerate, but the ooding was such that I was tempted to grab an ironing board and surf over to the offending appliance. I spent the next hour multitasking. Mopping while moping. And cursing on the side. I knew the washer was `kaput'. Old Betty had been on her last legs for a long time. The last time a repair guy visited, he said he could patch her up, and she might run for a few more months, but that's the best he could do. Next time she broke down, he sadly advised, we'd have to put her out to (scrap metal) pasture. Once I'd stemmed the awful tide of water, I started calling appliance stores. Salespeople kept wanting to talk to me about irrelevant things like cost, features and high-ef ciency, and I kept wanting to talk to them about truly important things like... timing. As in, how quick- 13 | Thursday, February 27, 2014 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com onday morning I awoke feeling sicker than a dog. Head aching, congested sinuses, and with each swallow, the astonishing trek of a thousand rusty razor blades down my throat. Crawling out of bed, I whined all the way to the kitchen where I mugged a coffee. You know, back in the good old days a guy in my slippers would have just laid low for a month or two until he was actually feeling better. But these days, everyone's so overloaded with obligations, down time is not an option. So, I sat in front of the laptop and punched the old time clock, all the while feeling good and sorry for myself. A few minutes later, out slinked the pup. Gagging down the hallway, all the way into the kitchen. Eventually throwing up all over her bed. My word, if there's anything in this world worse than a man feeling sicker than a dog, it's a dog feeling sicker than a dog. Happy Monday, I thought, as I tossed the dog's barfy bedding into the washing machine and went back to work. That's Life Andy Juniper Guest Contributor ly can we get a new appliance delivered to our door? Anyone who thinks I can live for more than half a day without a washing machine doesn't know what a clumsy slob I am. At some point in my search for swift delivery, our middle son called with the news he either forgot his backpack at home, or he left it on the subway. That being the backpack he uses to transport his brand new laptop. Arghhh. Happy Monday, I thought, feeling good and sorry for myself. Rusty razor blades. A pup that's sicker than a dog. Old Betty buying the farm. Mopping while moping. And cursing on the side. A possibly lost laptop. And hey, only four days until the weekend. -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com. Performing & Visual Arts March Break Camp March 10-14, 9am-4pm Performing and Visual Arts School Ages 3-14 Was your house dressed for the polar vortex? CHOOSE ENERGY-SMART UPGRADES AND SAVE! This spring, Union Gas will give you up to $2,500 to outfit your house in smart, energy-efficient style. With the Home Reno Rebate, you'll get cash back for energy-saving upgrades ­ like new insulation, for instance. See how you can renovate and save at uniongas.com/homereno. Explore Art, Music, Drama & Dance · Specialty Camps · Competitive Dance · Intensive Music & Art · Boys Only Camps · Before & After Child Care · End of Week Performances · Small Group Sizes · Camera Viewing of all Studios · Friendly Qualified Instructors CALL A PARTICIPATING CERTIFIED ENERGY ADVISOR BEFORE STARTING YOUR RENOVATIONS. Amerispec of Canada 1-866-284-6010 Barrier Sciences Group 1-866-333-3920 Direct Energy 1-866-841-3112 The Energuy 1-888-442-9577 F2 Energy 1-877-424-9262 Green Communities 1-866-865-7337 Ridge Energy Consultants 1-888-236-5116 June 30 to August 22 Summer Camps STUDIO PAVAS 905-403-9435 1-2301 Royal Windsor Dr., Mississauga www.studiopavas.com studiopavas@sympatico.ca Some conditions apply. Please go to uniongas.com/homereno for complete terms and conditions. HOME