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Insomnia not only brings lack of sleep, but a slew of anxieties continued from p.16 off my tricycle when I read that one). They suffer impaired brain function. OK, I'll give `em that one. Since I went all Sleepless In Seattle (only, I don't think I'm in Seattle, but at this point who knows?), the space between my ears -- where once there was occasional clarity -- is now nothing but cottony clouds. To boot, this insomnia comes equipped with anxieties, not the least of which is the constant worry I'll fall asleep (crash bigtime) in odd and unacceptable places, like in the ditch while walking the dogs, or at the dinner table, with my head in a bowl of pasta, sawing spaghetti logs. Oh, and I also worry, fatigue-fueled, I'll write something nonsensical, so incomprehensible and incoherent, and no one (editors included) will notice any difference from my usual submissions. Yikes. Of course, there are infinite upsides to all this not sleeping, like... well, I'm getting a ton of work done. Because when you're awake at 2 a.m., there's not a whole lot else to do. To boot, friends -- black humourists, each and every one of them -- gain plenty of fodder from my predicament. Just the other day, I texted a buddy (at 4 a.m.) to confirm a lunch engagement the following day. He wrote back: "See you then. I would say it's one sleep away, but maybe not...." Oh, and I don't have to buy a costume for Halloween. I'll just be myself and people will be amazed: "Great costume, dude, you really, really, really look like a zombie." -- Andy Juniper can be contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, found on Facebook www.facebook.com, or followed on Twitter at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters. 17 | Thursday, October 29, 2015 | OAKVILLE BEAVER | www.insideHALTON.com Develop Good Habits Early! R BOOK YOU CHILD'S CHECK UP TODAY! 2015 Gold Award Winner for Best Dentist as chosen by you. Lunch: 11:30 am - 3:00 pm Buffet Hour All You Can Eat Monday - Friday ................................................ $11.95 Saturday - Sunday ............................................. $13.95 FAMOUS CHINESE CUISINE · DINE-IN · BUFFET · TAKE OUT · DELIVERY · PARTY TRAY Dinner: 5:00 pm - 9:00 pm Monday - Thursday ............................................ $16.95 Friday, Saturday, Sunday & Holidays ............... $18.95 GOLD GOLD 905-338-1010 649 Fourth Line, Oakville (at Speers) NOW OPEN! 330 Dundas St. E. Oakville 905-257-3182 info@klerdental.ca www.klerdental.ca Open evenings & saturdays FLU SHOTS Walk-In Clinic HealthSense Medical When you need healthcare fast: Short wait Stay Healthy. Walk-in & times get your Flu Shot Short wait times Convenient location at WestOak Trails Plaza Convenient location at Westoak Trails Plaza Great hours weekdays 8:30am to 8:30pm 8:30pm 8:30pm *Please arrive by 7pm for your flu shot. Pharmacy onsite AyA Kitchens of oAKville 1195 north service roAd west Short wait times! 905-825-DOCS (3627) 2983 Westoak Trails Blvd South of Dundas, at Bronte Rd info@healthsensemedical.ca www.healthsensemedical.ca HOURS Mon - Fri 8:30am to 8:00pm Saturday 9:00am to 2:00pm 905.847.1522 ayaoakville.com Family Doctors · Walk-In Clinic Chiropractic · Pharmacy · Travel Clinic